The life and times of a Queen torn between tradition and the future.
It is said that in times of danger, heroes will come together to face the rising tide of evil, and fight back to preserve the light. These heroes can come from the strangest of places.
This is the story of one such hero. Although she appears to be Queen Haven, you may be surprised to learn her true origins...
Part of the Rebirth of Magic continuity. Tags will be updated as the story continues.
It is said that in times of danger, heroes will come together to face the rising tide of evil, and fight back to preserve the light. These heroes can come from the strangest of places.
This is the story of one such hero. Although she appears to be Queen Haven, you may be surprised to learn her true origins...
Good afternoon. I'm glad you could make it here today. Truth be told I wasn't sure I could fit the time in myself. Being a Queen is a full time job, you know, even if Parliament handles most of the lawmaking. There's always so much going on it's nice to find time to myself or just a chance to socialise.
I heard you liked tea, is that correct? You'd be amazed at how good this stuff is at calming shattered nerves.
But enough about the tea. I know why you came here. You want to know about the confusion that Equestria went through a little while back. Well, the story begins even further back than that, in another world, as crazy as it seems. Mind you, recent events have convinced me that virtually anything is possible. See the purple crystal in my crown? It used to be blue.
Our story begins with a man in a place called London. He had decided to visit a place called Buckingham Palace, which is the London residence of the British Royal Family. It was open for a while as the British King was in Windsor, preparing the arrangements for his coronation. It wasn't often that people were allowed into Royal residences, which is why he jumped at the chance.
He went in through the gates and joined the line to start his way round, with the self guided tour now loaded onto his phone. All he needed were some headphones to listen to it.
I'm not boring you to death, am I?
No? That's a relief. I have been known to waffle a bit.
But back to the story. He made his way down the corridors and soon found himself in one of the important rooms. Although really called a Room of State, it was basically a glorified office, though with much nicer furnishings than most offices. On display were things such as pens used by the late Queen, a selection of things that belonged to the corgis-
Oh dear. Cloudpuff seems to be a bit restless. I'll ask Zephyrina to take him for walkies later.
Anyway, the most notable objects were a small selection of the Crown Jewels. These objects rarely left the Tower of London, and for them to be kept here without much guard was rare indeed.
He looked closely at them, before spotting an oddity amongst them. The app let you use a phone camera to scan an object to learn more about it via a QR code. One of them was a light blue crystal that seemed to glow with its own energy.
"That's not normal," he said to himself, so he scanned it.
There was a sudden flash, and a brief message flashed over the app. The people need their ruler! Take her place!
He was understandably a bit confused by this. He was even more puzzled by his reflection in the screen a few seconds later. His eye colour had changed from its usual brown to a very faint blue, almost grape in shade.
He was even more confused when his ears began to shift. They grew in length atop his head to the point he looked like an elf. "What the Hell? What's happening?"
His face began to get pulled forward as fur a shade somewhere between pink and purple began to grow across his face. Before long, he looked like something from a freak show.
Next, his hair seemed to wake up, first by growing longer in several places. The back began to twist itself together and align itself along the back of his head in some sort of braid.
It seemed to gain considerable amounts of density around the top of his head, forming a considerable weight atop the head of a person used to having short hair. At the front, it flowed across from left to right in a slight arch. The colour then began to shift, moving from a previous brown to a mixture of blue and purple shades interspersed with one another.
He had little chance to react to other things happening, however. He howled in agony as his arms snapped and were reforged into a different shape. Almost better suited to four legged movement. His fingers and hands seemed to melt like running wax, forming... hooves? The changes were gradually ripping his clothes apart, a process that accelerated when pain built up underneath.
Moments later, a pair of bony structures erupted out of his sides. Within seconds they were covered in layers of muscle, skin, fur, and a series of purple, bluish purple, and greyish purple feathers.
Speaking of the fur, it was continuing to spread down his body. The process of shifting anatomy soon made its way down to the rear portion of his body. His hips began to widen as his legs shifted backwards to their former locomotion. It would have made walking on two limbs very difficult considering the shift in weight.
He wasn't male for much longer, either. I'll skip over that bit as it's hardly appropriate considering where we are. But let's just say he pretty quickly became she.
A tail in the same sort of odd bluish grey emerged from her posterior and grew downwards, looking almost like a mop at this stage. The fur had continued spreading across her body, and now had completely covered her entire form.
The feet were the last to change. Her feet seemed to be undergoing the same melting sensation her hands had undergone, before soon becoming a pair of hooves.
She was understandably scared and confused, so she tried to look at the phone screen, which had been dropped in the confusion. She took a look and regarded her new form in horror. "Oh my God. What has that thing done to me?"
I'll interject here, and tell you this person was me. I still get nightmares about it. You're one of only a handful of ponies who knows the truth, incidentally. But back to the story.
I panicked as I saw the phone screen change. I knew enough about this sort of thing that this was the moment my memories were wiped and replaced with Queen Haven's. But the next things that happened surprised me.
The crystal from earlier floated into the air, and was soon merged into a golden crown. This floated into place atop my head as a purple jacket formed atop my shoulders, with a golden necklace with a blue gem inset dropping into place around her neck. A metallic structure was fitted into place to help keep my tail orderly and prevent the hairs getting in a mess. Some of the same braidwork from my mane appeared in that as well.
I knew I had to get out of here. Especially as trumpets had started up behind me for some reason. I dashed for the nearest door, slipping a few times as I still wasn't used to how equines walked.
I crashed through a door, figuring it would get me closer to a window or an exit. But it brought me out into a courtyard.
There was nothing but perfect blue skies overhead. There was glass and white marble everywhere. This place looked oddly familiar.
I turned around and saw behind me a place I never thought I'd see. It was the Zephyr Heights Royal Palace! It gleamed in the sunlight with such intensity I had to cover my eyes.
I went back to the door I had gone through, only to find a storage room, not Buckingham Palace on the other side. What was going on?
As I tried to process what I was seeing, two voices called over. "Mom!"
I turned to see Pipp and Zipp approaching. Oh dear. This was about to get very awkward.
An older stallion with a greying mane also arrived, fully clad in armour. "Your Majesty," he said. "Is everything fine?" His accent was one I was unable to place.
At least he used the correct title for a monarch. "I'm fine," I replied, as I looked to my daughters- wait, sorry, what did I just think? "Just a moment of light-headedness, that's all."
The older stallion noticed I was squinting a lot. "Staff Sargeant Zoom!" he bellowed. "The Queen requires the Royal Sunglasses!"
"Yes, Colonel!" Zoom replied, and handed a pair of black, square rimmed sunglasses to me. At least that's another character I recognise from the film.
I slipped them on and glanced about.
"Is that better?" Pipp asked.
"Much better," I replied. "Now, what's all this commotion?"
The Colonel laughed. "Why, we are hosting a major event in your honour, Your Majesty. The parade ground is this way. We've got half an hour to get there, so a sky transport would seem ideal. Provided that's alright by you, of course, Your Majesty."
They certainly took titles seriously around here. I nodded. "Let us go."
OK then. So it seemed I was a Queen in a country mostly inhabited by ponies. I could wave at things for a bit.
When they had said 'a major event' to be held in my honour, this is not quite what I had expected. I was familiar enough with events like this from my former life to expect perhaps a few dignitaries and possibly a few military units, with the odd musical performance. After all, that's what had been done for the Platinum Jubilee back in 2022.
Instead, as the sky transport docked at what I could only assume was the place where the Royal Family sat, the pathway to the structure was absolutely lined with reporters, whose cameras were positively blazing with flashes, taking pictures constantly.
"Right, you know the drill!" Pipp called to Zipp. "Smile, and look cool!"
Zipp snorted. "Of course Pipp. Cool and collected."
Pipp was doing lots of poses as she walked alongside us. She was really soaking up the attention.
I, on the other hand, realised I still had my sunglasses on. This would make some of the photographs look a bit strange, so I removed them from my face and glanced to the cameras, doing my best to smile pleasantly whilst getting used to the new muscle structure in my face. That was another thing that had surprised me. I had half expected with the different teeth and different face shape, not to mention a larger tongue, that speaking would have been extremely difficult. Instead, communication wasn't actually too different to when I was a human. I guess human and pony biology actually isn't that different.
Naturally, as we proceeded, we were being barraged with questions. Some of them were perfectly reasonable.
"What make of sunglasses do you wear?" asked one reporter.
"Who's your mane stylist?" asked another.
"Who supplies Pipp's streaming equipment?" asked a third.
And them some questions were simply ridiculous.
"Where's the bathroom?" asked one reporter, not realising his microphone was still turned on.
I kept on looking ahead, my focus on my destination. If that individual wanted to know where the WC was, why in the world was he asking us?
Luckily, the figure they'd referred to as the Colonel was on hand to dispel any silliness. "Behind you and to the left!" he called. "Should I dispell the reporters, Your Majesty?"
"There is no need," I replied, before turning to Pipp and Zipp. "Shall we indulge them of a family photo?"
Zipp's facial expression suggested she didn't like the idea, but Pipp's own face lit up at the suggestion. The pair trotted over nontheless and we let them take a group photo. Having looked at it later, the results were less than ideal, but I wasn't aware of that at the time.
At last, we reached the structure at the opposite end of the carpet. The guards had already formed up outside and were scanning for threats. Myself and my daughters then went inside, and stopped. In this small... well, it was a box, were three thrones, which looked familiar in terms of their design. I assumed the biggest and tallest one was for me, and so I took up position. Sitting proved to be an interesting logistical challenge. Trying to prop myself against the back of the throne like a human would quickly proved not to work, as there were weight distribution issues. Trying to use my wings to keep balance simply looked ridiculous, so I slumped, dropping my back legs down and using the front ones to prop myself up.
Pipp looked in confusion. "Everything OK, mom?" she asked. "You're acting a bit strangely, that's all."
"Everything's fine," I replied. "I was... err... checking the back was assembled correctly!"
Naturally, the others inside, including the guards, assumed this was a joke, and laughed. Zipp took up her position and seemingly noted something down in a notebook. I didn't take much note of what was in it. Probably personal observations about proceedings. She would need them, after all, if she's going to succeed me some day.
Just then, the crowd fell silent, clearly excited to see the Royal Family. Moments later, a speaker spoke.
"Ladies and gentlecolts," she said, "I would like to welcome all of you to Trooping the Colour this year. As many of you undoubtedly know, this year marks 25 years since our Beloved Queen took the throne and led us into a new age of prosperity. And so, I'll hand proceedings over to General Clear Skies, who is in command of the military parade."
A figure in a peaked cap and what looked like a pony version of an army dress uniform took the stand. He then addressed the troops assembled on the field. "Company will remove headdress in threes. Headdress... remove!"
In a perfectly synchronised motion, each soldier removed their helmet or whatever headgear they had.
"Company, three cheers for the Queen. Hip hip!"
"Hurrah!"
"Hip hip!"
"Hurrah!"
"Hip hip!"
"Hurrah!"
The precision was at once mesmerising and slightly alarming. Quite how they'd all been trained to say 'hurrah' in perfect sync I have no clue.
"Company will replace headdress in threes. Headdress... replace!"
With another perfectly synchronised movement, the troops replaced their headgear.
"Company will turn to the left in threes. Left... turn!"
At last it seemed the parade was ready to go. But before anything else could happen, yet another fanfare started up.
That's Handel, I thought to myself.
"And now," said the presenter from earlier, "we would like to invite all of you in singing the National Anthem."
And so they did. Much like the music from earlier, the tune was one I knew very well- it was the British one, although with different words. I'd sung the original many times, but now it was a bit strange to be the subject of the words.
They certainly were patriotic, that's for sure.
At last, the parade was ready to begin. A new march was played, and the troops in the square moved off.
And even more entered from the other side, followed by other military things.
In all seriousness, I was caught off guard by the sheer scale of the pageantry. To convey a sense of what it was like, combine the British Trooping the Colour, the typical Independence Day parade, Bastille Day, the May Day Parade held in Moscow, and multiply all of that by about one hundred.
There were thousands of soldiers passing the box, each of them turning their heads to the right and saluting with the relevant wing as they did so. Sometimes vehicles rolled through the scene as well. They were all shapes and sizes. Some of them looked like tanks, and whilst some looked very new, others looked much more vintage.
The Colonel was, at points, explaining to me what some of the things were. "And that is the vintage squadron. Those tanks fought at the Battle of Thunder Bay!"
I didn't really understand what he was talking about, so I simply nodded politely. The parade continued, with more vehicles, which I thought were personnel carriers of some description, rolling past. They were then followed by what looked like missile carriers of some sort.
But most ponies had seemingly turned out to see the Household Guard. Their romanesque armour immediately distinquished them as they passed, and the crowd cheered as they marched past.
I looked on at this with a mixture of emotions as another group of tanks rolled past the box. If nothing else this was quite smelly. Whilst surprising at first, I must admit I was beginning to settle into my newfound position of power. After all, I had hardly been the sort of person anypony would have taken note of back in the life I had once led. And now, here I was, the leader of what seemed like a superpower based on what was on display.
The roar of engines soon attracted my attention. "Your Majesty," the Colonel said. "The air force have prepared something quite special this year. The program calls it the Stack."
I looked up as best I could, and saw five squadrons of jets flying in. As they approached, they formed up in vertical groups, forming layers of five and five.
Clever, I thought to myself. Five and five, of course, makes twenty five, which was how long I'd been on the throne. What would be called a Silver Jubilee back in the UK.
Being Queen was pretty easy if this was all it consisted of. I relaxed a bit, and glanced over to see what Pipp and Zipp were doing. Pipp was busy streaming the event (what else?), but Zipp seemed to be lost in thought.
"Is everything OK, Zephyrina?" I asked.
Zipp seemed shaken out of her thoughts. "Sorry, mom. Just thinking, that's all."
I nodded. "Well, that's always a healthy mindset." I turned my attention back to the parade ground as several cannons had been formed up, each crewed by three pegasi.
It seemed this was the end of the parade, and I counted 25 of them in total. Each cannon was then fired once, symbolically creating 25.
Pipp glanced over. "Why are they aimed so low if they're firing them?" she asked.
The Colonel looked like he was about to answer, but I got there first. "They're firing blank rounds, dear. Nothing actually comes out of the barrel."
I had to watch what I said. After all, things had to be kept running smoothly.
Well, I have to admit that was all quite exciting. After the parade had concluded, we returned to the Palace. The sun was beginning to set in the sky, with the previous blue light beginning to shift to spectacular oranges and reds. The results were absolutely spellbinding to look at, and I have to admit that I was caught off guard by their beauty. Where I had formerly lived, there was so much light pollution that it was very difficult to look at the skies in any meaningful way. And yet here they were unfolding right above me. As I said, stunning.
"Enjoying the view, mom?" Pipp suddenly asked, shaking me out of my thoughts.
"Why, yes," I replied. "Stunning sky, isn't it?"
"Never gets old, huh?" Pipp answered. "I've got a picture of a particularly spectacular sunset as the backdrop to my laptop screen. The Pippsqueaks also LOVE a sunset stream. I might give them one."
"There's something you need to do first," I said to her.
"Mom, I've already cleaned my room. Besides, I thought that's what household staff were for!"
I laughed. "I didn't mean that, darling. Looking at the time, It would probably be sensible to eat next."
A palace guard heard this as we stepped through the front doors. "I'll notify the kitchens right away, Your Majesty," she said, and picked up a telephone. "Her Majesty and Their Royal Highnesses have returned home. Prepare the kitchens for duty."
It was now I realised my lack of knowledge was going to cause us some trouble. I had no idea where the dining room was, so I looked about for any obvious clues. "A map of this place wouldn't go amiss," I said to myself.
"Sorry, mom?" Zipp asked. "A map? Already got you covered."
She passed me a map, and I took a look. It was on the top floor, past the cable room on the right. The cable room sat right above the throne room, so I assumed there must be some sort of elevator to allow us to access that level. "Thank you Zipp. I've lived in this building my entire life, and I still get lost!"
After we made it up there, we went our separate ways to prepare for dinner. I spent some time rearranging things in my stateroom. This was certainly the largest office I had ever seen. It was enormous, and was about the same size as several smaller flats would be normally. They certainly weren't short of space up here, that's for certain.
I continued to look through the room, and saw a stack of papers. I'd work my way through those after dinner and then perhaps drop off to bed. That seemed like a sensible schedule.
A few minutes elapsed, and then the intercom in the room rang. I went answered it. "Hello?" I asked.
"Your Majesty, dinner is served," said the voice on the other end. He had a French accent for some reason. Sorry, I meant to say Prench accent.
"I'll be down in a moment," I said.
Well, this was certainly rather extravagent for what was meant to be a family dinner. Firstly, there were numerous courses of food, and each was brought to the table by an army of serving staff. There were also security guards within the room itself, all of whom were standing completely stock still. The room was certainly airy, but also a bit large. The table was very long, clearly designed for hosting dignitaries and state banquets. This meant we were squashed up at one end, which looked a bit silly.
A band was providing music on a nearby stage, which meant the entire experience was somewhat surreal. I felt like I was in the middle of a Monty Pony sketch and any minute now the punchline would land. Pipp and Zipp at least seemed to have healthy appetites, though watching Zipp trying to eat in a restrained and regal manner was amusing, to say the least.
I glanced over to them. "Well, how was today?"
"I got some great photos of the parade!" Pipp replied, suddenly checking her socials. "Got some new subs. The Pippsqueaks wish you the best, mother."
I smiled. "Let them know I thank them for their support. After all, I am merely a servant of the people, as we all are."
That seemed to get Zipp's attention. "How many units were involved in that parade?"
"A lot?" I suggested. "I hadn't realised we had so many!" I laughed, but the result sounded rather odd and a bit forced. "Still needs some work."
"What if we get attacked?" Zipp asked. "There's always a chance, and if so many units are on parade they-"
I sighed. "We have the Palace Guard, and plenty of troops according to the Colonel. If you're that worried about being in danger I can have your security detail increased. But there's always a final line of defence."
"What?"
"Me. What sort of mother would I be if I was unable to protect you two from the world out there? There's nothing to fear, because I'll be here for you. Always." I paused. "That's a promise."
Zipp looked both surprised and relieved at that. "Thanks, mom," she nodded.
I could only assume Haven wouldn't normally react like this to a situation, but I chose to switch the subject nontheless as the dessert arrived, drawing on something I'd noticed on the map inside the sky transport. "Now, to calm our fears who fancies a visit to Dynamite Beach tomorrow?"
Pipp's eyes went wide. "The new water park? Yes please!"
Zipp looked quizzical. "Don't you have loads to do?"
"Well, seeing as we've been so busy we all deserve a chance to let off steam, I feel," I replied. "Besides, I'll work through the morning and try to clear the backlog."
After dinner, I quickly learned that being Queen was much harder than it looked. The stack of paperwork never seemed to end! Admittedly, most of it was laws that had been passed by Parliament that simply needed signing off on, but I had made the critical error of trying to read through each and every document to try and understand it.
This was a bad idea, seeing as each was incomprehensible. The words were Ponish, but had been put together in such a way that it might as well have been written in another language. I suppose legalese is technically another language.
I rapidly figured out that my signature was a formality, and like the British monarch I had no real power. It was then I had a brilliant idea. Why not acquire an automatic signature machine to automatically apply my signature to documents?
By the time I began to feel tired I'd only gotten through 25% of the stack, and there was still a lot of paper to look at. I decided I would look at it in the morning after I'd gone to bed.
I dropped off my crown on a bedside table and hung up the other objects nearby, before retreating under the covers of my bed, which was about the size of a room in its own right. Seeing as I'd formally lived in a crummy bedsit to suddenly be propelled into such luxury was a remarkable shift.
It helped the sheets were soft too. I wonder what sort of packing they use?
The next morning, I woke up thoroughly refreshed and with a bad case of bed mane. After a quick shower, I went to get my mane and tail into order, to no avail. At around 6:30 in the morning, there was a knock at the door. "Enter!" I called.
A pegasus entered. "Good morning, Your Majesty," he said. "I trust you slept well?"
"Like a log," I replied. "If you don't mind me asking, is there something I need to attend to?"
"No, Your Majesty," he replied. "I am your stylist, remember? It is my duty to ensure your mane and tail are in order."
Perfect timing. "Well, then, you may set about your duties. You can hardly have a Queen looking like she was dragged through several bushes, can you?"
He soon got to work, and I must say he was seriously good at his craft. With only a few minutes of work he had gotten my mane and tail into the exact same configuration as yesterday. "Everything to your liking, Your Majesty?"
I nodded as I popped my crown on. He finished securing the tail support in place. "Yes, indeed. Thank you for your help."
"I am but a cog in the mechanism that keeps Zephyr Heights running, Your Majesty," he replied.
"And yet every cog is vital," I said. "If but one cog was missing, the entire system would stop functioning. You are excused now."
"Very well, Your Majesty," he answered, and exited the room, shutting the doors behind him.
Time to get back to work.
Sure enough, I was able to speed through the rest of the paperwork with my new strategy. In fact, I was making such good headway the pile was down to just a few small items when the bell for breakfast rang.
Breakfast was a similar gaudy affair to yesterday, just with considerably less energetic music. Nothing of particular interest happened, and the next major item on the to-do list was the morning court. This was due to last about two hours.
The number of ponies packed into the throne room was ridiculous. It seemed that everypony who was anypony was there. I suspect it was mostly a display of spectacle rather than any actual importance, but I must say the ceremony and splendour was enjoyable.
I hate to admit it, but I was starting to enjoy all the attention and luxury my status offers. Most of the ponies were diplomats from other cities in the Pegasus Empire, and I used what was being discussed to get up to speed on political happenings within the country. You never know; this might be information I would need at a later date.
After all that was done, I was relieved to be relieved of some of the formal regalia for a bit. It was pretty, sure, but also very heavy. And sometimes quite hot. It was then time for lunch, which I had requested be light considering where we were going next.
After a short flight to the next stop, Dynamite Beach, we entered the property. To my amazement, they had rolled out the red carpet, and the media were there to snap pictures and ask questions. They'd even built a separate entrance for us so we wouldn't get hounded by those who had less than noble intentions, so to speak.
I had the good sense to leave all the valuables at home. After changing into a bathing suit and heading out into the sun (one cannot forget their bathing cap, after all), I knew from my recollection of the film what I had to try first.
Whilst Zipp seemed to be doing her best impression of a paddle steamer, and Pipp was streaming on a float, I made my way up to the nearby diving board.
The others figured out what was going on. "Pipp, you may want to put a waterproof cover on your phone."
Pipp nodded. "Gotcha. Guys, I gotta go!"
I bounded forward on the diving board itself, bounded near the end, and then pulled myself into what approximates a cannonball, and waited for the spash.
Water flew everywhere and drenched many things. I floated back to the surface, water collecting in my fur. Not that I cared.
"Been a while since you last did one of those in public," Zipp commented.
"Even Royals need to have fun sometimes," I replied, a smile still lighting up my face. "Pipp? You still have your phone on?"
"I like what you're thinking, mom!" Pipp replied, and she hopped off the float and doggy paddled over.
I drew them together, with my forelegs around their shoulders, and Pipp snapped a picture of us on her phone camera.
I mean, who said a monarch can't get be a normal pony every now and then?
Your Secret Science Conquers Nature's Cruel Laws...
It would appear that Queen Haven allocated one day a week to exercise and ensure she was in good physical condition, at least based on the schedule I found inside a book. I didn't think this was a problem, though. Nothing wrong with being in shape, after all.
The palace was certainly well equipped in that regard, and the amount of walking we did around the city certainly helped to keep the calories off. She certainly took fitness extremely seriously, as the exercise regime would have been punishing for a younger mare.
The plan started with one of the running machines configured to run for a marathon distance. That's 26 miles, by the way, with the machine set to gallop mode. Using a machine set for going at about 20 miles an hour would keep you in shape.
And, of course, it turned out the palace has its own swimming pool. Which is in the basement, presumably to prevent the fumes from the chlorine entering the rest of the building. They'd slightly overdone it that day, though, as there was quite a fog hanging about in the pool. After diving into it to start laps, I had to stop partway through and phone to the engineers to ask them to turn it down, as I was struggling to breathe with all the gas in the air.
After sixty laps, it was time for the last item on the list- the mountain course. For this a doctor linked all sorts of sensors and monitoring gear to my chest as he finished fitting the VR goggles and sensors.
"This particular route simulates the mountain race path around the edge of Zephyr Heights, Your Majesty," he said, consulting his clipboard. "The course is about 15 miles over rough ground, and is quite tough. One last thing to remember; it's not a sprint. This is about endurance, not speed. I was caution against overexerting yourself, considering your prior exercise earlier today."
I nodded. As the course started, I quickly discovered that I would struggle to get up any sort of speed on the path, as the large numbers of boulders in the path and the simulation of reduced oxygen levels was having a partial effect. I'd been wondering how pegasi breathe at these altitudes, and this run seemed to suggest that they naturally have higher capacity lungs to handle the thin air.
I managed to complete the course in about 70 minutes- not great, not terrible, according to the previous chart times I'd apparently recorded. "Still," the doctor said, "that sort of run would have knocked the wind out of most pegasi. You're in exceptionally good shape for your age, Your Majesty."
After that I was feeling pretty exhausted, but the doctor's words were encouraging. I went to have a shower to relax, and then got myself ready for the morning's business. Luckily, there were only two items marked on top of the usual paperwork.
The first saw myself and my guards arriving at a building. It was large and grey, and seemed to mostly be made of concrete and steel based on the exterior. I consulted my city map as best I could through my sunglasses. It seemed we were in the industrial district, an area of the city not really explored in the film or subsequent media. I made my way across the grounds from the transport dock towards the entrance.
A group of soldiers were already waiting there, led by one in another of those strange uniforms which I had seen that Sky Chaser fellow wearing at the parade. He looked a bit older though- judging age was never my strong suit, and with military personnel it's hard to tell anyway, but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say early 50s. Funnily enough, that got me thinking- I'd never actually figured out how old I was. Possibly the first instance of a TF in the entire history of the universe where the subject gets older as a result.
"Your Majesty," the figure said, and bowed. "We have been looking forward to your visit."
"Ah, General Gulfstream," the Colonel said. "Good to see you again."
"And you, Colonel Opwinden," Gulfstream replied. So that was what the Colonel was called. Interesting name.
"What have you to showcase to us today?" I asked, adjusting my sunglasses again to try and balance out the light issues.
"This structure was opened only a few weeks ago by the Duke of Stratusburg," the General explained as he led us in. "It's the ultimate in a military production plant. It is specially designed to cope with the pressures of any defence needs we may have and can handle the construction and testing of any vehicle." He smiled. "Come, Your Majesty. I have wonders to showcase, as a brave new world awaits."
Something about him seemed a bit off, but I chalked it up to a figure eager to gain the sovereign's approval.
Turns out the place was a tank factory. I had only become aware of Zephyr Heights' military power a few days ago, as the film implies the military is incompetent, but the sheer numbers of vehicles inside this structure was remarkable.
Prominent amongst them was a large box with a turret on the top. According to the information I was given, this was a Crusader V, which is the latest in Pegasus tank technology. I'll admit to knowing relatively little about military vehicles, so most of the numbers and terms meant nothing to me. As the vehicle began to roll about the proving grounds, I pulled on the protective earpieces- not because of the noise from the vehicle, but because General Gulfstream was boring us to death.
"And this vehicle contains the latest in shock absorbing armour, combined with digital IFF suite and target tracking. This machine can operate in the middle of a hurricane and still be able to complete its mission. Furthermore, night vision and infrared equipment allows it to track targets through any environments."
I nodded. "How very interesting."
He nodded. "Your Majesty, there is a space in the gunner's position if you'd like to take a ride."
I laughed. "It's probably best I don't. A run over that would probably shake my skeleton to pieces!"
Most of the party laughed at that. Having said that, the live fire demonstration was interesting, if only to reveal how much firepower these machines had.
The next item on the list interested me. It was simply marked 'spa with Pipp'. I queried this with her. "Pipp, this is probably just my hoofwriting not being easy to read, but what does 'spa with Pipp' mean?"
Pipp smiled. "Mom, don't you remember? We go to the spa every week! Great way of getting the knots out of the mane, amiright?"
Well, that's another mystery cleaned up. At the spa, another great mystery was resolved. Bronies- people who are fans of ponies such as us- often wonder how I manage to maintain my simply marvellous appearance.
It turns out the answer is not Botox injections, as they thought. As both myself and Pipp relaxed, trying to clear our minds of whatever had been happening that day (and trust me, there was a lot to clear- that demonstration had been noisy), it turns out the answer to my apparent eternal youth is a decent helping of moisturiser and some other things that I don't really know the name of.
Even if I don't fully understand how it works, it was incredibly relaxing nontheless. I emerged feeling very refreshed and ready for the rest of the week. They even offered to restyle my mane, which I politely declined as I'd already had it done. They did get my tail back in order though, which was nice- you try lying down with a tail brace on.
I returned to the Palace after that, as we had a lot to do in preparation for next week. I had heard Pipp was writing a new song for the Royal Celebration next week, and I had some more papers to sign. I was a little surprised, given I had been told by one of my advisors that Parliament was in recess for the week. I could only assume I was clearing the leftover backlog of legislation from the most recent section.
I had succeeded in clearing most of it when the dinner bell rang, and after dinner was concluded (it seemed as though Pipp and Zipp had had similarly action packed days), I returned to do some more. I was not knocking off until that stack was finished, even if it meant staying up incredibly late.
Luckily, it didn't. I was glancing through my list, ensuring I hadn't missed anything, when suddenly my phone buzzed. I picked it up and saw the message was from Pipp. I swiped the button to the left and held it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Is your camera set correctly? All I can see is darkness," came the reply.
I glanced at the device, and then realised it was a video call. "Ah, sorry Pipp. I didn't realise it was a video call."
"No worries," Pipp replied. "My song's ready, if you want to hear it."
I beamed. "Of course! I'll get down to the throne room as quickly as possible."
After a few minutes journey I entered the throne room and took the position of a crowd member to watch proceedings. I knew there'd be a full dress rehearsal later on, but for now it would be interesting to see what Pipp had planned for her performance.
Whilst waiting, I checked everything else was in order. Many members of the household staff were busy shutting curtains to stop light getting in. After all, the environment would be rather different at night, after all. I glanced over to the side, to see a technician stepping into an enclosed space. He glanced back out. "Safety checks!" he called.
"Cables, check!" called a voice.
"Lights, check!" called another.
"Whinch, check!" called a third voice.
"Electrical systems, check!" said a fourth.
"Control surfaces, check!" came the final voice.
There was some brief clicking, and then the lights started to dim. The first technician spoke again. "We are go for launch. Initiating test run."
The backing beat came in as lights began to flicker upwards to reveal Pipp being lowered in. Two dummies had been attached to the other cable rigs in order to simulate both myself and Zipp. It was quite impressive how they'd thought ahead on that one.
It was then, after a short pause, that Pipp began her routine. As she soared through the room, cheerfully floating back and forth as if airborne (which I suppose she technically was) it occurred to me that the number of people required to maintain this charade was quite a lot. I mean, the staff who operated the equipment had to be kept quiet, as did the security forces, who presumably knew the truth. This raised the obvious question- who didn't know what was going on, and could I trust them?
I dismissed the temporary guilt I was feeling as Pipp finished and touched down. "How was that, mom?" she asked, as the lights shifted back to normal.
I applauded. "Marvellous, dear! I have two suggestions, however, and that includes to the technicians as well, so if you wouldn't mind gathering around that would be excellent."
The entire crew assembled down below and trotted over, intent to hear what I had to suggest.
"Firstly, Pipp, excellent song. I see your songwriting skills are still in order. However, I would suggest slowing the tempo a little, as it's a bit fast right now."
Pipp nodded. "Slow the tempo a bit," she noted, writing this down. "I'll ask the staff to slow the recording slightly without shifting the pitch."
"I'd also suggest making some changes to the lighting. Whilst the use of greens and blues was stunning, it also meant the cable harness was visible at points. Possibly shift the light balance to make it less obvious? If the truth were to come out it would be rather inconvenient, what?"
The staff nodded, and adjusted the light balance to test the effect. "That seems to work better," said one of them, and I have to say I agreed. The harness was now very hard to spot.
After returning to my chambers for the evening to clean up any remaining tasks, I suddenly noticed something on the wall that I hadn't before. There was a photograph that was slightly in the wrong position, and looked crooked. I trotted over to it and shifted it back, before stopping to really take in what was in the picture.
The image was faded, but clearly showed myself, a stallion, and Pipp and Zipp out in public. Quite apart from the stallion, what stood out most to me was how happy everypony looked to be in each other's company. Although my eyes were briefly drawn to the sign in the background of the shot, which notably had the word 'diner' spelled incorrectly (it's d-i-n-er, not d-i-n-a-h), I soon focused on the important bit of the image.
I could only assume the stallion was Queen Haven's husband. As I examined the hanging closer, I spotted something interesting. There was what looked to be a vault behind it. I removed the picture and took a look at the vault, which although it had a lock seemed to be open.
After a few attempts I got the door to open, and I looked at the contents inside. It was packed to the brim with papers and objects that were presumably meant to be hidden from the public. I took them out and put them on the desk to look through them.
What I learned was stunning, and quite sad at the same time. Queen Haven had indeed been married once, to a stallion called Golden Skies. He had been on his way to an opening of some sort out on the edges of Pegasus territory when his chopper had gone missing. Chopper is another word for helicopter, in case you didn't know.
I continued to glance through the papers. One of them was a newspaper, with the headline PRINCE SUSPECTED DEAD- QUEEN REFUSES TO GIVE UP HOPE.
So, based on all of this, he was never officially declared dead, and Haven had been maintaing hope that he would return someday. I moved the newspaper to one side, and what I found underneath that nearly broke me.
Underneath the newspaper was a stack of letters. There was one for every month of the year, and based on the pile it went back 10 years. I gave one of them a quick read, which consisted of Haven updating Skies on what was happening with their foals and how life was going for them.
In an effort to cope with the grief, she had written to him for 10 entire years. She had been filling him in to ensure he knew what was going on. Well, this certainly explained a lot about her behaviour in the film.
As I looked over this, I was suddenly overcome by a wave of emotion, but managed to compose myself. "Take it easy," I said to myself. "This is just somepony else's things. Not yours."
I was trying to distance myself from this, but it seemed very difficult as I could relate to this surprisingly well. I remained there a few moments whilst trying to decide what course of action to take.
Later that night, I had retired to bed, and seemed to be sleeping surprisingly well considering the events of the previous day. Then suddenly, I was awoken in the night! Sirens were blaring throughout the palace, and I fell out of bed as I tried to get up.
"INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT. ALL ASSETS MOVE TO CAPTURE AND DETAIN INTRUDER. INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT. ALL ASSETS MOVE TO CAPTURE AND DETAIN INTRUDER."
I glanced to my bedside table, and to my horror the crown was missing! "Thief!" I said, and dashed out of the door, kicking it open. Several guards met me at that moment. "Guards! Intercept them immediately! She stole the crown!"
The figure in black vanished down the corridor, and I charged after them down the corridor. Trying to keep pace with the criminal was proving to be harder than I'd thought, so I had to pick up the pace. Even with my level of physical fitness this was proving to be hard work. Clearly age was beginning to catch up with me.
Guards were pouring into the building at speed, covering every conceivable angle. I was soon joined by several more soldiers, who had also been wakened by the commotion. We sped down corridors and soon found ourselves in the main cable room, where Colonel Opwinden and his men soon had the thief cornered.
"Come with us quietly and there won't be any trouble," he said.
To my surprise, the intruder then fired some sort of grappling hook which hit the lowering controls for the cables we used for flying in and out of the throne room. "You'll never take me alive, pegasus!" the figure shouted.
I stopped for a second. That voice sounded oddly familiar. Where had I heard it before?
Luckily, the theft was pretty promptly stopped in its tracks. One of the soldiers had spotted a flaw in the thief's plan, and ran over to the control cables. He then flicked the switch back the other way to lift the attacker back up and hold them in place before us. I then notied that Pipp and Zipp had entered just as our intruder was pulled up.
Opwinden had a few words to say to her. "You, miss, are in a lot of trouble tonight," he said. "Haul her in."
As the attacker was pulled in, I saw the crown in a bag on the pony's back. As they were winched to a stop, I pulled it out and placed it atop my head. "Mine," I said, glaring at the intruder, flaring my wings as I did so. I had noticed pegasi did this when annoyed, and used it to indicate my displeasure. "We shall deal with you in the morning. In the meantime, place her in the cells. Colonel Opwinden, see to it that this is done."
"Yes, Your Majesty," Opwinden replied, and led the intruder off. In the meantime, I turned to the others. "All of you, return to your posts."
The remaining guards filed out as I turned to Pipp and Zipp. "As for us, we'd best be getting off to bed. We'll have a long session of questioning ahead, I suspect. Ensure you are well-rested and get a good night's sleep."
The next morning, I convened the court early, and instructed Pipp and Zipp to be there as well. The entire court was already assembled as we flew into the chamber and took our seats on our thrones.
"Guards, we have the prisoner to attend to," I said, as I adjusted my sunglasses to minimise the effect of the sun. "Remove her goggles so we can get a better look at her."
Thunder nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty," he said, and removed the goggles. This allowed us to get a proper look at the thief from last night.
She was a turquoise blue unicorn with a wavy mane, seemingly made of dreadlocks. Misty Brightdawn? I thought to myself. What's she doing here? She isn't meant to make her debut until after the magic has been restored!
"What is wrong with her face?" asked the Viscount of Ghastly Gorge. "She has something on her forehead!"
I feigned surprise as best I could. "A unicorn? Here? In the Palace?" I glanced to the Colonel in surprise. "How did she get in? How did she bypass security?"
The Colonel looked most embarrassed. I could tell this incident was weighing heavily on his mind. "My team are still trying to establish how she bypassed security, Your Majesty. Please accept my apology for this most severe of slip-ups."
I had to find out why Misty was here without attracting suspicion. "What are you doing here? Who sent you? Clearly it is somebody who wants to attack us!"
Misty began to speak, but was interrupted by a guard. "Let her reply," I said. "Zephyrina, ensure that the equipment in the cells is in order. Pipp, I want you to monitor communications. No news of this must get out, understand?"
As Zipp left and Pipp began to monitor communications channels, Misty began to speak again. "I come with news of a dire warning. Opaline, the one who lives far from here, comes with a warning of a grave threat. The One with the Stripes is here, and I don't know much about him but apparently he is a problem."
"What are you talking about?" asked a Duke. "Who is this one with the stripes?"
That was my question as well, but her method of getting the message to us was unorthodox to say the least. "So you came in to steal the crown so you could give a warning? I suspect there's more to this situation than meets the eye. Move her to the holding cell until we can interrogate her properly. In the meantime, I want the city on maximum alert. Nothing can be permitted to go wrong, not least with the second stage of the Jubilee beginning next week."
As the troops led Misty away, I gave the signal to fly out, and we were lifted out of the chamber. This whole situation had me worried. If Misty was here this early, what else would change around here?
Once I had returned to the throne room, I knew the first point of order was to try to deal with this first problem. The fact that a thief had been able to break into the Royal Apartments so easily and take the crown strongly suggested a severe security failing on our part. This, of course, needed rectifying, so it seemed sensible to do the next best thing as a safety precaution. As I entered my State Room, I glanced to the left and to the bedside table where I had previously left the crown. Admittedly that wasn't the most secure option available to me.
This needed to be resolved, so the next thing to do was to find the telephone. Luckily, there was one sitting on my desk. For some reason it looked rather antique. It was rather like an old telephone you see in black and white films, with the enormous hoofset and a series of dials you turn to select the number. I went over to it and began to check for a phone book.
I flipped through the pages as quickly as I could, keen to find the number in question. After a few minutes of looking I finally found it- Crystal Wonder, Jewellers Royal. I can only assume I had given them a royal patronage at some point before I arrived in this world. Or rather, whomever was Queen Haven before me did. That was a strange sentence.
I dialled the number and waited for it to connect. After a few moments, it did.
"Crystal Wonder, Jewellers Royal. How can I help you today?"
I waited a moment. "Hello. This is the Queen speaking-"
"Your Majesty!" said the voice on the other end, sounding quite surprised. "It is quite the honour. What services do you require of us today?"
I paused for another moment before continuing. "I would like to request some jewellery to be forged. I understand you can make replicas of existing objects?"
"That is amongst the many services we can provide, Your Majesty," said the pony on the other end, who also had an accent I couldn't really place. "Just say the word and it shall be done."
"In which case I would like a replica of the crown made. The State Crown, the one with the crystal in it, rather than any other one."
Now it was time for the other pony on the line to pause. "Consider it done, Your Majesty. We shall get to work on it tout de suite! We shall notify you when the crown is completed and ready for collection."
"Excellent," I replied. "I look forward to seeing it. See you then."
"Of course, Your Majesty. Vivat Regina Haven!"
I placed the receiver down, noting in my mind I had no idea what that meant. I hadn't taken Latin at school, and as a result translating it in my mind was an impossibility. I had to decide what the best course of action from here was otherwise.
The break in brought with it other problems. Amongst these problems was the fact it exposed a distinct flaw in our security arrangements. Misty had somehow managed to sneak into the palace completely undetected despite having night patrols and guards on the door of both my own and my daughter's bedrooms. Clearly something wasn't being done right, but as I had little knowledge of military or protection things I left it up to the Colonel to sort out.
Speaking of the Colonel, it was clear this incident had shaken him somewhat and left him profoundly embarrassed. He certainly took his duties seriously based on the apologies he sent me. Not only that, quite a lot of paperwork that he had sent landed on my desk on top of all the other things I needed to deal with.
So it was back to the daily ritual of wading through massive amounts of paper. It seemed that with the holiday coming up Parliament was trying to rush as much legislation through as was possible. This contributed to the enormous stack on my in tray, which was soon leaving my hoof sore. Luckily, a servant came and delivered me the automatic signing machine I had ordered, alongside some tea. That helped perk me up before lunch.
After this, I began to decide on other security policies on top of the ones that were officially in place. The fact that the crown had been right in view of our intended thief was an obvious lapse in judgement on my part. There was a vault in the room, but it was here, you see, I had crafted a cunning plan.
Psychology dictates that ponies will assume the valuable thing is in the safe and that less valuable ones are not. This I could use to my advantage.
My bright idea was to put a fake crown in the safe and keep the real one out. That way when the thief got home all they had was a reproduction to look at, with considerably reduced financial value. The other part of the strategy concerned myself.
If the crown remained on my head, it would be considerably harder to take as I would notice it being taken; after all, a metal object is fairly noticable even on top of a mane as fabulous as mine. And so the plan was set. At all times of the day during this time from now onwards, I wouldn't take it off.
Except when showering or swimming, of course. I would hardly want the metal to go rusty, after all. I sat back in my chair and pondered over what this could mean. Misty being around well ahead of schedule strongly suggested that something serious was brewing in the region, and that somepony was responsible for it.
I know. Captain Obvious statement. But taking my time to figure this out would take far too long. I could only hope that nothing else would go wrong either today or this week, as that would be most awkward.
Clearly hope is a fool's errand.
No sooner had I finished for lunch then suddenly the intercom buzzed on my desk. I went over and turned it on. "Report," I said.
"Your Majesty," said the voice. It was the Colonel. "I request both your presence and the presence of the Court for a most serious matter. There is a security matter that needs discussing, as it concerns a rather concerning development."
"I understand," I replied. I quickly checked my documents to see who was around. Unfortunately, almost everypony was busy. Only Pipp and Zipp were around. "It shall be myself and the Princesses. Transmit a message over the loudspeakers to tell them to repot to the Royal Chambers."
"Yes, Your Majesty," the Colonel replied. "I shall not let you down again."
I glanced about as a message began to play over the palace loudspeakers. "Could Princesses Pipp Petals and Zephyrina Storm report to the Royal Chambers immediately. Repeat, could Princesses Pipp Petals and Zephyrina Storm report to the Royal Chambers immediately!"
I made my way to the cable room as swiftly as I could, suspecting that whatever we encountered in the region would be looked at in the Throne Room. This seemed to be where most things are looked at around here.
It wasn't long before Pipp and Zipp arrived. Zipp seemed relatively normal, but Pipp was wearing a pair of sunglasses that meant she was constantly bumping into things. Those things clearly aren't intended to be worn in a room where there is no natural light such as the cable room. After all, no natural light makes the cables harder to spot.
"What's the problem, mom?" Zipp asked, before glancing over to her sister. "Pipp! Take those off!"
Pipp pouted. "Fiiiiiine." She removed them, and then placed them under her wings. "Honestly, Zipp. They're a fashion accessory."
"And completely useless indoors," Zipp added.
I interjected to avoid this devolving into a pointless argument. "Colonel Opwinden requested our precense in the throne room about some security issue." As I spoke the technicians got to work, fitting our bodies with harnesses and cables ready to be dropped into the throne room. Another day of maintaining this hideous farce, I guess. "I'm not sure exactly what he means, but I hardly imagine it's anything serious." I spotted Zipp trying not to laugh. In what way was that funny?
"However," I continued, " I want both of you on your best behaviour. That means no pouting, Zephyrina, and no random musical interludes, Pipp. Understood?"
Both of them nodded at me in perfect sync, which was midly creepy. "Yes mom," they both said, again in perfect sync. They then looked at one another, baffled at what had just happened.
"Good," I said, as I made my way over to the control panel which housed the radio unit. I set the setting to the lower winding control house. "We are ready for launch."
"Copy that, Your Majesty. You should feel the winding gear taking up the slack now."
As we were dropped into the chamber, I wondered what could be awaiting us.
As we were being lowered down into the Throne Room, there seemed to be some tension in the air. I couldn't quite put my hoof on precisely what was causing it, but I knew it had to be serious based on the number of soldiers in the room. I glanced left and right as we dropped down into the central chamber. Pipp was on her phone and Zipp looked a little nervous. I would later find out why, but that's not important right now. We touched down, and I checked my sunglasses.
Did I mention I had put sunglasses on before we had been lowered in? I sometimes use them to protect my eyes from the glare in the windows. They're very useful in that regard.
I spoke up to address our security personnel. "Guards, state your business," I said. "Pipp needs to rehearse, Cloudpuff here needs his bubble bath, and I need to practice my laugh." I then tried what sounded like a regal laugh, but the result was not up to scratch to say the least. "Still needs some work."
Zoom was the first guard to respond. "Your Highness-"
Oh dear. They were all doing so well. "Your Majesty," I corrected. "Ruling monarch is Your Majesty, anypony else is Your Highness."
Zoom looked a bit awkward, and bowed her head. "My apologies, Your Majesty. Slip of the tongue. But we apprehended these two outside the city."
I looked in the general direction of where she was pointing... and in that moment I knew precisely when I was. Held between several groups of soldiers were Sunny Starscout and Izzy Moonbow! On the one hoof, this meant that things had returned to the established course of the film's narrative. On the other hoof, I was rather worried, as it meant that we could have further problems on the way. Most important of all, I had to hide the fact I recognised the pair from the rest of those there.
As I adjusted my sunglasses, the perfect opportunity presented itself. I proceeded to inhale an incredible amount of air in the form of a gasp. "What in Faust's name?" I asked, trying my best to feign surprise and shock. "A unicorn, and an earth pony, in Zephyr Heights?" I topped it off with a sudden increase in volume. "Why are you here? Who sent you?"
Thunder spoke up next, the first words he had said the entire time. "We've got them both under control, Your Majesty. We fitted the shield, and this Earth Pony won't think to attack. Their capacity for logical thought is exceedingly limited."
I have to admit that hearing the directed bigotry being spoken out loud was still a shock, as much as I was aware it was always there. And that's coming from the mouth of a person who ended up as a pony who starts the film a bigot.
It took me a few seconds to come up with a response, trying to stick as closely to the script as I could in order to avoid suspicion. "Is this some sort of prelude to war? Or an invitation to dialogue? Nopony must know we have them here!"
Suddenly, Pipp spoke up. "Check it out, guys! Something that hasn't been seen in millenia!" I turned my head to see that Pipp had turned her phone to point at them, using the external camera to record the pair before us. And this was the exact opposite of what I had wanted.
I had to stop the broadcast to prevent hysteria, but at the same time had to hide my tech literacy. My solution was to make my way over to her and pull the phone out of her hooves and then hold it upside down. On purpose.
I addressed her followers on the stream she had started. "There's nothing to fear," I said. "They are under the custody of the army. We will protect you." I then tossed the phone back to Pipp. "Shut it off."
As I made my way back to my personal throne, Sunny spoke up for the first time the entire conversation. "Your Majesty, I have a few questions-"
As much as I wanted to answer them and get the ball rolling on solving this mess, I knew that doing so would look very suspicious. Instead I chose to take the safest path and continue following the script.
I swung back around and flared my wings out, shifting my face into the best approximation of anger that I could. "I'll be the one asking questions, not you," I said, and then looked to the security forces. "Process them to the holding cells until Military Intelligence can question them. And confiscate the book!"
A guard stomped over and took Sunny's book whilst I gave the order to be lifted back into the cable room. I could hear Sunny pleading for the book to be given back. I felt for the poor dear, I really did. But I could hardly afford to blow my cover.
As technicians disconnected the cables and harnesses from our bodies, I decided a joke would be the best way to ease the tension. "Well, that was rather a shock to the system. Fancy that! First one unicorn, then several ponies! It seems the other races are like buses- they all turn up at once!"
I saw Pipp and Zipp laughing even though the joke wasn't hugely funny. Zipp then spoke. "Mom, I could interrogate the prisoners for you. Being questioned by a soldier isn't always something that makes a pony open up, but a civilian like myself might be able to get some info out of them."
That was certainly an interesting prospect. "Well, if you're sure," I said. "But I'll have soldiers on standby round the corner to ensure you are safe. If they give you trouble, call for them. Understand?" We must always take precautions, after all.
Zipp nodded, and then headed off down the corridor. I, on the other hand, had work to do.
No sooner had I arrived in my office then there was a knock on the door. "Enter!" I said.
I turned to see General Gulfstream there. "Good morning, Your Majesty," he said. "I have a matter of grave importance to bring to your attention."
"State your business."
The General nodded. "The Earth Ponies are re-arming. Our spies have reported that large numbers of armoured vehicles and weapons are being made in their factories, and furthermore they are conducting large scale military exercises within their territory. And now that Earth Pony turns up- I am convinced she is a spy, probing our defences in anticipation of a large scale offensive. I strongly advise we execute her."
I blinked. Time to use some of the knowledge I'd picked up over my days in court. "That would be a bad idea for a number of reasons. Firstly, the death penalty was abolished in the Pegasus Empire centuries ago. Second, we have no proof that the Earth Pony is a spy. She may be an ambassador for the USEA, for all we know, and this may be a peaceful visit. If we were to kill her it would reflect badly on us- after all, countries rarely take kindly to their ambassadors being killed. And third, the Earth Ponies may be preparing to fight the Unicorns. Surely a military leader such as yourself can see that these two groups potentially wiping each other out benefits us?"
I felt awful saying that, but I had to appeal to him in order to stop him from doing something idiotic.
Gulfstream nodded. "Very well. But surely an increase in the military budget would do us well?"
I sighed internally. "That will be all."
"But, Your Majesty, surely you understand that we must be sa-"
"I said that will be all!" I said, much louder, flaring my wings as I did so to make my point.
Gulfstream looked noticably cowed, and backed away. "Yes, Your Majesty." He then left.
I sat down. "Some ponies can't take a hint." As much as Gulfstream seemed to be a jingoistic fool, I knew even he wouldn't disobey a direct order from me.
Later on, I started work on the speech I was due to deliver on the day of the Royal Celebration (which ended with the Party at the Palace). This was not easy, though, and figuring out what to say was pretty difficult. Not least as I lacked most of Haven's memories despite looking like her.
I had been working on it for what felt like some time when I suddenly heard a knock at the door. Clearly it was somebody important as the guards let them in. "Enter!"
I continued working on the speech as they walked in. "On this suspicious day- doesn't sound right."
"Auspicious?" the figure ventured. I glanced up from my notes and saw Zipp standing there.
I made the change in the notes. "Thank you, dear. How did the interrogation go?"
Zipp smiled. "Smoothly. They're not armed, and not a danger to us. I think an act of kindness towards them would help them to open up. As you know, the other races don't exactly like us, and accuse us of thinking we're better than them. Melting the ice could work wonders."
Of course, I already knew all of this, having seen the film. But I could hardly say that. "That seems like a reasonable proposition," I said. "But on the one condition this never becomes public knowledge. The publicist told me Pipp's broadcast nearly caused mass hysteria, and I'd rather not repeat that."
Zipp nodded. "That's fine by me."
Once she had left, I used the internal phone lines to contact the kitchens. Tonight was the time for something rather special.
I'll certainly say I think the serving staff outdid themselves that night.
In order to showcase true Pegasus hospitality, I had decided to organise something that the Royal Family does exceptionally well- a state banquet. Virtually every head of state worth their salt has the capabilities to marshall resources for a truly splendid event together, and I was determined to ensure that tonight's proceedings were simply as splendid as possible.
Whilst the kitchens were preparing all the dishes (and those concerned had decided on the menu), I went for further preparation and fitting, whilst Pipp and Zipp were sent to do the same. Though in a separate room, of course. It would hardly do to have all of it happening in the same room at once. This consisted of having my mane and tail adjusted to check for any stray hairs or any other faults in my appearance, and the acquisition of different other items. Medals were removed from boxes and polished until you could see your face in them, and ribbons were checked and ensured to be the correct colour. The standard colour in use for this sort of thing is red, by the way. A firm, solid colour. It goes surprisingly well with blue, I find, which you may not expect.
What then came next was an element I had a small bit of apprehension about. Having once been a human, I wasn't too sure on how pony clothes worked. I had noticed the dress code, so this meant I would be wearing a garment I had no familiarity with.
A dress.
The resulting gown was a blue number which kept my front legs free from entanglement and ensured I could walk properly. A small metal frame was attached to the back of my body to hold the skirt of the dress up and prevent my hooves from getting caught on the resulting fabric. This was also why the tail brace was important on my person, or pony I guess- it helped hold the skirt in the correct place and prevent the entire structure from falling down at an awkward moment. We wouldn't want that, would we?
I quickly checked everything was in order with the gown. "This feels excellent," I said, partly my honest opinion on wearing something like this for the first time. Whomever would have guessed the first ever time I wore a dress would be as a pony, eh?
Now all that was done, the various medals were fitted to the front. We receive medals through being members of the Royal Family, and Pipp and Zipp also wear regimental medals as part of their status of Honorary Colonels of various regiments. It does result in us wearing rather a lot of metal, but the weight isn't too bad once you get used to it.
I made my way back through the corridors to where the stylist was based (and where this journey had started about an hour ago). As I walked through the corridors to my destination, Pipp and Zipp suddenly emerged from the door to the stylist and stopped to look at me. They seemed a little confused.
I, on the other hand, could see that the stylist had managed to do an excellent job of styling their manes and tails, as I expected. "Ah!" I said. "You two are looking excellent! Remember to thank the stylists."
Zipp looked more confused than appreciative. In fairness I hadn't filled her in properly on my plan. "What's going on?" Zipp asked. "And why are we being decked out in... well, all that?"
On reflection it probably would have been a good idea to tell her what was going on, but in the heat of the moment I had forgotten to do so. Now was the chance to correct that error. "You suggested an act of kindness towards them, yes?" I asked, more rhetorically than anything else. I've organised a special banquet for them, which will allow us to break the ice and introduce them to pegasus customs. Not to mention it allows us to showcase how splendid the palace can be!"
I'd already secured the use of one of the dining rooms as our primary place for hosting the banquet, which seemed to work fine with the others. I glanced at them again. "You'd best be going for gown fitting. We must look our best, after all."
Pipp and Zipp nodded, and set off down the hallway at speed. Their conversation was imperceptible to my ear thanks to all the metal clanking about on my chest, but it seemed to be about tonight. Hopefully they'd be on their best behaviour. We could ill afford a repeat of what had happened a few hours ago, after all. The last thing I wanted was the populace in a state of panic.
One of the benefits of formal events is it allows you to gauge the personalities of the people you are eating with. This can be based on a number of different factors. These include personal interests, the manner in which they speak, or simply the way in which they eat, which can tell you a remarkable amount about how they are feeling at the moment.
Take the blue unicorn seated further down the table, as an example. I could only assume the poor dear hadn't had anything to eat in a very long time based on the speed she was putting the food away. When she mixed it with water, it was like watching a cement mixer at a building site. I must admit it was both equally fascinating to watch and revolting to behold, but I could hardly express either sentiment as it would have been rather rude to do so.
"Somepony's hungry," I said, trying to jokingly make light of the situation.
"Am I doing something wrong?" Misty asked. She seemed legitimately confused at what she was doing wrong, suggesting she wasn't used to eating in polite company.
"Slow down a bit!" Pipp said. "It's not going to run away from you!"
"Besides, you'll give yourself horrible indigestion," I added, speaking directly from personal experience. Part of the point of having a drink to go with a meal is to help wash it down. "Eat fine food like you would drink a wine- slowly, and savour it."
"I'm not really an expert on alcohol," Misty admitted. Truth be told I wasn't one either, but I went along with whatever suggestions the staff had.
I noticed Zipp glance over to Sunny. "Good thing we watered the wine down," she commented. She really isn't as good at whispering as she seems to think she is, as I could clearly hear what was said. Having said that, being drunk wouldn't have helped anypony that night.
I was about to make such a remark, but Pipp beat me to it. "Well, duh! It would be pretty pointless all of us getting drunk!"
None of us were going to argue with that. The evening continued through various courses of local delicacies (although the crab was apparently imported- Zephyr Heights is a considerable distance from the coast, after all).
The meal had served its primary purpose of breaking down barriers, however. I could tell from speaking to the others that they were not a threat, so to this end I turned to the group as the meal concluded. "I hope you all enjoyed that," I said.
"Sure!" Sunny smiled. "The food was great, Your Majesty."
"I hastily benediction for your most excellent for mercies, Your Spendiforousness," Izzy added.
"What?" I asked.
"She's like this, mom," Zipp explained. "Seems like it's a character quirk of hers that she has. Sometimes uses lots of big words in not entirely logical ways.
"So she's a hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophile?" I ventured.
Pipp's jaw dropped. "What does that mean?"
"A pony who loves long words," I replied. "Anyway. I am happy to say that none of you appear to be a threat, and as such you are hereby released from the cell."
"Hooray!" Misty said suddenly.
I looked to them sternly, though. "However, don't think you can just freely wander about. You are to remain on the palace grounds, although you can explore the palace gardens and the main building itself as you see fit. You are not, however, permitted to leave the palace grounds and go into the city. After all, your unexpected appearance on state media caused quite the panic. This restriction is mainly for your own safety, so it is in your best interests to follow it."
Not to mention it made keeping an eye on them a lot easier if there was a serious limit as to where they could go. This worked well for me, and as the others acknowledged this arrangement, happy to get a bit more room to walk about in, we retired to one of the drawing rooms for cheese and biscuits. It seemed that all was now well and peaceful in Zephyr Heights.
Unfortunately, this would soon prove to not be the case.
Clearly my hopes for a quiet morning were not entirely reasonable in the uncaring eyes of the universe.
I had an absolute mountain of the stuff to deal with once again. Parliament was already on recess for the upcoming holiday, so I have no idea how more was coming in. I could only assume another backlog had hit that needed my signature. So I just kept going, trying to speed up the process by both signing documents and using the automatic signature machine to sign some of them for me.
It certainly reduced the workflow, seeing as my signature was simply a formality. The process was clearly just in existance to keep the monarch relevant, as after all the Prime Minister and Parliament run the country on my behalf. Powers which are technically mine are delegated to them and other elected officials. So it seems that going on visits to other places and finding convenient trade deals is where I fit in.
I kept on working, though. The sun was at least welcoming, and the serving staff brought me my morning tea, which I certainly appreciated. I made sure to thank them for it, which it seems surprised them a little. Of course a monarch should know who her serving staff are! I, after all, rule on their behalf. I serve the people, and they are the people, so it makes sense I should show some care towards their own lives.
After refreshing tea (chamomile blend is my favourite- and the version which comes from the Bridlewood forests is especially refreshing in that regard), my telephone suddenly buzzed. I saw that it was a call from Crystal Wonder, Jewellers Royal, so answered it.
"Hello?"
"Greetings, Your Majesty. I am happy to inform you that the crown you ordered is ready. You may come and collect it whenever you are ready."
I smiled. "That's marvellous! I shall be down to collect it soon. In the meantime, can it be held for a bit?"
"Of course, Your Majesty! It is by your grace that our country continues to prosper."
I must admit I often found it hard to tell if the admiration for the Monarchy was genuine or ironic based on the tone of voice. Nontheless, I decided to focus on the matter at hand. "Thank you. In the meantime I'd best be getting back to work! Paperwork isn't going to do itself!"
"Understood, Your Majesty. We look forward to your visit."
I placed the receiver down and went to check my paperwork again. The stack was now substancially smaller, and the machine I had had helped to speed the process up somewhat, but the sooner I got this lot done the better. I set back to it, quickly filling out form after form after sheet after sign here space. I have no clue how the ponies who preceeded me did any of this without their hooves falling off. But eventually, the paperwork was completed, and I was free to go and pick up the crown from the jewellers.
If a member of the Royal Family wishes to travel incognito, they must first adopt a disguise. This prevents one from being constantly stopped for photos or otherwise ending up in unwanted situations. I went into town wearing my very best disguise- at least according to my notes it was my best. I really had no way of verifying.
I wore a shawl to disguise my mane and also wore a pair of cheap sunglasses (not the superb pairs that come from Hoofingtons- those would have been far too obvious) that would disguise my eyes. Otherwise, I didn't need to put a huge amount on- although hiding my Cutie Mark took a fair bit of work.
I then made my way down on the elevator into the city below, and then trotted through the streets, observing the ponies going about their business. Zephyr Heights was a magnificent bustling metropolis, filled with ponies and full of life. It may just be pegasus bias speaking here, but I truly believe we pegasi have the highest standards of living of any of the tribes. Look at all the shopping opportunities out there!
I finally arrived at Crystal Wonder, Jewellers Royal after about a thirty minute walk. The store was pretty palatial inside, and above the door sat the official seal of the Royal Family- or more specifically mine, with the words Portus Vult being a part of it. I still have no idea what that means.
Luckily, I had agreed to a codephrase with the staff so I wouldn't end up looking a complete prat. I stopped by the desk and the staff member looked. "Good afternoon, madame," he said. "How may I help you today?"
I looked up. "The night is not so dark there will be no coming of the light."
Thankfully, the staff member recognised it almost immediately. "But a long night it still shall be." He fished about behind the counter for a few moments, and then dug out a bag before handing it to me. "One replica crown, completely indistinguishable from the real thing, as you ordered."
"Thank you," I replied, deciding on a logical reason for asking for this. "As you can probably guess I am a great fan of Her Majesty, so having this on my mantelpiece will be superb."
The staff member serving me nodded. "Of course, madame. If I had a penny for each replica crown we've had ordered, I'd have two pennies. That isn't a lot, but it's strange that it's happened twice in one week."
That attracted my attention pretty promptly. It seemed that somehow somepony had ordered more than one crown around this time. This might not be too much of a surprise, seeing as presumably replicas of royal items are pretty popular- apparently a lot of dressmakers still get asked to make replicas of my wedding dress- but I still noted it internally nontheless.
After a long trip back home, I finally arrived back at the palace with nopony recognising me. I popped back to my stateroom to try it on, and I'm pleased to report it fitted perfectly. The staff certainly deserve their Jewellers Royal status!
Later on, I popped open a window in a portion of the palace that overlooked the gardens. The gardens are a wonderfully peaceful place to go, a wonderful labyrinth to get lost in if you know what I mean.
I then realised I still needed to talk to the gardener about putting some new plants in, so I closed the window and headed into the garden proper. I looked about for somepony to talk to, and eventually found myself walking through the grotto. This was a nice place to get away from the struggles of being Queen. It is not an easy life by any definition. I listened closely to the rushing waterfalls and the magical sound of plants rustling in the distance. As said before this is a stunningly beautiful place, one based on photos where Pipp and Zipp loved to play when they were fillies. I don't know so much about now, but I could easily see them engaging in that sort of thing again if given the chance.
I was still trotting along when I suddenly heard two voices nearby. I stopped and peered out from behind a rock to see a remarkable sight.
Pipp and Misty were together, sitting down and looking over the landscape before them. Admittedly it was a bit hard to tell what they were saying, but it seemed to be positive, reassuring words.
Misty seemed to still be shaking a bit, implying tears, but I continued watching regardless. I didn't want to intervene in what could be something very personal. But then something truly beautiful hit my eardrums.
""You hear that sound? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!"
Now I can only wonder who was playing the piano that was playing the extra notes in the distance. It can't have been Zipp as she's not a qualified pianist, and it's not the kapellmeister as he was leading the Zephyr Heights symphony orchestra at the Rainbow Falls Music Contest.
"The melody that's ringing out? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!"
Pipp truly does have a remarkable singing voice. She gets it from me, you know.
"A special tune that keeps you true/ Your voice that speaks when no one sees! So listen close, keep holding true/ And sing the song that makes you/ Ooh-ooh-ooh... You!"
Seeing the two just getting along caused me to have a rather profound realisation. If these two could get along without any apparent conflict, this suggested a lot of the nonsense being thrown about was nonsense. And Pipp and Zipp seemed to be the least bigoted ponies in the world.
I'm probably a bit biased, but I couldn't help but feel a lot of shame for what the individual who once had been me had once believed. I committed myself then and there to the goal of bringing this Cold War to an end.
Without getting myself thrown in an asylum, of course.
The day of the Royal Celebration had at last arrived, and truth be told I approached the day with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Nervousness as I would be expected to speak in public (I was yet to try it so I had no clue how well it would go), but on the other hand I knew the sorts of festivities that came with this sort of celebration. I had no doubt that they would be excellent and splendid, but that still meant I had to be cautious and stay on my guard for what was probably coming down the road.
The first task of the day was arguably the most important of all. We proceeded through the palace to find our way to the styling room, where the experts got to work on ensuring that we looked orderly and were presentable. Several hours of various treatments and different body washes later and we were ready to go. This may just be me being biased, but I thought that we looked pretty good.
Zipp didn't seem to share the same sentiment as she removed the last of the cream from her face. "What is this stuff, anyway?" she asked, looking a little annoyed.
"It's supposed to clear wrinkles from the skin and produce a positive shine," Pipp explained.
Zipp facehoofed. "We have fur, Pipp. Nopony's gonna notice. Besides, we get enough stuff shoved in our manes on a daily basis."
"This day will be remembered for all of time, Zipp! Don't you want to look your best?"
Zipp rolled her eyes. "And what bit of this do I want to remember, exactly? What are the public expecting, Strictly Come Prancing?"
"The public," I said, taking charge of the situation, "expect you to do your duty. Which means looking and acting your best during the day's events. You can start by removing that frown from your face."
Zipp complained, though not without protest. That was that stage tackled at the very least, and it would shortly be time to move onwards to the next series of events and special festivities.
After a special state banquet (yes, another one) which had hours of speeches and many, many rounds of applause, we moved onwards to the next big section of the events unfolding that day. As we looked up from the Palace plaza, the whine of engines came in overheard and attracted our attention.
Approaching at speed was the Air Force's aerial display team, which I had subsequently learned were called the Yellowjacks. Before long, the aircraft began looping and diving about, leaving smoke trails and forming shapes with their moves. They formed up above and below one another, turning and spinning like gymnasts in mid flight, whirling in such a manner I was amazed they didn't get dizzy.
Once the series of incredibly elaborate moves was completed, it became clear what had been spelled out before us. The smoke and aircraft spelled out the number 25. Clever, I thought. Formation flying truly is an art.
Evening fell, and preparations began for the main performance of the night. Much of the floor of the Throne Room had already been cleared of objects in order to allow the public to fit in, and height clearances were installed to ensure no objects were present that Pipp could bump into or get the wires snagged on. That would be an awkward end to the night.
Myself, on the other hand, was currently seeing to other security arrangements. Considering the actions taken by Misty a little while back, I suspected that we might need to make some alternate arrangement for the crown, in case anypony else attempted to steal it. It was for this reason I had hatched a cunning plan. A plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.
This consisted of me going into the safe (where all the paperwork was) and putting the first crown into it. Once this task was completed, I then took the other crown that I had had made at the Jewellers and then placed that atop my head. As before it fitted perfectly.
"Let's see any potential thief figure that one out," I said to myself as I locked the safe shut. I have to admit I did feel something slightly odd about the other crown I put into the safe. It somehow didn't feel heavy enough, as if it were made of the wrong materials. Still, it was good enough to fool anypony looking, and the one atop my head was exceedingly convincing, so there was that.
Having finished in the room, I made sure to set things to be well and proper when I got back, and then headed out of the room towards the main corridor. I was checking all around for different events, as the serving staff were once more hard at work. They were busy trimming lights and adjusting the objects in the corridors. I wasn't quite sure why everything was being darkened, but then again this may just be standard convention before concerts. I didn't really have much of a way of knowing the answer to that one.
Once I was finally through the corridors, I had entered the Cable Room and noticed the security guards were in position at either side of the room. "Are you meant to be here?" I asked. "I thought you two were allocated to the bedchambers today."
"Apologies, Your Majesty," said one of them. "We appear to be lost. This way!" The two of them then left and made their way in the direction I had come from. This entire matter just continued to get stranger in my opinion.
I trotted over to the nearby dressing table, which was set up not far from the controls for the cables. I took a look in the mirror and noticed my stage makeup was starting to slip a bit. "Hmm. I could do with touching that up a bit."
Technicians came to fit both me and Zipp with our harnesses and cables whilst I was doing that. I continued to apply stage makeup as Zipp simply looked awkward. To this end I decided to spark up a conversation.
"Pipp told me you've been with the others a lot," I said, making some further adjustments.
Zipp looked at me in surprise. "She told you that?"
"She tells me everything. I wish you would speak with me more." I sighed, as I saw both of us reflected in the mirror. "I won't be here forever, Zephyrina. We need to make the most of the time we have available, and one day you will need to understand your duties. This crown is a lot heavier than it looks."
Zipp looked down in the mirror. "There is something I wanted to talk about," she said, looking like this was rather important and urgent.
I smiled. "See? That's a good start."
Zipp took a deep breath and then began to speak. "The other races don't have magic," she said. "We all lack it. We have to do something or else me may well find oursel-"
That was quite enough of that. I turned around so suddenly that Zipp visibly recoiled in surprise.
"Zephyrina!" I snapped. As I knew from life, full name ultimatums usually had the desired effect. "I don't know what ideas that Earth Pony or those Unicorns have been putting in your head, but you cannot trust a word they say. They could be spies, for all we know. Besides, you have a comfortable life here in Zephyr Heights. Why would you want to risk that?"
I'll admit I'm not quite sure what prompted me to say that apart from the fact a similar sentiment is expressed in the film, but I felt awful almost immediately.
"Because it's a lie!" Zipp retorted. "The populace should know the truth about what's going on."
I sighed. "It keeps the people safe and happy. Sometimes living a happy lie is better than enduring a horrible truth."
What Zipp said next caught me off guard. "Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth, mom. Sooner or later that debt is repaid."
Did she just quote Chernobyl? I thought to myself. If I had needed a clue that something wasn't quite right with Zipp that was it. I tried to counter as best I could. "Don't concern yourself with things that will never happen, Zephyrina."
But it seemed that Zipp had turned the snark machine on as well. "Don't concern yourself with things that will never happen. They should put that on our pound notes."
Just then, Pipp was wheeled in on her cable rig. Curiously, she had been suspended from the cables rather than left on the ground.
I smiled. "Ah, there she is! Your sister understands the importance of maintaining the status quo."
As Pipp performed her vocal exercises to ensure her voice was in tip top condition, I pushed a button on a nearby control panel, which indicated that we were ready to go. "Showtime!"
I felt a familiar pull as the winding gear engaged. Well, here we go. Time for what I thought would be the easiest night of my life.
It all felt so easy and natural now, which was interesting to say given I hadn't been in this new body for an awfully long time and was in, a sense, an imposter. The cables and wires took most of the strain, so all I needed to do was look pleasant and flap my wings a bit. Which was something that was as natural as the sun and moon moving across the sky.
I looked back and forth. Pipp was positively lapping up the spotlight as a loud fanfare was played, and she seemed to be, to use a word that the youngsters are using these days, pumped. The same could not be said of Zipp, who looked a bit sulky. No doubt she was pouting from being told off earlier. "Remember to smile!" I quickly prompted her, which got some sort of response. Well, glass half full, I suppose.
We touched down on our thrones, and I discreetly shook off the cable harness, which was cleverly hidden by the lighting. Zipp had also removed hers, and resorted to sitting with a pleasant expression on her face. Pipp, on the other hand, launched off into her routine. I knew what to expect given I had watched her perform it as a test, but it was still stunning to watch. My heart swelled with pride, the way only a mother's heart can.
Wait, what? Something odd was going on here. How could I be having these sensations when I wasn't literally Pipp's mother? Although I was in Queen Haven's body, and Pipp was technically Queen Haven's child, I hadn't given birth to her. Where, precisely, did my own mind stop and Queen Haven's feelings begin?
I was jolted out of my thoughts by a somewhat itchy scalp, so I quickly scratched it. As my eyes continued to look around, I suddenly spotted there was a lot of running around going on. The lack of light made it difficult to tell exactly what was going on within the chamber, but there seemed to be one pony chasing another.
A crash then distracted my attention. A guard had bumped into something, and was currently putting it back up. That was what also confused me. There were far more guards and soldiers than usually was the case, most of them not from the Palace Guard. Palace Guard troops can be instantly identified by their gold ceremonial armour they wear for special events, and most of the soldiers seemed to be dressed in standard uniforms.
Something very strange was going on around here. I looked to one side. "Zephyrina, can you see someth-"
I trailed off as I looked to one side. There was no sign of Zipp anywhere. She had just vanished! "Where in Zephyr Heights has that girl got to?" I asked myself. She and I would be having a little talk about this later.
Some more crashing attracted my attention from the main stage, but then something odd started to happen as well. The lights began to malfunction over Pipp, flashing in and out as the music cut in and out. "Something's wrong," I said to myself.
The lights were moving about erratically, and suddenly they moved into position over another pony- whom I recognised as Hitch! I must confess I had forgotten entirely about Hitch Trailblazer, but I could only assume he was here for precisely the same reason as he was in the movie- to arrest Sunny and Izzy.
He was also improvising lyrics which made my efforts at singing in the shower sound like W. S. Gilbert in comparison. There was some more crashing sounds, and the lights suddenly began to shift around erratically and switch suddenly. I closed my eyes as they were quite intense. I sincerely hope nopony in the audience had epilepsy.
What came in next was far, far worse, however. There was suddenly a loud scream, and before you could say 'two flaps of a wing' Pipp was being dragged about the chamber at terrifying speed! The pegasus was being pulled around like a ragdoll, flailing all over the place on a rollercoaster ride that didn't seem like it wanted to stop.
I glanced over to my throne and flipped open something. I had studied the plans of the throne and knew that an emergency stop button for the cables had been incorporated into the left hoofrest. I moved over and discreetly pushed the button.
Nothing happened.
My heart filled with dread. Pipp was being hauled about at dangerous speed in close proximity to malfunctioning equipment.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
Seriously, what was the technician doing? Was he asleep?
Unfortunately, I couldn't see the room from where I was, and leaving the throne would have looked suspicious. I turned my eyes back towards the chaos unfolding before me, only to see the machinery finally slow down and stop.
The cable machine finally stopped... in the worst possible position. Pipp was hanging there. She was suspended upside down, her head near the floor and her hind legs in the air. Her wings flopped pathetically downwards, reflecting the light of the cameras back at them.
The cables were clear to see thanks to the engineering failure, having been pushed through tolerances they were never designed to cope with. And the media lights were flashing relentlessly.
"She's a fake!" shouted one reporter.
"She can't fly!" shouted another.
I'm not quite sure how they came to that conclusion, given Pipp could have been using guide cables so she could concentrate on the choreography. I saw a change in activity as well. The soldiers seemed to have tensed up, as if anticipating something.
My heart must have been going a thousand beats a minute. I knew where we were in the story. This was the coup.
My eyes were drawn to a loud snapping noise, and the cables holding Pipp up began to give way. The last of them snapped, and suddenly Pipp hit the floor with a bang.
A voice shouted. "EXECUTE OMEGA PROTOCOL!"
Soldiers suddenly poured forward, shoving civilians aside and grabbing their weapons. I glanced at a newsfeed and suddenly saw the city in a state of outright revolt. Soldiers and tanks were marching through the streets. This was a full blown revolution!
"REMEMBER! THE GENERAL WANTS HER ALIVE!"
I would have intervened sooner, but I was paralysed with fear. That paralysis came to an end when a scream of terror cut through the air.
"MOM! HELP ME!"
It was Pipp. They were beating her! Enough was enough. I left the throne and charged in. "To Hell with niceties!"
The first soldier didn't see it coming as I slammed into him and pulled him off Pipp. I wheeled round and kicked another before turning and headbutting another. I then reached down and hauled Pipp clear, both of us rolling backwards onto the marble floor. Luckily, she wasn't too badly hurt. Just the odd bruise which the Palace doctor could treat.
Pipp sniffled as she saw the chaos unfolding. "Mom, I'm scared."
I got back to my feet as the soldiers closed in. "Not one step closer, traitor!"
Several soldiers took to chanting. "DEATH TO THE FALSE FAMILY!"
More of them arrived in the room. I looked back. "There's an escape tunnel we can take-"
I never finished my sentence as my foreleg exploded in agony. I collapsed to the floor, barely able to move, as the soldiers who had once served me closed in.
"The General wants her alive, so only rough her up a bit," said one. "I've been looking forward to beating the stuffing out of this rich bitch."
I could barely respond before more pain erupted. Hooves, rifle butts, and other implements of violence slammed into me over and over again, more soldiers diving in.
These soldiers probably thought they were brave and heroic. Quite what is heroic about beating up a middle aged pony is beyond me.
I groaned, feeling consciousness start to leave me. I looked back, to see Pipp there, paralysed with fear in the same way I had been minutes earlier. I had to keep the story moving, even if it cost me my life, and for that I had to use the one asset I had left.
I grabbed the crown and threw it to her, calling to her. "Pipp! Run! Save yourself!"
I briefly saw Pipp running before another weapon smacked into my left temple. Good thing he didn't hit my eye. The lights above were gradually growing more distant. I cannot adequately express the terror I felt in what I was certain were the last moments of my life. I was stranded far from home, in an alien body, and being beaten to death by soldiers I had once called loyal.
Life pulls some bizarre turns, sometimes.
"That's enough, boys!" said a voice, who sounded distant. "I think she gets the message. This is what happens to rulers who life and steal from their people."
I had no strength to reply, and my head rolled to one side as everything went black.
"Ah, she's waking up. Took the bitch long enough to respond to stimuli."
My vision was foggy and cloudy, my hearing even more so. I suddenly jolted upright in my chair, feeling binds around my front and rear hooves. "Huh? Where am I? Where's Pipp?"
The figure sitting opposite me was General Gulfstream. "That fat pig you call a daughter is the least of your concerns. And an old hag like you had best watch their step."
I was incensed. "How dare you talk to me like that! Do you kno-"
"Your titles mean nothing, as the Monarchy exists no more. You may have pretended to be able to fly, but what I have planned for you is very much real."
I groaned, feeling bruises all over me. Those guards really went to town with the beating. I glanced down to try and spot the cause of all the itching, only to find it. This only made me more annoyed. Somepony had seemingly pilfered all my regalia and replaced it with this hideous orange jumpsuit. I mean, really? The colour clashed horribly with my fur!
I looked coldly at him. "What could you possibly want?"
The General smiled, and slid a piece of paper over from him to me. "This is what I want from you. On this piece of paper is a list of charges. You are going to go on state television and confess to your crimes against the people, in view of the entire populace. A fitting end to the reign of a charlatan, I think."
I read over the list of charges. "These charges are absurd," I said. "Spying on behalf of whom? The moon?"
"It's obvious you're a spy," Gulfstream answered. "After all, why would you keep those other ponies around instead of killing them? You work for them. It's obvious. And I have evidence to prove it."
He slid some photos over, which I then studied. Somepony had been taking photographs of my interactions with Sunny, Izzy, and Misty! "All of these photos have a perfectly innocent explanation-"
"Try explaining that to a populace thirsty for your blood," Gulfstream answered. "When revolution is in the air, something ponies enjoy seeing is the heads of nobles rolling off the block. And all the things you own? It's clear you're funding that through faulty means."
I looked him dead in the eye. "What makes you think I'll confess to any of these charges, especially as I didn't do any of this rubbish you're accusing me of?"
Gulfstream looked back. "Bring up the lights in the next room!"
The lights came on, and I gasped in shock. Suspended from the wall was the unconscious form of Zipp! A soldier was standing nearby, with a club sitting on a table.
"If you don't confess to your crimes, say goodbye to your daughter being able to walk."
They were planning on breaking her bones!
"If you do, I assure you she will come to no harm."
It wasn't as if I had a real choice. "Alright. I'll confess." I just wanted this all to end.
Next thing I knew, a camera was being shoved in my face. They hadn't made any effort whatsoever to make me look vaguely presentable for state television, and as such my bruises were still there. The lighting was harsh and intense, meaning I was struggling to see. It didn't help I hadn't been given a chance to arrange my mane properly, and this blasted jumpsuit was making concentration difficult as it itched constantly. I assume that was the point- to leave me in a perpetual state of discomfort.
My mind was racing with what was going on. If they had Zipp, then where was Pipp? Had she succesfully escaped? Were they holding her in another place? If so, what did they plan on doing with her? And could I stop them?
I hung my head. I had failed in my duties. As a leader, as a monarch, but most importantly as a mother. I could only pray she was OK.
Suddenly, my attention was brought back by water being tossed in my face. "Here's your speech," said a soldier, rudely shoving a piece of paper in my hoof. "The General's nearly done talking."
A monitor switched on next to me, and the General's face appeared on it. He was giving some sort of TV broadcast. "Your former monarch, to whom you dedicated so much of your affection and time, is a traitor. She has agreed to confess to her crimes."
"Right, you're on!" said the soldier. "That means talk."
I looked at the camera and started to speak- only to suffer an explosive coughing fit as I did so. I took a few moments to compose myself, then began to speak to the camera. "I, Queen Haven, of the House of Cornuequus, do hereby confess to crimes against the State. I conspired to defraud the Bank of Zephyr Heights, spied for foreign powers, committed High Treason, and the worst charge of all- I was a phoney pony full of baloney. I humbly apologise for wronging you all, and sincerely hope you can forgive me."
This was my chance to do some more good, though. I looked up and directly into the camera as I went off scrip. "Pipp! Run! Save yourself!"
That was the last I was able to say, as a heavy object suddenly crashed down upon my head, and I slumped forward. I was conscious, yes, but not really in a state to respond to anything.
"Good, she's done her job," said one soldier. "Haul her to the cells until further notice. Perhaps put her in there with one of the others."
I was pulled out of the chair and rudely dragged along the floor of the building to a waiting truck, which then drove to another location. I was then dragged along again and dumped into a cell- the palace cells, I soon recognised. How llife can sometimes be so ironic.
I could hear distant voices as I slowly came to, trying to get my bearings. There was something metal around my hoof, which I quickly identified as a chain, and I got to my hooves as best I could before trying to get closer to Zipp, who was also in the cell with me.
The guard who had been talking to Zipp walked away. Seems insulting us is in season.
But Zipp looked distraught. I didn't blame her at all. "Mom, I'm so, so sorry- "
I reached forward and touched her hoof, owing to the fact the chains weren't long enough to allow us to hug. "Zephyrina, this isn't your fault. I failed to see what Gulfstream was up to. We're all paying for my negligence now."
"They wouldn't know we can't fly if hadn't done what I did. I should have listened to you." Zipp really was beating herself up inside, and it was quite painful to watch.
"It would probably have been found out eventually. But I have another confession to make."
Zipp looked at me with widened eyes. "Yes?"
I sighed. Time to spill the beans, so to speak. "I'm a fraud. I'm not really your mother. I'm just a person who ended up as her. I'm not from Equestria, or from this world- I'm from another reality entirely."
I fully expected Zipp to lose her mind over that, but her response caught me completely off guard. "Hey, welcome to the club."
Hold on a moment. I'm not the only one in this situation? There are other former humans out there in the world who are suddenly ponies? I must admit that Zipp quoting Chernobyl gave me something of a clue as to what was going on, but to have it actually confirmed was a somewhat surreal experience. "You're not from here either?" I asked.
Zipp shook her head. "Nope. Northern England, weird feather, woke up in a hospital bed. You?"
Similar causes. Like me, she'd been changed by an object, possibly with magical power. Interesting. "A jewel, oddly enough, in London." The jewel suddenly made me think of Pipp. "I worry about Pipp. I noticed she's not in any of the cells, which can only mean she's out there in the wilds! However will she survive? She's lived here all the time and doesn't have wilderness skills! I hope she doesn't starve!"
We talked for a bit longer, including myself revealing what I had done to save our lives. The way this was all going was leaving me very worried. Even though I wasn't the real Queen Haven (and if the original was still around heavens know where she ended up), I was still feeling her emotions- including towards a stallion I had never met.
So where did I stop and Queen Haven begin? Was there a distinction in the mind, or was it all some sort of strange soup that blurred together? Was I truly myself anymore?
My internal monologue was halted by a voice. "Sir, you may interrogate the prisoners."
I have to say that the interaction with the figure, who turned out to be Colonel Opwinden, did not go as I was expecting. Based on the prior evidence I had of the army (the whole being beaten aspect of the interactions), I was under the impression the entire military had turned on me, as had the entire populace.
So imagine my surprise when he greeted me by my correct title! Something interesting was going on here, and as I listened I was astonished at what I heard him say.
Not only did we have friends inside the military who opposed Gulfstream, the people still cared about us. The way Opwinden told the story they were annoyed about the fact we could not fly either and had covered it up (on reflection that was a rather severe public relations failure), the fact still stood that they ultimately still cared for us. And they didn't hugely like Gulfstream either, which was interesting. Apparently the recruitment drives he was running made him highly unpopular, as it turns out waging pointless wars against other powers is a reason for a leader to be disliked. Getting your own people killed is highly unpopular.
But who gave him the power to declare war? That power lies with Parliament alone! It simply wouldn't do to have an unelected head of state be able to declare wars in random locations without any sort of oversight from elected people, would it?
Based on what I had observed out of the window of our cell, propaganda against the other races was running on the big screens, seemingly nonstop. Those billboards were privately owned, so how had Gulfstream been able to take them over? He probably also didn't know that the boards didn't have any speakers and that most pegasi simply synced their phones to the existing broadcast running on the screen.
I was also stunned to learn that Opwinden was planning a counter revolution to restore some much needed sanity to this place and rescue us, but he wasn't quite ready to launch the revolution and overthrow the General.
I took this all in, absolutely stunned. What a stunning reversal of fortune! The General's actions had, somehow, turned our rock bottom reputation into the light of hope, as the people longed for a simpler time without dictatorial nutcases.
It does rather align with what is seen in the film. Just in case you'd forgotten, this world is a film where I was originally from. Something interesting to note in the franchise is that the Royal Family are reinstated offscreen, and later on in Bridlewood Zoom defends the Queen from Alphabittle's rudeness despite the fact she is supposed to be arresting her at that moment in time. Clearly the people have strong affection for her. And me, by logical extension.
So all we had to do was sit it out until he was ready to initiate his plan, and all would be good to go. I knew I had friends on the inside, and that brought me immesurable relief considering how often after a revolution a monarch's head ends up on the chopping block. Or riddled with bullet holes in a damp basement far from anywhere.
Suddenly, there was another voice down the corridor. "Colonel, I have a message from the General! He wants to speak to you immediately."
The Colonel nodded. "I'll be along shortly." He then looked back to us, and sighed. "Apologies in advance." He then shouted in a voice that would have given the Royal Pegasus Voice a run for its money. "STAY IN LINE MAGGOTS! This'll teach you to stand against us!"
Even though I knew he was acting, it still stung nontheless. He then walked away. "A special signal will let you know when we are ready."
Suddenly, I became aware of massed voices and hooves at the other end of the corridor, and knew something was coming. And that something could not be good based on my prior interactions of the last few hours. Speaking of hours, how and where were we meant to sleep? My back was killing me, and I somehow suspected sleeping on a concrete floor wasn't going to help at all. Ponies sleep on their backs around here, interestingly, rather than on their fronts as they did thousands of years ago.
"MAKE WAY FOR HIS EXCELLENCY, GENERAL GULFSTREAM, SAVIOUR OF PEGASUS KIND AND THE HAMMER OF THE FALSE QUEEN!"
I think I know where this is going now. I tried to look away as best I could, concerned about what I would see.
The sound of hoofs marching in perfect step thundered down the corridor as a troop formation pulled into view. Each was dressed in a dark green uniform, and had black boots as part of the uniform. Each also wore a darker coloured helmet and a black gas mask, which in turn was fitted with a pipe connected to a cylinder on their backs. Some sort of breathing equipment?
In amongst them was the man of the hour himself. Or stallion of the hour, I guess. General Gulfstream was at the centre, and I didn't think this possible but he somehow looked even crazier than normal. His uniform was now even more flashy than it had been before, covered in gold embellishments on top of the former green, and epaullets with golden metalwork. The cap had a new emblem into it, one that I didn't recognise. And his chest was covered in medals. My medals!
It seemed he'd helped himself to the stores and pilfered our things! The fiend! I can only hope he left the clothes alone, as the regalia is very valuable!
He then spoke, for the first time in a long time. "Greetings, Prisoners 03272023 and 05082023. I have to say, those jumpsuits suit you far better than the metal and fabric you plundered from the populace."
The irony of that sentence was seemingly lost on him, and when Zipp pointd this out he simply electrocuted her. I would have helped her up were it not for the fact I couldn't get over to her, and as a result watched, helpless, as he went about his vile design.
And his soldiers? They were part of a new plan of his to create a racially pure army, free of any trace of the other races. Again, the fact that the three races are pretty comprehensively interbred was rather lost on him, and as I looked at his forces, his soldiers looking back unblinking through the cold lights of their gas masks, I knew this was a group who had once been loyal to me. Or seemingly loyal to me.
How long had he been planning this for?
It was what he said next that had me most worried. "All I did was overthrow an unjust government. The populace won't stand for ponies like you, and with the ranks of our armies swelling we shall soon be able to finish the work that King Thundercloud started all those centuries ago."
I assumed Thundercloud was a previous king, and therefore a former ancestor of mine.
"What do you mean?" Zipp asked, saving me some breath.
"This state of cold war has made us complacent. What is the point of all this military equipment if you have no war to fight? Solders should be used for fighting, even if it means having to pull a few strings."
Even in peace a nation should maintain some form of standing army to defend itself. That was just common sense. What Gulfstream wanted was something more, though, something much, much worse. As I suspected, he planned on going to war.
"You're insane. You'll condemn us all to death! They may be our enemies, but a world war helps nopony!"
Having come from a world where the dominant species had a bad habit of constantly tearing itself apart over tiny things, I didn't want to see the same happen to this one. What if the conflict went nuclear and Equestria was reduced to a nightmarish hellscape populated by mutated creatures?
There would be no glorious end in the fires of battle. There would be no roaming across the wastes with a band of heroes by our side.
We would all succumb to needless, horrible deaths, and the living would envy the deceased.
Gulfstream, unfortunately, hadn't got the memo. "You foalish fool. War helps plenty of ponies. It weeds out the weak from the strong, the wheat from the chaff, the undesirable from the very best. Race war will allow us to exterminate the earth ponies and unicorns and establish a perfect pegasus utopia, the way it has always been! Faust is on our side, and will ensure our victory in this crusade!"
How had he disguised his madness so well? How had nopony spotted this?
How come I hadn't spotted this? I hadn't interacted with him a huge amount, but his insistence on ramping up the military after Sunny and Izzy arrived should have been a clue.
But he then leaned in and spoke once more. "Never you two fear. I have a plan. The final solution to the unicorn and earth pony problem."
When I heard those words, it felt as though my heart stopped beating.
I knew instantly what he meant, but I still could scarcely believe a pony would even go that far. "Y- you can't mean!"
The General had a psychotic grin on his face. "Yes. First and second strike capability. Massive retaliation. Fire from Celestial bodies. Faust's wrath. Whatever you call it, the process is the same. Our enemies cannot resist us if they have been wiped off the map and we have obliterated their mechanism of striking back." He then got uncomfortably close to my face. "You know full well what I mean. What is the point of our nuclear weapons if we don't use them?"
How far did his madness extend? Not only was he seemingly willing to use violence to get his way, he was prepared to needlessly kill millions to achieve his racist 'utopia'? Had he been reading The Turner Diaries?
After a bit of back and forth, his demands were clear. He wanted the launch codes to the missiles.
My answer was simple. "No."
To which he seemed legitimately surprised, and shook his head. "You may want to reconsider your course of action."
I shook my head in turn, astonished this warhorse (excuse the pun) lacked such a basic understanding of Mutually Assured Destruction. What were they teaching them in the military academy? "If I give them to you, we all die. Including you. We fire the weapons, they fire as well. We all die in the resulting exchange. It's very simple. Did they teach you nothing at military school?"
We then went back and forth a bit more, with a sequence of dialogue which wouldn't have sounded out of place in an episode of Yes, Minister. I am aware there is a pegasus version of the show, which I still haven't gotten around to watching. I do approve of the name Jim Flapper though.
Unfortunately, our attempts to make him see reason simply caused him to fly off the handle. "ENOUGH! Prisoners 03272023 and 05082023, you will listen to my words and you will obey my orders. As Supreme Ruler of the New Pegasus Empire, I have total authority, and nothing you do can stop me!"
I stepped back, stunned. I never reacted well to people, or ponies, yelling in my face. But I had little choice but to take it. When I wore a younger mare's clothes and was an entirely different species, I had a teacher who dealt with every problem in the class by screaming at people. We had a lot of uncharitable nicknames for her, used exclusively when she was not in the room, and yet Gulstream reminded me of her.
I didn't have a chance to speak before he cut in again. "You leave me no choice. Guards, bring Prisoner 05082023 with me to the interrogation rooms. We shall get what we need there."
The door on my side was wheeled back, and a guard stepped in to remove the chains, whilst another held a weapon to my head. "No funny business, understand?"
"I won't talk," I replied bitterly, as they hauled me down the corridor. I looked back to Zipp, who still looked distraught. The poor dear.
Gulfstream smiled darkly. "That's what they all say, prisoner... right before the screaming starts."
They hauled me into a chair and strapped me down, binds on my front and rear hooves. Two lights were swung around into my face, making it hard for me to see. The experience was rather reminiscent of Mastermind, a game show back in the old world. This, I guess, was rather apt; the show was inspired by one man's experience of being interrogated by the secret police.
Gulfstream sat on the other side, and looked intently. "What are the launch codes?"
I looked him dead in the eyes. "My name is Merryweather Haven, Queen of Zephyr Heights and current head of House Cornequus. That's all you're getting."
The General nodded. "Very well."
Oh? Well, that was eas-
My thoughts were cut off as an electric shock coursed through me.
"Each time you fail to answer the question, we increase the voltage," he said. "Not so brave now, are you?"
I suddenly felt an odd sensation on my back hooves as I stared him in the eye. "Fuck you."
The General snorted. "No thanks. You're not my type. Now then, what are the launch codes?"
I didn't care how long this would take. He was not getting those codes. "My name is Merryweather Haven, Queen of Zephyr Heights and current head of House Cornequus. That's all you're getting."
A blunt object suddenly slammed into my chest.
I have no idea how long I was in that room. It could have been minutes, could have been hours. I never quite solved in my mind what the sensation on my hooves was, though. I was eventually released- Gulfstream clearly saw he wasn't going to get the information he wanted.
I was eventually pulled out of the chair and hauled back to the cell, where Zipp was at least relieved to see me. "Did you tell them anything?"
I coughed, still winded from when they'd given up on the electric shocks and switched to beatings. "Not a word. No matter how many times they hit me. They did seem oddly preoccupied with my hooves, though."
This brought Zipp no comfort despite what she said next. "At least they can't follow their plan."
It was the alternative that concerned me more. "What if he tries a conventional invasion? It'd be a massacre!"
Zipp's response was oddly blunt. "Given the amount of firepower we have, it'd end badly for the other races. We'd probably also suffer heavy casualties as well to be honest."
I was about to chastise her for being so blase about the matter, but my ears suddenly picked something up. I moved them to focus a little, and soon found myself picking up a conversation. "Listen. Conversation."
I then heard a guard talking to one of his colleagues. "What's this about conscience rounds, eh?"
"We're having them issued for tomorrow morning," said his fellow. "Haven't you heard? The General wants the Royal Family shot on national television tomorrow morning. Should be an interesting job."
To go out like the Tsar? I had never anticipated this would be how it ended!
Zipp was the first to react. "He wants us dead!" she squeaked, her voice cracking as it did so. I didn't blame her. The girl was absolutely terrified, as any rational being would be if they had just been told of their impending doom.
"We're doomed!" I said, trying to get closer to comfort her, but I felt the chains once more pull on me. "Curse these chains!"
Whilst Zipp tried to break down a wall, I tried to think of an escape plan. There was the food trolley which came around to dispense the inedible slop the new regime considered food. I could only wonder how the military was getting the farmers to cooperate around the Empire.
Anyway, this food cart gave me an idea. The guard who moved it had to come into the cell to drop off the places. If Zipp and I could clobber him and take his keys, we could escape and find a way out! That was how we would survive!
My ears pricked up and pulled me out of my thoughts as I heard the sound of Zipp sobbing. I looked over to the place she was and saw her lying there. She'd given up. My heart sank.
This was all my fault. I had utterly failed to keep them safe and protect them. Now it was all coming back to bite us in the worst possible way.
I was suddenly surprised when I heard voices down the corridor. Something was happening, and my phone buzzed. To my surprise they'd let me keep my phone, but the apps and the SIM card had been removed, although it could still pick up ZBS. I flipped it open and took a look at the display.
Two words were displayed on a white background.
HAVEN LIVES
What could this mean? Suddenly, gunfire echoed down the corridor, and as I glanced out of the window I suddenly saw a series of explosions. Something was going on!
Moments later, the Colonel and his men arrived! "As promised, Your Majesty, I have returned."
"That was quick," I joked.
"When we heard of the plans to execute you we had to move the revolution up a bit," he said. His hooves punched some numbers into the cell door, and the door opened. We were free!
"Staff Sergeant Zoom! The Queen requires her regalia!"
So Gulfstream hadn't stolen the regalia! That was certainly a relief. It took me a bit to get it all back on, but it was a drastic improvement to the jumpsuit I had previously been wearing.
Preparation was finally done. The Colonel was ready to lead us to safety. "Move forward, sons of the Revolution! Protect the Queen and Princess Zipp at all costs!"
Obviously, it rather goes without saying I am not combat trained myself. I, back in the old world, did not have any particular skill with weapons, and was hardly the sort of person who could tell weapons apart from just looking at them. To me, a gun was a gun and nothing more, and the minutia between different models was of utter irrelevance to me.
Good thing I had lots of ponies who did it for me. But a revolution was not something I expected to live through, to be honest. And yet the uprising was raging all around me.
Throughout the palace and the plateau I could hear gunfire running through the corridors as the revolution continued to fight back. We turned a corridor and saw a tense gun battle raging in the corridors near the art gallery. I hope they didn't shoot any of the paintings, as some of them are priceless!
We continued on, soon seeing that other forces loyal to us had joined the fight with whatever weapons they could get their hooves on. One mechanic was throwing spanners at advancing enemy forces, and a cook was supporting her by using cutlery as javelins. I have no idea how effective it was, but the thought counted.
We rounded another corridor, and saw a tennis ball launcher (which was normally used in the Royal Tennis Court) was being used to hold a corridor. Advancing through all of that would be quite tough considering how fast a tennis ball can fly.
It wasn't long until we were outside once more, and I saw the sun for the first time in what I thought was weeks. The city beyond echoed to the sounds of weapons as fighting swept through its streets, and the screens continously broadcast one single message.
HAVEN LIVES.
So Opwinden was right! If saying my name was enough to inspire a counter revolution, it therefore stood to reason that there was a lot of base affection to appeal to. He truly had achieved a miracle.
It wasn't just ground forces. Fighter jets duelled in the skies, and choppers roared overhead. One flew in and demolished an anti tank battery with heavy rocket fire, chewing them up with explosions.
And even the parade ground wasn't immune. The roar of engines suddenly attracted our attention, and an entire formation from the Household Cavalry rumbled past, their tanks gleaming in the morning light.
"VIVAT REGINA HAVEN!" one tank commander bellowed over the loud hailer. They rattled into battle to intercept a group of tanks loyal to Gulfstream and his idiots, firing off their cannons at the heavily equipped tanks. I recognised them as the new model I had seen in the factory a while ago. Gulfstream had clearly been planning this for a long time if he was able to re-equip units loyal to him with the most advanced combat units.
We tore round the side as we saw an artillery battery move into position, but our priority target was the helipad around the back of the palace. Several choppers were sitting in position and waiting to be refuelled, and a single technician was looking at the controls.
"Haven lives!" he called. "Sorry for the delay, but we haven't finished refuelling the chopper yet."
The Colonel looked rather annoyed at that. No real surprise there, given we were in the middle of conducting a revolution. "Well can you hurry it up? We're on a rather right schedule."
"I'll try sir, but-"
There was a bang, and the technician was no more. Instinctively we all dived into cover, as somebody had shot him and would probably shoot us if given the chance.
"AMBUSH!" Zoom shouted. "Somepony bring that sniper down!"
I had no time to react before Opwinden pushed me into cover, shielding my body with his own. We landed, and I suddenly realised Zipp was nowhere to be seen. "Zipp?" I asked.
It was then I spotted Zipp operating the refuelling equipment for the helicopter. I suppose it did work similarly to a petrol pump just with more cables (as a helicopter's fuel tank is presumably bigger), but I looked around, concerned the enemy would make her a priority target.
Suddenly besieging forces closed in. Our defensive line had to hold. One of our soldiers went down in a hail of fire, and an enemy soldier seemed to round the barricade. "Target spo-"
In the moment, I didn't think, I acted. I grabbed the gun from the dead soldier, pointed it in the vague direction of the enemy, and pulled the trigger. He went down in a blast of bullets.
As I said earlier I didn't know the first thing about firearms. So how had I known how to do that?
Zipp called to us over the chaos. "This might take a few minutes!"
"We don't have a few minutes!" Thunder bellowed, his eyes focused on the oncoming waves. No matter how much courage we had, we would eventually run out of bodies. And ammunition.
Fresh reinforcements arrived to hold the line as our lines were starting to fracture. I glanced around to see how many of us were still left, and quickly popped up to fire a few more shots the enemy's way. I can only imagine this was what fighting at Rorke's Drift was like, or Shildkroteburg to use another example.
Suddenly, a radio broadcast played over speakers. "LISTEN HERE, REBELS! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! KNOW THAT BY RESCUING THE QUEEN YOU HAVE COMMITTED HIGH TREASON! HAND HER OVER, AND YOUR LIVES WILL NOT BE FORFEIT!"
Negotiating now, eh? Well, considering what you've done it's a bit late for that.
And I had the perfect response lined up. "GO TO TARTARUS!"
They didn't take too kindly to that. "SLAUGHTER THEM! BUTCHER THEM LIKE THE PIGS THEY ARE! STICK THEIR HEADS ON SPIKES!"
Moments later, the fuelling unit beeped. "Fuelling complete!" Zipp shouted. I'd forgotten about the refuelling in the heat of battle.
With that, all turned into chaos. As Opwinden pulled me towards the helicopter, Zoom hopped into the cockpit and began to start the machine up. Another soldier was manning a side weapon to slow the enemy down.
We were all aboard when suddenly aircraft flew overhead and dropped some bombs. And these bombs burned very hot. They seemed to have some sort of sticky substance which burned.
"Napalm!" Opwinden shouted. "Cover your faces!"
I did as ordered, but as the chopper began to lift off, Zipp looked confused. "Where's Thunder?"
Before anypony could answer, a nearby chopper gun opened fire. The grounded helicopter had a working minigun, and as we looked closer Thunder was manning that, cutting down those chasing us.
"Thunder, what are you doing?" Zoom radioed.
"Get out of here! I'll hold them off!" Thunder replied. "I may be going to Tartarus, but I'll take as many of them with me as I can!"
As the helicopter pulled away, he kept on firing. A missile streaked through the skies and struck the helicopter he was in, blowing it apart. The smoke rose, and there was absolutely no sign of him as we flew away.
The enormity of what had happened hit me pretty quickly. Thunder had always come across as something of a goofball, not the brightest of sparks if you know what I mean. And yet he had just given his life to protect us.
Greater love hath no pony, I suppose. But Zoom was seemingly distraught. "THUNDER!"
I didn't blame her. From what I had observed of those two they were close friends, and seeing your friends falling around you would always be a difficult moment.
As we flew away through the air, Opwinden suddenly handed myself and Zipp some objects. I recognised them from news reports, as when reporters go to warzones they are often required to wear these. Helmets and flak jackets. No doubt to keep us safe.
On the topic of staying safe, we had to find the others and find out what they were up to. If Gulfstream had devoted such intense military power to getting us back behind bars, he was no doubt chasing the others too.
"Where were you needing to go?" the Colonel asked.
Zipp spoke before I could. "Bridlewood. That's where my friends are heading."
The Colonel, although surprised by the order, gave the command to set course for Bridlewood anyway. But as we flew over some mountains-
An exposion rocked the chopper. "Shit!" Thunder shouted.
"What's going on?" Opwinden demanded.
"We got hit! Some sort of SAM! I can't hold the chopper! We're going down!"
I looked about in a panic. I recalled from the papers I had found that Golden Skies had gone down in a similar helicopter crash, and now it seemed I would be joining him in the same fate.
I held Zipp close as I readied myself for what was certain death. At least I would be reunited with him in the afterlife.
"We're not gonna clear the mountains! BRACE FOR IMPACT!"
Seconds later, the helicopter slammed into the ground, and in that moment we were all thrown into each other. This was it. I closed my eyes, waiting for the cold embrace of death.
As my senses slowly recovered, I figured I would simply be getting out of bed and getting ready for a day at my usual workplace. I groaned as my body started to switch into gear for whatever task might await me.
After all, I had just been through something very strange. I'd had a nightmare where I'd been turned into a fictional character and basically lived through her life before being forced to flee from some crazy ponies and then crashed on a mountain. Undoubtedly that last bit was my brain telling me it was time to wake up.
Though that didn't explain the lack of an alarm in the background. My alarm always goes off, without fail. It's as reliable as anything, and as sure to start as the sun rising in the sky.
Furthermore, why weren't my hands responding? Why did I seem to be in an upright position? And why was there a smell of burning fuel in my nostrils?
"Tha... cold here... dark..." I murmured to myself, trying to get my body to move. My voice sounded a bit odd, but I'd probably just slept oddly. I can't recall any sleeping pattern which turns you into a Mid Atlantic person, though.
I suddenly felt something hitting my side, and I was suddenly awake. And I then realised this was no nightmare. This was, in fact, real life. I looked down and saw I was still a pony. A pony strapped down inside a helicopter, with a cockpit that was on fire.
Wait, a cockpit on fire?
I looked over to see Zipp strapped in next to me, and she looked absolutely terrified. Her eyes were wide and wild, and her face was contorted into a face of fear.
I tried to get my bearings. "Zipp? Where are we?"
Zipp was quick to reply. "We need to get out of here!" she said, her voice higher in pitch than normal. "I can't get the straps free! Mom, help me, please!"
Well, what sort of heartless parent would leave their own child to burn to death? I leaned over and punched the release button on Zipp's restraints before hitting the button on my own. Both sets of straps popped open fairly easily, but that didn'y give us much time to escape. The cockpit was still on fire, and the flames appeared to be spreading quite quickly.
Well, I had no desire to suffer the fate of Gus Grissom. I grabbed Zipp and we rolled to one side. We fell out of one side of the chopper and then I realised it was a short distance to the ground.
"Pop your wings open and glide!" Zipp called.
I nodded, and flared them to generate as much lift as possible. Within a few seconds of gliding, Zipp and I were on the ground alongside several other soldiers. Colonel Opwinden was busy checking the survivors, whilst Zoom was trying to put the fire in the cockpit out. Good idea. That helicopter probably still had a fair amount of fuel on it.
Zipp spoke up to announce her presence. "We're safe now."
The Colonel looked over in delight. "Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness, you're both safe!" he exclaimed. He was sincerely joyful- after all, I had no clue what he would have done if either of us had gone to meet the maker. "Faust be praised, for she smiles upon us this day!"
Zoom dashed over, and stopped next to us. I glanced back and saw the fire had been put out.
"How bad a hit did we take?" Zipp asked.
Zoom's look of concern did not bode well. "It's not looking good. We lost most of the troops onboard the chopper when it crashed. Myself, the Colonel, two others, and the Royal Family are all that's left."
I noticed there were more supply bags than soldiers in the area. I could only assume we'd all be lifting our weight and pulling things with us as well. And carrying things on our backs as well. I didn't mind, and Zipp probably didn't, but I suspected Pipp would have been voicing objections to the entire thing as well.
Zipp, on the other hand, appeared to be studying a map. I glanced over her shoulder to try and pin down where we were, but the map was a bit unhelpful. There was a distinct lack of any discernible landmarks, which made figuring out where anything was a bit of an exercise in speculative guesswork.
Zipp sighed. "We're not in a good spot right now. Where exactly are we?"
The Colonel, who was also reading a map, glanced over to us. "According to my maps, we're stuck in the Peaks of Peril. Quite a long way from our destination of Bridlewood."
Well, there was a name I hadn't expected to hear again in a long time. I recalled that two of the characters of the prior Generation had visited the place, and had met a very chatty kirin who sang a lot. Wait. The kirin lived here.
They were a potential danger in the region. I had no clue if we were suddenly in severe danger, but that was a prospect I did not want to entertain. If the kirin turned out to be hostile, that would put us in a spot of bother, as we could scarcely afford to waste ammunition on a protracted ground battle. I also suspected none of these soldiers knew Men of Harlech.
I glanced back to Opwinden, who was still studying the map. "How long will this journey take?" I asked, trying to shake him out of thinking.
He glanced up to me. "Several days by hoof over difficult terrain," he said, looking worried. I hadn't seen that emotion in his face in quite a long time, as it suggested he was seriously out of his depth. Then again, I'd only been Queen Haven for a few weeks at most, so I wouldn't have had much chance to see his facial expressions.
He then continued. "This area is incredibly dense in terms of terrain, and has many changes of elevation between here and there. What little of it has been comprehensively mapped has large amounts of terrain missing. And who knows if there are still Kirin out there. We'll have to keep our watch out there if we're going to make it through this alive."
My immediate concerns were not with kirin, but with my own species. I looked back and saw the still smoking helicopter wreckage. That object was basically an enormous beacon for any of Gulfstream's forces who might be chasing us. After all, our escape from Zephyr Heights was not exactly what you'd call stealthy.
"What about the wreckage?" I asked "Should we dispose of it?"
Opwinden looked quite surprised at my question. "Your Majesty, I would strongly advise against that," he said. "We only have limited quantities of explosives and ammunition on us- which we might need if we have to do any unexpected tunnelling. I would personally advise we conserve resources for later as we continue our journey."
Well, I couldn't argue with that logic. I stepped over to the pile of supplies and slipped a bag onto my back before securing the bag in place with the front straps. I didn't want it bouncing about, after all. I adjusted my regalia underneath it- I hardly wanted that rubbing against my fur, after all. "I understand. Seeing as we've not got anything else we need to do here, apparently, shall we be on our way?"
I glanced about to see the others now grouped around the supply pile. "Well, go on. Pick some up. They won't move themselves."
The rest of the soldiers nodded, and one of them began whistling a marching tune as they collected the various bags and packs up and strapped them into place on their armour. The Colonel chose to take two- brave of him- and before long any of the supplies were collected up and ready to be moved.
The Colonel then acknowledged my instruction from earlier. "Yes, Your Majesty. FORM UP AND PREPARE TO MARCH!"
With incredible precision, the soldiers formed up into a single column two rows across, with myself and Zipp in the middle. This formation made sense- if anything were to inconvenience us they would shield us with their lives.
Zoom glanced forward. "I don't think we'll be marching over this terrain. Far too steep and rocky."
The Colonel snorted at this statement. "Whatever are you talking about? We are pegasi, we thrive anywhere!" He then looked back. "FOLLOW ME!"
As the formation set off, one of the soldiers decided to crack a joke. "Shame we left the drums and fifes at home, eh?"
I questioned to myself how pegasi would play a marching drum, but then remembered I had seen them doing just that with their wings at the parade.
"You'll have to make the noises, then!" said another. "Who'll take the trumpets?"
I chuckled quietly at the conversation. If nothing else it was helping to lighten the mood.
It didn't take long for things to start to go pear shaped on our journey across the Peaks of Peril.
Progress was unfortunately very slow thanks to all the rock formations and steep climbs, which made covering the ground a lot more difficult than we had anticipated. In many locations the path narrowed to single file, which meant we had to stop and go across one at a time, before waiting for fellow members of our party to cross the place behind us. This was not helped by partially crumbled paths which made navigating round obstacles quite the trip hazard.
If we'd had magic then navigating through this area would have been very easy, but alas we lacked magic, so it was something of a moot point. There were also numerous places with bridges that had seemingly been damaged or destroyed, so precious time was consumed rebuilding them, and then we could get on our way.
The thin air was wreaking havoc with my lungs. I knew that we were higher up, but the pegasi are supposed to have evolved to live at high altitude. Unless these mountain paths were at a higher altitude than Zephyr Heights, which I suppose is entirely possible as mountains can become very tall, but my mind was still struggling through it all. My fitness seemed to not be doing us too many favours, despite what I had already done to keep myself in check the past few weeks.
I had to internally curse whatever had brought me here and put me into this life, as I climbed over some rocks and made my way to the plateau beyond. I puffed and panted as I reached the top of the boulder field, before stopping to catch my breath.
This accursed magic brought me here- not to mention increased my age. Why in the world did it do that? It was getting quite annoying.
There were other problems, as well. The situation we found ourselves in was causing tensions to boil over for those of us in our party. I noticed some cold interactions between soldiers, but the situation got to its worst when we reached another seeming resting place.
One of the soldiers seemed to be having a rough time of it all, and I'm sorry to say that he and Zipp got into a rather fierce argument whilst we were there. I won't be repeating the soldier's words as what he said was very vulgar, and hardly appropriate for the cafe district of Zephyr Heights. But what he did say produced an outcome which shocked me.
Zipp punched him, and before we knew what had happened she and the soldier were in the dirt, brawling like something out of a schoolyard. I looked over to the Colonel and he nodded back, before we moved in and pulled them off one another.
Whilst he admonished the soldier, I took to getting Zipp back into line. "Really?" I said. "Fighting in the dirt like an unruly schoolyard foal? Honestly, what were you thinking?"
I cut her off before she could speak again. "You're the Crown princess, Zephryina. Act like it."
Using her real name seemed to do the trick, and with that resolved we pushed onwards into the mountains. The tension had bubbled down... for now.
The next stage of our journey brought us out into another section of the mountains, which were still rather annoying to cross over in our little group of survivors. I kept Zipp by my side to keep her safe from anything that might come her way- and, if needs must, herself. If the little episode from earlier indicated anything, tension could erupt into outright hostility at any moment.
We rounded another bend, and what was sitting there was a grave site. What was a grave doing here in the middle of nowhere?
Well, apart from the obvious fact it marks the final resting place of a pony. But what was one doing here, miles from civilisation of any sort?
I looked closely at the inscription on it. In Loving Memory of Corporal Gust. She Made the Ultimate Sacrifice for her Country. Her Name lives Forevermore.
I looked in astonishment. This was the grave of a pegasus. But what was a pegasus doing buried out here, so far from the Pegasus Empire's core?
We continued on our way, before we came across the remains of a crashed helicopter. Oh no. Have we been going round in a loop and ended up where we started?
It seemed the Colonel shared this viewpoint as well. "Are you sure we're going the right way, Zoom?"
"Positive, sir!" Zoom replied. "This chopper has different tail markings to the one we were in."
The Colonel took a closer look at the crashed helicopter, and saw something he clearly recognised as well. "I recognise that number," he said. "That helicopter has been missing for the best part of a decade. This is where it must have crashed!"
Zipp, on the other hand, was looking at a metal inscription sitting on a nearby wall. "HRH down," she read. "Have sought shelter. Will try to raise contact. Burial sight nearby."
I think my heart skipped a beat when I heard that sentence. I turned away from the scene so they couldn't see me, and removed a tear from my eye as I did so.
This was where they had crashed. This was where he'd died.
I couldn't help but not notice how absurd this was. I was already a widow, and I'd technically never been married. This was honestly getting ridiculous. Why was I having such strong emotional responses to ponies I had never known and never met?
My thoughts were interrupted by some more reading. "Hey, there's another grave over here."
I trotted over, dreading what it might be. Please don't let it be him, I repeated over and over in my mind.
Instead, it was a memorial to a soldier who had died either saving his fellows or in battle. It wasn't entirely clear from the context.
Once we had paid our respects (albeit not by pressing X) we continued on our way into the mountains. The path ahead narrowed onto a rocky ledge, which gave us a hard time navigating up the landscape. The steep grades didn't really help either, so we had to find another way to push onwards regardless.
But as we continued on our way, things soon went wrong again. As we made our way up the ledge, the air was suddenly filled with an alarm. Had somepony knocked a tripwire?
"Assume defensive formation!" the Colonel barked. "Move the Royal Family to the middle!"
We were quickly moved to the middle by the well drilled guards, and were sure to put our heads on the swivel for whatever might be coming our way.
But we got very lucky. A pegasus stepped round the corner. His uniform was battered and faded in many places, and the equipment he was carrying looked very old indeed.
Having said that, his face broke out into a smile when he saw who was there. "Weapons down, they're pegasi," he said. His smile was oddly gentle for a soldier. "Nice to see a friendly face out here."
Opwinden seemed to recognise him. "Captain Feldsturm? You're alive?"
The Captain laughed and replied to the Colonel's surprise. "It's takes more than a few bumps to slow this old warhorse down, Lieutenant. Though what I want to know is how you got here?"
So, it seems these two know each other somehow. Possibly they know one another through basic training? It also seemed darkly funny that history was repeating itself in a way. Both of these groups -mine and his- had ended up here via a helicopter crashing in a mountain range. The exact same mountain range, it turns out, in a largely uninhabited section of our lands.
I tuned back into the conversation as Opwinden continued speaking. "Same way you did, sir."
Zoom looked surprised by this. "Sir, you outrank him."
"I trained under him when I transferred to the Royal Guard. I was lower in rank than him when he went missing, so I'll break it to him gently. Besides, he has combat experience I do not."
That really struck a chord with me, to be honest. Back in the world before, long before I was propelled into this life of fame and luxury, I had worked for a while in a school where I had been a pupil. The relationship with my former teachers was an interesting one to say the least, and I had continued to use formal titles even though I was on the same level as them. This made made sitting with the staff interesting, as all too often the place looked like Hogwarts on formal days.
I'll explain what Hogwarts is later.
But then came the biggest surprise. A stallion stepped forward amongst them, his windswept face protected by a beard, and a faded golden mane atop his head.
Admittedly, he was now a bit older than in those images, but then again so was I. Of course he would have changed. He was now a decade older than he had been when they were taken, at least. I stood there, a confusing mixture of emotions whirling in my heart.
"Oh my hoofness," I said quietly, still trying to process what was going on. "It's him."
"Mom? What's going on?"
I had rather hoped it was obvious. After so long away from each other, I had finally found my one true love once again.
Hold on a minute. What had I just said?
One true love?
I hadn't even known this pony apart from a photograph and some second hand evidence. And yet somehow it felt as though I had spent a lifetime with them. Emotions and feelings utterly alien to my mind were arriving, and as much as reason was telling me this was nonsensical there was a part of me that wanted to run with it.
After all, back in the previous world I hadn't exactly been lucky with love. Love was something that seemed to escape me, as I struggled with socialising a lot.
And yet now the world was handing me a romance ready to go. A stable life. A chance to start anew.
Who cared if the genders were switched? If this was as it all seemed, I had finally found a significant other.
I was a little surprised when the Colonel spoke. "Your Majesty, should we let him closer?"
I noticed Zipp had moved a bit, presumably to let this figure forward, so I glanced back and forth. The first thing I noticed was that we were on a cliff edge. And it was a bit thin. Not exactly the most suitable of places for a romantic reunion, so I thought for a bit and then had an idea.
"Perhaps we should avoid doing this on a rocky ledge where there isn't much clearance," I said. "After all, it would be a shame if this reunion were cut short by falling off a mountain." Not to mention it would be a disaster for figuring out who would take the throne next. I doubt Pipp would be quite ready for the pressures of ruling a country, after all.
"Capital idea," Golden said, glancing over to one of his soldiers. "In fact, I know of just the facility we can use for getting caught up on our respective pasts. I imagine we have a lot to catch up on."
He looked over to one of the soldiers with him, the one who had spotted us first. "Captain Feldsturm, lead ourselves and the guests into The Nest."
After some movement we were on our way, and soon vanished from view from the outside world and into a maze of tunnels. These tunnels were seemingly full of wires and pipes, and appeared to serve some sort of purpose. Though was it military or industrial in nature? It wasn't all that clear, so I was keen to find out the answer to that one.
Lights glowed on the walls, lighting our way through the tunnels of this facility, and we turned many corners until we reached what appeared to be a central room. I spotted the room was filled with damaged aircraft, so this was some sort of airbase. But I hadn't spotted a runway on the way in, so I was very puzzled.
"Launch ramp, Your Majesty," one of the soldiers explained. "The aircraft would have been loaded onto a ramp, then connected to a catapault. This would then have launched the aircraft into the air at speed, eliminating the need for a runway. Allows us to keep the brain fryers off guard!"
Well, that was another one. It seemed that 'brain fryer' was another derogatory slur used for unicorns, alongside 'mind readers.' Based on my observations unicorns weren't able to do either.
Boy did we have our work cut out for us when this was all over.
In the meantime, we had stopped in what appeared to be a rest area. Tents and sleeping bags were set up on one side of the chamber, and on the other side were tables and what appeared to be food preparation facilities, useful if keeping an army fed. After all, an army marches on its stomach.
As we stopped, Golden turned to look at me, his face formed from the sort of happy smile two lovers would have after being separated for so, so long. "After all these years... I found you again," he said, his voice filled with joy. Well, why wouldn't they be? I was his wife, after all. "Merry... you're just as beautiful as the day I last saw you, all those years ago."
Well, things must be getting serious if he used my given name in front of others. Normally protocol required the use of titles instead of names. But this was hardly the place to be getting into niceties over small things like that.
We spent what felt like hours in that embrace, tears leaking down each other's faces. But as I say, not of sadness, but of joy. I also knew it was only a few minutes as I could see the base clock behind us.
After we were done, we stopped in position and talked for a bit about the facility, but we talked for a bit longer about how they managed to survive out here for all those years. Seems they are quite the resourceful bunch.
I did, however, detect a shift in tone partway through the conversation. "But enough about us," Golden said. "How are you two here?"
Well, time to spill the beans, so to speak. "Golden, there's been a coup in Zephyr Heights. Rogue portions of the military overthrew the government, and their leader is planning on bringing about the end of the world. I've been able to find allies to help up, so we were heading there when we got shot down."
"History truly does work in cycles," Golden mused.
What I was about to say was possibly the strangest sentence I had ever said. "I'm not asking you this next question as a ruler, but as your wife. Please... will you help us?" I never thought in all my years I would say that."
Luckily, Golden nodded. "Restoring order to our homeland and removing those who hurt you? Say no more. We're in."
Considering the supplies they had on hoof they put together a surprisingly good meal. We relaxed in the chairs after eating, whilst we all started swapping stories.
"How far things have come since I met you on the campus, eh?" Golden laughed. "I never thought I'd get the chance to meet royalty, and yet by the will of Faust there was a princess taking the same course as me. And get this- they wanted her to marry this stuffy duke from the north!"
Interesting. It seemed we met at university and I somehow wriggled my way out of an arranged marriage.
"I never knew that, sir," Opwinden said, as he glanced to his bottle. "Slightly emptier than before."
"Probably because you've been drinking from it," Zipp pointed out.
"Still, I'll always admire the way Merry succeeded in defying them. She bucked tradition and married for love- which surprised my parents, of course. In a few years I'd gone from nothing to a prince. But if what I recall of Zephyrina was anything to go by the apple didn't fall too far from the tree."
Princess marrying a commoner. Well, that's a satisfying inversion of the usual narrative. Normally it's the other way around in stories.
Once we were done, I headed to get my sleeping bag ready, before I suddenly spotted Golden heading for the exit. I put min down and decided to follow him out there, weaving down the tunnels in the same order I had arrived.
Once outside, I found him looking up at the night sky. "Stunning, isn't it?" he said, pointing a hoof upwards. "Imagine, for a moment, how long they have been there. The stars are the silent observers of the past of the universe, and yet the record of their stories survive in the light that we receive. In a sense, we are looking back into the past, as we always do."
He looked to me. "Did they ever get the observatory moved? The light pollution in Zephyr Heights was rarely low enough to do proper stargazing."
Truth be told I wasn't aware there was an observatory. Another thing to find- provided Gulfstream hadn't blown it up. "I'm not sure, actually."
Golden continued looking at the skies. "This is really a reminder of how small we truly are. Against the infinity of the cosmos, we are but specs, a player who frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. Shows it's important to value life, eh?"
He turned to me, his eyes filled with joy. "The skies may be beautiful... but they'll never be as beautiful as you."
He and I spent a few moments together, just in each other's company. I even got to enjoy my first kiss out of it too. It was a rather surreal experience. I had never really had much sense of a relationship with other people before. I'd dabbled in dating in high school, but that was about it really. I hadn't really been in the condition to commit to a long term relationship with another being.
And yet, this world had dropped all sorts of revelations. In the span of about 24 hours I had gone from a suspected widow to a married mare through the discovery he was still alive. I took the night as an opportunity to process what I had witnessed out there on the side of that mountain, and knew that, somehow, the direction my life was going in could always be made positive.
After all, I'd been propelled through dint of fate from a relative nobody to the leader of an incredibly powerful nation. I know the distinction was somewhat academic in that moment as that nutcase General had removed me from my throne and was running around as a King in all but name, all rather Cromwellian if I do say so myself. Kick out the existing monarch, rule as an effective monarch yourself.
I guess that's the irony of revolutions, I suppose. They tend to replace alleged tyranny with actual tyrants.
The artificial light in the chamber finally woke me from my sleep, and I yawned as I stretched my body out to free up any issues from lying on my back. I reached down to pull the zip on my sleeping bag down (noticing how it stuck to my hoof somehow- I must ask Zipp how that works), before sliding myself out of the sleeping bag.
"How was your night, dear?" Golden asked.
I sighed. "As good as one could hope for when in a sleeping bag," I replied. "I do look forward to sleeping in a proper bed again."
"Same here," Golden admitted. "Not only that, I could do with a trip to the barber. Managing this beard hasn't been easy with limited supplies."
I could only assume this was a consequence of being stuck out here. The photo that had first drawn my attention had shown him as clean shaven, but the lack of a razor out here probably hindered that process somewhat.
I shrugged and hot to my hooves. "Still, I was able to get some sleep, so there's that."
I then noticed Captain Feldsturm breathe in. Brace yourselfs...
"RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPYHEADS! WE MAKE READY TO MOVE IN ONE HOUR!"
I smiled internally. If nothing else, pegasi seem to be very good at shouting loudly. It must be something innate to us.
I began to gather up my supplies, very much aware that several days of not showering had begun to give me a rather distinct aroma. The one you get from not having washed for a while?
I sighed. I could only hope Gulfstream hadn't looted the pipes for the showers and melted them down into tank barrels or something like that.
Once we were done packing up, we got on our way, and bid farewell to the former airbase for the final time. I noticed Zippm join the formation further back. I could only assume she was just as confused as me, having so suddenly regained her other parent.
I didn't think I was at too much risk, though. Things had been oddly quiet, and the guards seemed to be a little more relaxed than before. A few even cracked jokes, which was an improvement over previous days.
Feldsturm didn't seem to approve. "Swordwind, do you hear the shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes?"
"No sir. I find it messes with my rhythm."
I suppressed a chortle- that was actually quite funny.
"Relax, Feldsturm," Golden said. "A joke every now and then never hurt anypony."
"Very well, sir."
As we wandered along, I quickly came to realise the weight on my back was a bit more than I'd expected, and I was having to exert more than I'd previously thought. "This isn't exactly what you'd call light," I said.
Golden laughed. "It is quite heavy. But such is the life of living in the mountains. It's a good thing we were able to get the running water working- without it we'd probably smell so awful Kirin would smell us long before we appeared." He paused. "But point the way and I shall gladly guide you there."
Another thought soon crossed my mind- what if Golden was another human? I seemed to have bumped into quite a few of them recently, and we all seemed to be here for a reason. And by reason I'm not alluding to the fact magic brought us here.
I meant a greater purpose. I mean, the universe didn't change me into a monarch of another species for a laugh, did it?
I then realised I had spaced out, as Golden was looking at me intently, waiting for me to reply. "In which case, we need to head towards the other lands."
Golden looked a bit surprised, but nodded regardless. "Very well."
After many hours of travel, we arrived at the bottom of the Peaks of Peril, with an open field stretching out before us. I suppressed a belch- it would be most improper, after all- and placed a hoof to my gut. "That was a solid walk," I said. "Helps to get the breakfast out. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but the ration pack was rather stodgy. I do rather like keeping my figure as it is."
I reflected on that for a second. Overall, in terms of build I was looking pretty good for a mare who had given birth twice (thank the stars I had arrived after that- pregancy on top of an alien body would have been far too much to cope with). OK, I did still have a bit of excess weight I could do with losing, but you know how it is- the media constantly report on our builds, so keeping a slim shape is pretty important.
Opwinden then chimed in. "If I may, Your Majesty, you have an exercise regime that would knock a soldier half your age flat."
Why, thank you Colonel.
Golden snorted with laughter. "Well one thing hasn't changed! But your point about the food stands. It's partly why we call them MRE- meals rarely edible."
After another brief chat, we then had hit the crunch point. The road led to the lands of the unicorns, so we had to head that way. Zipp was able to pursuade the rest of the party that we needed to head that way, and so we did.
But as we approached the border, we suddenly heard a tank column approaching. Dust was rising in the distance, and the sounds of engines and tracks soon echoed in the distance. They were approaching at speed, and we stopped. This could be a problem if they turned out to be hostile.
They came to a stop near us, and the hatch on the turret of one of them popped open. A soldier turned and looked at us, adjusting her earpieces and helmet. "As I live and breathe," she said. "Boys, it's the Royal Family!" She saluted us. "My greetings, Your Majesty and Your Royal Highnesses. What brings you here so far from Zephyr Heights?"
To our luck, this unit hadn't sided with Gulfstream during the coup. I could only imagine the carnage that would have resulted from units within the military turning on one another during that time. It must have been a frightening time for all concerned.
"We need transport to Bridlewood," I said quickly. "Can you get us there?"
The tank commander nodded. "It won't be an easy journey ma'am, but I can get you there. Those flak jackets and helmets will help you though."
Once we were all onboard, the tanks moved through a gap in the defensive wall that surrounded unicorn territory and drove deep into the forest. I doubt I could have driven one of these things through some of those gaps, but that was some skilled driving.
"Hope you got your tennis balls ready."
Later, we came to a stop, and we disembarked, before Zipp suddenly heard some noises in the distance and began to follow them.
I glanced back. "Let's follow her!"
The others nodded and began to follow. I moved as quickly as I could to keep pace with Zipp, but she had gotten a considerable head start, and I was struggling to keep up with the girl. Another reminder of my age, I guess.
I heard other sounds coming from a nearby clearing, so I made a beeline for that, rolling as I could to avoid a unicorn patrol. I slipped underneath and tried to move through, but unfortunately my tailbrace got snagged on something.
I pulled on it to get it free, and all Hell broke loose.
Once I was out of the bush I rolled into the floor with a bang, landing tail first. It's probably a good thing they don't seem to have much bone or muscle in it, as it breaking would probably be quite painful.
I groaned as I adjusted my posture. "Ouch!" I said. "I think that dislodged the tailbrace. Must ask Pipp to check it."
I looked over and, well, speak of Tirek! There was Pipp and all her friends! They were all safe! Throwing any regal dignity to the wind I dashed over as quickly as my hooves could carry me and pulled both my daughters into an embrace. "Thank Faust you're safe, Pipp!" I said, as both of them were returning the affection themselves. "You made it across the country to here on your own!"
Pipp's voice was a tad muffled from her mouth being somewhere on the other side of my neck, but it was clear. "Well, I had a little help from my friends," she said.
I smiled at that. Clearly that lot were good eggs after all, even if they had made something of a mess.
I just soaked up the moment, relieved to have them back in my embrace. "I'm just so glad to have my little fillies back. And there's an extra surprise for you too."
Well, time to spill the beans, I suppose. As we broke from physical contact I indicated to Golden, positioning my foreleg to help prop Pipp up if need be. Suddenly finding family members can be shocking, after all. "Pipp, this is going to be quite hard to believe... but this stallion is your father."
Golden smiled. "Hello, Pipp. It's been a while. Ten years to be precise."
Pipp raced over to him and more or less launched herself into an embrace. "I've missed you so much!" she said, whilst seemingly sobbing. It appeared she, too, somehow had repressed emotions similar to what I'd experienced when I'd first encountered that photograph. Otherwise how could have an emotional reaction to a pony she'd never met?
I smiled as I glanced over to Zipp. "Such a wonderful moment. I can tell you this from experience, Zipp, but there's nothing more wonderful than having a daughter."
"I presume that's why you decided to have two," Feldsturm joked.
I'll have to admit that was actually pretty funny. Though I was careful to use the restrained laugh I use in public. The other one is most improper for public settings.
I then reminded Zipp with a quick look not to bring up the fact Golden's wife and daughters had been replaced.
Just then, Alphabittle and his troops arrived, along with a tank.
Alphabittle seemed to take particular offense to the Colonel. "His ancestors commanded the death squads that exterminated untold numbers of unicorns! For him to come here is the gravest of insults!"
"I'm pretty certain hooves are bloody on both sides of this fight," I retorted. "None of this entitles you to the crystal!"
"What would a silly old mare like you know about crystals?" Alphabittle countered. "A decrepid old fool desperately holding onto a false crown, underpinned by the recollection and veneration of an imagined past." There was something on his voice that wasn't there in the film. True, burning hatred.
Hatred of pegasi.
Hatred of me.
Before I could speak, Golden Skies did. "You can't talk to her like that!"
"And who would you be?" Alphabittle smirked. "A lacky?"
"No, her husband," Golden Skies replied.
A unicorn's jaw dropped. "That means that Queen Haven is that stallion's wife!"
There was some slow, sarcastic clapping from Zipp. "The floor is also made of floor."
Alphabittle shook his head. "You have terrible taste in mares." He smiled. "My ancestors smile on me, pegasus. Can you say the same?"
"Seeing as we duelled in the past and I survived a helicopter crash, I'd say yes," Golden answered.
"What?" I asked, confused. Those two had history?
Alphabittle's jaw dropped. "No way... you married a fighter pilot?"
"We had a bit of a dogfight over unicorn turf during the last lot 25 years ago, before we married," Golden said quickly, assuming this was just a bit of his military past I didn't know about, not that I was suddenly married to a fighter ace. This was all getting very odd very quickly.
"That explains the plane in the museum foyer!" Zipp said. "It was yours!"
"The old Tornado? They've still got it on display?" Golden laughed. "It was a nice aircraft I will admit."
The conversation was suddenly interrupted by a rumbling noise. I glanced down and noticed it was coming from my stomach. "Oh, my apologies. That was most improper."
"Getting peckish, are we?" Alphabittle said, sarcastically.
I looked at him, confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"
The old unicorn laughed, continually showing that frustratingly smug face. "Well, I knew not even a queen could suppress her species primal urges for very long," he said. His face then turned serious. "Unicorns are quite bony."
"I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about," I said, utterly confused. Hunger, unicorns being bony- it was all a series of non sequiturs. Non sequitur, by the way, is old ponish for 'it does not follow.' It is usually used to refer to an argument where the conclusion does not logically follow from the premise. For example;
1. A pony who has a gold plated phone must be Pipp Petals. 2. That pony has a gold plated phones. 3. Therefore, that pony is Pipp Petals.
Point three does not follow from points one or two, as many ponies have gold plated phones.
But I digress. A unicorn finally clarified what Alphabittle meant. "Stop denying it. We all know pegasi are cannibals."
Ah. Well, there was that one line in one of the songs where Izzy claimed pegasi 'eat their young.' How in the world would that be productive? If pegasi ate their foals they'd run out of foals very quickly and die out!
Alphabittle snorted. "Good one! Now, give me the cry-"
He stopped speaking when I shot him a glare that could melt a pot of ice cream. "Alphabittle Blossomforth," I said, emphasising every syllable as if I were telling an unruly foal off. "I see absolutely no reason to comply with any demand you have made of me. You have done nothing but insult me, my husband, and my daughters, all of whom have done absolutely nothing to you. If this is how diplomacy is conducted around here no wonder we're divided. I am only prepared to talk when you're prepared to act like an adult. So you'd better grow up quickly, or we'll be getting nowhere."
The look on his face was priceless.
"Remind me to never tick mom off," Pipp said to Zipp.
"Now then, as we were say-"
Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by Pipp's phone buzzing the alert tone, so she took a look. "Broadcast from the Government?" she said.
We all crowded around the screen and saw the familiar face of General Gulfstream on the monitor. He had gone even further down the typical wardrobe of a dictator, and his face had a sickening glee to it.
"Fellow citizens," he said. "Even as our new government works to rebuild our glory, there are those loyal to the Old Order, the False Queen, who would see us plunged into the chaos of the old world. Protests have erupted, and the state, which only wants to save and protect you, has been challenged. This. Cannot. Stand!"
It cut to footage of a city on fire. Planes were flying overhead, dropping bombs on their targets.
"This was the city of Staltenberg. It's leadership and mayor stood against us, and against order. So we turned them into an example of what happens to those who stand against us."
It cut back to him. "Make no mistake. We know where the rebels are. We will find you and we will kill you. None shall stand in the way of our glorious future."
The message faded out once more.
"He's insane," I whispered.
"Pretty much the usual," a unicorn said unhelpfully.
I shot him a death glare before looking to Alphabittle. This situation had rather forced my hoof, but I knew I had no choice. I had dealt with the pony first hoof, and knew how unstable he was. "I know our two species don't exactly have the best of relations. But we have to stop General Gulfstream before he gets his hooves on the launch codes!"
"And why should we help, given what you've done?" Alphabittle replied.
"Because the alternative is nuclear armageddon," I replied simply. "If we don't stop him, we all die. What say you?"
There was an awkward pause during the conversation, before he replied. "Fine. We'll send some military assets to assist."
That was easier than expected. I turned, switching my tone of voice. "Make ready to march! We head for Zephyr Heights!"
For the first time in a very long time, two pony tribes were working together.
