//------------------------------// // Stoned // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// "Mmmmmmnnghhh... red ribbon..." Rainbow Dash purred into the high grass bordering the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. Her legs curled up to her fuzzy chest as she turned over in the sunlight. "Lemme... h-help you with that, AJ..." She smiled... smiled some more... then opened her eyes. She saw rows and rows of trees. A blink—and Rainbow Dash gasped. "Oh horsefeathers!" She shot up, hitting her head on a low-hanging branch. Whack! "Ow!" Rubbing her scalp, she looked all around, panicking. "Oh jeez! Oh jeez! I dozed off! H-how could I have f-fallen asleep?! I'd promised to help Applejack!" She hyperventilated, staring down at her numb, tingling hooves. "Frig! Maybe it's 'cuz of the potion wearing off! Darn it! I should have gone to the market before I even came here. But I didn't even know I would be coming here. But... but..." With a prolonged growl, she clenched her skull and hissed into the air. "Stupid stupid stupid! How could you be so weak?! She'll never forgive you for this! She'll never—" She heard several high-pitched shrieks. Looking up, she blinked. An entire flock of vampire fruit bats hung from a large apple tree. Their apathetic eyes stared at her. Rainbow Dash snarled, raising her forelimbs. "Don't look at me like that! I'm still in the game, ya apple-sucking leathertards! Which one of you wants to take me on?! Huh?! Let's have at it! Equano y guano! Your move!" Several of the larger bats hissed virulently. They spread their wings, preparing to swoop down at the noisy pegasus. All of the sudden, their eyes widened. The entire flock twitched, jerked, and flew upwards with frightened squeaks. The group made a bee-line for the northern horizon, abandoning the farm altogether. "Yeah! That's right! You'd better run!" Rainbow Dash shouted. She smirked to herself... then blinked. "Wait... why are they running?" It was then that Rainbow Dash realized something. Her saddlebag was feeling significantly lighter, as if half the weight was gone. Nervously, she reached a hoof back and filled through one satchel... and then the next. "Huh...?!" She gasped. "Wait! Where is it?! Where is..." Her tail brushed up against something beneath her. She turned and looked down, and a tiny breath squeaked from the base of her throat. There stood—firmly in the green grass—a savagely ugly statue of a vampire fruit bat. The thing more closely resembled a gargoyle, actually, and its white granite wings were stretched wide while it brandished a particularly sinister pair of fangs. Once Rainbow's pulse had returned to normal, she realized that the statue was tilted up to directly face the tree where all of the frightened bats had taken off from. "What... in the..." Rainbow wheezed, eyes squinting. "...buck?" "Rainbow Dash!" A soft voice squeaked from a distance. "You did it!" "Dah!" Rainbow spun around. "I... I... er..." Fluttershy flew slowly towards the scene, gazing with awe at the line of bats fleeing across the northern horizon. "You managed to make them leave! That's so incredible!" "Well, I'll be dog gone!" Applejack said as she trotted up with Big Macintosh. She grinned wide and tilted the brim of her hat forward. "And here I thought they'd be nothin' but a hooffull for ya. Guess I underestimated yer bat-wranglin' skills, RD. That's a mistake I won't make a second time." Macintosh chuckled. "Eeeyup." "But... I... erm..." "Oh, please say you didn't do anything too threatening to them, Rainbow," Fluttershy said, already wincing in anticipation of the answer. "I know how short your temper can be with bothersome creatures." "No! I didn't do anything! I..." Rainbow glanced back down. Her eyes twitched. Gone was the humongous bat statue, and in its place lay a familiar granite horn. It had rolled over onto its side, obscured by the tall grass around it. "I-I mean..." Rainbow Dash turned back, smirking devilishly. "I was just—y'know—assertive with the darn rascals!" She folded her forelimbs proudly. "Just had to show them who's boss! They're not leeching off of Applejack's farm if I have anything to do with it!" "Well, that was mighty nice of you, Rainbow," Applejack said, grinning. "Not to mention pretty darn impressive! I can't remember the last time we got them to scatter that quickly all easy-like. Can you, Big Mac?" "Eeenope." "Maybe you could teach me a thing or two about how to be assertive with the mole rats that take bites out of Rarity's garden?" Fluttershy said with a smile. "I'm certain she would appreciate your help. I know I would." "I'll... uh... s-see what I can do, Flutters." "Whelp, guess I've got me a catapult to disassemble now." Applejack rolled her eyes, chuckled, and trotted back to the front gate of the farm. "Big Mac, think you can lend me a hand?" "Eeyup." "Oh! Let me help!" Fluttershy flapped her wings and trailed after them. "I wouldn't mind being useful to somepony today too!" "Well, I'm sure my big brother here would be more than happy to show you the ins and outs of simple know-how farm mechanics." "Sounds very... very interesting..." "Eeyup." "Heheheh..." As the three shuffled off, Rainbow Dash touched down. Gingerly, she picked the horn up in the crook of her hoof. Even with her limb going numb, she could feel the cold-as-ice surface of the strange object kissing her flesh, and it made her shiver deep inside. Nervously, she tossed the thing into her saddlebag, fastened the satchel shut, and flapped her strong wings. "Yeahhhhh... Zecora time, methinks."