Universal Language

by David Silver


4 - Just a Chat

"Our faithful have asked." The pope looked across at the camera that broadcast him. "They have asked how these new creatures fit into the Good Book. They weren't written in there, were they? We cannot assume that, but also we cannot assume that the Good Lord didn't work through them. We are all his creations. Their relationship with him may be quite different than ours, but he looks down over each of us. And they are no exception."

He gently clasped his hands. "Let us not repeat mistakes of the past. We are meeting a new people, and they come with their hands spread wide. They ask for nothing, but offer everything. They are good Samaritans from lightyears away. It is the decision, a papal decree, that these alien people be given the chance to show their kindness."

He raised a lone finger. "We will not cast the first stone on these kind neighbors. If they wish to embrace us, and do not all our teachers insist we return the favor?" He took a slow breath. "Many of you are scared and confused, but God works in mysterious ways. Let's not turn Him away, instead we should celebrate that He acts in such a bold fashion, to send us such a clear message of favor, to all of us."


Rainbow leaned closer to her monitor as it crackled in her ear, the humans were finally setting up the communications array, and Applejack was safely with them in a controlled environment, in a suit for protection just in case the world was a bit nastier than the scientists promised.

She clapped as a hazy image appeared, slowly sharpening as the ship's computer learned to cope with what the Earth computers were generating. "AJ!"

"Howdy." AJ waved, wearing her suit. Unlike the human suits, the pony ones were closer to form fitting, not hindering her mobility much at all. "They got me in a right small place." She turned in place. "Real small. They said ah gotta hang out here fer a bit, make sure ah don't get sick, and they don't. Then they gotta see how sick anycreature gets." She rolled her eyes softly. "If they let Flutters look 'em over, it'd be fine."

Rainbow made a face. "Woowee, you look real uncomfortable, AJ. But you're gonna get to meet the bigwigs, huh? That's exciting, right? You'll be the first to get to say hi."

AJ flashed a bright smile at that. "There is that. Right lookin' forward to it. Knowin' such important things are comin' up keeps me goin'. Who woulda thought? We just met, and already, I'm gonna get to sit at the grownup's table with the world leaders?" She tipped her hat, the brim just poking into the bottom of the screen. "Makes me right proud."

Rainbow could just see her friend's blush through the helmet, and she chuckled, shaking her head. "Lucky." She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to the monitor, filling the camera. "Just, you know, be careful, okay?" Her voice dropped to a gentle concern, before bouncing back to her usual timbre. "Can they understand us yet?"

"Not even close." She reached up and tapped the side of her helmet, causing her words to be repeated in English. "Without Flutters' translators, we'd be stuck with wavin' at each other and hopin' the other picked it up. That'd be a mess! Tell her ah said thanks."

"Excuse me," asked a voice on Applejack's side. "Can we ask you a few questions?" They were, of course, speaking English, translated by the devices both Applejack and Rainbow were wearing.

AJ waved at the camera, the one she had been speaking to Rainbow through. "Talk to ya later." The conversation ended, just for the image of Rainbow to be replaced by a human. This one wasn't dressed the same way. She didn't seem to have a uniform at all. AJ blinked at the strange human. "Right nice to meetcha."

"Hey." Cindy smiled sheepishly. "First time I said hello to a space alien. You're prettier than I'd been scared of."

Applejack adjusted her hat with confusion. "Well, um, nice to hear that. Better than the alternative. Name's Applejack. Yours?"

"Cindy." Cindy hiked a thumb at herself. "I don't work here. They dragged me here, said I was 'already in contact with you', and insisted I come say hello."

Applejack considered the human curiously. "Why would they—" But it hit her. It was that creature she saw waving wildly at the probe. "It's you! Howdy there. Hope the probe wasn't too alarmin'. It was jus' gettin' a lay of the land, as it were."

Cindy relaxed at the recognition. "It surprised me, and almost got eaten by an angry bird." She considered Applejack in her suit. "Awkward question, but is that your skin, or something you're wearing? I'm not sure."

Applejack laughed gently at that. "If it makes ya feel any better, we thought the same thin'! We were mighty surprised when we got a look at one-of-ya without that whole gettup in the way." She stretched her long legs. "The real me's hidin' under the protection here. They said I'm safer with it on. I think I'm gonna get a rash." She pawed at the material, the motion blurred slightly by the distance between them, the way she moved and the thickness of her hoof-gloves. "Well, since yer here, howdy. I present warm tidin's from Equestria to you an' the rest of ya human-folk."

It was a curious thing. Cindy could hear Applejack singing her strange alien language, hauntingly mesmerizing when it wasn't interrupted by the artificial English words of translation. "Applejack, may I ask? What does the song mean?" She dug out her phone, stuck in Airplane mode, but still capable of playing the file it already had loaded. Soon, the pony song played out. "What does it mean? It isn't 'how to serve man,' I hope?"

"Ya shouldn't be worried about that." Applejack missed the reference entirely, but pushed past it all the same. "Ain't nothin' scary. What'd be the point of that? It's us celebrating the Summer Sun. We sing a real nice song, celebratin' the sun comin' up nice an' high, and that it comes up that way every day, like clockwork. 'Specially the pony responsible fer it" She snickered to herself, "Princess Celestia likes ta complain it's a load of work, but she doesn't fool anybody, least of all us."

"She controls the sun?" Cindy blinked in surprise. "What about the moon?"

Applejack looked confused, as if the question was just silly, but then it hit her. "Oh! Right. Silly me." She shook her head. "Our plannet an' yours ain't havin' the same situation. Ours needs a helpin' hand to keep thin's flowin' just right. Two ponies help with that, Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna." Applejack nodded with each name. "Nicest ponies you'll ever meet. They ain't here though. Would be rude to send them off to another world when they're needed right there. More surprisin' to me how some places work without 'em!"

"You say 'princess', but are they your queens?" She scooted closer, looking the pony over closely on the monitor on her side, peering through the glass as if it wasn't even there. "Are they in charge?"

Applejack turned an ear back. "They're in charge of the ponies. The, uh, not ponies don't always listen to her"

Cindy perked at that. "Your world has more than one thing on it, that can talk?"

"Yours don't?" It was hard to tell if Applejack was surprised, but the words gave enough context. "Shoot. We're the first other creature you done ever saw? Ah thought we were jus' the first one from another world."

Cindy shrugged easily, as if they weren't in the middle of discussing that they'd never met another alien species. "That's why it's so shocking you're here. If we knew it was possible, then there might be no surprises." Cindy glanced at the camera that faced her. There were many. Did one go to Applejack? She could not tell which went the other way. Most went to other humans, watching and listening to her conversation. "Do you think the princess will come see us? Do you think the other aliens will too? Will they be okay on Earth?"

"Probably not." AJ shrugged again, ears twitching in the helmet. "Like ah said, we need Princess Celestia and Luna right there on Equestria. Ain't nothin' mean meant in it, just need'em. Now, well, if we get along, other ponies could happen. Ain't no law 'gainst that." She raised a hoof at the camera. "You want to press hand to hoof with an alien?"

Cindy couldn't resist her smile. "Actually, yes. Yes, I would like that very much."

In another room, notes were taken furiously by two monitoring scientists. One looked to the other, speaking in a quiet murmur, "We know she can understand us, but can she really comprehend what we're saying?" He took a slow breath. "Is the AI that smart?"

"She is interpreting human concepts, which the AIs can't. The software is translating complex ideas into alien languages." The second scientist leaned in close. "I'd kill for that technology." He glanced at the other. "Figuratively speaking, of course." He set down his pen. "She is awfully relaxed, isn't she?"

The first nodded along, "They may have incredibly advanced technology, and they have come a very long way just to talk, but they have no reason to see us as a threat, right?" He closed his notebook, holding it in his lap. He started. "Wait, do you mean the alien?"

"I don't know what gender the alien has, if it even has genders we recognize. Could be like a mushroom with more than anyone wants to count." He pointed to Cindy. "Her." He tapped the pad he was making notes on. "She doesn't seem at all concerned to be in there chatting away." He scoffed at that. "We haven't even heard her talk before this. She just stumbled on a probe that was designed for interplanetary communication, and got to talking with the aliens."

The other scribbled something new. "She was in the right place, at the right time. We're just as lucky. They aren't hiring many for our position, you know that."

"True." He folded his hands together. "Damn true. Wish I could go in there. I have so many questions."

"They only sent her in there hoping she'd get them to drop their guard, and it's working. She's already got them spilling information everywhere."

"She isn't exactly hiding, so far I've seen." He reached out, turning up the volume on Cindy and Applejack. "They haven't been hiding anything we've been able to see."

"Which is why we keep looking." They resumed their notes. "That's our job."

Cindy was joyfully unaware of that conversation. "May I ask, your voice, the English one, it sounds like a woman, a female. Are you that? Do you know what that is?"

Applejack blinked softly, almost hidden by her visor. "Oh, um. Well, shoot. If yer askin' if I can, you know, incubate a little me, um." She reached back, rubbing her lower back end gently. "Ah could, if I found a fittin' other pony to do that with. Um, how 'bout you? You a lady?"

"Lady." Cindy waved over herself. "Picking out ladies with humans is easy, hirrah sexual dimorphism. Females tend to have more fat up here." She gestured up towards her chest, then down around her hips. "Usually rounder around here. Our voices are higher, relatively, and we're smaller, usually. Again, all averages. There are big ladies and small guys, happens. Luck of the draw. Now you can try to tell us apart."

Applejack reached up towards the camera Cindy could see her through. "Thanks fer sharin'. Seriously, you don't seem so nervous like most of ya. Hope they let me outta here soon, so we can meet proper-like."

"I am, but I'm excited too." She pressed a hand to her chest. "I've been reading books my whole life. Meeting a real alien was something I could only dream of, but it was like a joke, because no one could figure out how to get here in my lifetime." She pointed up at the imagined stars. "To the cosmos, other worlds. We've only just confirmed there are infinite of them. We like to imagine there's life up there, but we haven't found a hint, until you all started singing at us."