About an hour after Twilight left the castle, lying on my bed in my room, I was trying to, as Rainbow Dash likes to say, “chillax”. I figured I’d read a couple of books, maybe solve a jigsaw puzzle, and was glad for this moment of peace. But it wouldn’t last.
What would I do when my purple shadow got back to the castle? Twilight didn’t seem ready to give up and only backed off because of her “princess duties”, but WILL be at it again.
If my memory was correct, a Unicorn’s or Alicorn’s spell can be canceled on the spot by touching their horn, if they're actively casting it. I didn’t think Twilight ever rid herself of that weakness, so it was possible for me to do the otherwise impossible: stop Twilight Sparkle’s spells without a type of anti-magic device, IF I could tap her horn in time. But, she could counter that trick by staying out of horn-catching range, or freezing me in her magical telekinesis. Then there’s the fact that it’s useless against her teleportation, and at this point, I would want her to do it!
In other words, grabbing Twilight’s horn to make her go away wasn’t an option. In fact, I couldn’t think of any options.
Right after I had finished reading one of the books, Spike came to the room's doorway. “Hey, Eric, enjoying your little...break from Twilight?”
I looked towards Spike, laid my book beside me and sat up. “Yeah, but I’m in for it when Twilight’s done at the hospital because I doubt she’s going to lay off anytime soon. If that’s not enough, with her magic, she’s too strong, so I can’t stop her! Ugh!”
Spike set a claw on his cheek and suggested, “Maybe you could hide somewhere for a while? If she doesn't know where you are, she can’t teleport to you.”
“I thought about that. But this is one of my days off from the spa, and I want to rest in the castle today before Sunset comes through the portal to see me. Plus, even if I do take off, I’ll have to eventually come back to the castle, and when I do, the Princess of Persistence would be here waiting for me!”
“Oh, yeah. In that case, you’re in trouble.”
With that little confirmation, I fell backward on my bed and groaned. “Oh, this is just great! I tell you, Spike, I love Twilight to death, but sometimes that pony's OCD--wait.” An idea popped into my head and it even made me smile. “I have an idea. Why didn’t I think of it before?!”
“What?”
“You’ll see, and I don’t want to do it, but I have no choice. I’m going to get my secret weapon to keep in here.”
“Secret weapon?”
“Yep. It’ll keep Twi away, no matter how powerful she is.”
I left my room to prepare my trump card. It was the only thing I knew of that a measly human like myself could use to fend off Princess Twilight Sparkle.
A bit later, I walked back to my room with a plate holding my ace in the hole: an extra cheesy quesadilla. Spike was still waiting, so maybe he had nothing to do if he wanted to stick around. Not that I minded.
“Is that a quesadilla?”
“Yep,” I answered while setting the plate on my dresser. “The cheesiness of quesadillas freaks her out too much to come near them, so this will be my ‘Twilight repellent’ till she cools it. This may scare her half to death if she sees it, but I’m up against an Alicorn, little bro, so I gotta use any advantage at my disposal.”
“Not bad, Eric, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of quesadillas. I’ve known her my whole life!”
“Well, I might not have known her anywhere near as long as you have, but I know our big sis pretty well too.”
“Ha, we should get the others to quiz us to see who knows her the best sometime. Anyway, with you safe from Twilight now, I’m going to go check on something.”
“Okay. See you.”
Spike left, and I closed my eyes to rest. Soon, I was out cold.
After my sudden nap, I woke up and jumped at who was staring at me beside my bed again. By now, you should know who it was.
Yep, the royal pain in the butt returned and had her paper and quill again, in addition to a closed purple box beside her on the floor. She had a creepy grin again, though it wasn't as creepy as it was before for some reason. Still, I was probably going to be seeing it in my dreams.
You have got to be kidding me.
“Oh, good, you’re up, Buggie. While giving one of my speeches, I thought of something and needed a strand of hair from the top of your head, but I couldn’t get it because you took your nap while wearing your hat.”
“Okay, how did you--where did--what happened to--” I looked to the plate of my quesadilla...and saw my Twilight repellent and the plate gone.
“Where did that quesadilla go I had on my dresser? Did you do something with it?”
“Me? Of course not! You know I never go near…*shudder*...quesadillas! But if you had one there, maybe it’s the one I saw Starlight carrying and I’m surprised my scream didn’t wake you up. But enough about quesadillas: take off your hat so big sis can get that hair!”
Buck! Starlight must have come into my room while I was in dream-land. Guess she was hungry, and didn’t want to wake me up to ask if she could have it. Either way, I was going to get her for this!
There was one desperate option left that popped in my head. I could do something to distract Twilight, throw my bed's blanket over her, run like mad, and hope I could get far enough before she could recover and teleport to my exact spot. The idea I thought to do it was one of the classics.
I pointed behind Twilight and asked, "Twi, what's that?"
Twilight turned her head. "What’s wha--hey!"
I tossed my blanket on her, jumped off my bed, and took off!
“So long, Princess of Suckers! Ha ha!”
But when I ran a few feet into the doorway, I felt an odd sensation. Next thing I knew, I was somehow sitting on my bed with Twilight giggling. My blanket was on the floor beside her. Oh, no.
“Welcome back, little bro. Have a nice trip? Did you get me anything?”
Now Twilight's tapped into her inner Discord to troll me! Guess he’s rubbed off on her way more than she knew.
I looked left and right to nothing in particular while I asked, "What happened?! What did you do?! I thought you couldn’t teleport anything that’s hidden from you, and I made it out of the room!"
"Well, I thought you would try something like what you just did, because I know you. So, when I came into your room, I cast a special type of high-level teleportation spell in the hallway that would activate one time and functions like an invisible portal. If you run through it, the spell will automatically teleport you back to your bed.”
Of course she would have expected me to do that! Lucky for me, I thought she might have done something like that: I know her too. I even had a plan to make her drop her guard a second time by tapping into her “Motherly big sister” mode. I started fake coughing and really went all-out to make it sound bad.
Twilight leaned to me with a frown. “Buggie? Are you okay? Are you sick?!”
Once she was close enough and seemed to have fully bought it, I tossed my bed sheet over her head, then ran out again! This time, I didn't say anything to tease her.
Once in the hallway, I went in the opposite direction as that “portal.” But after another several feet, I felt that odd feeling again.
Next thing I knew, I was back on my bed, with Twilight giggling again. My bed sheet was on the floor with the blanket.
“Welcome back. You still didn’t get your big sister anything?”
“B-B-But I thought you said that portal you made only worked once, and I didn't run at it anyway! Why am I back here again?!”
“I did, but I never said there was only one portal out there. Want to try again for ten bits?"
I facepalmed and moaned. Great. Not only did Twilight have me vastly overpowered, but she was too smart to outwit! I almost wanted to say "buck my life", but didn't.
"You are too strong with your spells. You know that?"
"Yep, but just let me try to find out why you stopped growing a beard! Just for a little while! Please? I neeeeed to know for Equestria's history!” Twilight formed her “begging” smile, and it was another of her adorkable ones. I should count myself lucky that Twi usually doesn't try to use her adorkableness to make me do stuff, or I'd be in trouble. In my normal mood, she would break me on the spot with a face like that; don't need to have a crush on her for that.
I didn't want to break, but here, I was plum out of options anyway. Knowing her, there were more "traps" in the hallway. Not that it mattered because she wouldn't fall for my tricks a third time: she’s too smart for that. Trying to repeat an escape would have done nothing but make that Alicorn laugh again and cost me bits. Twilight Sparkle had me, pure and simple. I flicked my arms up in defeat and said, “Okay, Twilight, you win! Do whatever spell--ow!”
Twilight didn’t even wait for me to finish before she took my hat off and pulled out a strand of hair from my head, both with her magic. After that, she got some books out from her box and resumed working to learn the deal with my beard. Twilight did some spells to try to figure it out, but nothing worked, according to her.
She also tried a bunch of...strange ideas. Some of which were levitating and holding me upside down, spinning me in her magic, and using my head as a drum while singing a song. Twi even materialized some eggs and cracked them, pouring the yolk over my face and head, and it was fitting how I had egg on my face. She must have entered "playful big sister" mode or something, because that mare seemed to enjoy doing those things to me with the giggling she let out as she did it. She even giggled during her song. At least Twi has a great singing voice.
After the fifth egg was cracked, I asked, “You haven’t figured out what’s wrong yet? I definitely don't mind your singing, but I'm getting tired of being your test subject and human drum! And what’s with the eggs? You trying to feed my hair follicles an omelet or something?”
“The eggs were to try to stimulate the hair follicles, but it’s not working. I still don’t know what’s wrong with your beard, so I’m going to go get another book that might have an answer. Stay here while I get it.”
Twilight ran out of my room, and once she was out, my own curiosity made me peek in her box. It had more books that she didn’t go through for some reason, but also something else that made my mouth drop. A syringe that’s usually seen in hospitals. It held a needle.
No. Bucking. Way.
Twilight Sparkle couldn’t be thinking of using that thing to somehow figure out why my beard stopped growing, could she? Does she even know how to use it correctly?! She’s not a doctor!
Not only that, I hate needles, so I ran out of my room! Didn’t even think about where I might go, or if I was about to run into another magical trap.
But a second after I was in the hallway, my heart sank when a voice called out, “Hey, where are you going?”
Yeah, you know who it was!
I turned to see a grinning Twilight running towards me. I said nothing, but ran faster than before down the hallways with the Princess of Pests chasing me. The thought that she might freeze me in her magic didn't even pop in my head.
“Come back! Hey, listen! I have soooooo much left to do!”
What did I do to deserve this? And why did she have to say those two words together?! Even Twilight knows I hate hearing “Hey, listen!” and it’s like she’s just picking on me now!
As Eric Reed fled from his room and from Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer and Spike stood in the hallway watching them run in the other direction.
Starlight commented, “Wow. Our brother is running fast!”
Spike said, “It still wouldn’t be fast enough if Twilight chased him at her top speed. And, Starlight?”
“Yeah, Spike?”
“When are we going to tell Eric?"
"What?"
Spike explained, "That after she left his room last night, Twilight went back to the notes she wrote and figured out why his beard stopped growing? And that ever since this morning, she’s just having fun with him?”
Starlight chuckled. “Until it either stops being funny or the ‘Princess of Playing’, as Eric might say, runs out of songs.”
Spike chuckled as well. “So, we’re not going to tell him?”
“Nope, but we'll step in if she tries to have Pinkie Pie tell him ‘Hey, listen!’ because that would be going too far. And Twilight said it’s been three weeks since she messed with Eric, so this might go on for a while before she starts feeling bad and stops.”
“It's a good thing that it's nearly impossible to get him mad with jokes, as long as it's done in fun, or she wouldn't be doing this. After Twilight tells him the truth, we will all be laughing.”
Spike and Starlight chuckled again and looked at their respective open bags of popcorn beside them. They were thankful for already having them before Twilight told them her plan earlier that morning before sending Starlight to his bedroom’s door.
The pair also made a mental note to inform Eric that Twilight was not going to run tests on him to deduce why he remained in human form in Equestria. Just in case Twilight forgot to tell him herself.
Another half-hour later, Twilight finally told Eric that Equestrian magic forced his face’s hair follicles into an arrested state and apologized for getting a little carried away. He declined her offer to reverse the effect. And as Spike said, Twilight, Eric, Spike, and Starlight shared a group laugh over Twilight's joke.