Apparently the pink mage is named Pinkie Pie.
This, in and of itself, is a bit neurotic. I mean... she's pink... VERY pink... but how does that become a name? And PIE? Well.... the Master did say she was a baker.
I reiterate. Messed. Up. World.
The Master is a 'librarian'. The Orange sweat stain and the Big Mac are both 'farmers'. The Rarity is a 'dressmaker' and the Rainbow Dash is some kind of bloody athlete. And let's not forget about the infant form of the coming draconic apocalypse.... Spike... is a butler or pet or something.
And the pink battle mage, capable of teleportation, merging science and magic, and apparently seeing the future if the Master wasn't just mocking me.... apparently, she's an apprentice baker.
That's right.... not even a full on cook... but a trainee.
This world is messed up, something fierce.
But, whatever the case, I've been told that once Pinkie meets someone new, there's no avoiding what grand doom awaits in their future.
So, following the Master's instructions, I am preparing myself for my "Welcome to Ponyville-slash-Twilight's got a new pet-slash-guest-slash-demonic entity bent on world domination - but not really".... party.
I've seen the banner. No, I'm not making it up.
I always knew mages were strange, but THAT mage? That one takes the cake. Pie. Whatever.
Of course, all this will be ultimately meaningless, once the Master takes over. Regardless, I've been told to be on my best behavior since I'll be meeting the 'rest' of the 'town'... which I assume means the Master's collection of disposable rank and file.
My 'party' is apparently a gathering that Pinkie is planning, and with her bizarre selection of skills and talents, I have no doubt that the Master's recruiting of the chattel will be successful.
After all, she did meet with the royals of the land already, so it's quite clear that she's already cut off the head of whatever joke this land calls an army. I still wish she'd have taken me to help out.... or at least to watch.
Hmmm....
Come to think of it, she came back completely unharmed, and while I know from experience that my Master is quite durable, it is rather strange that I couldn't find any battle damage.
Oh, I looked. I checked over the Master while she slept. I picked through her hair for scorch marks. I groomed her fur for blood stains. I even picked her teeth in case she'd decided to bring the pain in a very personal manner. And, despite my best efforts, I couldn't even find evidence of a little death and dismemberment.
I know she's a stickler for cleanliness, but no one is that good.
Unless she just decided on a nice round of artillery annihilation or... wait! Did she decide to use my fel-fire spellform from the table downstairs? Was it all just a ruse to try a new spell for assassination?
Oh... she's good.
No.
No, wait.
She was at the meeting when I carved that in.
So, no... artillery doom or magical disintegration is much more likely.
Unless... hmmm... Spike did say she dabbles in time travel.... so, I suppose she could have gone to the meeting, disliked the outcome, returned to the lair, got cleaned up, seen the spell, then travelled back in time to kill off the royals, thus preventing her having to return and get cleaned up... I mean, if I could time travel, I'd probably just give myself the stink eye, kill whatever was bothering me and then take my own place.
Or would that make a world destroying paradox?
You know what? I don't care. I'm immortal. I'd be perfectly fine with blowing up the world if it meant a little more destruction.
Except on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are the day the Master reorganizes the library. She would be very cross with me if I blew up the world on a Tuesday.
Oh fel.... she's getting to me.
-~oOo~-
Tomorrow is the day: My party.
I should point out that the boys back home are probably bursting out in fits of laughter with no clue as to why... right this very moment.
I mean, seriously. Me? A Party? And there's no fire or maimed children? How can they even call it a party without fire and maimed children?
Whatever. I was told, by the Master, that I must be on my best behavior for the party... and when I asked if I should try etiquette, the Master gave me an uncertain look before nodding.
I'm not sure if that means she's debating my grasp of the terrible form of magic or if I accidentally suggested invoking its wickedness without proper torture first, but whatever the case, I have thusly prepared myself.
Woe unto all those who would do the Master harm, for I have donned my jerkin of ultimate destruction (which the Rarity simply called 'adorable') and my battlestave of suffering (likewise referred to as a 'very dapper cane'). I have made sure the lair is secure, sealing all the doors with nails and glue, epoxying the windows, and binding all the cutlery so as not to prove a temptation for our 'guests'.
I've prepared multiple plates of 'treats' to lure them into a false sense of security and even provided bowls of 'punch'... completely free of any kind of poison!
Oh yes, I studied the 'Dread Grimoire of Proper Etiquette' at length. I've plumbed it's depths for the secrets of its unparalleled madness and found myself confused, though more than capable of invoking its cruel spells.
Soon.... soon I will make the Master proud.
Anyway. The doors are sealed, the windows are sealed, the basement is sealed, the kitchen was sealed until Spike explained that we needed to get in there, and the various cabinets, drawers, and closets have all been rendered inaccessible.
All of the Master's spell components are hidden away and all of her books are on proud display to discourage rebellion.
I am to 'enjoy myself' and 'have a good time'... while remaining on my best behavior.
Apparently the look I gave the Master was confusing since she felt the need to give me a list of all the fun things I wasn't allowed to do.
And really, how is 'not setting the guests on fire' supposed to make me feel happy? Whatever... this time tomorrow, the Master will finally have her legion at the ready and we can march on ... um... wherever it is that has defied her rule.
Come to think of it, the Master doesn't seem to ~have~ any enemies. Most warlocks have their sleep interrupted three or four times a night with would-be assassins. Hmmm.... wonder why that is?
Oh... that's right... she's terrifying.
-~oOo~-
It was just past noon when the first 'guests' started to arrive. Horsebeast after horsebeast, normal, winged, and horny; all of them baring the same brilliant smiles until they saw me answering the door. Then those smiles turned uncertain.
HAH! My grasp of etiquette must be more advanced than I thought. Already they are losing confidence at my mere presence. Regardless, one and all, they entered and proceeded to mill around, sampling drinks and treats alike.
Most came naked, though the Rarity brought another of her battle garments complete with a helm of some distinction.
And to think, just a few days ago, I had never heard of this branch of magic.
The Master truly is a fiendishly smart tyrant to have somehow seen the worth of this forgotten family of spells.
Who could ever imagine the act of offering a drink to be some kind of clandestined mind warping thaumic attack? My Master, that's who.
Anyway, I was happily wandering around, offering drinks and avoiding being stepped on by the local livestock when the Rainbow Dash suddenly stormed up to me and glared.
Well, I assume it was a glare... kind of hard to tell with how enormously large their eyes are. In all honesty, even if they're squinting to only a hairs breadth of having their eyes closed, there's more surface area than the average family of giant spiders.... and those beasts have 8 eyes each.
But, I was fairly certain she was glaring, what with the raised lip and half growl she displayed until the Master called her name.
Then? Bang! All smiles and "Hey Twilight!"s. Deceptive little rogue.
Of course, the Master saw none of it. Or, more likely, if she did, she didn't deem it worth a response. She is a busy tyrant after all and addressing every slight against her reign personally would chip away at her leisure time.
So, after the Rainbow Dash was suitably distracted, I added some "not poison, I swear!" to her cup and waited for her to turn around.
No, really. That's what the Pink one labeled it as.
As fate would have it, Rainbow Dash did turn back around a moment later, swiped the cup from my tray, and stormed off the moment the Master wasn't looking.
Hmmm.... suppose that was better than our first meeting at least.
Yep... all my fingers and toes are unbroken and I haven't been doused with ice water... so all in all? Not bad.
Or course the 'party' itself was a bit of an oddity to me. There were crude anatomical designs hung upon the walls with hollow forms and severed tails. There were buckets of water with the accursed apples to taunt the hungry or foolish. There was even a homonculus hung in effigy awaiting passerby to practice their combat skills.
Truly, I was not expecting this level of depravity from the Master... she normally seems so proper and........ peaceful.
Then again, she would. She is the Master. She has likely honed this mask for years simply to deflect the curious. It really should come as no surprise that she has such twisted 'party games' in her repertoire.
Still don't understand why I can't set the guests on fire, but if that's the worst of the day, then I suppose I can live with it.
...
Hmmm... actually, come to think of it, I just realized that with all of them wandering around, I almost didn't notice the yellow winged one that remained eerily silent until the Rainbow Dash sat down next to it and started whispering.
Oh.
Oh, I see now.
Cower before the Master but secretly hire an assassin to wait in the shadows? Silently watching and plotting for me to lower my guard?
You are even more dangerous than I originally thought, Rainbow Dash.
Fine then.... if you're plotting our downfall, then I suppose I can plot yours.
....
And after checking my list of fun activities I'm not allowed to do, I can confirm that 'plotting the downfall of a treasonous minion' is patently NOT listed.
Very clever Master.... very clever indeed.
-~oOo~-
Well now, it seems that "Pinkie Pie" is more dangerous than even I thought.
No sooner had I set my course for the kitchen to start plotting the downfall of the traitorous Rainbow Dash then she decided to down her cup to steel her nerves against my oncoming storm!
That or she was thirsty.... but I'll choose to think she was appropriately fearful after seeing me catch her plotting. Regardless, it was no more than three seconds and her eyes became pinpricks and she suddenly started bellowing great plumes of flame.
No kidding, actual fire.
I did NOT see that coming.
Now, before you go and start getting all silly about this, think of it from my perspective. Not only is this the single most violent horsebeast that I've met so far, but she is also the only one, other than the Master, who has caused me any realistic injury.
The orange sweatstink doesn't count. Mental suffering and a COMPLETELY reasonable aversion to apples aren't injuries... those are the results of torture.
But the Rainbow Dash HAS hurt me. She was able to spear me from more than half a mile away, plunge me into the surrounding architecture, cause me to end up covered in broken glass, powdered with dehydrated fire, beat me fast and hard enough to break the sink, and then dose me with water that effectively dehydrated the powdered fire that had been ground into my injuries.
I may also be remembering that a little off, but give me some slack! I was on fire... and not MY fire.
So finding out she can breathe the stuff is more than a little worrying.
Then again, hearing her scratchy voice yowling in pain made everything more clear.
She wasn't making the fire at all. Pinkie's 'not poison, I swear!' must have caught up with her.
HAH! Pinkie is officially the least hated of the Master's minions for the next two minutes.
And then.... oh... the next part was priceless. Remember how I said I had secured all the doors and windows? Well, get this, the filthy little traitor jumped up, flew across the room and up to the second level while trailing a cloud of her vile intentions, and smashed face first into the bathroom door!
She started pounding on it before flipping over and flying directly into the reinforced windows and falling right back down to the main level. Pinkie just started laughing while the Master just shook her head with a smile.
I had to blink. The Master had known! Somehow she had known what Pinkie was doing.
Well.... of course she had known. She's the Master.
I found myself chuckling until I glanced around and saw other 'guests' were likewise laughing or smiling.... then I just got a bad taste in my mouth. If ~they~ were all laughing, it didn't bode well. Either the Master intended to make a public display of her displeasure over the traitor's behavior or they were ALL being affected by something.
While the Master is potentially the most dangerous creature I've ever seen... diminutive and misleading as she may be... even I know that no one is immune to every attack. Everyone was laughing or smiling, some quaking with suppressed guffaws while others simply dropped to the floor in humor.
I hadn't sensed any magic used. I hadn't felt any sharp stings or seen any bright flashing lights. I hadn't heard any hypnotic voices or whispered words of power. No.... this had to be mundane. A POISON!
I quickly looked around for anyone not laughing or smiling. An attack could come from any angle, any side! Everyone was 'jolly' or 'having a good time'... STUPID PARTY!
But.... a brilliant way to hide an assassin's poison.
I could almost feel the grinding of bones in my neck as I looked back to where I'd seen her last... the yellow winged one who had bee hiding along the wall.... the one the Traitor had been whispering to.
She wasn't there.
And then, I heard a voice that was like fluffy bunnies on a soft pink baby's quilt, whispering through the room, as if from everywhere at once.
"Rainbow Dash! Are you alright?"
I swallowed hard and looked up.
Directly above me, floating in the air with the slowest wingbeats I've ever seen, was the yellow one with the pink hair.
Pink hair, which was so long, that I abruptly lost sight of everything as it floofed down around me.
ASSASSIN! She was trying to suffocate me before I could warn the Master!
I shrieked, leapt free, landed in the punch bowl (which hurt like hell since it was so freaking cold), and ended up sending the snack table flying.
Cupcakes were launched, drinks were spilled, the Traitor was rolling on the ground spitting flames, the assassin squeaked.... no, seriously, she squeaked like a dog toy, and everything erupted into a blur of magenta light as the Master, apparently, had had enough.
-~oOo~-
Being held in the Master's magic is something that I'm still not quite used to.
On the other hand, being flung through the air at high speeds, used as a blunt force weapon, or even sacrificed to power a warlock's dark rituals.... those are things I get. But just floating there while everything else gets put back in place and cleaned up? That's still something that just feels off to me.
Oddly, the guests did not seem even remotely concerned that an assassin was in their midst. Granted, they are likely only disposable rabble, and thus probably only in possession of the most meager hint of intellect, but we are talking about an ASSASSIN here.
Of course, the Master was well aware of this, I assume, since she prevented a panic that would have likely ended the pitiful lives of a good number of her perspective fodder before she had. Then again, watching her simply sort everything, clean up, and offer the Rainbow Dash a glass of milk all at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking.
I had been right about to voice my concern when the traitor, Rainbow Dash, leapt up from the floor and lunged at me.
Point of note: the Master was still levitating things when Rainbow Dash attempted this maneuver.
Point of note, number two: Rainbow Dash is apparently an idiot as the Master was still levitating things when she attempted this maneuver.
The resulting moment of awkwardness as Rainbow Dash stuck firmly in the air continued trying to strangle me from two feet away prompted the Master to roll her eyes.
Ah HAH! She's not smiling! the Master always smiles! She must be about to destroy the Rainbow Dash and shackle the lot of these 'guests' into immortal servitude! I knew she was just biding her time!
And then, the Master frowned at the traitor, floated her over to the other side of the room, and politely excused us from the guests.
Within moments, I found myself being pulled into the kitchen and the door closed. The Master put a hoof to her head and sighed before turning to me and asking what that had all been about.
I was overjoyed! Finally I can tell the Master that I discovered a plot within her own ranks! I can help her to enslave the masses. We can go out there, outside of the lair, and openly challenge one and all who would seek to oppose us. We can DESTROY the orange sweat stink and burn those accursed apples to the ground.
I was positively giddy as I prepared my carefully thought out argument.
"The Yellow one was hired by the blue traitor to kill you!" I shrieked. "I heard it talking to the rogue in the corner and then the yellow one hid while she poisoned all your minions!"
The Master's eyes looked almost tired... but given the fact that she had likely been poisoned, it only stood to reason that her superior endurance had prevented the worst of the toxin's effects.
Without speaking, she rolled a hoof for me to continue.
"The Pinkie put 'not poison, I swear' in the traitor's drink and the yellow one used it as a distraction to get close to you! Then, before I could warn you, she tried to kill me by smothering! She planned my escape and made sure I landed in the bowl of frigid agony! You saw the blue one trying to silence me! The Pink one is all alone!"
The Master blinked.
"Gakham.... just.... no."
And, just like that, I suddenly had no idea what was happening.
"Those are my friends. We've been over this. No one is trying to kill me. No one is trying to hurt you. Those are not my 'minions' or 'slaves' or anything!" she nearly shouted.
I, in turn, blinked in confusion.
"But the traitor—" I started, before she cut me off with a snort.
"Rainbow Dash is NOT a traitor. She's the element of LOYALTY. Even if she wasn't, she's still my friend!"
The world didn't make much sense at that moment.... so I did the only thing I could think of.
I lit the Master on fire.
... Which... in retrospect, may have been better done with an explanation before attempting to burn away mind-controlling magic.
Of course, the Rainbow Dash chose that exact moment to push open the kitchen door and try to apologize... until she saw the Master on fire.
Then, well, I found out what it feels like to be smashed through the kitchen window at roughly the speed of sound.
Which, given I phased as soon as I was out of the Master's immediate vicinity, wouldn't have been quite so bad if you ignored things like broken bones... except for the manner of my removal leaving me some few hundred feet above the ground.
By the time the Rainbow Dash realized I was no longer in her grip, I had hit the ground, and was already on my way back to save the Master.
-~oOo~-
Racing across the battleground of Arathi basin has always been a favorite pastime of mine. There's nothing quite like darting between those little 'important' objectives, dodging attacks and stuffing a ball of fel fire down some idiot's armor. Every now and then, I'd get really lucky and Stitchface would start cackling madly while up on the cliff and I'd get to laugh as whatever numbskull was fighting her would simply leap off to their death. Oh yes, Arathi was simply adorable.
At least it had been until that ham-for-hands dwarf and the panda rug kicked me out of that realm entirely.
Since then, it's been more a game of trying not to anger the Master... well... my ~new~ Master.
Admittedly, there've been some bumps along the way; the fires, the glass, the sharp pointy objects embedded in my flesh, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF HER "FRIENDS"... but I'm not bitter. No, no, no. I, after all, am an imp, and what imps do best is adapt to the situation.
So, when the Master pulled me out of the "welcome party" to explain that I was not being hunted, that no one was trying to hurt or kill me, and that her minions were not minions, but "friends," I, understandably, took all these bits of information into account and concluded that the Master was being mind controlled.
Perfectly reasonable given my background.
...
Also, a really long sentence when you stop to think about it.
But that's beside the point. Being a dutiful and loyal imp, I attempted to singe the invasive magic out of the Master, freeing her from its (no-doubt) terribly inconvenient grasp!
That singeing magic causes the target to erupt in flames (momentarily!), was witnessed by one of the Master's "friends", and that said "friend" then proceeded to launch herself at me, spearing the both of us through the kitchen window, and up into the freaking SKY before I could phase.... well.... also inconvenient.
Breaking a bunch of bones in the process before falling back to the ground, breaking more, and then attempting to save the Master.... inconvenient again.
So, in summary, my current situation is "inconvenient" — with a multiplier no less.
The good news? I'm an imp! And, as I've said before, imps are very VERY durable.
By the time I was on the ground, I was already springing to my feet and cutting a little flaming trail across the town.
Oh! Did I mention that?
Yes, the Master's lair is smack dab in the middle of a little hamlet; some little wood and thatch thing with a smattering of stonework and stucco. Whoever came up with this fever dream of architecture and urban planning should really be sent to an institution... or the Master's secret dungeons, whichever is nearer.
That being said, I was racing down the empty streets, skipping corners and diving under carts and around flower planters when I suddenly found myself plowed into the ground again by the Rainbow Dash.
All ~kinds~ of fun cracking and popping sounds from that impact! Buuuuuuut, I digress.
She was howling about something and her eyes were little pinpricks of fury as she hauled back to punch me with hoof after hoof.
I say "hauled back to punch me" because I saw it coming.
Phasing.... great skill.
Being pinned while phasing, not such a great thing.
End result? A LOT of glancing blows.
Oh yheah, this little blue traitor was a fighter, which makes my response completely understandable in retrospect.
...
Don't roll your eyes as me. We all know she'll be fine once the surprise wears off.
I lit her on fire.
There was a scream of surprise, followed by an INCREDIBLE crush of force as she leap up and streaked off with a trail of smoke, and I was back on my feet.
... in a furrow plowed half a foot deep in the cobbled stone of the street. Holy Fel, she hits hard. BUT the Master was in danger so I was instantly off racing again!
And then I found myself smashed into the wall of a house with a steaming, soaking wet, Rainbow Dash snarling at my face.
Fire.
Off and running again!
And falling from the sky as a Rainbow Dash proceeded to pile drive me through a cloud for some reason. Not sure what the point was.... clouds.... you know, not very durable, but the impact with the ground hurt.
And running again!
And....smashed into a cafe table by the Rainbow Dash.... and stomped on... and pummeled... aaaaaannnnd FIRE!
...
Now... let me make myself ~ABSOLUTELY~ clear on this point. Imps are durable, very durable, very very durable, and yet there does come a point where you just have to take off the kiddie gloves. Buuuuuuuuuut, the Master CLEARLY stated I was not to hurt her minio- er... I mean... her 'friends.'
So, tough or not, I wasn't really fighting back, and there's only so much even ~I~ can ignore.
I finally just couldn't take it anymore and curled up in a little burning ball and let her beat me.
Oh... that was going to sting in a few minutes. Hooves are NOT soft, well, at least not Rainbow Dash's hooves, and being stomped, punched, bucked into the local architecture, and pile-driven repeatedly into cobblestone streets is not my idea of a relaxing afternoon.
That the Rainbow Dash seems to know wrestling moves of some sort only vaguely registered.
That she finally let up enough for me to think it was over, only to unleash FRAKKING LIGHTNING BOLTS from the sky to strike me REPEATEDLY... well, that was unexpected.
But what was the real shocker of the afternoon? That would have to be the Master finding us and saving ME from the Rainbow Dash by jumping in FRONT of the lightning when she saw it.
One moment, I'm thrashing on the ground in a kajillion volts of brain melting sky explosions, and the next I'm just hearing the explosions and smelling burnt hair.
And then I looked up and saw the Master glaring up at a very angry and confused sky horse... smoke billowing from her twitching purple coat and a glowing dome of magenta separating us from the traitor. Never saw that one coming in a million years.
...
Since when do Warlocks care about their demons?
-~oOo~-
So, there I was, curled up in a little flaming ball of shock and pain, watching as the Master stood over me, shielding us both, while simultaneously keeping the Traitor at bay.
To say that I was surprised would have been an understatement. I mean, yheah, warlocks and demons go hand in hand...er... hand in hoof in this case, but it's always, ALWAYS, the demon who gets the short end of the stick in combat.
We're tough. We're mean. We're dangerous in ways that most things have trouble thinking about. But, at the end of the day, for a warlock at least, we're expendable. Hells, we're SACRIFICIAL. Literally.... like, I know it doesn't happen on a minute to minute basis, but no summoned demon of any self-respecting warlock ~hasn't~ been sacrificed a few hundred times to save their master's skin.
My Master, excluded.
But a warlock ~actually~ protecting a demon? Now, that's unheard of.
I knew the Master was nuts before, but... I mean.... WHAT?
Anyway, next thing I know, the other horsebeasts all come charging up the road, looking like their tails're on fire. The Orange sweatstain was pounding along like she was ready for war. The Rarity came along at juuuust shy of a prance before stopping ~just so~ to keep the dust cloud from touching her immaculate war-robes. The Pinkie Pie was jumping along like some kind of monk-mage-rogue-hunter-priest with levitation — still think she's cheating somehow, but she has artillery hidden all over so I'm not going to question her to her face.
And then there was the assassin, gliding along on silent butter yellow wings, with her pink fluffy garrote of mane, drifting in the non-existent breeze as she fixed the world with 'shy and fearful' eyes.
I know that look.
It's the look of a master actor; one who is so preternaturally good at playing her role that she can get lost in it when interrogated. One who can slip into a name or occupation with the comfort of well oiled leathers and a warm meal. One who can kill in cold blood before taking a leisurely stroll home, wave at the neighbors, and enjoy eating a meal with a cluelessly devoted family and a good book before bed.
In short, I'm pretty sure she's a fel-corrupted hunter infused with black magic, a priest's mind control, and the acting abilities of a succubus.
Actually, she's got wings... she's probably a succubus with hunter training. I heard she keeps animals.
So, there we were on the street. The Master keeping us from her minions while they ran up with looks of concern and confusion.
Except the Traitor... she still looked like she wanted blood.
Words were exchanged... I'm not sure which words because at that point I found out that all that lightning had apparently burst my eardrums, but within about a minute, the Master lowered her magic shield on all but the Traitor — who, consequentially, was looking a bit more abashed and nervous than before.
The Master lowered her to the ground then drug her over in a pinkish ball of magic, before pointing at her and then swinging her hoof back to point at me.
The Traitor had the dignity to act even more embarrassed, pointedly looking everywhere but at me and scratching behind her head before mouthing something quickly and turning to dart off.
Only for her to stop violently as her tail jerked her back, locked in the glow of the Master's magic.
Over the course of the next few minutes, the Master gestured repeatedly to each one of her minions before snapping her hoof back at me. Each time, their faces flicked through a few expressions before settling on some form of embarrassment.
Well... except for Pinkie and the Rarity. Both of them seemed pleased with the outcome.
The Assassin only retreated further under her mane even though the Master was clearly suckered into her facade. I swear, even if I could have heard her, I didn't see the Master even gesture angrily towards that one. I think the Master might have even been trying to comfort her.
That's a scary thought though too.... what if the Master KNEW she was an assassin and that the Rainbow Dash would hire her and decided to hire her first instead, thus setting off this specific chain of events that would result in a clear statement of superiority and dominance unrivaled in the land?
No... no one was that clever. No one was that capable. No one thought of that many contingencies and acted to place just the right actors to carve out exactly the right future without revealing themselves.
That kind of mind, that kind of madness.... no one could function in a world with that kind of genius being held back by every second they were forced to interact with the common vulgar existence of the populace. It would drive them insane. They would be reduced to mumbling fools, so exasperated with the mindless crush of everyday activities that they would be forced to remind themselves of their brilliance. Slowly, over the course of years, they would delve deep into the abstract, following the torturous woes of life until mundane activities, too, became naught but a chore — and a chore that required specific actions lest their slowly slipping sanity sequentially submerge sublimely.
Alliteration.
...
Checklists.
The Master has checklists for everything.
...
She knew.
And before I could decide how to handle this revelation, I found myself being picked up and held to the smoky coat of the Master as she hugged me.
And, one by one, the others joined in — the Trai...the Rainbow Dash looking supremely uncomfortable and stalling for nearly a minute before I felt the Master's chest vibrate and the blue devil reluctantly closed in on the group ........ hug.
...
If it had been anything other than the Master, I would have thought they were attempting to smother me.
The Master, as I have asserted from the first day, is insane............ but, it's a not-bad kind of insane.
-~oOo~-