Your walk with Twilight was rather uneventful. So was the grand tour of her Tree House, which you'll properly respond to later, As she just led you to your temporary sleeping quarters. This, among other things, lead you to believe she is tired as hell. She actually looks as if she just might fall asleep while standing at the doorway to your room. Which wouldn't surprise and or amaze you, since you know... She's an equine? They can do that.
"Goodnight, Anonymous. I'll see you... *Yawn*. Bright and early in the morning."
Oh fuck! You know what that means: 'Dark-and-early-as-shit!'
"Uh. Yup. Goodnight, Twilight Sparkle."
You better get your ass to sleep. And while you're at it, try to not have any puppy dreams or sexy dreams. You're -still- on trial status, and can't afford to make yourself seem weirder than you actually are. As if it isn't already too late for that...
-----------------------------------
During the night, you've dreamed about nothingness. The very same that reminded you of your trip to this world. However. Seemingly out of nowhere, you dream about fuzziness. Not in a visual sense. No. You're just completely enveloped in a pure fuzzy feeling. It feels so nice. So you obviously do your best to further immerse yourself in the warm fluff. This goes on for the remainder of your dream.
Until...
"Um... Anon?"
You feel yourself being roused out of your sleep. You still don't wanna open your eyes yet. The sunlight is bright and, whoa! Hold on. Sunlight? You decide to open your peepers, which are in full blurry-mode. You rub them back to your near-sighted vision. Yup. You're currently facing the wall, which has a nice tiny window almost right in front of your face. Sure enough, It is morning. Now -this- is your preferred waking up time. Not when it's still technically night time. That shit don't fly with you.
"Anonymous? Can you get up now?"
"Just give me like... ten more minutes. Actually, make it an hour, for good measure."
You just wave her off and go back to hugging your fuzzy pillow.
Wait a sec... You didn't have a fuzzy pillow when you went to bed. You look down and see that you're spooning Twilight Sparkle. Okay, this got awkward pretty fast. You immediately let her go, she then jumps off the bed, and does an adorable little stretch. Now you start feeling a bit cold. Maybe you should have kept spooning with her. Just for a bit longer.
"Oh shit! I'm sorry! I, uh. wait. How did you end up in my bed."
She gives a sheepish smile.
"Well, you see... During the night, I had realized that this is a perfect opportunity to study your sleep cycle."
"So... You were watching me sleep?"
"Yes."
"Hm. I see. But, answer me this, dear Twilight Sparkle."
"Just 'Twilight' is fine."
"Okay, -Twilight-. How did we end up in that... -Particular- position."
Behold, as we observe Twilight's enhanced form of sheepish smiles.
"Aheheh. Well I can explain. You see, while I was monitoring you, I thought I had noticed your eyes were moving frantically, and due to the low ambient light from the moon, I moved in closer and confirmed that you were indeed engaged in REM sleep." She shifts around a bit. "That's when your arms reached out, grabbed me, and pulled me in. Then you just cuddled with me."
Weird. You didn't figure yourself an aggressive cuddler. You'll have to keep this in mind should you ever find yourself sleeping with a stallion. Not that you ever would. You'll stick to sleeping with mares. ...Wait. What are you saying!? Look. Just stop over-thinking things, you dumbass.
"I guess that explains it. But why did you stay with me throughout the night. I mean, I've seen you use your magic to teleport from place to place. Couldn't you just get yourself out of my grasp?"
"Th-That isn't important, mister! Look. I'm gonna make us some breakfast so we can get the day started."
Sheesh. It's like she's never spooned before. But then you've never spooned with a pony either, so you suppose this was new territory for you as well. Still. Way to go. Applejack saw you dreaming like a puppy, and now you cuddled with Twilight? You are on fire, Sir! What else can go wrong? Stay tuned.
-----------------
You ate a nice simple breakfast of some eggs and toast. Then Twilight pulled out some kind of notepad and told you that it was time for some kind of questionnaire. Yay...
"First off: Clothes. Why do you wear them all of the time."
"Because then I'd be naked."
"... I'm naked. Applejack's naked. Anon. We're all naked."
The way she says it is so casual, like they're part of some kind of nudist colony... Which makes sense when you actually think about it. That also means that -You- slept with a naked pony. You sick motherfucker.
"Yeah, but you all have fur to protect yourself from the elements. I don't have anything like that. Hence the clothing. Plus, I generally don't like being naked. All of the time anyways..."
American society has molded you into a bit of a sissy, with its 'safety bubble' mentality, courtesy of the FCC and other over-sensitive bastards. It's something you've always hated. But, oh well, cry me a river and such. At least now, in 'Pony World', you can change yourself for the better, or in your unfortunate case: 'The Weirder'.
"Fair enough," She jots some stuff into her notepad, "But after this, you'll have to strip down, so I can get a better look at your anatomy."
"Hahah! What? You wanna see my naughty bits or somethin'? Cochina~."
"Let's try to stay serious, Anon. This is purely for scientific purposes. For instance, I don't believe I've ever seen legs bend that way before. I'd really like to get a chance to study them."
You just look down to your legs, which are crossed in your sitting position. Thinking about equines and how their legs bend, she's got a point. Though, You still think she probably just wants to see your dick.
"I guess I'll just have to make due with your currently exposed features."
"Wow that sounded kinda dirty."
"Anon!"
"Sorry, Twilight."
You really should have kept that to yourself. But it's so fun messing with her. You can't help yourself.
"Next I need to determine what race of human that you are,"
Race? -Wow- You can only imagine where she could be going with this...
"First question: Can you fly?"
"Uh... No. I cannot."
Okay, now you honestly have no idea where she's going with this.
"Can you do magic?"
"Hey, Twilight. What is that behind your ear."
"What do you mea-"
You reach behind Twilight's ear and 'magically' pull out a coin.
"Um... Ta-da!"
"Huh. That was actually pretty neat, Anon."
"Sadly, that's all I can do, though."
"Then I'll put that down as a 'No'."
What a bitch! It took you forever to learn that goddamn trick!
"And, as for the last question of strength, Applejack has already told me that you were pretty strong. So, I'm gonna put you down as an Earth Human."
You can't even fully comprehend this... How did she know the name of the planet you were from. Is that even possible? Nobody knew exactly the name of your place of origin. Well, the only way to find out is to break out of your stupor and ask her.
"Twilight? How did you know the planet I was from was called Earth?"
"Uh. I didn't... That's just the name of the race of ponies that can't fly or use magic. They've always been called 'Earth Ponies'."
"Whoa... That's kind of a... I can't even think of a proper word for it."
"A frightening coincidence?"
"Yeah. Let's go with that."
"I'll definitely have to tell the princess about this new finding. However, we really must move on; I've been meaning to ask about your claws. They're small, thin and rounded off. They don't seem like they'd be good in a defensive sense or even an offensive-"
Before you could say anything, her eyes go wide as saucers. Not the flying kind, mind you. Because that would be completely silly. But hey, you're in 'Pony World'! Where maybe anything could be possible... Probably.
"Your dietary needs! Oh, How could I be so stupid!? I completely forgot to bring that up when I made breakfast. That would've been -the- perfect time!"
"The eggs and toast were just fine, Twilight. Just calm down-"
"But what if they weren't?! What if I had given you something that you couldn't properly digest, or something poisonous! What if I had killed you, or caused you unbearable misery?!"
"Twilight. I don't know a lot of things about your world, or anything really. But I do know one thing. Eggs and toast are always welcome in my stomach. Well, that's two things technically... Look. Either or. They have those in my world. And they are safe for me."
"So, You're not mad at me?"
"I literally gave you no indication that I was ever upset with you."
"Oh. *Whew* Sorry. I thought for a second that I had completely screwed everything up."
Aye! This mare! She has perfected the art of giving you 'Intelligent headaches'. She's also just as naive as you had thought. You can't really blame her, though. I mean, how would -you- act if you got the chance to meet a peaceful sentient alien being. Yeah. That's what I thought. Shut up.
"Twilight, let's continue. No offense to you, or your hospitality. I just want to get this over with."
"Okay. *ahem* I'll put you down as a herbivore."
"I never said I was an herbivore."
"But you said the eggs and toast-"
"-Were just fine. But what I didn't tell you is that I am actually an omnivore."
"Y-you... E-eat..... Meat?"
"I have the ability to do so. Yes. But-"
She looks like she's about to wet herself. Clearly the smart thing to do is to calmly tell her that you don't eat ponies. However... As you've already stated, you are a dumbass.
Time to have a little bit of fun with this mare. No, not -that- kind, you sick bastard.
"-I forgot to mention that toast fuels my hunger for ponies!! RRRAAAARRRGHH."
Twilight screams and tries to either teleport away, or blast you into oblivion. You tackle her before she can do either one. Then you bare your teeth as your mouth approaches her neck.
"D-don't kill me! Please! I'm sorry about the food! I- Tee-hee! I- HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
All you do is gently tickle her belly with your 'ineffective claws', causing a torrent of giggles and full on belly laugh. Then you let her go, and resume your sitting position with an innocent look on your face. After a while, she finally calms down
"Hahaha! I- Whoo! Goodness! Heheh. *ahem* Anon... What the heck was that about!?"
"I don't know what you could possibly mean."
You earned yourself a deadpan stare. Courtesy of the ticklish purple pony.
"Alright. Sorry. I was just messing around. I don't eat ponies, nor will I ever find your kind as a food source. I'd rather eat my own legs first. But hey, at least we found out my 'claws' are good for something."
"Yes... Noted. Also, I don't like being tickled-"
"Really? Hmmm... Could've fooled me."
"Well, don't you even think about doing that again!"
"I can't make any promises. Sorry."
"Just... Look! Do you want me to force you to undress right now?"
"Wow, Twilight. Was that a threat? Or an invitation." you say with a wink of your eye.
"Wah? I-I... Ugh! You are so impossible!!" She storms out of the room.
Clearly you have bested the intelligent one. Props to you and such. Now all you gotta do is walk on out of here and see a certain orange pony. A promise is a prom-
"Where do you think -you're- going?"
"*sigh* Nowhere now, I guess... Umm. Time for more science stuff?"
"You bet your sweet butt that's what's going on!"
"Did you just sa-"
"If you make a comment about what I just said, I'm gonna require a brain tissue sample from you."
"Shutting up."
"Good. Now... Let's get started with part two: Experimentation."
"Sounds... Painful."
"Oh, don't be a crybaby," Seriously? Her too? Sheesh. "Here, place this apparatus on your cranium."
"Do you really have to use such overly-scientific terms?"
She just points to the lab coat she has on, and the goggles sitting on top of her head. You might die from all of this cuteness.
"Point taken."
She floats some kind of a... Strainer bowl helmet thing. Kinda like the one that Egon used on Louis in Ghostbusters. As long as you keep that mentality, maybe this won't be so bad.
-----------------------------
You were wrong. This is bad. So very bad. You are currently strapped to a cold metal table. Yes, you did have to get naked. luckily it was strictly observation only. This time anyways... It still felt quite invasive. Plus, you got electrocuted. Twice! In sensitive places. And by that, you mean your cock and balls. This never happened in Ghostbusters! Nor did it happen in the sequel! The only silver lining? You probably won't have to worry about shaving for a while, or possibly at all anymore.
"Well, Anon. It looks like we're about done here."
"Thank goodness! For a second there, I didn't think I was coming out of this alive."
"Again, I am sorry about that little mishap. That dial slipped from my hooves. Anyways, I was expecting to find some kind of abnormality on your muscular structure, and responses. However, based on my findings, it isn't that different from ours. In fact, it is very similar to most of the species on this planet. It's really interesting."
"Why, were you expecting something like a Xenomorph?"
"... A what?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it, purple one." You'll have to remember to -heavily- cut back on the references.
"Anyways. I'm gonna need to get x-rays of your skeletal structure-"
"Hey, I thought you said we're done."
"Today we are. But there's still so much I could learn from you, and about you."
"Heh! You know~-"
"Brain tissue sample~." She says in a sing-song tone of voice
"*sigh* Right. Shutting up... Again."
"Good! You're learning. Slowly, but surely."
"So... You gonna let me go, so I can get dressed?"
"Oh yeah. Heheh. Sorry," She uses her magic to release your bindings, and helps you to your feet. "There you go. Ummm... Uh oh."
"Uh oh? Why 'uh oh'." You're finishing getting your boxers and pants on. So, you're not looking at whatever she's concerned with.
"The electric discharges from my machine-"
"Singed my pubic hair? I know. I was there. I saw, and felt it, as it happened."
"Well... That's not all it hit."
You check your arms and head, but nothing seems burnt. What could she...?
"Aw man. No way"
She sits on her haunches, and uses her magic to show you that your Pepsi shirt had been fried. Looks like your naughty bits didn't end up taking most of those damn bolts. The only thing you can make out anymore is the remnants of the classic Pepsi globe.
"I'm really sorry Anon. I didn't mean for that to happen." She looks like she's gonna cry.
"Look, Twilight. It's okay. Don't worry about it. It's just a shirt." Even though it -was- your favorite.
"B-but. Y-you said you didn't like to be unclothed-"
"So, my torso will be exposed. No big deal. Now, if my pants and or boxers were destroyed, then we'd be singing a different tune."
"But this," She points to the Pepsi logo, "is the symbol of your civilization. Your people. Your culture.... And I destroyed it."
Symbol of your civilization, eh? You'll have to run with this. But not right now. Twilight is very distraught. Words obviously won't work, so you do the only thing that comes to mind. Which is to give her a big hug. As you move in for the 'kill' she flinches a bit, but then returns it in full.
*Squee*
"... Hey, Twilight? Did you just hear something?"
"N-no. Did you?"
"I thought I heard a squeak."
"I, uh. I didn't h-hear anything."
"Hm. Guess it must've been my imagination."
"Probably. Wait! I got an idea! We could go over to Rarity's boutique. Then maybe she could make you a new shirt!"
There is a god! And her name is Rarity!
"Let's get a move on then."
"Follow me, Anon!" She says with a big smile.
Twilight leads you to Rarity's place, in hopes of having your shirt replicated. That shirt was really comfy and slim fitting. So obviously this seems like the greatest plan ever. Though, you've never had clothes tailored for you. This could get interesting. Hopefully in a good way... For once.
[End chapter Three]