"You want me to be your... g-girlfriend?" Rainbow Dash stuttered, still shocked. Soarin could guess why. They both pretty much saw each other as only teammates, so naturally it'd be a surprise.
"Yep," Soarin said.
"As in you... want to... date... me?" she asked again.
Soarin's eyes was looking at everything meet her eyes. He looked down in embarrassment. "Not really, but kinda."
"Kinda?" she quoted his words suspiciously.
"Yeah..." he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I want to offer you my assistance by posing as your boyfriend."
Rainbow blinked. "Pardon?"
"Rainbow Dash, I know Zephyr has been really bothering you," he started slowly. "Hasn't he?" He waited for her to argue or at least deny, but all she did was give him a hesitant nod. With the most genuine look he could muster, he continued. "It pains me to see you like this." He hoped she'd fall for it or at least be touched by his concerns.
"Why?" She was definitely questioning his intentions.
Soarin put his hands on her shoulders, "Rainbow Dash, you're my friend and you need my help. Please accept it. Let me date you until Zephyr stops." Or at least until my friends believe I can score any girl I want.
She didn't say anything for a few moments. He could see she was thinking about all this thoroughly.
When she spoke again, all she said was raise a question.
"And you cant help me without dating me because...?"
Luckily, knowing her, he had actually expected her to raise this question to him. He gave her a sweet hoping it'll remove the traces of his answer being pre planned. "If you date me... You'll be in my territory; Us men don't like crossing other men's territory, it's basic bro code. So, he'll have to stay away."
Rainbow Dash pursed her lips as she began to consider the idea.
"Okay," she said after some moments. "But how will we let Zephyr know we're a couple? Will we tell him?"
"We could tell him, but I think it'd be better if we show him," he suggested.
Rainbow Dash looked at him with one eyebrow raised.
"I meant we can do some PDA." He saw her nose scrunching at that so he quickly added, "Listen, I'm talking about holding hands, it's not like I'm not telling you to take take your clothes off and make out with me."
Rainbow Dash gagged at that, but her blush was visible. "That was oddly specific," she mumbled. He was quick to guess she was accusing him of thinking about her in an erotic way.
"Don't flatter yourself," he chuckled. "And nah, that was one of the many things you do with your partner when you're alone, but since our relationship is gonna be only public it wouldn't-"
"Public!?" she croaked. It was now she realised what he meant when he told her that they'll "show" Zephyr they're a couple. "No no no no no no no. Public? No way! Not happening." She folded her arms to emphasise her point.
"Unfortunately we have to," Soarin said. That was the only way he could let Spitfire know without any suspicions.
"Do we really have to be public? Dating is so embarrassing," Rainbow Dash groaned. Soarin didn't know if he should be offended by hearing that. It's not like she's dating anyone, she would be dating him. But he chose to brush that off.
"I can understand," he said. "But if we don't go public, Zephyr Breeze might just think you're lying." It was the same in his case, but with Spitfire. "That guy hasn't been able to take a hint when you have publicly rejected him a number of times, so do you think he will if you tell him privately that in relationship with me?"
"Yeah, he'd just think you're lying!" said Pinkie Pie.
"Yeah, you're ri- PINKIE!? What are you doing here!?" Rainbow Dash said, shocked. Soarin almost had a heart attack; he wondered when did Pinkie joined the conversation.
"I'm Pinkie Pie; I'm everywhere," the hyper girl giggled as if it was an obvious and well known fact. Soarin couldn't disagree with that.
"No, Pinkie," Rainbow Dash groaned. She looked at Soarin for a second before turning to Pinkie. "How much of mine and his convo did you hear?"
"Oh, just the last bit," she grinned. "So... what were you two talking all hush hush?"
Soarin gave Rainbow Dash a look. 'Is she trustworthy?'
Rainbow Dash gave him a nod.
Soarin sighed.
"I was telling Rainbow Dash to fake date me so that Zephyr Breeze will stop bothering her," Soarin explained.
Pinkie's eyes twinkled. "So, this is gonna be just like 'Bogus'?"
"The new movie starring Colaratura?" Soarin asked.
"Wait, I thought she is a singer," Rainbow Dash pointed out confused.
"Just because she's a singer doesn't mean she can't act," Soarin shook his head. "You should know better than anyone about it."
Rainbow Dash smiled sheepishly. "So, what's this movie about?"
Pinkie took a deep breath. "It's about a girl who gets bullied and then to save her from the bullies she asks a guy for help- as he's super hot and popular- and the guy and her has this whole set of rules of what they can and cannot do while dating and one of the rules is that they can't fall in love but in the end they do although they don't admit it to the very end because of the plot."
Rainbow Dash blinked, probably not catching half of what she said. "Sounds pretty cheesy," she either way said.
"It's super duper good though," Pinkie Pie grinned.
"I doubt it," said Rainbow Dash. "Now, Pinkie, you cant tell what he told you to anyone, especially Fluttershy."
Pinkie Pie frowned. "But I thought Fluttershy was your bestest best friend."
"She is," Rainbow Dash said. "Listen, Pinkie, she can't know, got it?" It wasn't a question, but an order.
If this was anyone, they'd been trembling in fear hearing the threat in Rainbow Dash's voice and seeing the dangerous aura emitting out from her. But, since this was Pinkie Pie, she didn't even bat an eye. The school event planner smiled broadly. "You can trust me, Dashie!" She gave Rainbow Dash a mock salute.
Rainbow Dash visibly relaxed. "Good."
Soarin too relaxed for a second, but then he remembered why he was now with Rainbow Dash in the first place. "So, allow me to fake date you until Zephyr Breeze to stop?" he asked holding out his hand.
Rainbow Dash looked at him with a look of defeat. "Fine," she said, shaking his hand.
"I now declare you as fake boyfriend and fake girlfriend!" Pinkie Pie declared.
This was going to be too easy, Soarin thought.