Site Post » SA Reviews #77 · 3:02am Feb 14th, 2016
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
“Has anybody seen TOM?” Red asked, poking his head into the Seattle’s Angels sitting room.
“Tom? Who’s that?” Plum asked around the Montecristo No. 2 Single in his mouth, shaking out his newspaper.
“No, not Tom, TOM. It’s an acronym,” Red answered. “Tired Old Man. You have to say it in all caps or it’s wrong.”
“Acronyms are for robots. Is he a robot?” asked BP, crunching a crystal of unobtainium between his teeth.
“You shouldn’t… build… robo. Things,” said CSquared, distracted by her virtual reality headset. “They stain your teeth or something.”
“No,” Red said, glancing back and forth. “Definitely not a robot. He’s one of the new reviewers. Pretty sure he knocked on the door so long he gave up and slipped his reviews underneath.” He held up a sheaf of papers in his little paws. “It’s blizzarding out there.”
“Jolly good,” said Plum, putting his feet up on a stool in front of the fire. “Uh, pip and toodle, etc., give him Alex’s old bunk. That Trixie animatronic was exorcised from there, right?”
ROUND 77
Prince Blueblood, distant but traceable blood relative of Princess Celestia, lives as a tool of Equestrian society. He views his very existence as a debt he must pay, with few career options other than civil service. Fortunately, an attorney's duties suit him.
He believes in Equestrian society, for better or for worse. In his opinion, changelings rank among the "worse". So when the commander of the Wonderbolts accuses one of murdering Rainbow Dash, he sees his involvement as foreordained, especially once a Princess signs on to oppose him with revenge on her mind.
He is also widely seen as an extreme narcissist, only tolerated because of his link to Celestia. But many things are not as they seem.
Ah, Blueblood. You’re the only pony with a face anyone would love to punch other than Flash Sentry, and certainly know how to make a ‘good’ first impression, considering said impression put a doting mare through a living nightmare.
Except It’s A Wonderful Case went out of its way to turn him into so much more than just some garish fop. And if this is how he really is, I would wholeheartedly reject my initial impression of him.
I should start with the story, however. Rainbow Dash is dead, and a changeling is responsible for her death. Blueblood, by pure accident, signs on to defend the changeling while a certain friend of the deceased takes up the prosecuting reins.
It sounds simple at first glance, but of course, many things are not what they seem. The story does introduce quite a few twists into it that will make the ending a surprise for some readers, but it’s not a locked-room mystery or anything extremely complex. That stated, those with a keen eye can solve the case as fast as Blueblood does, if not faster.
Speaking of Blueblood, he is the real big highlight of this story. He’s a noble, that much is true, but the way he speaks, what he does, how he understands the cogs and mechanisms of nobility… the intricacy in his characterization is something I quite admire here. Particularly, it’s the way he handles himself around other nobles in a certain scene of the story where he pretends to be just as false and snooty as those around him, only to use that as a front to figure out who the truly despicable souls are that could use some well-deserved education courtesy of his great distant aunt. Just imagining Celestia’s lecture to those awful ponies gives me goosebumps. But, uh, the good tingly feeling kind.
Although this story doesn’t delve super deep into how Blueblood functions, what I do learn is much like consuming a tasty, fancy one-bite hors d'oeuvre: delicious, elegant, and leaves me hungry for more.
You know what I like? I like Blueblood. I like his goofiness, his utter incompetence, and the way he’s just not really good at anything, at least from what we know. But it’s also nice to see stories that utterly subvert that, and still make you feel like the character hasn’t been done a disservice.
This story turns most expectations of Blueblood on their heads and is totally unapologetic about it. In this version of Equestria, Blueblood is in fact essential to holding together the high society of Canterlot - simultaneously inextricable from it, and despising it all at once. He handles this dissonance with dry wit and detached, above-it-all dispassion, which helps when Rainbow Dash has apparently been murdered by a changeling and he’s called to her defense, opposite Twilight Sparkle herself.
This story doesn’t delve too much into the “mystery” aspect of a court drama, instead focusing on building the character of Blueblood, which it does particularly well. Everything is neatly packaged, quickly summarized, and easily digestible, which is essential for people who don’t want to slog through a convoluted whodunit. It’s this version of Blueblood, and how he sees Canterlot and Equestrian society as a whole, which is the star here. It’s an interesting take on why Equestrian nobility is so, well, silly. The story gently and gingerly touches on issues of class and racism, but they’re quickly left behind, but that’s no crime since it would detract from the light, humorous tone of the story. The best part is, this feels only like one tale of many that our taciturn Prince has experienced, and could easily become part of an anthology if the author were so inclined. It’s that feeling of you wanting more that really takes the cake.
STORY 2
The One Week Year, by HapHazred
Wheatland farms: the greatest source of food in Equestria. The ponies of Fillydelphia rely on it for bread, bakery products, and hay.
When a freak wildfire takes out an entire season's worth of crops, things are dire. The ponies of Fillydelphia are facing starvation.
Applejack hatches a daring plan. Accelerate the weather around her orchard, rushing through Winter, Spring, Summer, and Autumn, and reap another harvest in time before Fillydelphia's stocks run out. There's just one problem: all she has is a week.
For this to work, she needs a pegasus. Specifically, she needs a pegasus as nuts as her...
How much can you get done in a week? Build a fence? Sort through piles upon piles of paperwork in your office? Clean your house top to bottom until not a single dust bunny takes even a speck of residence?
I could spend an entire week talking about this story, and still not say enough about how much I thoroughly enjoyed… everything. And yet I have to condense all of that into something that won’t take a week long to read. CAN I DO IT?!
Yes. Yes I can.
To start, I could mistake this story as a canon episode that took place and be none the wiser--that is the level of detail paid attention to the characters, setting, and plot structure. Except this goes the extra mile by not only showing high regard for all of the material it uses. It is smart with its use as well, and that’s something you’ll notice early on in the story, during the fastest Winter Wrap Up you’re going to read.
Not a single character addition over the course of the week feels out of place or awkward in introduction, even as the circumstances continue to escalate away from Applejack’s favor. When all hope is lost, the right characters come in to make the seemingly impossible possible for each day to end a success. Yet there is no neglect for the strenuous effort put forth by everypony involved to make it to that success either--even as they’re shifted into the herd of helping ponies, their contributions never diminish, and certainly aren’t forgotten.
By the time the story reaches its conclusion, there’s a profound sense of that ending being well and truly earned, with the final obstacle quite seriously throwing everything but the kitchen sink in stopping their tireless efforts. Heck, you might even feel as exhausted as they are by the end… or maybe that’s just me.
Also, did I mention there’s Appledash shipping? That’s also in here, and it’s adorable. I, uh, probably should have mentioned that first.
Anyway, go read this. If you want a story that is decidedly Pony, this will do it in spades.
I don’t usually go for inter-Mane Six shipping, but when it’s packaged realistically in a great story that provides both knee-slapping good world building and tight, smart storytelling, even I’ll be sold on it. I know AppleDash had quite a heyday when the fandom was young, so for its fans, this will be a grand return to it.
What makes this story stand out from all the others is that it allows a romance to develop organically - a wonderful coincidence given this story is about how Applejack has to round up a posse to grow an entire harvest in the space of a week to solve a food shortage. Rainbow Dash is enlisted along with many others, and this epic challenge means they both have to muster their strengths and go beyond their weaknesses, making them realize how complementary and dedicated they are to their professions. They come to appreciate each other so much more by seeing each other in action, and our appreciation grows alongside theirs. Slowly but surely, like the apples that come to bloom, the shipping does too. It isn’t forced, it isn’t shoved into the spotlight, and it most importantly does not take the place of the actual story. It’s a big branch of the plot tree, but only a branch it remains, and that makes it better. This, people, is how to get a good relationship started in fiction.
Apart from that, however, I must mention the world building. This story presents a challenge that not only feels natural for Rainbow Dash and Applejack, but for Equestrian and pony magic as a whole. It’s a ridiculous premise, recreating an entire harvest season in a week, but it works, and it works because it’s so darn pony. This is an “episode story,” one that could fit firmly in the weekly slot without feeling totally out of place. Nothing that happens is overblown or inconsistent with pony magic as we see in the show, and all the pitfalls they experience feel natural too. There’s a particularly great section involving Pinkie Pie wrangling her family in to help, and it’s lovely because it’s silly yet still so in-character not just for Pinkie but the entire MLP universe. That, more than anything else, sums up the story as a whole.
What joy, I've a treat for you:
A lovely warm dinner of Scootaloo stew.
It’s sweet and delicious,
I'm so sinfully kind.
I left in the hooves,
I hope you don’t mind.
Boy, am I hungry. Are you? Then sit down, have a bowl of fresh soup and some ice-cold pink lemonade. I promise you, they’re perfectly safe to eat. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have to make such a promise for a meal like this, but after reading this spooky little tale, I feel obligated in stating that all of my food contains no ponies in it whatsoever. Not a single hoof or strand of hair.
But according to Rainbow Dash, her frowny-faced aunt could turn poor, misbehaving little fillies and foals into some of the most questionable of edibles, and in one case a most morbid clock. In case that wasn’t enough, they get their own sing-song rhymes that tell the horrific tales of their sweet, savory, and timely fates. I won’t lie, there’s some very creative imagination at play here, and the words Rainbow says as she recalls these horror stories simply ooze with mean spirit.
Poor Scootaloo. With each story she hears, the more she shakes and quivers with fear the farther she’s strung along by her adopted sister. Her imagination, much like mine, vividly painted the images from Rainbow’s descriptions. Although I added appropriate cracks of thunder when Rainbow finished her stories, even if the weather wasn’t that stormy. Call me a sucker for that tired old cliche all you like, it added some mood for me.
Getting to the point, this story’s got grim on a silver platter. Auntie Cloud likes her plates cleaned, so do yourself a favor and eat up every last bite of this story… or else you might end up on her menu next.
Or she’ll turn you into a toaster or some other appliance she needs. I would personally prefer to be a rolling pin.
If there’s one thing we’ve learned about fanfiction, it’s that writing about ponies being cute with each other trumps everything. So say what you will about Rainbow’s qualifications as a big sister, writing about her being cute with Scootaloo is usually a recipe for a good fic.
This one doesn’t disappoint. While visiting relatives Rainbow Dash resorts to that time-honored sibling tradition of scaring the bejesus out of youngsters, in this case her adopted sister Scootaloo. We’re treated to a little vignette of nursery rhymes Rainbow Dash makes up about her “evil, foal-eating aunt”, which are quite clever and fun to read in their own right. I have no objections with this story, as it’s completely unobjectionable, with a lot of children’s book vibe to it in the vein of Shel Silverstein. The rhymes are fun and enjoyably gruesome in the way little kids love to hear, the interaction between sisters well-told even if it’s a little thin, and the very idea a good fit into MLP canon. Now if only we could get Hasbro to release some real Silversteinish kid’s books, we’d be golden, but this will serve well in its absence.
The dreams of ponies are strange and unpredictable beasts. Even with Princess Luna guarding their sleep from nightmares, ponies, like many creatures, are prone to dreams that make little sense to the minds of the awake.
One night, Rumble sleeps. He has such a dream.
And when he awakes, he finds himself compelled by it.
Dreams are weird. They can be real, and yet not. They can tell you something, or nothing at all. But if there’s one thing they are, it’s consistent in some fashion. Much as the moon rises and falls, the ebb and flow of the ocean tides follow suit.
I don’t dream of beaches much these days (heck, I haven’t set foot in on a beach in years), but Sleep refreshed my memory of what it’s like to be there in the peak of Summer. The detail Rumble recalls as he describes where he is is honed down to a fine print, establishing his enjoyment of the location firmly. The setting is certainly the most grounded thing for a story that takes place in his dream.
Heh, grounded. For a story about a pegasus. Ahem, a-anyway...
Who he’s with, however, is where things begin to muddle. Her name lies on the tip of his tongue, bearing a face with certain details he can’t recall. But she’s orange, blinks with beautiful eyes and has a lovely smile--and before anyone starts, she is NOT Scootaloo. This story’s pretty firm on that. I checked. And double-checked.
Beyond the introduction, there isn’t much I can say that the story won’t handily throw at you as the imagery perplexes and confounds with more than enough left open to interpretation. What does matter in the end is that Rumble takes a chance, a slim chance that may never amount to anything.
But I hope it does. I hope that there’s another that dreams of beaches. Maybe I should sleep on a beach. Sleep sounds nice right about now.
Stories about dreams are hard to come by, and stories about dreams that are just that are even rarer. Many authors choose to make dreams very plot-oriented, basically spelling out what characters and readers need to know in a surreal landscape that isn’t supposed to make any sense without deep reflection - sometimes it’s not supposed to make sense at all.
So I have to applaud the risk this story takes in relaying a dream little Rumble has that barely makes any sense whatsoever. And that’s it. Rumble has a dream, and wrangles with whether or not it means anything. But we’re not here to actually pick through a pegasus foal’s mind, we’re here for the truly dreamy, engaging set piece presented in the fic. There’s a lot of talk of a mysterious filly who Rumble seems to know but doesn’t, and beaches, and sleeping on beaches, but the point of this fic, I feel, is not so much to tell the story as to get you lost in the feeling the story gives you. In this it succeeds quite well, making sure to keep what could be called a narrative thread running through it with repeated imagery and lines, while still maintaining the floaty, disjointed nature of a dream.
This is the kind of story you’d read before you go to bed, or maybe just after waking up and need something to get you in particular mindset. That it was inspired by a real-life song doesn’t detract from it.
“So, it’s like this,” explained Red as the door swung open, to reveal TOM standing in knee-high snow, a pen still clutched in his near-frozen fingers. “There was a, um, a fire, and you know how weird that is in the middle of winter, so we were so distracted we couldn’t even get the door open!”
“Fire good,” said TOM. “Less talking, more fire.”
“Yeah, well, just be glad you weren’t the last guy,” Red said with a sympathetic shrug as he slowly shoved the TOM-sicle through the doorway. “He came in a box.”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Huh never heard of this group until just now... might as well see about it then
Hooray for Sleep!
Ooooo.
One Week Year was bloody brilliant.
Reminded me so much of Rainbow Typhoon which I positively adored. And it placed it the respective contest, if I recall correctly.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3752593 Sleep is good and all, but I must fuel my pony addiction! What do you mean not healthy? I've never heard more bull in my life! Well except that time I marched with a herd of cattle. I made so moony puns you couldn't count them, I milked it for all it was worth. I could keep going, but I'll let you stay sane. No one deserves the kind of suffering endless puns bring. No one.
Who let all these new guys in? Next thing you know, we'll be picking up randoms off the street!
3752801 You already picked up a random rock off the street!
I'd say you're way past that point by now.
New reviewer every week? I wonder how long that will last.
3752987
Not long. We grabbed a handful of new members a couple months back, and have just been slowly introducing them since
3753266 Keep crushing my dreams, that's fine.
Yes, good job, Badger! Sleep was an incredible triumph, and I'm so glad it got reviewed and recommended.
What? No! It stands for Toonami Operations Module. I've typed that acronym over a thousand times.
Yes, he is. Thank-you, BP.
Trixie Lulamoon will appear in Five Nights at Freddy's 5. And yes, contrary to what Scott Cawthon says, you know damn well there's going to be a FNaF5.
3752801
Hold that thought...
3753873
Actually, if the group's members list is a reliable indicator, they should be fresh out of new reviewers. At this point, all that should be left is that whole temp reviewer thing they debuted back in November-ish, and that's pretty situational.
with how fast you
killinjure them, I'd say it's time to visit the hospital/taxidermist you use, and confirm that he has enough time for all these new reviewers.Ooh, neato. I'm in here.
That's new.
I guess I should check out the others, then, if I can manage. They sound like good fun!