I woke up in an unfamiliar bed. There was a warm glow of sunlight coming through my eyelids and I was glad that I kept them shut. I knew a hangover when I felt one, and I had definitely drank too much the night before.
Raising a hand to block the sun, I opened my eyes and glanced around. The room had only three walls, the fourth opening into what looked like a balcony over a larger space. The walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of solid wood. A large window was above the bed. Books were scattered everywhere, only some of them shelved.
I was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday and I was splayed out over the bed. It was a little short, but I mostly fit on it. Raising my head, I saw Rainbow and the orange mare called Applejack both sleeping on a second bed nearby. Applejack had her cowboy hat over her face.
Sitting up carefully, I put my feet on the floor and held my face while my head swam for a few moments. “Uuuggghhhh.” Way too much alcohol. Rainbow heard me. She yawned and stretched. Her movement brought a grumble from Applejack.
Rainbow grinned at me. “How bad are you this morning? Or should I ask; how much do you remember?”
“Let’s see. Pinkie grabbed me from Fluttershy’s place so she could throw me a party for coming to Ponyville. It seemed like all the residents of town were invited. You showed up later after doing your paperwork with the student bureau. It was probably a good thing Pinkie had so much food and cake, because I couldn’t have done so much drinking on an empty stomach.” I frowned. “Why did I do so much drinking?”
“Applejack challenged me to a little contest but I have a lot of things to do this morning so you volunteered to be my replacement.” Rainbow’s grin got wider. “The two of you went shot for shot and you beat her with experience.”
I heard a moan from Applejack. I frowned. “Well, I hope she’ll be okay.”
Pinkie burst from a nearby cabinet, nearly giving me a heart attack from surprise. “Of course she will be! What kind of party host would I be if I didn’t take care of everypony who came?”
She had with her a basket full of breakfast items that looked just as good as anything that had been served at the party. Pinkie carried on a happy babble. “I said everypony, but of course you’re not a pony, Denise. I just say everypony because it’s a nice catch-all term that is pretty easy to understand. Of course, I could say everyperson but I wouldn’t want to confuse everypony since ponies are the majority in town. I mean, it’s called Ponyville after all even if we do have some mules here, but that’s just splitting hairs.”
I had tuned her out by the second sentence or so and instead focused on eating. A nice muffin found its way from the basket to my mouth. Good ‘ol hands. I can always count on them to take care of me even when I’m hungover. Beneath the alcohol fumes, I thought I felt a few nicotine jitters. That’s right - I had forgotten my patches and there were probably none available in Ponyville. I busied myself with eating to forget about it.
Rainbow got up and snatched a muffin to go. “We can hang out later, but I’m supposed to meet with the weather team this morning. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them. It shouldn’t take long, but don’t wait up for me.”
She flew over the edge of the balcony and I heard a door open. I looked around at the inside of the room again. “Where are we?”
“It’s the town library and also Twilight’s home,” Pinkie said. “Twilight called last night to thank you for something you did for her and when she heard that you were passed out drunk she said you could sleep it off here.”
“I guess I should call her back,” I mused. I searched my pockets. “Have you seen my phone?”
Pinkie tapped a hoof on her chin and screwed up her eyes in deep thought. “I think it’s still over at Sugarcube Corner. Did I mention you passed out drunk?”
I sighed, partly because blacking out hadn’t been part of my plans for Spring Break, but also because I knew that I would have to get up out of bed soon and that my hangover would complicate that. Still, might as well get started.
I swayed a little as I stood up, but apparently Pinkie’s breakfast treats had done the trick and I wasn’t as tipsy as expected. She left the basket of goodies with Applejack who still had refused to move.
We went down a staircase that spiraled along the wall. The library was circular and everything appeared to have been carved out of the same solid wood. A small purple and green dragon was sleeping in a bed sized for him. He snored slightly, oblivious to the world.
“That’s Spike; Twilight’s assistant,” Pinkie told me.
I saw my luggage had been brought and told Pinkie I was going to use a few minutes to freshen up. I took a shower that was quick, cold, and helped me wake up. I put on fresh clothes and made sure to grab some sunglasses before leaving.
Outside, I was surprised to see that we had been inside a giant tree. Well, okay, in retrospect of that the interior decor now made sense but I had no idea that trees grew that large in diameter or could have so much carved out of their interior and still go on living.
Pinkie bounced happily along instead of walking. I swear, the equine body shouldn’t have been able to do that, but the proof was right in front of me. We headed back to the same brightly-decorated building where the party had been the night before.
Sugarcube Corner was a bakery by day, Pinkie Party center by night. A Pinkie Party was nothing like a regular party, as I had experienced. I still didn’t remember a lot of the specifics, but I knew that I had been shown a very good time.
Somehow, the whole building was perfectly clean and ready for morning business. I would have thought that the amount of confetti, food, and guests would have generated more of a cleanup job. Maybe Pinkie just worked all night on clearing it away.
I found my phone and slipped it into my pocket. Outside, I could see the town starting to come to life. Rainbow had once told me that the weekends in Equestria were casual like where I was from, but with the obvious difference that Sunday morning wasn’t reserved for religion. I said a quick prayer under my breath, just to feel responsible.
I was introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who owned the bakery. There were no customers yet, but the two of them seemed busy and harried. Their twin foals looked like a handful.
I did wonder how two earth ponies could have a unicorn and a pegasus for kids, but if two different races came from the same birth then I suppose it was plausible to have those be different than the parents. Genetics don’t always make sense.
Somewhere between meeting the Cakes, Pinkie telling me that she needed to begin the morning’s work at the bakery, and a few customers coming in, I found myself cradling both foals in my arms.
“Um...?” I looked around. Pinkie was behind the counter selling goodies to customers and Mr. and Mrs. Cake had disappeared into the kitchen.
I looked down. The two foals gazed at me with wide, interested eyes. Then they shared a knowing glance and promptly broke out in tears.
“Oh dear Lord, please don’t do this to me.” I quickly sat at a nearby table in the customer area and tried to get the two of them to quiet down.
I cloud passed over the sunlight that had been shining brightly that morning. I glanced out the window as I gently but urgently rocked the two babies. It looked like a storm was rolling in. A few of the customers noticed it too. One of them muttered about how the weather was scheduled to be clear that day.
Putting my mind back to the task of pacifying the twins, I hummed a bit, trying to get them to listen rather than continue wailing. After living with Rainbow for a while, I had become used to some of Equestria’s musical groups. Sometimes they played them on the campus radio. A few lyrics came to mind and my humming turned into quiet singing. “My little pony, my little pony...”
Cheesy pop music seemed to work, and soon both of the kids had drifted to sleep. There was a lull in the flow of customers and Pinkie came over when she had a moment. She smiled at the results of my efforts and for once didn’t speak in her usual manner.
Almost whispering, she said I deserved a reward for putting up with the foals. She offered me a pick from a tray of candy. I went with a basic lollypop.
My fingers unwrapped it and placed it into my mouth. I flicked my thumb before remembering that I wasn’t holding a lighter, nor did I have a cigarette between my lips. I had been trying to kick all smoking habits, not just inhaling. Darn it, hands. You were doing so well earlier this morning.
“Hmm, it sure is getting dark out there,” Pinkie observed, looking out the window.
“A rainstorm?” I wondered. “I guess I can hang out here for a while.”
My phone vibrated and I answered it quietly. It was Twilight.
“I was meaning to call you,” I said. “Thanks for letting me stay at the library.”
“Sure. I had to thank you for that tip about the kilogram. Spike will help you out if you need anything. Oh, while we’re talking, I had another question for you. I’m in Bolivia and I have a little problem. What do chinchillas eat?”
“Well, like most rodents they get by on leafy greens, fruit, seeds, and small insects.” I paused. “Um, what are you doing in Bolivia with chinchillas? I thought you were in Paris.”
Twilight chuckled. “Well, yes, this little trip I’m on has taken some interesting turns but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I was just-”
There was some faint Spanish spoken in the background but I couldn’t make it out. Twilight paused for a moment to listen. “Sorry Denise, I have to go now. I’ll call you later if I can. Have fun on your spring break.”
“You have fun on your trip.” I put the phone down and turned to Pinkie. “Do you have any idea what Twilight’s up to?”
She shrugged. “She was doing something for the Princesses, I think.”
“Does she do things like this often?”
“Well, not often, but it is Twilight, Princess Celestia’s personal student. Who knows what she’s up to this time.”
I thought for a moment. “Do you have any idea what chinchillas have to do with the international standard kilogram?”
“Maybe a couple of chinchillas weigh a kilogram?” Pinkie shrugged theatrically.
Well, Twilight seemed like she was in a hurry so maybe I could ask her later. Pinkie went back to the counter. I looked out the window again as raindrops began to fall. A bolt of lightning flashed close by followed shortly by a loud rumble of thunder.
The twins woke up and promptly went back to crying.