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// Author notes: additions and changes 
// Story: Forsaken 
// by Iron_Hooved 
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	Well, I believe I've finally worked out a way to re-characterize Storm Chaser and flesh him out as a more believable character (rather than a cartoonish, cereal villain). This is the least of concerns, as it doesn't change the story in essence, merely the interactions between himself and Twilight Sparkle. So technically, this change shouldn't ruin the progress of the story up until this point.

So what I'm planning to do is tone down his anger quite a bit, since he seems fueled only by rage, and instead give him a more stoic, dutiful demeanor. I think developing a back story based on his ideals and beliefs will help make him more tridimensional. One way of doing this would be to make him a good soldier gone bad. My premise, in that sense, is that he's a strong, hard-working, stallion who believes actions speak louder than words, and his self-devotion to the princess was his primary drive until his later years. He's a stallion who wishes to be helpful to his country, and to the princesses, to that end he always puts himself in the line of fire (hence his scarred body). However, through the years, his ideals have distorted to the point he now believes might makes right.

Following a discussion with the princess, Celestia decides that such a hardened past has corrupted the once noble, and honorable stallion. To spare him from any more psychological harm, she decides it's best to retire him from the military and even offers him a position in her privy council (away from battle). Storm Chaser resents the Princess' decision to take him out of the battlefield and put him in a meaningless position. His anger towards Celestia is only fueled by her willingness to negotiate with nations who were once Equestria's foes, and so every step she takes leading towards peace, only helps to accentuate his anger and his perception that Celestia represents all that's wrong in Equestria. 

It's in this scenario, and previous to his formal dismissal from the Imperial Guard that High Tide and company approach him, having picked up on his underlying anger towards the princess. Feeling betrayed and with the promise of bloodshed and the glory of battle, Storm Chaser accepts the offer to overthrow Celestia on the spot. 

During the first chapters he is then portrayed as someone who is stoic, but forceful. A very centered and to-the-point stallion, excelling at what he does, albeit with a lot of anger boiling underneath the surface. It's not until his eventual demise at Drackenridge mountain that all those suppressed feelings of rage and betrayal spew forth, as he highlights how he was used and thrown like a tool by the Princess he swore his allegiance to. 

I've also been thinking on adding a bit more information on the interaction of Twilight and her friends, and their previous argument right before falling out. I mean, it was the premise of the story that she was abandoned by her friends, so I should've put more effort on my part (mainly during chapter three) in detailing such a scene. Angry tears must be had, and that should help for when I rewrite the reconciliation between Twilight and friends.

If anything guys, let me know what you think of these changes, whether or not they'd be helpful or unneeded. Any suggestion is also welcome on your part. When I start modifying the first chapters I'll put a (revised) tag next to the chapter title so that you'll know it's been modified. I'll keep the tag for up to a month and then remove it.

So, with that out of the way have some Silver Tongue and Storm Chaser.



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Okay, so pony creator doesn't exactly have royal armor, nor a military-style haircut that would fit Storm Chaser. So I figured I would give him Celestia's mane and the next best uniform I could find. Which apparently was... wonder woman's...

Ha! The guy looks so pissed he's probably attempting to break the fourth wall to murder me. Lucky me he's a fictional character, or else he'd be banging my head against the keyboAFJGGBAGNWIERWHFFNVMXHGDTRUEMSOCXNC,COVB!!