//------------------------------// // HE'S STILL ALIVE?-! // Story: I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies // by LtMajorDude //------------------------------// Two days later Cotton woke up from his bed. Cotton was mad at the Mane 6 and Hank's friends but he immediately let it go. Bobby let Bandit stay at Fluttershy's cottage. As he yawned, he got up and stared at the clock. "Eh. Got time for a walk." He wanted to hang out with Mark, but he knew that Mark was going at Canterlot to 'hang out' with Luna. "Careful Mark." Cotton muttered. "Ya know how much I don't trust royalty." As he opened his door, he went into G.H.'s room, which was empty. He turned around and saw Tilly. "Tilly!" Cotton shouted. "Where's G.H.?-!" "He's at the train station." Tilly answered. Cotton shrugged. "Alright." As he left the house, his eyes widen. "Crap. That's right. Babs's coming to stay here." He shrugged and smiled. "Eh. Might as well go there mahself." Train Station Cotton walked to the station and saw Applejack, the Crusaders, G.H., and Gracie. G.H. smiled. "Hey dad." Cotton smiled and waved. "Hey son." Gracie waved. "Hi Uncle Hill." Cotton grunted. "Just call me Cotton." AppleBloom jumped around. "I still can't believe that Babs is coming to visit!" Just then, the train arrived. Babs Seed was the first one to come out of the train. "BABS!" The Crusaders shouted as they jumped on top of Babs. Babs smiled and hugged them. "Good to see you girls." "Hey Cotton!" Cotton turned around and saw Ben running towards Cotton. "Hank says that he needs to see you and Applejack NOW." Ben said as he panted. Cotton rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll do what Hankie Wankie wants." "Girls, make sure you take care of Babs." Applejack said as she and Cotton left with Ben. "Babs, I want you to meet our new friends." Scootaloo said as she pointed to G.H. and Gracie. "Hi. I'm Gracie. This is my cousin, Good Hank, or G.H." G.H. smiled nervously. "Hey..." Babs stared at him and also smiled nervously. "Um...hi..." She said. "She kinda looks cute." G.H. thought. "He kinda looks cute." Babs thought. Canterlot Mark got off the train. He let out a big breath. "Alright Mark." He whispered. "Nothing to worry about. Just meeting a girl. That's it. Hang out with somepony." "Whom you have a crush on and is a princess." "Shut up inner voice." Mark muttered. "Oh great. I'm talking to myself." He walked towards the castle. Two guards stood next to the entrance. "Halt. What is your purpose here?" Mark sighed. "I'm...um..." "It's OK." Luna said to the guards. "I invited him." Mark suddenly breathed a bit faster just when he saw Luna. "Hello Mark." Luna said with a smile. Mark nervously waved. "...hey." He said with a smile. "This is gonna be long day." "Indeed it is." "Shut the f&@k up inner voice. Oh God why am I still thinking to myself?" "Alright." Cotton muttered. "There's Hank. Huh. His friends and Mr. Kahn's there too." "So are the girls." Applejack said with a raised eyebrow." Cotton walked towards Hank who was near Twilight's library. "Alrighty Hank." Cotton said. "What do ya want?" Hank blinked. "What do you mean?" Cotton growled. "Ya called me?" Hank shook his head. "I thought you called me and my friends...and Kahn." Cotton blinked and stared at Ben. Ben shrugged. "Hank told me to call for you." "Indeed I did." Everypony was shocked by Hank's voice that came out of nowhere. "Doppelgänger?" Ben guessed. All of a sudden, a draconequus suddenly appeared in front of everypony. "You mispronounced Discord." The draconequus said in Hank's voice. "DISCORD!-!-!-!" Twilight, Fluttershy, and Dale shouted at the same time. Discord took out a hat out of Dale's ear. "Eeeeeyup." He said in a hillbilly tone. Dale let out a weak, hearty laughter. "I finally met Discorrrr..." he muttered weakly as he fainted humorously. Discord laughed. "Finally, a fan." "What do you want Discord?" Rainbow Dash asked. Discord let out a sad face. "I can't meet your Earth friends?" He said as he took out a tissue from Kahn's ear and blowed his nose on it. "Wait. You know they're from...?" "Indeed I do Twily!" Discord shouted as his sad face literally turned upside down. "Two ways. One, Fluttershy." Fluttershy nodded. "I send him a letter about Cotton and his Earth friends." "And the second?" Twilight asked. Discord took out a box out of nowhere and placed it on the ground, in front of everypony. "Pre-goddang I tell ya what-senting!" Discord said as he turned into Boomhauer. "THE PUPILS OF DISCORD!" He kicked the box, which made the side of the box fall on the ground. Immediately, six ponies ran out of the box, gasping for air. "Please don't ever do that Mr. Discord." A light brown unicorn with white mane and a pen Cutie Mark muttered as he tried to breathe. Hank's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "TWIG BOY?-!" "Anthony Page." Discord corrected. "Indeed. You surely must learn some manners Hank Hill." A dark brown unicorn with pink mane and a wine glass Cutie Mark commented. Bill gasped. "GILBERT?-!" "Wait. That's how you say it?" A cyan pegasus with red mane and a hammer Cutie Mark said. "Man, I've been mispronouncing it since day one." Dale suddenly woke up and dropped his ears. "R-R-RUSTY SHACKLEFORD?" A pegasus who looked like Boomhauer, with the exception of his yellow mane and sunglasses Cutie Mark, noticed Rarity and smiled. "Hey man, I tell you what, how 'bout you and me go BOW-CHICKA-WAH-WAH, yo." "DANG OL' PATCH BOOMHAUER?-!" Boomhauer shouted. "Ugh." Rarity muttered. "You may look handsome but you obviously do not know any manners." An Earth Pony who looked like Kahn, except for his black and neon red mane and lightning bolt Cutie Mark, chuckled. "I said it once and I'll say it again. You sound like freaking Brad Pitt." Kahn dropped his jaw. "PHONSAWAN?-!" Hank and his friends looked at Kahn. Kahn rolled his eyes. "My nephew...remember?" "Hey!" Phonsawan said as he pointed at Dale. "I know you! You that dude who kept calling me time-traveler alien thing." Dale widen his eyes. "You're that time-traveler!" Phonsawan put a hoof on his forehead. "I'm not a goddamn time traveler!" "But...that alien language..." "IT'S F&@KING LAOTIAN!" Kahn winced. "Jesus Phonsawan! Watch your damn mouth!" A blue Earth pony with a messy orange mane or tail and a calculator Cutie Mark stomped on the ground. "What about me!" He shouted. Hank blinked. "Jimmy? Jimmy Wichard?" Jimmy nodded and pointed to himself. "That's right. I'm Jimmy. I work at the race track. I was once in a gun club. I smash cans. I create propane art. I conned a con man. I CONNED HIM GOOD!-!-!" "OK..." Rainbow Dash said. "OK?-! What's that suppose to mean! Take it back! TAKE IT BACK!-!" He said as he started to charge at Rainbow Dash. "Now now Jimmy." Discord said as he stopped Jimmy. "I'll let you smash some cans and bottles..." Jimmy immediately sat down like a behaving child. The Mane 6 blinked. Discord chuckled. "Guess that's what happens when you stare at the sun too long." Hank and his friends scratched the backs of their heads. "I can't believe Twig Boy, Gilbert, the REAL Rusty, Patch, Jimmy, and Pho...Kahn's nephew is here." Hank muttered. Cotton let out a glare. "I can't believe it." He thought. "I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE IT! How can mah friends and family not see this! That's it. It's time to do what I should have done back on Earth...time to kill Discord...or should I say......FIDEL CASTRO!-!-!-!-!-!"