Anonymous is teleported into Equestria by unknown means, to him at least. His arrival is definitely a sign of how his adventures will turn out.
Anonymous is teleported into Equestria by unknown means, to him at least. His arrival is definitely a sign of how his adventures will turn out.
Coping with this strange circumstance will be the least of his worries as he meets a group of zany ponies that will end up being his 'caretakers', and in due time, his friends.
You are Anonymous. You are currently enjoying a nice day off after a six day work-week. Which, as you would imagine, wasn't very fun.
"I have to pee."
And you obviously have to pee...The reason? You got a good paycheck for the week, and decided to buy some celebratory tequila. It was definitely well deserved. Working at a grocery store takes its toll. Oh, you've always been a patient person. But everyone has their limits. And you swear, a truck full of 'idiot juice' must've recently spilled over this side of town.
Anyways. You finally stumble into the bathroom. Clearly deserving a gold star for that wobbly performance. Most people don't correct themselves when they accidentally walk into the closet. Especially when you were primed to release some gold upon the floor. Living alone has its perks. Not many, but let's think silver linings here. Like leaving the toilet seat up. Which, in photo-finish moments like these, can make all the difference.
Right when you unzip and drop trou, you begin feeling tingly. And not piss orgasm tingly, because you haven't even started yet. No, this is some foreign shit going on. You notice a purple aura around your hands and lower half. Leaning over to look at the mirror, you notice it's all around you. Clearly you are going to die. So you do what comes naturally: Tighten the grip on your dick and hold on for dear life. If anyone ever finds your body. They'll probably understand.
The tingly feeling just gets... tinglier? (Yeah, that's a word. I think) Here you thought dying was supposed to be serious, but you are on the verge of letting out some serious girly giggles. As we all know, That is some anti-serious shit, son!
It feels as if the whole room is shaking, when suddenly, Some kind of orb of white light appears in front of you, and begins engulfing the entire bathroom.
Then everything just stops... And goes blank.
--
You are Apple Bloom. And yer wondering what you and yer 'Cutie Mark Crusader' friends should do next.
"We've already tried dress makin', butterfly catchin', an' some *shudder* comedy routines. And we still got the whole day ahead of us. What should we do."
"Maybe we can play some kind of... Game?" You can always count on Sweetie Belle to come up with a good idea... Usually.
"Good thinkin'. What should we play."
"Ooh! How about 'Hide-and-seek'. Not it!"
"Ya can't jus' call, 'not it', Scootaloo. We gotta-"
"NOT IT!" Darn it, Sweetie Belle.
"*Sigh* Alright, alright. Ya'll go an' hide, I'll start countin'." You give them time to run off an' find a good hiding place. You stand in front of a tree and begin the countdown... er, count-up? Hmmm. You'll have to ask Applejack about that. "ONE! ... TWO! ... THREE! ... F-"
Your countin' is interrupted when you see the area go all bright an' stuff. And before you have time to turn around, you feel some kind of really warm water falling onto yer head an' down yer back. Heh! It feels really good, an' you kinda wanna try drinkin' this mystery water, first you gotta find out where it's coming from. Ya know, safety, an' all that.
You turn around and see it's coming f-from... a... g-giant... M-m-monster!
--
You are Anon. And you are wondering what is going on. Time seems to have stopped. You are enveloped in darkness, and you still have to pee. Is this truly death? Feeling like you gotta pee but can never release it? This sucks balls. A speck of light appears in the horizon, or what you think is the horizon. Did you not mention that It's really fucking dark? You did? Oh... You squint so you can judge the distance, or just to try and look intelligent. Not that anyone is here to judge. Before you can even make a mental note of anything, you are covered in light, and Bam! It feels as if you just got, what you imagine, a flashbang to the face.
When you open your eyes, and are finally able to see things that aren't either darkness or pure light, you see an apple tree in front of you, and some seriously colorful scenery. Like someone got crazy with the saturation levels. They go to 11! But, there's no time for sightseeing. You still gotta pee. Your pants and boxers are still at your ankles... Let's do this. Sorry, tree. But it's time for a golden shower. Strange, you're hearing the patter from peeing on grass. But... You are on dirt. You look down when you hear some shuffling, And...
You see that you are peeing on what looks like a small yellow horse of some kind. Like, the smallest you've ever seen. And it's wearing a bow in its mane. Huh... Say something!
"Um..."
"MONSTER!!!"
The little horse scampers away. But... It just shouted 'monster!' like, in English. You know, that language that you can understand? That... That can't be right. No... This is all kinds of wrong. Horses don't talk. Well, Except for that time you tried acid. Hoo boy. You were talking nothin' but gossip with those mares back at your uncle's ranch. But, you've been clean for months. Maybe you drank some bad tequila?
Oh. You're also done peeing now. You go to make yourself decent, and take a moment to really look around at the environment. Did you say 11? This is saturation level: Eleventy-million, and a quarter. Ya know, For good measure. You are almost completely at a loss of words, actions, movements, brain skills. This is just... Fuck, you don't even know where to start.
Your thoughts, or, lack thereof in this case, are broken up by the sound and feel of some kind of a herd moving towards you. Maybe that tiny horse brought even more tiny horses. Should you be afraid? Should you run? Fight? When the herd finally reaches you. What you see can't easily be described, but you'll try anyways. You see horses, not as small as the one you pissed on. They are bigger, but not by much. The colors! They are magnificent! You see an orange one, and a red one. Those are the bigger horses. You also see the little yellow one that you pissed on. She's with two smaller horses. One is white, The other, a darker shade of orange.
"There it is! The one that poured some kind of mystery monster water on me"
The orange-colored horse takes two steps forward, guarding the tiny yellow one. "Now listen here... Whatever you are. Not only are ya trespassing on our property, but ya poured some kind of evil water on mah sister. Ya got ten seconds to explain yerself. Or yer gonna have ta face me, an' mah big brother."
"Eeyup!"
That red one. It's built like some kind of... powerful thing, of some sort. The orange one could also probably kick your ass into next week. Okay, okay. Let's think of a plan... Seriously! Anything would be lovely right about now. Hmmm. Maybe if you faint, they'll leave you alone. No. They'll probably pummel you while you're on the ground. Easy target, and such. You could maybe, Run? You can't outrun horses. Hell, not even ponies. And yes, you've tried before. Maybe this isn't real, and you're still lying on the bathroom floor, just clenching your wiener. That's your best bet. You gotta think clearly now. ~There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home... While holding my dick...?~
"Time's up, partner!"
Nope. You. Are. Fucked. Up the booty butt!
--
You are Applejack. And you are so gonna kill this... Whatever this thing is. Ya can't have any monsters pouring evil water stuff on yer kin. Ya gave it some time to explain itself. But it just stood there, looking like it had some kinda argument with nopony in particular... Oh well. "Time to put this thing outta its misery. Ya ready, Big mac?"
"Eeyup!"
You ready yer rope and-
"Applejack! Hold on!" Twilight runs to meet you, looking like she must've ran the entire way from Ponyville. Huh. Guess she's finally getting out more. Good for her.
"Twilight? What're you doin' here. Actually, it don't matter none. Would ya like ta help us git rid of this monster?"
"No! It's n-"
"Really? Okay then. Jus' make sure little Apple Bloom, an' her friends stay safe. I reckon this thing ain't goin' down without a fight."
--
Okay, Twilight. Just calm down, catch your breath, and do the sensible thing. You quickly run past Applejack, and make your stand in between her, and the creature.
"Twilight! What're ya doin'? That thing is evil!"
"No, It isn't. Or... I'm pretty sure it isn't. Okay, I don't know for sure."
"... Twilight. Are you feelin' alright? Do ya need ta lie down fer a sec? Ya should probably go an' do that. Maybe somewhere -away- from the monster?"
Wow, good job there, Twilight. Always thinking things through. Still, you made the move, now you gotta stick with it. You don't know what this creature is, or what its intentions are. But you have to give it a chance. And the first step is to stop Applejack from killing it. Or vice-versa. That is a big possibility. One you don't want to see become manifest. Time to lay all your metaphorical cards on the equally metaphorical table.
"Look! I was the one who summoned this creature! And I don't want its first impression of us, to be one of hostility!"
You have successfully stunned Applejack, and everypony else. As well as the new creature. You just hope that you calmed everything down long enough for the Princess to arrive. Actually! Speaking of that. You have to talk to the creature, and make sure he understands what's going on. This could be difficult.
--
Words... They fail you at this very moment in time. And, you're still not sure what to make of all this. Which is understandable. All of that bickering between those two mares, was strange. I mean, tiny, talking, colorful, and magical horses? How does that even?! You don't even. The best part? The very second the purple unicorn mentioned that she had summoned you, everything, It just went 'boom!' As in: Bye-bye, gone, Elvis has left the building, The truck is on; but no one is the sharpest tool in the shed... Uh... Still. Time to boot up the system. The unicorn! She approacheth!
"Look, Whoever you are. I don't know where exactly I summoned you from, or what kind of life you may have been used to. But, please. Hear my plea. We are a peace-loving race. And we wish to keep it that way,"
"... Okay..." You can only just barely contain your sanity as she continues.
"Good. Now, Princess Celestia, one of our leaders, is on her way to meet you. And It would make for a really great first impression if you would show her some form of respect."
As adorable as the unicorn is in this pleading state, You wish you could wake up from this trip. This seriously cannot be real. It just can't. You wish you had brought that 'bad' bottle of tequila with you. Or maybe if you had drank some bourbon, you could have gone to a magical land of anteaters, or Kiwi.
Jeez. You really need something to help you deal with this. Your knees buckle as you begin to feel weaker and weaker. Oh, you suppose the ground is a good alternative for now.
You hear gasps from the horses before you fully pass out.
After your little 'nap time' bit. You woke up inside what you believed to be a castle. Which you were correct in assuming, however. Let's not get ahead of the game here. You had thought you would wake up face-down in the bathroom, but no, you were greeted by those two horses, plus three others. Oh! More importantly, there was another horse. This one was closer to an actual horse size, but not quite there.
She had introduced herself as 'Princess Celestia'. A horse princess... You're not sure why, but you had imagined a Mario game with a small horse princess instead of princess Peach. More to the point, she had explained that, through a dimensional spell, you were randomly brought here. With the possibility of infinite dimensions, you felt slightly honored... only slightly. The princess had set up a test for her protégé. The test was to use some kind of advanced spell of some sort, from a wizard you knew nothing about.
You had asked the question for your eventual return. Their nervous glances said everything. You said nothing, except just stare blankly into nothing in particular, as all of this finally dawned on you. This went on for a good couple of minutes, coupled with a nauseating feeling. The fair horse prin-
"I do not wish to be rude, Anonymous. But, specifically, we are ponies."
Right. The fair -PONY- princess, claimed that she would still try to find a way to send you back home. Though, one question lingered.
"I can see that you are well mannered. However, I wish to know your true intentions, as one of my subjects claimed that you poured some kind of 'evil monster water', onto her younger sister. Is this true?"
Oh dammit... You were hoping that wouldn't have come up. But, oh well... Time to do honesty.
"Well, your pony highness. It was not, as she claimed, 'evil water'. *deep breath* It was pee."
The room goes silent as a corpse... which is what you felt like you might become in due time. Mainly based on the angry glare from the orange pony.
"You PEED on my sister!?"
You quickly explained the circumstances of your arrival. About how you were transported here as you were about to urinate into 'your toilet'. Ergo, as soon as you arrived, your body continued where it left off: Peeing. Onto a poor little filly that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You still gave her a heartfelt sorry. As well as a promise that it'll never happen again. She seemed to accept your answer, but still looked a little miffed. Which is completely understandable.
"Well, *giggle* *ahem* excuse me. I do believe we have more important matters to speak of. For instance, Twilight. I want you and your friends to watch over Anonymous. Help him integrate with our society, and keep him safe from harm."
"We'll do our best, Princess!"
Well, you thanked the princess. But, really, you couldn't add anything intelligent to the topic, so you just went with it.
"Oh, and before I forget. Here, Anonymous. Carry this with you at all times."
She gives you a scroll. You'd read it. but she'll just tell you about it anyways.
"It will waive any and all fees that may come up with your integration. Food, clothing, etcetera."
"Wow! Um, thanks! I really appreciate this."
"It's the least I an do for simply ripping you from your home with no way to return. I feel just awful. Maybe I should not have used that spell..."
You tried to console her, but your still in the beginning stages of coping with this situation. Actually, for once, you didn't go into a full-blown panic mode. Good on ya, amigo!
------------
Onto the present.
-----------
You and your posse just arrived back to what they called 'ponyville'. Adorable. And it was time to do the proper introductions.
Rainbow Dash - Definitely a competitive spirit in that one, and very narcissistic. Not a quality you find favorable. But, hopefully she's not completely egotistical.
Rarity - A lady... er, pony lady? anyways, as an up and coming seamstress, she carries herself very well. Though you see a hint of her having delusions of grandeur. But, you chalk it up to her having high goals. Very admirable. Hopefully she can replicate some clothing for you. Otherwise, with only one set of clothing, you'll eventually end up naked... somehow.
Twilight Sparkle - Aye! These names... They sound so silly. Anyways, she is full of knowledge, and is always seeking more. Which is also very admirable. Though, there are subtle hints at her being a bit on the naive side. Which is not a big deal. It's actually kind of cute. You'll definitely need to get in touch with her so you can learn about well, everything.
Applejack - Wait... A pony named after alcohol? You like her already. Plus, the stetson is cute. -Anyways-. She's all about honesty, hard work, and family. Damn! You could really get along with this one. Too bad you might have screwed the pooch by peeing on her little sister.
Pinkie Pie - GOOD-NESS! Where to start. How about, she talks so fast it makes you want to puke. She loves making people, er, ponies, smile. And she has lots, and lots, and lots, of friends. You'll take her in small doses. Otherwise you won't be held responsible for the damage caused by your head exploding.
Fluttershy - Well, she's quiet. And, from what you heard everyone else say, she's good with animals, is very kind, and is a pretty good field medic. That could come in handy for when your dumbass eventually gets into some trouble. Because It will happen. Oh, it WILL happen. You dumbass.
And there's you - You told them where you worked, lived, and such. Not much else to tell. You are 'Mr. Introvert'. Sure, you had friends, but if you weren't hanging out with them. You didn't go out. Which, makes you feel kinda bad. Maybe... you can start over. better yourself? Who knows.
"So... now that you know my 'interesting' story. What now."
Twilight perks up. "It's getting late. so, obviously you're gonna have to stay with one of us."
"Wait. You all don't sleep together?"
Despite all of the blushed faces, Rarity speaks up. "Wha... what are you suggesting, Anonymous?"
Whoops... Did they think you meant...? Wait... "No. Wait. I meant in a stable or something."
They look at you even more flustered. Gah! Why can't you do anything right!? You take a deep breath, and tell them some quick info about equines from your world. About how more often than not, they're kept in stables, which are separated by stalls. That seems to have calmed them down some.
"I call dibs on takin' Anon fer the night!"
Really? You figured that Applejack would be the last... Wait. Oh, you see now. She's going to kill you in private. Shit...
"Okay. That settles it. We'll figure out some kind of rotation tomorrow. Ooh! I'll keep a log about this, that way it'll me much more organized so we don't have to fight or bicker. Plus it will also help to keep track of Anon's finances-"
"... Right. Ya do that Twi..."
Twilight adopts a sheepish expression. "aheheheh... Sorry, girls, I just got excited. I mean, An we're in charge of an actual extraterrestrial. This is really fascinating! I mean-"
Rainbow Dash puts a hoof to her mouth. "Yah. I think we better call it a night, before Twilight's lecture puts us -all- to sleep."
They all say their farewells and such. Leaving you with your future murderer.
"Alright. C'mon, Anon. Follow me."
Yes... Follow her. To your doom! A short walk later, and you see a farm. A farm of apples. She eventually leads you to what looks like a storage shed.
"This'll be where you'll stay for tonight. Ya better get some good sleep, 'cus come mornin', I'm puttin' ya through yer paces."
Yes... Your paces. Of death! "Well, Thanks. Applejack. I mean it, thank you. I know after what I did to your-"
She puts a hoof on your chest, since she can't reach your mouth. "Hey now! No more of that. Not tonight anyways. Just get your rest. Yer gonna need it."
"Okay. And, um... Goodnight."
"... Yeah. See ya in the mornin'."
You find a cot of some sort... It's a bit small. But it'll do. You find some extra wool blankets to use as a pillow and as a... well, proper blanket. You can only imagine what the morning holds for you. Hopefully not doom. That would suck. Especially when it's in the form of a pony wearing a stetson. Seriously, that's pretty damn awesome.
You are currently leaping from rooftop to rooftop, all while avoiding enemy gunfire. Your peripheral vision catching redcoats climbing up to meet your elevation. Clearly you've spent too much time up top. You're gonna have to try and find a new route. Hmmm. Looking down an alley, you see a lone guard. He's reloading his musket. What an easy target he just made himself.
Leaping from the rooftop, you land on him, while jamming your hidden blade into his heart cavity. Soon, he goes silent. You dislodge your blade, and use his coat to wipe it clean. You quickly make your way down the alley. Three Hessians appear from around the corner, and move to block the exit. You turn around and you see two more blocking your last hope for escape. Damn. You draw your left blade out into your hand, unsheathe your tomahawk, and face them. They ready their own weapons, rush you, and the battle ensues.
Block, disarm, and strike. It wasn't a kill, but know they know you mean to finish this. Another Hessian makes his move. Block, strike, miss, Take a sword slash to the gut. Fuck! You gotta remember: Aside from the hidden blades, an Assassin must have a clear mind, and calm heart.
As you ready to block another attack. The ground violently shakes. All of you are knocked off of your feet. Before you or your enemies can question anything, the ground shakes again. this time more violently. Soon, everything eventually goes black.
--------------------------------------
"Hey, Anon. *snicker* Ya gotta get up."
"Wha? Who?"
You awaken from your slumber to find a blurry orange form. The form reaches out and shakes you. All you can do is stare. Hopefully this orange fuzzy is a peaceful entity.
"Anon. Heh. When I said ya needed ta get good rest I didn't mean -that- good."
You wipe the sleepiness from your eyes and see that it's Applejack who has awaken you. You sort of panic internally, but then you finally realize that, yes... You're still in pony land. A dream within a dream. Not literally. This is your home now. You just still haven't quite grasped it yet.
"What do you mean."
"Heh. You was whimperin' while kickin' yer arms an' legs like a little puppy."
Strange. You definitely weren't having a puppy dream. But It could've been worse. "At least you didn't catch me doing anything else..."
"Hmm? Like what."
It's WAY too early for this, better end it here. "Er, nothing. Don't worry about it." You expect to see sunshine in the shed, but... it's still pitch black. "Applejack?," You look out the only window in the shed. "It's not even morning yet. What the heck did you wake me up for."
"Oh, c'mon know, don't be such a baby. We got plenty of work ta go around. We jus' need ta find out what yer good at. So, might as well get an early start."
"'We', or do you mean, 'You'."
"Me. Wait... Look. It don't matter none. Let's get ya washed up first. Follow me."
You follow Applejack out of the shed, and within a stones throw, you arrive at her barn house. The only reason you knew that, is because she just told you, like right now. While you were still coping with this early hour. Just look, The sky is barely lighting up from the impending sunrise. It's pretty, sure. But, damn. You can barely hear any birds tweeting.
"So, here's the bathroom. Wash up, an' meet me at the front door."
"Mmhmm. Will do."
Time to get naked, and wet. Unfortunately you don't mean sex. Ugh... must stop mentioning things this early, especially in pony world. But would ya look at this tub? It's so tiny. "How tiny?" The spout barely reaches your waist. Well. Time to get your dick wet... Ugh. Stop it already. "*sigh* At least the hot water works..."
Heh. Applejack was right. You kind of are a crybaby. Gotta work on that. You're on trial status here. Anyways. After your thorough washing with shin-height water, you look for a towel, and... You forgot to ask Applejack about acquiring one. Hmmm. You see three towels on a rack. Maybe... uh, maybe you shouldn't use any of them. But, you can't put your clothes on while you're dripping wet. No puns, dammit!! You roll your internal three-sided die, and pick one towel. It's kinda small, but it'll get the job done.
"Hey, Applejack. I'm clean, an' stuff."
She jumps a little and looks back at you. "Huh? Oh. Good. Heh, I thought you were gonna take a longer bath than that."
"... Why would you think that."
"Well. Jus' look at ya! yer huge!"
Your mind is out of the gutter. However, you can't help but smirk at that comment. "You'll soon learn that I'm full of surprises. Very few positive ones though. Short bathing times? That's one."
"Well, I hope a good work ethic is one of 'em. Cus yer gonna need it. Fer starters, Mr. Full-of-Surprises. Yer gonna help me buck trees."
She leads you to the nearest apple tree, and bucks it with such force that all of the apples fall neatly into bushels that have been set under said tree. How does that even....? Ugh, Pony land! You could probably fly if you fuckin' tried hard enough!
"Your turn, pard'."
"Oh, goodie."
You approach the next tree, your nemesis. He taunts you, with his leafy ways. The apples hold shit eating grins. You can't have that. So, you muster all the early morning strength you have, and give it a powerful half-assed kick. You stand there for a couple of seconds, and then the pain hits you. You grab your foot, fall on your butt, and writhe in pain.
"Oh, Fuckin' shit butt! That hurt! Why?! Applejack, why did you talk me into doing that? ... Applejack?"
She's too busy rolling around, laughing like a damn hyena. "Ahehehehe! Hoo boy! I-I'm- Ahahahahaha! I'm sorry, Anon. I- Hahahaha!"
That kind of pisses you off. But, you replay the scene in your head. Wow. You must've looked like a dumbass. Heh. Yeah that was actually pretty funny. Earning a good chuckle from you.
Applejack's laughter finally subsides. "I'm sorry Anon. But, that was probably the funniest thing I've seen in a while."
"Eh. No worries, Applejack. I should have known that was gonna happen." You really should have. In your defense, the sun is barely peaking up over the horizon. So yes, it's still too early for your brain to be functioning properly.
"Well, let's see... Ya can't buck trees. Ooh! I got it! How 'bout ya just help me carry these bushels as I fill 'em up."
"That sounds safe. I mean... Good. It sounds good."
"Alright! Let's get started."
During your bushel carrying duty, you an Applejack have bouts of small talk. It's mainly based around you. Like, about your family, friends, and such. She was pretty interested in your grocery job. You can only imagine why... Though, as the day went on, she seemed to open up a bit more. If only for a couple of bits of info, but hey, Bright side? You're not dead!
It's getting on into the evening now, you're loading up the final bushel of apples, and you are feeling pretty good. Tired, but good. You were already pretty fit, as you have tight stringy muscles that helped with manual labor. Though, you feel like this kind of work will take you to another level of strength.
"Hey, Anon?"
"Yes, Applejack?"
"I need ta talk to ya 'bout somethin'."
Oh great. Are you getting fired? Or maybe, now that you are too tired to run, she's going to kill you. Well, you had a good run... No you didn't. Damn. "A-alright. What's up."
"Umm. About what happened with mah sister-"
"Look. I told you I'm sorry an-"
"No. I know you said yer sorry to -me-. Ya jus' need ta tell -her-. I didn't tell Apple Bloom anything about what had happened. I really wasn't sure how. But now that yer here, an' I got ta know ya a bit better. I know yer not a bad person. Ya just got a lick of bad luck is all."
"Heh. Story of my life right there. Anyways. I think I can see where this is going. I'd love to have the opportunity to apologize to her."
"Great! I'm gonna go an' get her. Go ahead an' wait in the house."
Finally you're gonna be able make amends for this huge misunderstanding. Maybe everything will turn out alright after all. If you're gonna be stuck in pony land, you're gonna have to play by the rules. Not that peeing on people was ever a problem for you, but how would the ponies know that. Time to better yourself by getting rid of your 'not-problems'.
As you step inside the house, you see Granny Smith, who greets you with a smile. And Big Macintosh, who just has that same look on his face... He's still really intimidating. Especially when they both know the real truth. Poor little Apple Bloom did not. But now, she will. Ah! Speak of the devil, Applejack and Apple Bloom walk in. You can see the her cowering behind Applejacks legs.
"Now, now, Apple Bloom. I told ya, he's here to apologize. Yer gonna be jus' fine."
"A-a-alright. if ya say so."
Apple Bloom walks up to you and sits on her haunches. Time to lay it all on the line. You wish you had a speech written up. Luckily though, the truth settled, and you told her that you were transported here by Twilight Sparkle, and that you were not evil, or a monster.
"So that means that water you poured on me wasn't evil?"
"... No. It wasn't but it was actuall-"
"So... Can ya do it again? 'cus, to be honest, it felt really good. It was all warm an stuff... An'... Why're y'all lookin' at me like that."
You, nor anyone else in the room can properly respond to that. Not at this very moment. All of you just shared glances that ranged from 'extremely confused', to straight up 'what the fuck?'. Looks like it's up to you to be the hero that the Apple family needs right now.
"Apple Bloom... That wasn't just 'water'. It was... How do I put this lightly... *sigh* Look. It was pee."
"Ya mean... you peed on me?"
"Yes. I did."
"... Oh."
"Look, I'm truly very sorry. I want you to know it will never happen again."
"I forgive ya... I jus' need ta... Um. I jus' need ta go to my room."
Apple Bloom slowly makes her way upstairs. She accepted your apology, but... You still can't get that weird thought out of your head. Applejack breaks the deafening silence. "Well, that settles that. Apology accepted. Everything's right as rain, am I right?"
Big Macintosh just nods, still visibly trying to make heads or tails with what he just heard.
Granny smith slowly gets off her rocking chair. "Well I think that's plenty of excitement fer one day. See y'all in the mornin'."
"G'night, Granny! Um. Hey, Anon? Can I see ya outside fer a bit?"
"Sure thing, Applejack." You follow her just outside the house.
"Look. I'm gonna be honest. I'm really glad that mah sister accepted yer apology."
"In a way that I'll never be forgetting. That's for damn sure."
"Heh! You said it. But, like I was tellin' ya. I'm glad all is well now. Just one day of workin' with ya, I could already tell that yer a good pony, er, uh..."
"Person."
"Right. an' I hope I get ta work with ya again. Yer a pretty good worker. Though, we still gotta find out what yer really good at."
"'We?' Or 'You'."
She jabs your side with her hoof "Oh, hardy har, Mr. full-of-surprises."
"Oh, I'm just teasing you, Miss Applejack."
"C'mon, Anon. No need fer formalities anymore. Call me AJ."
"Noted."
"Hey you two!" Twilight trots over to meet you. She's looking kinda tired. Maybe she was working on that rotation journal or whatever.
"Howdy, Twi."
"Hi, Applejack. I'm just here to pick up Anon."
"Well, it's nice of you to make me sound like a child or something."
"Heheh. Sorry. Not my intention. Anyways, let's get going, mister. We got a lot of things to do." Twilight Sparkle trots along the path back to... Ponyville? Yeah, that's what it was called.
"Well, Anon. This is where we part ways. Y'all come back now ya hear? That's not just a saying. I really mean it. Yer always welcome here."
"Thanks, AJ. I'll be back. I promise."
"I'm holdin' ya to that, partner."
"Heh. Well, Goodnight, AJ."
"Goodnight, Anon!"
You follow Twilight back to Ponyville, fully relieved that you made up with the Apple family. Because as you thought, Applejack... No. 'AJ', is a really cool pony. Completely chill, down to earth, and all that good stuff. Hopefully you will be able to work with her again. Now, however, it's time to wonder what kind of plans Twilight Sparkle has for you.
Your walk with Twilight was rather uneventful. So was the grand tour of her Tree House, which you'll properly respond to later, As she just led you to your temporary sleeping quarters. This, among other things, lead you to believe she is tired as hell. She actually looks as if she just might fall asleep while standing at the doorway to your room. Which wouldn't surprise and or amaze you, since you know... She's an equine? They can do that.
"Goodnight, Anonymous. I'll see you... *Yawn*. Bright and early in the morning."
Oh fuck! You know what that means: 'Dark-and-early-as-shit!'
"Uh. Yup. Goodnight, Twilight Sparkle."
You better get your ass to sleep. And while you're at it, try to not have any puppy dreams or sexy dreams. You're -still- on trial status, and can't afford to make yourself seem weirder than you actually are. As if it isn't already too late for that...
-----------------------------------
During the night, you've dreamed about nothingness. The very same that reminded you of your trip to this world. However. Seemingly out of nowhere, you dream about fuzziness. Not in a visual sense. No. You're just completely enveloped in a pure fuzzy feeling. It feels so nice. So you obviously do your best to further immerse yourself in the warm fluff. This goes on for the remainder of your dream.
Until...
"Um... Anon?"
You feel yourself being roused out of your sleep. You still don't wanna open your eyes yet. The sunlight is bright and, whoa! Hold on. Sunlight? You decide to open your peepers, which are in full blurry-mode. You rub them back to your near-sighted vision. Yup. You're currently facing the wall, which has a nice tiny window almost right in front of your face. Sure enough, It is morning. Now -this- is your preferred waking up time. Not when it's still technically night time. That shit don't fly with you.
"Anonymous? Can you get up now?"
"Just give me like... ten more minutes. Actually, make it an hour, for good measure." You just wave her off and go back to hugging your fuzzy pillow.
Wait a sec... You didn't have a fuzzy pillow when you went to bed. You look down and see that you're spooning Twilight Sparkle. Okay, this got awkward pretty fast. You immediately let her go, she then jumps off the bed, and does an adorable little stretch. Now you start feeling a bit cold. Maybe you should have kept spooning with her. Just for a bit longer.
"Oh shit! I'm sorry! I, uh. wait. How did you end up in my bed."
She gives a sheepish smile. "Well, you see... During the night, I had realized that this is a perfect opportunity to study your sleep cycle."
"So... You were watching me sleep?"
"Yes."
"Hm. I see. But, answer me this, dear Twilight Sparkle."
"Just 'Twilight' is fine."
"Okay, -Twilight-. How did we end up in that... -Particular- position."
Behold, as we observe Twilight's enhanced form of sheepish smiles.
"Aheheh. Well I can explain. You see, while I was monitoring you, I thought I had noticed your eyes were moving frantically, and due to the low ambient light from the moon, I moved in closer and confirmed that you were indeed engaged in REM sleep." She shifts around a bit. "That's when your arms reached out, grabbed me, and pulled me in. Then you just cuddled with me."
Weird. You didn't figure yourself an aggressive cuddler. You'll have to keep this in mind should you ever find yourself sleeping with a stallion. Not that you ever would. You'll stick to sleeping with mares. ...Wait. What are you saying!? Look. Just stop over-thinking things, you dumbass.
"I guess that explains it. But why did you stay with me throughout the night. I mean, I've seen you use your magic to teleport from place to place. Couldn't you just get yourself out of my grasp?"
"Th-That isn't important, mister! Look. I'm gonna make us some breakfast so we can get the day started."
Sheesh. It's like she's never spooned before. But then you've never spooned with a pony either, so you suppose this was new territory for you as well. Still. Way to go. Applejack saw you dreaming like a puppy, and now you cuddled with Twilight? You are on fire, Sir! What else can go wrong? Stay tuned.
-----------------
You ate a nice simple breakfast of some eggs and toast. Then Twilight pulled out some kind of notepad and told you that it was time for some kind of questionnaire. Yay...
"First off: Clothes. Why do you wear them all of the time."
"Because then I'd be naked."
"... I'm naked. Applejack's naked. Anon. We're all naked."
The way she says it is so casual, like they're part of some kind of nudist colony... Which makes sense when you actually think about it. That also means that -You- slept with a naked pony. You sick motherfucker.
"Yeah, but you all have fur to protect yourself from the elements. I don't have anything like that. Hence the clothing. Plus, I generally don't like being naked. All of the time anyways..."
American society has molded you into a bit of a sissy, with its 'safety bubble' mentality, courtesy of the FCC and other over-sensitive bastards. It's something you've always hated. But, oh well, cry me a river and such. At least now, in 'Pony World', you can change yourself for the better, or in your unfortunate case: 'The Weirder'.
"Fair enough," She jots some stuff into her notepad, "But after this, you'll have to strip down, so I can get a better look at your anatomy."
"Hahah! What? You wanna see my naughty bits or somethin'? Cochina~."
"Let's try to stay serious, Anon. This is purely for scientific purposes. For instance, I don't believe I've ever seen legs bend that way before. I'd really like to get a chance to study them."
You just look down to your legs, which are crossed in your sitting position. Thinking about equines and how their legs bend, she's got a point. Though, You still think she probably just wants to see your dick.
"I guess I'll just have to make due with your currently exposed features."
"Wow that sounded kinda dirty."
"Anon!"
"Sorry, Twilight."
You really should have kept that to yourself. But it's so fun messing with her. You can't help yourself.
"Next I need to determine what race of human that you are," Race? -Wow- You can only imagine where she could be going with this... "First question: Can you fly?"
"Uh... No. I cannot." Okay, now you honestly have no idea where she's going with this.
"Can you do magic?"
"Hey, Twilight. What is that behind your ear."
"What do you mea-"
You reach behind Twilight's ear and 'magically' pull out a coin. "Um... Ta-da!"
"Huh. That was actually pretty neat, Anon."
"Sadly, that's all I can do, though."
"Then I'll put that down as a 'No'."
What a bitch! It took you forever to learn that goddamn trick!
"And, as for the last question of strength, Applejack has already told me that you were pretty strong. So, I'm gonna put you down as an Earth Human."
You can't even fully comprehend this... How did she know the name of the planet you were from. Is that even possible? Nobody knew exactly the name of your place of origin. Well, the only way to find out is to break out of your stupor and ask her.
"Twilight? How did you know the planet I was from was called Earth?"
"Uh. I didn't... That's just the name of the race of ponies that can't fly or use magic. They've always been called 'Earth Ponies'."
"Whoa... That's kind of a... I can't even think of a proper word for it."
"A frightening coincidence?"
"Yeah. Let's go with that."
"I'll definitely have to tell the princess about this new finding. However, we really must move on; I've been meaning to ask about your claws. They're small, thin and rounded off. They don't seem like they'd be good in a defensive sense or even an offensive-"
Before you could say anything, her eyes go wide as saucers. Not the flying kind, mind you. Because that would be completely silly. But hey, you're in 'Pony World'! Where maybe anything could be possible... Probably.
"Your dietary needs! Oh, How could I be so stupid!? I completely forgot to bring that up when I made breakfast. That would've been -the- perfect time!"
"The eggs and toast were just fine, Twilight. Just calm down-"
"But what if they weren't?! What if I had given you something that you couldn't properly digest, or something poisonous! What if I had killed you, or caused you unbearable misery?!"
"Twilight. I don't know a lot of things about your world, or anything really. But I do know one thing. Eggs and toast are always welcome in my stomach. Well, that's two things technically... Look. Either or. They have those in my world. And they are safe for me."
"So, You're not mad at me?"
"I literally gave you no indication that I was ever upset with you."
"Oh. *Whew* Sorry. I thought for a second that I had completely screwed everything up."
Aye! This mare! She has perfected the art of giving you 'Intelligent headaches'. She's also just as naive as you had thought. You can't really blame her, though. I mean, how would -you- act if you got the chance to meet a peaceful sentient alien being. Yeah. That's what I thought. Shut up.
"Twilight, let's continue. No offense to you, or your hospitality. I just want to get this over with."
"Okay. *ahem* I'll put you down as a herbivore."
"I never said I was an herbivore."
"But you said the eggs and toast-"
"-Were just fine. But what I didn't tell you is that I am actually an omnivore."
"Y-you... E-eat..... Meat?"
"I have the ability to do so. Yes. But-"
She looks like she's about to wet herself. Clearly the smart thing to do is to calmly tell her that you don't eat ponies. However... As you've already stated, you are a dumbass. Time to have a little bit of fun with this mare. No, not -that- kind, you sick bastard.
"-I forgot to mention that toast fuels my hunger for ponies!! RRRAAAARRRGHH."
Twilight screams and tries to either teleport away, or blast you into oblivion. You tackle her before she can do either one. Then you bare your teeth as your mouth approaches her neck.
"D-don't kill me! Please! I'm sorry about the food! I- Tee-hee! I- HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
All you do is gently tickle her belly with your 'ineffective claws', causing a torrent of giggles and full on belly laugh. Then you let her go, and resume your sitting position with an innocent look on your face. After a while, she finally calms down
"Hahaha! I- Whoo! Goodness! Heheh. *ahem* Anon... What the heck was that about!?"
"I don't know what you could possibly mean."
You earned yourself a deadpan stare. Courtesy of the ticklish purple pony.
"Alright. Sorry. I was just messing around. I don't eat ponies, nor will I ever find your kind as a food source. I'd rather eat my own legs first. But hey, at least we found out my 'claws' are good for something."
"Yes... Noted. Also, I don't like being tickled-"
"Really? Hmmm... Could've fooled me."
"Well, don't you even think about doing that again!"
"I can't make any promises. Sorry."
"Just... Look! Do you want me to force you to undress right now?"
"Wow, Twilight. Was that a threat? Or an invitation." you say with a wink of your eye.
"Wah? I-I... Ugh! You are so impossible!!" She storms out of the room.
Clearly you have bested the intelligent one. Props to you and such. Now all you gotta do is walk on out of here and see a certain orange pony. A promise is a prom-
"Where do you think -you're- going?"
"*sigh* Nowhere now, I guess... Umm. Time for more science stuff?"
"You bet your sweet butt that's what's going on!"
"Did you just sa-"
"If you make a comment about what I just said, I'm gonna require a brain tissue sample from you."
"Shutting up."
"Good. Now... Let's get started with part two: Experimentation."
"Sounds... Painful."
"Oh, don't be a crybaby," Seriously? Her too? Sheesh. "Here, place this apparatus on your cranium."
"Do you really have to use such overly-scientific terms?"
She just points to the lab coat she has on, and the goggles sitting on top of her head. You might die from all of this cuteness.
"Point taken."
She floats some kind of a... Strainer bowl helmet thing. Kinda like the one that Egon used on Louis in Ghostbusters. As long as you keep that mentality, maybe this won't be so bad.
-----------------------------
You were wrong. This is bad. So very bad. You are currently strapped to a cold metal table. Yes, you did have to get naked. luckily it was strictly observation only. This time anyways... It still felt quite invasive. Plus, you got electrocuted. Twice! In sensitive places. And by that, you mean your cock and balls. This never happened in Ghostbusters! Nor did it happen in the sequel! The only silver lining? You probably won't have to worry about shaving for a while, or possibly at all anymore.
"Well, Anon. It looks like we're about done here."
"Thank goodness! For a second there, I didn't think I was coming out of this alive."
"Again, I am sorry about that little mishap. That dial slipped from my hooves. Anyways, I was expecting to find some kind of abnormality on your muscular structure, and responses. However, based on my findings, it isn't that different from ours. In fact, it is very similar to most of the species on this planet. It's really interesting."
"Why, were you expecting something like a Xenomorph?"
"... A what?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it, purple one." You'll have to remember to -heavily- cut back on the references.
"Anyways. I'm gonna need to get x-rays of your skeletal structure-"
"Hey, I thought you said we're done."
"Today we are. But there's still so much I could learn from you, and about you."
"Heh! You know~-"
"Brain tissue sample~." She says in a sing-song tone of voice
"*sigh* Right. Shutting up... Again."
"Good! You're learning. Slowly, but surely."
"So... You gonna let me go, so I can get dressed?"
"Oh yeah. Heheh. Sorry," She uses her magic to release your bindings, and helps you to your feet. "There you go. Ummm... Uh oh."
"Uh oh? Why 'uh oh'." You're finishing getting your boxers and pants on. So, you're not looking at whatever she's concerned with.
"The electric discharges from my machine-"
"Singed my pubic hair? I know. I was there. I saw, and felt it, as it happened."
"Well... That's not all it hit."
You check your arms and head, but nothing seems burnt. What could she...?
"Aw man. No way"
She sits on her haunches, and uses her magic to show you that your Pepsi shirt had been fried. Looks like your naughty bits didn't end up taking most of those damn bolts. The only thing you can make out anymore is the remnants of the classic Pepsi globe.
"I'm really sorry Anon. I didn't mean for that to happen." She looks like she's gonna cry.
"Look, Twilight. It's okay. Don't worry about it. It's just a shirt." Even though it -was- your favorite.
"B-but. Y-you said you didn't like to be unclothed-"
"So, my torso will be exposed. No big deal. Now, if my pants and or boxers were destroyed, then we'd be singing a different tune."
"But this," She points to the Pepsi logo, "is the symbol of your civilization. Your people. Your culture.... And I destroyed it."
Symbol of your civilization, eh? You'll have to run with this. But not right now. Twilight is very distraught. Words obviously won't work, so you do the only thing that comes to mind. Which is to give her a big hug. As you move in for the 'kill' she flinches a bit, but then returns it in full.
*Squee*
"... Hey, Twilight? Did you just hear something?"
"N-no. Did you?"
"I thought I heard a squeak."
"I, uh. I didn't h-hear anything."
"Hm. Guess it must've been my imagination."
"Probably. Wait! I got an idea! We could go over to Rarity's boutique. Then maybe she could make you a new shirt!"
There is a god! And her name is Rarity!
"Let's get a move on then."
"Follow me, Anon!" She says with a big smile.
Twilight leads you to Rarity's place, in hopes of having your shirt replicated. That shirt was really comfy and slim fitting. So obviously this seems like the greatest plan ever. Though, you've never had clothes tailored for you. This could get interesting. Hopefully in a good way... For once.
So, unfortunately, Rarity couldn't work on your shirt. Her door was locked, her windows, boarded up. Twilight said it was something about a 'cycle', or whatever. She didn't really go into detail. Not like it even matters. You're still shirtless. That's why you didn't really care. This was the one and only thing you were looking forward to, so you are just currently sitting on a park bench with Twilight, moping the day away.
"Do you maybe want to wear a cape? I have one you could use. It might even be big enough to cover your torso."
You look at her like she just farted.
"Is that a 'no'?"
"Yes."
"Okay! I'll go get it-"
"No! Twilight. When you asked if my answer was 'no'. By saying yes, I meant 'no'."
Uh... What? Let's start over on that.
"*sigh* Look, Twilight. I do -NOT- want to wear a cape."
"Are you sure? It's a really nice cape."
"Yes! Oh god, yes. I am sure."
"Oh. Well... Hey! Since the rest of your day is free. We should do something fun. How about we get that X-ray done. Doesn't that sound fun, Anon?"
Ordinarily you'd say no. But, there's a big chance that this'll be completely painless, due to the fact that you just have to get pictures taken. And also Twilight won't be directly involved. Just go for it. Ya sissy!
"You know what? Yes. I literally have nothing else to do today. Er, uh. Not that I don't enjoy your company."
"Yay! Thank you, Anon!"
She jumps up and gives you a hug. And you hug her right back, because she's so comfy, and huggable.
*Squee*
"There it was again!"
"W-what do you mean, Anon?"
"That freaking squeak! I just heard it again. You seriously didn't hear it?"
"N-no... of course not. A-all I heard was the sound of some birds that were chirping."
You let her go, and you both start making your way to the hospital.
"Maybe there -is- something wrong with me..."
"Oh, I doubt that. It's probably just your imagination."
"-OR- maybe that squeak is the first thing you hear before you go completely insane."
"Don't be silly, Anon. Though, you probably shouldn't mention that to any of the doctors while we're there."
"Are you sur-"
"YES!"
You recoil a bit from her sudden outburst.
"Aheheh. Sorry about that. I'm sure it's probably nothing you should concern yourself with. It may even go away in time."
"Yeah. I hope so."
As you reach the hospital, you notice how it looks like a typical hospital should, and not like a silly pony version. You guess that, in any dimension, medicine is always a no-nonsense type of business. Which is a shame. You were half expecting a barn or... Anything really. Just not this.
After Twilight chats with the hospital staff, and shows them your 'royal scroll of getting free stuff', they lead you to the X-ray room, and even opt to have a mold of your skeleton made. Why? Reimbursement! So you begin the whole 'revealing' photo-shoot. Which took some time to finish. Mostly because that table you had to lay on was too damn small. Afterwards, the doc leads you back to Twilight, who is waiting in the, uh, waiting room... Yeah, that was completely redundant.
"Ooh! You're back! How did it go."
"It actually went pretty smooth. I still have all of my hair, and I'm pretty sure I still have all of my swimmers, as well."
"... Swimmers?"
"My sperm."
She just smiles and rolls her eyes, then begins visibly thinking about something. Shit. You probably shouldn't have mentioned that. She might require a sample of semen now. Quick! Change the subject!
"You know I was wondering..."
"Huh?"
Seems like you broke Twilight out of her reverie. Good. Keep going!
"How did you, uh, get everything, you know, set up all quick... Like you did."
Good job, numbnuts!
"Simple. I had sent my findings to Princess Celestia, and she told me to also send them over to the local hospital. Just in case anything should happen to you."
Apparently, even Princess Celestia knows that you are a dumbass. This world never ceases to amaze you.
"Makes sense. Ya know, It's kinda funny. In my world. Hospital service is painstakingly slow. Even when it's not busy, you basically have to be dying in order to get instant help."
"Oh, It's nothing like that here. Though, I can't remember the last time our hospital was ever really busy. Wait. There was this one time when Applejack poisoned pretty much the entire town."
You give Twilight your semi-perfected 'what the fuck?' face, with a side order of fries. Whatever the hell that means.
"She didn't do it on purpose! She was just really exhausted!"
Taking your unchanged expression as a hint to go on, she tells you about AJ's past predicament. Her brother was injured for the 'Applebuck season', so she took on the job all by herself. Her social life inevitably suffered. Actually, as she went on, it was safe to say her body also suffered greatly. She easily could've killed herself. All-in-all, it was the dangers of extreme stubbornness that almost caused her downfall, both figurative or literal could apply. The poisoning came from a huge miscommunication of ingredients for cupcakes. Yeesh.
"I'll have to ask her about that the next time I see her."
"That would probably be rather haphazard, Anon."
"Why."
"Well-"
Before Twilight can go on, one of the doctors enters the room. Your skeleton mold in-tow. Though it's covered in cloth. Now that you have a closer look at the approaching doctor, you see he's really shaky, and looks rather pale. Which doesn't make sense because his fur shouldn't be the one changing color. Oh yeah, freakin' Pony World strikes again!
"H-here is your mold of Anonymous' skeleton, Twilight."
"Thank you, doctor. That was rather quick."
"Y-yes well, as it was technically order from Princess Celestia, we made it our t-top priority... You should just take this t-thing and go."
"O-okay..."
The doctor quickly exits the waiting room, leaving you and Twilight to exchange confused glances at one another. You both shrug it off and head on out of the hospital. Luckily the skeleton was help up on a rolling platform, you didn't really feel like carrying yourself around town. That would be weird.
Although, it looks like it mattered not. Once you reached the town, you got a lot of weird looks from the denizens. There's no pleasing anyone around here. Finally you reach Twilight's house. She instructs you to place the skeleton in the middle of her living room, which required a small push forward. Small pony houses are just too damn cute, and shit like that.
"Okay, Twilight. Now that the 'walk of judgment' is over. Let's take a look at this bony lonesome."
"Anon, wait! Reveal it slowly. I want to savor this moment.
You really want to make a comment about that. But you don't want to give her a brain tissue sample. Hey! You really are learning! It's a dumb thing to learn, but, it's still knowledge! You slowly remove the cloth that's draped over the mold, starting from the phalanges.
Your progress is currently stopped at your ribcage.
"Wow! Just look at your skeletal structure, so far! It's so amazing!"
"I'm really amazed at the detail. It looks worn and weathered, and not all bleached up. It actually looks kind of realistic."
You completely remove the remaining cloth, revealing the entirety of your skeleton. You notice Twilight has a complete look of fear on her face.
"Uh... Twilight? Are you alright?"
She is completely fixated on the skull. Before you can try to calm her down, the hinges that hold the jaw shut, begin to slowly open. The hinges creak, and squeal, as the jaw opens up at a slow pace. Making this moment a lot more frightening then it really needed to be.
Then, as if this couldn't get any worse, the neck gives way, so it appears as if the eyeless sockets are staring directly at Twilight. She lets out a gasp, as her pupils instantly shrink. Oh god. This won't end well...
"Twi-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
She makes a break upstairs. You try to catch up to her, but it's no use. She has the fear.
"Twilight, wait! Come back!"
"No! You can't make me!"
Once she makes her way up, she slams the door, then proceeds to lock you out. You don't even need to press your ear to the door. You can clearly hear her hyperventilating.
"C'mon, Twilight. It's not even real. It's like you've never seen a human skull befo- Oh, wait... Uh. *ahem* Nevermind that. Just come on out. Pretty please? With a cherry on top?"
You're met with silence. And by that, you mean she's mumbling something incoherent to herself.
"... Alright well. If you need me, I'll be at Applejack's place."
It sounds like she's rapidly pacing around the room. Yeah. You should go. After all, you're probably just a giant talking skull to her right now.
----------------------------------------------
As you walk to Applejack's farm, you can't help but feel bad for Twilight. In your defense, you really did try to calm her down. Maybe she just needs some time to herself, Then she'll be right as rain. Then you realize the skeleton is still in her house. More specifically, near the front door... Oh, she'll probably be just fine. Maybe. Hopefully.
You finally reach the entrance to, 'Sweet Apple Acres'. Huh, So -that's- what it's called. It doesn't take you long to spot Applejack, who is bucking some trees. Lucky you. The entire property looks ridiculously huge. Before you can make you way over to her, you see a tiny yellow filly right in front of you.
"Um... Hi, Apple Bloom."
She just stares at you, not in a terrified expression, nope. Just a simple stare. Though it looks like she wants to say something.
"I'm uh, here to see your sister. And, yup, she's right over there... So, that's where I'm going. Over there. To where she currently is."
She continues staring.
"... Well, it was great chatting with you. I'm glad we could bury the hatchet. See you around, little one."
As you make you way past her, she keeps her gaze on you, like a tiny hawk, wearing a pink bow. You think you heard her say 'bye'? But, maybe that was you just hoping for some kind of response. Either way, AJ notices you and waves you over.
"Well, well, well. If it ain't Mr. Full-of-surprises, himself!"
"What's up, AJ."
"Howdy, Anon! Hey. What happened to yer shirt. Did ya leave it at Twilight's place?"
"Yup. She fried it. Before you ask. Yes. That means it's destroyed."
"Aw. I'm sorry, Anon. I'm sure Rarity could-"
"Tried. She was busy. Something about a 'cycle'? I don't really know."
"Huh? Oh! Yup. She'll prolly be busy fer a while then."
"Damn. I'm stuck without a shirt until she's done doing whatever."
"Oh, darn. An' stuff."
"Since I'm here, do you need any help?"
"Sure. You can help me carry these bushels to the apple cellar, if'n ya don't mind."
"I was the one who asked, silly. Let's get this shit done."
"Heh. I'm likin' that attitude, Anon."
You agree to help her out. Because, records have shown that helping others is usually always helpful. The 'chore' goes much faster with the both of you working like it was your only function. You suppose she also likes to get lost in her work as well. Fancy that.
Last bushel in, she locks up the cellar, And you both chill on a nearby fence. She sits on top, and you just lean forward on it. Making you two match eye level.
"Ya know, I'm glad ya kept yer promise."
"I wasn't gonna leave you hangin'."
"To be honest. I was actually afraid that Twilight's experiments woulda scared ya off or somethin'."
"Hah! Nah. Actually, it was quite the opposite."
"What? How did ya manage that."
"Easy. All I needed was this."
You point to your face.
"So... You made some kind of a scary face, or somethin'?"
"Wha? No! What? I scared her with my skull."
"I don't follow."
You tell her about the whole skeletal mold, and how you revealed it to Twilight.
"So, to say, 'the defecation hit the oscillation', would be an understatement. She really freaked right the fuck out. She was actually doing a pretty good job of at least trying to keep her cool, but as soon as the neck gave way, causing the skull to stare at her? Oh goodness! There was no getting through to her."
"Heheheh! Really? Little miss 'scientific' was afraid of fake bones? Heh. That's downright silly."
"Yup. Silly. Kinda like you."
"Silly? Me? Nah. Don't think so. Nope. Not me."
"Hey. You're the one who thought I scared Twilight with a 'scary face'."
"It was jus' a question."
"Yeah. A silly question." You boop her nose to bring emphasis to your point.
She contorts her face into, what you can only describe to be a, 'scrunchie' face.
"... H-how did you do that?!"
"Do what?"
"That... That... Scrunchie face! I've never seen anything like that!"
"Oh... that. Did I really do that? Heh. It's jus' a thing we do I 'spose. It ain't nothin', Anon."
"It. Was. Cute!"
"Cute?" She scrunchifies her face again.
"See?! It's so damn adorable!"
"So. First, I'm silly, And -now- I'm cute? Heh. Can't quite make up yer mind, Anon?"
"Nope. You're both. Silly and cute. Forever. And always."
"*Pfft* Whatever ya say," Applejack looks to the sunset, but obviously not directly at it, "Ya know, It's about that time. We're all gonna have dinner in a bit. Would ya like ta join us?"
"Yeah! If you wouldn't mind. But, are you sure that would be okay? I mean, I ran into Apple Bloom before I saw you, and she just... Stared at me. No talking or anything. Despite her forgiving me, I don't think she's quite over that 'incident' yet."
"I'm not rightly sure. Though, even if she ain't. The best way to truly patch things up, is to show her that ya ain' a bad pony... er, uh. Person? Did I get that right?"
"Yes you did. And you also made an excellent point. I promise to be on my best-ish behavior."
"Good. I can't have ya peein' on mah kin at the dinner table. Or at all. heheh!"
"Too true. I'll just save it for you, my dear."
"Good." Just wait for it to register and... "... Hey!"
"Hah! Relax. I was just kidding."
She just smiles and shakes her head. Then she leads you to her house.
"Seriously though, AJ. This whole, 'peeing on stuff' thing, was never a problem for me."
"Yeah. -whatever- you say, Anon."
"No. Really. It was a one-time deal."
"-Oh-, I believe ya."
"Funny. Your tone is telling me otherwise."
"Is it now? Hmmm."
"You- but- I- Seriously! It was never a problem!"
"Heheheh! Oh. I was only kiddin' around, Anon. -Yer- so cute when yer huffy."
She swishes her tail right into your face, then she slowly makes her way into the house. Leaving you completely stunned. She's sharp, you better keep an eye on that one.
Right as you take a couple of steps toward the house, you notice that you have a raging boner at the moment. That's strange. You don't remember thinking of anything 'stimulating' while you were talking to Applejack. Your attention was solely on her. Weird. Anyways, better walk it off before you get inside. Can't let your dick be the first one in the house. You know, manners, an' shit.
"Fucking dick, c'mon! Down, boy. Down!"
No go. Fuck! You'd think being stuck in 'Pony World' would mean that this very thing wouldn't be a problem anymore. Perhaps, Twilight is wrong. Maybe that squeak -is- something you should get checked. Ah, no time for that. You've been out here for a bit too long. Better adjust your pants. And... There ya go.
"Much better."
Shit! You look towards the front door, and see that Apple Bloom is sitting in front of it, just staring at you in that same way. Dammit. How much of that did she see. No matter. You calmly pass by her, as if nothing happened.
She follows you into the house, probably holding her gaze on you as you make your way into the dining room. You decide to glance back. yup. Apple Bloom is still looking at you. Though, she has a bit of a curious expression going on now. You can already tell this dinner is gonna get painfully awkward...