//------------------------------//
// The Perfect Pear 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.





Dear Grand Pear,

Prepare yourself for a spectacular welcome back to Ponyville party!

Welcome welcome welcome
Welcome back you dumb schmuck!
Welcome welcome welcome
Okay now let us fuck!
Welcome welcome welcome
Let us do it all day!
Welcome welcome welcome
Stop? To that I say neigh!

Your new pony pal,
Pinkie Pie





To Ponyville Train Station,

I need a ticket straight back to Vanhoover. There’s this crazy pink mare now chasing after me everywhere!

-Grand Pear





Dear Grand Pear,

Good luck. You’ll need it. There is no escape...

-Cranky Doodle Donkey





Dear Bright Mac and Pear Butter,

Your love story gives me a great idea for a play. I'll call it The Perfect Pear or maybe McIntosh and Buttercup.

This should sell millions in Manehattan!

Inspired,
Spear Shaker





“Oh Buttercup, mah Buttercup, where y’all at Buttercup?

Deny yer daddy and refuse his name;

Or if’n y’all will not, be swoon, my love, and I’ll no longer be—” Bright Mac was cut off when an alarm clock slammed on his head.

“It’s three a.m., Celestia damn it!” cried out Buttercup from her window.

“Save the love making in the morning!” Buttercup added.

Bright Mac, rubbing his head, looked down in disappointment. It was then that be noticed the note attached to the alarm clock which said “Just kidding Bright Mac. Love you too.”

This gave Bright Mac a light smile as he trotted back to the apple farm.





Dear Grand Pear-Pear,

How did you get the plot of land right next to ours?

Curious,
Applebloom




Years ago…

Princess Celestia watched as Mister Pear left the halls of her chamber in a heap of excitement along with his family members, barrels pack to the brim with pear seeds in tow. Their excitement mainly due to the prospect of new farmland for a pear farm right next to the Everfree Forest. What Celestia failed to mention however was that the area next to their land was occupied by the Apple family.

Looking to the side of her throne, Celestia was choosing which giant tier cake to eat. The brown coloured cake layered with sprinkles, a yellow coloured cake decorated with bananas or the white cake iced with sugar.

Whichever she chose, she’ll take a slice of cake and EAT IT.

Using her magic, Celestia levitated a knife to slice a piece of cake from the enormous white cake. Lifting her fork, she ate a piece of cake.

“Let the entertainment begin…” Celestia thought with a chuckle at the possible drama bound to unfold between the Apples and the Pears during their fruits of labor.





Dear Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity and Spike

We should let Twilight visit the mess of a house that is Goldie Delicious. She might have a heart attack strong enough that might actually kill her.

Your friend,
Applejack

P.S I finally have parents! Thank Hasbro!

P.P.S. My mom’s song is now stuck in my head all day. Celestia-damn earworm!





Dear Applejack,

Or, conversely, all that organizing could make her damn horny. Not a risk we're willing to take.

Sincerely,
Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, and Spike





Dear Granny Smith,

Does this mean Grand Pear-Pear can come to the next apple family reunion?

Excited,
Applebloom





Dear Applebloom,

If it were only that simple. The death of your parents does not make both families forgive each other for the mean words that were already said to one another. Life ain’t that fair that way.

Tried and true,
Granny Smith





Bronies far too long, had to wait

To know about our timeless fate

This episode, proves to fans

That season seven will be grand

By not focusing on our deaths at all

Just a love story before we fall…

Many tears were shed, from the start

From the hold this had on your heart

And while this copied Shakespeare all along

It touched your heart like this catchy song

Next season comes, Gen 4 will end,

But our appearance was a godsend

So the fans praised us forevermore,

At this handsome stallion and pretty gal,

Only shown on one episode was worthwhile

And you should not blame yourself, too

If you can’t help fallin’ for this waifu





Dear Hasbro,

So are you ever gonna grow the balls to show us what actually happened to our parents?

Sincerely,
Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Apple Bloom