//------------------------------// // The Mountain, Starring Spencer Dashie // Story: Utaan // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// "Uhhhhh..." It was a bright morning. It was cold. It was windy. And two flightless ponies stood at the foot of a steep vertical cliff. Rainbow gulped, glancing aside. "You sure there's no way around this mountain face?" Remna nodded. "Indeed there is." Schiing! She produced a pair of metal hooks. "But it would take far too long to trot around them." She slid her fetlocks through the loops that the hooks were braced to, so that it looked as though her forelimbs had curved talons. "The bowers of Wyvern Point exist just beyond this promontory. I assume you're experienced in mountain climbing?" "A little bit, yeah." Rainbow blinked. "But what's with the hooks?" Remna let loose a grumbling sigh. "I can see you've answered me without trying to answer me..." "Could you just friggin' speak straight for once?!" "Just do as I say." Remna unraveled a lengthy rope. "Here. Tie this end around your waist." "Uhmmmm..." Rainbow fumbled with the cord in her grasp. "Fasten it beneath your wing if you're going to be finicky about it." Rainbow frowned. "You're serious about this, aren't you?" "I'm afraid so." Remna nodded. She tossed the dreadlocks out of her face so she could see her own forelimbs as she tied the rope around her muscular girth. "We'll be lucky if we arrive there before Wildcard and his companions. You've wasted enough of my time as it is." "Jee, I'm sooooo sorry," Rainbow muttered. "Darling—" Rarity floated in, gesturing at Rainbow's hoofwork. "That's not going to be tight enough. Here. Follow my motions." Rainbow kept her eyes locked on Rarity's gestures as she continued tying the rope around herself. "Bet you can't wait to chat the Desperadoes up about how much of a burden I've been to you." "I doubt there'll be much opportunity for that," Remna said, tightening the rope around herself and reaching into her satchel again. "As soon as the exchange has been made in Wyvern Point, you'll be back in their capable hooves." "At last..." Rainbow afforded herself a smirk as she finished tying the rope. "You've actually given me something to look forward to." "However..." Remna pulled out another pair of hooks. "Rest assured, I will be keeping an eye on you for the trek that follows." "The... trek that follows?" "Indeed." Remna nodded. "I need to know that all of my labors have had a purpose. Whatever the Desperadoes have planned, I'd hate for my delivery to go to waste." "Or you could just... y'know... buck off." "All in good time." Remna handed Rainbow the extra pair of hooks. "Here." Rainbow cradled the curved blades, blinking. "What the hay am I supposed to do with these?" "Keep up," Remna said, and she spun to face the icy cliff-face. Chtunk! She stuck one blade in. Scnkkkt! Then the other one an affordable distance higher. With sharp, stabbing motions, she climbed the mountain's vertical surface, slowly inching towards the lofty summit high above. "She..." Pinkie squeaked, jaw dropped as she tilted her head up to follow the ascending bounty hunter. "...she can't be serious!" "She is," Twilight Sparkle droned. "Hrmmmm..." Pinkie pouted, folding her forelimbs. "Why does it feel like everything's turned into a super big joke that I don't find funny?" "Trust us, Pinkie. You're not alone." Rarity turned to their anchor. "You'd better hurry up, Rainbow. The rope is losing slack." "... ... ..." Rainbow fumbled with the hooks. The metal loops on them were large, so that her fetlocks fit through them loosely at best. "...Rainbow?" "Mrmmmfffnghhh..." With a snarl, Rainbow flung the blades over her fetlocks and began clawing her way up the mountainface—awkwardly so. "Y'know, I think I would honestly have preferred headbutting armored griffons all the way to Frostknife over this." "Hurry up, little pony!" Remna grumbled from above. "You're making us lose even more valuable time!" "Oh—go sit on a Durandana tower and rotate!" Rainbow Dash couldn't remember a time when her legs hurt so badly. The ascent put a terrible toll on her limb muscles. If she wasn't struggling to swing her fetlocks forward and stab the hooks into the stone face of the mountain, she was dangling helplessly from her loose grip as she waited for Remna to climb the mountainface above her. The pattern was as monotonous as it was muscle-numbing. Every so often, Remna would pause to strategize the best vertical path up the cliff-face. Rainbow would have to wait, dangle, and gnash her teeth from the strain. Then, eventually, Remna found her hoofing. The bounty hunter would claw her way up. Rainbow would wait for the rope to lose slack, and then she'd begin shuffling up after her climbing partner. "How about letting me take the lead for a while?" Rainbow Dash huffed and puffed. "Don't joke, little pony," Remna's voice floated down through the whipping winds. "I'm not... joking..." Rainbow wheezed. "It's a valid plan!" "Valid, yes. Applicable? No." Remna grunted as she thrust the hooks in, up, out, and in and up again. Chips of ice and stone littered the air between them. "I practically carried you through the wasteland below. Only fitting I lift you past this obstacle all the same." Rainbow clammed up with a frown. "Is it just me...?" Rarity hovered up alongside Rainbow Dash. "...or does this creature take pleasure in berating you?" "It's not just your imagination, Rarity," Twilight Sparkle muttered. "There's this... sadistic tone in every single thing she says." "Tell me about it!" Pinkie squawked. "What crawled into her cereal and spoiled the milk?!" "It beats me. But the sooner we reunite with the Desperadoes, the better." Twilight cleared her throat and turned to smile at Rainbow. "Don't let her words get to you, Rainbow. Just keep climbing. You're doing fine." "I know... I-I'm doing f-fine!" Rainbow wheezed. "What was that, little pony?" Remna asked from above. "Wasn't talking to you!" Rainbow growled as she shivered from a chill wind. "Hmmm..." And Remna simply continued climbing. "I wonder if she knows..." Pinkie remarked. Rarity looked over. "Knows what?" "Y'know..." Pinkie shrugged. "Uhm, if it makes this climb any easier..." Fluttershy smiled. "Remna's right. Wyvern Point is just beyond this cliff." "It is?" Twilight remarked. "Well... I would imagine so." Fluttershy blinked. "I'm sensing a dense cluster of living things up in the mountain peaks. What's more..." She grinned, dimples rosy. "...several of them are flying." Twilight exhaled. "Sounds like Wyverns alright." "I wonder if they're pleasant in person?" Pinkie remarked. "Compared to present company..." Rainbow wheezed, sweating and climbing. "...they're bound to be friggin' kittens." The climb lasted for more than an hour. Rainbow Dash felt as though she was dying. Her muscles had grown numb right around the time that she sensed a noticeable jolt in the rope. The cord between her and her climbing partner had grown taut, tugging at her waist ever so slightly. "Uhm... Remna?! What's up?" Rainbow tilted her head towards the sky. Remna had disappeared. Her eyes twitched. "Remna?!" "Shhhh..." Fluttershy levitated nearby. "It's okay, Rainbow." "But... b-but..." Rainbow squinted. "Where...?" Remna's voice hollered down: "I found a niche within the cliff!" Rainbow looked to see that the cord was bent around a jutting edge of stone, leading into a shallow impression carved into the face of the mountain. "It's even hoofing up here! Brace yourself, little pony. I'm lifting you up." "Uh... well okay then—Whoah!" Rainbow gasped as her body shot up. Her hooks dangled in the naked air, and she was forced to look straight down at the murderously distant earth while she was lifted... lifted... and... Th-Thwump! Remna heaved her up and onto a flimsy platform of dead rock. Rainbow immediately collapsed on the earthen balcony, her every muscle quivering as she lay like a limp blue noodle. "Mmmmmmmmmmfff... goddess..." Rainbow's eyes fluttered shut as she relaxed for the first time that morning. "The next time I see dirt... soil... even a single puddle of mud, I swear... I'm diving straight into that crap." She gulped. "I don't care how many earthworms get caught in my mane." "Please..." Fluttershy shuddered. "Don't say 'wyrm.'" "Yes." Rarity gulped, staring painfully at Rainbow's stubbled scalp. "And while you're at it, don't say 'mane.'" "Everypony calm down," Twilight Sparkle said. "This is great! Now we can let Rainbow Dash relax and gather her strength for—" Violet muscles phased through her. The ghostly unicorn blinked. "Wait..." She spun around. "...where's she going?" "Hrmmm?" Rainbow lifted her tired head. "What's the deal?" "We must keep moving," Remna said. Rainbow's ears drooped so hard they nearly fell off. "You've gotta be kidding me..." Schtinnk! Remna jabbed a hook into the cliffface above the ledge and resumed her climb. "Wyvern Point is up ahead. No time to wait." "No time to rest our aching muscles?! Are you serious?!" Rainbow cackled. "Mountain climbing is no walk in the park and this friggin' niche is a goddess-send! For real, Remna! I'm no use to you as a noodle!" "You're no use to me period," Remna said in a grumbling tone. "If we're out here at nightfall, we'll freeze to death. And I'm not sure I have enough materials to make a decent campfire anymore." "I-I'm not suggesting we go on a friggin' vacation up here!" Rainbow sputtered. "Just a little breather so we don't climb the rest of the mountain as limp windsocks! It's the smart thing to do!" "I can handle it," Remna said, climbing. "I can handle us both." "Dang it—what are you friggin' made of, girl?!" Rainbow frowned. "You're like... a big bucket of tempered jerksteel." "The rest of this climb will be a great deal easier without speaking." Rainbow hung her head with a sigh. "Eugh... I give up." "Well, look at it this way, Dashie." Pinkie bore a crooked smile. "We're more than two-thirds of the way up. Maybe it's nothing to worry about!" "I'm almost tempted to just let her carry Rainbow Dash the rest of the way," Twilight said with a frown, forelimbs folded. "But we simply can't afford to let her swallow her own words right now." "Yeah, I know." Rainbow nodded with a gulp. "There's too much at risk, Twi. And I know that. Thing is..." Her eyes narrowed. "Does she?" Suddenly, Rarity shrieked. The ghost mares flinched. "What's wrong?!" Fluttershy asked. "That stone! The one she's climbing!" Rarity pointed up. "It's fractured down the middle!" "Huh?" Rainbow squinted up. "Seems fine to me—" "It's not, Rainbow!" Rarity hollered. "It's loose and worn out and about to crack!" Rainbow's eyes caught the swing of Remna's metal. "Remna!" she barked. Too late. The bounty hunter's hook stabbed deep into the problematic patch of stone. Loose pebbles and gravel lit the air beneath her violet figure. "Hmmm?" A pair of green eyes peered down. "What is it?" Rainbow forced herself up on all four hooves. "Get down from there! That part of the mountain isn't safe!" Remna merely grunted. "Preposterous." She stabbed even further. Schnkkt! "It's starting to fracture apart from the inside!" Rarity yelped. "Rainbow, make her stop!" Twilight's voice cracked. "Dang it, Remna! I'm not kidding!" Rainbow stomped a hoof down. "I... I-I have magical senses and I'm telling you! It's going to break!" Remna merely squinted. "'Magical senses...?'" Just then—CRACK! The stone face beneath Remna split in two. "Oh no!" Fluttershy gasped. Remna looked at the mountain—and then looked at pure blue sky, for she was toppling backwards along with a smattering of loose stones. Pinkie's tail twitched like mad. "There she blows—!" "Rainbow—!" Twilight shouted, her eyes reflecting Remna's falling body. THUD! "Ooof!" Remna struck the ledge hard. All oxygen in her lungs swiftly evacuated, though she didn't have a chance to notice. The bounty hunter's muscular body bounced, toppling through the air and falling clear over the edge. Rainbow gnashed her teeth at the sight of the rope flying between them. She turned tail and ran straight into the mountainface. "Grnnngh!" Sch-Schunnk! She stabbed both hooks into the cliff and held on for dear life. The rope sped between them, grew taut, and—Thwkkkkk! "Gaaaaugh!" Rainbow's petite body was immediately yanked away from the mountain. Time slowed down as she flew backwards, staring at the loose claws looped around her fetlocks. Then—THUD!—she struck the surface of the ledge. Milliseconds later, she was sliding backwards across the stone, the friction burning her flank through her gear. Somehow, Rainbow found the strength to spin her body around. Within a twitching blink, she saw the edge of the cliff sailing straight at her as Remna's weight dragged her towards oblivion. Something gray flickered in Rainbow's vision, and she spotted a jutting formation of rock. The rope dragged over it at burning speed, tugging her. "Hrttt!" Rainbow slapped her rear legs up against the rock formation. She simultaneously gripped the rope attached to her waist with both forelimbs and braced herself just in time. Thwumpp! A sharp pain rocketed up and down Rainbow's spine as her body anchored in place. She felt the pressure through every bone, threatening to break at any moment. "Gaaaaugh! Hmmmm—aaaaugh!" She tightened every muscle as she locked her body back against the stone ledge, bracing herself with her lower limbs. Vaporous breaths seethed in and out of clenched teeth. "Hrmmmm... gnnnngh—guh..." Rainbow finally opened her eyes, panting. She didn't dare bend her body at the waist—or even tilt her head up at the slightest angle. Doing so would risk gravity taking over and dragging her over the mountainside along with Remna's weight. "Grnnngh... mmfff... Remna..." She gulped dryly, wincing. "Remna?!" Her nostrils flared; her fetlocks turned bluer and bluer from the vice-like grip of the rope. "Remna, say something?!" Fluttershy lifted up from below the ledge. Her muzzle was pale. "She's unconscious, Rainbow!" "That fall was a real doozie!" Pinkie Pie squeaked. "How could anypony have survived that?!" "How could anypony survive this?!" Rarity flew towards Rainbow in a panicked white streak. "Rainbow, you can't hold onto her forever!" "What... else... c-can I do?!" Rainbow wheezed. "Not like any of you girls can wake her up!" "What I mean, is..." Rarity pointed. "If your limbs don't give way, then the rock you're bracing yourself against will!" "What in the hay is she m-made out of?!" Rainbow shook from the strain. She spat, "Friggin' hippo in pony's clothing... I swear!" "Rainbow..." Twilight spoke. "At least twenty Joshos! I'm telling you—" "Rainbow, concentrate!" Twilight frowned. "Now... breathe in... breathe out..." Rainbow did so to the best of her ability. "Can you lift her up?" Twilight asked. "For real?!" Pinkie squeaked. "Hold on... just... just... hold on..." Rainbow wheezed and wheezed and... "Mrmmf... grnnngh—htttt... guh!" Her body almost slipped from her muscles' failed attempt to tug the weight towards her via the rope. "It's... it's no good... no... no..." She gulped, sweating bullets. "Hoboy... hoboy..." Rainbow's eyes darted all across the platform. She was literally stuck in that prone position, tied to Remna's weight. "...I've been in awesomer places, I'll t-tell you that much." "What are we gonna do?!" Pinkie stammered, looking at the other mares. "Rainbow's tethered to twenty tons of idiot and it's a long, long drop to the ice below!" "Maybe..." Fluttershy fidgeted in mid-air. "...maybe she'll wake up?" "Fat chance!" Pinkie shook her head. "You think Dashie can even last that long?!" "Could... could Rainbow fasten the rope around a rock or something so all the pressure won't be on her?" Twilight suggested. "I don't see how she can!" Pinkie said. "The only thing within reach is what's holding her in place!" "If... I move... even an inch..." Rainbow strained to say. "...kersplat." Twilight gritted her teeth. "Rainbow, if you fall, you're done for. We're done for." She gulped. "Equestria... Urohringr..." "You don't think I know that?!" Rainbow shook all over. "Come on... come on, girls. Options!" "M-maybe she can just try pulling her up again," Fluttershy said. "Or there could be another way," Rarity said in a distant voice. "...?" Rainbow's eyes darted towards the fashionista. Rarity instantly clammed up. With drooping ears, she looked away. "..." Rainbow looked at the rope... then at how close the serrated tips of her hooks were in proximity to the taut cord. Fluttershy clasped two hooves over her muzzle. Pinkie Pie winced. Twilight Sparkle held her breath. Floating over, she hovered in front of her anchor. "Rainbow..." "You heard her, Twilight..." Rainbow Dash gulped. "...she... mrmmmfff... has no home... no family..." "You're right, Rainbow Dash." Twilight nodded. Then, in a quiet voice: "But neither did Swab." Rainbow's eyes locked in place. "And... for the longest time... neither did you..." Twilight added. Rainbow breathed and breathed and... "We all came back for a reason, Rainbow. I know it all seems hopeless, but so did the Quade," Twilight murmured. "Trust me when I say this. You're the Austraeoh for a reason. Nopony in this world... dark side or light... is awesomer..." Rainbow clenched her eyes shut. Her friends looked on in tense silence. Rainbow frowned. She twisted her fetlock... slowly... achingly drawing a length of the rope over her right forelimb. She then gripped with her left fetlock. Several deep breaths rolled through her body, and... "Mrmmmfffnngh..." She pulled at the rope, slowly, with deliberate icy motions. Inch by inch, the rope slithered back towards her. Rainbow's legs wobbled. Her spine throbbed with lightning-bright pulses of pain. "Grnnngh... hssssttt-ttkk..." Rainbow gnashed her teeth, pulling and tugging. Pinkie watched closely as the rope grinded over the rock structure. Loose threads dangled from heat and friction. The marefriends drifted in a loose circle as Rainbow pulled and tugged at the full length of rope. Her eyes finally opened, and when they did, they were flickering red-on-yellow in brief splashes. Her pendant strobed, and—with a final monumental tug—she lifted her body at a forty five degree angle and slumped back onto the ledge with a violet figure sprawled at her side. "Ooomf!" Rainbow curled up into a little ball, shivering all over. She held her fetlocks to her chest. A tiny pool of blood formed on the stone surface beneath her; the rope had sliced hard into her flesh from the effort. She hyperventilated, weathering waves of pain and exhaustion. "Smashing..." Rarity fanned herself, her pupils shrunken in abject wonder. "Absolutely... positively..." "There there, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy "stood" at her side. She smiled, her eyes moist. "You did the right thing." "Just rest now, Rainbow," Twilight wheezed. "You've earned it." "Mmmrfff... can't... c-can't..." Rainbow gnashed her teeth. Despite the torture it induced, she forced herself to sit up. "Remna... gotta... gotta check..." As soon as the mare reached for the bounty hunter's head—a pair of green eyes flashed open. "Aaaaaaaie!" Pinkie flew behind the others. "Zombie!" "Relax, Pinkie," Fluttershy. "She's just..." The pegasus blinked. "...recovered suddenly." "Remna...?" Rainbow wheezed. "... ... ..." Remna sat up straight like a statue. Her eyes blinked. "...the cliff broke beneath me." "Yeah." Rainbow frowned, shivering. "No crap." Remna blinked. She stood up on creaking joints. "You should have friggin' listened to me," Rainbow grumbled. She wiped the blood from her fetlocks. "Nearly killed us both, ya skunkwad." "How... am I back on the ledge?" "How else? I pulled your sorry flank up." Remna squinted. "You?" "That's right." Silence. "Well then." Remna cracked the joints in her neck and shuffled calmly back towards the cliff-face. "We won't be using that stretch of rock again. Now, get up." She slid the hooks back on her fetlocks and approached another rock. "We'll have to try a bit to the west." "You..." Rainbow's eyes blinked crooked. "...you're not even going to thank me?!" "We've wasted enough time as it is. Now get something to wrap those wounds up in. I need you to stay on point with me from now on." Rainbow opened her muzzle to say something, but she ultimately slumped in place, glaring up at the bounty hunter with thin eyes. Twilight floated close by with a dull sigh. "On second thought... maybe you should have just let her drop." "Whatever." Rainbow spat out the side of her muzzle then reached into her satchel for some bandages. "Shoulda figured... she's not nearly as cuddly as Swab anyways."