//------------------------------// // 562 - Settle It Like Stallions // Story: Lateral Movement // by Alzrius //------------------------------// “-WHILE I’M AT WORK! WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!” “WELL EXCUSE ME FOR THINKING THAT SOMEPONY ELSE COULD DANCE ATTENDANCE ON HIS ROYAL PRETENTIOUSNESS FOR A FEW MINUTES! I GUESS HE JUST REALLY NEEDS TO KEEP YOU CLOSE BY ALL THE TIME, HUH?!” “DON’T YOU DARE START WITH THAT AGAIN!” The lack of adequate soundproofing in River’s manor made itself known to Lex for the second time that day as he approached the study, the raised voices of Feather Duster and Tryout reaching his ears well in advance of his arrival and causing him to grit his teeth. But it wasn’t the latter’s insult toward him that blackened Lex’s already-foul mood. Nor was it that the two of them were apparently more concerned with their personal problems than with the serious accusation that had been leveled against Tryout and the attendant difficulties it had caused with the loan negotiations. Rather, what bothered Lex most was the possibility that Cleansweep might be close enough to hear her parents fighting. The odds of that were low, but not so low that he felt comfortable dismissing the possibility. She and her friends made a habit of playing outside most mornings, but they typically came back to the manor for lunch, and it was getting close to that time now. Even if River’s study wasn’t anywhere near the children’s quarters, he hadn’t assigned them any new homework recently; it was entirely possible that Cleansweep would indulge her special talent by looking for an empty room to clean, potentially coming close enough to overhear her mother and father yelling at each other. That was something Lex wanted to avoid. Despite how well she and her friends had taken to the lessons he’d given them in using their powers responsibly – to say nothing of the valor that they had consistently demonstrated even before he taken them under his tutelage – the possibility of an emotionally-distraught little girl with goddess-given powers wasn’t a situation that he wanted to deal with. Particularly not now, with so much else happening that required his attention. As such, when Lex barged into the study a few seconds later, he hadn’t even fully crossed the threshold before he hissed at the pair of ponies within, “The two of you lower your voices at once!” Feather Duster immediately complied, bowing down. “Your Highness, I’m so sorry about what happened! My husband-” “Well well well,” sneered Tryout, apparently in no mood to let his wife speak for him. “If it isn’t Freaky Deaky himself, come to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.” Jeering, he glanced at his wife before looking back at Lex with a scowl. “At least this time it’s just his nose, isn’t that right, honey?” “Tryout,” groaned Feather Duster, her voice strangled. “Show the prince respect!” “Some prince,” scoffed Tryout, not taking his eyes off of the stallion glowering at him. “I might have missed the show, but I asked around while I was looking for you.” He pointed a hoof at Lex accusingly. “This guy didn’t become royalty because he did anything all that great! He just beat up two other ponies, one of whom is an Equestrian hero! And you really think a guy like this should be giving lessons to our daughter?!” Still prostrating herself, Feather Duster tensed, but Lex didn’t give her a chance to reply. “Somepony responsible had to,” he shot back. “And regardless of what you think about how I obtained my crown, the fact is that I was here to give Cleansweep the guidance she needed, while you were apparently off robbing rich ponies in Las Pegasus.” Tryout’s eyes widened. “Oh, you self-righteous piece of-” “Tryout!” Flinging herself up, Feather Duster interposed herself between her husband and Lex. “Stop! Just stop!” Risking a glance over her shoulder at Lex, she paused just long enough to confirm that a curse wasn’t incoming before she turned back to the irate pegasus. “Listen, I know that I haven’t been the most attentive wife since you got back, and I’m sorry about that, okay? I’m sorry! But please, don’t pick a fight with Prince Legis!” “Why?” scoffed Tryout. “Because your boyfriend here will put some awful curse on me?” He looked Lex dead in the eye then, stepping out from behind Feather Duster as he flared his wings. “Well go ahead, pal! Do your worst! Because if you wanna keep giving it to Feather right under my nose, that’s what it’s going to take!” That was unexpected enough to bring Lex to a halt, furrowing his brows in confusion. “…what?” “You heard me!” Giving an angry beat of his wings, Tryout pointed first at his wife – who had her face in her hooves, groaning – and then at Lex. “I know that you’re doing her! And I’m not going to stand for it!” Rearing upright, Tryout held his forelegs in front of him. “C’mon! You’re supposed to a tough guy, right?! Mister dragonslayer and devil-killer and whatever else you’re calling yourself?! Let’s you and me settle this like stallions; winner gets the girl!” “I’m sorry,” moaned Feather Duster, giving Lex a miserable look. “I told him it’s not true, but he wouldn’t listen.” For his part, Lex wasted several seconds trying to figure out how it had come to this, especially since he had deliberately eschewed doing the very thing that Tryout was accusing him of. Finally deciding that comprehending the source of the misunderstanding was less important than putting it to rest so that more pressing things could be dealt with, he looked back at Tryout with a scowl. “You are laboring under a severe misapprehension,” he growled. “Your wife and I are not-” “I’ll misapprehend your face!” Tryout’s angry shout was the only warning he gave before he sprang forward, one hoof cocked back. But that was warning enough. Rainbow Dash had been sufficiently fast that, even after announcing her presence, Lex hadn’t been able to react before she’d collided with him. Tryout, by contrast, had nowhere near her speed. Despite being only a few feet away, his sudden rush forward – telegraphed well in advance – gave Lex ample time to call upon the dark magic of his horn, turning into a shadow before Tryout could reach him. “Huh?!” His eyes widening in shock, Tryout was unable to arrest his momentum in time, passing right through Lex and colliding face-first with the door behind him. The impact was enough to make the door rattle in its frame, and Tryout groaned as he hit the ground on his back, staring up at the ceiling in a daze. “Idiot,” spat Lex contemptuously as he made black crystals grow out of the floor. Unlike the jagged spikes he’d inadvertently raised back in the conference room, these had deliberate shape, forming thick bands that reached out to curl around Tryout’s legs, wings, waist, and neck, pinning him to the ground. It took the stunned pegasus several seconds to realize what had happened, blinking in surprise as he found himself unable to get up. “What?!” he grunted, straining with all his might to break free. But all he accomplished was exhausting himself, panting as his strength ran out. “Should’ve known you’d fight as creepy as you look…” “Tryout…” Feather’s face was mournful as she took a step toward her imprisoned husband. But she advanced no further, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath, holding it for just a moment before turning to face the mass of darkness that was her employer. “Are you alright, Your Highness?” “As though a simpleton like him could actually pose a threat to me,” snorted Lex as he resumed physical form. “Feather…” Glaring up at where his wife was moving to stand by Lex, Tryout fixed her with a look of supreme bitterness. “I can’t believe you chose some weirdo playboy over me, your daughter’s father!” “It’s not like that, Tryout.” Sagging in place, Feather Duster looked down. “He said no to me.” Lex gave her a sideways glance as Tryout’s eyes widened, the immobilized stallion unable to hide his shock. “Wait, what?!” “I offered myself to him, and he turned me down,” confirmed Feather Duster. It took her a moment, but she made herself look Tryout in the eye as she continued. “I didn’t do it by choice. Miss Bank ordered me to. She thought that giving Mas-, Prince Legis a pretty girl to play with would endear her to him, and she threatened us – me and Cleansweep – if I didn’t comply. I delayed as long as I could, but eventually I went to his bedroom…and he refused my advances.” Visibly stunned, Tryout looked back and forth between the two other ponies in the room before swallowing, his indignation withering. “Why didn’t you tell me that before now?” The question made Feather grimace. “Because it’s not a story I’m proud of! Being treated like that…like I was some sort of knickknack to be traded around rather than a pony, and being too weak to stop it…” Her ears folded back as she looked down again. “I didn’t want you to find out about that.” “But…but what about the rumors?!” sputtered Tryout. “I heard some maids saying earlier today that you two were getting it on!” “I know,” sighed Feather. “And you believed rumors and gossip over the word of your own wife.” “To say nothing of over my word,” interjected Lex, having grown tired of watching the pair’s marital drama play out. “And while I have every intention of making River Bank face justice for what she did – based on your wife’s recommendation – that justice has been suspended until after my conference with the Las Pegasus ponies is concluded. A conference,” he growled, giving Tryout a baleful look, “that has been disrupted by your allegedly having stolen from one of the ponies I’ve brought here. As such, that allegation” – his eyes began to glow as he spoke, revealing that his patience had reached its limit – “is one that I’ll have you answer for now.” Gulping, Tryout managed to give a rictus grin. “Okay, you know what? I think you’re gonna laugh at this, since that’s one big misunderstanding too, just like this was. In fact, do you suppose I could get a mulligan on the whole ‘fight me for the girl’ thing? Because if I’d known the truth from the get-go, it never would have come to that.” “No,” responded Lex coldly. “Had you limited your misbehavior to mere asperity, I could have overlooked that. My administration is one that respects the rights of ponies to express themselves even in an odious manner.” He lowered his head then, bringing his face to within a few inches of Tryout’s as he bared his teeth. “But you dared to strike at me,” he hissed. “Whatever the truth about what happened between you and Gladmane, that is not something I’ll forgive!” “B-babe!” whimpered Tryout, squirming ineffectually in his bonds. “Babe, c’mon! Tell him this is partially your fault too! You owe me!” Despite her melancholy over her husband’s actions, Feather Duster frowned a little. “Excuse me? I ‘owe you’?” “For the other night, remember?” gulped Tryout. “When I just wanted to spend some time with you, and you went off the deep end and kicked me for no reason?” “For no reason…?” echoed Feather Duster incredulously as she stared at Tryout. “You actually…after everything that’s just happened you still think…” She couldn’t seem to finish, her jaw working silently as she stared at Tryout for a long moment before finally shaking her head. “Just tell Prince Legis what he wants to know,” she said at last, a disgusted tone entering her voice, “and maybe he’ll let you off with only a mild curse.” “Babe!” wailed Tryout, gaping at her with a betrayed look. “You would do well to listen to your wife’s advice,” admonished Lex darkly as he made his way to the large chair at the end of the study. “The best you can hope for at this point is to not irritate me further.” “Now,” announced Lex as he seated himself, Feather Duster moving to stand at attention at his left as he gazed imperiously down at Tryout’s prone form. “Tell me what happened between you and Gladmane.”