DAY 3: Dinner and Deserts
“Hey, Twilight. Wake up,” Pinkie Pie whispered. Feeling drowsy, she slowly opened her eyes before coming across a horrifying vision; thousands of changelings surrounded them, hanging on the walls and humming loudly. More of them seemed to pour in through the tunnels to the chamber they were in. It seems that they were moved from their original location and put in what Twilight deduced was the changeling equivalence a courtroom. Things did not look good.
“Glad to see you up, Twi,” whispered Rainbow Dash. “Try using your magic to get us out of this goop.”
“Alright,” she responded. Her horn started glowing as she tried to lift herself out, but quickly sparked and faded away. “What’s going on?”
“That substance you’re in drains magic. Makes a delicious snack when you have a small magical creature fall in and all their magic is drained,” a sinister, familiar voice said. Out of the shadows appeared a large figure; Queen Chrysalis. Her subjects cheered as she took the stand, looking down on the ponies she had trapped. “It seems that we’ll be having a wonderful meal with you six here. You all defeated me before-wait. Who’s that?” she asked, pointing at Cranky who was just staring up at her.
“The name’s Cranky, mam. Cranky Doodle Dandy.”
“Huh. Don’t think I’ve ever met you before,” the confused queen pondered. “Anyway, you’ve all wondered into my territory and must now suffer the consequences.” The mob of changelings cheered when they heard this and rustled their wings. Twilight had to think of something fast.
“WAIT!” she yelled out. “We came here trying to find crysalids.”
“Crysalids? Why would you want those things?” Chrysalis asked. “They’re not exactly useful to have around. The only reason we still have ours is that some changelings actually find them quite comfortable to live in. Otherwise I’m trying to get rid of them somehow.”
“Well, there’s this dragon-“
“Ah. That makes sense. Dragons love to eat crysalids. One of the many reasons we hide underground is because of how addicted they can get to them.” Chrysalis explained. “So I assume that you have a deal with a dragon to trade crysalids for something then.”
“Yes. We haven’t come here for any other reasons than that,” said Twilight, hoping that she had appeased the very hungry looking queen. “It actually seems like you’d appreciate handing them over to us to get rid of. Would you mind doing that?”
There was silence in the room for a moment, then outright laughter from every side. It should have been obvious that they wouldn’t simply hand over something to a pony that’d defeated them in the past.
“Oh my. How rich. What reason should I give them to you? After all, I don’t exactly like you or your friends very much. Sorry about this, Cranky,” apologized the Queen. “However, I do see this as an opportune moment to have the six of you perform a task for me. See, there’s a certain tomb in the desert south of here that has a ward around it. This ward prevents any changelings from entering it. What I want you six to do is to enter the tomb and find the remains of the legendary unicorn Stalfos.” Twilight gasped upon hearing that name, but nopony else reacted.
“Stalfos is a legendary unicorn who spent his life hunting down rogue creatures that roamed the lands. He’s said to have disappeared a long time ago after he went south.” Twilight looked at Chrysalis and asked, “I suppose you don’t know much about it, do you?”
“Why, I have no idea what you mean,” Chrysalis pretended to say innocently. “Anyway, I should let you know that the supposed ‘Hunter of Evil’ was really a Dark Magician who actually used his abilities to defeat other creatures and steal their life force. He wasn’t ever a good guy; he was just a villain who attacked other villains to gain their strength. Eventually he would have attacked Celestia, but he was struck down. Somehow though his remains escaped and a tomb was built in the middle of the desert with a force field around it. It’s been like that for almost two hundred years now, and I want that to change. Bring me his remains, or at least his skull, and I’ll give you as many crysalids as you ask. Deal?”
“I dunno,” Twilight said. “I mean, what’re the chances that you’d actually honor our deal?”
“What other choice do you have? I mean, it’s not like you can just have me make a silly promise and you’ll suddenly trust me,” Chrysalis joked. This gave Twilight an idea however.
“Pinkie Pie, would you mind going over your promise with the queen please?” Twilight asked.
“Sure!” Pinkie Pie burst out of the goop and stood right before the Queen of the Changelings, surprising everypony there. “You can make a Pinkie Promise by crossing your heart and hoping to fly and to stick a cupcake in your eye! You do that and I’ll trust you.”
“Really?” Chrysalis asked, surprised at something so simple. “It seems like you wouldn’t trust me too much, even with a promise.”
“Oh, you will. After all, if you don’t,” Pinkie Pie’s face suddenly became serious, “you’ll have to deal with me.” Chrysalis became wide eyed, and without a word, made the Pinkie Pie Promise. “Goody!” she then exclaimed before jumping back in the goop with her friends.
“Well, it seems we have a deal then,” Twilight said, hoping that things had worked out. “Anyway, we’ll need directions to where this tomb is. Do you have a map we can use?”
“Actually, I was hoping to give you one of my guides. Bob! Get down here!” The Queen yelled.
A bunch or changelings looked around dumbfounded before asking, “Which Bob?”
“Bob the Big Headed! He knows the route well,” Chrysalis clarified.
Soon a lone changeling popped out from the crowd and fluttered to Queen Chrysalis’ side.
“Bob the Big Headed, reporting for duty, mam!” he yelled out, saluting in the process.
“I’ve told you a dozen times, Bob. You don’t need to salute. I’m practically your mother,” Chrysalis said, placing her hoof against her head in trying to deal with this. “Anyway, I’d like you to escort these six to the Tomb of Stalfos.”
Bob looked at the ponies that’d been trapped in the goop and said, “Hello ladies. And donkey.” Cranky nodded in response to being greeted. “First off, let’s get you out of this goop. Can I get a little help here, fellas?” he called out. Several of his compatriots came forward and lifted them out of their trap. The six of them were soon placed on a mesa and were licked clean of the goop.
“Ewewewewew,” the five girls said as this went on. Cranky didn’t show any emotion at all while this was going on. Obviously he’d seen much worse in his lifetime.
“Alrighty! Now that you’re all cleaned up, let’s grab some gear and head out!” Bob declared. He zoomed on toward the exit before looking behind him to find the ponies struggling to catch up. “Hey slowpokes, what’s going on?”
“We haven’t eaten anything since we got on the train that brought us here,” explained Fluttershy. “Here, let me help you guys out.” She took out the snacks that were in her pack and passed them to each pony. “Hope that’s enough for now.”
“Thanks Fluttershy! You’re a lifesaver,” said Rainbow Dash before stuffing her face with the sandwich.
“When you guys finish, follow me,” Bob told them.
“Thank you, dear,” Rarity said, taking a dainty bite out of her rice cake. “I must ask something; why exactly are you considered ‘Big Headed’?”
“Oh, you didn’t notice?” Bob asked. “Look at my head brother’s head compared to mine.” He grabbed the nearest changeling and put their heads next to each other. “See? My head’s a good inch larger in circumference. Anypony could see that. Glad that you guys didn’t just patronize me with my name.”
“Oh, um, sure. Not an issue.” Now that he’d pointed it out, Rarity couldn’t help but see it.
“So we just gonna sit around and watch ponies eating?” a changeling in the crowd asked.
“Let’s get some pizza! Last one there has to pay the bill!” another one yelled. All of a sudden the sky was filled with black, fluttering creatures swarming to the nearest pizza place. Whoever owned the nearest place was going to get a pretty big surprise.
“Alright! We’re finished our food. Ready girls?” Twilight asked the group.
“Ready!” they yelled out.
“Alright then. I’ll lead you guys forward.” Bob went forward, showing the girls the exit to the cavern. “So, have you girls really come across many changelings before?”
“Yes, actually. There was that big thing with the Royal Wedding, remember?” Twilight reminded Bob. “Hay, the wedding involved my older brother. We personally confronted your queen.”
“Huh. I must have been sick that day. I remember that there was something the fellas were bummed about before, but couldn’t remember what it was.” Twilight was surprised to meet a changeling like Bob. He definitely seemed different from the rest of the swarm.
“You know, Bob,” Twilight started, “I’d never met another changeling that acted the way you do. I used to think that all you other guys did was snarl and growl. But here you are having actual conversations with us. A bit surprising for me. I ‘d thought that with all my research that I’d have learnt more about your kind.”
“Oh, so you’re a researcher then?” Bob slicked back his mane. “I thought you looked rather intelligent.”
“Oh. Thank you.” Getting complimented on her intelligence by a changeling obviously wasn’t something that Twilight had expected to have happen to her while she went on this journey.
“Yeah. You actually knew who Stalfos was as well. Not many ponies I’ve come across have actually heard about him. Not too many who do know about him look half as lovely as you though.” Twilight giggled when she heard that. Not only was she being complimented, but the changeling was flirting with her as well.
“Oh my. I’m flattered, but not interested,” she let him know. Bob looked saddened by the news. He quickly seemed to perk up though.
“Oh well. When knocked down just get up again,” he said cheerfully. “So, any of the other girls single?” Twilight just rolled her eyes at that statement.
The group finally reached the mouth of cavern and was once again in the badlands. Bob purposely stayed on the ground so he wouldn’t end up leaving them behind while flying. He warned them about other traps that they’d set up in the area, such as the goop pools and other areas that would give way if anypony stood on there. Within an hour of walking, the group felt the wind in the area pick up and get violent. Sand soon accompanied the wind, and before they knew it they were at the edge of the desert.
“Wow. This looks pretty bad. Maybe we should wait until it calms down,” Fluttershy suggested.
“Can’t do that. The wind here never dies down,” Bob told them. “Alright, let’s go.”
“Wait!” Twilight yelled out. “We might get lost in the sandstorm. Here,” she said taking out some rope from her pack, “let’s tie ourselves to each other so we can follow the other’s lead without losing sight of each other.”
“Good thinking.” Bob tied himself up first and then gave the next strand of the ripe to Twilight. This continued until they reached Cranky.
“Aww nuts. With this rope I can’t even fly,” Rainbow Dash complained.
“Yeah, but it’s safer. Still lame though since I love flying,” Bob commented.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Some of the other guys think I’m a pretty fast flier. I can tell just by looking at your wings that you’re no rookie yourself.”
“Hay yeah! I’m a Sonic-Rainboomer!”
“Neat! Maybe we can swap flying stories. Say, over dinner?”
“Heh. Sorry, but nice try.” Bob was shot down once more.
“Three more,” the flirting changeling said to himself. “Alright everypony! Single file and follow me. Don’t mess with your ropes or you’ll be lost soon enough.
The seven of them soon stepped into the raging storm of sand and tried to stand their ground against the torment. It was difficult to move while the sand hit their sides, but they marched on through, Bob guiding them. Several times through the journey several of them were knocked down by the ferocity of the storm. Luckily none of them succumbed to it though. It took what seemed to be an eternity before they saw a structure in the horizon.
“There it is!” Bob yelled out. The group felt relief at what seemed to be an end to their long trek. Just as they were about to move forward, Bob came to a sudden stop.
“What’s wrong?!” Twilight yelled out over the shrieking winds.
“The shield is blocking me from going through!” he yelled out. “You’ll have to go through on your own!” He then untied himself from the group and pointed them to their target location. Twilight and the rest of the group passed through the shield easily. At this point the wind seemed to subside, as if the shield also protected it from the storm as well.
“Well, let’s get a move on,” Cranky said, untying himself from the rope along with the others. They soon walked over to the tomb, Twilight staying behind for a moment.
“What’s wrong, Twilight?” Pinkie Pie asked, seeing the look of regret on her face.
“Well, I’m just looking at Bob and noticing that he’s out there waiting for us,” she pointed out. “Honestly, I have no idea how long we could be in that tomb, and that storm’s getting pretty fierce. I don’t think that anypony could last for too long in that weather.”
“Well, what exactly can you do?” Rarity asked. “After all, this shield does prevent changelings from passing through.”
“It’s magic, so it can be affected. I think that with enough concentration I can actually create a small opening for him to pass through quickly.” Twilight was determined to make this work. Bob was a nice guy, and she wasn’t going to let the storm claim him. “Hold on!” she yelled as her horn suddenly glowed intensely. A stream of energy poured forth, creating a small hole. “Get in!” she yelled to Bob, surprising him with this act of kindness. He went through the hole that had been created and it suddenly closed shut. Twilight fell to the ground exhausted, surprised at the amount of magical energy she needed to use to create that small opening.
“THANK YOU!” Bob yelled as he suddenly hugged Twilight.
“Heh. No problem. I couldn’t stand to see you just sitting there in the middle of a sandstorm,” she told him. Bob was still holding onto her, starting to seem a little clingy. “Uh, Bob? You can let go now.”
“I’m actually trying to, but my arms are too tired.” Bob struggled to move his arms, but they’d become stiff from all the trekking he’d done through the sand. He probably had to take on the brunt of the storm, being in the front of the line. Twilight also noticed that she was feeling exhausted as well. It was hard for her to move her limbs, and casting that spell didn’t help.
“Uh, guys? I think we’re gonna have to rest up right here,” Twilight told them, struggling to stand.
“We should probably stay in the tomb at least. Don’t wanna be out in the sun for all this time, you know?” Rainbow Dash pointed out. The group entered the tomb and found that there was a large room at the entrance, almost like a foyer. Bob and Twilight entered the room with Bob flapping his wings to lift the purple pony up and carry her. Almost immediately upon entering the room, the two ran out of strength and collapsed there on the spot, sleeping right next to each other.
“Daww,” the five of them, even including Cranky, said at the sight of this.
“Well, I dunno about you fellas, but I think …um,” was all Rainbow Dash could say before plopping down right next to Twilight.
“Oh dear. This doesn’t…look,” Rarity said before gently falling down right on top of Rarity.
“Oh,” Fluttershy eked out before plopping down on her side, pushing into Pinkie Pie.
“Haha! Wow. They’re REALLY tired. I’m completely fine. Hahaha!” Pinkie Pie laughed before she started snoring. Instead of falling down, she slept while standing up.
“Huh. Might as well join them,” Cranky said to himself, laying down and resting.
Big Mac woke up early that morning, knowing that he’d have to do a good amount of work. He was supposed to finish up bucking the apples that were ready since nopony else was available. Flim and Flam said that they’d help out, but they went to the barn and never came out.
“Big Mac! Come quick!” Applejack yelled as she burst into his room. “All the apples are picked!”
“What?” Big Mac asked. He followed his sister out of the house to see that the orchard he needed to buck had already been cleared.
“Guessing those Flim Flam Brothers aren’t bad with apples after all,” Applejack commented. “Well, looks like you’re lucky, brother. That was the only thing you needed to do today, so you have the day off.”
That was surprising news for Big Mac. He almost never got days off, and when he did he never knew what to do with them. The farm was pretty much most of his life.
“Eeyup,” he said, trying to figure out how he’d spend the day now. He walked off and passed the barn hoping that something would come to mind.
“Hello there, Big Mac!” greeted Flim, soon joined by his brother, as he passed by the barn. “You see how we got everything finished for you? Yep, I’d say it was a complete success, don’t you brother?”
“I couldn’t agree more!” Flam replied. “So what’s there for you to do today, good sir?”
“Nothin’.” Big Mac let them know. “Got the day off.”
“Excellent! So what’s the first thing on your list of celebratory activities?” Flim asked.
“Notin’,” he replied. Flim and Flam looked at each other, shock on their faces.
“Are you telling us that you have been given the freedom of a day off and have absolutely no idea in which how to spend it?” Flam asked.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac wasn’t ashamed about having no plans. For him, work was most of his life, so focusing on other things was usually foolish thinking.
“Unbelievable!” Flim remarked.
“Inconceivable!” Flam added.
“You’ve forced our hooves. Looks like we’ll have to act as your guides to having a good time!” the two of them said in unison. They soon grabbed Big Mac and led him into town, hoping that they’d be able to make the colt have the time of his life.
The first place the colts hit was Sugarcube Corner. Here they convinced Big Mac to eat anything he wanted. After clearing out half of the stores’ stock of food they moved onto the bowling alley where they played three games against each other, all of them ending in ties. Next up was the market where they played Thrift, a game where the goal is to get as many different things you can buy with a certain amount of money. They set the limit at fifteen bits and after an hour the three of them met back up. Flim had three items, Flam had two, and Big Mac had five. Apparently the brother’s weren’t that great salesmen without the other helping out.
“Well, it looks like Big Mac is the better dealer here. Congratulations,” Flam said, shaking Big Mac’s hoof. “So, what should we do next?”
“Why not get to know Big Mac better first? After all, we hardly know anything about him. What say you , big fella?” Flim asked.
“Sure,” he replied.
“I’ll ask the questions,” Flam let them know. “So, Big Mac, what’s your favorite color?”
“Red.”
“Alright. What’s your favorite food?”
“Peaches.”
“Huh. Different from what I expected. Do you have a special somepony?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want to have a special somepony?”
“I…don’t…” Big Mac thought about this before responding with, “know?”
“Really?” You must have some idea if you’d like a lovely lady, lass.”
“Maybe? Don’t have much time to do that stuff. Guess I could give it a try.”
“Move over, Flam!” Flim said, shoving his brother out of the way. “When it comes to matters like this, I’m the one to talk with, okay?”
“I won’t argue with you there, brother.” Flam turned his attention to Big Mac and said, “This guy here always leaves at least one heartbroken mare in any town we visit.”
“Except here,” Big Mac told him. Flim’s expression of pride soon turned sour after hearing that. He knew that to be true. Ponyville was the place that broke his record.
“Well, let’s just forget about that for now,” Flim said, hoping to get back on track. “Anyway, there are several things I’d like to know about what kinds of mares you like. Are you a fella who likes wings, horns, neither, or are ya one who doesn’t really care?”
“Dunno,” Big Mac replied.
“Fur color. Any real preference.”
“Dunno.”
“Kind of job that they have?” Flim was hoping to get something out of him.
“Dunno.”
“Brother! He doesn’t know anything!” Flim yelled out to his brother who was sitting right next to him.
“Well, I guess there’s only one thing we can do.” Flam took out a piece of paper and started writing on it.
“You can’t possibly be-“
“We must Flim! In times of absolute desperation, we must act with haste. We must,” Flam said scribbling wildly on the piece of paper, “write an impromptu song to bring the ladies over to Big Mac!”
“Huh,” Big Mac said to himself. Of all the things he’d heard of to attract the ladies, none of them involved writing a song.
“Alright. Just a bit more and we should have it,” Flam told them. Flim was carefully wiping away the sweat from his brother’s face while he wrote down the song and dance. “Done! Alright, now we need to get you to the center of town. Come on!”
Big Mac was pulled by the two of them, but he didn’t even budge. He then just got up from his seat and walked into town to where they told him to go. For some reason they told him to stay out of sight until they brought him forth. Flim and Flam both positions themselves and Flam hit the ‘play’ button on his stereo to give them a beat. Then they sang.
Well hello there ladies. My name if Flim
Salutations, mares. The name is Flam
Us travelers here noticed something very odd
You could probably say that you’re in a jam
The very first thing we noticed while here
Was something that would seem a bit too queer
So many fine mares living in this fine town
But so little couples seen just makes us frown
Well me and my brother have just made a find
That might be the very best of all of ponykind
At least to the race of mares everywhere
Fear not ladies! No need for despair
We’ve found the world’s most eligible colt!
Big Mac was soon dragged forward and presented to the crowd that had suddenly gathered to hear the performance. Flim and Flam then took out pointing sticks and started to stick them to certain parts of his body and sing about them.
Look at this face! It’s just so strong
And yet it’s somehow not too long
Check out this coat, so fine and red
A sign that he is finely bred
These are signs of a pony with class!
Why, just check out this very tight-
But we don’t want you to think
That his body’s the only pro
If that were the only side to him
Than we’d be filled with woe
This colt has such a gentle side
A kindly sort demeanor
If you searched for years on end
You could not find a soul cleaner
This colt here works his family’s farm
Night and day without end
It’s simply a great honor
To just call him a friend
He cares for his siblings
Two sisters, both younger than he
He cares for his granny
Who has a very bad knee
Don’t forget his smarts
He takes care of taxes
He also likes his sewing
A man of household arts!
Yes this colt sure knows the way
To be a gentelcolt
He keeps silent to hear what you say
And won’t try to bolt
What do you say, Ponyville!
Will you give this colt a chance?
He isn’t some passing fancy
Not some regular song-and-dance
So here you folks now see for yourself
The world’s most eligible colt!
The two of them finished up their song-and-dance, both breathing heavily while trying to keep their composure. The crowd of mares was just standing there, looking up at Big Mac.
“He’s mine!” somepony in the crowd yelled out. In a flash, the crowd had suddenly become a rabid mob, each one of them trying to get their hooves on the bachelor.
“I think this may have taken a turn for the worse,” Flim said as he and his brother climbed up a light pole and were hanging on for dear life.
Big Mac was just standing where he was, looking at all the chaos. He decided to simply walk away from the mess and went down and alleyway, hoping that nopony would notice his departure. As he exited the alley, he ended up bumping into somepony, causing her to lose balance and drop her sack.
“Oh! I’m so sorry! Ah’ shoulda been payin’ attention,” she said.
“Nope. My bad,” Big Mac told her. He went down and picked up the sack she had on her. When he handed her the sack he got a look at her face. At that very moment he was stunned. She had a yellow coat with a light green mane and freckles on her face. Her cutie mark was a diced carrot on a plate and she wore a straw hat.
“Oh. Thank ya very much,” she said as she took the sack from him. Big Mac’s expression didn’t change at all. “Um, my name’s Diced Carrot. Ah’ work at The Rosewood as the Vegetable Cook. My sister is Carrot Top. You’ve probably seen us working the carrot fields during harvest season. Yer Big Mac, right? Ah’d recognize that coat anywhere.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied. He’d remembered seeing Carrot Top before, but never her sister. Or maybe he had, but not up close. The fields weren’t that close to each other.
“Anyway, Ah’ was heading over to the restaurant to begin preparations for tonight. Um, you wanna eat at the Prancing Pony sometime? Like, tomorrow? I mean, I’ll make sure you don’t have to pay fer yer meal. Be mighty rude ta invite ya an’ make ya pay.” Diced looked away when she said this, but Big Mac could tell she was blushing.
“Eeyup,” he told her. It’d be rude to reject her at this point. After all, it seemed like it took her a lot of effort to ask him that.
“Ah good! Make sure ta wear yer best. It’s a fine restaurant.” She pranced away, a smile on her face. Big Mac smiled as well and headed home, hoping to avoid the mob of mares that had formed.