//------------------------------// // Ponybuck Season // Story: My Little Pony: Friendship is PG-13 Season 1 // by Cherry Crunch //------------------------------// Applejack wiped her brow. It was hard work, ponybucking. Twilight was walking past Sweet Apple Acres when Applejack saw her. Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Big Cheese,” she said to her older brother. “Over there.” She gestured toward Twilight. Big Cheese nodded. “Eeyup.” They ran toward Twilight. She turned to look just before they kicked her 2,832 feet in the air. Spike cheered. Twilight’s screams could be heard loud and clear across Bloodville. “You’ll pay Applejack! You’ll pay! When I become an alicorn! And trust me I will become an alicorn! I will rule Equestria! And then you will pay, Applejack!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Hey Applejack, why do you keep kicking ponies?” he asked Applejack. “You’ve been doing it all week.” “Well, Spike, here’s how it is,” Applejack told him, “its ponybucking season! Me and Big Cheese get paid by PBS (Pony Bucking Society) to kick ponies. Its our main source of income, seein’ as ponies don’t like gettin’ apples from our farm. Says its ‘creepy.’ Right ridiculous seein’ as they live in a town called Bloodville. We also make a small income on illegal drugs, but don’t tell the police that.” He winked at Spike. Spike grinned and nodded eagerly. Right then Twilight hit the ground.“You’ll… pay… Applejack,” She groaned. “I… rule... Equ-” Big Cheese kicked her again. He let out a yelp of pain and fell to the ground. It was plain to see, no need to ask whether the leg was twisted or not. It was. “Do you think you’ll be able to do more ponybucking this season?” Applejack asked him. Big Cheese shook his head. “Nope.” Applejack sighed. “Guess its all up to me then. It won’t be easy. I better get to work.” ************** “Calling to order this town meeting!” Twilight called across the square. She and the rest of the town (except Applejack) were in the town square. “We are gathered here to discuss Applejack’s ponybucking. She’s ponybucked almost everypony in town, and the situation is serious. I’m all for violence, but this is going too far. Now, as for how to deal with the problem, Kill her, I say! Still, everyone can give suggestions.” Rainbow Dash shoved Twilight away from the podium. “I have a plan for getting her. When I’m done with her—” Pink Pony landed on the podium. “Mwhaha!” Fluttershy leapt down from a roof and landed on Pink Pony’s head. Pink Pony fell to the ground unconscious. “My kindness will persuade her to stop,” she reassured them. Nopony doubted that. Except for Rainbow and Pink Pony. Rainbow ponybucked Fluttershy out of the way. “My plan is a hundred times better than yours!” he boasted. Pink pony came back to consciousness and slapped Rainbow with her tail, momentarily stunning him. “Haha ha hahaha!” she argued. Twilight, having had enough, made a magic explosion noise. It got everypony’s attention. “Alright, listen up!” Twilight yelled. “You can each try and see if your method works! Happy? Good! Meeting adjourned!” ************** “Hey, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash called, hovering far above the ground to avoid getting ponybucked, “Wanna go test out my new catapult with me? There’ll be a huge crowd of ponies watching. Are you in?” Applejack looked up. “A huge crowd of ponies, eh? I’ll be there.” Rainbow pumped her fist and flew away. Suddenly another pegasus flew in, this time Fluttershy. “Hey, Applejack, do you want to go to the spa with me later? Its really busy today.” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Sure, I’ll be there. Funny, Rainbow just invited me to test out a catapult. I’d think there was a conspiracy, but thats plum crazy.” Fluttershy nodded. “Most certainly crazy.” She flew off at top speed. Pink Pony now raced over. She ran around Applejack at the speed of sound to avoid being ponybucked. Her words arrived several minutes late because of this. “Hahahahahaha ha!” She pointed toward the just visible roof of Sugar Cube Coroner, the building that served as Pink Pony’s residence, coroner’s office, and a bakery that was very popular. Applejack nodded uncertainly. “I’ll be there.” She felt that something fishy was going on, but she dismissed the thought. The ponies she had kicked over ten times each would never try to trick her, would they? Never, Applejack decided. ************** Applejack arrived at the catapult late, her back legs aching from all the ponybucking. Rainbow Dash was waiting for her. “Hey, AJ, glad you could make it!” Rainbow greeted her. “Where’s the crowd?”asked Applejack suspiciously. “Oh, the crowd isn’t here yet,” explained Rainbow. “We need to do a test run before they arrive.” Applejack nodded. “Okay. What do we do?” “Well,” Rainbow said, “First you need to sit on that end of the stick.” Applejack sat on the stick. “And I just jump from here onto this end of the stick!” Rainbow jumped onto the other end and Applejack went flying far away. Rainbow, pleased with her work, went to Sugar Cube Coroner to get some pastries for the night. She stopped in her tracks however when she saw Mayor Mare flying into the air. She growled and looked around for something to break. ************** Applejack arrived at Sugar Cube Coroner exhausted. “Hey, Pinkie Pie,” he greeted Pinkie Pie, which was Pink Pony’s real name. “Haha!” Pinkie replied. She pointed to Applejack’s head, then at the mixing bowl. “You want me to put my head in the mixing bowl?” Applejack asked. Pinkie nodded. “Well, I don’t know nothin’ about cooking so I’ll take your word for it.” He stuck his head in the mixing bowl. Pinkie Pie pressed the button on the mixer. Applejack started spinning, his hind legs sticking straight out. They caught Pinkie in the side and she was sent crashing through a window and landing on the other end of Ponyville. “Ha!” she complained. ************** Applejack walked into the spa rather unsteadily, his head still spinning. She saw Fluttershy waiting for her. “Hi Applejack!” she greeted her. “Ready for the spa?” “You bet,” Applejack told her. “I am aching crazy from all this ponybuckin’.” “Those aches will soon be in quite a different predicament,” Fluttershy told her, slowly advancing. Applejack backed up until she was pressed flat against the wall. “Wait a second,” Applejack said. “What—” “Don’t worry, its only a little kindness,” Fluttershy cooed. Applejack ran. ************** It didn’t work. Nothing did. Whatever they tried was a failure. Twilight and the others sighed. They were sitting in the Iron Elm Library around a table covered in papers and hay. “Bribe her?” Rainbow suggested. “Always works on me.” “No,” Twilight said resignedly. “She’s too honest to cave to bribes.” “Twilight, do you even know what honest means?” “I don’t think I do anymore.” Twilight sighed again. “Really! Is kicking ponies honest?” They all turned to look out the window where Applejack and Mrs Cake stood, Mrs Cake with a frying pan in hoof. “Honestly, Mrs. Cake, you look like you’re about to kicked in the air.” They all turned to look at Twilight. Twilight glared. They glared back. Twilight glared harder. Then there was a great chiming sound, breaking the stare down. They rushed outside to find a giant pony mech walking through Bloodville. Twilight jaw dropped. “What the fuck?” The mech stopped and two almost identical brothers jumped out of the top, lowering themselves to ground with magic. “Hello, good ponies,” one of them said. “We’ll be back later this season, but right now we’re here to announce that ponybuck season is officially over!” Applejack wiped sweat off her brow. “Thank Celestia! I’m getting pretty tired. Now, money.” The other of the two ponies produced several bags of bits and handed them to Applejack. “Don’t go prying too deep into where we got that money,” he whispered jovially to Applejack. “Just spend as much of it as you can before the police come for you. So long ponies!” he called out. “We’ll be back!” With that they teleported back into their mech and stomped off, crushing a house or too in the process. Rainbow pushed Twilight’s jaw up. “Now, our deal is off.” They had signed a truce with Twilight that lasted until Applejack stopped ponybucking. Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Applejack began to advance. Twilight threw up her hooves. “Why? FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE, WHY??????”