//------------------------------//
// January 8th 1012 
// Story: The Story of a Yonderhill Pony: The Battle of Yonderhill 
// by gmoyes 
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I’ve been too busy and too tired to write. Too many ponies are getting injured and at all hours explosions are going off. 

I drew the line today. Fractal Flake was dragged in by a few other members of the weather with his leg blown off at the hip. I was the closest medical professional they knew of and got him here as fast as they could. Blood was still pumping from the wound and there wasn’t enough leg left to get a good tourniquet around. 

Flake bled out on the table in front of me.

I lost it.

I told the weather team to go to Tartarus and take Flake’s corpse with them. To let everypony know I wasn’t going to help anypony ever again. I slammed and locked the door behind them.

What kind of caregiver, no, what kind of pony does that? This wasn’t Harmony? 

I cried, curled up next to Miriam until Heartland came to visit me. He came as soon as he heard what happened. He wanted to comfort me and said that he understood what I was going through. Of course he did, how many ponies did he fail to save over the last few days? Still, even now he sees himself as a father figure to me, instead of just a mentor and partner. It is a little overbearing at times, but he did help me calm down with his kind words. He said it was ok for me to be overwhelmed, no pony should ever work like this. If I needed to stop, I could. No pony would force me.

But then he told me the bad news. The Changelings had captured the hospital. There were only the army medics and a few volunteers like himself left. They needed my help more than ever.

I said no. Well, I used much stronger language than that, but the meaning is the same. I couldn’t stand to see another pony die for this lost cause. I wouldn’t allow myself to prolong the suffering of Yonderhill. 

Heartland seemed… guilty. He apologized, saying that he had to ask. There were ponies out there that desperately needed help and he couldn’t do it all on his own. But he said that he understood. He couldn’t ask me to make the same sacrifices he has. 

I told him that he could stay here with me, that he didn’t have to make any more sacrifices. He said it was already too late for him, the Changelings have seen him helping our soldiers, so he’s a target for them. He said it was a risk to even come here to the clinic. 

I told him to get out. If the Changelings knew him, he was putting me and Miriam’s lives at risk just by being here. How could he be so foolish to do such a thing?! His efforts were only going to get more ponies killed! They already have gotten more ponies killed, I saw the euthanasia drugs! 

He looked hurt. I didn’t care, the sooner he left the better. He asked if he could take more supplies. I conceded and allowed him, but I’d rushed him out as soon as I could.

I’ll never be sure if those were tears in his eyes as he went out the door.

I just threw Heartland under the bus. If he dies, those would be the last things I said to him. I might never see him again. 

Does it matter? Why can nopony else see how futile this is? Why can’t we lose already?