Rarity knew it was coming. With Sunset fully recovered, physically at least, Rarity had figured it would only be a matter of time before Sunset would want to apologize to each of them fully and extensively. But Rarity knew she didn't want some huge tearfest. The truth was, she now considered Sunset to be a friend. A good friend. She didn't want Sunset to cry, or abase herself, or some such. Sunset had already changed so much, and her nightmares (with which Rarity was intimately acquainted) alone were enough to convince Rarity of the horror and sorrow with which Sunset regarded her former life. She knew Sunset was sorry. Sorry didn't begin to describe it.
So, when Sunset asked her to go shopping Sunday afternoon, Rarity had regarded the outing with less excitement and more trepidation than she would have preferred. Still, Rarity had emotional intelligence in spades. She knew it wouldn't be fair to Sunset to totally short-circuit the apology either. Sunset felt guilty, and she would need to express her guilt to be fully freed from it, and that is what Rarity wanted. For Sunset to be free. Rarity could not know that Applejack had come to the same conclusions as Sunset had tried to apologize to her less than 24 hours before.
And so here they sat, in Rarity's convertible, as they pulled into a parking space at the mall. Rarity could tell out of the corner of her eye that Sunset was nervous. She hadn't said much during the drive, and the few things she had said had been slightly awkward. Poor dear, thought Rarity. I think I know what to do. Both of us, but especially she, will enjoy this day a lot more if we just get it out of the way.
As Sunset reached for her backpack and the door handle, Rarity said, "Darling, stop for a moment."
Sunset froze. She slowly looked over at Rarity, who was smiling at her gently.
"Sunset. I think I know what you’re planning to do today."
Sunset's eyes fell.
"Darling, it's ok. There's nothing to be afraid of. I already know how sorry you are. I already know you would undo it all if you could. And I already forgive you. Completely."
Sunset's eyes were wet already. "Huh, that's almost exactly the same thing Applejack said yesterday. You guys are incredible," she said in a shaky voice.
"Then I find myself in good company. Sunset, you are my friend now. I...don't need a pound of flesh from you." Rarity's smile faded. "I...it makes me sad when you cry. I don't want you to be sad anymore."
One of the corners of Sunset's mouth turned up a bit. She took a breath as if to say something, but Rarity wasn't finished.
"Listen. I know you need to say some things. I know it will help. But know before you even start that it's going to be all right. And let's get this done so we can move forward and enjoy our day! I'm really looking forward to shopping with you!" Rarity finished as her smile returned.
Sunset closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Rarity...I'm sorry I sabotaged you at the Spring Fling last year. I...hate what I did. And..."—here Sunset's tears began to fall in earnest—“I’m sorry for damaging your friendship with the others, and for the time you've lost with them because of me. And most of all, I'm so, so sorry for attacking you last month when you tried to protect Twilight! You're right! I would undo it all if I could!" she sobbed.
Rarity reached across the car and pulled Sunset into an embrace. "Sweet girl, you know I forgive you," she said softly. "Oh Sunset, it's all over now. It's in the past. Everything is ok now, I promise."
But Sunset continued. "I know there's nothing I can do to make up for what I've done..."
"You don't have to..." Rarity started to say reassuringly.
"But there is one thing I can do, and that I want to do, to at least try to make things right."
Confused, Rarity pulled back a bit so she could look at Sunset.
Sunset turned and picked up her backpack. She unzipped the main compartment and pulled out a circular object wrapped in tissue paper. "Please take this, Rarity. It belongs rightfully to you." And she placed the object in Rarity's hands.
Rarity truly had no idea what the object was. Carefully, she pulled the tissue paper away to reveal the crown from the last Spring Fling. Her breath caught in her throat. Her vision blurred with tears. A single great sob worked its way up out of her chest and she put her hand over her mouth to try, unsuccessfully, to keep it in. She looked up at Sunset, her eyes wide and her mouth open, but she could not find words.
"Do...do you like it?" Sunset asked uncertainly. "I asked Celestia about it—about if it would be a good thing to give it to you—and she said it would be very good. Right, even. She and I talked, and there's going to be a ceremony. At school. She will officially crown you the winner of the last Spring Fling, because I'll be disqualified for cheating. I want to give Lyra my Fall Formal crown from sophomore year, too."
Rarity had no idea what to say. At length, because nothing occurred to her, and because Sunset was starting to look worried, she said, "I don't know what to say, Sunset. Please, just give me a couple minutes." She put the crown down, almost reverently, and took Sunset's hand to let her know she wasn't upset, at least. Then she turned her head and looked out the window for a couple minutes.
Sunset just looked down at her free hand.
Finally Rarity looked back at Sunset. "Sunset. This is without a doubt the sweetest, most heartfelt, most genuine apology I've ever experienced or even heard of. Do you realize how far you've come? Darling, not 5 weeks ago..." Rarity threw her free hand up in the air, unable to fully describe the contrast. "I promise I fully forgave you even before you gave me this crown, but now I truly understand how much you want to make things right."
Sunset seemed relieved. She allowed one corner of her mouth to turn up slightly again.
Rarity had realized something, though, and she needed to ask Sunset about it.
"Darling, I must ask you something. I think there might be something you're not telling us. No one goes from who you were to who you are now in so short a time. I'm not saying I don't believe it, just that I think there's another piece to the puzzle. I want to understand, Sunset. I respect your privacy—you know you don't have to tell me—but I'm asking you to. Please, help me understand."
Sunset didn't look up immediately. When she did, Rarity almost shot across the car to scoop Sunset into a hug again, so forlorn and full of sorrow were her eyes. They were a ghost of how they had looked when she had crawled out of the crater, and Rarity almost couldn't bear it.
"Oh darling, I'm so sorry. This was a bad idea..."
"No, it's ok," said Sunset quietly. "I haven't told the five of you before because I was worried you'd feel bad about it. I'm still worried about that. Oh Rares, if I tell you, promise me you won't feel guilty or something. Please!"
"So there is something. Very well, I will do my best."
Sunset closed her eyes. Then she began. "I've heard from the others that the whole thing — the Rainbow Wave, that is — lasted only a minute or so. Was that what it seemed like to you?"
Rarity thought. "Yes, that does sound about right. It really was over rather quickly."
"Not for me," Sunset said simply, shaking her head.
Rarity swallowed. She felt a deep sense of foreboding coming over her. "You mean...a different amount of time passed for you?"
"Yes."
"…Oh no." said Rarity, frowning.
"I'm not sure how long it was — several hours, probably more. But it was long enough!" Sunset paused. Most of the color had left her face. She continued. "During that time, I got to re-experience every unkind, awful thing I'd done since I came here from Equestria right up until the night of the Fall Formal – almost two and a half years' worth. Every single thing. But I re-experienced it from the other person's perspective. I literally felt their pain. Even yours, Rarity. All without a break or pause. I'll never forget the agony. Never."
Rarity's eyes were wide with something close to horror.
“That’s right, Rarity,” Sunset continued quietly. “I know how much it hurt when I sabotaged you at the Fling. I know exactly how much. I know where you fled to, and I know how long you cried. I know.”
Rarity was just shaking her head, totally stunned.
"But that wasn't even the end of it. After that, I was made to feel what it felt like to have friends — to have deep, meaningful, positive relationships with others. Specifically, I felt what it was like to be part of your circle of friends, Rarity. And then I felt that feeling go away, because I wasn't part of it. I was only left with the memory and thus the desire of it. And I wanted it, Rarity! I wanted it so badly. And I couldn't ignore it! I had to face how lonely I truly was!"
Rarity was speechless for a time, but tears were running down her face. Then, she found her voice. "Sunset, that sounds almost like...torture!"
"That's why I haven't told you or the others before now. I wasn't able to explain why it wasn't torture. But lately I've come to understand. Listen, Rares, this is crucial. You wanted to understand too, so here's the truth. Not only did I deserve every second of it, I needed every second. Because at first I fought it. Tooth and nail I fought it, first out of just plain evil and nastiness, later out of sheer terror, but in the end, because it was so relentless, I had to face it. I had to face, and admit, how much I had hurt others, how lonely I was, and what I'd become. That was when the remorse came, and the regret."
Rarity didn't know what to say, but she was holding both of Sunset's hands now.
"I think...this is why I might be 'further along' than someone like me would ordinarily be after such a short time. That's what Celestia and Luna think, anyway."
“That certainly makes sense to me, and I think I agree. Actually a lot of things make more sense now. But we must tell the others, darling. Not only do they have a right to know, but it will help them understand. We knew you’d been through a lot in the last 5 weeks, but now we know that it’s even more than we thought.” Rarity deflated a bit. “Darling, you must be so tired.”
“I was, but I’m not that tired any more. Really. I think...” Sunset paused as she squirmed a little in her seat; she was actually feeling warm and fuzzy. “I think you all caring for me and being such good friends to me is…helping me to recover. It’s giving me strength. Healing me. Does that sound crazy? I mean, the Rainbow Wave left me craving friendship, but I never dreamed I would get so much of it so quickly. It’s…such a relief.”
“That doesn’t sound crazy at all. After all this, it would hardly be the least believable thing.” Suddenly Rarity realized why Sunset had reacted so intensely to her suggestion in the library earlier in the week – her suggestion about imagining what others would feel if Sunset was mean to them. There could not have been a more effective, but more distressing, suggestion. “Oh, darling – when I made that suggestion in the library, and you reacted so intensely, I didn’t know…”
“It’s ok, Rares. You were right. You were totally right, and it really was a good suggestion – it’s helping a lot.”
“Well, I’m glad of that, but I wish I’d known…I’d have been able to be more gentle. It sounded so off-hand!”
“Thanks. I know you didn’t mean to sound that way.”
Rarity sighed. “So this is what you were talking about in the library, wasn’t it? The thing you wanted to tell me later, after you’d sorted it out.” Rarity’s eyes widened again. “And the nightmare, right? The one you didn’t want to tell me about!”
“Yeah, this was it. And I guess you’re right. I really do have to tell them all,” Sunset said unhappily.
“I know you’re not looking forward to it, but it really will help.”
Sunset didn’t answer. She just sat quietly, looking at her hands.
Rarity smiled at her, and reached out and gently rubbed her shoulder. “Come on. Enough sadness. You’ve done an epically sweet thing for me today, which is something to be proud of. Also, I was really looking forward to shopping with you. Let’s go, ok?”
Sunset looked up at her, and then smiled back slowly. “Ok. I was looking forward to it too.”
Although it took them a while to shake off the seriousness of their previous conversation, Rarity and Sunset ended up having a wonderful time. Rarity even convinced Sunset to purchase a new cyan-colored dress and a slightly darker pair of leggings, and showed her some boots and a new leather jacket that would go with them. Sunset said she’d have to save up for those, but she was clearly pleased with the look that would result. The dress was very feminine, with a gauzy frill around the hem and around each shoulder.
As they walked back to Rarity’s car, Rarity again brought up the matter of telling the other girls about the extent of Sunset’s ordeal during the Rainbow Wave.
“I think we should tell them as soon as possible, darling. And I say ‘we’, because you won’t be doing it alone.”
Sunset didn’t look very excited.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have it off your chest? They would want to know.”
Sunset sighed. “You’re right. Maybe we can tell them when we meet them at Sugarcube Corner in a bit?”
“I think that’s a pretty good idea, though I would understand if you would want to do it somewhere a bit more private.”
“The Corner won’t be that busy this afternoon. I think it’ll be ok.”
“Alright. Let’s do it then.”
It was around 4 pm when the girls gathered at their usual hangout to catch up. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were as kind as usual, and each girl had her favorite confection to sip on. As Sunset had predicted, the Corner wasn’t that busy, however. She and Rarity had arrived first and taken a table in a far corner of the restaurant, to try to get some privacy.
The discussion at first focused on Applejack’s new hat. All the girls complimented it, and Rarity, amazed, asked where she had gotten it.
Applejack smiled proudly. “A certain newly kind and newly reformed young lady gave it to me by way of an apology,” she said happily, and winked at Sunset.
Sunset blushed and looked down at her milkshake. The other girls gushed. “What a lovely thing to do!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “You’re really something else these days, Sunset!”
Pinkie was jumping up and down. “Ooo! Ooo! Do we each get something? Do we?”
“Pinkie!” Rarity cried reproachfully as Applejack and Rainbow burst out laughing.
But Sunset only laughed too, understanding that Pinkie’s exclamation was pure excitement and had nothing to do with greed or bad manners.
“Yes, Pinkie, of course you do!” she confirmed.
Fluttershy was concerned. “But Sunset, you don’t have to do that. You know we all forgive you already, don’t you? Oh, please tell me you do!”
“Yes, Flutters, I do know. I promise. But I have to do this anyway. It’s part of learning how to apologize. I’ve actually had to do research to learn about all this, and I learned that it’s right to try to make restitution.”
“Restitution?” Rainbow asked, scratching her head.
“Yes. Look, your forgiveness is priceless. It can’t be bought, and that isn’t what this is about it. It’s about showing you all, with something tangible, that I’m serious when I say I wish I could make it all up to you. Even though we all know that I can’t.”
There was a moment of silence as Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy digested this.
“And I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer, by the way,” Sunset stated quite firmly, surprising most of the girls.
Applejack smiled. “There it was.”
Sunset was confused. “There what was?”
“Oh, just a lick of flame from your heart, sugarcube. It’s nice to see it starting to kindle again.” The other girls nodded agreement. Sunset seemed embarrassed, but pleased.
Pinkie piped up. “Have you given anyone else their…restitution yet?”
Rarity reached down for her bag. “As a matter of fact she has.” She pulled out the crown from her bag and showed it to them all. “Do you all know what this is?”
Not having paid close attention to the specific design of the crown from the last Spring Fling, none of the other girls did, so Rarity told them.
Fluttershy gasped. Pinkie cheered. Applejack nodded at Sunset knowingly and approvingly. “Wow. That is totally cool. That is really…honorable of you, Sunset,” said Rainbow, shaking her head in wonder.
Rarity continued to explain. “Sunset has asked Celestia to formally transfer the crown at a school assembly. And she wants Celestia to change the name on the plaque, and to hang a new picture.” She reached over and rubbed Sunset’s arm comfortingly. Sunset managed a smile.
The other girls expressed their amazement. “Oh Sunset,” Fluttershy commented happily. “You’ve changed so much.”
Sunset’s smile disappeared. “Which brings me to a more serious matter,” she stated.
The other girls, sensing Sunset’s change of mood, looked at her encouragingly and supportively.
“Rarity already knows what I’m about to tell you, and I’m taking her recommendation that I share it with all of you. Please bear with me; it’s not going to be easy to tell.”
So, Sunset proceeded to explain to the other girls exactly what had happened to her during the Rainbow Wave, why she hadn’t told them before, and why she felt ok with telling them now. She told them about how she understood that, though she never wanted to go through something like that ever again, she had needed to, and also how it might explain how she was “so far along”. When she was finished, the mood at the table was decidedly somber.
“Oh, sugarcube, Ah wish Ah’d known,” said Applejack sadly.
“But you understand why I didn’t want to tell you all right away, right?”
“Yes, yes, Ah do. Ah do see your point. Ah think it would have been ok anyway, but you didn’t know that, and Ah’m not upset with you. Besides, you’re telling us now, and it does help me to understand. Dang, it actually helps a lot. No wonder you were so tired and so tearful.”
Fluttershy was crying. She leapt up from her seat and came and sat by Sunset, enfolding her in a hug. Sunset was able to keep from crying, though she was clearly moved. She hugged Fluttershy back, allowing her care to sink deep into her heart.
Pinkie’s hair had partially deflated, and Rainbow’s eyes were wide. She was just shaking her head. At last she said, “I wish you hadn’t had to go through that. It sounds so hard.”
“But it’s over, girls, and I’ve learned a lot from it. I hope I’ve learned what I needed to,” Sunset said, trying to reassure them all.
“You have,” said Rarity. “You’re showing us even today. And even though we didn’t know consciously what you had been through, I think something told us – told me anyway – that you needed to be treated gently, rather than harshly.”
The other girls thought about this for a moment, then nodded one by one.
“Oh girls, please don’t be sad!” Sunset exhorted them. “I’m really doing a lot better. And while I’m still learning to deal with guilt and regret, your friendship is really helping me so much. I promise I’m not sad all the time anymore. I can honestly say I’m happy more than I’m sad now, and that’s because I’ve learned…how wonderful it is be your friend!” Sunset’s smile was the broadest they had yet seen from her. She wiped away a tear.