A lone pickup truck sped down an empty road, passing by construction vehicles. Mike gripped the steering wheel as he drove. “Stupid, stupid!” he snarled out. He glanced to his side at the passenger seat, and the suit of plate armor and sword lying there. Last year Celestia had crafted Mike a suit of armor and sword in order for him to aid in their fight against Tirac. It, like most of his and Megan's possessions, had survived tucked away in a storage warehouse during Neo-Equestria's invasion. He hadn't given it much thought, but was now glad for it.
Mike glanced left and right at the seemingly-abandoned construction vehicles, some bearing the logo of the company he worked for. He lifted his foot off the truck's gas pedal and steered to the side of the road. “That's not right,” he mumbled. “The equipment shouldn't be abandoned like this.”
The truck slowed to a stop. Mike put it in park, grabbed his armor and sword and strapped the former on before exiting his vehicle. He looked around, sword held up in something resembling a ready position. “Gordon?” he shouted. “Maria? Gina? Is anyone here?”
“We're all here, Mike. Good for you to join us here on the street.”
Mike whipped around at the voice. He relaxed slightly as he spotted an older man with dark skin, a bald head and thick mustache. “Oh, Mister Robinson!” he said, lowering his sword. “Am I glad to see you!” he said to the owner of the construction company he worked for. “What's going on? Where is everybody, and why are the vehicles left unattended like this?”
A voice from behind drew Mike's attention. He spun around and spotted a younger woman with strawberry-blond hair, cut shoulder-length. “We're seeing the people in the neighborhood, in the neigh-borhood!” Gina Jefferson, one of Mike's coworkers, said. Her voice rose and fell with each word, each step that she took towards Mike. “Would you like to see the people in the neighborhood?”
Mike took a step back with every step Gina took forward. His hands twitched around his sword's handle. “Gina, darling? Pardon me for asking–I know you can get a bit... new age, but what the hell are you talking about?”
Gina spread her arms out. “I baked some cookies for you, Mike! I baked enough cookies for the whole world!”
Mounds of dirt near bulldozers suddenly exploded, the flying clods turning into cookies in mid-flight. They flew around in circles for a bit before stopping for a few seconds, then flying right at Mike.
Mike's eyes bugged out. “Oh... SHIT!” he shouted. He brought his shield up as the cookies flew at him, letting them batter against the enchanted metal. Each one that hit broke apart, falling to the ground and turning into dirt and grass. His sword slashed through the air, slicing apart cookies and changing them from the cursed confectioneries into their original forms.
Gina gasped. “My cookies! You don't like my cookies?” Her mouth stretched out, impossibly wide, while her eyes spun about inside their sockets. “NO ONE REJECTS MY COOKIES!”
Mike swallowed and took several steps back. He swung his shield between Gina and Gordon, eyes following suit. “Gina-GINA!” he shouted. “Snap out of it, kid! I don't know what's happened to you, but you can fight it!”
Gordon spoke. “She's part of the street now, Mike. You'll be part of the street, too! You're not like us now, but you will be! One of these people here doesn't belong, but he'll belong with us!”
Mike stared at him for a few seconds. “Okay, you've gone crazy. Got it.” Motion just inside his peripheral vision caught his attention. He ducked as a few more cookies flew at him. “Okay, this is magic!” he shouted as he spun about, sword swinging. “And it's pretty insane.” Mike's breath hitched in his throat. “Son of a-Discord?” He growled as he destroyed more flying cookies. “Gordon! Gina! You gotta fight it, somehow!”
Gordon and Gina started walking towards Mike, their strides covering far more distance than possible. “Why?” Gordon asked, quirking an eyebrow. “We're humans, Mike. We should work with Discord. Chaos is our nature. We should embrace it, not fight it.”
Mike snorted. “Says the man who has a spreadsheet for the ties he wears.” He glanced down at his sword, shield, and armor, then at Gina and Gordon. His eyes wandered around the construction site, noting the clods of dirt that once threatened him. Gears started turning in his head. “Okay, sword and shield's stopping their attacks, turning them back into whatever Gina started out with. And she hasn't been turning what I struck back into those... things.” Mike brought his shield up, deflecting more attacks. “Quit it, will you? I'm trying to think of a way to save you so I can get to Megan and–” He rolled his eyes and groaned. “Stupid, stupid!”
Mike blinked-and Gina and Gordon were there, standing in front of him. Gina reached out with her arms, the limbs stretching out around Mike. “MEGAN?” she yelled. Her eyes began bulging completely out of their sockets as spittle flew from her mouth. “She doesn't like my cookies either, does she! I'll show that ungrateful–”
Mike brought his shield up and slammed it full-force into Gina's face. A blindingly-bright yellow light flashed at the point of impact as the young woman was sent flying. “Don't you dare threaten my wife!” he roared. Mike then swung his sword at Gordon, catching his boss with the flat of the blade. “And this is just in case you're even thinking about it!”
Gina and Gordon were both tossed into the air and landed on the dirt with loud thuds. Gina stared up at the sky, eyes glassy. “What...” she groaned out, wincing.
Gordon managed to land in less of a crumpled heap, but he still landed hard on his side. His face twisted and his eyes screwed shut. “Get out of me!” he snarled, banging the side of his shaved head with the palms of both hands.
Mike swallowed. “Oh, no.” He ran towards the two, but stopped roughly halfway between the two. Mike looked from Gina to Gordon, then back again before going to Gina. “Hey, Gina? Are you–”
Gina sat up, eyes wide. She held her hands out as her breath quickened. “No, no! Get away from me!” She scooted back, waving her hands in front of her. “Mister Robinson, HELP!”
Mike dropped his sword and shield and grabbed Gina's shoulders. “Gina, Gina! It's all right, kid! It's gone, whatever it is.”
Gina panted for a few minutes before swallowing. She looked to Mike, eyes wide. “M-Mike? What happened? I was getting some equipment ready for laying pipes down. Then some... some thing appeared in my vision and started cackling, about how humans were 'his kind of people.” She screwed her eyes shut and shook her head. “And then I'm here and you're standing over me and–” Her eyes snapped back open and she looked to her left. “Mister Robinson!”
Mike helped Gina to her feet and the two walked over to where Gordon still lay. Mike held out a hand to him. “Mister Robinson, you all right? Your back? Your... anything?”
Gordon looked Mike's gauntleted hand over for a second before taking it and allowing himself to be helped to his feet. “Not exactly the treatment I'd want all the time, Mike, but thanks for knocking that thing out of me.” He waggled a finger around Mike's chest. “So that armor and sword and shield. That's what Princess Celestia gave you when you fought Tirac a little over a year ago, right?”
Mike looked himself over before nodding. “Yeah. I figured it wouldn't hurt, you know?”
Gina looked Mike over. “Got a spare suit in your truck?” She glanced over her shoulder in the general direction of the Rainbow Bridge, her breath hitching slightly. “I just-I'm really not wanting to go through that again. Ever.”
Mike's expression fell. “Sorry, Gina. Celestia only made me the one set. I wish I had something else for you or Mister Robinson.”
Gordon shook his head. “It's all right, Mike. Thank you for freeing us from Discord's magic.” He looked around. “I'm not sure where the rest of my employees are, or even what happened to them. I know Gina and I were the ones closest to the Rainbow Bridge and Equestria, at least when all this went down.”
Mike nodded to him. “I'll keep an eye out for anyone as I go in deeper.” he pointed his sword in the direction he came from. “I'd recommend putting some distance between you and the Rainbow Bridge. Stuff seemed normal at Cade Yeager's house.” He paused. “Well, as normal as it gets there, at least.”
Gordon nodded to Mike. He walked over and placed a hand on Gina's shoulders. “Come along, Miss Jefferson. I'll drive us down a ways from here.” He looked to Mike. “I know since you're going in to help your wife no force in this universe can stop you, so I won't try and dissuade you from your course of action.” His expression softened. “Just please be careful, Mike. You're a... valuable asset to the company.”
Gina smiled. “And a good friend.”
Gordon nodded to her. “And a... good friend, yes.”
Mike chuckled. “That's the nicest thing you've ever said about me, Mister Robinson.” he tossed his boss a salute before turning and making his way back to his truck.
Fish-shaped blobs of water swam around in pools of bluebirds. A bulldozer that Mike knew wasn't a Transformer did a dance with a backhoe, while several animals with extended legs watched and held up scorecards. Other, even stranger activities transpired as he drove to the Rainbow Bridge, making him more than a little dizzy or confused. “Since when can that stuff squeeze through pipes that narrow?”
His gaze turned ahead, to what was clearly Discord sitting on a throne floating over a checkerboard pattern splayed out across the ground. Discord sipped a teacup, then tossed the tea over his shoulder. The liquid flowed into the shape of a bird before exploding into confetti. “Ah, Mister Richards!” Discord said, spreading his mismatched arms wide. “How lovely it is to meet Megan's other half.” He paused. “Well, maybe her other quarter.”
Mike rolled his eyes as he slowed his truck down. He opened the door, but stopped and pulled out a set of ear plugs from his glove compartment and slid them into his ears just enough so they wouldn't fall out before exiting. Mike hefted his sword and shield as he stepped forward. “What did you do to her? What'd you do to Twilight and her friends?”
Discord's eyes rolled about in their sockets, turning into dice. They fell back and he spat them out of his mouth, sending them at Mike. They landed at his feet. “A bad roll of the dice, I'm afraid,” Discord said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Mike grunted. “So what are you doing here instead of screwing with Equestria?”
The dice vanished. Discord's empty eye sockets closed, opening and revealing his eyes once more. “Who says I'm not?” He turned around, his lithe body corkscrewing about as he faced the Rainbow Bridge. “Honestly, Mike! You humans can be so linear and three-dimensional sometimes. Embrace your inherently chaotic nature a bit more, kid.” He vanished, reappearing at Mike's left. “And ditch the armor. You must be roasting in it.”
Mike let out a yelp and shuffled to the side. He slashed at Discord, but the blade sliced through nothing but air. He paused, then spun about and stabbed, missing Discord's serpentine midsection by inches.
Discord's body writhed about as he dodged Mike's thrust. “How rude! What did I do to you? Ugh, humans! So violent and quick to anger.” His eyes twinkled. “No wonder that other Celestia wanted to turn you all into ponies.”
Mike stumbled a bit before regaining his balance. “Oh, like we haven't heard that one a hundred times before, Discord.” He jabbed an armored finger at Discord. “Now what. Did you do. To Megan?”
The draconequus smirked. “Oh, I simply had a tea party with her before attending to other business.” He snapped his claws and a crudely-drawn picture of Megan appeared in thin air. She held up a stick-figure arm and a hastily-scrawled scroll appeared in the ball of a hand. “You'd be so proud of her. She's unlocking her true potential.” His eyes gleamed. “Or maybe not so proud as... jealous?”
There was a pause before Mike lowered his sword and shield. “Jealous? Of my wife?” He barked a laugh. “I'm proud of her, you mean! She's done so much, helped out so many. She's made the world a better place. Two worlds, really.”
Discord's eyes narrowed by the slightest bit. “Of course, of course.” He waved Mike off. “Proud husband and all that.” He leaned forward and stretched his body out towards Mike, making sure to keep out of range of Mike's sword. “And if I was talking about having tea parties with pony princesses or founding nations, that would be one thing. What I mean by her true potential is what Queen Celestia did to her. Remember when she got turned into that alicorn? Had all that power?”
Mike slowly nodded. “And then with help from the Moochik and Granny Bonnie it got all sealed away. What about it?”
“Well, you humans have certain laws of physics and nature. Some of them make me laugh, but one of them?” A robe and mortar hat appeared on Discord's body, while a chalkboard flared to life next to him. Various chalk drawings sprung to life on the green surface. “Matter and energy can't be destroyed, merely changed from one form to another. Now that? You kids got that one right, at least.” Discord's robe and hat vanished. He tapped his claws together and bared his fangs in a rictus of a smile. “Now where do you think all that power Megan had went to? It wasn't destroyed or changed into anything, after all.”
Mike stared at Discord. He slowly smiled and shook his head. “Ah, I get it. You're trying to make me jealous, hate my wife, mother of my kids?” He tapped the side of his helmet. “Not gonna happen, you bastard. I know your kind. You'll talk and talk and worm your way into my mind, but not me. Not a chance.”
Discord' threw his arms into the air, along with his legs and spleen. “Oh, you think you're so special? Well, you're not. Megan on the other hand is. She's got all that power, and you don't think it'll change her? Corrupt her? I bet-”
“Sorry, Discord!” Mike shouted. “I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out what you're saying!” he waved his sword over his chestplate. “And I bet you can't do anything about it, because you haven't done anything to me since I got here other than talk. You even avoided my blade instead of, I don't know, making it turn into butter or a bird or something like that.”
Fire danced in Discord's eyes. “You think you can really defeat me, even a portion of Discord, Such as I am?”
Mike shrugged, his shoulder pads bouncing. “You're not omnipotent. You're not really Discord, just a portion of him. And you at least think you can be harmed. You did something to my wife, and Danielle's in Ponyville going through God knows what. I don't know what I can do to you, but I'll be damned if I don't try.”