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// Entrance Exam 
// Story: Atychiphobia 
// by Ice Star 
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for once in my life, i had been a star
just like You
and it did not matter if i got my cutie mark
or anything short of that
because i was once the center of the world
all without You
all just to maybe one day meet You


an entire herd of unicorns
some with frowns all the way back to tall tale
stared down at me
and i know i was like a big gold star to them
way before i was here

i had been pulled through castle halls
bigger than any dream
and given to ponies who listened to me 
talk and talk and talk
about everything
that made sunset shimmer
feel like she was being picked at
with pleased smiles and bored frowns
the way i scrapped around mashed potatoes and green beans 
only now i think i was dinner

then became now
with me, 
future mage sunset shimmer
standing 
away from grandmother
and under the scribbling unicorns
who cannot see me shaking in the noonday sun

for my test
i did not have to slay a dragon
but my heart told my head that was so
even though
every light was soft and bright
grandmother sat nearby
encouraging banners were hung 
(really, only two ponies were frowning at me)
and this whole room was rainbow-bright
like somepony read my dreams
i should not feel my heart shaking in my knees
when everything had been done to make me smile

in a bowl upon a cart
fancier than grandmother's whole house
a single goldfish swims
invitingly, happily
unaware of my fear

the card next to mister fishie says:


Cast the spell needed to give this creature a mustache. Do not bring harm to the goldfish


all my thoughts were cold
and scattered
like bugs crawling 
up
and 
down
my body
icky and grosser 
making me stone-still
while my magic floated 
with the part of me that knew
just what to do

i breathed in like a big mare
ready to inhale a mountain
and thought about all my books
with every spell i ever knew
their patterns and instructions
and how much i wanted to be
big mage sunny, shining and true
the pride i could bring to me
by being the mare i wanted to see

i opened my eyes
to a fish with a mustache
and because grandmother was 
hugging me far too hard

there was no Sun Goddess
to see me into Her school
just a scroll tied with ribbon 
and much to plan