> Finding the Rainbow > by Joyous Apple > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Who am I? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pain. That is what I feel. I try to open my eyes, but when I do, I have something covering my face. Then I hear yelling. The noise hurts my head. “Get the morphine, get the morphine! She’s coming to. The patient is waking up. Quick. Give me that! Put it in her leg!” The voice moved what was covering my face, and I felt a poke in my leg.The pain went away. I looked up before blacking out, and what I noticed, was that I couldn’t move my head. It was stuck in place. The room was bright. All I could see was a light. There was pressure in my head. I then felt dizzy. I felt like i was falling, and then the world became fuzzy and distant. Then it disappeared. When I woke up again, I was in a room. I looked to my left and saw a weird machine. It’s my heart rate. How did I know that? I don’t remember anything. Why was I here? Does anypony know I’m here? Wait, do I know anypony? Wait, Who am I? I start to sit up, but the pain in my head comes back. “Ughhh” I whimper. The pain is horrible. A voice began to talk, I didn't realize I wasn’t alone. “Easy now. Just take it slowly. You just got out of critical condition. Here, take this,” The voice says, handing me a cup and two pills. I look up and notice it’s a stallion. A doctor. I tell myself. “This will make the pain go away.” I didn’t hesitate in swallowing the pills. They were the big kind though, and they tasted nasty. The doctor got up and looked to me and then smiled. He then began to walk to the door to the room and exited. Seconds later, it opened and five Mares entered. One was a orange earth pony with a cowboy hat and a blonde mane. She was followed by a yellow pegasus with a pink mane who just walked in, and looked at the ground timidly. Then a White unicorn with a purple mane. Then a purple pegasus, er uh, unicorn, I mean alicorn came in and smiled to me. After she entered, a flash of pink zoomed in and stopped just inches from my face. I recoil out of shock. Who is this pink pony? Who are these ponies? Who am I? “Hey, Dashie. Feeling better? Maybewhenyougetouticanthrowa’rainbowdashisbetterparty’!!” Shouts the pink one in my face. I don’t know why, but I whimper and stick my head under the covers. I feel a strange fear. I hope they don’t see how much I’m shaking. I hear a voice calm, but stern like a parent talk. “Now Pinkie, ya’ know RD here just got out of bad condition. She needs quiet. Not an overactive pony causin’ a ton a fracus and what not.” “Sorry” I hear another voice, calm, but seemed to sound funny, it had a ‘Proper’ accent about it. “Now Rainbow, darling, it’s okay. So how are you feeling?” She questions. Who is Rainbow? Who is Dashie? Am I the one they’re talking too? I can’t think straight. My voice is gone. I can’t talk. Could I ever talk? I hear them murmur around me. but I don’t do a thing. I hope that it all ends, that I disapear from here. Thats when I feel something touch my side from outside my makeshift barrier. I jumped and yelped, but didn’t peek out. A voice followed after that was soothing, and level. Like a mother. “Rainbow, you okay?” I don’t answer. Can’t find my voice. Stuck. I’m stuck, I can’t move. Then I feel something grab my barrier, and move down under my face. The alicorn from earlier. She looked at me in concern. I just looked straight ahead. I could see her face out of the corner of my eyes. “Rainbow?” I don’t do anything. I am stuck. I finally find my voice, and quietly whisper, not so much to her, but to myself, “Who is Rainbow?” She heard, and stiffened. I don’t know how I know, I just do. She just sighs and laughs to herself. She doesn’t know I’m clueless about who this Rainbow is. She then tells me something I don’t quite understand. “She is our friend. We love her. We couldn’t live without her.” I look at her. My face showing nothing but seriousness. And the second I make eye contact with her, she backs away confused. I ask again, so she can hear. “No, who is rainbow?” Her face contorts to that of real confusion. Then her eyes widen and she backs away. She looks from me to her friends. She then starts talking. “Hey, guys. Can you guys step out real quick?” The pink one was about to say something, when a the orange one just grabbed her tail slightly then started walking out. The pink one just sighs, “Oh, okay.” The white one looked at me in concern for a second, before she decides not to question me further, then trots out of the room. When they were done leaving, the alicorn just looked at the door. She got up and looked back to the door, with a face full of worry. She then left the room without a word to me. Why would she worry about me? She kept calling me Rainbow. Hopefully the craziness is over. I just now start to feel tired and my head hurts a little from what just happened. I decided to lay my head down on the pillow and try to sleep. I really am tired. I yawn and somehow, find myself sleeping. I wake up in what felt like seconds, because the door opens and the doctor from earlier enters. He looks to me. His face wearing a warm, welcoming smile. He pulls up a chair from a table beside the bed and sits down. I just look at him. He looks back to me. We sit here for a few seconds, then he pulls out a pen and a clipboard from nowhere. He looks to me and starts to clear his throat. He then begins to question me. The questioning lasted about ten minutes. All the questions I knew the answers too were that of how I felt. I didn’t understand what the questions were for. At the end the doctor just shook his head and sighed. He left the room. I heard voices outside the door when he closed it. Out of curiousity, I tried to get up. It took a second. My legs were wobbly. I had to learns how to walk. I finally was able to walk to the door, careful not to make too much noise to arouse any suspicion. I put a ear near the door. I dared not touch it, as if the act would get me caught. What I heard from out there confused me further. “Well, from what I could gather, she has complete amnesia.” Said the doctor. “What?!” Said multiple voices. they sounded like the ones from earlier. “I’m afraid so.” He replies. Then what sounded like the orange one, began to speak. “Well, why don’t you use that memory spell, like during the discord accident, Twi?” “I’m afraid that won’t work. You guys had your memories, just lost yourselfs.” Said the alicorn. She must be ‘Twi’. I’m not following what they’re saying. I just shake my head and walk away. I find a bathroom in my room and enter it. I look into the mirror and study myself. I have magenta eyes. Thats what I notice first. My eyes. I then begin to explore the rest of my face. I have a cyan coat color. How did I know what colors those are? Cyan? Magenta? I continue on, not thinking anymore on this, I just trusted it. I look down my back. I have wings, so I guess I’m a pegasus. Anyways, I look to my mane, I would say what color it was, but it was multiple. It had the colors of the rainbow. Rainbow. Why did that stick out? Then it hit me. It was that name the alicorn called me. Wait. Then that means. I’m Rainbow. But I’ve never met them before. I can’t be her. What is going on? My head hurts now. I look down, and see my hooves on the ground. The ground seems to be miles away. I get a weird feeling in my gut. Then I get scared, Because I begin to fall. I’m falling, the trip takes forever, and I can’t stop my heart from pounding. I’m afraid it’ll leap out of my chest. I begin to scream. Low at first, then louder. I hear the door open behind me. I feel a hoof grab me. it pulls me back to reality. I look back to see the doctor try to help me stand back up. I was on the ground. When did I get here? I don’t stand up. Afraid of being away from the ground. I don’t ever want to fall again. The ponies from earlier are standing outside the bathroom door. The pink one looks at me in worry. “Rainbow Dash, are you okay?” The question hit me hard. I am Rainbow, aren’t I? But. But. I Feel dizzy. I look at them one more time. Their faces fading away. They continued to fade, until they were replaced by black.   > What is going on? > --------------------------------------------------------------------------   I don’t know how long I was out, but when I come to, the room is dark. I couldn’t help but notice the pain in my head had lessened. I notice why I must have woken up, when get the sudden urge to find the bathroom. As I’m about to jump out of the bed, I stop. I look to my left and see that the bed was only three and a half feet off the ground, but I felt as if at that height, you could fall a certain way and get hurt really bad. That can kill. I look down, and get a weird feeling in my gut. I feel the height overtake me. I would have gone back to sleep right then and there, if it hadn’t been for the urge to pee. I slowly make my way to throw my back legs over, and slowly, I ease myself to the floor. It only took a second to notice that I was still alive. Then I release a breath that I didn’t know I held.     I looked up to the bed I was just on and sighed to myself. It was only three in a half feet off the ground, and I just treated it as if it were a million feet high. Then I remember what I got up for and run for the bathroom. When I was done, I walked back to the bed and got back on, not really afraid of the height anymore, but still cautious of what a bad angled fall could do.   I couldn’t get back to sleep. Not after what happened earlier. Now that I could think more clearly, I assumed that my name is Rainbow Dash, Because the doctor didn’t say otherwise. I had to make sure the next time I saw him. Ask him who I really am.   I lay there for awhile thinking about other things, like ‘How did I get here,’ and ‘Where do I go from here.’   From what I can remember about places like these, it’s that they only keep you here until you are fixed up, and then send you home, but where is my home? Do I have a home?   Through my constant pondering, I had somehow fallen asleep, because the next thing I know, I’m being woken up by a bright light in my face. I slowly open one eye to investigate the sudden intrusion of light. I had noticed the doctor first. then I notice the window. I hadn’t seen it the night before because it was dark and closed. But now I see it, a giant tower with a clock in it. Looking at it, I felt a sudden cold fear grip me. I barely stammer my question to the doctor, but manage to get it out.   “H--h-how h-high a-are we?”   He looks at me confused, then just shakes his head and answers calmly.    “The third floor, about 50 feet high, why?” He asks, from what I heard in his voice, wonder in this type of question. But by the way his eyes got wide in understanding told me he could see the fear I had. I must have been white, and I clearly was shaking. All sound was gone to me. All I can do is look out the window into the pretty scene, that hid death on it’s doorstep. I didn’t even hear the doctor yelling my name in front of me. Or what I guess my name was since he was calling me it.   I look over to him. And slowly, his voice starts to come through.  “....Dash. Miss Dash. You’re okay. Don’t worry about the height, okay? You will be on the ground floor soon. Don’t worry, you are about to be discharged and will be able to go home”. I look at him stupidly. Home? I don’t have one, do I? i ask myself this before the doctor answers the questions in my head.   “Don’t worry Miss Dash. Because of your condition, there will be somepony that has known you for quite some time with you until you get your memories back.” He said the last part as if he didn’t believe it himself. I just shake my head slowly. He let’s me get up on my own and helps guide me from the room. I felt grateful somepony was there to help me. I don't think I was able to move at all by myself.   I listen to his instructions and allow him, with much persuading, to get me into the elevator. But I soon regret it, because the second the doors closed, I felt a drop, and I felt my stomach in my mouth. Quickly glancing around to see if I was really falling, I noticed that it was the room that was falling. I closed my eyes, tried to tell myself I wasn’t there, that I was in the room with the machines, still asleep, not in this nightmare.   Eventually the falling stopped, I heard a faint noise. opening my eyes and releasing a breath I didn't know I held, I realized I was in the fetal position in the corner of the room. I felt a wetness around my eyes, and I reached a hoof up to wipe away whatever it was. When I pulled my hoof down, I noticed they were tears, that I was crying.  When did I get into the corner and start to cry? I don’t remember this. That is when I realised that the noise from earlier was the doctor saying my name and was rubbing my back.   “Miss Dash. Miss Dash, are you okay?”   I just looked up to him blankly. I just shake my head and allow him to help me up and I follow him once more.   We make it to a room that had many chairs and ponies walking around in it. I then noticed a counter with a few ponies wearing something similar to what the doctor was wearing. They were all wearing white coats. The ones who weren’t, probably were the ones here for help. some looked sick or injured. That’s when I began to wonder why I was here. Befor I could ask the doctor, I saw the alicorn from before.   She simply looked at me for a second, and smiled. Then she walked over to us and greeted the doctor first.   “Hello Doctor Gauze. She all clear to go?”   Who is she. I could only guess it was me, and I guessed correct, because the doctor patted me on the back and offered a smile.   “As long as you know that you are to have at least one of the names, given to you earlier, keeping an eye on her. But yes, she is okay to go. Her job has been told of her medical related absence. so no worry on bills and all of that. You can be on your way. The bill’s will be sent in a couple of days. We give a grace period before we charge for certain cases such as this one.”   I immediately looked up at the doctor in complete and utter confusion. My job? I had a job? Then I just realized that I was leaving this place, with this person I don’t know. Not like I knew the doctor, but my brain said to trust him. I had no knowledge for this mare in front of me, other than knowing she was a princess. This because, I remember that only alicorns were royalty, and just that. Nothing else.   When he walked off, I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. look to the mare in front of me to see if I could trust her. I didn’t like being alone, it just felt weird. She just smiled and motioned me forward with a hoof. I slowly, but eventually, made it to her. I kept my head low, and my ears back. I felt like I was in trouble or gunna be yelled at. I don’t think I would like that.   She just started to trot off when I finally made it to her, I kept pace, not wanting to be left alone. I Shadowed her to the outside of the hospital and followed her for a bit. We happened to pass the tower I had seen through my window. I looked up at it and shuddered. I couldn’t imagine going to the height of its peak. The fear of being that high and falling just made me sick.   We were in a town, I don’t know why it took until I noticed the tower for me to realize this, but it did. That’s when I noticed all the ponies around me. What if they thought I was weird? I begin to think about ways not to be attention grabbing. and through my self consciousness, I didn’t hear the alicorn ask me something. I just shake my head and in a barely audible tone ask her to repeat herself.    “C-could you possibly, s-say that again.”   She stopped for a second and looked at me. Her eyebrows raised in interest. She then asks me to repeat myself. I find myself asking the same question again, this time my voice retreated even further down my throat as I finished the sentence, barely audible just like last time. But she happened to hear, and sighed.    “I said that, do you want to go to your home, or come to the library?”   I was confused. Apparently I had a home. feeling curious about figuring anything out about my past, I decided to go there.   “C-can we go t-to my home, i-if it’s okay with you?”   She gave me the same look as earlier again, and sighed. She then began to walk out of the town as I shadowed her, daring not be left behind.   We eventually made it to a clearing and stopped. She turned to me and smiled, she pointed up and my eyes followed her hoof. I followed it up and all I could see was a big cloud. I looked back at her in confusion. What was it that she wanted me to see? She then just smiled and spread her wings and with a quick thrust of them, launched into the air and over the side of the cloud.   I couldn’t believe it. She just left me here by myself in the middle of nowhere. I actually felt hurt. I felt discarded. I simply turned around, my head hung as low as possible, a tear forming in my eye. As I was about to walk off, somepony yelled.   “Hey! What’s taking so long, I thought you were following me.”   I turned around fast, and with a yelp, I noticed there was nopony there. But I just heard a voice. Was I hearing things?   “Up here, silly filly.”   I looked up and saw the mare who deserted me leaning over the cloud. She beckoned me up. I simply stood there in disbelief. She wanted me to go up there? To go up there. Of the safe ground. I started to shake in the thought of being so far off the ground. Why should I go up there? There is no reason why, was there? No wait, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t. There was no way I would. How could I have done it. Then to answer my suspicions, she called down again.   “What? I thought you wanted to come to your home. Well here it is. What did you forget to fly? Or are your wings hurt too? They aren’t bandaged like your head.” said the mare with a slight chuckle, indicating it was a joke, but it still felt insulting.   My head? I reached a hoof up to my head. It was true, because I felt a fabric around the top of my head. How come I didn’t notice this? Then I remember that I did see it on me in the mirror, I was just preoccupied by my other features. Then I feel a hoof on my back that frightens the hay out of me. I jump and yelp at this.   It was her again. I look at her and she could probably see the terror in my eyes or something because she changed the tone in her voice.   “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to frighten you. I am so sorry. It’s just that I saw you were looking lost and all. Your house is up there on the cloud. If you can’t fly, I could levitate you up if you wa-,”   “NO!” I shout almost instantly when hearing about her possibly taking me to that dangerous height. What if she loses her grip or something and I fall to my death? I look back at her and I see the shock in her face. I immediately apologize, hiding my face by looking away into the other direction, so she didn’t have to see me.   “I’m sorry. i-i-it’s just that i d-don’t l-like heights.”   The second I finished the sentence, and looked at her, she blinked and her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak several times, but no sound came out. It looked like a goldfish opening its mouth. I just looked at her, feeling as if I did something wrong, then all of a sudden, she reached out and pulled me in for a hug. Although I didn’t think I was supposed to hear it, I heard her nonetheless.   “Oh Rainbow, we’ll fix you somehow.”   It was under her breath and all, but I still heard it. I felt hurt. What was wrong with me that needed fixing? Before I could ask her anything, she began to speak up to me and i just swallowed what i was gunna ask.   “Come on, we’ll go to the library. that way you could be comfortable.” She said this with a fake smile, I could tell, but I didn’t let her know. Her tone was also very solemn. By the time we had gotten to the library,it had started to get dark. I started to look at the shadows and started to think about the dangers that could hide in them. then I started to think of things that could happen in the dark. The second Twilight opened the door, I bolted in, trying to hide from the dangers of night.   Twilight just sighed and walked up to a podium with a book on it. She used her magic to pick up a quill and scribble something down into the book and walked back to me. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, then decided on asking how I got to the hospital in the first place. It took me a second to muster up the strength to ask, but I finally did.   “Hey, umm, miss. I-I was wondering how I-I got t-to the hospital.”   She turned to me and cocked her head to the side, then she made a face that said ‘ooh’ in understanding.     “Well, my name is Twilight. We are good friends, being the bearers of an Element of Harmony,” Element of what? “ You see,  you were in the air just practicing like normal, when out of nowhere we heard a strange noise. you stopped mid practice and immediately bolted into the Everfree. We tried to follow, but by the time we caught up, we saw you out cold with a lot of injuries and a filly shaking your body trying to get your attention, to get you to wake up. She was crying, and said something about you fighting off some sort of monster or creature and that it ran off, but not without throwing you into a tree, knocking you out entirely. We got you to the hospital immediately and you know what happened from there.”   I thought about how this story may explain a little bit of what happened, I couldn’t help but still feel lost. I also felt like I was blamed for this in the way she said it too. Although she didn’t say it, I could feel it. It was my fault, and it will be my fault forever. Even though I don’t even know what I did. I just simply replied.   “Oh.” My head hurt. apparently I rescued somepony. But how could I of have done that? I can’t now, how could I ever? I then yawned and rubbed my eyes. Twilight immediately started to walk off to a pair of stairs. She motioned me forward, but I stopped at the stairs. What if I fell down them and got really hurt? Twilight looked back and saw me. She sighed in a annoyed manner and levitated a mattress with a pillow and blanket down and put them near the stairs. What did I do to this mare to disappoint her? I was just listening to her and followed her all day, but I couldn’t help but feel her annoyance of my condition. Like it was my fault I forgot everything. I layed down and it went dark. I pulled the blanket over my head to hide from the creatures of the dark. I don’t know when, but I silently started to feel tears form and flow as I silently sobbed. I was lost and not physically, but emotionally and mentally so. I don’t know anything and others were annoyed because of this. I was a burden to somepony because of my condition. I continued to cry for no particular reason, other than for being afraid and lost. I eventually fell asleep to my own tears. > A walk. > --------------------------------------------------------------------------   Falling. I was falling. I don’t know what I did, but now I was falling to my death. I see the ground right below. I try everything in my power to stop myself; to somehow postpone or even stop the fall. I kick my legs and scream. I even try to fly. But, I keep falling. I don’t know how, but scarily, I could tell how far away the ground was. Kind of like instinct. I knew it was only a hundred yards away now. seventy five, fifty, ten.   I sat up with a jerk, crying and screaming in the air. I was screaming as loud as my lungs would allow me. I felt a hoof on my back and a faint voice as I sit there. I couldn’t make out what it was saying. After a second, I open my eyes and start to check myself. I could see that the fall was only a dream, that I did not hit the ground and was completely fine. But I could not stop shaking, the tears still flowing. I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t help but remember what it felt like to fall. But how did I know what falling felt like?   The dream felt so real. I was still crying, not only from the falling to my death, but for some other reason. This reason I couldn’t place, It felt awful. For some reason, I was crying and it somehow seemed more like the main reason for my tears. I look to my left to see Twilight looking into my face with worry. I instantly pull the blanket over my face and try to hide behind it, trying to shut off the outside world. I didn’t want her to see me like this. I don’t know why, but I began to feel sick to my stomach while crying in front of her. ‘Why do I feel this way?’   As I pull the blanket back over my head, I hear a sigh of relief from my left. I am still shaking from the sobs, and I try my best to hide them, but soon I can’t contain them anymore. I cry, I cry about all the confusion. About why I don’t remember anything, why I disappoint Twilight and I even cry about crying. I cry because of my fears and because of falling.   As I sat there sobbing, I felt something grab me. It was warm and soft. I don’t know why, but I  felt a little sickened, I felt as if hugs were horrible, but that went away fast. I wanted it to stay. I wanted to grab and hug it back. So when I do, the blanket falls off and I see it’s Twilight. I didn't care anymore if someone saw me crying, not even her. And yet, the feeling that something was wrong was still there as I pulled her into another hug.I lose track of time and all else as I cry into her. I felt safe and sound. I felt at home. ‘Home? What is home?’   After a few minutes, I had begun to calm down. My tears had become nothing but sniffles now, but I still held on, afraid to let go, afraid to have to give up this warmth. I heard a sigh, and I knew I had to let go. When I did, I looked at her. She had a face of defeat and loss, I looked down, knowing it is my fault, because I messed up.   “Feeling better now?” she asks after a second. I didn’t want to tell her to hug me again. I didn’t want to worry her either. I didn’t want to worry anypony. ‘Why am I being so worried for others?”   “Y-yes.” She smiles and gets up. She heads off to another room in the library. As she leaves my sight, I begin to take in the entire layout of the library. Looking around, I stop my sniffles. After a few seconds of just looking around in a seated position, I get up. When I stood up, I felt like I needed to stretch and do some exercise. Wondering why, I continued off to the door. I stopped when I got to it and looked back. Looking around, I felt a little weird. This feeling, I couldn’t figure it out. “It just feels wrong.”         I feel as if I should just go and stay away from Twilight for a while. I did something and I should remove the problem, me. So, I looked back at the door and opened it. I was instantly blinded by the light, having to blink a few times and squint just to see. It took a few seconds to be able to open my eyes all the way, but when I did, I saw that the streets were full of ponies. Fillies were running around and smiling, colts were bugging their moms, and friends were all running around and smiling. I started to smile sometime during my observations, it was sort of infectious. I took a few steps forward and the door closed behind me, bringing me back to why I was leaving. I looked back at the door and went back to frowning. I didn’t deserve to be happy.   With a sigh, I started to walk off. I didn’t know where I was going, it was just away, and that was all that mattered. If I disappoint one of my old and best friends, then I was a failure and shouldn’t stay. I don’t remember anything, but that shouldn’t matter. It is still my fault because I lost my memory and am no longer the same. I don’t feel different, but I can’t say for sure, because for that I would have to know what I was like before. It’s confusing. Whatever it is, it is my entire fault. I had somehow made it to the center of the city. All around me, ponies were going about their business and keeping to themselves. It was loud, with ponies going up to the many booths that sat in what looked like a market, and buying up the goods that the pony happened to have at their booth.    I sat on a little hill that was a little distance from the market. Everypony was going about their business, and I stayed out of their way. I started looking at the food stands and my mouth began to water. When was the last time I ate? I couldn’t remember. My stomach growled, yelling at me for not eating, the gurgles even hurt a little this time.            After wincing from the stomach gurgles, I stood up and started to walk away. I didn’t have any money on me, so I couldn’t buy something and I was definitely not going to bug Twilight. The only place I could get something to eat or have money to get something was at my house. The one Twilight had shown me. That couldn’t have been my house. It was in the sky I would fall just trying to get to my front door if that were my home.   I was reminded of my dream and I shivered. The fact that I can’t even imagine having a home like that now, kind of shows that it probably wasn’t my house. Or, was I just not the same mare I used to be?   My stomach growled again and brought me back to reality. I was now in front of some sort of dessert shop. I looked at the sign that was hanging from the very pink building. It had a cupcake on it.   A bell ringed and I looked through the door as a young stallion left the building. Inside, I saw a line of ponies waiting for, what I assumed from the sign was most likely cupcakes. As the door closed and the buck walked past me, I got a scent of the sweets inside. My mouth was just watering from the smell. My stomach began to gargle again, I had to sit down and grab it until the gargles passed, the whole time clenching my eyes shut.   After the gargles had passed, I looked back up at the store. I looked around and hoped nopony saw me like that a few seconds ago. Unfortunately, somepony did. He was to my left. I don’t know how loud my stomach complained, but I think that he heard it.     He was a silver Pegasus with a blue mane that was cut short but a bit rugged and messy. He had the same color tail as his mane. He had pink eyes, which is strange for a stallion, or at least I’d yet to see a stallion with that color of eyes.   He smiled at me, and I looked down at the ground. Now I was being laughed at for being pathetic. I heard him enter the shop a few seconds later. I am pathetic, and now ponies were laughing at me.   With a sigh, I got up and walked across the street and sat under the shade of a tree, still looking down.   Maybe. Maybe if I tried to remember my past, I could fix this whole thing. It was my fault, and I need to. The only thing that I need is my memory. The doctor said that the only way that can help me now was time, but maybe he was wrong.  Okay, I know that was a pathetic thought. But, maybe the time needed to remember could be shortened if I tried to look for memories. I remembered a few things in the hospital because they looked familiar. Maybe if I walked around and looked for things that were familiar, then I could start to remember faster.   A bag dropped in front of me and I jumped. I started to look for who put it there and dropped it. Not too far in front of me was the pink eyed stallion from earlier. I looked at him cautiously, wondering why he put the bag there. Had he dropped it and then flown down to retrieve it? Maybe he was waiting for me to move or hoof it to him. I looked down at the bag in front of me. It was a small brown paper bag. The top was rolled shut so he could carry it. I looked back. He pointed to the bag. I nodded and picked it up and started to walk to give him his bag. He put a hoof up and smiled. He shook his head with a smile.         “It’s for you.” He said in a chuckle.   Confused, I look at him after putting the bag on the ground. He pointed to the bag again. “It’s for you.”   I opened up the bag slowly. I was instantly assaulted by the smells of the cupcake shop. Inside was a pink cupcake with a few sprinkles. The smell was so much sweeter this close. It also smelled of cherries. I looked at the stallion again. “Go ahead, have it,” He pulled out a bag from behind him. “I have one of my own.” He smiled and opened up his bag and started to eat his.   I slowly took the cupcake out of the bag. I took a small bite of it. There is no way to describe the flavor. It was amazing. The smell of this cupcake was nowhere near as good as the taste. The cupcake was moist and fluffy, full of flavor. The frosting was perfectly whipped and wasn’t too thick. It was a perfect cupcake. In that one bite, I was completely taken over by the flavor. It was one of the kind, and yet something about it was also vaguely familiar.   I savored the flavor of the cupcake as I ate it, wishing I had more when I finished it. I walked over to the stallion. “Thank you.”   “No problem. It looked like you wanted one, and I couldn’t stand the look of a sad mare, especially a beautiful one such as yourself.” He smiled.   Did he just compliment me and call me beautiful? He said I looked sad? Oh no. Now I feel bad about him having to go out of his way to make me happy. I’m an awful pony.   “Your mane is beautiful.” He continued.   “You didn’t have to, you know?” I had to tell him that he was fine, that he did not need to do anything.   “What?” He confused for a second, then understanding sunk in. “Oh, that. Of course I did.”   “Why?”   “Like I said, you looked like you wanted one.” He smiled happily and it was somehow contagious, because I started to smile a little bit.   “Wow, you look even prettier with a smile on.”   Dear Celestia, was I blushing, I am pretty sure I was blushing?He chuckled. I was blushing, and probably harder now too. He cleared his throat.   “Hey. Uh…I was wondering…If maybe…you would like to, I dunno, go get something to eat later?” I was speechless. Did he just ask to go on a date? I would be shocked at remembering something else, like what a date was and being asked on one, but the fact that I was asked on one was the real shock. I was staring into his face in silence for a few seconds as I tried to process what was going on.   “Um…I..” What do I say?   He groaned and facehoofed. “You have a coltfriend, don’t you? Ugh, yeah I’m a fool. Of course somepony like you would already be in a relationship.”   Did I have a coltfriend? Was I in a relationship? I don’t have any memory. I hardly knew this stallion in front of me now, besides that he was nice. I could tell just from his personality, he even gave me a cupcake. No, I’m sure I was not in a relationship. They would have met me in the hospital, wouldn’t they? Yeah, they would. I would also have been staying at their house and not Twilight’s.   As I was thinking, he got up. “Sorry about that. Don’t worry about the cupcake, I was happy to cheer you up, maybe we could be friends?”   I made up my mind. I had to pay him back, and I was almost certain that I was never in a relationship before. And on another side note, I was remembering a lot of things on how stuff goes on, but nothing about me or those around me.   “Hold on! I’m sorry, I was just shocked. O-of course I would go out to eat with you.” I said, sheepishly smiling.   He faltered for a second, then got his train of thought together. “Really?! O-okay. Um, tonight? Wherever you would like, I’m new to town. Um, around seven?”   I started to giggle as I saw him blushing and try to figure out what to do. I only nodded. “Where would I meet you?”   He looked around and pointed to the tree I was under not so long ago. “H-how about there? At seven?” I smiled and nodded.   “Sounds nice.”   He smiled and flew off in the air. After he got a distance away from me, he did a little loop in the air. I giggle to myself and noticed how his form appeared off. If he would have tucked his wings in on the downward swoop, he would have been moving way faster. I cringed at the thought though. What if he screwed up and fell and got hurt? I just met him too. That would be awful. Flying is definitely not for me, especially with those risks.   I looked to the clock tower that was still visible from anywhere. It read that the time right now was two in the afternoon. Five hours, I had five hours. I had to clean up. Afterall, I was pretty sure that I was a mess, so I should clean up somewhere. I think I saw a spa around here somewhere. Maybe I could pay them back, like, use an ‘I owe you’. It probably wouldn’t work, but it could be worth a shot. ‘An “I owe you”? Things come to me, but not my memory about me. > Conversation complication. > --------------------------------------------------------------------------         If only my memory could somehow come back to me about ponies I know and the places they went to a lot. I was just getting to the Spa. It took me some time to find out where it was again. I had to ask for directions twice, and these ponies would just look at me like I was crazy. They then asked me if I was pranking them again, or they would just ignore me. Others would ask a million questions I had no answers to. This one unicorn mare with a mint green coat and similar mane with a white streak and some sort of harp on her flank asked me how things were at home. I just smiled and nodded my head saying things were fine. I quickly said I had to go to the spa and she happily decided to guide me there. We walked quietly for about three minutes before she started up conversation with me again. She looked over at me and had a questioning look on her face.                   “So why are you, of all ponies, going to Aloe and Lotus’s?” I just looked at her blankly for a second.         “Aloe and Lotus’s? Me of all ponies? What do you mean?” She blinked and looked away with a blush. A blush? She looked back at me and then all over as if she were following some invisible bug.         “Well...I mean...you see….J...Just nevermind….” She looked down and started to walk faster. Okay? Well, I could answer one question.         “I’m going to the spa because I need to clean up for a date.” She froze and flipped around. Her eyes were wide. Why is she?         “You have a date?!” The way she screamed it, I think everypony knew now.         “Yes…?” She then covered her mouth, looked around and then blushed, looking right back at me. What is up with this mare?         “Sorry…” She muttered, before putting her ears back and dropping her head. She continued walking forward. I continued following her. Why did she go from all cheery to all sad?         “...It’s okay? Are you okay?” I was kinda worried for her.         “Huh?” She looked up surprised, looked at me and nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really. Just, my stomach hurts a little.”         “Oh. Sorry to hear that. Maybe you should go rest or something?”         “Yeah. I do feel a little dizzy and stuff,” She circled around to look at me. “Just keep going straight and you will be there in no time.” She smiled before she started to walk off.         “Thank you so much for the help. Hope you feel better soon.” And like that, the weird unicorn mare, whose name I never got, was gone. She was very helpful, although a little weird, I really hope she feels better. I have to pay her back somehow. Maybe when I remember things again. I continued the way she told me to go until I eventually came across the spa. The sign, which was made of wood and hanging from the roof, simply had a bar of soap on it. I entered the door as a bell chimed my arrival. Looking around, it was fairly quiet. There were a few chairs in an area I assume was the waiting area.Directly in front of me was a desk that was about half as tall as I was, the wood looked fairly worn from use as well. Behind the desk sat a blue mare with a somewhat red mane. Before I could speak, she called out to me. “Why, miss Dash! A pleasure to meet you!”She then knit her brow in confusion, coming from behind the desk, all the while looking around me and at me. “What is the occasion…? I don’t see the others, and miss Rarity comes on tuesday’s and wednesday’s…” I blinked. Others? Rarity. I just shook my head and looked at her with what I could hope was a calm smile. “I uh...need to get cleaned up….” “I can see that…” She stood there, just looking at me before she shook her head twice, “Anyway! Right this way Miss. Dash.” She turned around and started towards a door near the waiting area. “Uh...alright…” I started to follow. I guess you didn’t have to pay for everything around here… < = > “That is what she said! She would rather go there than go to Horseshoes. If you ask me, she would have been better off at Cider’s or Berry’s. But no, go to Horseshoes.” Bon Bon took a breath after her short little rant and took a sip of her tea. “Really? I wonder why she would do that…” Replied Carrot Top as she looked to the side, trying to find a reason behind going to one place really mattered. “Anyway, you gunna eat that?” Bon Bon pointed a hoof to Carrot Top’s plate which was still holding a half eating cherry pie. Carrot Top simply waved a hoof at her. “Go ahead.” Bon Bon just nodded and pulled the plate to herself. “Anyway…” She took a bit of the pie and continued to talk, mouth full of food, “It’s like saith...Ith weirth.” She swallowed her mouthful loudly. Bon Bon continued to talk about her story as Carrot Top zoned out, absentmindedly sipping her water. The only reason Carrot Top really listened to Bon Bon’s rants was because of the free meal. Throw a few ‘Really?’s and a sentence after that, and you were golden. All she got from that conversation was the whole destination thing. She didn’t even know ‘WHO’ was going anywhere. Carrot Top continued to suck on her straw until she heard the tell tale sign of an empty glass. Her ears automatically folded back. She looked up and saw that Bon Bon was nowhere near done with her story. Luckily, to Carrot Top’s good fortune, somepony decided to take this time to help her out. “Bon Bon!” The cream colored mare blinked as she looked away from Carrot Top and toward Lyra. “You are the gossip type, right? What is the deal with Rainbow Dash?” Bon Bon cocked her head to the side, swallowing the last bit of pie in her mouth. “Whattya mean?” She scratched the back of her head as she began to think about the multicolored mare. “Let’s see...Element...great flier….likes to read adventure books….All I got. Why yah ask?” Bon Bon looked back at Carrot. “I was just telling CT here about the one time Cherry Seed went to Horseshoes because of that-” “Ew! No! Don’t say that out loud! Gosh...I remember that still. How did we get home?” Bon Bon simply shrugged as she started to snack on some hay fries. Carrot Top blinked. “Wait...what….What was gross? What happened?” The farmer asked, genuinely lost now. Bon Bon looked at her confused. “whatya mean? I just spent an hour describing the whole thing to you?” She narrowed her eyes at Carrot. “Oooooh! Heheheh...That! I thought you meant something else,” She said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. “How she should have went to Cider’s….or...uh...Berry’s..?” Bon Bon looked just straight confused now. “Riiiight….anyway...Lyra. Now that CT is done being weird, take a seat. Hungry? I know I am.” The mint green mare sat down and sighed. “You are always hungry…” Lyra muttered. “Am not! CT, defend me here!.” “You did just eat my pie…” The farmer replied. “AGHH!” She just sat back in defeat, rubbing the sides of her head, “Anyway...Why did you ask about RD?”          > Thoughts > --------------------------------------------------------------------------         “Quit your shoving!”         “You’re stepping on my hoof!”         “Shut up!” Bon Bon rubbed her temples as she tried to keep the other two under control. She tried to remember WHY she hung out with them. She just remembers being with Lyra ever since she was little. She sighed and shook her head. “Alright… Now, listen closely. We can’t be seen or hear out here. So please, in the name of Celestia, STOP MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!” She said in whispered shout through grit teeth, staring the two down.         “Alright…” Lyra said with a submissive sigh, backing up a little. Carrot top, on the other hoof, simply rolled her eyes.         “Whatever.”         Bon Bon looked through the window, trying to get a better look at what she was seeing. Inside was Rainbow Dash. Bon Bon was now believing the newspapers… Because what she saw was indeed Rainbow Dash enjoying a Hooficure.         “Well,” Bon Bon cleared her throat. “At least we have some new dirt on RD now.” She smirked, taking in the scene in front of her. “Maybe a certain fashionista would like to know this.” With a chuckle, Bon Bon started down the road to a particular building.     ***         “That will come out to thirty-two bits, darling. The fabrics you need have to be special ordered. But luckily enough for you, I know where to get them on discount.” The fashionista walked around her latest customer, using her magic to float around her tools, notebook and sketchbook. The mare she was working for at the moment was a short maned earth pony. She had an orange mane with a pearl colored coat. Rarity had a brilliant idea for her, sketching it out as she talked. “And I will have it done before the time you needed, my dear.” She smiled happily and floated her tools off to her desk and wrote down a few other notes, happily guiding the customer out. “Take care!”         Rarity was about to close the door when a certain alicorn came busting through her front door. “Rarity! I need to talk to you!” Rarity barely had time to respond and turn around before being tackled down to the ground, Twilight right in her face. “It’s important! Meet me in an hour!” With a flash of her horn and a small pop, she teleported away from the very shocked and confused fashionista on the ground. ***                  Applejack was happily bucking away at the trees on her farm, making great progress in harvesting her days goal. She only needed ten more bushels full of apples, and she would be done for the day. She looked over what she had already done, wiping her brow with a forearm.         “Whew-eeee! If ah didn’t know any better, I’d say I’m getting faster at my job.” She looked back over to the tree she was currently working on and pulled back to buck, just as a giant blur of pink invaded her vision, accompanied by a giant yell. “Jackie!!” AJ fell back and screamed, eyes wide. Upon hearing the giggles of a very ADHD pink pony, she rolled her eyes and berated herself for being so scared. “Pinkie, you know ah don’t like it when you do that! Don near gave me a heart-attack.” She picked her stetson up from the ground and fixed her mane, putting her hat back on. “Sorry, AJ.” AJ picked up the bushel of apples and carried it over to her wagon, Pinkie happily bouncing along behind her. “Yeah, yeah. Whatya want, Pink?” She put on the harness of the wagon and started to pull it along the farms trail, taking it back to the barn. Pinkie kept bouncing along with her. “Twilight wanted me to tell you that she wants to meet all of us at the Treehouse.” Applejack pursed her lips in thought, pulling the wagon. “Wonder what she needs us for.” “I think it involves Dashie.” She said in a sing song voice. “Wouldn’t surprise me. Ysh know how Twilight and Dash were.” “Exactly! I wonder what Twily wants to talk to us about though. What about Dashie, that is. You know, it could be many things, and I think that it could involve the fact she doesn’t remember her or the fact that Dashie was talking to Silver and everything.” Applejack blinked, trying to listen to the barrage of words, only really catching the last part. “She doesn’t remember, and she is talking to Silver again? That isn’t good, judging by the way Twi’s reactin, I really don’t know what to say,” AJ finally reached the barn, taking the harness off and nodding to Big Mac. “Well, ah guess we should head to the Library now, huh?” ***         I really didn’t know what to think after being lead into the back. It was all a blur in the end. The spa sisters, whose names I learned were Lotus and Aloe, dropped me into a sauna. From the sauna, they took me into a mud bath, putting cucumbers on my eyes and then rubbing something on my face as well. I’m not going to lie, but the mud bath was extremely comfortable. I kinda fell asleep, but once they woke me, they dragged me into a quick bath. Once I was done with that, they sat me down and began working on my hooves and hair, even touching up my face. I wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly what they did, or even give much detail about it. I was busy thinking of the latest events.         First thing I know I had was pain, then I found out I had amnesia. I then have people mad at me, then people wanting to talk to me. Now here I am, at a spa getting cleaned up for a date. I don’t even know why I should be doing this, but I don’t know why I shouldn’t. I get a feeling he is fine, but then I get another feeling it’s wrong. Twilight comes to mind, but I don’t know why. Is it fear? Am I afraid I will make her upset, or am I afraid because she was already upset and that’s all I am thinking about now?         Whichever one it was, I didn’t care. I found myself going along with it anyway. I looked to the ground, noticing something red fall. On the ground there was some clippings of multicolored hair. I noticed it was my hair as I focused back into reality. Aloe was working on my mane as Lotus was plucking away at my face.         “What are you doing now?” I finally asked, which caused Lotus to flinch. She blinked and chuckled.         “Sorry about that, just scared me. Ve are now stylizing your mane and cleaning up your face. Vhen ve are done, you will love it.”         “Okay.” I looked down at the mane strands on the ground. I didn’t know what I was feeling about that, but it was mixed. Looking at the colors of the mane clippings was weird, yet cool at the same time.         I must have gotten lost in the mane clippings, because they had to wave a hoof in front of my face to get my attention. I looked up and they both stood there, smiling happily at me. “Ve never knew your hair was natural. Ve thought you dyed it that way.” Lotus said. Aloe looked at me with a smile that was slightly bigger than Lotus’s. “But, we found a way to work with your hair colors, and I think you will like it. It really looks good.” She took out a hoof mirror and put it in front of me to look in. > That was weird > --------------------------------------------------------------------------         Rarity picked up her saddle bags and put them on, still wondering why Twilight had an outburst like that. She’s seen Twilight freak out before, but never to the extent of outright tackling somepony to get their attention, then to flash off like that. Rarity was going to have a talk with Twilight later on manners, because that is not what you do to get somepony’s attention. She looked around her room for anything else she would need. When nothing came to mind, she made her way down the stairs.         “Rarity!” Her sister was hollering her name from the kitchen, which of course caused her to suck on her bottom lip. Sweetie Belle and kitchens were never a good combination, but put her in one alone and you were bound for a messy disaster only a trained professional could clean.         “Yesss… dear?” Rarity was rather reluctant to see what kind of concoction her sister has produced. Heading down the hall to the door, she could hear two other voices. Upon this realization, her brain started sending up flares. The Crusaders were crusading in her home, in the kitchen.         “Can you come try this! We made and we think you will love it!”         “I wouldn’t eat it…”         “Ah said hush!” This was soon followed but what sounded like a thud.         “Ow!” Rarity began to sweat. She had no time for this. This was the very last thing she needed right now.         “Can it wait, dears? I really need to get going. Twilight needs me and,” Her sister jumped immediately in front of her, along with the others. They were holding one of Rarity’s more expansive dish platters, the lid that was covering what their creation was leaking blog fog. The smell was anything but pleasant. This caused her eyes to water, she however kept hold of a smile. “Smells… delicious, but I really need to get going. I know. Why don’t you go ask Bon Bon. She loves it when you guys play.” ‘Mainly to laugh at you guys hurt yourselves.’         The girls sighed in defeat. “But they were busy sitting outside the spa. They kept looking in the windows.” The other two nodded their heads in agreement. Rarity furrowed her brow.         “Why would they be doing that?” They all shrugged, Scootaloo speaking up at this point.         “They said they were watching the rainbow be very fruity, but I didn’t get it. Rainbows are outside, not inside.”         Rarity blinked a few times, trying to understand what she had just heard. Either they were peeping, or her friend was at the spa. The former was more likely in this case though. She rolled her eyes, heading to the door. “Alright, girls. Enough kitchen time. Why don’t you dears head out and be outside for a bit?” She stepped out the door and held it open, the girls walking out soon after.         “Okayyy…” They all said in unison. Rarity smiled and started her way to the Library. Scootaloo hummed to herself.         “You know, speaking about rainbows. How did Rainbow dash get her mane like that?” Sweetie Belle began jumping up and down.         “Ooh! Ooh! I know! My sister said some ponies Dye their mane!” The other two blinked at her.         “Dyed?” They both asked.         “Yup!” They all smiled at each other, soon shouting into the air their trademark slogan, dashing off towards the spa. ***         I was happy with my results, that much was certain. I was feeling pretty good. I felt clean, a clean that I have never felt in ages. How would I know, though, seeing how I couldn’t remember much of anything at all. Regardless of what was going to happen, I was pretty glad I looked and felt the way I did. I couldn’t help but notice people staring at me though. I pushed it to the back of my mind, continuing on my way to the tree where I met the stallion from earlier.         Upon seeing a bench nearby the tree I was at earlier, I sat down in it, being careful enough to make sure it was clean before doing so. Once I was sure it was clean, I sat down. After a calming relaxed sigh, relaxation came upon me. Looking around, the setting sun added to the atmosphere of the town. Ponies went about their business, a few stared at me, but I ignored them. Why would it matter when you felt this good? If they stared in awe or disgust, I didn’t care.         The sounds of life were rather soothing. The market was rather active. This was where I found myself observing at the end of my looking around. Ponies traded, some for bits, others for other items they needed. A few gryphons had a stand that sold what looked like iron goods. Some zebra’s had a stand full of brews and crafts. This stand seemed to be the least occupied by customers, which I found weird. The stand looked extremely exotic and would definitely be a place most ponies would want to go to, but in the end, their stand was the least visited. Shaking my head, I decided to go up the stand.         Navigating the market was easier said than done. Ponies dashed back and forth from stand to stand. It was weird, but the second you got into the actual market, the noise become overbearing. Stand owners shouted out prices, or what they were selling. Ponies argued back, trying to barter for a better price. I was bumped into many times, nearly being knocked over on others. Getting to the stand was a feat, but I finally made it.         Once I was close, there were many things I notice. Their tent had lots of smoke in it, but you couldn’t see it leave their tent. The aroma’s were all different, sweet berry’s, all the way down to a rather skunky smell. My head was spinning and I began to feel a little light headed from the proximity of the smoke. I heard laughter as a stallion laughed from behind the counter. I looked up and saw him, a zebra with his mane done in dreadlocks, a short beard and mustache. His eyes were dark brown, but had a wisdom in them. He had a pipe in his mouth, cracking a smile as he looked at me.         “Hello there. Not often do we see a pegasus come to our stand. Mostly get earth ponies for our herbs.” A coughing could be heard as a mare I hadn’t seen flailed a bit in a thick cloud of smoke. The stallion laughed at her, looking over. “But sometimes, we can’t sell our herbs because we run short.” The mare was a zebra with dark brown eyes. Both the mare and the stallion wore a coat made of leather, which made me a little weezy, but I pushed that to the back of my head.         “I wonder why…” He chuckled some more and took a drag from his pipe, looking me up and down.         “So what brings you by to our rather humble stand?” I blinked a few times to water my eyes, since they stung from the smoke. I began looking at the crafts and other things they had. My eyes noticed a rather blue plant that struck me as familiar.         “Nothing really. It just looked interesting and… well… I just wanted to see what you had.” He nodded at me, letting me look. I stared at the blue plant, wondering why it struck me as familiar. I’m guessing he notice me staring at it, since he picked it up. I took note as he was careful not to touch the actual plant itself and just the pot.         “This here is poison joke. It is good for a joke. A plant that not many know how to control, but we do.” He took out a knife and cut a leaf off, which fell into a bowl that the mare caught it in. She pulled out what looked like a small stick made of rock, and began to grind the leaf. The stallion looked at me. “We found out, that if you drink it in a tea after drying it out, right before bed, your dream will become clear. What you do to yourself in that dream, happens to you.” He smiles, looking over at the mare. “It only lasts for seventy two hours, but with constant use of it, the form will stay. Keep in mind, you need only dream the effect once. As long as the Poison is in you, the form will stay.”         “So, this is a shape shifter?” I asked, curious. He nodded, then shrugged.         “In a way. It can only do so much with what you want. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.” He leaned in close to me. “But I do know one thing. My sister Xyla, used to be my brother.” He leans back and hit his pipe another time and began to work on another leaf, letting me soak in what he just said. I blinked and thought on it. That was beyond weird being told. Why would he tell me that? Next thing I know, I had a small bag dropped in front of me full of blue gunk. “Let that dry for a day, then try it for yourself.” I looked up and shook my head.         “No no no no no no, buddy. I have no money, I can’t pay for this.” He smiled and shook his head.         “Don’t worry. If you like, you’ll be back. If you don’t, you’ll still come back.” Before I could react, he bit down on a string and pulled it, dropping the shutters of their stand, closing it down. I blinked and banged on it.         “Wait! Please!” I sighed, knowing nothing will happen. Sighing, I grabbed the bag in my mouth and turned around.         The market was empty. No sound of ponies trying to sell things. No pony in sight, for that matter. All the stands were closed down. Not a thing to be seen. I blinked a few times, getting a chill down my spine. This was a little too creepy for my taste. I began to make my way back to the tree bench.         I got back to the bench easily enough. The town was still alive, save for where the market was. I found it creepy how fast it closed down without my noticing. I just shrugged it off, looking back across the street towards the cupcake place. It was still very busy, to my surprise. It was getting dark rather fast as well. I could only think back to what he asked. He wanted dinner later, but when was that? I groaned realizing another flaw. We didn’t even exchange names.