//------------------------------// // 04 - Xmas Eve // Story: EQUESTRIA GIRLS: Sunset's Not-Saga // by Soufriere //------------------------------// ‘Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the flat Not a creature was stirring, not even a rat No stockings were hung. No chimney, you see No mantle, no fireplace, just coat-rack and TV Wrapped in a fleece blanket, all snug on my couch My mind numbed by reruns of Oscar The Grouch Albert’s been watered and I have a nightcap Who cares if it’s still daytime? I feel like crap! Then, up on the roof there arose such a clatter I cursed like a baker who spilled his cake batter Over to my window I trudged like a schmuck Try to look upwards? You’re shoot outta luck So, why did I bother? I guess I was bored My usual state now with naught to look toward Even a strange noise may spice up my life Well, better than slicing my wrist with a knife Seriously. It hurts. I don’t recommend it unless you’re a glutton for pain which, admittedly, sometimes I am. Where was I? Oh. Right. The sun glinting off of the new-fallen snow Still managed to half-blind me from five floors below Once I regained my sight, I went out to the hall To the door to the roof, up the stairs. Just don’t fall Emerging outside, I immediately tensed It’s extremely damn cold… and I’m extremely damn dense! Why in the hell did I not wear my jacket? Guess I was distracted by all of the racket The bitter wind picked up as everything darkened At the wrong time of day. What had been hearkened? Like a total eclipse come to block out the sun And cast shadow over all, appeared The Great One While I’d seen him before, in the last chapter I think To be so close this time made my cheeks flush some pink Or was that the chilly breeze still swirling ‘round? No matter. I could not make even one sound Won’t lie; I regarded The Great One with awe For his mere presence caused my cold heart to thaw I wished that poor Jackson could see this sight too Alas, he’s gone but for some remnants of goo I asked of The Great One, “Shaq, why have you come? “Do you want to return me to where I hail from? “This world makes no sense; it’s flat and robotic “Like some jimsonweed snorting writer who’s despotic” He said not a word; merely hovered and smiled His smooth dark-skinned visage could not be defiled Tilting down slightly, his mouth opened wide With a “BAWMP!”, he released that which he held inside Four girls. One flat kid. But the other three Had literal depth and awareness, like me The flat girl stood up first but chose not to stay She said only “BURGER” then floated away The other three seemed as confused as I was Their leader had orange hair, poofy like fuzz The purple one looked like she wanted to fight The blue one saw me, blanched, and tried to take flight I tried to approach but was met by a hand The understood everywhere ‘back off’ command “Not now,” said the orange girl as they all stood “Whatever just happened to us was not good.” “Dagi,” said the purple one, “It was the worst” “More humiliating than when our pendants burst” “That was pretty bad,” the blue-skinned one agreed “But I think we’re better off now, yes indeed.” “Shut up, Sonata!” they snapped, making her cower “We’re poor, worthless, stripped of our magic and power.” “But Sunset is here,” said Sonata, voice bright “Just marry her then!” they retorted in spite Now I was confused. Did I know these three? More pressing was how in the hell they knew me I’m sure that I’ve never once seen them before But clearly two wanted to settle a score “I’m sorry,” I said, “But there’s been a mistake “I’ve never met any of you.” “That takes the cake,” ‘Dagi snipped. “Are you serious?” she then demanded I nodded; she groaned as she said, “Now we’re stranded” “It’s not quite so bad, Dagi” Sonata said “I say screw that and screw you! I’d rather be dead” Said the purple one. “Aria, that’s really bleak,” Said Sonata, but they just replied, “You’re a freak!” It was then that The Great One decided to fade With the loss of him we also lost all our shade It was far too bright with snow and afternoon sun The three girls shot through the door like a gun But I heard them exclaim ‘ere they bolted from sight, “Screw this world. Screw Sunset. Screw Discord. Screw light!” Discord? Who is that? I wondered aloud “They mean me,” said a voice coming out of a cloud The cloud spoke?! Okay, yeah, nope. That’s too much. I’m done. END.