//------------------------------// // On Big Booms // Story: All Manner of Meanderings // by Valhuir //------------------------------// “BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Rainbow Dash was literally rolling on the ground in front of me, holding her stomach as she laughed. Specifically, as she laughed at me. “Rainbow, it's not nice to do that!” insisted 'Derpy' Hooves. Not that it helped much, as Pinkie Pie was also laughing, and Applejack was fighting back a few snickers herself. Twilight stepped up next to Derpy. “Exactly! Girls, how was he supposed to know Ditzy's cutie mark wasn't bubbles, it was a spell cannon targeting array?” /O=== --------------------------* *--------------------------===O\ DERPDERPDERPDERP! The sudden, bizarre noise almost literally threw me out of my bed. I fumbled for my glasses, and glanced around. About the only thing I noticed was that it was morning, maybe a little earlier than I normally wake up. Shrugging, I started for my bedroom door to head on out and start the day. DERPDERPDERPDERP! “Waaaagh!” *thumpthunkdrubbadrubbaboomphboomphCRASH* DERPDERPDERP! “Oh dear, are you alright?” I glanced up from the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Twilight and Spike had both heard me fall, and as bad as falling down wooden stairs might be, nothing trumps falling down rock hard crystal stairs. “Whazzaderp?” was all I could manage. A purple glow surrounded me, and gently set me on my feet. I wobbled for a moment, then recovered myself. Spike reached up and held my belt to make sure I could stand, then we headed into the breakfast kitchen. Yes, the breakfast kitchen. Durn castle has like four kitchens, one for each meal and one for midnight snacks. We all took seats around the kitchen island, as Spike started doling out pancakes. “So... what was that noise just a few minutes ago?” I asked. “Noise?” Twilight blinked. “Oh, you mean the spell cannon.” “Spell.. cannon?” “Yes, spelll cannon.” I sipped some apple juice. Twilight watched me. Spike poured syrup on his pancakes. “Twilight... what's a spell cannon? What the HECK would you need a cannon for that you couldn't handle by yourself?” I gestured to her wings. “Not only do you have those and your nifty hat rack, you and your friends are the incarnations of the most powerful force in Equestria!” DERPDERPDERPDERPDERPDERPDERPDERP! “Asteroids.” “... Right.” “Seriously. See, our planet used to have two moons. This balanced our system, and nobody needed to control the sun and moons.” Twilight produced a collapsible pointer, and pointed at a diagram, drawn on a whiteboard I hadn't even seen her pull out. It had two moons and a rather cartooney sun (with a smiley face on it) circling what I assume to be Equus. “Okay,” said Spike, “I'm outta here. Lectures and breakfast don't mix. I'll be at Rarity's!” “However, roughly three hundred years before the first Hearthswarming, an unknown force, possibly a rogue comet, slammed into the smaller of our moons.” The diagram changed to a rather cartoonish sketch of one of the two moons blowing up. “The Unicorns realized the entire system was destabilizing, and created the spells used to redirect the sun and remaining moon. From then, history proceeds as you've already learned.” “So these asteroids being shot down by...” I began. DERPDERPDERP! DERPDERP! “... the spell cannon are the remnants of that moon?” I finished. “Exactly.” She set the pointer on the table, and I realized the whiteboard was now nowhere to be seen. “And Ponyville happens to be the location of the most decorated spell cannon team on Equus!” “I hate to ask, but who's on it?” She tapped her chin. “Well, Thunderlane is the loader, and Rarity operates the breech...” “And the spotter and marksman?” DERPDERPDERPDERPDERPDERP! “WOOHOO, MUFFINS!”