The park surrounding Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns was truly a haven for the overworked students, an island of relaxation in the spring. The weather was great, the shade from the trees making plenty of ideal picnic spots for ponies of all ages to enjoy. This particular afternoon was specially enjoyable for Sunset Shimmer, thanks to having aced her latest midterm practical. She was enjoying some outdoor reading in the park for a bit, as her own personal celebration. Usually she'd be in a corner of the library, or hiding in one of the personal rooms in the castle, but she just passed her midterm exam earlier, and wanted to treat herself by rereading 'Advanced Elemental Magical Practices' in the sunshine. There was time enough later for her to get back to reviewing her casting for her final midterm, before her evening lesson with Princess Celestia.
It did help that the school was closed until they could repair the damage from the overgrown vine she created as part of the practical section of the exam. Thankfully the curriculum this year focused on magical strength or she'd have lost quite a bit of points for the lack of complexity of her selected spell. Bluffing through it was easy, but she would make sure to practice her detail work later.
She'd been studying how to modify the Growth spell to better control how the vines would grow. A giant plant by itself would not be enough to let her make the present she was planning for the princess for the next summer day celebration. She wanted to get enough mastery on it until she could shape how the vines grew into intricate statues of shrubbery on command. She had actually sketched out the scene she wanted to create, which she planned to grow in one of the more private corners of the royal Gardens. It was actually a little secret of hers, that she had a bit of an artistic side, which she would add to her magical displays once in a while. It would be a pair of pegasi, one looking down with affection, her wings unfolded as if just landing, with smaller pony laying on the ground, with youthful proportions looking up. She got her inspiration at this very park, when she saw a pegasus mother land to join her daughter for a picnic.
She hoped to show it to her mentor at the next Summer Sun Celebration. while Princess Celestia put up a smile around others, she always looked a bit melancholy the night before and after the sun celebration . Sunset had tried for years to cheer up, or at least bring her out of her funk. Sunset knew that it would cheer the princess up, even though she would inevitably fall back into her funk, just like every year.
*sigh* 'Cmon Sunset, focus on what you succeeded in doing today, not on how you always fail in getting the attention you deserve from the princess.'Sunset always struggled with her own thoughts. The park suddenly wasn't as pleasant as a moment ago, the breeze was irritating, the sunshine migraine inducing, and the laughter and teasing of fillies and colts was distracting instead of soothing. She hated how hard it was to just be content with herself for any decent period of time.
Actually, as she tried to focus again on her surroundings, one of those voices from a group of ponies picnicing behind her sounded familiar, a quick glance confirmed her fears.'Crap it's the pink tattle tale. What's she doing here, and with a little squirt? Ugh just ignore her Sunset, you're not doing anything wrong'.Seeing Cadance having fun right by HER favorite spot in the park was the final nail in the coffin of her good mood.
Lately, it felt like the pink alicorn was souring everything in Sunset's life, first by taking Celestia's attention, encroaching in all her spots in the castle, like the library, being so talkative with Celestia at every meal, and now even at the park. Always looking prim and perfect and proper. If she weren't such a failure in the magic department, Sunset probably would have packed her bags and moved to the badlands to escape her own sense of inadequacy. She even had a really cute stallion hanging out with her! Passing that bouncy ball back and forth to the adorable little purple filly, those three could have modeled for a postcard of all the family friendly Canterlot tourism commercial.
'I should just go back to the palace, the mood's ruined.'She began packing up her saddle bag with her book and notes. Hopefully the walk to the palace would help her clear her mind before her evening session with Princess Celestia. Sadly, it was jut her luck that some classmates noticed her and went up to speak with her.
"Sunset Shimmer! The vine you made was amazing!" She looked up, noticing Minuette and a group of four other unicorn mares from the freshman class walking up to her. These five have tried to hang out with her a couple times, probably trying to get help with their own studies or boost themselves in the eyes of the school.
"Really exquisite!" piped up the unicorn behind her.
'Crap! These air heads... why can't they leave me alone, I've told them a million times! Geeze have some self respect why don't you? Just cause I'm Celestia's student doesn't mean I'm going to let social climbers like you use me to boost your own popularity!'Outwardly she tried to control her reaction, though she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. You'd think half a semester worth of stone walling them would have put them off, but it seems she would need to get even nastier to get this group to stop harassing her.'Only problem, if I'm too blunt princess tattles over there may notice and tell Celestia'Lately the princess of the sun always lectured her for hours after each of her latest antisocial episodes, and she somehow always found out. One would think she didn't have other responsibilities.
"Would you like to have lunch with us?" Asked a third member of the possee taking up her limited downtime.
'Ok, this is ridiculous. Time to put my griffon face on! I am not letting them waste what little time I've got to myself!'Sunset made sure to copy the traditional Canterlot noblemare's practice of tilting her head to the sky with her eyes closed as she walked away. "I have better things to do than socialize. I'm going to re-read 'Advanced Elemental Magical Practices' and then practice for my advanced summoning spells exam. What are you studying for? Nothing, that's what." She couldn't be any more clear in her rejection of their overtures of friendship if she wrote her feelings on a sign and waved it in their faces.
Sadly the one downside of looking upwards was it made it very inconvenient to walk quickly so she was still near enough to hear their last exchange, said loud enough that it was obviously meant for her ears.
"Well, she wasn't very nice." , "She's right full of herself, that's what!" , "Her loss. I'm awesome."
Those last few comments actually stung a bit, they were getting much better in their subtle jabs. she continued onward and began trotting quickly as soon as she was out of sight however. She would never let anyone see their words get to her. Her afternoon was officially ruined, she knew she would be spending the time before her evening lesson sulking about things. At least she would get a bit of time with Princess Celestia this evening, which would help her feel better'well, as long as she doesn't nag me about my attitude again'. It was getting harder and harder for Sunset to keep her thoughts up, and not bring herself down.
Sunset was pacing her room, in front of her mirror. Lately, she had been trying to externalize her negative thoughts, and her reflection helped her do that. Sometimes though, it didn't work that well. On her more difficult days, such as today, she couldn't see the strong mare she showed everyone beyond her bedroom doors. Instead she focused on all her imperfections. Her puffy bloodshot eyes, from studying too late this last week. How messy and uneven her mane looked compared to the Perfect Pink Pony Princess (P4) from tartarus. The fact that lately, she seemed to only disappoint her mentor, or that 4 months ago Celestia halved their lesson time to every other day, to share her valuable wisdom with the newly found pink alicorn.
Sunset could have accepted that, if it weren't the fact that when she did get to see her, Celestia would bring up all the ways she fell short. She wasn't nice enough, she didn't make friends fast enough, her temper was too short, she was too prideful, too arrogant, not humble enough, she was being mean to Cadance, she needed to go make friends and have fun...
Well, she was too busy trying to keep her edge in the few things she outshone her new rival for the Princess's attention. Cadance, after winning the Alicorn lottery, had huge magical reserves. Once she actually learned how to use them, she would easily be able to catch up with Sunset. She already had everything else going for her, the looks, personality, luck. She even had Celestia calling her niece within 2 weeks of moving in! Celestia didn't even use anything but Sunset or 'My student' when speaking to her! All Sunset had was her current mastery of her own magic power, her years of studies in magical theory and whatever potential Celestia had seen in her all those years ago.
There was the rub though. Lately it felt like Celestia looked at her with less and less affection each day. Maybe Sunset wasn't living up to her potential? Sunset knew that she could meet and exceed Celestia's expectations, she would be the best. She would show her princess how irreplaceable she was.
After a couple frustrating hours of trying to suppress the afternoon's fiasco in the park from her mind, and failing to stop herself from spiraling into melancholy and self doubt while in her chambers, it was finally time to go see Princess Celestia. This evening she was directed to a seldom used wing of the palace, an unusual location for their lessons, which actually excited Sunset. A surprise like this usually meant she would actually learn something new and interesting, instead of getting another lecture on friendship. With that thought, she finally got herself a bit under control.
As she skipped towards her teacher and saw her face however, she began to reevaluate her hopes for how the night's lessons would go. From the look she was getting, it seemed that somebody had spilled the beans on what happened at the park. 'Why couldn't she let me have one day of Celestia time without ruining it for me?' She took a quick breath, let it out slowly, and put on her cockiest smirk. Wouldn't due to show any weakness. When she was within a couple feet, the princess silently turned to walk further into the hallway and nodded her head for Sunset to walk with her.
After passing the last archway Celestia began her latest sermon, "Sunset Shimmer, I have heard you're not getting along well with the other students. We've talked bout the fact the fact that personal relationships-"
"Personal Relationships? Who needs anypony? The most important thin in life is to be the best." Sunset interrupted, frustrated. She didn't need to cater to the fake ponies at the school. She had seen how they competed and one upped each other, or gave up and wallowed in mediocrity like the mares from earlier. She was not going to get pulled down by anyone. They were all distractions anyway. She would make her dream come true, and Celestia would have to acknowledge her. She couldn't just foist Sunset on random other ponies!
"We've talked about friendship and its importance before, and we've discussed hat you need to start opening yourself up to new friends, and remember that talk we had about humility?" Celestia continued, with an exasperated face.'Why couldn't she have just told me she was proud of my achievements today? What do I have to do?!'
"I remember how boring it was" Sunset knew she was digging the hole even further, but couldn't help herself from making one more snarky comment.
Hearing the princess sigh and slowly breathe out made her feel somewhat guilty, but Sunset kept hold of her frustration.'I deserve- I deserve better than this right? I wish.. I wish she could just be proud of me, I am the best the school has seen, I've learned everything she's put in front of me... Hah! Maybe if I were an alicorn like Cadance, she'd actually look at me how she used to...'
Celestia seemed to notice Sunset's growing agitation, and gently bumped her side with her wing. As Sunset looked up, her mentor looked down at her and gave her a big wide smile. Sunset responded with a sheepish smile back. It didn't fix the growing issues, but at least it broke her from her spiraling mood. "Sunset, today we will look at some of the artifacts I've accumulated in the years of my rule of Equestria."
Sunset followed along, getting excited once again as she focused on the upcoming lesson. This was exactly what she had been hoping for, something new and mystical to study. Maybe the princess would ask for help in uncovering the secrets of some of these artifacts? Soon enough they reached an antique mirror, over sized enough to compete in height with Celestia herself.
"Well? Look into this mirror and tell me what you see." Princess Celestia smiled mysteriously towards her student, seemingly fully aware of her student's anticipation. The princess's grin was a bit infectious, and Sunset found herself smiling as she studied her reflection. Well, if the princess was in a humorous mood, maybe she could tease a bit.
"I see... A beautiful pony that has nothing but power and potential." She grinned and preened a bit, looking at the princess's reflection in the mirror. However, instead of getting a grinning riposte back as she had expected from her compliment, the princess just looked exasperated and annoyed.
"Care to try that again with our talk about humility taken into account?" It seemed she had completely misread the situation again, and the princess wasn't in the mood to joke around. Sunset was a bit hurt that princess Celestia would get so stern over a simple comment. So maybe she had hoped for a compliment back. Well if the princess wants honesty, she would give her honesty. She glared at the mirror, thinking about how she saw herself. The fact that the princess seemed to be giving up on her, taking her to pasture by asking her to find 'friends', probably to slowly ween her off of her apprenticeship. All she had was her drive to prove her self, to have everyone acknowledge her.
"I see... a pony that isn't powerful enough. Somepony who could be great, powerful..." As she ruminated on that thought she began to see her reflection begin to warp, with light glowing from her head and her back. Was this what she needed to do to be accepted? There would be no denying her worth, no way to forget about her. Her mind was close to an epiphany, watching as the light grew, and begun to take shape. A hint of feathers here, jewels there. The rest of the room seemed to darken, as the light was sucked into her reflection. Yes, if she became powerful enough, she could take charge. Sunset knew Celestia hated ruling by herself. She alone had to raise the sun, the moon and stars, then manage court, never having a moment's rest. Sunset knew how much Celestia chafed from the pedestal she found herself in. She could never take a rest, never be anything but the Princess.
But, if she could share her burdens... If Sunset could rise to take some of the responsibility... Celestia would surely welcome some reprieve from her daily burdens. She would have to acknowledge Sunset at least as much as she had done Cadance.
"She'd have to...she'd have to... right?" Sunset murmured, inaudible to the princess beside her. for a moment Sunset's mind shied from completing that thought, from breaking her trance, but it betrayed itself with a whisper of a memory, of nights before her time at the palace, of her last thought every evening before falling asleep, a wish hidden deep in her heart, a desire for family.
Sunset's eye's widened as it seemed like the reflection began to warp again. Now her reflection was showing an out of focus mare over her shoulder, who looked on with a face of such pride and affection, as she showed off her wings. It was the closest thing to a motherly expression Sunset could ever imagine being directed at her.
Sunset knew what she would be willing to do for that to become a reality. She would do anything to become that pony, to become "... somepony that could rule Equestria."
It seemed princess Celestia heard her last comment, taking her response in the worse possible way as usual. It was fine, Sunset thought to herself as it she was shuffled out of the room. She finally knew exactly what she needed to do. She had some doubts about the lonely path she had chosen, but this vindicated all of it.
It was late by the time Sunset returned to her room. As she entered she noticed she had some mail delivered. It seemed it was her latest school report, a couple invitations to events organized by the different interest groups looking for favor at court, and one from her old orphanage? It was the thickest of all, and she wondered if it was some paperwork for her records or something. She really hoped it wasn't something crazy like a fundraising mailer. They were barking up the wrong tree if they thought she would have anything to do with that old place. To be honest, she tried to forget she was ever there in the first place.
Opening it, she saw that it was another envelope along with a single page letter in it. As she read the first letter, her insides suddenly felt like ice. She looked at the envelope. It held answers to questions she had refused to ask herself since she got out of the orphanage, and into the graces of Celestia's personal mentorship. She'd told herself that her desire for family and love, none of that mattered more than showing the princess that Sunset had been worth raising from the muck.
Now though, this distracting temptation fell right in her lap. Sunset read it all again, and again. The words on the pages didn't change. There was someone out there, looking for their niece.