Story Reviews » SA: Round 173 · 6:37pm Jun 27th, 2020
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It was, thought the duck, a very nice day. From her spot in the reedy pond, the short-cropped field of grass stretched out in the rising summer sun, a vast expanse of green surrounded by thin woods. Fat, lethargic clouds hung in the air with the idle threat of rain.
She was, all things considered, a lucky duck.
A faint noise caught her attention, some sort of animalistic sound from the woods on the opposite end of the field. Far away from her, and probably nothing. The duck settled back down into the water, relaxing.
Something very fast and very round came hurtling towards her, and the duck squawked and took flight as the object impacted the water.
There came a whirring sound over the field, and before long, an electric cart crested the hill.
“You can take a mulligan!” shouted Intern over the cart and the rattling of the clubs behind them. They pulled to a stop beside the water hazard.
Floydien sighed and walked to his bag. “No, this always happens,” he said, retrieving an extra ball.
“Suit yourself.” Intern opened the other bag, retrieved a set of papers, and squared up to the ball that was not underwater. “Four!” said Intern, remaining perfectly still.
“You, uh… you’re supposed to—”
“No, no, ‘four.’ As in the number of reviews we’ve got,” Intern said, brandishing the papers to Floydien.
ROUND 173
STORY 1
Mythic Dawn, by MagnetBolt
Luster Dawn is Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal student, but she really needs to get away from those dusty old books and do some field work! Clearly the best thing to do is to send her to manage the Summer Sun Celebration and... wait, this is starting to seem familiar.
This is a really interesting fic that mirrors the two-part pilot of the actual show. Stop me if this sounds familiar: Twilight sends her booksmart student to Ponyville to take charge of Summer Sun Celebration preparations and make some friends.
And, like the original pilot, there is a lot of worldbuilding that is incredibly fascinating, and the characters are rich and dynamic, and the plot is so interesting, and before you know it, it’s two in the morning and you’ve watched twelve episodes in a row. Or, in this case, binged the entire story.
Much as I love the worldbuilding on display here, the characters are the real superstars of this story. Not only Luster Dawn, but all of her new friends as well (Arteria is my favorite). One chapter is devoted to each of the main characters with an overarching narrative tying them all together, though you’d be forgiven for thinking each chapter stands more or less on its own when the story begins.
Add in smart, funny prose and a genuinely good message, and it is a travesty that this story does not have more views.
I’ve been a big fan of MagnetBolt for years now, so it makes me really excited to feature one of their stories. Our pick explores the years following Twilight’s new role as ruler and how she wants her student, Luster, to get away from all that studying. What better way to do that than get Luster to manage the Summer Sun Celebration?
Yes, this is covering familiar territory, but trust me, it’s got plenty of unique elements to keep it fresh. Over the course of the story, Luster meets new characters to bond with, some of whom aren’t even ponies themselves. Each new character gets plenty of time to be introduced and developed, leading into a finale that raises the question of what happens when not everypony is happy with the change in rulership.
And it’s not just new characters that are fleshed out. Twilight’s school is ever present and MagnetBolt goes into some of the inner workings, such as how Trixie’s role as counselor has panned out. Her chapter helping a kelpie is really entertaining and works its way into the main narrative with a humorous bent.
There’s a lot here to love and talk about, but I need to stop so that you can go read it yourselves. I’m a fan of the “What if” but I also like to see how a story continues after its conclusion. This one fills both those nitches quite nicely!
It’s the week before the Canterlot wedding and tensions are high, even more so for the changeling love collectors. With the results of the wedding, life is going to change drastically, regardless of the outcome.
For one co-owner of the Sweet Roast Cafe, wife to a loving stallion, and undercover changeling, Sweet Leaf can only hope this change is kind.
What happened to all of the other changelings, already fully integrated into pony society across Equestria, when the royal wedding happened?
This fic delivers an answer, and how it delivers indeed. All of the small details and tiny flourishes of style come together very well in not only the lead-up to the wedding, but also the aftermath and all that it entails.
I found the ending somewhat predictable, but genuinely enjoyable and entirely natural thanks to how connected I felt to Sweet Leaf and her circumstances (not as unusual as one would think in this world). The worldbuilding here, both as relating to changelings as a whole and Sweet Leaf’s life in particular, really fleshes out the story and is a textbook example of how fanfiction enhances the original media in a creative, personal way.
Give this one a read if you are a fan of changelings, character studies, or coffee.
One of the biggest gifts to the fandom was the introduction of changelings. They exploded in popularity when it came to fan created content, fanfiction included. So many theories on how they function and live within the My Little Pony world have been created around them and now Azure Notion throws in their version.
I really adored the setup for this one. A routine changeling infiltration is going very well. Love is being gathered and nopony expects anything to be off with the cute barista, Sweet Leaf. We follow her little world and how it relates to other changelings in the area. She’s content to let things stay the way they are. Then the wedding happens.
What follows is mass uncertainty for the undercover changeling, not knowing how this will affect things. I really grew to love her and her plight. The stakes are high and I wasn’t able to stop reading until I reached the end.
This is the kind of thing fanfiction was made for, to expand what the canon gives us. A story about the everyday normalities being upended by the big events from the show. And hey, if you end up enjoying this one, the author has started a sequel!
STORY 3
Silent Night, by Fabby
Apple Bloom can't fall asleep. The house is making those noises again, the ones it only makes when she's home alone.
This is a mood.
In all seriousness, this is a great example of how to create mood in a story. The creepiness level just rises and rises with each paragraph, thanks to three things Fabby excels at here: diction, sentence flow, and pointed descriptors. It is incredible how much more tense each consecutive sentence makes you, how much you immediately empathize with Apple Bloom.
While the ending may not jive with everyone, I personally enjoyed it and what it might imply about Equestria at large. Give this a read if you like horror or atmospheric pieces.
Oh, I’ve been there. Awake at night, the absolute stillness of the air. How every minor sound is the coming of some great evil that will devour you in your own bed. Unless you pull the covers over yourself. Everyone knows that’s the ultimate protection.
However, this is Equestria, and odd noises can mean way more than just the house settling on its foundation. Apple Bloom experiences this the hard way. More than just bumps in the night are at play here. And that blood red moon is also very suspicious.
I loved the atmosphere of this one. I really felt the dread building and building as the climax approached. This one’s a good read if you want to feel that unworldliness of being half-asleep and not being able to fully wake up. Perhaps don’t read it before going to bed, though...
STORY 4
Stagnancy, by PegasusMesa
Rainbow Dash has a wonderful life. A great job, wonderful friends, and a beautiful mare she loves to come home to. At least, she used to love coming home to her.
What do you do when it feels like the chain has slipped in your relationship? Rainbow Dash doesn't know, and until she finds out, her wonderful life isn't quite as wonderful as it seems.
Rainbow Dash isn’t exactly known for sounding resigned to anything, so why doesn’t she want to go home?
This fic explores a profoundly relatable set of circumstances that any one of us might very easily find themselves an unwitting part of. Cold in Gardez’ short bio reads: “Stories about ponies are stories about people,” and I can hardly think of a more apt line to describe this story.
The highlight here is not only the well-written characters—Rainbow reminds me a lot of Charlie Brown from Peanuts, with Rarity as a more grounded Linus—but their interaction as doctor and patient, as confidantes, and, of course, as friends. It’s a refreshing take on a very old premise and definitely worth a read.
Sometimes, you find yourself in a funk that you just don’t know how to break out of. Ignoring it doesn’t help and confronting your feelings reveals some uncomfortable truths. Good thing Rainbow Dash has got a good friend to pull her out of it.
The bulk of the story centers around Rainbow and Rarity having a discussion. What I love here is Rarity’s wonderful way of pinning down the problem Rainbow Dash is having. A little misdirection here, a little reverse psychology there. Looks like her detective skills have evolved to include amature therapy sessions.
Twilight could probably learn a thing or two here.
But that’s another story entirely. Here, we get to see Rarity at some of her best as she helps Rainbow work through her problem. If you’re in the mood to see how somepony can get inside others’ heads, then you’ll be delighted with this!
Floydien slumped in his chair. “It wasn’t even close.”
“Well,” Intern began, looking around the clubhouse from where he was leaning on the window sill, “I have to admit, I’ve never seen anyone get double-digits on all eighteen. That has to count for something!”
“Maybe,” said Floydien, sipping at his chocolate milk on the rocks. “By the way, you may want to change your socks. It looks like you’ve—”
Without warning, he slid on a pair of sunglasses.
“—Got a hole in one.”
Intern paused, staring at his socks. “I don’t think—”
“Then how did you get your foot in?!”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Another day, another dollar.
SA has done its jobs, leading people to good stories they had missed. I read Mythic Dawn, and it was a lot of fun!
Thanks for these reviews guys!! Y’all are awesome.
