Universal Language

by David Silver


5 - Legal Alien

President Wilson drummed his pointer finger against his desk with a thoughtful frown, considering the options laid before him. The alien was ending their mandatory stay in the isolation room. Every report said she was most likely safe. It was time to take that gamble and bring them up to the White House, and treat them as the foreign dignitary they were, though none were more aware of the consequences that may come of it.

Just releasing her was a big step. She'd be an alien, an illegal alien. He snorted at that. "We can fix that." He reached for the desk phone on his desk. "Hello, I need USCIS, get me their director on the line. Thank you." He set the phone back on its cradle, just for it to ring a moment later. "Perfect timing. Thank you for picking up so fast."

The voice on the other side spoke with a kind professionalism. "Mister President. How can I assist you?"

"We have an immigrant, and they're a special case." He sucked in air through his teeth. "They're as foreign as it gets. An alien."

"A what?"

"A talking horse from another planet."

There was a pause, but the man on the other end only hummed thoughtfully. "We've already dealt with immigrants from Mars. How is this any different?" That he was joking was clear between them, their shared chuckle making that quite clear. "You want to get her a visa?"

"I don't think she plans to stay. A Visa would be fine, and she can apply for something longer term if she's up for it. The only trick—"

"Is the country of origin, got it. She isn't the first immigrant we got without one of those, and she won't be the last one."

"No, she isn't." The president lifted his finger to the desk. "The only oddball in this equation is that she's from another planet, which puts this outside the normal bounds of legal procedure."

"The paperwork's clear enough." Distant typing could be heard, clacking at the keys busily. "No country, at least here on Earth, and that's all this paperwork cares about. She'll be cleared to stay. I'll send a fax your way with questions for her. Name, gender, the usual. We'll need a picture taken. I bet you have a supply of them already."

"We do. She's wearing a suit, for safety precautions, but I bet you can guess. Horses are equine, just like you can see on TV. There is one extra thing about our guest I wanted to mention." The president sighed gently, reaching out and toying with a paper clip he had left on his desk. "She has a, shall we say, distinct accent."

The man on the other side of the phone laughed. "That's just being polite. That we can understand her at all is a damned miracle. An accent is the least of our words. I'll get the paperwork to you, Mister President. Get it filled and send it back. We'll get our space horse ready to visit the US of A. Oh, and thank you. You gave my day a little something special to laugh about. I needed that."

President Wilson smiled as he set the phone down. "One less problem." He turned to the window, looking up to the sky. "Now, we need to prepare for your arrival."


"Please stay right there." The soldier held up a hand at Cindy. "We'll be opening it shortly, but you, here." He pointed to a striped line.

"I don't think she'll bite my head off." Cindy rolled her shoulders. "She played the long game if she wanted a snack. I brought some carrots anyway." She held them up for inspection, the green stems hanging in a cluster, just the orange ends showing. "She eats those, right? Or is it an alien thing?"

The soldier frowned at the bundle of vegetation. "You brought food." He waved over one of the scientists.

The scientist hurried over, eyes widening as he saw the carrots, then at the woman holding them. "Are those— You actually brought carrots. They eat carrots? How do you know that? Have you actually fed her?" He looked to the soldier, eyes bulging with an alarm that was rising inside him.

Cindy tucked the carrots away. "I have no idea. I was just going to offer them and if she likes them, great."

The scientist put a hand to his head. "Start with the smallest bit. We don't know what her digestive system is expecting, and we don't want to upset it." He peered at the carrots. "Those are just a guess?"

Cindy shrugged with upheld hands. "Yeah."

The scientist turned to the soldier, pointing to Cindy. "If those are in the air, or the atmosphere, and she likes them, then it's a fair bet. If the alien doesn't want them, remove them, immediately."

"You got it." The soldier nodded at the scientist and turned to face the isolation booth. "Get your head in the game." He focused on the door ahead of him, hand resting on the pistol at his side, but he didn't draw it. The device on his wrist buzzed a low tone, an indicator that it was primed for use.

With a soft hiss, the chamber began to slide open, the air inside flowing freely into the main area of the facility. The door opened slowly, and with it came the strange, but familiar music of a pony voice. It sounded just like the recordings, but with an oddly musical lilt that seemed to carry the emotion.

Cindy cocked her head as she listened to it, unable to understand it, but with a feeling it was all rather pleasant, all the same.

Applejack trotted out. She was equine, but she was no horse. She wasn't a pony either. She was an alien, her limbs not quite connecting properly. They were perfectly right, for one of her, but she wasn't from Earth. "Howdy," echoed the artificial human voice. "Sure is good to get out of there." She looked around curiously, exposed for the first time, her suit removed. She wore no clothing save some fashion of hat on her head. "They say the air is fine in here."

The humans looked at the pony, examining the details they couldn't from the isolated chamber. Her body was thick, muscular, with a long tail and a lean head with big eyes that swiveled to take in the room. She saw something and accelerated towards it, or her. "Cindy!" She moved quickly, her legs working fluidly to close the gap in moments. That one word so strange, because she sang it out, almost getting the word write in her alien tongue, just for it to be repeated in English.

Applejack held her foreleg up in front of Cindy. "Howdy." Her mane bobbed as her head bowed in respect. "Good to meet ya."

Cindy was smiling, almost dumbstruck. "It's so nice to be sharing air." She offered a hand. "How do you say hello? We like shaking hands, but you don't have those." She glanced at Applejack's hooves. They were split down the center, cloven hooved, four of them. "Can you?"

"Shake hands?" Applejack shifted one of her hooves over, pressing it to Cindy's hand. She was warm, and soft to the touch. "It's nicer than ah expected."

Cindy squeezed Applejack's hoof in her hand, marveling at the texture. It was no hoof, at least no Earth hoof. It was like holding a closed hand, soft and warm to her exploring fingers. "Please tell me if I bother you. I don't want to do that."

"Nah." Applejack took her hoof back to the ground. "Ah'll tell ya, promise. Ain't gonna be sore 'cause somecreature that ain't know me gets somethin' wrong. Just don't go tuggin' anythin'. That's rude."

Cindy lifted her hands innocently. "I wouldn't dream of it." She pulled the carrots back out and showed them to Applejack. "You should probably learn my name. It's Cindy." She smiled at that.

Applejack examined the strange things Cindy was offering. She delicately sniffed at them in the same way an Earth creature might, that much not too dissimilar. "Izzat food?" She licked her lips. "Smells fresh." She bit into one with a crunch and chewed it a moment. She swallowed with a happy sigh. "Nice an' sweet. You got any more of those?"

The soldiers behind them were standing ramrod straight, stiff as a board as they watched the creature interact with the one civilian that they all thought was crazy to go on interacting like it was no big deal.

Cindy laughed it off. "I'm only allowed to give you a taste, until we're sure you can handle it. We don't want our alien getting any belly-aches." She paused. "Do you have a belly?"

Applejack recoiled at the question. "'Course ah do! Pretty sure we eat the same." She pointed up at her snout. "Food goes in one way." She pointed at her midsection. "An' it comes back out."

Cindy blinked at that exit point. "Almost the same." In and out, that much felt similar. "I think they're wanting me to point you that way." She redirected Applejack towards some officious sorts.

They began the process of giving her a visa and explaining what it allowed and didn't allow. "We don't imagine you plan on it, but you are not permitted to seek employment. You'll need a more permanent visa for that. This does identify you, and gives you permission to be here."

She flipped it over in her hooves, squinting at it, as if she were struggling to read the words in human. She gave up with a shrug. "Ah'll trust ya." She pressed it against the front of her chest, where it stuck as if it were a magnet. "Right there?"

"That works." He offered a smile. "If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some questions myself."

Cindy tilted her head to the side. "Just questions, not tests? Are we good there?"

The official raised his hands. "I'm with immigration, ma'am. We don't do many tests if you do your paperwork properly. Now, Applejack, we wanted to know if you had a last name, or if that was a full name? Apple Jack?" He nodded to himself. "That makes sense to me."

Applejack seemed confused a moment. "If yer askin' what family ah'm from, they're the Apples. Applejack of the Apples." She nodded along with the words, sung as they were. "What's yer family name?" She was looking towards Cindy.

Cindy froze in place a moment, then thawed with a sheepish smile. "My name is Cindy Miller. I'm just plain old Cindy, I don't have any fancy titles." She reached out to Applejack. "That's good to know, though. It makes me feel like I can call you something."

"Yer fine, Cin." Applejack lowered her head. "Just as fine as anyother."

With her identification taken care of, other agents stepped forward, whisking Applejack away from Cindy and leaving her there alone. Cindy blinked at the space that once held her new alien friend. "Where'd they go?"

A soldier shrugged. "That is an alien. Their schedule is booked, ma'am. I doubt you'll get to see her for a while." He turned on his heel, walking away briskly to join his peers, who were all gathering by a vehicle. One waved for her to follow.

Cindy scurried to catch up. "She's coming to Washington, right?"

One of the soldiers raised a hand. "That's Need to Know, and you don't Need to Know. We'll give you a lift, and we have your number if you're needed. You need to head home."

"Home." She nodded idly and hopped into the back of the vehicle, buckling herself in before it even started moving, looking back at the building she had spent a lot of time in. They had let her sit in with Applejack, asking simple questions and talking at length, but now Applejack was gone. "Is it odd I already miss her?"

"A little." Another soldier shrugged. "But not that odd." They all laughed, rushing her back to her home as they had been ordered.