Three days had passed since the Humans were first sighted in Equestria. Equestrian forces had suffered terrible losses during the first hours of the surprise attack. Though the guards and Equestrian military were more disciplined soldiers than the humans, the humans had the advantage in strength and in dexterity. They towered over the average pony, often using household items as weapons, and overpowered ponies by forcing them into unfavorable positions. Their physiology gave them a unique advantage in close quarters combat.
Some humans had also been sighted with weapons that they seemed to refer to as “guns.” These fearsome weapons could penetrate all but the best of equestrian armors, and could be completely fatal at ranges unimaginable in standard equine warfare. When they fired, the sound was loud enough to be heard all around a city. Their operation was a complete mystery to even the best of the surviving equestrian scientists. Nobody had any idea how these creatures who seemed to have no control over magic could have such fine control over the elements.
Twilight paced around on the magic transit platform, fraught with worry. Of all the things she had ever expected to deal with during her long reign as princess, a war with an alien race was not among them. She wondered what it was that could make them, or anything, seem so exceptionally cruel. No, she thought, she mustn’t condemn them. Celestia herself had said that they weren’t all bad. After all, this was just a minority... right?
She didn’t have time for such questions. The Bronies were in Equestria and they were wreaking havoc. That was what mattered. She refocused herself, drawing her attention to the mission at hand. Since the Equestrian forces had regrouped, Shining Armor had been planning a guerilla campaign to raid human encampments for supplies and intel. Their current target was one that had only been spotted recently, and was poorly defended. That where they were headed.
Twilight and her squad finally reached their destination: the 3rd floor of an abandoned building, overlooking the Brony encampment. They all took their positions along the windows, crossbows pointed at any humans who were exposed. She felt an incoming stream of magic, the signature matching that of her brother. He was using the communication spell which they had practiced.
“Twily, this is Shining Armor, do you read?”
“I’ve got you Shining.”
“Everyone is in position. We’re awaiting the order to open fire.”
Twilight thought for a moment. “Negative, do not engage. I see two humans trying to confront each other. I’m going to cast a scrying spell to see if I can get any intel from them.” She giggled quietly. “I feel so important now, using all this military speak!”
Twilight focused in on the two humans, apparently in some kind of argument. She targeted their location, and cast a discrete amplification spell. Their voices came through quietly to Twilight’s squad.
“Man, you idiot, I can’t believe you brought that piece of shit sword as a weapon. A true Brony would use a gun, like the manly men we are.”
“Hey, check your fuckin privilege faggot, this here is a goddamn katana and it’s the best fuckin sword ever. I heard it could cut European turd swords in half with one swing. I bet it could also cut European RACISTS like you in half with one hand!”
“Watch what you say bitch, I’m the top sniper in the US armed forces! I have over 300 confirmed kills, and I’m also tr-”
The rifle toting Brony was interrupted by a human crying out to all the others in the camp.
“Heretic!”
A bell began to toll from an unknown location. A fairly average looking human was dragged from a tent with his arms bound behind his back. He looked scared and confused. The human was dragged onto a wooden platform and kicked onto the ground. A tall Brony, wearing a robe with Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark on it, stepped up and began to speak to the gathering crowd.
“Gentlecolts, we have found among us... a heretic!” The volume of the crowd raised suddenly. “He has committed the heinous crime of liking forbidden episodes! For it is written, The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well was the sin of Merriwether, the bane of writers. This animal has just admitted to the audacious and invalid opinion of thinking that it ‘wasn’t that bad!’” The crowd suddenly roared with anger. “And with any scourge, this idea that the opinions of those who disagree with us are valid must be... purged.” He pulled a pistol out from his robe. He put it towards the man’s head.
Twilight had seen enough. “All, units, engage! Open fire on all hostiles!”
Before the robed Brony had a chance to pull the trigger, the sound of a thousand strings and whistles filled the area. A rain of bolts descended on the camp, one finding itself squarely between the robed Brony’s eyes. The humans were in complete chaos, caught unaware by the surprise attack. Humans fell and scattered in every direction. When enough humans had fallen, Shining Armor rallied the ground troops and finished off what was left.
By the end of the short battle, the ponies had only taken a few casualties, while the humans had suffered a major defeat. Shining Armor looked immensely satisfied. Twilight did not share his enthusiasm. There was something else on her mind. Her eyes turned toward the sole surviving human in the encampment- the one who had nearly lost his life at the hands of his own. Shining had also taken notice.
“You go on ahead Twili, I’ll go finish this one off.”
“No, let him live.”
“What?”
“You heard me, I want him alive. I want to talk to him.”
“But he-!” Shining Armor gave an exasperated sigh. “Do what you want with him Twily.”
Twilight seemed pleased. She trotted over the the human, curled up in fetal position. She actually felt a bit sorry for him. She resisted the urge to hate him for what his people had done. She lifted him onto his feet via telekinesis.
“Hello, human.”
The human looked weak and timid. The surprise attack, combined with the fact that he had very nearly been publicly executed, had taken their toll on his mental health. He looked downward when he spoke.
“Please don’t kill me.”
“We don’t want to kill you, we only need you to answer a few questions.”
The human looked upward. His tear stained face met with Twilight’s. “T-Twilight Sparkle?”
“That’s me.”
“You w-want to spare my life, even though you’re a princess?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess I do. Anyways, We need to ask you some questions. For starters, how ma-”
“By Celestia, the rumors were lies! You aren’t a dictator after all!”
“What?”
“They said you were cruel now! That you would ruin the show, and you had to be stopped! I knew it couldn’t be true! I believed in you the whole time! Oh, you were always my favorite pony! Always!”
Twilight blushed a little. “W-well I’m flattered but really-”
“Twilight, can I ask something of you?” he looked extremely hopeful.
“Uh... what is it?”
“Twilight, would you please have sex with me?”
Twilight could have sworn she heard her jaw fall through the floor. Her face turned bright red. She stuttered incoherently.
“W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w...........WHAT?”
“Please? I’ll do anything, and I mean anything that you’re into. Even if it means getting...tender.”
Twilight had absolutely no idea how to respond to this. She simply stared at him dumbfounded for around five minutes.
“So is that a yes?”
“NO!”
“Ok.”
By now, Shining Armor had taken notice of Twilight’s shocked state. He trotted over to her.
“Hey, Twili, is everything going alright over here? Is the human giving you any trouble?”
“H-he... he asked if...”
“Hey, Shining, you wouldn’t mind if I fucked your sister would you? You could join in if you wanted! I’ve read all kinds of fanfics where you’re into that.”
A second jaw dropped onto the ground. Something changed in Shining’s eyes. Before, he had met this human with mistrust. Now he felt something else. It was a feeling that he had known in some degree before in the heat of battle, but could never quite put his hoof on it. It was bloodlust. Never before in his life had he wanted to viscously end the life of a sentient being quite as much as he did right there. The very fiber of his being seemed to radiate violence towards this pathetic alien creature. He gritted his teeth together.
“Twilight?”
“Uh... yeah Shining?”
“Permission to murder him where he stands?”
Twilight considered the thought for a moment. With a sigh or regret, she responded “No, he’s more valuable alive. Tie him up and take him back to the base. I’ll talk to him again once we’re there.”
The guards did as they were told. “Oh, is this some sort of bondage thing? Alright, I see where you’re going with this. I’m down. I’m down. See you at the base, sweetheart.” The guards then very casually threw him into a wagon and began to cart him away.
Of all the things Twilight might have expected a human captive to do, asking her for sex was probably the least likely thing she would have guessed. It was almost flattering really. Nobody had ever even showed interest in her during her time in Ponyville, much less in Canterlot. He might have almost been charming had he struck her as having even the slightest notion of social graces. It was a shame that the human had been such a fool, but she would deal with him later. For the moment, she had other concerns.
An Equestrian marine ran over and saluted her. “Princess! You might want to see this. We’ve captured enemy technology. We think it’s one of the ‘guns’ that have been reported around the battlefield.”
Twilight followed the marine to the weapon in question. It seemed to match the descriptions she had heard before. A long, thin tube connected to a wooden frame at the end.
“Do we know how it works? Or what it does?”
“No ma’am, but now that we’ve got a sample we can try to reverse engineer it. We should have figured it out by the end of a day or two.”
“Alright then. Start working on it as soon as you can.” Twilight raised her head to speak to the group. “We’re done here everyone! Grab as much as you can that might be helpful and then get back to the base! Move it!”
The command was met with a synchronized “Yes Ma’am!” from the guards and soldiers. They began gathering items from their surroundings and moving in formation out of the area. Twilight turned and followed them, flanked by her personal bodyguards.
For a moment, she had slightly regretted not letting Shining kill the human. She was ashamed of that. She didn’t like killing them. When she first became princess, she never had never thought she would have to kill anybody. Equestria had been at peace for nearly 900 years, since the Gryphon wars. Open conflict was nearly unheard of. The military the did have was only maintained out of ceremony.
No. This was not the time for a leader to be conflicted. The humans had invaded and destroyed their city. It was kill or be killed. She hoped she could rationalize it to herself that way. Still, she wasn’t satisfied. There was one thing that had been bugging her for days. On the first day of the invasion, she had killed a human with her own magic. It was different than just ordering an attack. The act of taking a life, and watching him die thinking of nothing but his phallus was something else entirely. She had done it out of impulse mostly. The human had charged at her, so she panicked and killed him. It was perfectly justifiable, she thought. But it wasn’t. She had taken away someone else’s life. Was she really any better than they were, she thought? Perhaps these humans were j-
“Yo Twilight, just wait till you get a load of my Chinese war tank! It’s a monster, lemme tell y- HADSASGHOGFYFDFHYBGOU”
It was the human again. He had somehow gotten free of his restraints, so the guards were scrambling to re-tie him and replace the gag. Maybe the humans weren’t so misunderstood after all. Maybe they were just a bunch of annoying pricks. She decided to stick with that idea.