//------------------------------//
// Hitting The Hay 
// Story: The Conversion Bureau: The Last Chapters 
// by Parcly Taxel 
//------------------------------//

Ethan's yellow eyes began to fill up with light reflected off the glass façades. Shards of glass were scattered across the floor, as if they put him in the spotlight. Underneath his body was the leader of the Human Liberation Front, posed like a murder victim, silenced. Around the two lay the furnishings of a Subway store – cashier, tray disposal and all. Three ponies were standing by, their limbs shaking in anxiety. The first was a farmer, the second had a six-colour mane and the last was responsible for ensuring winter in Equestria ended properly.
“Have... have I done it?” he stuttered in apparent confusion, his mind having recovered from the shock of seeing his friends in a state of nervousness.
“Sweet Celestia!” The Ponyville librarian gasped. “You're awake!”
“That was an awesome annihilation you did, well done!” A cyan hoof softly tapped the blonde mane Ethan possessed.
“Yeah, that sure was hyper,” Applejack added, trying to use a neologism instead of her distinctive Southern jargon. “Oh wait, is that somethin' there?”
All eyes were immediately redirected to the flank which was formerly blank. It now showed a white arrow pointing north-east, with seven bits of glass at its end.
“Did I just get a cutie mark?” The purple pegasus slowly pushed himself up, being careful not to tread on the silica fragments.
“Well of course you did!” Celestia's student stepped forward with a small smile, patting Ethan's closed wings. “You're certainly one of us now.”
“But what does the symbol mean?”
“Hold on, let me see...” She flipped her purple mane, craning forward to investigate. “OK, you pushed de Lancie through the glass, and that showed up on your flank. Therefore, it must be your resolve.”
“That would work.” Ethan sighed as he looked out at the remnants of the passing conflict. “We should rest ourselves somewhere.”
“I know, I know!” Twilight bobbed her head sideways, as if affected by what had just been uttered. “We're going to rendezvous with the other four at the place where I did those barrier spells...”

Since Barry had effectively cancelled the attack with his fake radio message, Newark was relatively unharmed. Although broken glass lay on the streets and some cars had been put out of operation, there were no raging flames or innocent victims. A computer screen could be seen through one window, the date and time visible among a sea of blue pixels: April 24, 2021, 4:45pm.

“So, what'd happen to these buildings here?” Applejack inquired. “I'd say they're our future homes.”
“No. These things are definitely going down!” Rainbow darted up and slammed the earth hard. “Why? Because Equestria is so much more awesome! Look, ponies can't stand big, freaking pieces of metal and glass, so why leave them?”
“Because we don't want humans to disappear like that,” a studious pony explained. “We must leave something behind, but what?”
“I'm thinking about it.” Ethan hoofed the Cloudsdale weather controller in acknowledgement, before bowing down like a pansy.

It's all over. Humanity is on its final decline, on its one-way trip to assimilation. But what could Equestrian expansion preserve? Definitely not material things – there would be pony equivalents for them, and the originals would probably end up being forgotten or relegated to the obscure pool of trivia.

The books in Twilight's tree library would fill terabytes of disk space. Sure, most of it is exclusive to her species, but there are definitely segments about humans. The question here is, does it have everything? Probably not. She's so obsessed with magic that descriptions of arcane spells take up most of the collection, and many simple things like the square root of negative one are ignored entirely.

“Hello? Is that you?” Fluttershy, following her personality as usual, tried fruitlessly to hide behind the door.
“It's definitely us, don't worry.” A purple hoof reached out. “How's the rest of you?”
“Er, they're all calm and well,” the veterinarian softly reported, pointing at one corner of the room. “But I noticed something on Barry...”
What she was pointing to was an orange unicorn, smiling sheepishly because his flank showed the wireless fidelity symbol in light blue. “I noticed that cutie mark had appeared, and I was in pure joy.”
“I appreciate your thanks.” The pony with a brown mane looked at the window, then at Rainbow and Applejack, who were smug with approval.
“It is so blissful,” the yellow pegasus continued, “now that he has come of-”
“Could I design a lovely dress for our beautiful colts?” Canterlot's most eccentric fashion designer convoluted her neck, pretending to measure both of their proportions.
“Rarity, stop talking about your dresses in the wrong places!” The purple pegasus made a disgusted expression. “Also, I've got to tell something to Twilight over here.”
“I want to know what it is,” Pinkie said, “because then I can make a party out of it!”
“Sorry, I can't share it, and it definitely isn't a party idea.” Ethan went up to the librarian's left ear and whispered.

When the eight ponies returned to their homeland, the sun coincided with the mountains and outside activity had dropped by half. For Twilight, she didn't need to hit the hay. She didn't want to hit the hay, like many others did now. She had her viewpoints, inherited from her best friend who halted the Human Liberation Front by striking its very core. The well-organised unicorn she was, a report to her mentor was necessary.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Ethan today told me a rather serious error humans have made in converting themselves to our kind. They only see the benefits of living with ponies around them, and not the opposite – what drawbacks they face in their new home, their new body.

The quill dropped down left of the parchment, being no longer affected by the librarian's magic. “My idea box is empty, how should I continue?” Turning her head to Ethan's bed and hearing the snores emanating from his mouth, a light bulb came on.

The ponified humans need to bring all their knowledge of their past world together in one reference. True, such information exists in our books, but nopony notices them much. This is for all our descendants to read, absorb and use, so that Equestria may transcend its current limits.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

“Ow!” Ethan shouted as Ponyville's party-thrower poked his delicate wings. “Who was that... oh wait, what's this?”
“I got something for you!” The pink earth pony was dancing beside Ethan's bed, a disturbed pegasus lying on the white mattress.
“Let's see what I had on my nose...” In front of the yellow eyes, held wide-open in disbelief, was a golden ticket.
“Did I... did I just land myself a spot... at the Grand Galloping Gala?!”