//------------------------------// // The Picnic // Story: Source Code // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// I laid down on the picnic blanket as everypony started rummaging through their respective picnic baskets to get the various treats and dishes out. Shining Armor and Cadance only brought things to make sandwiches with, but I’m assuming one of them is a sandwich guru. Me, being the dumb, stupid idiot I am, actually decided to make sushi that I kept in a special, magical cooling box. It was expensive as shit; salmon was not cheap. Ponies do usually eat plants, or plant versions of most food, but they can, and don’t usually mind eating fish to make up for any proteins that their plant-based meals lack. I teleported a pot, and quickly put together a fire pit. I poured oil into the pot and set it on the fire while I got some potatoes, perfectly prepped to be fried into… Well, fries. Actual fries. Fuck hay fries. A bowl of mashed potatoes was lifted out, and it took everything in my body to not eat all of them before we all got settled down. I ran a diagnostic spell, before deciding to just heat the oil up myself. “So,” I said. “How is everypony?” I asked as we all had finally set up everything for the picnic. Cadance and Twilight were snuggled up together, Rarity and Sweetie Belle in their own corner, though the younger of the sisters was snuggled up with Button and Scootaloo. Shining Armor wasn’t too far away from Cadance and Twilight, but clearly wanted to let the soon-to-be in-laws have some quality time together… I don’t think Shining told Twilight about how he’s dating Cadance. Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash were snuggled up together. Fluttershy was eying the sushi. In fact, she was one of the few ponies eying it. Luna was laying on top of Celestia’s back, clearly trying to be an annoyance, while Tale was reading a book with Spike. Pinkie was surprisingly still, and enjoying a sandwich that Shining threw together for her… it had candy canes in it, along with a cupcake that somehow wasn’t smashed by it being in between two slices of white bread. “Well, aside from you disappearing,” Twilight started. “Life has been going on as usual for most of us. We defeated Discord, Rarity found a weird coltfriend, and…” “Me and Apple Jack are the coolest couple around!” Rainbow Dash happily announced. “You two are dating now?” I asked. “Yeah… after you disappeared into that portal, we…” Apple Jack cleared her throat. “Ah thought you were a goner, Source. Most of us here did. Even if you survived whatever the heck that portal’s inhabitants could throw at you, how would you get back?” She asked rhetorically. “So Dashie and Ah met up and talked. It ended with us sharing a bed and planning a dinner together. Life comes at you fast, so we decided to stop beating around the bush.” “You two will be such a cute couple,” I chuckled. “I’m not from Equestria, so I’m just gonna assume, since Ponyville’s a mare dominated town, that this stuff is normal? Because when we first met, you seemed like you wanted to get a little extra cuddly with me, AJ.” “It is rather common,” Celly explained. “Most ponies don’t care as long as the two, or more, involved in a relationship all love each other.” “That is so much better than my home…” I chuckled. “Ah, I’m not going to get into that stuff, but it was just becoming more widely accepted back home before I left.” “...How bad?” Rainbow asked. “So uh,” I shrugged. “I’m gonna keep it a bit with you guys, when I first went through that portal, it wasn’t the first time I’ve been through one, I think. I woke up initially in a hospital after a magic accident. An accident that took me from another world, changed me into a pony, with no way to go back home, or turn back into what I once was. My home country, or rather, my home world was filled with these hairless, bipeds called humans. The closest thing I can compare them to here is a chimp.” “Is that why you got good with magic so quickly?” Rarity asked.  “Haha, no. Humans lack any ability to make magic, and often get by on technology. The specifics aren’t something I’m gonna get into, since I’m just coming clean, and using this to answer Rainbow.” I rubbed the back of my head. “So uh, there were at least a hundred, different countries back home, along with numerous ‘beliefs’ that they had. Let’s just say I suddenly became gay and slept with Big Mac. Y’all wouldn’t even care, Celly wouldn’t as long as she gets a reverse herd out of it. In my country, Ireland, nobody besides some old people would care, and usually, nothing would come of it. “In some countries, if I did that, I would’ve gotten killed immediately.” “Oh…” Rainbow hissed. “What the buck is wrong with humans?” “Humans, some humans, not all, are very backwards thinking. To be clear, I don’t give a damn if you and AJ are dating; I think it’s adorable. I was just curious, since AJ might’ve tried making a move or two on me when we first met.” “What can Ah say? Yer a fun stallion to hangout with.” “And now, we can be the cutest, the coolest, and the most awesome couple ever!” “Mmm,” I shrugged. “Dunno about that. You’ve got me and Celly to compete with. Celly makes up for any cute qualities that I lack, and you cannot tell me otherwise.” “I do agree with Source; Celly carried him like a foal under her wing earlier,” Luna said. “Though I believe-” “Mmm.” We all were interrupted by Fluttershy, who finally stuck a bit of sushi in her mouth. “Was I interrupting something important?” she asked, suddenly shying away from the spotlight she found herself in. “I didn’t think you’d like sushi,” I nodded. “Though sushi is a generous term, it’s just some rice and salmon.” “I do like fish,” Fluttershy shrugged. “I prepare it sometimes for my animal friends, and I got curious once. I really like salmon. Were you hoping to try some, Source? I-” “If I want some, I can make it at home, Flutters. Just enjoy it, and don’t let it sit out of that ice-box for too long, or it can go back and give you the runs.” Fluttershy nodded, before continuing to enjoy some more sushi. That was not something any of us were expecting, but I suppose the animal expert has accepted that everyone has a mouth to feed, even if the stuff needed to feed that mouth isn’t the most… pleasant thing in the world. As long as it wasn't a sapient race, it was fair game, I guess. I finished frying all the potato fries, so I just started helping myself to some after seasoning them with salt and pepper. Button, immediately recognizing that I was about to prep some cheese sticks, dragged Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle over to try my cooking.  I ran out of cheese sticks in twenty seconds, because of these foals, and mostly Luna. Luna ate forty seven cheese sticks, teleported more cold, uncooked ones to me from somewhere, and made me fry those too. Then I ran out of those too. Then I put the pot full of oil up in my secret stash in the Castle of the Two Sisters; I was done with frying stuff for the picnic. Everpony started chatting and sampling stuff from the various foods from whatever everypony brought. It was a fun little reprieve from the rest of the world, honestly. After Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash tried having a cuddling contest between the two of them, and the subsequent cuddler contest between the two of them and Luna and Tale, Tale was sadly dragged into his marefriend’s competitive side, no he didn’t complain. Tale was too busy being snuggled, and too busy being happy about being snuggled to notice, or complain. I sat in my little corner, humming as Cadance, Shining Armor, and Twilight approached me. Twilight had a weird machine on her. “What’s up?” I asked. “So you’re an alicorn now, right?” Twilight asked. “Yeah,” I shrugged. “Dunno how to move my wings, but I do have them.” “So I was just thinking, since alicorns typically have more magic, naturally at least, than most unicorns, I was going to run a series of tests on you.” “Ah shit,” I facehoofed. “What? Do you not want to find out how much magic you have? For science?” Twilight asked. “My human brain thinks that combining the terms ‘science’ and ‘magic’ together is a sin, Twilight. But I’m just concerned. If I got any stronger with magic, then that’s gonna suck for me. I’ll have to entirely rewrite, reconfigure, and redesign my customized version of Python just to make full use of my magic again,” I hummed before DragonFiring into the sky, and relanding besides Twilight. “Hopefully this just means I have more stamina? I don’t particularly need power.” “That’s what we’re testing for!’ Twilight hit a button on the machine and a leather air bag popped out. It’s like one of those things used for blood pressure, but instead, you squeeze it with your magic. This gives a rough, very rough estimate of how strong a unicorn is, but an accurate idea of how strong their telekinetic grip is. Now my students, Celestia, and Luna were watching me, or just about anypony present with a horn. “Just squeeze this,” she said. As I did, I decided to look over the machine without looking at the airbag. “You made a portable magic testing machine?” “Yup! All the instruments needed to get an accurate idea of how much magic any one pony has!” Twilight started eying me. “Source, did you get better at telekinesis while I’ve been living in Ponyville?” “Wha?” I asked. “You’re using telekinesis without having direct eyesight on the airbag. While that isn’t unprecedented, most unicorns need that line of sight.” “Oh yeah, I figured out how to do that a while ago. Since my diagnostic spells are always running when my horn’s lit up, I can always get a rough idea of where whatever I’m levitating is at.” “...You’re constantly running a diagnostic spell? Whenever you use Levitate?” “I do it with every spell. Shields, blasts, all that fun stuff.” Shining Armor and Twilight gave each other a look. I tilted my head. “Is that bad? I just use it while attacking, or for stuff like this. If I get a shot on a shield, I can pick up on how to disable it. My most recent spell invention requires you to know how to run diagnostic spells to use it.” “Source, most unicorns can’t use two spells at once. Not even me!” Twilight threw her hooves in the air. “What the buck?” “Oh. That’s cool. So,” I teleported while still squeezing the airbag. “Oh sick. I don’t get an immediate hornache from teleporting anymore!” I cheered. “Source, what the actual heck?” Twilight shook her head. “Of course, of all ponies, you figure out how to use multiple spells at once.” “Should I tell her that the Light Shield has its own magical system?” Twilight’s eye started twitching, so I didn’t go into detail. “Well,” Twilight sighed. “Your telekinetic grip hasn’t changed. And the rough estimate for your magic was the same when we last tested it. As in it’s not that strong. I think Cadance has a stronger grip than you.” “Mmm, that’s probably fair. Lemme use Python real quick.” I squeezed the airbag with Python and ended up getting higher results. “God damn. This shit is such a clutch for me,” I chuckled. “Thank god I didn’t magically overload or whatever.” “Well,” Twilight shrugged. “That’s about as in-depth of a test as I can do with this right now. It’s a portable magic tester, but it needs a bit of extra setting up for some of the more complex tests.” She ended up pushing the machine off to the side. I think Twi was just trying not to overload me with magic testing; she’s just giving me some space. Unfortunately for her, I demanded snuggles, and snuggles are a completely platonic thing for ponies, even if they are more enjoyable with your lover. I snatched Twilight up in Levitation, Teleported over to me, and flopped my stupid, still short arse, on top of her. Twilight blinked a few times. “Source,” she said pointedly. “Why did you decide to-” “Source Code is currently down, Snuggle Code is currently in. You can find Source Code’s business hours on Yahoo.com. Any further questions can also be found on Yahoo.com. Make sure you are using Internet Explorer, or you might not get the best results.” I nuzzled into Twilight’s mane, and let out a long, deep sigh. A nap sounds just like something I need right now. I think the unicorn I decided to use as a pillow was broken. She stopped talking after my little, automatic announcement. “What the buck is Yahoo?” “I dunno, a dead search engine.” “What’s a dead search engine?” “A human thing.” “You are going to tell me what that is at some point, I hope you know that.” “I know, but confusing you did make it so I got a unicorn, which is almost as fluffy as Celly, to lay on.” “How are you not any taller than before you got wings, by the way?” Cadance asked. “Usually, at least in my case, I got a little taller than the average mare, and kept growing with every passing year.” “I’m doomed to be short? I dunno. I was pretty tall as a human,” no I wasn’t. “So I guess the universe decided to do some justice and make me a short, little bitch as justice. It also decided that sending me to two different dimensions was a good idea.” I shivered. “Okay, nevermind, I am not thinking of the second dimension.” I nuzzled into Twilight and took a deep, long breath. Twilight smells like she uses velvet scented shampoo. It’s surprisingly pleasant… I rolled onto my back and decided to take that nap now that Twilight stopped inquiring what Yahoo was, and Cadance didn’t dive deeper into why I was still short. I wish I was a little taller. I’m tired of being almost as short as Fluttershy. Something was punching my shoulder. It wasn’t a hard punch in the shoulder, but I could feel somepony punching me. “C’mon! He has wings now and he’ll be the best flying buddy!” Oh. “Dash, he’s trying to take a nap. Let him rest,” I heard from… how did Twilight get out from under me? My pillow is noticeably warmer than earlier. I groaned as I continuously got punched in the shoulder. I opened one eye, and noted that there was nothing but white. I opened the other and saw Rainbow Dash constantly punching my shoulder. I took a sniff of the air and realized I was cuddling with Celly. I nuzzled deeper into the shoulder, even if I was basically mushing the side of my face, to the point where my left eye could only see Celly’s fur, I was comfy. “See he finally woke up!” “Leave me be,” I groaned. “Celly is comfy, and I’m still sleepy.” “Source…” Rainbow droned. “Wake up! Fluttershy and I wanna show you how to fly!” “I can walk in the air, and use DragonFire. Do I have to fly?” I asked. “YES! Flying’s awesome!” “I wanna nap though…” “My Source does require his nap time,” Celly said. “Frankly, I find it adorable that the very moment he realizes he’s using me as a pillow, he immediately wants to stay asleep. Unless Button is using him as a pillow, Source wakes right up from a nap and is on the move again.” “How’d I even get here? I fell asleep on Twilight, right?”  “Twilight left you over here after Apple Jack got a ball out, and asked if she wanted to play. I volunteered to be your nap-time snuggle buddy. I was just about to take a nap myself until Rainbow Dash came over and started punching you in the shoulder. Somehow, it didn’t wake you up when she was punching you so hard that I could feel it through your body. Did you enchant yourself again?” “...I used one enchantment on myself. I didn’t think I’d need that many if I was going to be in very, very close proximity to you, throughout the week, Celly.” I stretched my legs. “Give me another thirty minutes Dash. We’re gonna be in Ponyville all day, and you can use the rest of the day to teach me how to fly.” “Really?” Rainbow asked. “Yes, really.” “AWESOME!” Rainbow ran off, likely to go play whatever ball game AJ was playing, probably buckball. I nuzzled Celly one more time, and let out a deep breath. “You know she’s going to hold you to that now, right?” “I know. I’ll be true to my world. I just wanna lay here for a while, y’know?” “I know. Being able to hold my stallion like this, and keep him safe and warm under my wings? This is something any mare would wish to do, Source. Stallions are outnumbered by mares by quite a bit, so the fact that I’ve gotten my own stallion to myself? I am ecstatic. Though I do wish you would’ve kept the enchantments on yourself to zero while you were snuggled up under my wing, I do understand why. I am glad that you only deemed it necessary to use one of those, instead of several while in my presence.” “Like you’d let anything near me. The moment somebody does, and genuinely wants to hurt me, you’d melt their faces off in an instance. I know I’m safe like-” I paused. Button and the rest of the foals just climbed up on my right side, and were getting ready to take a nap themselves. I blinked a few times. “Uh… I guess Dash is gonna have to wait until these wee-rascals wake up?” “I suppose she will. And she will understand that you, once a foal starts using you as a pillow, you don’t move until that foal wakes up.” “Hopefully she does.” I think Celly fell asleep, and I was not too far behind her if she did. The next time I woke up, I was dragged away by Rainbow, only after Fluttershy laid into her for not being careful of the foals laying on my side. I was wide awake long before Dash tried moving me, so I heard the whole thing. I kept my eyes closed, but I just found it hilarious and couldn’t help but snicker as Fluttershy soundly, and logically broke down any arguments her friend could come up with.  “But Fluttershy, he should learn how to fly!” “While I do agree, Source wanted to take a nap. I know you hate it when your nap time is interrupted, so think about how Source would feel?” “But… a flying buddy.” “You have me, Derpy, and several of your friends from the weather team that are more than willing to fly with you, Rainbow Danger Dash.” Oh damn, Fluttershy’s going to ‘full name’ territory. What’s better is that Fluttershy just sounds like a mother scolding a child. I suppose it comes from Fluttershy being a year older than everypony in her little group of friends. “You just want to be able to outfly somepony else. Source was already a capable flying buddy, with his fire trick and his air walking spell. You just don’t want to admit that he would be too fast, or too slow depending on what he would use!” “Source said give him thirty minutes, and-” “I know. But look; would you willingly want to move with that many foals cuddling with you? I know that Source is awake, he has been. He just doesn’t want to bother the foals, and I don’t want to either!” “Ah dammit, Flutters. Why’d you give it away?” “Sorry Source, but after watching several animals sleep, in order to see healthy breathing patterns while they sleep, I can tell when somepony is awake. While napping, I’ve noticed that a pony breathes slower, whereas if you were dreaming, you’d be breathing quicker. You were breathing at a normal rate.” “...Fuck, you’re smart, Flutters,” I lifted the foals off my side, and laid them across Celly, while sticking Button to her head. My kid wrapped his paws around her muzzle, and it was fucking adorable. “Well, I did say I’d let you two try and teach me how to fly, so I might as well figure it out. Is it like the Skywalker spell? Just jump, take to the air and hope you don’t hit the ground?” “Sorta,” Fluttershy shrugged. “Rainbow would be a better teacher than me; I often don’t fly unless I need to.” “Eh, fair. Dash, how do I fly?” “Let’s work on gliding first; that’s what you’ll be doing most of the time unless you’re trying to go fast.” “Taking off is half the battle though,” I argued. “And as your totally awesome flight instructor, I will be teaching you how to glide first.” “Alright.” I hopped up in the air and started Skywalking to a higher altitude. “I suppose taking off is kinda pointless for me if I can just do this.” Fluttershy and Rainbow started hovering beside me. “So… I guess run, let go of the spell? I’ve never taught anypony to start gliding in the air already,” Dash rubbed the back of her head. I did as instructed, and stuck my wings out. Well, I would’ve if I knew how to work my wings. I just slammed, face first, into a bush. I got kinda stuck too, stuck basically on my head, while the bush’s leaves and branches were poking me in spots that I’d rather not mention, while my hindlegs stuck out of it. Luckily, my tail hid my arse, so nopony would be looking down that hole while I was like this. I felt something tug on my tail, before light blue magic cut the branches keeping me stuck. “Oh, hey Luna, fancy seeing you here.” “Are you alright, Source?” I nodded. “You don’t know how to move your wings, do you?” “Nope. if I move my wings, I’m using my horn.” Luna placed a hoof on my shoulders. “What?” She started feeling up my shoulders, before she reached around to where my shoulder blades were. She moved between them before applying pressure. My wings shot out immediately. Huh.  “Try twitching your shoulders.” I did as told, and my wings ruffled. “Now, I suppose…” She hummed. “Try moving your forelegs without moving them, if you will. Focus on your shoulders.” I did as told my wings actually flapped. “Now, practice that.” “Dangit! I was gonna let Source fall, embarrass himself, and then teach him how to use his wings!” Rainbow said, still hovering above us. Luna slowly tilted her head up with a ‘shut the fuck up’ look. Well, it was mixed with an ‘I will gut you’ look. Okay, Luna is adorkable, but she has her moments of being downright terrifying. This is one of those moments. She then turned back to me, nuzzled me and started watching me as I figured out how to consistently flap my wings. “Next,” she walked over to me and put her hooves on my right wing. “Don’t do this often, this is how you turn pegasi, and ponies with wings ‘on’, as the youth are saying. But… hold your wings like this,” she angled my wings accordingly. I shivered a little when she did. “To glide. Flap occasionally in order to stay in the air, or flap constantly to go faster. If you want to take off from the ground, flap as hard as you can. Feel free to use your fancy ‘Skywalker’ spell to aid you in this until you can do it without assistance.” Luna then blew a raspberry at Rainbow Dash, and sat back to watch me try to take off. “You got this, dude!” Tale had put his book down to watch me. Celly, who just woke up, immediately rubbed the sleep from her eyes to watch. I took a long, deep breath, and jumped with as strong of a flap as I could, moved up a couple meters, and then fell on my face. I landed head first, before flopping on my back. I rubbed the back of my head. “I can’t wait to break my face some more, woohoo!” I cheered before taking off again, and falling on my face. This repeated for a good hour or two. I don’t remember, I just remember finally getting into the air without falling on the ground. From there, figuring out how to ascend or descend wasn’t too hard. Flap wings with a slight up tilt to go down, flap wings with a slight downtilt to go up. If you want to go up or down, do the corresponding thing you need to do faster. My wings were aching a little. “Hey, this is way more fun than DragonFire!” I laughed like a little idiot as I occasionally flapped them a good twelve meters above the ground, occasionally I did dip, but that did teach me that I needed to flap a little more often in order to stay in the air. I tilted my body downward and started descending at a rate that was way quicker than I would’ve expected… Huh. If you tilt your body up or down, it’s a quicker way to go up and down in the air respectively. Good to know. I crashed into the same fucking bush I first landed in. “And…” Luna said, after pulling me out of the bush again. “Don’t land in bushes, or crash into things if you want a smooth landing. Don’t do as Rainbow Dash does while landing; she does it quickly, but for somepony as inexperienced as yourself, do not do that. You could crash and hurt yourself.” She brushed a leaf off my chest. “I’m glad you’ve learnt the basics of flying so quickly. As amusing as it would’ve been to watch you crash, it still wouldn’t have been that fun for me to watch. For future reference, try to slow yourself down before landing. Hold your wings like so,” she showed me how to hold my wings. "And you'll slow down." “Hey, I can fall and miss the ground in more ways now. Dunno how useful it’ll be to me; DragonFire is already a viable, quick means of transport for me.” “Your wings are beautiful, dear!” Celestia shouted from the piles of foals still napping away on her. Rainbow was hovering, grumbling about how she couldn’t watch me crash more, and how much better of a teacher she would’ve been.  “Oh quiet down with the cursing, will you?” Luna shouted, looking up at Rainbow Dash. “You were more interested in watching my little brother crash into the ground than you were of actually teaching him. And you had plenty of moments to watch Source face plant! I actually wanted to teach my soon to be brother in law to fly. I’ve taught a pegasus foal or two how to fly, Rainbow Dash.” “But I wanted to teach him!” “You did that poorly. You even admitted to letting him crash a few times before you taught him to use his wings!” Fluttershy whispered something, but nopony could hear what she was saying in her gentle voice. Luna lit her horn up and eyed Fluttershy. “I was going to show Source, but then Rainbow took over teaching him immediately.” Luna nodded, before rubbing my back. “Now go flex those wings for my sister; I think she will be showing you how to pleasure a pony with wings with first hoof experience when we return to Canterlot for the night.” “Uh… alright.” I walked over to where Celly was laying and stretched a wing out for her. “Mmm, I knew your wings would be rather nice. Simple, plain, lovely.” Celestia giggled. “Oh, I cannot wait to also have a ‘flying buddy’ that is somepony that isn’t just my sister. Don’t you worry your little butt, Source. I will be making you fly every morning, in an open, safe field, with me until you’ve at least grown used to flight. As much as you may not use it, knowing how to use your wings when your magic isn’t available is vital… And watching you flap your wings was rather amusing.” “Well,” I hummed. “I’m down for that. Your wings are glorious, Celly. So if I can fly with you, and watch your lovely wings flap… That will be worth the incoming wing aches I’m gonna get.” “And I will simply enjoy being able to share more of my mornings with you.” We nuzzled each other. “I suppose I shall get Luna to open her own flight school? She taught you rather quickly without flying herself.” “We should. I bet she’d be as good of a teacher as you.” “Perhaps… She did seem to take some pride in being able to teach you so quickly.” I took a nice, relaxed breath, before folding my wing up and flopping over. “My wings feel like shite, I demand… I dunno. Laying in the grass is fun.” “Do you want any leftover mashed potatoes?” Celestia lifted up the bowl that was still half-full, and immediately warmed it up in her magic. Potatoes… mashed potatoes… I am a little hungry, and mashed potato is food… I think I have a problem. Lads like me tend to have more alcohol in their systems than blood, so maybe I’m just drunk. Or maybe it’s a possible health problem from repeatedly smashing my head on the ground. I dunno. Either way, potatoes. I’ve got mashed potatoes… I lifted my snout out of the bowl and looked in it. “Where’s the potatoes?” I asked, now saddened by my severe lack of potatoes.