“And presto! The bit was behind your ear all along!”
Piggy snorted, rolling his eyes as Pixie drew her hoof back from his head, the coin she’d made vanish a moment ago now perched on top of her outstretched foreleg. “What a stupid trick,” he huffed. “That was even more boring than that one with the cards.”
Years of professionalism kept Pixie’s smile in place. “Well, maybe you’ll like this next one a little better. Observe: an ordinary hankie,” she began, holding up an unremarkable square of white cloth. “But when I wave my hooves over it and say the magic words, presto change-o, it becomes-”
“Laaame,” groaned Piggy, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling of the solarium. “You’re just gonna make it into a whole bunch of hankies tied together or a couple of pigeons or a bouquet of flowers or something dumb like that.”
“…not necessarily,” retorted Pixie weakly, surreptitiously discarding the flowers that she’d been about to reveal.
“This is so boring!” Kicking his legs in the air in frustration, Piggy grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at the door in frustration. “When’s Mama gonna be done with whatever her big emergency is?! She’s gotta hurry up and tell Granola Bar to apologize to me already!”
It was all Pixie could do not to sigh. Before she’d started trying to entertain him, Piggy had gone on at length about how somepony named Granola Bar had been really unfair to him, getting angry and denying him some ice cream after he’d called out two mares who had been mean to him before. And while Pixie had quickly come to the conclusion that River’s son was a spoiled brat, she couldn’t help but feel slightly chagrined at how flat her tricks had fallen. Overgrown children should have been easy to keep mesmerized with feats of prestidigitation and legerdemain, but after years of serving as an assistant to her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Pixie was painfully aware of how all of the magic she could do by herself was too modest to even keep one fat little stallion amused.
The thought was depressing enough that it drove her to change tactics. Since she didn’t have any smoke bombs, the old “magician’s exit” was out. But there were plenty of other ways to make herself disappear without Piggy making a fuss about it.
“Well, how about this then?” Pixie ventured after a moment’s pause, her smile never slipping. “Why don’t I go and see if I can conjure you up some ice cream?”
Piggy sat up at that, his eyes suddenly sparkling. “Really?!”
“Sure thing,” grinned Pixie, moving toward the door just a little too hastily. “I’ll go see if I can find some right now.”
“Finally! It’s about time somepony thought about what I want for a change!” Without so much as a hint of gratitude, Piggy pointed her toward the door, eager for her to get going. “Make sure you get at least five scoops, and make each one a different kind of ice cream! And I want chocolate sauce too! And get some of those new sprinkles that they have in Canterlot, where each one has a different flavor! In fact, make the entire thing a banana split, with lots of whipped cream too! Are you writing this down?”
“Don’t worry,” reassured Pixie as she slipped out the door, struggling to keep her friendly demeanor in place just a little longer. “Very soon you’ll have what we in the entertainment business call ‘just desserts.’”
She closed the door to the sound of Piggy’s happy squeal, her double entendre having gone right over his head. Which in your case will be receiving no desserts at all, she thought to herself as she finally let her smile drop, her ears following suit as she turned and began trudging down the hallway of her friend’s humongous manor.
Not for the first time that afternoon, Pixie found herself wondering if she’d made the right decision following River back to her manor. But it wasn’t like she’d had much choice. After refusing to be part of Prince Blueblood’s entourage, she doubted she’d be welcomed back on his yacht, even if it technically belonged to River. Not knowing anypony in that pop-up village they’d briefly come across outside of Vanhoover proper, Pixie had been left with little alternative but to go to River’s manor, trailing her friend and those doctors as they’d rushed Lex Legis and several other injured ponies back to the palatial residence.
Once they’d gotten there and the doctors had been able to get to work in earnest, Pixie had tried to ask River what was going on, having a ton of questions by that point. But River had brushed her off, instead having a servant show her to the solarium, where River’s son Piggy (whom Pixie had never met until then) had also been waiting. It hadn’t taken long for Pixie to realize that she and Piggy had both been pushed to the side, apparently being distractions from River’s focusing on what happened to Lex Legis.
But why is she so worried about that guy? Not only did he apparently insult Princesses Celestia and Luna somehow, he also deliberately antagonized Prince Blueblood! Just the thought of making an enemy out of royalty was unfathomable. It was like asking to be an outcast. Except nopony seemed upset…
That had been particularly disturbing. Long years of working as a show assistant had given Pixie a trained eye where crowds were concerned, and her read on the one she’d just seen had been that they all supported Lex wholeheartedly, even after he’d all but spit in Blueblood’s face. It had been unnerving to witness.
But not nearly as much as seeing Rainbow Dash – an honest-to-goodness hero – come flying in out of nowhere and attack Lex like that.
And Lex downed her. Despite the fact that Rainbow Dash had clearly had the upper hoof for most of the fight, Pixie could still remember the way the colorful pegasus had screamed during that last dive, losing her grip on Lex as somepony else flew in to save him, letting Rainbow Dash hit the ground hard.
The entire thing had left Pixie brimming with questions, particularly after having seen how Vanhoover was trash-strewn and deserted, and the way the area around Lex had been cratered and strewn with rubble. And while Pixie didn’t consider herself to be a snoop or a gossip, she was reaching her limit for not knowing what was happening. You couldn’t be in the middle of so much madness for long before it became impossible to not go looking for answers.
Besides, it’s not like I’m going to go read River’s diary or anything, Pixie reassured herself as she wandered through the hallways. I just need to find somepony who can tell me what’s going- “OH!”
Stopping dead as she turned a corner, Pixie froze, her eyes widening as she stared at the creature standing a few feet in front of her. A pony from the waist down, she looked like some sort of skinny, shaven minotaur from the waist up, except with caramel-colored skin and no horns. And her eyes…the white film over them made them look almost blank. In the dim light of the hallway, the thing was arresting, so much so that Pixie only barely noticed a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail cringing behind the creature, so captivated was she by the sight of the anomalous entity.
“Oh great,” sighed the thing, spreading her forelimbs – arms? – out wide, as though presenting herself. “Go ahead. Get a good look so you can tell everypony about the-”
“Most amazing and exotic creature ever!” blurted Pixie, unable to help herself upon hearing the creature speak.
“Right, the most amaz-, wait, what?” Jerking its – no, her; the voice definitely had a female pitch to it – head back, the half-pony was looking at her in shock. “You…you don’t think I look…freakish?” Despite her eyes being covered, she glanced back at the pegasus hiding behind her, as though silently asking her to confirm that this was really happening.
“I think you look like a star!” Unable to help herself, Pixie trotted forward, her eyes shining as she walked right up to the thing. “My name's Pixie! Have you ever considered show business? Because if you haven’t then you definitely should! You’re a natural draw!”
“Um, excuse me…” began the pegasus mare in a soft voice.
But Pixie was too far gone to hear her. Standing up on her hind legs, she reached out to take one of the flummoxed creature’s hands between her fore-hooves, holding it in excitement. “Do you know any magic tricks? I mean, stage magic tricks? Because if you don’t, I can teach you!”
“I’m really sorry to interrupt,” tried the quiet mare again. “But we-”
“With your looks and my experience, we could be the greatest team ever to grace the stage! The most powerful act in the history of Las Pegasus! No, in all of Equestria!”
“Please listen,” pleaded the pegasus quietly. “We’re just trying to-”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine with being your assistant!” continued Pixie. “I’ll handle all of the behind-the-scenes work too! All you’d need to do is learn the tricks and how to present yourself, and you’ll be a legend! Ooh, and we should think of some names you could use!”
“She has a name!”
Blinking as the pink-maned pegasus suddenly interposed herself between her and the creature, Pixie fell back, taken by surprise at the stern look on the other mare’s face. “Huh?”
“She has a name!” repeated the pegasus, her voice quiet but firm. “It’s Soft Mane! And she doesn’t like it when ponies make a fuss over her appearance just because she looks different from you or me! So please try to be a little more considerate of other ponies’ feelings in the future!”
“Fluttershy, it’s okay,” piped up Soft Mane, her voice hesitant. “I was just surprised. That’s not usually the reaction I get when I meet ponies for the first time.”
“Oh.” Settling back down, Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane bashfully, cheeks turning red as she looked at Pixie. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay,” smiled Pixie. “I’m the one who should apologize. I accidentally slipped into my stage persona there for a moment. I don’t usually…” That was when she processed what she’d just heard. “Wait. ‘Fluttershy’?” Pixie’s eyes widened as she looked at the pegasus again, suddenly realizing who she was talking to. “You’re the Element of Kindness!”
Cringing at the excited tone in the other mare’s voice, Fluttershy backed up a step. “W-well, it’s not that I was the Element. It’s just that I could use it…for a little while I mean…until we all gave them up.” Her voice getting progressively more and more quiet, she retreated another step, her timid demeanor in sharp contrast to the assertiveness she’d shown just a moment ago. “I’m sorry if that’s disappointing.”
Dazed, Pixie shook her head. “No, I just didn’t expect…” The light bulb went off over her head then. “Of course, you’re Rainbow Dash’s friend, and she showed up earlier. So does that mean that Princess Twilight and the other Elements-, er, the other ponies who used to have the Elements of Harmony are also here?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, we’re looking for-”
“Lex Legis,” finished Pixie, starting to see how this was all tying together, even if she didn’t understand it all yet.
“Actually, she was going to say ‘the bathroom,’ but you’re right. We’re here because of that…guy.” Soft Mane looked like she’d only barely caught herself from using a different term to describe Lex. “Do you know him?”
Pixie shook her head. “No, I’ve never met him. But I’m pretty sure my friend River knows him, since she brought him back here to her house after he was, um, injured.” She said that last part with an awkward glance at Fluttershy. She’d deliberately omitted the part about River pledging to help Lex duel with Prince Blueblood, not wanting to make her friend look bad, only to realize too late that she had no idea how Fluttershy felt about her Rainbow Dash ambushing Lex like that.
Fortunately, Fluttershy didn’t seem upset. Instead, she looked pleasantly surprised. “You know River Bank?”
“That’s great!” Soft Mane was suddenly all smiles. “We’ve been trying to talk to Sonata for a little while now, and that old butler said he’d take some ponies we brought to vouch for us to River Bank, but we haven’t heard back from anyone yet. Do you think you can help us with that?”
Although she wasn’t sure who “Sonata” was, Pixie’s eyes lit up. Despite having been snapped out of her stage persona, she still couldn’t stop thinking about how much of an attraction Soft Mane could be up on stage. For us to meet like this when I’m in need of a new partner, and her needing to meet somepony I know, this has to be destiny! She felt sure of it, to the point where she was amazed that her cutie mark wasn’t glowing. “Absolutely! In fact, I’ll take you to her right now!”
“Even better!” grinned Soft Mane, and Pixie smiled in response.
Only Fluttershy looked nervous. “But, um, shouldn’t we go back and talk to Twilight and the others first?”
“And interrupt Spike’s vigil over Rarity?” snorted Soft Mane, her voice turning sour. “I’d hate to bother him when he’s doing something so important. It’s not like I’m his girlfriend or anything.”
Despite not knowing the details of what Soft Mane was talking about, Pixie couldn’t help but make a rueful expression, remembering her wayward husband. “Stallions,” she murmured with a shake of her head. “C’mon, I’ll take you to River.”
Biting her lip as the pair began to leave, Fluttershy glanced back the way they’d come before returning her gaze to the retreating pair. “I really think we should…”
Groaning as she realized neither of them were listening to her, she did the only thing she could as she hurried after them. “Can we at least stop and use the bathroom on the way there?”