//------------------------------// // III. Pampered, Beaten, Lectured, Gone // Story: A Slice of Afterlife // by -Lackluster //------------------------------// A Slice of Afterlife, or: A Day in the Life of a Ponyville Zombie Part III: Pampered, Beaten, Lectured, Gone _________________________________________ The white unicorn mare used her magic to delicately place the freshly stitched dress on the blank equine model, soft blue glow surrounding its features as it was fit to perfection. The aura dissipated, and she looked over the design front to back before giving a nod of approval. “Oh, Rarity, you’ve outdone yourself this time!” she exclaimed with delight. Afterward, she trotted over to her window to look outside. Sunny skies were still shining upon her fair Ponyville, but the western horizon painted a much different picture. “I could draft my next design… but I have been working so diligently today, placing me ahead of schedule,” she said in an attempt to persuade herself. Rarity bit her upper lip and looked between the window and her workplace with a worried expression. “It appears the day is going to turn sour soon… and I mustn’t allow such a beautiful day to go to waste!” Finally managing to convince herself, she made her way to her closet with a gleeful skip. Rarity magically shuffled through her assortment of headwear, stopping at a large-framed carnation hat with a floral design topped off with crimson feathers. “I suppose I’ll go rather basic today. Opal, darling, I’m going out on the town today, so be good!” As she exited through the front, the fuzzy feline raised its head apathetically from its curled position on the floor before promptly returning to its slumber. Rarity trotted regally through Ponyville, passing by Sugarcube Corner. She took notice that quite a ruckus was being made inside the bakery, resulting in what sounded like a mixture of mechanical clanking, flowing liquid, and… mane brushing? Rarity just brushed it off as ‘Pinkie being Pinkie’ as she was wont to do and continued along her chosen path. She began to hum a familiar tune as she basked in the glory of the sunlight. The mare was greeted with several compliments toward the miniature sailboat atop her head, to which she generally responded with, “Oh, this little old thing? It’s nothing, you’re too kind,” followed by a prideful but toned-down smile. She was so engrossed in the fresh air and approving looks of her peers that she failed to notice the creature stepping around the corner. *smack* The mare fell to her haunches, failing to see the rodent atop the creature shrink down to insect form and take cover in its mane. Anger flared in her eyes for a split second, but Rarity sucked it up and put on a pleasant face. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry. Sometimes I can be so-“ she stopped, her eyes widening to their fullest as her pupils scanned over the beast before her. “Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!” came a scream that resonated all the way to Fillydelphia. “Oh no no no no no no! Heavens, wha-… how-… this is unacceptable! What in Equestria do you use on your coat?! Your mane?!” queried the mare in quick succession. The creature, lacking the ability to comprehend her words, simply opened its mouth and let out an expected, “Brrrra-“ Before he could finish, Rarity threw her hoof up to its mouth to quiet the decrepit stallion. “Hush! I don’t even want to know! Just come with me, immediately!” she exclaimed dramatically as she threw her head back, her curly mane bouncing with the act. The zombie opened its maw once again to attack the meal presented to it, but Rarity pulled back her leg and began trotting off hastily. The corpse continued forward, tracking its potential victim. “Now, I don’t mean to be prudish, darling, but you simply must take better care of yourself! Your color palette may leave something to be desired, but with the right accessories I know you can absolutely shine,” the mare rambled as she led the creature across town; its only focus was the taunting, swaying piece of meat constantly just out of its reach. “Once we’re through here, I’ll go ahead a spruce up something for you, on the house! Perhaps a vest? Maybe an ascot - No, those are out of season, silly me! Well, I’m sure we’ll figure something out while we treat ourselves.” The two came upon Ponyville’s day spa. Rarity opened the door and pushed forward, allowing it to swing back and smack the rabid creature on the snout. It forced its way through clumsily as Rarity trotted to the center of the waiting room. “Aloe! Lotus! We have an emergency, code orange!” Immediately, the pony at the counter gave her full attention to Rarity as her partner rushed in from the adjacent room. “What is it, Miss Rarity?” The unicorn stepped aside to present her guest. As soon as the two spa ponies took a good look at it, they glanced at one another and each exhaled a deep breath. “Don’t worry, Miss Rarity, we’re on it.” With that, the two mares rushed over to the creature and dragged it into the adjacent room. Rarity perked her head up, remembering something important as she tagged along. “Oh, by the way girls, as long as I’m here, I’ll have the usual!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Passersby could hear a scream from inside the spa building, followed by shouting, and finally a brown pony was flung out the front door, landing on its face. Rarity stomped out indignantly behind, on a war path with her head steaming. “Why I never! How you expect to behave like that and still be a proper member of society is beyond me! I mean, really, drooling on Lotus during your hooficure? That I could maybe forgive. But then biting Aloe?! You’re lucky you didn’t shed any blood or she would have grounds to sue!” the mare yelled in outrage. “You can forget the piece I was planning on making for you! A shame, too, because I had it planned out in my head perfectly. Good day, sir!” The mare threw her nose to the air and turned to retreat back to her boutique before the incoming clouds finished covering the town. The zombie was left alone outside the spa. The dirt and grime that had covered its coat had been removed following an intense scrubbing, and its mane was relatively straightened out and cleansed. Its hooves, still cracked, gave off a respectable shine. Discord took this opportunity to fly out of his makeshift mane shelter and took on his true form again. His first order of business was to fall to his back, laughing hysterically as he rolled on the grass below. “Bahahaha! That was brilliant! I knew following the pompous one would lead to some worthwhile entertainment. Granted, that was a close call with the bite, having to turn your teeth to rubber temporarily,” Discord continued as he materialized a cowboy hat, pair of shades, and a pistol, “but they don’t call me ‘Quick-Draw Discord’ for nothin’.” He twirled the weapon in his paw, pointing it toward the creature’s head and pressing the trigger to release a white flag with ‘Bang’ printed on it. The creature bit the barrel of the gun in response, attempting to crack into it. Discord gave a dismissive frown as he took off his hat and sunglasses. “You really would be something if you had a sense of humor, you know? Oh well, let’s carry on. I’m sure there’s some more fun to be-“ Before Discord could finish, a brilliant white light shone down from above. Discord squinted in its direction before returning his shades to his eyes. After identifying the incoming figure, Discord quickly shoved the zombie into a nearby bush to conceal it. From the clouds descended Princess Celestia, unaccompanied by royal guards. “Discord.” she stated sternly, causing a look of surprise on the draconequus’ face. “C-Celestia! How good to see you! How goes things up at the homestead?” he replied casually. Celestia eyed him warily. “What are you up to, Discord?” Discord presented the most innocent looking expression he could muster. “Me? I’m just enjoying my day off with my good pals here in Ponyville. You know how playful they can get, the little rascals,” he finished as he batted his eyelashes. Celestia looked around, seeing the streets deserted. “…right. Well, if I really need to know, I suppose I’ll find out later. But right now I require your assistance. There has been a burst of dark magic coming from the Everfree Forest, and I need your help to investigate.” Discord eyed her peculiarly and began to speak, but was cut off before he could get anything out. “And yes, I know it wasn’t your doing. I placed a spell while you were imprisoned the second time to keep track of your magical activity.” Discord smirked. “Of course. You can never be too careful.” Celestia turned toward the forest and nodded in its direction. “I know I gave you leave for the day, but this is a special case and something that you probably possess the most knowledge to assist with. Please, follow me at once.” Discord glanced over toward the bush that was beginning to rustle. “Er… right now? As in right now, right now?” Celestia returned her gaze to the draconequus. “Yes, right now right now. We must hurry - otherwise whatever caused this disturbance could disappear from under our noses.” Discord glanced back toward the bush, worriedly. He did not want to allow the creature to roam free in Ponyville. However, he was more afraid of Celestia’s potential punishment for his breaking her rules. He’d rather not be imprisoned for a third time so soon. “Lead the way, Princess,” he replied enthusiastically. After the two flew off together toward the darkening lands, the undead equine finally managed its way out of the bush. After regaining its balance, the creature trotted off towards the center of town before being struck and thrown ten feet by a high-speed falling object. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Well, I can’t say I expected this when I woke up this morning.” Rainbow Dash stood atop a cloud on the outskirts of Ponyville on the side opposite the Everfree Forest. She looked onward as the gloomy black clouds expanded toward her, covering her town in darkness. Dash cranked her head left and right, appraising the vast width of the rolling gray mass. The day had just been one failure after another. As soon as the weather team took note that the clouds were pushing inward toward town, they flew off to intercept and destroy it. It was not of their making and an overcast day was not scheduled for nearly a week, after all. However, the cloud proved immune to their feeble attempts, not willing to lose ground in any permanent manner. After hours of work, the team was called back and ordered to wait until the storm passed. However, Rainbow Dash was not prepared to give up without a fight. She went toe to toe with the growing mass, punching and zooming through its extremities with lightning speed. However, it wasn’t enough, and she could not break its path alone. But she did have one option left up her sleeve, and things were about to get colorful. With grace, Dash leapt off of her cloud and soared upward, creating a large gap between her and the low-set cloud cover below. She hovered momentarily, taking a deep breath, then reared up and took off downward with incredible speed. A cone formed around the mare as the force of the wind she created blasted the white upper atmosphere clouds to nothingness with ease. She restrained herself slightly; she wanted to hit the climax of her rainboom within the gray mass itself. When she got nearer, she pushed herself harder and her speed increased dramatically. The cone grew more pointed as the cyan pegasus pierced the extremities of the dark clouds. This was the moment, now or never. Dash readied herself for one final push to be rid of this bad weather once and for all. She focused forward, tightened her muscles, and *CRACK* Suddenly, a bolt of lightning came streaking down through the clouds, missing Dash by mere inches but throwing her off balance. She careened sideways, barrel rolling downward in an arc toward the center of town. Fortunately, there was something relatively soft to brace her fall. Dash picked herself back up, mane and feathers ruffled but lacking any significant injuries. “That was so not awesome,” she said as she rubbed her head with a hoof. When the world stopped spinning for her, she looked around to take in her surroundings. She saw a mass of brown and yellow ahead of her and rushed over to see the condition of the pony she had hit. In the darkness created by the cloud cover, its more unappealing features were less distinguishable. She could not tell that the impact had crushed several of the creature’s ribs, causing a few to jut through the surface of its skin. “Ohmygoshareyouokay?!” she said with desperate hope. The creature opened its eyes in response and began to rise. “Oh, thank Celestia! That could have ended up pretty badly. Heh… sorry. Good thing for that earth pony endurance, eh?” she said, trying to raise the pony’s spirits. “Hey, you’re new in town, aren’t you? It looks like everypony’s gone inside for the night because of the storm. You should probably think about doing the same.” She was met with a blank stare as the creature slowly walked toward her. “Oh, do you not have someone to stay with tonight? I’d offer a place in my house but it’s sorta in the clouds, heh… Are you looking for someone in particular?” she questioned, trying her best to help this stranger. “Brrraaaaiiiinnsssss…” came the reply. “Oh, you’re looking for an egghead? Well you’re in luck: Twilight’s housed up right over there in the town library!” She leaned in close and held a hoof over the side of her mouth so as not to let her next statement escape the two of them. “If I were you, I’d go for her Daring Do collection. Best series in there by far, even if she won’t admit it. You know how eggheads are.” At that moment, a light shone over toward the two as the library’s entrance opened, producing a lavender unicorn. Rainbow Dash moved away toward the mare as the zombie snapped at her previous position. “Hey, Twilight! I have someone that wants to see you!” Twilight closed her door and trotted up to the two in the darkening town center. “What was that, Rainbow Dash?” “This guy here is new and needed to see you about something,” she said as she pointed toward the animated mass of flesh. “Oh! Well, the library’s closed right now if you need a book. But I was about to go on a trot if you would like to follow, and then I could find whatever it is you need when we get back,” she replied politely. A low “rrmmmpphh” came from the mouth of the soulless equine as he moved forward toward the mare with a hungry look. “You’re up for it? Great! I enjoy speaking with newcomers to Ponyville. I may not be as enthusiastic as Pinkie Pie, but I can really relate to not knowing one’s way around town.” She turned her attention to the pegasus. “Would you care to join, Rainbow Dash?” “I’ll have to pass on this one, Twi,” she replied while looking toward the center of the cloud formation overhead. “I have some unfinished business to take care of.” “Alright, be careful. Don’t overexert yourself for this one cloud; I’m sure it will pass soon enough,” encouraged the unicorn. “Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not the best young flier in Equestria because rainbows come out of my butt!” the cyan mare responded proudly. Twilight rolled her eyes with a chuckle. “Well, have fun then.” She trotted off, zombie in tow, snapping at her tail as it swung by in periodic motion. Dash took a seat on the soft grass and raised a hoof to her chin, trying to figure out how to best this beast before her. She mentally checked over all the moves in her arsenal, and tried to see if there were any weak points in the cloud cover to take advantage of. However, the thing was as solid as a rock. She sat there for several minutes, so deeply lost in concentration that she didn’t notice a pink mare sneaking up to her side. “Hey Dashie!” yelled Pinkie Pie into Dash’s ear with enthusiasm, making her jolt upward. At first she was shocked, then her expression turned to anger, but it soon softened as she realized who she was dealing with. “Hey there, Pinkie. What brings you out here?” “It just seemed so spooky out here with no one around - it’s pretty fun, like Nightmare Night! Speaking of, have you seen a zombie around? I need to find him for the party!” “Yeah, I guess it is pretty creepy out here. But once I beat this cloud everything will - wait, what was that about a zombie?” Dash asked confusedly. “You know, he’s brown and slow and grunts a lot. Oh, also his favorite word is ‘Brrrraaaaaiiiinnnsss’,” she described as she replicated the creature’s disposition perfectly, ending with a cheerful smile. Dash sat there, dumbfounded. It was then that she noticed her friend was holding a plate with something pink and wrinkly sitting atop it. “Uh, Pinkie, what in the hay is that?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Twilight hiked up a hill, the creature tirelessly and mindlessly trotting along. Not stopping or turning back, the mare began to speak. “It’s been a while since I saw a new face in Ponyville. Princess Celestia has had me studying pretty diligently over the past few weeks. I’ve hardly had time for most social activities! Not that I’m the life of the party - that would be Pinkie Pie, I’m sure you’ll meet her soon enough if you haven’t already - but sometimes even I need some time to rest from all the books.” The mare opened her eyes wide in slight shock. “Wow, I can’t believe I actually said that.” “Anyway, I don’t want this to be all about me. I wanted to tell you a little bit about what makes Ponyville such a wonderful place. When I came here, I wasn’t the most social pony out there. I never really had close friends outside of my family, and I always had my nose stuck in a book. Not to say that books are unimportant, but I never realized how much I needed that interaction and friendship that I tried so actively to avoid. I was missing an integral component of my life, and Ponyville helped me fill in that gap. I met my best friends here, and we’ve been through so much together… and it’s not just that; it’s everypony! The entire town is filled with this soul that I never knew could exist in such a place during my years in Canterlot.” “There’s something about this town. Something… magical. It’s a little difficult to explain, and it’s something you need to see for yourself. If you plan on sticking around for a while, I encourage you to make the best of your time here. Be sure to meet the various folk around town, and experience the local flavor! We may not have as much as big cities like Manehattan or Las Pegasus, but the artisans of trade here are top-notch. Try one of Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s deluxe cupcakes and you’ll wonder how you’ve gone all your life without such a delicacy!” Twilight closer her eyes and slowly shook her head with a half-smile. “Oh, look at me, it’s like I’m a walking advertisement! I don’t mean to come off so overzealous, but Ponyville really is a great place to settle down. And we always welcome new and prospective faces from all around Equestria. I can assure you that, if you decide to stay, the town will feel like family in no time at all,” she finished sincerely. Twilight reached the peak of the large hill; it ended on a cliff side overlooking a lake. The duo had reached the edge of the cloud formation, the still sunny skies illuminating the surface of the water in golden beauty. Directly below was a patch of jagged rock formations that were battered by the water’s flow as its constant motion ever so slowly eroded the cliff’s underside. The creature had fallen behind slightly and took this moment to catch up ground. “Here we are! This is one of my favorite spots within walking distance of town. I love to come out here and read, clear my head so I can work out experimental results, or just relax on those rare occasions I’m afforded the time. I think this scene really exemplifies the beauty of Equestria, and enjoying it under Celestia’s solar rays or Luna’s soft moonbeams is breathtaking.” During this monologue, the ravenous creature had closed the gap between the two. He now stood mere feet from the mare and she gazed outward at the lake below. “I’m glad I was able to take you here while the skies were still open. There really isn’t anything else like it.” Twilight closed her eyes, letting the soothing breeze facilitated by the body of water blow gently through her mane. She inhaled through her nose, letting the air escape her lips slowly. She emptied her mind, letting her worries flow away, even if temporarily, and reaching an inner stability that her life seldom afforded her. Tranquility. The beast lunged. Suddenly, the beast was struck in the head, knocking it off target and sending it careening over the edge of the cliff. As it fell, a small and lumpy brown sack entered its vision and descended in unison. Overhead, a faint, “Oops, my bad” could be heard as a gray streak flew past. The abomination gained speed as he fell to the rocky shores below, returning to the earth from whence he came. At the sound of the pegasus, Twilight opened her eyes and looked around. Seeing no one there beside her, she shrugged. “Huh, he must have gone back to town. Twilight Sparkle, you are one persuasive mare!” she cheered as she clapped her front two hooves. “TWILIGHTWATCHOUTTHERESAZOMBIE!” came a rapid succession of words behind her. She turned to see a rainbow streak from the direction of Ponyville quickly closing the gap between the two. When she got near, Rainbow Dash landed, skidding to a stop. “What was that, Rainbow Dash? There’s a what now?” Twilight asked quizzically. “There’s a -“ Rainbow Dash, seeing that Twilight was alone, cut off her initial statement. “Uh… nothing. Just wanted to see how your trot was going. Still have an open offer to join?” Then she muttered to herself, “I can’t believe I listened to Pinkie Pie.” “Of course. There’s always room for my friends,” she happily replied. Twilight looked upward, where the cloud cover was slowly but visibly dissipating, allowing warm rays of sunset light to pierce through and into Ponyville below. “Look at that, the skies are clearing up!” Rainbow Dash stared in shock, exhausted. “Are you serious?! I worked all day on that thing!” “Well, Dash, it just goes to show that sometimes it’s best just to accept that some things are out of your control,” sagely replied the unicorn. “Yeah, sure. I would have had it gone within the hour anyway.” Twilight chuckled in reply and a warm smile spread across her face as she looked down at the outline of Ponyville, illuminated by the sunset’s orange glow. She couldn’t think of anywhere she would rather be heading. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Celestia and Discord had just entered the dark forest. Discord showed some not so subtle signs of boredom. “Are we there yet?” whined the spirit. “Don’t even think about it, Discord,” snapped the princess immediately. She couldn’t see as he stuck his tongue out at her in frustration. Celestia looked upward, worriedly. “I haven’t seen magic like this in quite some time. I can’t quite put my hoof on what category of spell this is… plague? necromancy?” Discord raised an eyebrow, impressed by her intuition. “I have no clue, myself. I guess we’ll just have to follow the signs and see where they take us.” They continued onward, Discord twiddling his thumbs out of sheer boredom. He lasted a relatively impressive 30 seconds before opening his mouth again. “Have you gained weight? You’re looking a little rounder from the back,” he said with a sly grin. Celestia stopped in her tracks. She slowly brought her head around to face the draconequus. The fire in her eyes made Discord see the error of his ways. He was truly afraid for the first time since his release. Suddenly, the dark clouds above began to dissipate. Discord was quick to point out the sudden change of events. Celestia looked up with concern. “Funny how life just works itself out sometimes, eh, Celestia?” the spirit said, trying to make her forget the previous conversation. “Something has broken the dark magic’s hold. We’ll be unable to track it to its source now,” said the princess, regretfully. “There’s nothing further we can do but be patient and see if it shows its face again. Come, let’s return to Canterlot.” The mare gave one last look into the forest before turning and ascending upward in the direction of her capitol city. Discord rolled his eyes. “Well, this was a worthwhile experience. I’m so glad I could be a part of it.” He turned to follow her, then after thinking to himself, he addressed the princess. “Wait, I’m getting overtime for this, right?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unbeknownst to the two retreating figures, the dark cloud, rather than disappearing completely, only retracted until it covered a lone acre atop a tree house deep in the forest. Its windows glowed a soft orange from the candlelight within, and the sound of hoofsteps and a boiling liquid could be heard. Suddenly, a thick zebra accent added its own melody to the sounds of the night. “It must be in the proportions. What else explains the visual distortion? Perhaps if I add a pinch more spice, then I would not need so much ice. Or maybe the flower is at fault… could it be I used too much salt?” Shuffling hooves and clanging bottles could be heard within, followed by stirring of the brew being made. Suddenly, a puff of smoke filled the tree house and escaped out the window. “No, this is incorrect. This brew must have a defect!” The smoke made its way through the forest, zigzagging through the trees as if holding a mind of its own. It came upon an open grove and sifted into the dirt below. A faint rumbling could be heard before a hoof shot out of the ground, time having eaten away at its flesh. Following it came a decomposing, slack-jawed corpse of a unicorn, who began heading in the direction of fair Ponyville. The dark smoke sifted back through the surface of the soil and shot out toward the center of the remainder of the dark cloud, spurring it to begin its expansion anew.