Discord won, never giving Harmony or the Alicorns a second chance to defeat him. With the sisters banished and the Chaos Throne looming over Equestria, the ponies will find Discord's reign isn't as evil as they were led to believe. Hail to the King.
Just for Harmony and the Sisters, Discord decided to take things a bit seriously the second time around.
Now seemingly unopposable on his Chaos Throne, King Discord has all of Equestria at his clawtips.
His very first decree? The very first royal act of chaos? The moment that may define his reign?
Pardoning Mane Six.
Wait, what?
Discord's reign will be filled with surprises, chief being how the draconequus is far from malevolent to those in his lands, despite what the ponies have been told. It seems that while Equestria belongs to Discord now, but he does play(mostly) responsibly.
And as time goes on, the appeal of Chaos can worm its way into most any heart.
Shining Armor galloped through the halls of Canterlot Castle with several dozen royal guards following in his wake. Outside the windows, he could glance and perceive the state of things.
All day long, they had been out in the city, trying to keep this...chaos under some semblance of control; Food that came to life, jumbling together into some bizarre art-like construct of an equine shape…water droplets raining up out of puddles and taking sudden turns in midair…the roads suddenly becoming fluid and rippling before solidifying randomly again…clothes that melted off and formed into large Cloth-Spiders. A red carpet that was either trying to strangle or hug as many ponies as it could.
The list went on, each as unbelievable as the last. It seemed like it would go on forever.
Until purple thunder leapt from the cotton candy clouds, so loud it seemed to make the ground shake, drawing the attention of everypony to the sky again. That was when Shining Armor saw Him.
Discord the Draconequus, Lord of Chaos, Spirit of Disharmony who currently had his baby sister held in his magic as he floated to the castle.
It didn't dawn on Shining Armor at first that this was probably what Discord wanted. The thunder, the slow fly to the castle rather than teleport? He was showing off, gloating.
Not that there was much else he could do: He was duty bound to protect the Princesses and he was brother-bound to try and rescue his sister.
Bursting through the door, he wasn't too shocked by what he saw. To the right were Twilight and her friends, the Element Bearers. Speaking of the elements, they seemed to be wearing them. Only, the gems were all grey and the necklaces had...changed. In fact, they weren't necklaces at all. Instead, they were now all golden bridles harnesses on their heads, keeping them silent- and probably suppressing the unicorns' magic. The gems were fixed above their heads, as if crowns, much like Twilight's had always been. Their hooves, however, were encased in the marble floor, making it impossible for them to move.
Their heads up at the guards' arrival. Some of them looked hopeful, others looked unimpressed. Twilight looked both happy and terrified to have him here.
To the left side was the real show, which made Shining realize the thunder hadn't caused the tremors earlier.
There, bursting from the floor was a large thicket of giant black vines, covered in thorns...holding and binding the Alicorn sisters, pulling all their legs taut and pinning their wings to their barrels. Both princesses gritted their teeth, Luna looking drained and Celestia looking defiant yet...Shining would like to say it was uneasy, but that was clearly fear in her eyes. To add insult to injury, Luna had a sock covering her horn and Celestia had a...bong. An honest to Sun bong. A big one too, covering all of the eldest Alicorn's horn.
And in the middle of it all, half way to the throne, there stood the Draconequus, giving the newcomers a coy smirk, "Ohh, goodie. You're just in time for the show and I did want an audience for this," He mocked with what was, apparently, genuine excitement as he rubbed his claws together.
"I'll only say this once: Let them go," Shining Armor ordered, buying a few extra seconds.
"Oh I will, in time, Royal Guard Captain Shining Armor," Discord promised with a smirk, "Both your precious Princesses and your beloved little sister."
Twilight's friends blinked at that, turning to her in surprise, but unable to ask what they might want to know. Applejack gave Twilight a pitying look, having no desire for Big Mac to be here and make her know what Twilight was going through right now.
Shining didn't react to the Chaos Lord knowing his name, but he couldn't help biting his lip at being called out on being Twilight's brother. Discord knew even more than expected.
"Of course, you're probably also wondering about the...other one," Discord said cryptically as Shining went wide eyed, "Don't worry, I haven't touched her...yet," He added on with a smirk. He didn't even seem bothered by the several spells that got launched his way, bouncing off an invisible and rubbery shield, landing randomly about. The charging miniature army that came after them, on the other claw, had his attention.
His talons were clenched into a first, held out to the charging group...then his pinkie claw extended.
Everypony froze.
Even ones like Shining Armor, in midair to lunge at Discord, found himself completely unable to move anything. Completely still, unable to move or react or do anything but stare at the omnipotence they dared strike.
Opening his talons in a bursting motion, the numerous royal guards found themselves flung back, as if struck by a hurricane. As the wind twirled them about, it ripped and dissolved their armor into dust. Pixie dust, to be exact…the candy, to be clear.
The heap of stallions and a few mares lay in a more colorful mess. Without their enchanted armor altering their color schemes to varying needed degrees, their true colors were revealed. All of them felt drained, as if they ran or flew a marathon with weights.
Fatigued as the rest, Shining Armor still managed to push himself to his feet and glare at the chimeric titan, who was busy scowling at a small scorched chuck of the carpet, "That was a really expensive carpet. The nation that made it does even exist anymore," Discord commented distastefully.
"The carpet...?" Shining repeated in annoyed disbelief, "You're concerned about THAT!?" He yelled, motioning to the princesses and the elements.
Discord rolled his eyes, the sun outside rolling across the sky in the same motion, "I happened to like Hyaenus, Captain, which is rare for me," He retorted as he raised his lion fist and curled it into a fist.
Shining tensed, ready to throw up a shield spell...only to go wide eyed as something brushed by his hooves.
Snapping his attention down, he saw the pixie dust swirling and slithering beneath him. Glancing behind him showed waves worth of it floating over and around the soldiers, all staring in confusion and wonder as it flew and crawled forward, like a legion of insects.
Discord's prisoners and audience all watched as the specks flew past Discord, who still kept his fisted paw raised with a look of absolute victory on his face.
All the ponies went wide eyed at the swarm shot to the throne itself, seeming to embed or absorb itself into the structure. The seat of power creaked and groaned as deep, chaotic magic warped and altered its very existence.
The amethyst flowers turned blue as their roots grew greedily over the edge, appearing as thorny and darker relatives of poison joke. The golden daises shifted and quaked, turning into dull steel with small spikes adorning the edges, including along the sides of the steps. The flowing water suddenly changed to the brown of chocolate milk, oozing from the maws of iron serpentine dragons, with disturbingly wide jaw and too-long teeth and messes of misshapen horns atop their heads while their tails both went along the underside of the dais lips to the back. The two lights behind the throne melted into the wall as two iron poles formed, flanking the throne. Thin, black, thorny vines encircled up them up the length before joining into an oval at the top, a soft yet ominous blue-green light appearing in the centers.
The great archway around the throne was not spared a transformation either. With jagged, uneven spikes, its rim looked more like the horrid jaw of a giant than anything that belonged in a throne room. The gold turned to a sickly blue with irregular, mold-like texture. The depiction of the starry night framing the curve was replaced by the image of an upside down purple fire, burning down at what looked like many small, disfigured orange figures. The orange-dark orange checker pattern was replaced by the grey-purple that Discord often replaced grass with. And as a cherry on top, the symbol of the son eroded away into a circle with lines pointed out in all eight directions: The Symbol of Chaos.
The throne itself was the same high-back, ruby-eyed, horned seat he had used in Ponyville.
And through it all, the carpet remained unchanged and undamaged, the scorch mark long repaired.
Twilight, and the rest of the girls, shuddered as her knees wanted to buckle. Despite everything Discord had done, she didn't think any of them imagined Discord's throne being so...intimidating.
As the last of the dust vanished into the throne, Discord finally lowered his paw, having never taken his eyes off the soldiers staring past him.
"I win," Discord said in finality as he slowly turned and began to walk to the throne.
His tail calmly shoved away the two guards that tried to make a jump on him, stunning them with the impact.
Discord just chuckled as he strode forward. Shining Armor was about to bark a desperate plan to his subordinates, until he caught Celestia's gaze. She had this resigned, sad frown on her face and gently shook her head: No. They couldn't win this fight, not here and now.
The captain of the royal guard gritted his teeth as he looked back to the usurper, calmly waltzing to take the throne. He looked to his sister and those five brave mares that must have stood with her against this enemy and failed. The sight broke his heart.
His sister, Twilight Sparkle...bound, gagged, helpless, defeated...crying. And she was begging him to stop, to give up, for now at least. Or maybe that's just what he wanted and needed to believe at the moment, that that was what she wanted as well.
Fighting back his own tears, he cast a shield spell, stopping more soldiers from running forward to pain and failure, "St...Stand down," He ordered begrudgingly.
"Captain?" One of them asked from behind him.
"We can't beat him," Shining admitted, to them and himself.
The ends of Discord's lips curled up at that as he walked up to the throne. From the lack of resistance or completing his goals or even some random third thing was anypony's guess. With a strangely content sigh, he sat into the throne, his tail seeming to disappear as he did, "A bit cliché, I'll admit, but I suppose I'm allowed one of those every few chapters," He mused, idly examining his claws.
He paused as silence reigned throughout the room, glancing up to see everyone giving him looks of fear or indignant resignation or just plain hate and disgust. He sighed in annoyance at that, "Fine, I guess I'll get the ball rolling again, as usual," He muttered as he snapped his lion claws.
The armor-less guards found themselves lined up in the back half of the throne room, as if they were attending a session of the royal court. They also found their rears firmly stuck to the floor.
'We're here as witnesses,' Shining Armor realized with gritted teeth as his comrades, after a few moments of struggling, resigned themselves to the show before them.
"Well, first Court of Discord in over a thousand years," Discord said with a brief smirk as he tapped his cloven hoof.
The Element Bearers found their bound forms being moved through the marble, as if it were a conveyor belt, phasing through the carpet before they were lined up in front of the throne and staring at their new ruler, "Bearers of Harmony, otherwise nicknamed as the Mane Six: Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle," Discord started, looking them all over.
Pinkie Pie looked utterly defeated with a deflated mane, Fluttershy was shaking like a leaf, Applejack was just glaring at him with animosity, Rainbow was STILL flapping her wings and trying to break free, Rarity was trying to hid her fear behind a noble act of holding her chin high and not giving him any satisfaction and Twilight...Twilight looked utterly broken, lost in her own despair.
His scowl probably was more ominous than he intended it to be, "You six blindly ate up your precious princess's words, deciding to try and put me back in stone without a second thought on the matter, sans Pinkie Pie," He commented in annoyance, "If I were a more petty King, I'd have you all encased in stone as well, even just for a little while."
"Discord..." Celestia whispered pleadingly, only to find his tail slithering from behind a vine and wrapping around her muzzle.
"You had your chance to talk, Celestia," Discord said coldly as his talon dug into the throne, which repaired itself instantly, "You had a longtime to talk and say whatever you Chaos-well pleased. Now it's my turn," He growled as turned back to the thoroughly terrified mares, "That said, you six? I'm impressed," He added on with a smirk as they all blinked, even the guards and the Alicorns, "You fell for my trap, hook line and sinker, but you managed to dig yourselves out of that little hole and "won" our little game. And you did win, girls. If I had bothered to give you a chance, you would have beaten me back there," He praised, looking strangely proud and amused by them, "And since I'm in such a good mood? Here's your sentence: You're all pardoned of attacking me with your only punishment being an impending month of community service," He declared with a grin.
Everypony had wide eyes at that. Discord? Pardon? Mercy? Forgiveness?
This wasn't what most of them imagined eternal chaos would be like.
Pinkie Pie's mane, unnoticed by most, regained a bit of poofiness. Not a lot, but some.
Discord chuckled at their looks, varying between suspicion to hope, "And your first hour or so of it will be as the throne room decorations. I'll send you home a little after the court session is over," He waved his talons, making them zip back over to their original place, leaving them to simmer in their confusion.
From there, a frantic minded Twilight looked to the Alicorn with a bong on her horn, wishing that they could speak.
Discord's tail vanished behind the vines, which deposited the weakened Alicorns before the throne. Both Alicorns shook on their uneasy limbs before removing their horn 'decorations' and raising their heads to stare down the Lord of Chaos once more, "...How did you beat them?" Celestia whispered coldly.
Discord didn't answer, glaring down at them with more than mere annoyance, his mouth just short of a snarl. Then at once, he sighed, eyeing them with a tired contempt, "You know, most in my position would try to have you both publically executed or mind controlled to be my warriors or queens, or even just make you my slaves in one fashion or another," He mused darkly.
"What did you do to the elements?" Celestia rephrased at the conquering king.
"But really? After everything?" He commented with snort, "I just want you both gone."
"Why didn't-!?" Celestia started, only to find her mouth filled with very gooey and sticky peanut butter.
"What part of, you had your chance to talk, did you not understand?" Discord asked rhetorically.
Seeing her sister cease in her struggle with the substance, Luna sighed as she addressed the Draconequus, "What are you going to do with us, Discord?" She asked in resignation.
"Do, Luna? You must not have been paying attention. Here, maybe this will get your attention," He scolded with a smirk.
*THWACK!*THWACK!*THWACK!*THWACK!*
The two Alicorns yelped as they felt Discord's tail slap each of them on both flanks before vanishing from sight again, "Craven beast! Does your depravity have no bounds?!" Luna screeched with an indignant blush.
Discord smirked knowingly, cruelly. The kind of smirk that made her know she missed something very important. The gasps and mutters of horror and disbelief behind her only made that even more clear.
Celestia frantically tapped on her sister's wither, making Luna look to see the white Alicorn pointing to the younger's flank.
Luna followed the line of sight and went numb.
Her flank was blank.
Her cutie mark, symbolizing her connection to the moon and the night itself, was gone.
A weary look to her sister's mark showed the same.
"Alicorns Celestia and Luna," Discord spoke up, drawing their wide eyed gaze, "For all you have wrought against me, I hereby strip you both of everything: Your ranks as princesses, your affinities and guardianship over the Day and Night, and your very homes. As of now, you are both banished from the lands known as Equestria and all others under my rule," He proclaimed with a scowl.
Twilight let out a muffled, sobbing scream and plea as Discord's red eyes glowed briefly, the Alicorns finding themselves engulfed in a crimson glow as well, "You have five days to get pass the borders. You'll both be individually teleported to some place at random otherwise," He warned dispassionately.
Celestia barely even registered the fact the peanut butter melted out of her mouth, "You...you can't do that...," Celestia muttered with wide, horrified eyes.
"I just did," Discord countered with a dry smirk.
Celestia stared at his smug express for a long, long minute.
Then she exploded.
"AHHH!" She screamed as her mane and tail turned into flames, her eyes burning red with hatred as a burning yellow and searing red beam erupted from her horn, the force of it knocking out most of the stained glass windows.
Discord didn't even move as the beam shot for him. But the chocolate milk did, rushing upwards to block the attack like a shield.
Or rather, a barrel.
The attack ended as quickly as it began, Celestia collapsing as she reverted to her usual form, her main fading from multicolored to a rosy pink.
When she looked up, she bit back a curse as she saw the beam was now a golden and crimson glowing liquid, resting in a now upright cylinder made entirely of frozen or solidified chocolate milk. Discord dipped his talons in it, pulling out a glass cup filled with the substance. With a savoring hum and a smirk, he drank the entire thing in a single, drawn out sip, "Ahh, liquid sunshine. Not bad, Celestia. Consider it your last contribution to the ponies of Equestria," He mocked playfully before scowling, "Now, I believe you have about three days to scram?"
"You miserable-!" Shining Armor yelled, only for a snake tail to appear in front of him and press his jaw closed.
"Sister, we need to leave," Luna urged quietly as she helped her stand again, "We will be of no help to anypony if we are lost in the farthest reaches of the world, myself even more so," She pointed out.
Celestia reluctantly nodded, her cosmic magic basically spent without her connection to the sun, "...This isn't over, Discord," Celestia promised, to him and her ponies.
"On the contrary, it is, Celestia," Discord said with a humorless smile, "My time of giving you chances is long over," He counter promised.
He was serious.
All the time she had known and fought him, all she ever wanted was for Discord to take them seriously, to not treat her and the ponies like they were some mere joke or plaything to him.
Well, she had her wish, it seemed. Discord wasn't willing to play with her anymore, and this was the result.
Head held high in defiance, Celestia turned and slowly headed to the door with her sister at her side.
The ponies, guards and element bearers alike, watched in sadness and sorrow as they paced towards the exit, possibly for the final time. Some bowed their heads solemnly, others openly wept at the helplessness of the situation.
When they reached the door, Celestia turned to glare at Discord one last time, before sending a look over all the ponies…an apology for her failure and a plea to stay strong. Her gaze lingered on her st- former student a touch longer.
Luna, meanwhile, glanced meaningful at the Royal Guard captain and the element bearers, nodding intently to both.
With that, they both left, the door slamming shut behind them.
There was a long, heavy sigh at that. Surprisingly enough, it was from Discord himself, "Well, that's over with," Discord said, rolling his neck as he looked over his audience, "So, who's hungry?" He asked with a grin.
Absolute silence greeted him.
"Oh come on now, all you noble soldiers have been running around the better half of the day, dealing with one bizarre feat of chaos after another. You must be skin and bones now," He said, his skin growing taut as his muscles seem to wither away before his whole form dissolved into...sawdust?
"I mean really, weren't you looking forward to a nice double-daisy hayburger today, Private Gray Stone?" Discord commented as he stepped out from behind a random guard with a grey coat and silver-white hair, as most of the ponies leaned away from their conqueror.
"H-how do you know that!? Or my name?!" The private asked in shock as the chaos lord kicked off his feet and floated down to near-pony level.
Discord gave a mysterious, knowing, coy smirk at that, "I may have just took over the job, but doesn't mean I wasn't prepared for it," He commented as he looked over the ponies, "Now, don't be shy, I'm not cheap. Who's hungry?" He asked again. Slowly and hesitantly, a lone hoof rose up, others slowly joining as well. Discord chuckled at that, "Well, since most of you are being less than honest, I'll just give you all a Kingly Treat," He quipped with a snap of his fingers.
Sans Twilight and company, still gagged and pinned in the floor, all of the stallions and mares suddenly found a paper bag in front of them. Tentatively, one by one, they started to open the bags and examine the contents. What they saw confused most and disturbed more a few.
Shining Armor looked to the soldier neighboring him as he pulled out a clear, sealed bowl of soup, "Jagged, isn't that...?" He asked slowly.
"Hollow Shades Mushroom soup, garlic flavored," The dark green stallion answered slowly, looking back into the bag, "Complete with Bitz crackers and a ponpsi soda," he added on with a twitching eyebrow.
"Your favorite foods...," Shining summarized, peeking into his own as Discord floated back to the front but didn't return to the throne just yet.
Even if he did normally love it, he wasn't really in the mood for peanut butter after what just happened.
"This guy is good," Jagged admitted in resignation, looking around as everypony found their preferred meals, making eating them very tempting.
"Umm, Sir Discord?" One pony in the back called, raising his hoof.
"Yes? Something wrong with your food, Sergeant Shield Edge?" Discord asked curiously.
"No, umm, may we use the restrooms?" He asked in embarrassment, having been holding it in for a long time now, since before the chaos even started.
Discord clapped his hands, the rears of the ponies unsticking from the ground as he did so, "Twenty minute lunch break, Ponies! Eat and do your business!" He declared, the double doors opening...upwards, like an upside down drawbridge.
Several ponies ran out the first chance they got, either to get away from Discord or to use the bathroom in most cases. Some slowly left, some feeling awkward or unsure and others just afraid to draw attention to themselves. More though, sat with conflicted looks, glancing towards their captain who glared stubbornly at the newly self-enthroned King of Equestria.
Discord made a show of looking confused, pressing a lion finger to his chin curiously as he looked quizzically at Shining Armor. Then he made a noise of understanding, "Oh, don't worry, Shiner. You can pick up your baby sister after the session is up," Discord assured before smirking in amusement, "Which can resume and end the faster everypony else files out for lunch."
Shining stiffened at the little tidbit, glancing to his sister. As devastated as she looked, tears matting her fur, she still managed to nod. They had to play by Discord's rules now.
Briefly gritting his teeth and swallowing his pride, Shining Armor stood straight and at attention, "...Your Highness," He acknowledged begrudgingly, turning abruptly to march out the door, the rest of his soldiers following suit, several with brief nods to Discord, their expressions the same as their commander.
Once the last of them left, the doors slammed down with a giant, facehoof worthy fart noise.
"That's more progress than I imagined from them," The King noted in approval as he stroked his beard, glass lima beans falling out, before turning his attention to the six mares hoof-trapped in his floors.
Despite their growing nervousness, Discord flew and air rolled over to them with an amused smile on his face. Twilight and Fluttershy leaned down, fearful due to current events and nature respectively while Rainbow Dash and Applejack each glared at him with suspicion and defiance. Rarity and Pinkie Pie, on the other hoof, were merely eyeing him curiously at this point.
Regardless, they all flinched when his tail snapped directly over their heads. When they looked up again, they all soon realized three things.
The first was that they were no longer wearing any gagging headgear.
The second was that Discord's throne was now directly in front of them with its owner sitting in, tail once more vanished.
The last was that Discord now had the faded Elements of Harmony floating above his lion paw.
Only now, they were recolored more dully and looked....squishy and chewy.
Discord promptly ate his life sized, element-shaped fruit snacks, to their disbelief.
Despite their horrified expression, Discord actually looked more comfortable, "There we go, now that that's out of the way, I think it's time you six and I have a little chitchat, clear the air a bit," He suggested with an almost pleasant smile. He found this all too amusing to be completely so.
Well, they had to give Discord this. He was nothing if not unpredictable.
"Chit-chat? With you?" Rainbow asked with a glare, finding her voice before the others.
"Do you have anything else you'd rather be doing?" Discord countered with a smirk, nibbling on what looked like the Element of Loyalty, prompting the pegasus to growl, flapping her wings harder and harder.
Applejack was begrudgingly appreciative of Discord's tail appearing behind her and holding her hat on her head.
"Your Highness," Rarity spoke up in her most prime and proper voice, "Not to sound accusing, but I should hope your tail is not going to be giving us any similar treatment to what the...Alicorns received?" Rarity asked, choosing every word carefully.
Discord's smirk hitched a bit at that, "I knew you'd be the first to play along," He mused, his tail vanishing as Rainbow settled down again, "Frankly, I have no interest in your cutie marks. I was just taking care to minimize how annoying those two could be from here on out," Discord assured, miniaturizing the Element-Snack of Generosity to be bite sized and plopping it in his mouth.
"So...what exactly is your game, Discord?" Applejack asked, getting right to the point, receiving an annoyed look from Rarity.
"My game, Applejack?" Discord repeated in amusement, raising an eyebrow, "Now, you should know that every game is my game," He corrected as a host of boxed board games appeared, floating in midair.
"Not that, ya wormy snake! I mean, what's the big idea, acting all nice and stuff to everypony, giving us a pardon and what not after we tried ta stone ya?" Applejack demanded with a scowl.
"Applejack!" Rarity and Pinkie both hissed.
"Would you rather I had done something cruel?" Discord asked with a head tilt.
"Would have made sense at least," Rainbow muttered. There was a long pause as everypony, Discord included, stared at her blankly, "...I walked right into that one, didn't I?" She asked with a sigh.
"Yes, you did," Discord agreed with a smirk, making a pink dunce cap appear on Rainbow's head, the word dunce written in baby blue. She didn't even need to see it to want it off immediately.
As Rainbow thrashed her head about, Pinkie Pie tilted her head, "So, you're only being nice because it doesn't make sense and it confuses everypony?" She asked curiously.
"Oh no, then you could predict that I would be meaner in the future. No, I'm acting like this because, to be frank, I don't have any beef with you ponies. By the Intangium, immortal sisters aside, every pony I ever had any beef with is dead!" He pointed out, snapping up a beef steak and promptly taking a bite, getting grimaces from a few of them, "Oh, settle down, it was never alive to begin with," He explained with an eye roll.
"Then...you're not mad about us trying to put you back in stone?" Pinkie Pie asked curiously.
"Mad? Yes. At you lot? Nope. Who then? Celestia, mostly. Why? She roped you into this," Discord elaborated with a smirk.
"W-what do you mean she roped us into this?" Twilight asked with a glare, finally able to pull herself together and stop the tears.
"And Sparkplug speaks," Discord noted with a chuckle, "I mean she fed you a few lines about me being the bad guy and, as your thousand long princess of perfection ponified, you couldn't bring yourself to think beyond her word on the matter," He pointed out.
"Hey!" Rainbow snapped warningly, still trying to get the cap off.
"What exactly are ya getting at, Discord?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow, "Are ya implying that Princess Celestia lied to us?"
"Hmm, more omitted than lie," Discord answered as he poofed up a document paper over his shoulder with most of it redacted.
To those that caught it before the paper disappeared, they saw one of the only lines visible was "Discord ruled Equestria in a state of eternal unrest and unhappiness."
"In other words, you're saying there's three sides to every story?" Rarity summarized.
"There are several sides, actually. Their side, my side, public opinion at the time, history's recollection, the truth, the myth, the reality, the propaganda, the trailer, the theatrical, and the remake," Discord listed off, more and more fingers appearing on his lion paw as he did.
"And what side are you going to tell us?" Applejack asked dryly.
"None," Discord answered with a smirk.
"None?" Rainbow asked with a scowl, begrudging leaving her new headwear alone, "Then...what the hay is the point of this?"
"If you mean your hoofs being in the floor, that is honestly just a way to start and knock off some of your community service," He answered with a shrug, "Besides, you six make better decoration than anything Celestia ever put up in here," He complimented with a grin.
There was a mixture of faces that were bewildered, blushing or both at the unexpected compliment, "Umm, thank you?" Fluttershy said quietly.
"You're quite welcome," He said, reaching down to pet her head, only to stop at her flinch, "Oh, right, that. Well, as for the reason of this discussion?" Discord continued on with a hum, "Partially to restate that, yes, you are getting off mostly scot free this time. But also to try and get Celestia's thoughts out of your head."
"Her...thoughts?" Twilight asked with a scowl.
"You thought exactly what that marble mare wanted you to think. So, if your thoughts aren't original, they're not really yours, are they?" He asked with a smirk.
"..." Silence was the first reaction to his cryptic commentary.
Discord hummed as he pulled out an oversized pocket watch from behind his back, "Well, just look at the time, lunch is almost over. I suppose we should wrap this up. I'll leave the muzzles off as long as you don't disrupt things too much," He mused as his throne floated off the ground and began to move back to its original place on the dais.
"W-wait," Twilight spoke up, steeling herself as the throne stopped but didn't turn, "Y-you have to know that most of those guards probably won't come back," She pointed out with a glare.
"Yes, I imagine many of them will be running off to tell everypony the news," Discord answered in utter boredom, not even looking at them as he examined his claws.
"Then why not end the meeting entirely?" Twilight continued suspiciously.
"You're a smart mare, Twilight. Come on, think a bit for yourself," Discord encouraged with a smirk. Twilight stared at him in confusion for several seconds before opening her mouth, "Don't think like Celestia, Twilight, think like you," He interrupted knowingly.
"I, um, think I know."
That actually got Discord to tilt his gaze in the direction of the speaker, to one sheepish Pinkie Pie who now had all eyes on her, "Do tell," Discord prompted on, enjoying the surprised and curious looks from the rest.
"...You only want to talk with the guards willing to play?" Pinkie Pie answered slowly.
*BING!BING!BING!*
*WHOOO!WHOOO!WHOOO!*
*WINNER!WINNER!WINNER!*
Fluttershy and Rarity leaned to the sides as bright signs popped out behind Pinkie Pie, all pointing at her with various messages of congratulation, praise, and victory. Meanwhile, Rainbow's dunce cap floated off of her head and headed over to Pinkie Pie, turning inside out and into a paper crown that plopped down on her head as she looked around in surprise.
Her mane regained a bit more poofiness again.
"You are correct, my good mare!" Discord declared in a rugged voice, appearing in miniature as he popped out of Pinkie's mane on her head, leaning over the crown to yell into her eyeball, "After all, it's best to know who the quitters are so I can convince them to come around," He explained, getting dangerous close to her eyeball before flashing back to his throne in full size, the signs vanishing but the crown staying.
"So, this is all a game to yo-" Rainbow started up, only for Discord to continue as if she had said nothing.
"Besides, it'll be interesting to find out which soldiers are smart and loyal enough to try and work with or around me for the sake of Equestria rather than utterly dependent or fanatically loyal to the former princesses. That or the ones trying to be ambitious and get on the new boss's good side, either or," Discord mused casually.
"..." No one seemed to have a comment to that, or lacked the desire to share.
"Now if you're done interrupting?" Discord asked rhetorically as he clapped his hands twice.
The double doors slammed open as the carpet wrapped around them and threw them lightly inside.
There were less than two dozen groaning guards sprawled on the floor of the near hundred that had been in attendance earlier.
"Excellent turnout," Discord murmured, his throne now back on the dais as he looked at the striped blue mane of Shining Armor, shaking his head as he got off the floor, "Have a nice lunch?" He asked cheekily.
Shining gave him an annoyed expression, "All we could hear was wolves howling at the moon," He said dryly.
"Really? They must have been sleeping on a summer afternoon," The Draconequus remarked coyly, "Tell me, Captain Armor, did you ease drop on Celestia in the throne room? Is that a new thing now among guards and royalty?" Discord asked with a smirk.
Shining Armor just gave him a "really?" expression, "Yes, it is," He answered bluntly, to Discord's surprise than immense amusement, "Especially when it's a new ruler talking alone to the bound ponies he supposedly just pardoned," He pointed out, motioning to the captive mares...blinking and doing a double-take as he realized they weren't gagged.
"H-hi, Shining," Twilight greeted with a weak, awkward grin.
"Twilight," He greeted, shaking a bit as he held himself in check from running over and hugging her right now, "Are you...alright?"
"Yeah, we're fine, minus our pride," Rainbow Dash muttered with a frown.
"You beat an unbeatable game against the Lord of Chaos," Discord commented dryly, "Hang that from your fishbowl and sell it on a turtle."
"...What?" Several ponies asked in exasperated confusion.
Discord smirked briefly before looking to the captain with a lazy yet amused expression, "So, Captain, guards? Shall we begin?" He asked with palms open and extended outward.
"And where would you like to begin, "Sir"?" Shining Armor asked evenly, "Because as of now, the better half of a hundred guards are running around, telling everypony about how the Princesses were defeated and banished with the Lord of Chaos taking the throne. Thus, the rest of the Royal Guard and Canterlot Police might just fall into disarray while trying to manage Your chaos. Meanwhile, all businesses are shut down nationwide, if not world wide, due to the insanity of everything happening with ponies panicking for their lives, over the strange happenings and soon over learning of your victory," He listed off, staring intently up at the chimeric king.
"...Twi, yer brother has brass jewels," Applejack whispered to her wide eyed and paling friend.
Discord, on the other tail, looked all too pleased by the rant, "Is that all, Captain Armor?" He asked coyly.
For some reason, the continued and almost emphasized use of his rank was starting to wear on the stallion, "That's the gist of it, Sir," He answered stiffly.
"Excellent!" Discord cheered with a grin, "Now, onto business. This is for all of you guards," Discord said, motioning to the still armor-less ponies that perked up at attention, "I want you all to find every guard still willing to follow orders. Tell them to find the Canterlot Public Outhouses and read the pamphlets," Discord explained casually.
"But...Canterlot doesn't have outhouses," Twilight commented in absent confusion, her brow scrunched, many of the guards nodding with similar expressions.
"It does now," Discord answered with a grin.
"Of course it does," Shining Armor said with a sigh as he turned to the soldiers, "You heard him," He said in resignation.
"Not just yet," Discord called as the guards saluted, mostly out of training and habit, "I need Privates Fritzy Flight and Midmorning Shade to stay behind, along with Sergeant Shield Edge. But before the rest of you run off, you'll be needing something back," He said with a smirk as he snapped his fingers.
Shining Armor blinked as he found them back in their armor, illusions and all.
Actually, that wasn't right. The armor was changed, but just a little. The backs had the symbol of chaos on them in a soft orange color and the edges were trimmed with grey-blue. Shining's personal armor was still purple, the symbol on his back being more of a faded red than orange, but the gold lining was now the same blue-green as the glow in the plunder-lights at the back of the dais. And there were two small curved horns on his helmet.
The biggest difference was that all of the mares were still obviously mares, rather than being illusion effected to look male.
Not a giant change overall, but enough to make clear that things weren't the same.
"Consider it a present for being good sports," Discord commented with a wave of his claw.
'Well, at least we probably don't have to prove we're royal guards somehow now,' Shining thought as he nodded to the troops, who saluted in return before heading out.
And, of course, the entrance now made a fart noise every time one of them passed through it.
"Guess they had the chili," Discord mused with a chuckle as he turned to the remaining guards.
"Umm, what need do you have of us...Sire?" Fritzy Flight asked awkwardly.
"Not used to having a king?" Discord asked toyingly.
"More like I'm not used to still sounding like a mare in this armor," Fritzy answered, her form changed to be grey coated and white haired, but her female form otherwise unchanged.
"Oh yes, that little issue in the spell crafting," Discord remarked with an eye roll, "How no pony figured out how to fix that, I'll never know," He mused absently, "Anyway, yes, I held you all back for a reason. Reasons. Reasonings. Whatever, so, volunteers or shall we draw straws?" Discord asked, holding up an actually picture of a straw.
It was a very beautiful picture, actually, capturing the great detail of an ice cream parlor filled with customers, with all the right shading and coloring but the prominent image was a green swirly straw in a half-finished milkshake glass.
"IIIIIII think I'll just go first," Midmorning answered awkwardly as he stepped forward.
"Spoil-sport, you just don't want to lose," Discord pouted as he reached into the picture and took the milkshake out, starting to drink it. He raised an eyebrow at their looks, "What, I was thirsty? I didn't get a lunch break," He pointed out with a shrug, "Don't judge me."
"...Your orders, Your Highness?" Midmorning requested slowly.
"Yes, yes, of course. Private Shade, as one of the ponies being traded back and forth between the formerly-still-rebuilding Night Guard and the regular Royal Guard, aka the Day Guard, I want you to go and check on the former. More specifically, the Bat-Ponies. I'm sure you can guess why," Discord answered offhoofedly before returning to his milkshake.
"But...how did you know I was in the Night Guard?" Midmorning asked in shock and confusion.
"The same way I know Shield Edge was going to ask a certain princess to precede over the vow renewing between himself and his wife," Discord answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, getting everypony to snap their head at the Sergeant's direction.
His gapping maw said it all.
Fritzy slowly turned back to Discord with a shaky grin, "Sir, may I say it's very freaky you can do that," She commented hesitantly.
"Oh? Was it when Celestia did it?" Discord asked with a head tilt as he threw the empty glass into the portrait, a distant shattering of glass heard as it vanished, before he gained a mock-offended look, "It's because I'm a guy, isn't it?"
"What?" Fritzy asked in surprise.
"That's it, isn't it?" Discord asked with an indignant look as he appeared in front of her, "What, you had a mare on the throne so long that you can't take the idea of taking orders from somepony without a baby cannon? You got a problem with me having a second tail?" He accused overdramatically.
Fritzy, meanwhile, had very, very wide eyes, "No! Nonononononono! I'm not a colthater, I'm not a marist!" She swore quickly.
Discord instantly smiled and patted her on the head, "Good, because if you were, I'd be tempted to sixty-three you," Discord answered playfully.
"...I don't want to know what sixty-three is, do I?" Fritzy asked awkwardly.
"It is obviously the number between sixty-two and sixty-four," Discord answered, giving her a concerned look before turning to Shining Armor, "Captain, don't you have a minimum education test for enlisting? I'd like to think my soldiers can at least count to a hundred," He asked, almost sounding serious…almost.
To his curiosity, Shining Armor didn't answer, didn't even deadpan at that. Raising his eyebrow, he noticed something incredible.
The slight twitch at the corner of Shining's mouth, biting his lip to keep himself under control, the slightly increased nose breathing.
With a satisfied and amused look, Discord floated back into his throne.
Again, his tail vanishing in the back.
Clearing his throat, Discord looked back to the still worried Fritzy Flight, "As for you, my dear, you'll be playing mailmare by heading out to every town, city and settlement to deliver some letters," Discord explained, snapping his talons as a satchel filled with letters covered with a seal that had the design of Discord's likeness biting his own tail.
"W-what?! Every town and city?! That would take weeks, months on my own!" Fritzy cried out in alarm.
"Is she right?" Twilight asked quietly to Rainbow, their expert on all things about flight and speed who nodded.
"The record time for just going around Equestria's borders is about eight days, and that pony trained for it," Rainbow muttered back with a scowl.
"Oh? Were you thinking I'd be sending you alone?" Discord asked in amusement, finger to chin.
Fritzy blinked at that before everypony went wide eyed at a metallic groaning sound was heard, drawing all attention to below Discord.
One of the metal serpentine-dragons along the underside of the dais came alive, the chocolate milk running dry in its mouth as it pulled its head and claws off the structure, its body still groaning and screeching with every movement. It seemed to pop its neck once before winglessly flying over to Fritzy, making her gulp and scurry back a bit as the others tensed at the sight
Up close, it was about as tall as a pony, but only because it was on all fours, its body length and girth clearly much larger than that. In shape at least, it was much akin to a miniature and quadruped Discord.
"This irondrake will get you everywhere a lot faster than...well, pretty much anything short of a teleportation," Discord explained with a shrug, "I just wanted a pegasus so I don't have to worry about you falling off."
"Ummm, okay?" Fritzy answered uncertainly, looking to Shining Armor, who just shrugged cluelessly, "Thanks, I suppose."
"No trouble at all. Just make sure to bring him back before midnight," Discord ordered sternly.
"Why? Will it become unanimated then?" Shining Armor asked curiously.
"No, that's just Venhank's bed time, same as Deanture," Discord answered with a grin, the iron drake nodding with a strange amount of enthusiasm, "As for you, Shield Edge..."
"Let me guess, battle the Rock Candy Spider in the Canterlot Mines with the Sword of Sweetness?" Shield Edge asked rhetorically.
"How did you know about Gogara?" Discord asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No, no, what I need you to do is much more important," Discord answered with a scowl. Not a regular scowl, not a goofy one. He actually looked angry now, "I need you to arrest somepony."
"What!?" Came several exclamations of surprise.
"Sergeant Shield Edge, I want you to go the penthouse of the Royal Seat Hotel and arrest one Ivory Haze, former Judicial Court Scribe," Discord answered coldly, the lights behind him dimming as if to reflect his mood.
"...And if I'm asked on what charges?" Shield Edge asked carefully.
"Among other things? Extortion, Blackmail, Framing, Hiding Evidence, Bribery, and Treachery goes somewhere in there," Discord answered with a sardonic smirk, "Is that enough for you, Sergeant? Captain?" He asked knowingly.
"...No, I think that's enough reason to at least arrest somepony," Shield answered awkwardly, Shining nodding if only to figure out how much of that was true.
"I thought you would," Discord said with a dark smirk, "You'll find a royal warrant in your helmet, but only if you need it," He added on with a jovial grin as the lights returned to normal.
"And me?" Shining Armor asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You're on escort duty,"' Discord answered, smirking with a sideways glance at Twilight, who blinked, "After all, pardoned or not, we probably should make sure one of the most powerful unicorns in the lands gets to her family without issue. Right, Shining Armor?" He asked rhetorically.
Shining didn't know if he should be grateful or annoyed at Discord right then.
"Your Majesty? A question, if I may?" Midmorning spoke up.
Discord gave off a small groan, "I should probably find a different thing for you all to call me. Highness and Majesty are such Alicorn things at this point," He commented randomly, "But, yes, what's on your mind?" He asked in idle interest, prompting the guard's head and helmet to open up to reveal his brain. To his credit, Midmorning Shade just slammed it closed, not looking too freaked out by the strange sensation.
"I was just wondering, why do you need us if you can just summon up or even create any kind of creature to do it for you?" He asked curiously, glancing at the irondrake.
Discord rolled his eyes at that one, "If I want a slimy, evil demon to do my bidding I'll just go find a law firm," He retorted.
Silence reigned for a full second.
Then the three guards started laughing, Shining Armor unable to hold back a snicker. Pinkie Pie was laughing up a storm, as was Rainbow Dash who was hating every moment of it. Rarity had a small giggle with Fluttershy over the joke while Applejack had a good laugh. The only one who didn't seem amused was Twilight.
"I...don't get it, what's so funny?" Twilight asked in confusion, prompting her friends to laugh more.
"Ha, I knew you all had funny bones!" Discord cheered in triumph, pointing index claws at everypony, sans Twilight.
Which resulted in him having two lion paws, four eagle claws, two draconic feet and somehow a squid tentacle sticking out of his chest.
All the extra parts promptly sprung inwards as his tail appeared behind Twilight and started to rub her head playfully, "Except for you. You would be the type that likes the lawyers," He teased.
"How does your tail keep doing that?!" Twilight asked in indignation, forgetting just who and what she was talking to for a moment.
"Please, my tail is like Haflinger's Cat in here! It's everywhere and nowhere until you see it!" Discord declared boastfully with his arms crossed proudly over his chest as the chuckles and laughter died off, "Well, now, we're done here. Go on, off with you all," He dismissed with a shooing motion.
Fritzy stared uncertainly at the irondrake, Venhank she supposed, as she cautiously moved to sit on its back. The moment she did, she clutched on for dear life as it lurched up into the air and shot for a piece of still intact window behind the decorative mares, prompting them to duck their heads as the metal statue and the guard flew INTO the glass, vanishing from sight with a rippling effect.
Midmorning and Shield stared at the phenomenon for a moment before awkwardly heading out. The door, for once, behaved normally.
After all, it wouldn't be truly chaotic if it always did strange things.
"Now all that's left is to send you all home," Discord said as he floated out of his throne towards the former Element Bearers, who eyed him curiously as Shining Armor trailed behind him, "I'll send you a letter about your next bit of community service," He informed with a grin as he looked over them, "Okay, Twilight is staying to visit family. Applejack and Rarity's all live in Ponyville anyway, but what about you three? Your feather heads want a free trip to Cloudsdale? Or you to the rock farm, Pinkie?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"...I can make the trip to Cloudsdale whenever I want," Rainbow answered begrudgingly, Fluttershy nodding.
"I think Mom, Dad, Maud, Limestone, Maud, and Marble are fine but I'm a bit worried about Gummy, the Cakes, and the Twins," Pinkie Pie answered honestly. Her family was a sturdy bunch, but the Cake twins were still babies.
"Twi, you going to be okay here?" Applejack asked in concern.
"I...think so," The unicorn answered, looking back to Shining Armor, who gave her a reassuring nod.
"Okay then, five Ponyville Chaos-express trips, coming right up!" Discord declared, cracking his fingers before holding out his index talon out with an otherwise closed fist, "Pew!" He voiced, pointed at Applejack, who vanished with a blink, "Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!" He declared in rapid succession, vanishing the others all one at a time. Even the floor where their hooves had been trapped in was repaired, leaving not a trace they had been there.
The remaining trio stayed in place for a second before discord raised an eyebrow at her.
"Well? Aren't you going to release her hooves?" Shining asked, just a tiny bit impatient.
"I did, I was waiting for her to step out," Discord answered bluntly, making Twilight blink.
With a lift of her right foreleg, she grinned sheepishly as she realized she was indeed free, "Sorry, got stiff hooves," She apologized.
"Trust me, I can sympathize my dear. After over a thousand years in stone, I'm still-" Discord paused as he realized that the siblings were ignoring him and were currently in a heartfelt embrace, complete with tears of joy and sadness, "-not sure I got all the feeling back yet," He finished dully.
"You have any idea how worried I was about you!?" They both yelled at the same time, blinking at that, "About me? What about you!?" They both asked scoldingly, raising an eyebrow at their syncing, "We did it again. Stop that. No, you stop it!...Twinkle Burger Ice Cream Gravy Treat!...Ohhh, you are good," They continued on with suspicious glares before turning to Discord.
The serpentine hybrid stared at them, looking legitimately surprised, "...I had absolutely nothing to do with that," He answered, very entertained.
The sister-brother pair turned back to each other, Shining getting the first word in, "Says the mare tried to play a mad god's mind games!" He pointed out with a relieved smile.
"Hey!" Discord snipped with some offense.
Twilight rolled her eyes at her brother, "Like you're one to talk, getting snippy and lippy with the creature that just proclaimed himself your King, threw you and your soldiers around like ragdolls, banished and stripped the ALICORNS of Day and Night, and-" Discord decided to have mercy on Shining as his lion paw, claws retracted, held Twilight's mouth closed.
"Okay, okay, Sparkplug, you won that round," Discord said, looking to Shining who was glaring lightly at him for touching his sister, "You ever get tired of never winning against any of the mares in your life?" He asked, almost sympathetically.
"...Sometimes, but as Twilight points out often, I statistically have to at least once," Shining admitted with a scowl.
"Maybe after you get married and use your wife as a javelin," Discord quipped with a smirk, getting odd looks, "Well, I think you two have some ponies that probably really want to see you both," He suggested in a knowing, prompting way.
"...I want to hate you. So, so badly," Twilight admitted with a scowl.
"No, you don't. You're just disappointed I'm not turning out to be everything she said I was," Discord countered with smirk.
Twilight glared another second before letting Shining lead her to the open door...which promptly slammed shut in their faces as a shadow loomed over them.
"Oh, I'm sorry, there's just one tiny detail left, my little ponies," Discord said ominously from behind them, a cold shiver running down Twilight's spine, "...I think this belongs to you," Discord commented, prompting them to shake off their fear, turning to see what he stopped them for this time.
There, in Discord's paw was a curled up and sleeping baby dragon and on his shoulder was an owl.
"Spike, Owlowiscious!" Twilight exclaimed in shock and happiness.
"Whooo," The owl greeted with a delight hoot.
"I keep telling you, Twi-Light," Discord mock-scolded the avian as it flew over to Twilight's back, prompting him to put Spike on Shining Armor's own.
"...When did you get an owl?" Shining Armor murmured with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, right, hadn't gotten around to putting that in a letter yet," Twilight remembered as she looked up at Discord again and sighed in resignation, "Thank you," She droned out with a scowl.
"What? I'm not about to leave a baby unattended for days at a time. What kind of monster do you think I am?" Discord asked with a smirk.
Twilight wisely chose not to answer for many reasons, turning to leave with her brother.
The doors, this time, turned translucent and intangible as they walked through it, making them both shiver at the strange feeling.
As the doors solidified, Discord danced his fingers together thoughtfully, "Let's see: Set up my throne, dealt with Celestia and Luna, gave Twilight and her friends a very light punishment, made everypony confused enough to question every belief they do and don't have about me, getting a certain pony arrested, sent the letters out, had a heart to hearts with the girl, started getting Celestia out of their heads, working on royal guards, found a funny bone in the captain, and sent everypony on their way to work or home," He listed off before looking confused, "...What am I forgetting?"
*Creeee......*
Discord blinked with wide eyes, looking back at the massive wall of Plunder Vines that had previously been holding the Alicorns, their spiked limbs moving lightly, "Oh right...Surprised no pony mentioned that," He realized with a raised eyebrow looking them up and down to the giant hole in the floor they had made, "...I actually didn't think about what I was going to do with these after I banished Celestia and Luna...eh, I'll figure it out tomorrow," He decided with a shrug as he poofed back onto his throne, the chocolate-barrel of Liquid sunshine beside him, "Hmm, guess I should see what this stuff can do."
Discord was hardly idle despite leaving the kingdom to its first night of chaos. He had been moseying his way through the castle, making little changes as he went. Like making the white walls any manner of color schemes: Plaid, checkered, vermicular, stripes, argyle, polka dots, stipple, etc. He wasn't really paying attention, just making sure he didn't repeat the same thing. He was still deciding on the ceiling, wanting to do something akin to viewing the night sky or the ocean depths, but more unique and original. View of the core, perhaps? The floor he was saving for later, but he did change many of the carpets into disco floors or squares of randomly flashing lights…except for the Hyaenusian rug in the throne room, of course.
*CRASH!*
Discord paused with idle interest as something broke through a window, sliding and tumbling down the hallway. If it had been a pony through a normal window, they would have been cut to pieces without some kind of protection. Luckily, this was his castle now and more importantly, that was his guardmare and irondrake, "Well hello, Fritzy Flight! I trust you and Venhank had a successful flight?" he asked cheerfully as the window pieced itself back together.
The illusioned mare turned her helmet so it was on straight again, while the irondrake started to munch on a potted plant- the pot, not the plant. "Umm, mission accomplished, your majesty?" she answered uncertainly, giving him a salute all the same.
"Excellent! You ponies should adapt to things rather well now," Discord declared with confidence.
"Ummm, Sire? I really don't understand," Fritzy commented cautiously, not wanting to set the king off.
"Of course you don't. Standing under things is typically not too enjoyable," Discord pointed out factually, leaning down to bop her on the nose. He stroked his chin then in thought, "Unless it's the shade. Or a waterfall."
"...Or a cotton candy cloud?" Fritzy tried with a weak grin.
"Nice try," Discord responded with condescending approval, "Try being original next time and I'll at least give you an A for effort." He followed through on this, making a nice red "A" appear on the side of her armor.
"Sorry?" the pegasus offered, not even sure what she was apologizing for and not noticing the little grade marker on her armor.
"Oh, it's fine, it's fine," Discord assured good-naturedly, before waving down the hall perpendicular to where he had been going, "Just head down that hall until you find another one with a pink lava lamp wall. Follow that one and look for an exit door. If you've hit the aquarium, you've gone too far. Do not feed the sea monkeys or the moths get jealous and go on strike again," he instructed, finishing off with a stern tone.
"...I'm still getting paid, right?" Fritzy tepidly inquired after a moment. If she was going along with this madness, she at least wanted to make sure she could still pay bills.
"Of course, of course. First of the month this time, fifth of the next month," Discord assured with a dismissive flick of his claws.
Fritzy stood there awkwardly for another moment before giving the draconequus a small bow, "Have a good night, Your Highness," she offered before heading off, hoping his directions were accurate.
He smirked as he watched the royal guard take her leave. 'With all my redecorating, she never even realized just where we are in the castle,' he mentally mused as he continued down the hallway, the room he was looking for already in sight. He wasn't surprised by the lack of guards. Really, he would have been surprised if there had been any at all.
Opening the dark blue door, he was more amused and less annoyed than he should have been by the overtly night-themed bedroom, complete with a crescent shaped bed. Admittedly, he'd have to give the designer props for making that, but the buyer had no sense in originality.
After all, just because Luna was an Alicorn of the Night, didn't mean she needed to over sell it.
"Or did Celestia order this for Luna?" He mused absently, picking up a grey dragon plushy on the bed. It was well worn, covered with so many preservation spells that anyone using magic-based sight probably wouldn't see the doll at all.
"Yes, she did," A feminine voice answered evenly.
Discord smirked at that and returned the toy to the bed, "Oh? Are you finally done hiding, Princess Cadence?" he called playfully as he turned to face the Alicorn in the doorway, keeping up a mask of calm sternness. "Weren't you suppose to sneak through a secret exit and help plot some resistance against my rule and get in contact with your aunts?" the god pointed out, stroking his beard.
"That was the plan, yes," Cadence answered with a scowl, "Would I have even made it out of the city?"
"Sorry, Amore, but no," Discord said, suddenly shoving a spoon of strawberry ice cream into her mouth. The love princess went wide eyed, instinctively spitting the treat out. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good resistance. Helps weed out the trouble makers, among other things," he paused as Cadence blinked and looked at her new outfit in the mirror: A camouflage jacket with some sort of oval-shaped black and white helmet, "But you are a bit too valuable in the long run."
With a flash of her horn, the outfit was gone, "And of what value am I to you, Discord?" She all but demanded.
"About as valuable as you were to Celestia, adoptive-familial love aside," Discord answered, before leaning to the side to stare at her flank; More exactly, her cutie mark. The Alicorn said nothing, but couldn't hide some discomfort, "...How much did Celestia tell you, really?" He asked with a small scowl.
"I know about the Crystal Empire, if that's what you mean," Cadence answered in resignation.
"Not entirely what I meant, but that'll do for now," Discord mused, sounding a bit disappointed as he looked off wistfully.
"Is this the part where you try to convince me that Celestia and Luna were the evil ones?" Cadence questioned with a glare.
"This is the part where I tell you not to worry about Armor-Boy," Discord countered with a smirk.
Cadence was careful not to react to that, "The guard captain? What about him?" She asked with false confusion.
"Oh, very good poker face! Did Celestia teach you or is that all natural?" Discord commented teasingly, poking her in the cheek for a moment. "No, but really, I know what you two did in the broom closets."
"..." Cadence blushed at that, sighing as she realized he had her, "And why shouldn't I worry?"
"Because I'm a god, Cadence," Discord responded with a warm chuckle as he motioned her to walk out the door with him. "And if you're going to be a proper goddess one day, you need to take one thing to heart: We have the luxury of being able to offer far more rather than take away, thus we can accomplish so much more with tempting offers than such simple threats," he mused as he closed Luna's door, his tail pulling a zipper around the edges and making the door part of the wall.
"So, bribery over blackmail?" Cadence quipped, unimpressed.
"You make it sound so nefarious," Discord returned, amused. "It's no difference than Celestia safe guarding Equestria, among other things, in exchange for ruling it. They give me loyalty or accomplish other lofty tasks, and I give them suitable rewards. In the end, everyone is better off."
"Except the ones that don't follow you," Cadence countered.
"No, except the ones actively working against me. A subject is a type of ally; a subservient one, but an ally all the same. And an ally is not an enemy. Well, unless it's a frenemy, but still. So, the more my allies help me, the more I will help them and I use the reverse to entice them into such an arrangement," Discord continued on, almost sounding like he was trying to teach her something. "Like, for instance, instead of fearing for Lovercolt's life, I'd rather you ponder the prospect of getting him immortality."
Cadence bit her lip to stop her face from showing just how much she would truly want that, "Why would I trust you?"
"Why did you confront me?" Discord challenged with a smirk.
"I'm the Alicorn of Love," Cadence stated bluntly.
"And the 'Tyrant Discord' Celestia told you about hardly seems like a fellow that you would sense love from, no?" Discord guessed knowingly.
Cadence said nothing. He was right on all counts. Unless he could fake his emotions, even to her, he did in fact have love in him…many different shades of it too. Who they were for, she couldn't tell since they weren't anywhere nearby. What that meant, she wasn't sure, other than the obvious. Discord was not a heartless monster, that much she could not deny.
"Was this really necessary?" Discord asked, dragging her out of her musing as he stood down the hall and looked down at the blasted form of Venhank, scraps of metal scattered around the irondrake's corpse. Most of it was hollow and intact, except the side of the head being blown off.
"I still don't trust you," She pointed out, both as an answer and a statement.
"You trusted me enough to be fully aware of your presence in the castle despite having not made any indications of such, yet you didn't trust me enough to let you come to me on your own?" Discord questioned, as if he found the notion preposterous. With a wave of his claw, Venhank was reformed and reanimated.
The irondrake withered on the ground for a moment before standing up, hissing at Cadence and flying down the hall.
"I...have no idea what that even means," Cadence admitted in confusion.
"Oh, it means he doesn't like you. Blowing someone's skull off will do that," Discord answered idly.
Cadence cringed, resisted the urge to face-hoof and sighed as she let the question go, "So what becomes of me now, King of Equestria?" she asked pointedly.
"I don't know, Princess, what does happen to you?" Discord countered as he grinned down at her.
Cadence stared at him intently until his words clicked, "You're not going to do anything to me," she realized in slight shock and growing suspicion, "You're going to leave me as a Princess...to help win over the opinion of the ponies?"
"Yes, that does make sense, doesn't it?" Discord commented in whimsical amusement as he started to stroll forward slowly, "Having you still playing a part in the government would make things easier. An Alicorn, even you, would be a comforting and familiar anchor for the masses to latch onto as they try to work through these strange and early days of this Neo-Discordian Age. And winning over your loyalty to some degree wouldn't be too hard. All I would have to do is show you how you might go about keeping your soulmate at your side instead of passing into dust. I've already sparred Twilight Sparkle, the little sister you always wanted and one day will have, so I obviously already have some brownie points with you. Likely the whole reason we're having this talk or perhaps even the real reason why you didn't flee. Really, all it would take is tutoring you in a few perks of godhood and magic that Celestia didn't tell or know about and then prove to you that I am looking out for the ponies of Equestria to some extent. Quite likely when one of the bolder nations thinks that they can make a move on these lands now that the sisters have been dethroned. At which point you'll find the image of a monster from your aunt's warnings to be unrecognizable from the king you've come to know."
He stopped, looking back at the Alicorn, who looked back with open shock as he systematically broke down how he could win her over, to an extent. And the worst part was that even after hearing him lay all of that out, leaving it for her to suspect it, she had to admit...it would probably work.
"Yes, those are all very logical, sensible reasons for me to keep you involved, Mi Amore Cadenza," he agreed with himself, smirking with slasher-toothed teeth...before grinning mischievously, "But in all truth, I just like having you around. Deities are rare in terms of coming to be one, and it's always fun to help the newly ascended through their formative years as they shed their mortality more and more," he confessed cheerily. "Now, as much as I'm not a curfew type, you really should go to bed, Princess. You look exhausted."
And with that he left, an immortal mare staring after him in incomprehension of what was just said to her, really. She came here, expecting to be mocked, maybe imprisoned or threatened and hoping to get some clue into what his intentions were. Instead, she got a very cryptic message of what she may or may not have to expect in the future.
Once the ancient deity had left the area, Cadence let out a breath and sighed heavily, "...And I have no idea where my room is anymore, great."
Meanwhile
It was all over.
The six mares floated in midair, with their eyes a glow. Power ran through them and each other, Harmony made manifest into a prismatic beam.
The God of Chaos sat so smugly upon his throne, unwavering belief in his victory. More than one of them took great joy when he looked again and saw his wide eyed and fear engulfed stare as he saw what was happening, what was coming for him.
The rainbow struck him dead on and his chimeric form began to twist and turn in terror as he became stone once more, fear and disbelief permanently etched into his face.
They descended onto the green-again ground with mile wide smiles and a few smirks before they started cheering and celebrating at the sight of their town and home being normal again, even as Discord's statue fell...
And crumbled into dust.
"Umm, was that supposed to happen?" Applejack asked in surprise as they stood in awkward silence.
"I...don't think so," Twilight answered uncertainly and uncomfortably. She never imagined the Elements killing any living creature, to be honest…not even Discord. Was the statue that delicate last time?
"Did we...kill him?" Fluttershy asked nervously, the thought probably breaking her heart.
"Maybe he just turned into a statue of dust this time?" Pinkie Pie suggested as she pronked forward curiously-
*CRASH!*
-slamming her nose into a seemingly invisible wall, "Owowowowowo!" She cried as she rubbed her nose.
"What the buck?" Rainbow called, scowling as she flew over to the party-pony and reached out to a solid, flat surface. She raised an eyebrow, as did the others behind her, before she firmly knocked on it.
*Creeeee*SLAM!*
"No..."
All at once, their home and their victory fell away. Literally, as four prop walls, one with a fifth wall for the ceiling-sky attached, fell away to reveal the Chaos Capital of the world still stood proudly before them.
And right on the hill, greeting them, was the empty throne of the tyrant.
"No."
"No way!" Rainbow yelled in disbelief as Rarity and Fluttershy took a step back in fear and shock, Applejack's jaw dropping, unable to hide her own terror for a moment while Pinkie Pie just stared with wide eyes.
"W-what is this? How is this possible?!" Twilight cried out, her world seeming to spin and evaporate around her.
Cold, terrible dread crawled up her spine when she felt two different set of claws on her withers, breath in her ear and a soft whisper from what sounded like evil itself at the time, "Did you really think I'd give you a chance?"
"NO!"
Twilight screamed as she awoke with a cold sweat from her sleep. In a frantic moment of desperation, she looked outside her window. To her dismay, she saw enough to confirm it wasn't a nightmare. Besides being back in her old bedroom at her parent's Canterlot house, she could see pink clouds against the night sky. If that wasn't enough, the stars moved about and preformed a silent comedy montage featuring a pony, a giant iguana with a top hat and what she could only call a squirrel-bat.
With a depressed sigh, she rested her head on the windowsill. This was Discord's Equestria now, and that wasn't likely to change soon.
"Twilight!" her mother and brother yelled as they rushed into the room.
"We heard you scream, what's wrong?!" Twilight Velvet asked as they looked around vigilantly.
"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Twilight assured with her hooves raised. Seeing their calm, she let a sigh pass through her lips, "Just...a nightmare, I guess."
"Oh Silly-Twily-Filly," Velvet cooed, walking over and hugging her daughter comfortingly, "Is this about what happened?" she asked sympathetically.
"LSBFF, if you already told ME to stop beating myself up over not being able to stop the bucker, then you can't either," Shining reminded with a forced smile as he joined them.
"You weren't the one Princess Celestia entrusted this with..." Twilight murmured into her mother's coat, swallowing down tears.
"Twily...," Shining started with a sigh, glancing to his mother who nodded, "The Princess entrusted me to protect her, Canterlot and Equestria as a whole. Buck, safeguarding Equestria is in the oath all soldiers take. So, technically, I'm the bigger let down here," He pointed out.
Velvet sighed at that, "Can you both stop insulting yourselves? Night Light and I are just thankful you both came out of this unharmed," She requested soulfully as she pulled Shining into a hug as well.
The siblings were thankful she didn't word it as Discord's mercy, even if that was what it was in the end, "...Speaking of Dad, where is he?" Twilight asked curiously, perking her head up.
Velvet rolled her eyes at that, knowing the cause, "He's got a soap-cold," She informed flatly.
"...Soap-cold?" Twilight asked with a twitching brow.
"Yes, every time he sneezes, a torrent of bubbles shoots out his nose. But thanks to those pamphlets, we at least know to cure it with paprika," Velvet explained, watching as her daughter processed that.
Twilight groaned and rubbed her skull, "Oh...my brain is going to commit suicide, I know it."
*WOO-BOOP!*
Twilight's eyebrow twitched at that, "Did...did it just turn to day?" She asked in resigned dread as the sunlight poured through the window.
"Almost evening, by the looks of it, but, yes," Shining Armor informed with a fake smirk.
"In fairness, sunrise was too far away from now," Velvet mused wryly, "Come on, let's go have some breakfast...or supper, or...Buck it, it's been a bad day, we're all having whatever deserts we have on hoof," the mother decided, hoping to cheer her children up some as she headed down to the kitchen.
They smiled for her. They didn't feel better yet, but they appreciated the gesture enough to act a little.
"...You sure you're alright?" Shining asked once they were alone.
"No, no I'm not," Twilight admitted with a scowl, "The Princesses won't stop until they reach the boarder. They should make it in time, but how would we get in contact with them?"
"What about Spike?" the elder sibling suggested, getting a head shake.
"Discord no doubt did something to him. If the spell works, it'll probably just go straight to Discord," Twilight answered in distaste. "I'd try it if I didn't think he'd pretend to be the Princess to fool me and I am not in any way prepared to emotionally handle a situation like that," she admitted. She was well aware of her own issues and flaws.
Shining sighed at that, "And I'm not sure what contacts I have in the army and elsewhere haven't abandoned their posts due to....everything. I'll have to make a few letters of my own when things calm down a bit."
"...What do you know about Ivory Haze?" Twilight asked with a frown.
"Nothing. I mean, I've seen him plenty of times when guarding a court of law, but his name never came up to my knowledge in anything else," Shining answered honestly.
"So, Discord is lying?" Twilight questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Possibly. But even if he is, what could he want with a former judicial court scribe?" Shining pointed out.
"I don't know, but...with those charges, even if they are fake, Discord could have a pony killed," Twilight muttered distastefully.
"Twilight, he can kill anypony if he really wanted to and make it look like an accident, why go through this pretense of a legal trial?" Shining asked, both her and himself.
They both sank into an uneasy silence before both quietly deciding to drop the topic for now.
"...Be careful, Shining," Twilight said after a moment, "I know you're going back out there, and to him."
"You're the one stuck on community service," Shining retorted half-heartedly, getting a momentary smile from her, "Just keep your head down for now. Discord is probably going to keep you and your friends close at hoof for now, so if anypony will get an idea of what he is up to, it will probably be you six."
Twilight nodded absently. The situation seemed less oppressive than it did last night, but it was still bad to her. Celestia and Luna would be out of Equestria soon. Hopefully they had some foreign allies who could aide them in this. Discord had all of Equestria under his thumb and was playing some odd mind game of letting his chaos loose while giving everypony instructions how to handle it all.
And there were still two more mysteries: Why had the elements failed them? Was Discord's taint still in them despite their personalities being back? No, that didn't seem right. Discord implied that he never gave them a chance to begin with and they had a chance against his mind games. So what did Discord do? Did...did he know something about the elements they didn't? Something like a source or weakness?
Not only that, but...there was something odd about his throne. Not just the horned chair but that entire setup he made after his victory. It just...didn't fit his style. It was so edgy, so serious. And they would have initially expect that from a villain like Discord and that was why it didn't make sense. His unsettling nature came from bizarre appearances and odd effects on reality, along with a wacky personality. All of which actually made it easy to forget how intimidating and powerful he was sometimes. But that throne was everything she had come to not associate with Discord. Or was that his twisted joke, making a diabolical seat of power after they had gotten used to the goofiness?
She slapped her forehead to quell the rising headache; she didn't need that right now. She was going to go downstairs with her brother, enjoy stuffing herself with ice cream with her family, and forget that Discord was king for at least an hour...then decide if she was heading back to Ponyville or not, for today at least.
And now she had to try and NOT let her mind be plagued with worry over her friends in said town…great.