Alex Rider has been a spy for 11 years. He has walled his heart and forsaken friends, even comrades, in that time.
He was killed on his last mission on Earth. Body never found
But in the world of magical, colorful, talking ponies he has appeared. Alive and colder than artic north.
Alex's desire to stay detached from everyone will be challenged not only by Celestia, but also by a certain lavender unicorn determined to show him friendship is the very thing he needs.
This begins after Luna is reformed, so around the 3rd episode.
This AU for a couple things in Scorpia Rising and after.
Cancelled, yet sort of complete. Planning and writing a rewrite.
This story is being edited by Tide Hunter
yikes! My first story ever. So constructive criticism please. Gore tag is because I'll be putting in flashbacks/nightmares here and there.
This looks like it could be really good, I hope to see more.
6953545 Thank you. Just got the 3rd chapter out. It may seem quick, but the 1st 2 chapters have been written for months.
Hope you like this one
Hmm... sounds promissing, here, have a like and a mustache spike, sir.
6961936 Thank you very much
Have you decided to use flashbacks/nightmares?
6977158 I'm still not sure. Every time I try to write one out, it's feels like the wrong timing or I just can't make it flow with the story. I have a plan for Dragonshy, but we'll see.
Very good story keep up the good work my friend
Iceberg=10 Ponies=1
If this keeps up alex is gonna forget he didn't want to make friends lol
Ohhh alex got the feels yay
Ahhh the feels the ice is melting hheheheehe
7000881 Yep, I am just turning Alex into a wonderful little puddle. Or is it a lake?
7001702 No your turning him in to a a ponies best freind even if he don't like it,
"Oh my, my plan is wotking to well." Can't wait till he meets chrysalis.
love it can't wait for the gala and alex to test his wings for the first time
Hell Alex just admit it there your friends and that your starting to feel happy again.
7006136 Oh he'll do that eventually. I just have to put him through an emotional wringer first.
Eh, not too bad though. I'm finding I'm not an angst writer. I always end up writing fluffy things.
yay was a but that was a butt hole move by discord now i can't wait till the wedding haha
Dawwwww, it's so happy...
A flying tortoise. Well then.
7013132
It is show canon, there was no way I was changing that part.
I imagine Alex snickering every time he sees Tank though.
Let me guess... Happy Ending?
I figured as much.
ahhh its a fluffy
Curse you blunt why did you have to reck Alex's life
er.
mah.
gerd.
Chysilsis is in deep trouble now she just pissed of Alex one word SPLAT.
I haven't started reading yet, but some of the chapters came out really close together. Why don't you put them together?
*they
Bit short. I don't really like short chapters. It breaks immersion when I have to click to the next one.
Oh no. Not this "created" religious bullshit!
*dominant
I'm out. This doesn't keep my attention at all.
7048741 That's too bad. I'll definitely fix those mistakes you pointed out and think on combining some of the chapters.
You can name that guard Loyal Shield. I may come up with more names in the future
7056402 I will use it :) I like it. Thanks
Did his shoulder open, or what?
And not till it's until for a more proper way
Well well well, I finally catched up to the end and I want to give you an overall rating. First off you end the sentences and start a new ones that are ending the first one, you also Skip to much and start at an unknown time passes like;
You need explain it a bit like this;
Or something in a familiar fashion. You should also not speed run the chapter or at least correct the visible mistakes like;
Writing chapters correctly should bring more readers and fewer dislikes to your story. (And write something that makes sense, not like my sentence
)
I would also liked to see more chapter that were made by you and weren't taked from the main story. I know that you change it a bit, however you should make whole chapter yourself and without the main story. I do not know if you have a plan, that will change the story or not, but you should really consider my offer, it will bring you more views and likes and fewer dislikes. (I hate haters
)
Well I think that I told you everything that I wanted to tell. Should you need more answers or have questions I am willing to help you out (Oh, and don't ask me a lot of grammar rules, because I, myself, don't know much about it!)
Peace
7060184 Hey, thanks for the advice. I see what you mean about rounding out the story and sentences.
I do have an editor, but he is still in high school, so he gets busy with that. He is the one that catches the mistakes I miss.
I will try one of my own chapters soon. I'm just a little...daunted. This is the first story I've written in...forever it seems.
7060363 Well I'll be waiting for a new chapter then!
ahhhh alex thats so fluffy and taking twilight for a flight is a great bonding moment but yeah you just jinxed yourselves and the next terror is.... wahhahahahahahahahaha
7060184 You were pointing out ways to improve, but I have to say that you weren't doing too fine with your sentence construction and spelling.
Mind if I fixed that? Comments are shorter than chapters.
Well well well, I finally managed to catch up, and I want to give you an overall rating. First off, you end the sentences and start a new ones that end the first one, and you also skip to much and start at an unknown time passes like;
He went to have a drink. When done he went to sleep
You need explain it a bit like this;
Feeling thirsty, he went to have a drink. Reaching the fridge, he took a soda/beer/cider/water and drank it. Once finished, he went back to sleep.[color]
Or something in a familiar fashion. You should also not speed run the chapter, or at least correct the visible mistakes like;
I ran through the hall and skidded to a halt. i saw a...
Writing chapters correctly should bring more readers and fewer dislikes to your story. (And write something that makes sense, not like my sentence
)
I would also liked to see more chapter that were made by you and weren't taken from the main story. I know that you change it a bit, however you should make whole chapter yourself, without the main story. I do not know if you have a plan that will change the story or not, but you should really consider my offer, as it will likely bring you more views and likes and fewer dislikes. (I hate haters
)
Well, I think that I told you everything that I wanted to tell. Should you need more answers or have questions I am willing to help you out (Oh, and don't ask me a lot of grammar rules, because I, myself, don't know much about it!).
Peace
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. and so on for FiveEver (watch the new episode)
I'm actually sad for the story that it's cancelled (completed), I understand your reasons and will not stop you you, but if you ever want to continue it don't be afraid and do it. Well the whole story was Good, not like thoose strange one's that are exactly just like the show, but with a human near Mane 6. Anyways I think this is a goodbye for now, until you won't rewrite it completely and continue (if). So it's a Farewell for this story, this story because you might write another one :P