As troubling as everything had been up until this point, I could at least take solace in the fact that things have started to get back to being… rational. Okay, so I was sitting in the middle of a dress-maker's work place with nothing on but my underwear, but at least I wasn't getting chased for cuddles. At least not for the moment.
Though if I did start getting chased for cuddles in my underwear, then that would be the new highlight of my day -- and not a very good one at that.
With every second I spent sat like a lemon on the chair, the more anxious and nervous I began to feel. The only thing that diverted my own thoughts were the sounds of machinery in the next room. A whirling, whooshing sound rumbled through; likely that of a washing machine or a tumble dryer. I guess after everything that happened she was still willing to do my laundry.
Then I heard a rather loud splash. Like something being dunked in a bathtub. I just hoped nothing broke.
Footsteps and small dripping noises soon followed, getting closer by the second. As I turned to see what was going on, my eyes widened as I saw Rarity come through the doorway. With almost the same expression when she left, she stared at me as streams of water ran down her face and her mane, dripping onto the tiled floor.
"Um… Rarity?" I spoke slowly. I hoped that she wasn't going to explode out at me. She looked painfully… volatile. "Are you… feeling okay?"
"W-why, yes, of course," she blurted out before biting her lip. "I just needed to---just needed to cool down, that's all… Quite…"
"You have something… dripping down your face," I joked half-heartedly, pointing towards her cheek.
"Yes. I just had to… splash a bit of water on my face, that's all."
A "bit" of water? Looked like she dunked a bucket over her head.
"Listen, Jamie, darling," she said, "I'm really sorry about what happened… um… earlier."
"It's okay. Really," I replied as endearingly as I could, though it was pretty difficult to keep a straight face while half-naked. "Though it isn't every day that a girl tries to wrestle my underwear off of me."
I could almost see the steam pour off her face as she began to flush once more. "N-n-now you stop with that kind of talk this instant!" she cried out, jabbing a hoof towards me. "I was not---I didn't think of it in that manner! I was simply trying to wash them!"
I paused for a moment. Then I grinned. I think this day was going to be quite fun after all.
"Is that what you tell all the guys?" I teased with a smirk.
Rarity let out a loud gasp as she reared back, taken unawares by my taunting. "That is simply not appropriate of someone of my status and profession!" she retorted as she started glaring at me, her eyes fixating upon me narrowly. "I do not like your tone nor your choice of words, Jamie!"
"Would you prefer I took you out to dinner first?"
At that point, Rarity was done with words. Before I could even so much as chuckle at her discomfort, I was met with a very large, very powerful clobber to the side of my face. I could feel my cheek press tight against my teeth for that split moment as I was knocked from my seat to the floor. For a moment half of my face became numb before the pain set in -- rather quickly, too. I felt my eyes rolling in their sockets, with my vision blurred for a few seconds before I was able to regain it.
"You're a filthy animal, that's what you are!" I heard her cry from behind me.
I rubbed my cheek, trying to ease the pain from her right hook. "Jeez, Rarity," I mumbled past my pushed cheek and clamped hand, "it was just a joke!"
"Do you see me laughing at your rather crude and unwarranted humour?"
I wanted to say something, but she was right. I could see it in those glaring, narrowed eyes of hers that just wanted to burn me to a crisp. I did take it too far. It was clear that this style of British humour wasn't gonna sit well with the natives -- it didn't even sit well with most other British people, either.
"You're right. I'm sorry, Rarity," I said as I stood back up. "I didn't mean to upset you..."
Her expression eased greatly, turning from one of abject anger to one of equal regret. "I'm… I'm sorry, too," she responded with soft eyes. "I was wrong to hit you… I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Nah, just caught me off guard, that's all."
Actually, it hurt quite a lot. I was surprised I could still feel my jaw. I was surprised I still had a jaw.
I sat back down once more, but I ended up turning my body away from her, still feeling back about teasing her the way I did so much so that I couldn't even look at her. I heard her gentle steps move away from me ever slightly before hearing the slight skidding sounds of a chair sliding on the floor. She took a seat not too far away from me, with her body making a soft patting sound as she sat down.
"… Are you planning on staying here for a while?" she asked, cutting the silence down. "I mean, if you're going to be here for a while then you're welcome to… you know, stay with me for as long as you need."
How could she offer something like that after all that happened? I didn't know what to say. I felt uneasy. "That's very generous of you," I replied, "but… I don't know how long I'll be here for. I could be stuck here forever for all I know. I don't wanna be a burden---"
I don't know why but, when I said that, I felt my chest tighten. It was like someone just punched me in the sternum. I don't even know why it happened. It was the same as when I talked about cuddles with the others.
"Of course you won't be a burden, darling," replied Rarity, snapping me back from my thoughts. "And besides, it's not like you can go stay with Twilight -- not unless you're prepared to be crushed in her colossal cuddles. And by the looks of it--" she leaned towards my ear and whispered "--you are not prepared!"
Those four words sent a shiver down my spine. I had this vivid image of a demonic Twilight using her vast powers to pull me towards her before she wrapped her whole body around mine, crushing me in her dark embrace.
"… I think I'll stay with you, if that's okay," I agreed without further thought nor pause.
"Fabulous! I'll have to sort out some sleeping arrangements for you, but I think Sweetie Belle's room should be big enough to accommodate you, too."
I hesitated to reply for a moment. But I had to ask. "Um… Who is Sweetie Belle?"
"She's my little sister. Don't worry, I don't think she'll give you too much of a headache."
… Well bugger me with a teaspoon. Had I known about her having a sibling, then I probably would not have accepted so easily. But I guess I can't really turn back now.
"Hah, I'm sure you don't mean that," I said, trying to make some light of this rather dismal turn of events. "I'm sure she's really… sweet. And not hectic."
"She likes to offer help every now and then," she admitted, "although it's not always so… peachy."
"But you always gotta look out for your sibling, right? Even if they're a bit of a pain. Like when they keep hassling you for stuff. Or when they complain that you used all the deodorant. Or when they shave your pubes and glue them to your chin."
"… I don't know about the last part, Jamie. But the rest of it is pretty accurate. But I guess you're right, in any case. I wouldn't know what I'd do without her."
I didn't know whether to smile or not, given her tone as she spoke the last of her words. I paused as my attention drew to the whirring noise in the next room, noticing it getting quieter and slower. "Sounds like my clothes are nearly done," I said.
"Oh! I'll go put them on the radiator then. I'll be right back."
As Rarity left the room, I was left to my own thoughts -- or rather, to my own feelings. I pondered on why I was having these random pains in my chest; heartburn? Blocked arteries? Some random heart condition that was hereditary that I didn't know about?
But my thoughts were scattered as I heard a young, kind of screeching voice from outside. I didn't pay attention enough to hear what was said, but it was coming from outside the front door.
Then the door opened.
"Hey, sis! I'm home!" a little unicorn cried out as she stepped through the doorway. She looked an awful lot like Rarity, except her mane was two different shades of colour and more curly. I guess this was Sweetie Belle? She looks… so adorable!
Well, until her voice cracked.
"Hey! Who're you?" she asked, glaring at me. She then swung her head from side to side, looking for something. "W-what've you done with my sister?"
"I'm in here, Sweetie Belle!" Rarity called from the next room.
But Sweetie Belle responded with a loud, breath-taking gasp. "No!" she screamed as she galloped towards me. I flinched, rearing back as she jumped up onto my lap. "You ate my sister! Why!? Give her back!" She pounded on my stomach with her hooves like a drum, but her little beats didn't pack all that much oomph. Felt kinda relaxing, actually.
"Sweetie Belle, what's gotten into you?" asked Rarity.
"Are you okay in there, Rarity?" Sweetie Belle responded as she pressed the side of her head against my tummy. I jittered a little as her mane tickled.
"Of course I am, darling. It's a bit humid, but I can manage."
I looked down at the little unicorn. Her head slumped down my tummy and her legs went limp. I could see tears welling in her eyes. "Look, uh, Sweetie Belle? I didn't---"
"How could you eat Rarity!? What did she ever do to you!?" Once more she began to bash against my tummy, but her hits were frail and frigid. "I want my sister back!"
"Oh, for goodness sake, Sweetie Belle," grumbled Rarity as she walked out from the next room, her voice much louder and clearer, "what on Equestria has gotten into you?"
She stopped completely. She rest her little hooves on my chest before peering out from under my arm, her teary eyes meeting with Rarity's. "H-huh? But I thought… I thought that he--"
"Sweetie Belle," interrupted Rarity, "This is Jamie Summers; he is not a monster, and he did not at any point eat me. If he tried, he wouldn't have any teeth left to chew with."
True enough. I think she already started with a couple when she hit me.
"O-oh," Sweetie Belle uttered under her breath. She looked away from the two of us, wiping her eyes with her foreleg. "I'm sorry! I thought you were a monster…"
"D'aw, it's perfectly fine," I tried to assure her with a smile. I put my hand on her head, petting and playing with her fluffy mane as she smiled a little.
"He will be staying with us for… some time," added Rarity. "He'll be sharing your room. Be a dear and set up a sleeping bag for him, would you?"
"Sure thing!" Quickly she hopped from my lap and galloped up the spiralling steps near the wide of the room.
Rarity giggled as she stood next to me. "I told you she would be a hoofful," she said with a grin.
"She's certainly something," I replied.
Rarity paused for a moment before her eyes gazed down at my lap. "Your boxers have gotten wet," she pointed out.
"Probably from her crying."
"It looks like you--"
"I know what it bloody well looks like!"