My dear Fancy Pants,
I wish to thank you, old friend, for agreeing to hold this benefit dinner, and asking Princess Luna to be the keynote speaker. The Grand galloping gala speech I wrote for my princess was a bit too harsh on the Canterlot elite, and we needed an opportunity to win back the favor of the upper class of Celestia toadies and bootlickers. Although I have no use for them, my princess desires to be loved by every pony in Equestria... even those rotten apples.
I also wanted to thank you, for having your wife Fleur befriend Luna- the two spend most of Luna's free time in Canterlot together, shopping and dining at the city's finest restaurants. In fact, when they stand side by side, one would almost swear that they were sisters- Fleur looks almost like a wingless Luna recolored- the resemblance is uncanny! In any event, having a best friend like Fleur has done wonders for Luna's feelings of loneliness.
Oh, and to answer your question- yes Luna does kick in her sleep... I've got hoof prints on my right flank that attest to that. Why in Equestria would you ask about something like that,though?
Anyway, thank you again for your help, The entire Nocturnal court owes you a debt of gratitude. I do hope you don't mind though, as I 'borrowed from the common pony speech you gave a few years ago, and sort of turned it on it's ear for Luna's speech at the banquet. Sorry I cannot attend in person, my friend, but my duty in preparing the star Tapestry for the night sky comes first.
Kindest Regards,
Duke Sky Runner,
Nocturnal Chancellor of Equestria
"Honorable Citizens of Canterlot! We are most grateful that thou hast come to this this grand banquet in our honor, thrown by our most noble and generous of hosts, the right honorable and noble Sir Fancy Pants. We are most honored by this opportunity to speak to all of thou, our noblest of subjects, and hope that thou will taketh our words to heart.
It hath only been a short year since our return to Equestria, and we hath not yet had the chance to speakest with all of our varied and colorful subjects as of yet. And amongst that diverse range of Ponykind, is you- the industrious and ambitious ponies, whose capital funds the great industries and businesses that keep the wheels of commerce turning smoothly in Equestria. Without your wealth and know-how, our kingdom would not be the great financial powerhouse and industrial power it is today! We are most grateful for thy contributions to pony society, and look forward to what further improvements your wise investments and productive business choices will bring to ponykind!
We must comment on our viewing of the amusements that the elite of Canterlot now take part in- they are most different from the chariot relay races and mock gladiatorial combat that once entertained us in old Canterlot! While watching the wonderbolts soar around the track is a most thrilling experience, we still doth believe that nothing bests watching two ponies racing on a chariot, and switching driver and rider positions each lap. Now those were truly competitions most epic!
Also of amusement to us, was the marvel of your modern pony airships. We and Blueblood, our royal nephew, did have the opportunity to enjoy being the guests of our most esteemed host aboard his yacht. We were treated to the finest music, and savoring the finest of foods. Although our nephew was more attuned to this luxurious modern conveyance, we were still taken aback by it's magnificence and splendor. We envy the glamorous and colorful lifestyle the modern elite of Equestria doth lead, and hope that one day the benefits of that lifestyle will be the gift the elite will, through their efforts, will be able to bequeath to the rest of ponydom…."
Sky Runner,
I must say, old boy, it was rather a pleasure to host this whole splendid affair. Luna's debut amongst the Canterlot elite was a smashing success, and the damage to her reputation amongst them has been repaired. I do say this idea of yours may have been our best one yet!
I must say, that I am well aware of my beloved wife and the Princess's exploits- a sizable bill has shown up in my mail from the Canterlot Crown shoe store. But to my surprise, it was not for purchases. Rather, it was for damages caused by an angry pair of mares- an alicorn and unicorn, if I'm not mistaken- when a hapless shoe clerk made a crack about a mare of Nightmare moon's age trying to feel young, by 'hanging out' with a washed-up anorexic model. I agree that the comment was uncalled for, but leveling an entire city block was really overkill for those two!
And as to my question... I was actually wondering about the truth behind some of the shady rumors circulating though Canterlot society about the nature of your relationship with Luna- and your answer all but confirms my suspicions. You really should learn to have more tact in your answers personal questions… especially when it relates to one of the two royal princesses.
Tread carefully, old friend, lest your involvement in the intrigues of the nocturnal court become your undoing. In the time I have known you, you have risen from a lowly Unicorn usher, to the fourth most powerful pony in all of Equestria. But I fear that your ambition may push you towards more, in the name of making your princess happy. I don't know what you and your staff are doing up there at that lab in Tambleon, but I pray some of the tales I have heard of mutated ponies and freakish experiments are untrue.
In Any event, best of luck on the rest of your Royal Luna speaking tour- Considering how things have gone to this point, I can only hope it gets better from here on out.
May the great Horsemaster watch over you,
Sir Fancy Pants