//------------------------------// // Eponalogue v2 // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// “Raaaaaaaaugh!” Rainbow Dash glided over the heads of the Pie Family and dropkicked the thugs packed tightly behind them. She somersaulted, leapt up in an uppercut, and sent two bodies flying into one another. “Ooomf!” One thug scrambled for his gun, cocked it, and took aim. Flapping her wings, Rainbow knocked Pinkie's parents to the floor. P-POW! The gunshot sailed over their heads, shattering cups and saucers hanging from a cabinet across the room. Thwisssh! Rainbow glided across the way, grabbed the thug's rifle, and slammed his face with the butt of his own gun. “Grkkk!” He stumbled back. “Haaugh!” Rainbow spun and slapped her tail across his face, slamming him into the ground. Schiiing! Rainbow heard a long metal blade being drawn. She looked over her shoulder. Romulus had limped up to his talons, scimitar raised. “You!” he snarled. “I know you! I've no clue how in Tartarus I got here but I swear—” WHAM! Daring came up from behind, swinging a wooden stool. “Ooof!” Romulus beak-planted into the floor. Rainbow's eyes darted towards the other thugs. Daring smirked. “Hiyaaaaaagh!” She tossed the stool up, spun on her front limbs, and bucked the item with her rear hooves. She knocked it into the thugs' confused faces. Before they fell to the ground, Rainbow soared in and bucked them hard in their sides. They rolled out the house's door like loose bowling pins. Without slowing her pace one bit, Rainbow Dash flew rapidly around the room, soaring in circles and building up speed. She gritted her teeth as her wings flapped faster and faster. Soon, every loose item in the room lifted up, propelled by her artificial wind. The Pie family including Maud and Pinkie clung to the walls and heavier furniture of the place. “Weeeeeeeee!” Pinkie cheered. “Hurricane party!” “Hold on, Boulder,” Maud wheezed. Rainbow Dash hissed under her breath, but flew faster and faster. At last, she caught up the groaning bodies of the thoroughly-thrashed henchstallions. The thugs of Don Canter flew into her cyclone as she gradually carried them towards the front door. Romulus slipped into her whirlwind with a gasp. Trixie's unconscious body started sliding towards the tornado, only for Daring to reach out a hoof, grab her, and hold her in place from where she gripped the fireplace. “I've no freakin' clue what's happening, but it'll make for a kickass novel intro!” Daring shouted. “Gnnnnggh!” Rainbow spun and spun and spun. She carried the thugs out the door, sweeping up the two she had bucked outside previously. At this point, she was straining, and she felt her entire body going numb. Nevertheless, she kept at it, steering the miniature pegasus tornado towards the edge of the plateau. There, she stopped spinning, gliding towards the ground in a rough slide. Meanwhile, the stallions and griffon caught in her cyclone plummeted off the plateau's side. There, they rolled and tumbled a long way downhill until they were swept up in a river that carried them—sputtering and flailing—far away towards a lingering valley below. Rainbow panted and panted for breath. Eyes rolling, she slumped to the floor, losing consciousness altogether. “Well, would you look at that.” A tiny, tiny talon plucked and poked at Rainbow's shoulders. “Sparky always dresses in style.” “Mrmmff...” Rainbow's eyes fluttered open. “H-huh?” She sat up to see that she was lying on the Pie Family couch. What's more, she was clad in silk blue pajamas. “What...?” Lancie perched on the hoofrest, stone legs dangling. “Not my doing. When they found you outside, guess they figured you were too 'naked' too look at, so they got you some Dredgemane threads to cover up their little hero.” “Their...” Rainbow Dash teetered, rubbing her head. “...little h-hero?” “What, you don't remember single-hoofedly sweeping all of the bad guys out of this place?” Lancie smiled goofily. “I could have sworn I got rid of their memories, not yours.” “Oh... oh right...” Rainbow Dash wheezed. “Unnngh... what time is it?” “Dun dun dunnnn!” He made a dramatic gesture with his stone hands. “Dawn of the First Day! One million chapters remaining!” “Lancie...” “Don't sweat it. I've got the tail.” Lancie winked proudly as he held the long stone shard like a lance. “How about you go downstairs and make an awesome interest.” He glanced at her pajamas. “Or in your case... adoracute.” “And then there was the time I was surrounded on all sides by panthers, bobcats, lions—you name it! The entire feline army of Ahuizotl had me outnumbered! And I hadn't stashed my cat nip with me!” Rainbow Dash slowly padded down the steps in her pajamas. She had to pause once or twice, steadying herself against the wall on numb hooves. Finally, reaching the bottom floor of the Pie Family household, she peered into the dining room. Most of the mess from the previous fight had been cleared, and the Pie Family sat at the table with Daring Do at the head, fluttering on mustard wings and bearing a bold expression. “I couldn't just fly away! Not with the treasure right within my grasp! So you know what I did?!” One of Pinkie's sisters gaped. “Wh-what...?!” Daring smirked. “I charged straight at them!” She slicked her mane back. “Stupid pusses leapt at me all at once. They clonked heads in midair and fell hard to the jungle floor. I was able to snatch the treasure and gallop off. Easiest. Quest. Ever.” The family cooed in awe and clapped their hooves. “Hey... heeeeey...” Daring waved a hoof, chuckling. “No applause necessary. I've been through even worse straits.” She blinked towards the staircase, then pointed at Rainbow. “Now this mare, on the other hoof.” “Oh.” Maud blinked. “She's awake.” “Dashieee!” Ziiiiip! Pinkie was suddenly there, wobbling to a stop. “You're awake! Just in time, too!” “Just in time...?” Rainbow blinked. “F-for what?” “I went into town to report the attack on our house,” Pinkie's father said, standing up. The weathered stallion bore a calm smile. “Turns out there streets of Dredgemane were a reck. The ravines were strewn with broken chunks of rock and disentegrated discs.” Rainbow gulped. “You don't say...” “And then Miss Do here, a world-famous archaeologist, explained that Dredgemane likely suffered from a terrible curse.” “A curse?” “Yup!” Daring Do smirked. “Wouldn't be the first time! Judging from the making of those stone wheels, they had to have been thousands of years old!” “Tens of thousands,” Maud droned. “Those were very old pieces of stone.” “Yes yes...” Daring rolled her eyes. “So, naturally, it brought to mind the events of Daring Do and the Cursed Crypt.” “Uh huh...” “I think something awoke in the depths of Consus' grave,” Daring said. “And as a result, it affected everypony in town. It stole our memories of recent events.” “How interesting...” Rainbow smiled awkwardly. It'd c-certainly explain why I feel so f-fuzzy...” “Isn't that because you're a pony?” Pinkie chirped. “Fuzzier than that,” Rainbow groaned. She turned and squinted at Daring. “And... uh... what of the punks who were in this place beforehand?” “Pffft. What else?” Daring grinned. “Robbers and thieves! They were probably the ones who brought the curse upon us to begin with!” “But they're gone now thanks to you!” Pinkie grinned. Rainbow jumped, for the whole Pie family had gathered around her. “You got rid of them, Rainbow Dash!” “You're our hero!” “Thank you! Thank you so much!” “Boulder sends his regards.” Rainbow wheezed from the center of so many warm, squeezing forelimbs. “Hey... uhm... all in a g-good day's work!” She fidgeted. “Even if I don't remember that day.” Everypony chuckled. She exhaled... then blinked. “Say... uhm... where's Trixie?” “Trixie?” Rainbow frowned. “The Great and Powerful Trixie.” “What, she was here?” Rainbow blinked. She turned and glanced out a window, gazing thoughtfully on the desolate landscape.