> Ascension, Abdication, or Abduction?
>  by RoshiRat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> 1. Three Week Streak
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Throughout history, no matter where you were, Earth's sunrise was stated to be a sight to behold. From the first sliver of amber light smouldering against the darkness to the fully risen orb of fire and fury. Depending on the cloud cover, the time of year, or your geographical position, you could watch various colours such as pinks, blues, and violets transition across the sky over a period of hours.

Unfortunately for Neil, Equestria wasn't on Earth as far as he knew. Sunrise here was a quick and seamless transition spanning less than a minute. The sun came to a halt in a mid-morning position, allowing light to spread across the land and dissipate all but the most persistent of shadows. This included multiple beams of light spearing between the wooden slats of his current home. No matter his position, one beam always managed to bombard his eyes at just the right angle, irritating him to the point of wakefulness.

With a groan, Neil shifted his neck from side to side until his muzzle was no longer buried under his leg, and the light no longer assaulted his eyes. For a fleeting moment, thoughts of returning to sleep flickered in his mind. But then the rest of his stiff and aching body kicked in, reminding him of the effects brought about by a whole night's rest in a shipping crate. He needed to move, extra sleep be damned.

He fully uncurled from his sleeping position, not unlike a dog, and stretched as much as his crate would allow. As multiple muscles and joints popped in series, a soothing sensation spread over his body. He'd been a pony for about three weeks at this point, and not once had he ever dealt with something like this as a human. If not for his sleeping arrangement, he might have been worried about the health of his current body.

With some of the stiffness worked out of his muscles, he plopped down on his rump and lifted a hoof to a particular board. He carved a line with his hoof into the soft pine wood every morning. Today would be the 23rd line. "Almost a whole damned month in this place," He growled before clearing his throat. One month of confusion, survival, and a growing sense of paranoia while living on the streets.

He could dwell on that later. He spun around like a cat and looked over the other half of his home. Compared to his standard of living as a human, it was pathetic. A matching shipping crate was pulled against his sleeping compartment to make the enclosure slightly more weatherproof. It mainly acted as a door, keeping him hidden from the weekly garbage collector that walked by with a cart. It also doubled as his food storage.

Unfortunately, the only thing sitting at the base of his food crate was an empty garbage bag. He'd stolen that particular bag from a dumpster on Restaurant Row two days ago. It had been full of vegetable scraps and leftover salads at the time. Still, he'd unintentionally finished it off the previous night. That small oversight left him with nothing for breakfast this morning, and his stomach protested with a whimpering gurgle. On the other hand, what little there was last night had tasted... off. Either way, it wouldn't be the first time he'd gone without food since waking up here.

He pushed a single hoof into the small gap between the crates. With less strength than what would have been required as a human, the shipping crates split apart. Once there was an ample gap, he bit down on the empty garbage bag, doing his best to ignore the faint taste of spoiled salad dressing, and hopped into his back alley.

It would be easy to discreetly dump the bag in a random garbage can, take care of some personal business, then be on his way. Ponies only used the main streets in this city, with only the rare flyer passing by overhead. The main question on his mind, however, was where to scout.

Besides the two crates he used for sleeping, he managed to liberate five more from the Skyport during his stay in Canterlot. It was easy enough to watch and learn how the gold-plated ponies patrolled the poorly guarded storage yard full of empty crates. Moving the shipping crates was more challenging, but the hassle was worth it. Those five outposts had been strategically placed, allowing him to watch and, thanks to his increased hearing as a pony, eavesdrop on the public as they walked by. Ponies were surprisingly oblivious to the new additions, and not a single crate had been touched so far.

Three crates were placed near food sources, and given his lack of food, he'd be dumpster diving after dark. Despite the bag in his mouth, he grinned. Tonight would be the opposite of healthy, and his stomach growled approvingly.


~~~


The city of Canterlot held itself to a strict routine. The sun would rise at far-too-early in the morning, acting as an alarm clock for most citizens. After that, the average pony would take their sweet time freshening up, have an excellent breakfast, and prepare for another day.

It was the outliers that Neil had to watch out for when making his way toward any of his scouting positions. These were the night shift workers tiredly plodding their way home or a pony racing to open their shop early for the morning rush. On top of that were the ever-present patrols, which could be spotted from a mile away due to their gleaming golden armour. He always had to keep a wary eye when crossing a main road to avoid being spotted.

This is why Neil found himself jogging up to his outpost near Canterlot's primary market. It was the same size as the crates he used for his home, making it cozy to sit in but little more. Unlike the containers he used for his home, one of the eye-level wooden boards had been broken off about four inches from the frame. This allowed for a much clearer view when spying on the citizenry.

It also allowed him to watch his primary target for the upcoming evening. Like most of the businesses here, the front face of the building had a smooth stucco finish of pale purple with gold-trimmed windows. Neil was pretty sure each city district had to adhere to a strict colour scheme, and the market's theme was purple and gold. To differentiate itself, this building also had pink stars and diamonds evenly painted between the windows and the front entrance. There was also the giant pink donut mounted above the golden overhang. The overhang doubled as a sign, reading Donut Joe's in a formal script.

A closed sign was placed in the corner of a ground-floor window, yet there was still movement inside the building. A tan male, or stallion as they preferred, with darker brown hair and a tail was trotting from the kitchen to the main counter. This, Neil presumed, was Joe. And Joe was a pony that broke the laws of physics every time he came out of the back. Trays laden with baked goods, primarily donuts, would float alongside the stallion in a forest-green aura. The very same aura emanated from his horn.

Joe belonged to the most common pony type in Canterlot called unicorns. Unicorns, from everything Neil had gleaned from his spying, could use magic. Or the natural ability to lift objects with telekinesis, which they attributed to magic. The thought of his science and physics teacher, Mr. Blanc, learning that such an ability could exist had kept Neil entertained for an hour or so more than once.

From the information Neil overheard, every unicorn had telekinesis. Most could also make light from their horn, with varying degrees of brightness. The unicorn guards he'd spotted patrolling at night were proof of that. But he also heard each unicorn had unique tricks, or spells, that were somehow tied to the brand on their hips. So far, he hadn't seen an example of such.

Pegasus ponies, as they were called, had the second most common ability though saying they were common was a stretch. They were mostly guards flying above the city as little more than golden flecks of light. Out of all the ponies, these were the ones that kept his paranoia on high alert during the day. They could fly right over and spot him without warning if he walked through an empty back alley. They were the main reason he camped out most of the day and did most of his work at night. He'd also heard snippets about pegasi working with the weather, usually from a unicorn complaining about shoddy work. He assumed that a pegasus could fly up to a cloud and, after checking whether it was a storm, somehow gauge its severity?

Finally, the third and rarest type of pony without a horn or wings was called an earth pony. While Neil hated his current predicament, even he felt some sympathy for the magicless, most human-like of the bunch. After weeks of scouting, he only knew about four in the entire city of Canterlot. One worked at the Skydock, carrying full and empty crates on her back. The second he'd only spotted once, momentarily, as they pulled a cart with unicorn passengers. The last two were guards that patrolled during the day.

Despite that, even they had a trick or two of their own. They were the strongest and most durable type of pony on average, or so it was claimed. It was also stated multiple times that they grew food better than the other ponies. On the other side of the scale, they were looked down on by some of the upper class in the city. He'd heard them being called Dirt Ponies and Mud Shovellers on two occasions. Both times it was a unicorn that looked to have a full evergreen tree shoved up their ass, so Neil wrote them off as rich racist bastards.

Still, it painted a grim picture where earth ponies were shunted to being lower-class citizens and forced to work on farms. Experience alone could explain their increased physical fitness and exceptional agriculture skills. Would that be enough to create a cycle of confirmation bias? If they were all stuck on farms, that would also explain why earth ponies were rare in Canterlot. They were only used for jobs that required physical labour.

Neil broke from his mental review, wishing for the unknownth time he had a pen and paper to write it all down as he watched Joe trot up to the window and flip the closed sign to open. He usually opened up a few minutes before six in the morning, meaning the worker rush was about to hit... now.

Like clockwork, the morning rush swelled into the market district like every other day. Some of the herd would divert into Joe's shop while the rest passed on by. Barely any of these ponies would be window shopping or chatting to pass the time. But above the din of pounding hooves on cobblestone, Neil caught a word here and there. More fractured complaints about the weather pegasi? The weather being late today?

Between the snippets of gossip, Neil would watch Joe through the window when it wasn't obstructed by the crowd. Joe would greet every single customer with a smile, though most of his customers were women, or mares as they were called. He seemed to know all his regulars because he'd usually have their order ready by the time each mare was at the counter. A quick exchange of gold coins and most ponies would walk back out, likely to their job.

A few more casually dressed mares, or those without any clothing, tended to linger through the morning rush. Usually, they would stand by the counter and chat until the next customer walked in, or they would take up one of the nearby tables after paying for their order to enjoy their breakfast.

Despite all of the information he could gather in this spot, there was a reason why he also loathed camping out in this particular spot. And he was reminded of that fact every time Joe turned around to get something off the shelf. Mares blatantly stared at his ass, appreciating him like a savoury, high-end steak. Others tried to be slightly more sneaky, glancing up from their meals. Even mares outside of his shop would slow down to enjoy the view.

However, what confused him the most to this day was the fact that Joe enjoyed the attention. Occasionally, he would swish his tail to the side, flashing his junk to the entire store!

If that wasn't blatant enough, just three nights ago, an honest to god musical number paraded through Restaurant Row as he snuck through a nearby back ally for food. That such a spectacle could happen out of the blue shocked his system. Add random ponies popping out of windows to join with instruments or backup vocals, with little to no warning on top of that? It was pure insanity! It was also horrifying when some instinctual part of his new pony body kept urging him to join in on the song. He had to mentally focus, ignoring the compulsion in his head, and force his hooves to move away from the musical until it disappeared.

But the absolute worst of it all was the content they were singing about.

Neil assumed it was after a successful date because the group of five mares was singing about finally finding a stallion for their herd to take care of. Most of the song was about sappy, informative hardships and the perseverance of finally finding a stallion. But one of the five, an orange pegasus with fiery red hair, kept popping in with salacious innuendos about the guy's stamina, the size of his massive schlong, and how he was a stud that could last in their bed for very prolonged sessions.

All of this was brought about by one significant difference between Equestria and his home, which both disgusted and terrified Neil. It all came down to a cursed four-to-one ratio Neil kept hearing about. Birthrates, on average, consisted of four mares to every stallion in Canterlot. Despite being more robust and durable, stallions were a desired resource to be protected at all costs. To put it bluntly, stallions were seen as little more than breeding stock to be taken care of and protected by the mares of the world.

More than any other, that reason was why he even had a stay hidden at any cost policy. Hell, he was only twenty-three! He could barely picture himself in a stable relationship with one woman, let alone five of them!

The morning rush would typically last a few hours, thinning to a slow crawl near the end. This generally led to a slight lull in business, allowing Neil to properly piece together anything he heard. Today a storm was late, and it was somehow the fault of the weather ponies. Scrunching down in his crate to angle himself correctly, Neil could barely see a sliver of gray sky between Joe's roof and the top of his box. At some point between six and eight A.M., cloud cover had blown in. That still begged the question of how a storm could be late and why it was the fault of the pegasi?

The only other shred of information related to little more than celebrity gossip. Some Fluer-De-Something French mare was caught flirting with yet another mare. He would hear more about that rumour in mind-numbing detail later, as much as he didn't want to.

Neil knew it was nearly lunchtime when all the upper-class ponies, almost exclusively well-dressed unicorns, finally deigned to join the remaining working-class peasants in the market. Neil guessed that one of the perks of being a rich snob was the ability to sleep in, right? But even the elite couldn't avoid the allure of Donut Joe's as the odd pair started to trickle in.

Just as the lunchtime window shopping began, something unexpected broke his well-established schedule.

A small group of posh-sounding ladies were chatting in front of the jewellery store his crate was parked against. One of the mares was going on about how she was actually at the party Fleur-De-Lis attended because, of course, she and her husband were invited and how the Prench mare kissed some upstart unicorn model from Fillydelphia that obviously did not belong, in front of her stallion no less!...

Neil silently groaned, adding two more horse-punned locations to the ever-growing mental map of the world.

At the same time, another pair of unicorn mares, dressed in wealthy-looking gowns, were gossiping in front of Joe's. They were too far for Neil to listen in on, but he knew it wasn't essential with the way they would occasionally raise a hoof to giggle or glance at Joe's ass through the glass. He wrote them off until one of the mares stopped mid-sentence.

Her large eyes went from the glass to the ground, staring at something in absolute shock. Her companion also looked and mirrored her friend's appearance almost immediately. Within a second, without warning to any nearby ponies, they ran beyond Neil's limited view away from the market district.

The nearby group of gossipers went silent as well.

Suddenly there was a large, wet plap as a fat raindrop struck the top of his wooden crate. A few seconds later, a second hit.

The sporadic start lasted for a minute, giving most ponies just enough warning to duck into a nearby building. This included Donut Joe's, which was happy enough to accommodate more customers just as the clouds above finally relented and unleashed their payload. This left only the most stubborn of ponies galloping through the streets.

At this point, Neil learned something valuable about the crates he stole. They were very water resistant. He couldn't claim they were waterproof with the one board he broke off and an entire side open to the elements. Still, despite the odd drop splashing against his muzzle through the peephole and his drenched butt, he was surprisingly dry. He didn't even feel cold, which he attributed to his fur coat.

Thankfully the clouds above weren't a full-on thunderstorm. There was no flash of lightning or any hint of thunder beyond the downpour. This storm was a consistent but dreary shower that went on and on. To the point that Neil was bored enough to watch his tail shift and flow with the water streaming further into the back alley.

What felt like hours passed before Neil finally dozed off to the thought of freshly baked donuts...


~~~


With a suspiciously horse-like snort, Neil startled awake. The first thing he noticed, besides the fact that his crate was much darker, was the ongoing rain. The drumming of his box sounded as fast as he remembered earlier. Hinting that the same consistent downpour had lasted the entire day. The second thing he noticed, thanks to the street lamp just out of sight and the amber light above Joe's door, was the green open sign had been flipped to closed. Peering through the water-drenched windows, he saw a tan and white blur hovering over the wooden tables. That was Joe, and he was probably wiping them down for the evening.

Neil's anticipation grew by the minute as Joe finished wiping down the tables and countertops. Once he was back behind the counter, the stallion levitated a clipboard and pencil toward himself. Joe took inventory of all the various pastry leftovers after the day's sales. Then, like a well-oiled machine, he set the clipboard aside, unfolded a new trash bag, and emptied all his old stock from the shelves.

That single reason was why, out of all the ponies Neil knew by name or looks, he liked Joe the most. Compared to every other restaurant and diner in the city, Joe made rummaging through his dumpster a quick and easy task. It took less than a minute to flip the lid up, snag the bag, and be on his way without any digging required.

His stomach was at a near-constant rumble as he continued to watch. Though he was loathe to admit it, even he couldn't deny the best thing about being a pony. Whether it was skill, magic, or just his new taste buds, the food here was an almost euphoric experience. 

Donuts and coffee were never his morning ritual, but he liked Tim Hortons when it was suggested. If asked, he would have been hard-pressed to name a better donut. After devouring day-old Donut Joe's out of a dumpster? Tim Hortons was a distant second at best. It wasn't even in the same league. When he managed to return home, it would be a dreadful experience getting used to regular food again.

The only reason he didn't raid Joe's dumpster every night was his paranoia. And the thought of dying from pony diabetes. But mainly paranoia.

When the trays were cleared, Joe tied off the bag and put it aside. He removed each tray, set them in a stack, and attacked each shelf with a cleaning rag. Only after everything up front was thoroughly wiped down did he go into the back with all the metal trays and the bag full of old food floating behind him in his aura.

Despite his growling hunger, Neil stayed in his crate. Joe usually took half an hour to an hour to finish cleaning the kitchen and take care of any other chores in his bakery. After that, the stallion would lock up and leave. Once that happened, then Neil could leave his spot and claim his dinner for tonight. He only hoped it wouldn't be too soggy, or better yet, the rain could quit before Joe took out the trash.

After roughly forty-five minutes, luck wasn't on Neil's side as the rain continued. He felt another jolt of excitement when Joe walked out of the kitchen wearing green boots, a matching raincoat, and holding a black umbrella with his telekinesis. Apparently, he knew about the rain ahead of time and planned accordingly. Joe opened the door with his telekinesis, then floated his umbrella out and popped it open. Only then did he exit the building, turn around, and lock the door.

When Joe stepped away from the door, Neil started counting down from two hundred under his breath. Was it overly paranoid? Yes. But stupid little policies like that kept him hidden from the ponies.

Once he reached zero, Neil slipped from his mostly dry crate into the rain. A small part of him noted that this was his first shower since he'd woken up as a pony. He would have preferred a nice, hot, relaxing one instead. But the rain was surprisingly not cold, and he could almost imagine all the grime he'd collected in his scraggly gray coat simply washing away. Unfortunately, he didn't need to imagine his tangled black hair, guided by the rain, washing down into his eyes.

It took time, but he managed to remove that annoyance with his hooves and 'not-wrists'. Without any further hindrance, he cautiously walked up to the entrance of the back alley. Once there, he poked his muzzle out. A quick look both ways revealed no errant ponies running home or the golden armour of a guard patrol despite the rain making everything hazy. And if there was a pony or a patrol? The rain gave him just as much cover. Releasing a breath, he darted across the open street. He pressed his side against Donut Joe's when he was around the corner and listened.

Neil couldn't precisely control his radar-like pony ears, but they seemed to know what to do on their own most of the time. Now was one such example as he felt them rotate, trying to pick up any cries of alarm or fright. When none were found, he audibly exhaled. He wasn't spotted. Only then did he relax, taking a deep breath to enjoy the mixed scent of Joe's bakery and fresh rain.

He did his best to ignore his own wet pony smell.

Neil trotted to the dumpster, refocused on why he was there. During his first days, dumpsters were an annoying inconvenience. Most were designed with telekinesis in mind, with only a dirty handle attached to the lid. Since he couldn't use telekinesis, he was forced to use his muzzle. He couldn't count the number of times he gagged after accidentally pressing his nose or lips against an unsanitary surface that first week. Or the times he carelessly bumped his horn against the metal lid, leaving him with a throbbing headache when he returned home.

Now he didn't spare a second thought as he used his muzzle to burrow under the handle and lift it. He took a moment to glare at the tip of his useless horn. If he could only figure out how to activate his telekinetic powers, this part of the job would be a breeze.

Once the lid was high enough for Neil to fit his entire head in, he angled his head far enough so his horn wouldn't get caught against the lip and pushed in. He shivered as the edge of the lid lightly scraped against the grooves of his horn but didn't stop until his chest was pressed against the side of the metal dumpster.

Generally, by this point, his nose would be pressed into a pile of trash, with the bag he wanted sitting at the top. This time he felt nothing but air, which was odd, but he brushed it off as a change in schedule. He made a note to keep his eyes and ears open for surprise visits near his home, but that was a later problem. His stomach growled ferociously, redirecting him back to the food he sought. He reared up on his back legs and worked his front legs over the lip to pull himself further in.

A disturbed snicker managed to escape his lips. He couldn't see anything, but he probably looked like some deranged horse mounting the poor dumpster.

He swung his muzzle back and forth around the interior, lightly brushing against metal on his left and nothing on his right. After each pass, he would push himself a little harder. Straining his neck and nose down a little further... He was just starting to think this dumpster was empty when he felt his nose brush against a trash bag. Bingo. Now if he could push just a little more and bite down on...

His back legs were stretched precariously, and his front hooves were firmly pressed against the inside of the dumpster, fighting for every single millimetre of reach. It was just enough for his teeth to bite down on the bag.

At that point, Murphy's Law caught up with him.

This was his first storm as a pony, meaning this was also his first time dealing with rain-drenched hooves trying to keep traction on rain-drenched cobblestone. In Neil's moment of victory, he'd overextended as his right back hoof slipped.

Neil lost stability, and his gut reaction was to brace his front legs. This inadvertently pulled him in further with the help of gravity, and he fell head-first into the trash bag full of pastries. His body and back limbs followed into the dumpster, as each of his hooves caused multiple metallic clangs. The heavy lid slammed down after him with a resounding bang, and he found himself lying on the damp metallic floor of the dumpster.

He groaned loudly, primarily due to his stupidity more than any pain. This was the second time he found himself in a dumpster, though this was the first time it was done unintentionally. On the bright side, his muzzle was firmly pressed into his target. His back end, however, had the distinct displeasure of laying in a layer of something slimy. Neil hoped that it was extra frosting that leaked at some point, and not something more disgusting before refocusing his thoughts. He needed to gather his meal, hop out, and return home. Easy as apple pie... or an apple fritter, in this case. Hopefully.

He just needed to straighten out his position, roll onto his stomach, and get his hooves underneath himself... but as he completed that final step, his ears locked onto a new noise. It was faint but distinct enough beyond the rain drumming against the lid. Multiple hard somethings slamming against something else, and it was getting louder. It took a few seconds for him to discern that it was hooves galloping against the stone. He froze, only allowing himself slow and silent breaths.

'It's just some poor Bastard caught in the rain and taking a shortcut,' Or so he hoped, as the hooves charged closer. He just had to wait for them to pass by, and everything would be... Was the pony slowing down? The clip-clop splash transitioned from a gallop to a trot, a walk, and finally, a standstill. Neil was starting to freak out internally when a second set of hooves landed solidly nearby on the other side of the dumpster. 'Two ponies!? Why the hell did they stop in the middle of an alley? And out of all the fucking alleys in Canterlot, why this one!?'

His answer came far quicker than he would have liked when a strict, no-nonsense female voice tore through the rain. "Private Echo! Would you kindly tell me why I had to chase your flank down this alley through the rain?"

The mare was quickly answered by another one with an unusual accent. It struck him as an even blend of Spanish and Scandinavian, which he had never heard before in Canterlot. "I apologize, Ma'am, yet there was a series of banging only a moment ago." Private Echo reported. "I fear it might have been the creature!"

Neil filed that away as important information as he held his breath. An unknown creature was on the loose, and the guards were tasked to find it. Of course, his clumsy ass went and alerted some jumpy private. Now he had to avoid both, somehow, with his food!

"I know not to underestimate your hearing Echo," The first guard conceded, "However, that doesn't give you permission to rush off and abandon your partner without saying anything beforehoof. Understood?"

There was a long pause. The longer Neil held his breath, the faster his heartbeat climbed. It was starting to become a struggle before she finally responded. He took advantage of her words to silently mask his exhale. 

"I fear you are right, Corporal Hearth. I shall warn you next time before I am to rush off, yes?"

He regained only half a lungful of air when she finished her question, but that would have to do while he waited for the two mares to leave. Then he could go back home, and everything would be fine. Any moment now, he'd listen to their hooves clacking against the cobblestone, preferably going back the way they came from, and-

Suddenly there was a squeak of metal hinges, and he felt rain splattering against him from the neck up.

"'Tis a stallion?" Private Echo called out, confused, as she floated above the dumpster with the lid held in her hoof.

Neil looked straight up into the radar green eyes of a brand new pony type. He noted multiple unique traits for later evaluation in their moment of joint surprise. She had average, pony-sized wings that defied the laws of physics like a pegasus. Still, they were a bat-like membrane instead of feathered like an ordinary pegasus. Her eyes were slitted like a cat's and might have also been reflective. Last but not least, she wasn't wearing golden armour. No, what little he could see in the dark and rain was made of some purple, leather-like substance with navy blue accents.

He was the first to shake off his surprised terror as his fight or flight instincts flared, urging his body to react on its own accord. Like a wound spring, his legs kicked out, going from prone to a leap in a blink of an eye. His larger body quickly knocked aside the confused bat pony mare, causing her to wobble and slam into the wall. The dumpster lid once more came down with a loud bang!

His landing was less than graceful as he sprawled atop a normal golden guardsmare. But he was quick to his hooves and shot off before either guard regained their bearings. It was bad enough that he had to abandon his bag of pastries at the bottom of that damnable dumpster, but first, he had to get away! He couldn't be caught by the crown royals. He was an alien. They'd execute him, turn him into a breeding stud, or make him into a lawn ornament if those particularly ludicrous rumours were true!

His ears swivelled on their own as a second set of hooves slammed into the cobblestone at full gallop. A quick look back revealed the golden mare he assumed was Corporal Hearth giving chase. She was close enough to keep him on his toes, but he wasn't worried with a fifteen-ish foot gap between them. What bothered him was the distinct lack of green eyes and purple armour that had him internally freaking out.

Something about this chase smelled rotten besides his wet, garbage-drenched fur.

After the dressing down Corporal Hearth gave, he didn't think the golden-clad mare would abandon her partner so quickly. The bat mare, Private Echo, was still in play, but where? She should have been chasing him. Hell, she would have caught him by now if she flew even half as fast as a pegasus. But she wasn't there.

His next thought was aerial recon. His head twitched to look upwards, but he caught himself. He couldn't afford to take his giant pony eyes off the road or have them battered by rain. If Private Echo acted as overwatch, his only hope was for the winds to push her around and the rain to obscure her view.

The third and final option was for her to fly ahead and block the exit. That would also explain why Corporal Hearth wasn't pushing herself to gain ground. Was she herding him into her partner? That had to be it. It was the most logical plan since there were no side exits in this particular back ally. Neil narrowed his eyes.

"I don't know who you are," Corporal Hearth yelled placatingly over the rain, "Or why you're running, but if you just slow down we can help! Sir!"

'Hell fucking no, you can't!' He yelled internally as the alleyway exit emerged from the rain. Surprisingly, he couldn't see Private Echo waiting for him. But that didn't mean she wasn't there, ready and waiting to ambush him. He tensed and took the corner sharply, ready and willing to shoulder-check the mare if she pounced at him. Or buck her off if she landed on his back. Neither happened.

Instead, he found himself on a direct course for a street lamp. He managed to weave around it with some desperately quick hoof work, only losing a few black hairs to the post's decorative filigree. He was now out in the open, on one of the main roads of the market district. But he knew where he was as he caught sight of a nearby shop called Shale's Shingles. He was currently heading north, and there was another alleyway entrance only a block and a half away. An alleyway that started straight, then abruptly curved with the mountain before intersecting with another alleyway. In other words, his best shot at losing his tail.

Thinking of his tail, the noise of her hooves became clear again. Or as clear as they could be in the rain, leading him to believe she had just exited the alleyway. Without looking back, he took a moment to politely yell his formal response to her earlier plea. "Fuck off!"

Whether she took the corner too sharp, lost her footing on the slick cobblestones, or it was pure dumb luck, the rhythm of her hooves seemed to falter. Neil capitalized on that mistake, putting as much distance as possible between them. There was even a hint of smug victory as her hooves became more distant. But he couldn't get cocky. He angled himself and crossed the road. There was little chance she wouldn't see him duck into the upcoming alleyway, so increasing the gap by any means possible was his top priority.

And after he lost her? 'Take the long way home. Keep a look out for flyers. Avoid open areas. Get back home. Avoid Joe's for at least a month... That last one is going to fucking suck.'

However, he had to focus on the here and now. He timed it in his mind. 

3. 
He wove around a sign advertising Marigold's Timeless Perennials, left out on the street by a lazy store owner. 

2. 
Fifteen feet away, less than two full running cycles before the corner. 

1. 
His muscles tensed, ready to push off like a spring in a new direction.

0. 
Neil sprung off the stone walkway, his body angled to cut into the alleyway at full speed. As he passed the corner of the flower shop, his eyes widened in shock. Standing there, less than a body length away, was a muscular white mountain of a pegasus pony covered in golden armour. The stallion's blue eyes widened in shock as Neil soared through the air mid-leap. With all four hooves off the ground, he had neither the time nor the ability to veer off course before his unprotected chest slammed into unyielding metal armour. He could almost hear the popping and cracking of his forward shoulder joints as his breath was forced from his body. Or were those ribs breaking? He couldn't quite tell as his momentum dragged the guard with him toward the ground.

The realist in him would have assumed the situation was salvageable, even if he had to scrap his current plan. The optimist in him would have hoped the stallion would stay down while he ran off into the rain. Maybe Corporal Hearth would be unfortunate enough to trip over him as well? Unfortunately, neither happened as his skull and, by extension, his horn slammed into the ground.

Agony. Pure, unfiltered agony reverberated throughout Neil's entire horn and directly into his brain. He knew little else as his mind was overwhelmed with unending waves of pain, and his brain went haywire. Limbs thrashed and spasmed, clashing uselessly against the metal-adorned guard he was tangled with.

The guard found himself in a moderately better position. Yes, he was sent tumbling when a random pony crashed into him. Yes, his wing was crushed painfully between the ground and his armour as he rolled onto his back. But it was nothing compared to the skull-splitting crack, followed by the short, wailing scream from the stallion above him. Whether the guard recognized the symptoms in a fraction of a second or did so just to protect himself, he latched onto Neil with all of his legs and a single wing. Doing his absolute best to prevent his assailant's limbs from thrashing about.


~~~******~~~


This was the chaotic scene Corporal Hearth found herself in as she turned the corner. Luckily she could bring herself to a complete halt before she collapsed on top of the pile. However, her horn erupted with an amber glow with a fellow guard in trouble. She quickly tapped her horn against the flailing stallion's back, allowing her magic to fully encase and lock him in place. Only after the runner stopped moving and she could step back did she recognize the large, muscular pegasus underneath as he slowly untangled himself. "Private Bulk Order, what happened?"

"I think he hit his horn, Ma'am." He told her with his deep, country accent as he did his best to slip around the other stallion's frozen legs. "I was patrolling this alley when I heard yelling, so I went to check it out when..." He paused, eyes wide as he just managed to pull far enough away and get a good look at his assailant. "What the fluff! Wings!?"

"Ignore that for now. You said he hit his horn?" She asked Private Bulk urgently, looking between him and the runner. She could feel his muscles sporadically straining against her containment spell. The runner's eyes were also rolled back from the pain, another clear sign of a disrupted horn. Once Bulk Order gave her a nod of confirmation, she closely examined the runner's horn. The impact area was easy to spot, with a quarter-bit-sized chunk shaved off midway down. That wasn't so bad. Unfortunately, she also spotted a hairline crack that started from the impact site and stopped two inches further down his horn. Corporal Hearth winced, just imagining what the poor stallion was going through.

Near the end of her inspection, Corporal Hearth noted the sound of another pony landing behind her. Since Private Bulk didn't react, she concluded her examination before turning around. As expected, her partner was there standing at the ready. "Private Echo, I need you to fly to the castle. Tell the infirmary staff we have a stallion suffering from a cracked horn."

Instead of taking off right away, her thestral subordinate tilted her head with a look of confusion. "Would it not be faster for me to report to the nearest district clinic?"

"Normally I would agree," Corporal Hearth conceded. Still, she didn't have time for this. The longer it took, the more pain this stallion suffered. "But, well, just look." She ordered as she stepped aside.

Private Echo's wings flared in surprise as she took a step back. "Merciful Moon... He is an alicorn?"

"It's a possibility, or he could have been transformed." Corporal Hearth admitted as her eyes lingered on his horn. "But he needs help now. After you tell the healers, inform both Princesses. Understood?"

"Understood!" Without another word, Private Echo saluted and took off with a mighty flap of her leathery wings.

That left just her and Private Bulk to take care of the runner. "Private Bulk, I'm going to release the containment spell. I need you to hold him so I can put him to sleep."

Private Bulk nodded quickly as he planted himself next to the runner's side. It wasn't perfect, but he managed to put the alicorn stallion in an awkward-looking hold with his front legs and wings. Corporal Hearth could feel him against her magic; muscles tensed in preparation for the spell to dissipate before he even said so. "Ready."

For a fleeting moment, she couldn't help but picture herself as the pony being held in the wings of... She shook away that thought and dropped the spell. The amber glow of her magic dissipated, ceding the alleyway to the dark and rain again.

Freed from their prison, the alicorn's limbs lashed out. However, Private Bulk held firm. Both of his forelegs clamped down the moment he could, locking down the alicorn's spasming front legs. As for the alicorn's wings? Despite the apparent strain, they were both held down by Bulk's uninjured wing. That, unfortunately, left the alicorn's rear legs unchecked even if they bucked uselessly against the cobblestone.

It was a second, maybe two, before Corporal Hearth's horn gathered enough magic to light up the alleyway again. This time the amber magic jumped from the tip of her horn to the alicorn's without physical contact. It quickly encapsulated the bone and followed the spiral grooves downwards like a marble. The further it went, the weaker the alicorn became until the spark finally merged into the fur of his forehead. Only then did the stallion fall limp, asleep, within Private Bulk's hold.

Once she was sure the spell took a firm hold, Corporal Hearth made eye contact with a very cautious-looking Bulk Order. He looked worried as if any slight movement or sound might wake the poor stallion. She swung her still-lit horn in the alicorn's direction. "So long as I keep the spell going, he'll stay asleep Private Bulk."

Private Bulk released his breath with a slight rumble, "Very well Ma'am. But, uh, what do we do now?"

"Private Echo should be reaching the castle shortly if she hasn't already." Corporal Hearth informed him as she looked in the direction of the castle. "After that, they'll dispatch an emergency cart. It'll be faster if we just wait here."

Private Bulk acknowledged her with a nod. "In that case Ma'am, should we get outta the rain? The flower shop next door has an awnin' that should cover us."

"We probably should," She agreed as she helped Private Bulk shift the alicorn onto his back. "Wouldn't want him to suffer a cold on top of a cracked horn. Poor colt." Once he was secured, she followed Private Bulk out of the alley and underneath the extended awning of Magnificent Marigolds.

Private Bulk turned to look at her when they were out of the rain. "So, what did this fella do?"

"Honestly? I don't know what's going on with him. Echo found him in the dumpster behind Donut Joe's, and he just... jumped out, body-checked us both, and ran off terrified."

Now that things were relatively calm, she gave the unconscious stallion a quick look over. His cloudy gray coat was soaked through, making the patches of matted fur all over his body stand out in the mixed light of her horn and the nearest street lamp. His charcoal mane was even worse, existing as a single giant, knotted and tangled mess. A glance at his rump told her his tail was in the same, if not worse, condition. She also noted his lack of a cutie mark.

"If I had to guess, I think he's been living on the streets for a long time." She offered as she gently held his wing in her hoof and extended it. Just like the rest of him, his wings weren't cared for. A quarter of his wing feathers were out of alignment, but none were broken. Nor did she notice any blood or feather rot, thankfully. "Maybe he was hiding from a perverse unicorn mare using transformation magics on him?"

"You really think a mare would do that to the poor fella?" Private Bulk asked, looking at the stallion with a noticeable amount of pity.

"It's not like an alicorn would just appear out of thin air," Corporal Hearth countered, "He also didn't use any magic, or fly off when he had the chance. You don't find that odd?"

"The fella had just enough time to run into me and crack his horn." Private Bulk offered with a careful shrug. "I can't really judge him offa that. What I can say is, he's as strong as a bull despite his build."

"He has earth pony strength, then. Makes sense he would be an Earther if he was under a transformation." She said with an air of finality.

The sound of rainfall filled the void after that. Corporal Hearth kept watch on the skies, looking for the medical cart. Private Bulk watched the unconscious stallion on his back, ensuring he was comfortable.

After waiting a minute, a pertinent thought popped into Corporal Hearth's head. "Private Bulk, why were you alone in the alley? Where's your partner?"

"I was assigned to patrol with Corporal Scarlet tonight," He informed her with a shrug. "You know how she gets on the ground. She flew off to do an aerial patrol around the district not too long ago."

"And left you alone when you needed backup," Corporal Hearth filled in with an annoyed groan. "She's going to get written up again."

And just like the ancient proverb, 'Speak of Eris, and she will speak back,' a pegasus guardsmare landed hot. Her hooves cracked audibly against the stone just outside the awning's reach. "Bulk, why are you just standing here? Also, what the buck happened to- An alicorn!?"

Corporal Hearth had a sneaking suspicion that this night, to quote Nightmare Moon, 'Was going to last forever!'
> 2. Rat in a Maze
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 15th: 1st Day Since Capture)

Warmth. 

It was such a simple, all-encompassing feeling that Neil unconsciously relished in his half-asleep state. That wasn't to say he woke up cold in his crate. His fur was more than enough to keep him warm despite its unclean state and being up on a mountain. But after sleeping for weeks without any creature comforts, nothing could compare to the bubble of warmth created by a simple blanket.

His body shifted, feeling something plush squish into his back instead of his spine cracking against harsh wood like normal. Wanting more, he shimmied further back, only to feel something just as soft tighten around him. A small, gluttonous part of his subconscious reached out a hand. As if to horde as much comfort as was possible to obtain within reach. But all he felt was soft cloth brush against...

Neil scrunched his eyes, doing his damnedest not to think. He was warm and comfortable. He wanted to drift away, back into a sleepy haze as he nuzzled into the pillow his body...

A single eye shot open. He took in the dim light filtering through the soft, thin, white sheet covering his entire body. He was acting as a big spoon to a silky white pillow, which his gray-furred muzzle happily burrowed into. Judging by the subtle give, he was also lying on a mattress.

He was in a bed. Worse, he was in a bed, as a pony, that he did not recognize. Given the white-on-white theme, he could also hazard a guess as to where he was. 'What the fuck happened, and where am I?'

The faint sound of rain drifted to the forefront of his mind, which triggered multiple follow-up memories. Highlighting his stupidity during the night, from listlessly waiting for Donut Joe's to close, to his idiotic chase with the guard. He remembered there was an imposing guard near the end as well. But after that? He winced as his mind sparked the memory of a migraine to end all migraines. But now? He didn't feel a thing. In fact... he couldn't even feel the cloth rubbing against his horn. His horn wasn't supposed to feel numb, but that was a problem for later.

First, he had to figure out if he was captured. The simple fact that he was in a bed pointed to a big fat yes. On the other hand, his legs weren't chained to the bed he was lying on. Regardless, there was the fact that no matter the scenario, whoever had brought him here knew about him, and more importantly, they knew what he was.

A few subtle movements allowed him to press against the sheet above him. Judging by the tension, his back end was facing towards the base of the bed. Leaving the headboard and, more importantly, easy access to his freedom close to his head. It felt weird, having a soft sheet constantly brushing up against his fur, but he poked his head out with only a little squirming.

The room he found himself in was... nearly the opposite of what he was expecting. He imagined a solid, sterile, white observation room with a locked door. The room was white, and the hospital scent hinted at it being sterile. But those were the only aspects he managed to guess correctly.

From the half he could see, two expertly carved windows were placed into the marble stonework of the walls. One was beside his bed, so he didn't have the proper angle to look through it. The second was on the far wall, revealing clear blue skies and a single extravagantly decorated white tower that faintly glowed in the sunlight. The ceiling was carved from solid white marble; whether as blocks fitted together seamlessly or a single giant slab he couldn't tell. The walls had the same treatment, at least on the upper half. The lower half, from the base of the windows to the floor, was covered in carved wooden panels painted a cheerful-looking yellow. The floor was also marble but made with large, impervious-looking tiles that held natural light purple swirls running through the stone.

As he rolled over to take a look at the other side, he spotted a door set into the opposite wall from his bed. It was a simple wooden swing door with no decorations or any discernible locks set into it or the frame. This eased his mind ever so slightly at the thought of being a prisoner. On the other hand, as he finished rolling over to scan the second half of his room, he froze. 

There was another pony in the room with him. 

Judging by her smaller size and rounded muzzle, this pony was a mare. She had a pale green-white coat with matching wings and a simple white nursing cap with a red cross perched in her light purple hair. She was sitting in the corner of the room on one of those cheap, uncomfortable-looking black foldable chairs with an adjustable hospital table in front of her. Half the tabletop was empty, with only a water pitcher and two cups. On the other half sat a pot of ink with a quill sticking out and a messy pile of paperwork, all of which was being ignored. Instead, she was focused on him with curious pink eyes and a small, bright smile.

"Good afternoon," She greeted with a calming, whispery voice. "My name is Fresh Mint, and I'm the on-duty nurse assigned to care for you. How are you feeling today?"

'Fucking pissed,' Was what he wanted to say, given there was at least one pony that had watched him sleep. It also spawned multiple questions. Who put him here? How many ponies did it take to move him? How many of them looked at him? Whatever the case, at least they covered him with a sheet.

Thankfully, Fresh Mint wasn't leering at him and seemed genuine when she asked, so he quickly listed everything that felt off. "Hungry, queasy, head and horn's numb," He garbled out before succumbing to a coughing fit. After which he quickly added "Dry throat" To the list, but she was already pouring a glass of water with her... wing?

It was a simple act, yet she displayed far more dexterity with her wing than anything he'd seen before. Each fragile-looking feather acted as a dexterous finger that, when combined, worked no differently from a human hand. "That sounds about right after injuring your horn. Just try to take it easy, okay?" She informed him as she set the pitcher down, hopped off her seat, and curled her feathers around the glass. 

His only other example of pegasi doing anything with their wings besides flying had been a few guards patrolling the streets. They would trot along in front of his crate, with their wings fully folded against their side, just like his own, and a spear cradled against their chest.

A tiny mote of jealousy sparked inside him. Like his horn and hooves, he never figured out how to make his wings work. No matter how he twisted his body or mentally commanded the useless appendages, they remained folded at his sides. That left him thinking they worked instinctually, triggered perhaps to extend by freefalling in the air? But he wasn't stupid enough to test out that particular theory. To know that he could have been using them as a replacement for his hands...

Once she was close enough, she held the glass of water for him as he gladly gulped it down. Though there was no ice, the water was cold, crisp, and clean, making it far better than the chlorinated park fountain he had previously drunk out of. While not filling, the liquid also acted as a minor salve against the dull hunger pains in his stomach. A deep, thunderous rumble emanated from his body as he emptied the glass, demanding something more filling.

"I was going to ask if you were hungry, but I guess that answers that," Mint commented as she placed the glass onto a nightstand beside his bed. "Is there anything you want? It's a little late for lunch, but I'm sure I can grab something from the kitchens for you."

Neil cleared his throat before speaking, noting how his mellow voice sounded rough from disuse. "I, uh... Anything, I guess?" He offered, while thoughts of a steak with macaroni on the side taunted him. She did say anything... "Without flowers or hay?"

If she thought his request was odd, she didn't show it. "No flowers or hay? That sounds to me like a nice bowl of soup is in order. I'll quickly tell the Doctor you're awake, then trot to the kitchens." She told him while absentmindedly smoothing out the wrinkles on his bedsheet. "Before I go, do you want me to pour you another glass of water?"

"Yes, please," He answered while thinking over his situation. He still had no idea where he was and couldn't think of a way to ask without raising suspicions. His best guess was a hospital, though he knew about a small clinic near Joe's. If he was lucky, the guards might have dropped him off there.

Another glaring problem was that at least one pony, the nurse currently pouring another glass of water, knew he was awake. She also admitted that she was going to inform a doctor fairly soon. The first thought to pop into his head was to attack her. Her back was turned, giving him the perfect opportunity, but he quickly vetoed it. He didn't know the first thing about fighting as a pony; more importantly, he knew nothing about pony anatomy. Did pegasi have light, brittle bones to allow them flight? A hoof to the back of the head could just as quickly knock her out, piss her off, or kill her by mistake, and he wasn't a fucking killer.

Before he could think on it further, she turned around, a full glass of water in her wing that she quickly placed on the nightstand. "There you go," She assured him with an even bigger smile. "I'll be back with your food in just a few minutes."

As she turned to leave, he spoke up, making her pause for a moment before turning to face him again. "Uh... In case I feel sick, where's the nearest bathroom?"

She was quick to point it out by swivelling her head. "That would be the door behind me, near my desk." Indeed, there was a simple white door behind her that was set in the middle of the wall. 

He mentally slapped himself for focusing too much on the mare and not enough on his surroundings. "Thanks, I think that's everything."

She gave him a happy nod, "Sure thing, Sweetie," Then trotted out of the room. 

He ignored the name as he watched her go. The door itself swung open with a simple nudge, revealing no locks or mechanisms keeping it closed. She wove around the door, heading left.

The ticking clock had officially begun as he threw off his covers and hopped out of bed to the nearest window. What he saw quickly filled him with a sense of dread. It wasn't the open, well-kept grounds with large tracts of trimmed grass. Neither was it the yellow cobblestone paths dividing each section, leading away from the building he was currently in towards smaller buildings. No, it was the stone wall those smaller buildings were nestled against. Its height and overall shape were very familiar, being the perimeter wall for Canterlot Castle. However, seeing the support structure, ramparts, and stairs, all with guards patrolling, told him all he needed to know.

He was on the wrong side of that castle wall, leaving him with the conclusion that he was trapped inside Canterlot Castle, the very seat of power for the Celestial Dynasty. He could almost feel himself strapped down, the golden hoof of Princess Celestia pressing down imperiously on his neck. He had to get the fuck out of the castle, now!

'I'm royally fucked, both ways!' Was the only thought that popped into his head before he darted towards the exit. He could feel his heart racing and the growing sense of panic to complement how F.U.B.A.R. the situation was. Before it could get out of hand, he took a deep breath and squashed it. Panicking is what caused this situation. Just like the streets, he had to be cautious.

He poked his muzzle through the push door, just far enough to peek down both sides of the corridor. He was expecting to see multiple things. Equipment like carts full of spare bedsheets or emergency beds lining the walls. Or a pair of guards stationed to watch over his door. Instead, the marble corridor to his right was vast and empty, spanning a very long distance with plenty of doors. To his left was the exact same for the first thirty feet. An arched window told him that was a perimeter wall, along with the corridor turning right to follow.

Knowing that the nurse went left, Neil curved to the right. Was it the correct way to go? He had no idea, but it was better than running into Fresh Mint or the doctor she mentioned. Thinking of ponies and the castle staff, where were the guards? Why wasn't a guard detail watching his door to prevent this situation?

It was a little eerie as he jogged down the corridor, the only sound coming from his hooves. With each step, his ears twitched downwards as if desperate to flatten themselves and block off the distinct clack against the tile floor. He found himself in quite the conundrum. He could take it slow, but a pony might spot him before reaching the intersection hundreds of feet away. If he ran, however, he could alert an unseen pony with his obnoxiously loud clops. In the end, he opted for stealth.

He might have been able to keep a count of the doors if he had started right away. But he forgot, so he could only tell his distance travelled by the fact that after every tenth wooden door, the eleventh was a dull beige colour with supplies written on it. He stopped to take a quick look the first time he passed one. Ultimately, it was little more than a half-full linen closet, with shelves only about two feet deep and zero chance of hiding. 

He passed six of those supply closets before finally making it to his first T-intersection. He snuck a quick peek around the corner, but the corridor veering off to the left was just as empty as his current one. He was left with a simple choice. He could go straight while keeping the exterior wall of the building on his right side. Despite the hallway's absurd length, he would eventually reach the other end of the building, right? Or he could turn left, head further into the building, and remove himself from the corridor his room was situated in. The very same room at least one medical pony would be visiting soon. 

Between being lost or captured, Neil felt being lost was the better alternative.

This new corridor was also long, but unlike before, he could see a set of doors in the distance. As he walked closer, he also noticed an upcoming four-way intersection just before the doors. He had a few choices, but he felt poking his nose through a random door wasn't a good option when other paths were available. When he reached the intersection, he quickly checked once more for guards. Again, nothing was there except for more doors to his left. So he went right.

Left, right, straight, he did his best to build a mental map of the building, but it didn't make any sense! The corridors were insanely long, all of them, but at random lengths. The shortest he stumbled upon was 300-350 feet long. And then there was the random placement of double doors. What the hell was their purpose? Were they fire doors? A security feature? That last thought was the only reason he hadn't touched one. Yet.

It was only after his ninth turn that he spotted something new. He would have been about fifty feet deep into the new corridor when he came across a small alcove. Inside was, surprisingly, yet another door! But this one was white, which would have allowed it to blend in with the marble wall if not for two obvious details painted onto the door. A yellow sun was set at eye level, and just below it was a crescent moon, each styled exactly like the Princess' brands.

A part of him knew he shouldn't tempt fate by poking his nose through the door. But another, more significant part felt enticed after what must have been an hour of walking through identical corridors. Besides, there must have been something special about this door in particular? It was relatively hidden compared to everything else he'd passed. What if it was a passage reserved for royalty? He could use it to slip past the guards patrolling the castle halls. Deciding the risk was worth it, he bit down on the handle, twisted it, and pulled the door an eye-width open. 

Purple. A substantial amount of purple stonework greeted him, whether the light purple stone floor and support columns or the bare walls carved from a darker purple stone. There was little else except for a simple red carpet wide enough to cover most of the floor. There wasn't even a hint of gold as he cautiously poked his head through.

Muffled hooves, columns to hide behind, and still no guard in sight? This new hallway was a no-brainer as he slipped through the door. Hearing the faint click behind him, he glanced back. Though he'd just walked through it, he couldn't see a single trace of a door. Instead, it was a smooth stone wall with a single red cross painted there.

Unlike the hospital ward corridors lined with doors, this hallway appeared to stretch on with little to no change. Thankfully, that perception was proven false after forty or fifty feet when he spotted another upcoming T-intersection. 

As Neil approached the intersection, he took advantage of the stone column standing at the corner and hid behind it. He took a moment to listen for the clanking of armour or any other sound but didn't hear anything. Feeling pretty safe, he leaned around the column- and froze.

Not even fifteen feet away from him was a unicorn maid, judging by her frilly uniform. She was standing in the middle of the hallway facing a column roughly twenty feet away, with her rump shaking to a silent tune only she could hear. Her feather duster floated in a sunny yellow telekinetic aura, lightly brushing the area where the column met the ceiling.

Neil quickly slipped back behind his column. He had no idea if she was almost done with that particular column or the direction she would go once she was done. However, he knew he stuck out like a sore thumb with his monochrome coat. If he stayed where he was and she came this way, there was no doubt in his mind that she would spot him.

As silently as he could, Neil slipped into the open hallway. His eyes glanced between the maid and his end goal as he tread cautiously towards the closest column across the gap. Occasionally, Neil caught a glimpse of flesh underneath her bouncing blue tail but diligently ignored it. Miraculously, he crossed without incident, and the maid was no longer within his line of sight. Neil passed two more columns just to be safe before he finally released the breath he was holding. 

He wasn't out of the woods yet, though, knowing how good his equine hearing was. He took things very slowly, ducking in and around columns. He also stole frequent looks behind himself, trying to spot the maid before she could spot him, but she never appeared. Eventually, he sped up to his average pace on the carpet again after roughly one hundred feet. 

The next T-intersection came into view about seventy feet after that. Neil repeated his actions, hiding behind the column and taking a look. This time, however, the hallway was clear. One last look back revealed an empty hallway despite the maid he had left behind. The choice was an easy one as he turned left.

Despite his constant paranoia, he was starting to feel good about himself. Sure, he only managed to deceive a nurse and sneak by a maid. And yes, the grounds were littered with guards, unlike the inside of the castle. But so far, things were going his way. A little more luck inside of the castle, along with a fuck-tonne on the outside, and he might actually escape!

Those positive feelings had him almost prancing towards the next intersection, the first four-way split in this part of the castle. As it became routine, he darted behind the column at the corner. A quick glance across to his left showed an empty hallway. That was good enough for him to press against the stone column and slip around the edge to-.

That small, burgeoning flicker of hope shattered. Standing not even thirty feet from his position, her ethereal mane flowing as if in an unknowable breeze, stood Princess Celestia with two royal guards at her sides. 

His single, terrified eye met hers as they widened a fraction, betraying her surprise before she restored her composure with a pleasant smile. Despite being so far away, he heard her clearly. "Well, isn't this a surprise?"

Neil didn't answer, opting to spin around and bolt instead. 'Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!'

At least, he tried. He made it a good thirty, maybe even forty feet before he felt a pressure surround his body, and his hooves no longer touched the ground. Looking down, his hooves mere inches from touching the red carpet, dangling uselessly. He also noted a firm, golden glow running along his belly but surprisingly diverting around his unmentionable equine areas. A quick glance over the rest of his body confirmed the same thing. He was being levitated off of the ground.

And the pony levitating him? Looking back, she stood at the intersection, her horn aglow in a brilliant golden aura. Both of her guards were still at her side, making no move to come and collect him. 

Over the weeks, Neil had heard of her description from ponies in the street and even seen her photo in the occasional newspaper thrown in a trash can. Both failed to prepare him for his current reality. Despite her relaxed posture, she still held a look of majestic opulence befitting the royal leader of a country. Thanks to his new eyes, however, he could see the look of motherly worry on her muzzle clearly, betraying her otherwise perfect imperial facade.

He couldn't fathom what was going on in her mind. He didn't want to understand what was going through her mind as he started thrashing about, trying to break free from the spell constraining him. He struggled, throwing his body against the pressure as best he could as he felt his joints pop. But no matter how hard he threw his body against the mystical force, it held firm, making his efforts useless.

The entire time, Celestia and her guards just stood there, two of them watching passively.

Flecks of lathered sweat dripped off Neil and onto the carpet when he finally gave up, too tired to continue. Celestia either planned for this or took it as an opportunity because seconds after he fell limp, she spun him around to face his captor. Despite his exhaustion, he met her confused worry with his own glare.

Her melodious voice broke the silence, sounding like she was beside him despite the distance as she offered him soothing words. "I don't know what happened to you, but I promise whatever it was cannot harm you here."

Instead of answering, Neil dredged up the sudden degradation in his quality of life three weeks ago, the hardships he had to deal with on the streets, and the aches and pains he suffered through and was currently suffering. He focused on all of it, bundled those emotions together, and vented all that hatred and frustration at the immaculate princess through his glare.

Celestia's expression didn't change, but Neil still caught sight of her hair... losing some of its flow? Had he caused that, or was she doing something? He wasn't the only one to notice, either. The unicorn guard flicked her eyes towards the princess, then back at him, a slight but noticeable frown adorning her muzzle. 

Despite her deflated hair, Celestia continued as if this was a typical diplomatic introduction. "Perhaps introductions are in order? My name is Princess Celestia. May I ask what your name is?"

He still gave her nothing.

"I know you can speak Equish. Corporal Hearth wrote about your choice of expressive language in her report." She told him before a rolled-up piece of parchment with a broken wax seal floated out from underneath her wing. "I received Nurse Mint's report as well a little under an hour ago, detailing your awakening and how you spoke fluently."

He couldn't help it, as a hint of sarcastic incredulity slipped into his glare as if to say, 'No duh, you Bitch.'

Contrary to his expectations, her flowing hair picked up once more as she graced him with a small smile. "Good, I was starting to worry something had happened to you between then and now. Speaking of, I apologize for holding you in place without your permission. A cracked horn is very delicate, and I didn't want to risk further injuries."

A cracked horn? His mind drifted to the numbness starting at the base of his horn. He vaguely recalled the nurse mentioning a horn injury, not that it mattered. As far as he was concerned, it was fucking useless.

After a short pause without an answer, Celestia continued. "Still, I fully understand if you're annoyed with being held against your will. I promise to release you, but I would like you to tell me your name. Is that agreeable to you?"

Neil automatically quirked an eyebrow, his glare slipping away as he considered her offer. His first instinct was to spite her. 'If I do that, I'm completely fucked. But if I agree?.. Cracked horns cause terrible migraines, right?' It was a quick and dirty plan, with a small, almost insignificant chance. But it was a chance, and he could work with that. Slowly, almost begrudgingly, he nodded.

Immediately, his surroundings blurred. He felt nothing, yet in a fraction of a second, he went from forty feet to ten feet away, at most, from the princess and her guards. Had she just teleported him? Or was her control strong enough that she could drag him that fast without effort? As he blinked away the streaks of light plaguing his vision, he felt his hooves touch the carpet. The pressure from her telekinesis still remained. Once his vision cleared, he looked to his chest, wreathed in her golden aura, then back at her with a look. 'And?'

The light from her horn faded, as well as the pressure holding him in place. Neil reacted immediately, rushing forward with a hoof raised. He could escape if he could just make contact with her horn and evade the guards.

One single step was all it took. The hallway behind the princess and her two guards suddenly shifted before Neil's eyes. Shrinking from hundreds of feet in length to less than an eighth of its size in the blink of an eye, which caused severe vertigo. He stumbled over his own hooves.

However, before he could crash head-first into the carpet, he was caught once more in Celestia's golden aura. "Are you okay?" She asked, lifting him up to his full height and holding him there.

Before he could regain his footing, let alone answer as he fought to keep down the water in his stomach, the unicorn guard at her side spoke up. "Princess, we all just saw him try to attack. Now, will you end this farce and let me throw this Stallion in the dungeon where he belongs?"

Celestia seemed to pause for a second before taking her eyes off Neil and turning to her guard. "Captain Buckler, you know I value your advice. In this case, however, I find your concerns misplaced. Something has this poor stallion terrified enough to run from the guards and myself. I simply wish to know what it is so I can help him."

Neither Captain Buckler's expression nor her tone changed as she asked, "And the attempted assault on royalty we all just witnessed?"

"I told you this morning, he could have done serious harm to Corporal Hearth and Private Echo when he had the chance. Instead, he ran. This afternoon Nurse Mint-"

Between his sudden vertigo, his subsequent nausea now enhanced by said vertigo, the mild bickering between the princess and her guard, and the fact that he was caught with no chance of escape, Neil felt the beginnings of a headache. Mix that with the anger and rage he had already drummed up and the despair from his final failed attempt at escape? Neil gave up, allowing his body to throw up a small amount of water and bile as he hung limply in her grasp. "Can you just stop with your fucking bullshit and listen to your stupid ass guard!?" He all but yelled, sputtering at the taste of bile. "Or better yet, just fucking kill me now!"

The hallway became dead silent, except for a loud gasp from behind. Even with his head hanging limply, Neil still had enough curiosity to pry his eyes off the carpet and look between his dangling legs. Despite his view being turned upside down, he still recognized the blue tail and mane of the maid he snuck by earlier, though now he could see the shocked look in her sunny yellow eyes. Had the bickering lured her in for castle gossip? Even as he was, he hoped the innocent maid wouldn't disappear after seeing him.

Before he could contemplate the maid's fate any further, Celestia addressed his most pressing demand in abject horror. "Why, in the name of Faust, would you want us to kill you?"

'She really wants to know?' He thought, once more staring at the carpet he was suspended above. It's not like it mattered anymore. Working up the remaining bile in his mouth, he spat it towards the stain already there. "I've been living on the streets of Canterlot for a while now," He informed them despondently, "Ever since that weird fucking plague. I've heard your ponies praising you for some dark and disturbing shit during that time. Honestly, between being turned to fucking stone or worse, and death, I'd rather be dead."

He was expecting her to demand specifics or do something far more imperial or politician-esque. Instead, Celestia lowered herself onto her belly to be at his eye level. "I don't know what you've heard," She admitted, "But Equestria was built on the six tenets of harmony, honesty being one of them. Please trust that no harm will come to you as long as you mean no harm to my little ponies."

"Princess!" Captain Buckler interjected, "This stallion is clearly insane if he believes-"

"Captain, enough." Despite Celestia's soft tone, the captain followed her order immediately. However, it didn't stop the shorter mare from narrowing her eyes angrily at Neil.

For the most part, Neil was trying to figure out the Princess' game. He knew enough about the tenets. Not a day passed without hearing one or more ponies praising at least one aspect of their quasi-religion. The question was, why was she trying so hard to earn his trust? Why wasn't she just removing the new political rival on her doorstep? Why wasn't she locking him down in her deepest, darkest dungeon? Why?

He couldn't understand. "...Fine," He muttered, feeling like he had just signed a deal with the devil.

Celestia's motherly smile made a return as her horn lit up. He flinch, expecting an attack at first despite her words. Instead, the taste of vomit and the stain on the carpet vanished. His nausea also disappeared. "Thank you for trusting me. Now, I believe some introductions are long overdue, Mr.?"

"Neil," He offered as she stood back up. He placed his hooves firmly underneath him and lifted his head once more. He knew every pony in the hall was watching him, waiting to see if he would bolt again. Even the maid, who had surreptitiously worked her way closer to the group while dusting columns. 

"Kneel?" Princess Celestia parroted back as she released Neil from her golden aura.

His muscles tensed momentarily, half expecting the vertigo that surprised him to return. It didn't. "Close, but no. Neil. As in knee and ill, but pressed together. Neil."

"Very well Neil," She said, testing out his name again. Once he gave her a limp nod without correction, she continued. "With introductions out of the way, would you care to join me for dinner?"

"Just like that? No terms and conditions, just a let's go eat?" He snarked and was about to say more when his stomach let loose a thunderous rumble. The mention of food awakened the starving beast; this time, it would not be denied.

Celestia turned away from him, suppressing a giggle. "Yes, just like that. The castle's main dining room is this way, Neil. I would also ask that you stay close, otherwise you may trigger the defensive wards again."

Neil quickly averted his eyes towards the earth pony guard's helmet as he listened. Her flowing hair and tail looked solid up to a certain distance. But up close, with her tail less than a muzzle's distance away? There was a certain opacity that revealed a noticeable outline of parts he did not want to see. 

He followed closely when she walked down the hall, aligning himself with the silent earth pony guard. "By wards, do you mean whatever bullshit it was that tripped me?"

"That can be an unintended consequence," She stated before happily expanding that tidbit into a small lecture. "Perimeter Stone's Perception Perversion Ward is quite the ingenious enchantment that affects the perception of any pony not tied into the wards, increasing the length of a corridor by tenfold. And speaking of defences," She looked to Captain Buckler, "Would you please inform the castle infirmary that their wayward patient is joining me for dinner?"

Despite having the princess between them, Neil still felt the captain's lingering glare as she complied. "At once, Princess." She then peeled off towards the infirmary, leaving an empty spot on Celestia's left side.

Princess Celestia took a right at the next intersection, and the two remaining ponies followed. "I would like to apologize for my guard captain, Neil. She may be new to her rank, but she is very devoted to the job. A little too devoted at times, as you've just seen."

Neil mentally shrugged, but otherwise, he didn't really care. "No need. Between the two of you, she was the one talking sense."

That answer had the Princess glancing back, "Oh? So you would prefer being locked up in the castle dungeons?"

Neil just shook his head. "Hell no. I'm just saying, when faced with an unknown threat, she was in the right." 

"I agree," Celestia stated with a knowing smile. "Captain Buckler would be in the right if there was a threat."

Neil narrowed his eyes. Did he really appear that weak to her? "I'm pretty sure I have a spear growing out of my head."

Celestia was quick to shut down that line of thought. "I would advise against using your horn for physical combat. You've already experienced feedback from a moderate crack," She reminded, causing Neil to flinch at the faint memory. "Very few unicorns manage to survive after shattering their horn. I would be horrified to see an alicorn suffer the same way."

He could tell she meant every word, which unintentionally derailed his next escape plan. That was the one weakness he knew about, given his experience, and it could kill her? More importantly, he could have died last night! But how would he escape if he couldn't disable her horn? Or would a light punch be enough? He glared at the barely noticeable tip of his horn. 'Fucking useless head prick.'

"Neil, would you be willing to tell me about those rumours you've heard on the streets?" Celestia asked, breaking the silence and his train of thought. "I would like to clear up any misconceptions and give you some clarity if it would help."

"If you really want me to, I guess? But some of it is pretty dark. I mean, turning most of your political rivals to stone over the last thousand years?" He questioned with disbelief, "Which is fucking impossible obviously. Otherwise, you'd be a walking corpse. But the name Eris kept popping up like it's some sort of monster."

Celestia looked at him oddly but responded nonetheless. "Why, thank you, I think. I've never had anypony compliment my looks in such a back-hoofed manner. However, when it comes to the castle gardens..."

She then explained that every statue of a pony, be they commoner, noble, guard, or magician, was sculpted in the likeness of friends who had passed on over the years. 'Which was bullshit. It made far more sense that each pony was a friend to the 'Celestia' ruling in that time, before the name passed onto the next alicorn Princess. But hey, a dupe was walking along with them, so he didn't call out his captor.'

He tuned back into her lecture as Celestia explained that her garden was built around the only prisoner ever kept within. Eris, the Spirit of Chaos was her name. A creature with the power to warp reality and do anything she could think of with a snap of her claws.

Equestria itself was a fledgling country, still struggling to find its identity. It was theorized that the confusion and disharmony between the pony tribes, as they slowly learned to work together as a whole society, was the chaos that initially caught Eris' attention. Once she was there, however, she quickly blanketed the land with her own brand of insanity. 

Celestia then explained the many oddities from that time, describing them in such detail that Neil could see why ponies thought she lived through it. Most of her examples were cruel pranks her ponies suffered from under Eris' chaotic rule. Other examples related to animals fused together to create monstrosities, like the manticores and cockatrices of the Everfree. Some ponies lived under Eris' control to the point that they would be driven insane. Either frolicking in the cruelty or spreading even more on helpless victims. And when Eris had trouble finding new toys to play with in an area? A snap of her fingers could drive the local herds into an estrus-induced sexual frenzy.

Princess Celestia's best scholars believed that Eris ruled for over a century before Celestia and her sister, Luna, found a means of defeating Eris. Neil presumed these were the ancestors of Celestia, who started the royal dynasty. The result was the Spirit's petrification into stone on the flat mountain plateau that would later become the gardens for Canterlot Castle. Celestia and Luna were then crowned as rulers over the crumbling remains of Equestria, opting to take the title of Princess, and the rest was history.

Until Eris broke free from her stone prison the previous spring. Celestia had expected her to do as before, spreading chaos throughout Equestria. Instead, Eris showed unusual restraint by challenging Celestia's student and her friends to a high-stakes game. And the prize? The artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony, Weapons, Neil idly noted, that had initially petrified her. In the end, her student won, and Eris was once more a statue.

... Only for Celestia to go insane and release Eris a month later with the intent of reforming the Spirit of Chaos. The way she described the results was mixed but promising, despite Eris' recent relapse (whatever that was).

"... Just remember, if you ever run into Eris, I strongly suggest caution when dealing with her. She can be very... forward when dealing with stallions of any kind."

By that point, Celestia had led them to an ornate-looking set of double doors either carved from a dark wood or stained to appear like it. Each entry had a decent-sized arched window depicting one of the Princess' brands with stained glass. However, Neil didn't have long to look before they were enveloped with Celestia's golden aura and opened. 

Neil had seen the spindly-looking stone bridges built between the castle towers from a distance. Not once had he thought about walking along one of them before, yet here he was. "I'll keep that in mind if I ever see her. Before I set foot on this death trap can you answer one thing?" He asked, making her pause. "Let's say I believe that this Spirit of Chaos is an all fucking powerful cosmic being," 'That might be able to send me home,' went unsaid, "The stupidity that made you think releasing Eris was a good idea. Is it the same stupidity that has me walking without chains?"

Looking back, Celestia contemplated his question for just a moment with her motherly smile. "What you call stupidity, I prefer to call an excellent judge of character. I would also like to think after one thousand years of ruling, I might have learned a lesson or two about reading ponies."

She was kind enough to wait for Neil to catch up before continuing her sedate walk. "Was that the only rumour you were concerned with?"

"No, I've got at least two more off the top of my head." He had far more than two, though the rest were minor in comparison. Instead of thinking about them, he was doing his best to keep his mind off of the fact that the bridge they were on, as far as he knew, defied the laws of gravity.

Celestia was patient, however, and opened the matching set of double doors on the other side for them all.

"I guess the next biggest one would be how you made an entire fucking empire vanish from existence just because their Tyrant King attacked you."

He was expecting another history lecture, but the biting sadness behind her words coloured the next part of their journey in sombre tones. "Before King Sombra, the Crystal Empire was ruled by a dear friend of mine. Her name was Princess Amore..."

She told him about her friend and how she ruled the empire with a powerful artifact known as the crystal heart. She then explained the artifact's purpose as an emotional amplifier and barrier against the cold. All in all, Neil thought of it as unimportant pony fluff.

However, when she got to Sombra's rule, her sentences became short and to the point. He was a self-proclaimed Tyrant King, dripping in dark magic, who murdered Princess Amore and then stole the crystal heart. He cast an empire-wide mind control spell through the heart, ensnaring all but a few citizens living along the barrier's outer edge. Those ponies who lived closest to Equestria came to them with warnings and seeking aid.

She and her sister, Princess Luna, brought an army to bear against the Crystal Empire. But with the time it took to raise their army, Sombra had mined a large stockpile of enchantment-grade crystals using his mind-controlled slaves.

When his enslaved scouts spotted their assault on the Crystal Empire, Sombra prepared. He used most, if not all, of the crystals to empower himself and his spells. Making him strong enough to take on two alicorns. His slaves, however, were forced to don armour and pick up weapons for the coming battle.

It was inevitable that their forces clashed, though Celestia and Luna managed to get within sight of the capital city. Entrusting General Pilum to the primary battle, she and her sister flew ahead to confront Sombra himself.

He was all but impossible to defeat through conventional methods. Almost every attack would dissipate against his wards and the few that connected? He would explode into shadows that corrupted the air with dark magic before reforming again, laughing at their futility.

When all other options failed, they were forced to use the Elements against Sombra. They worked but at a terrible cost. After exploding into a shadow cloud, Sombra was sealed away into a glacier. Unknowingly, the sisters thought that was the end. But Sombra had one more ward, tied directly to his living essence. When the tyrant was sealed away, he took the Crystal Empire and its people with him.

"... We couldn't possibly fathom the dark magics required to pull off such a feat. So yes, in the end, the blame was ours. We unknowingly sealed away an entire population of innocent ponies, only for them to return shortly after Eris was resealed."

".... A dead man's switch," Neil muttered absently, thinking about the absurdity of it all.

"A dead what switch?" Celestia asked, looking at him with an odd expression.

"An... unpleasant way to go," He told her, hoping that would be enough of a deterrent. "Let's leave it at that, eh?"

"If you don't wish to tell me, I can respect that. Either way, my private dining hall is just ahead." She informed him, gesturing with her muzzle towards a pair of tall, arched wooden doors with golden accents. 

Once more, she opened the doors with her aura. Celestia continued onwards, unimpeded, but Neil was forced to stop. Instead of entering, the guard he was closely following peeled off to the side, almost causing Neil to crash into him. Once the guard took up his post at the doorframe, Neil took stock of the situation.

Celestia was inside, walking towards one of only two chairs set at a long, narrow table. The guard beside him was staring straight ahead at the opposite wall...

Making a split-second decision, Neil booked it. Running past the guard, who didn't even lift a hoof. Of course, it became abundantly clear why once he was far enough from the guard. The hallway elongated, going from thirty feet to three hundred in seconds. He slowed to a walk, then finally came to a stop. He was still caught up in the fucking security wards. Turning around, the guard appeared to be ten feet away. But even at that angle, Neil could see the smile in his eyes. 'Fucking Bastard.'

It wasn't long before Celestia returned and lifted him in her aura. "I would suggest closing your eyes; it's the easiest way to avoid the side effects."

Neil just stared at her, trying to ignore the cheshire grin on her muzzle. After a minute-long stand-off, however, he relented. The next thing he knew, he was being set down. Right in front of Celestia, once he opened his eyes. "I did warn you about the perception perversion wards, didn't I?"

"You did." Neil ground out, more pissed off at his own stupidity than her smirk.

"Well then, shall we eat?"

This time, Neil followed her into the dining room, noting the second table to the left piled with breakfast foods. Multiple piles of pancakes, some with melted butter and others with whipped cream and fruit toppings. He also spotted waffles drenched in syrup but somehow not soggy. But the holy grail... multiple thermos' of coffee and tea, though Neil's complete focus was on the coffee.

The scraping of wood against stone brought him out of his trance as he turned to see Celestia sitting down at the head of the table. Leaving him the chair closest to the door and to her left. He walked up to the chair, but he bit into the wood instead of sitting. He noted the acrid-tasting varnish finish as he dragged it ten feet down. Only after reaching a suitable distance did he sit at the table.

If Celestia thought his actions were a slight against her, she didn't show it. Instead, she levitated a menu to him and placed it gently on the table within easy reach. Neil quickly looked it over, noting the four main sections were different types of food. He wrote off the top left section dedicated to salads. Professionally made, or garbage tier, he didn't want any more fucking salads.

The top right was unrecognizable, with many weird, fancy-sounding names. The dishes pictured looked extravagantly garnished but were mainly thick-looking, almost pudding-like soups? He wrote off the entire section.

The bottom left had recognizable dishes, loaves of bread and pasta mainly. The loaves of bread appeared to be fancy loaves stuffed with plenty of odd-looking things.

The last panel was the dessert panel, which he passed over. No matter how much he wanted to give himself pony diabetes, if real food was an option he had to take it. He owed this alicorn body that much, at the very least.

With his order and a backup just in case, Neil looked over to Celestia. She seemed to still be contemplating what she wanted for the evening, leaving him with no idea what he should do. Did he just sit there and wait? Or did he have to poke the menu, like that one Harry Potter book? Before he could make an idiot of himself, Celestia placed her menu down.

Seconds later, a unicorn and a pegasus, both stallions, exited from a less decorative door near the breakfast table. 

Whether it was a silent signal or the staff was just well-trained, Neil couldn't tell. But he gave the two ponies odd looks as they traversed the room. Both wore the same ludicrous, if eye-catching, uniform, which was barely a uniform. The central part of it looked like the flared lapel of a tuxedo, and the undershirt, both white, with a smart-looking black bow tie to finish off the classy look. At least, it would have looked classy if not for the black frilly lace accenting the edges of the lapel. It looked like a tux, an adult French maid costume, and a bondage collar had a very messy three-way.

The light bluish-gray pegasus split off from his coworker, heading towards the Princess, leaving him with the tan unicorn stallion. The unicorn swiftly approached Neil's section of the table, "May I take your order, Sir?"

"Can I order something that's off the menu?" Neil asked, hoping for a yes. After the day's events, he could use a little pick me up. A little taste of home would do just that.

"You can," The stallion assured before adding a little boast. "If we've heard of it, then I guarantee our cooks can make it."

"Sounds good," Neil admitted before lowering his voice. It was stupid but in an opulent castle like this? He felt like an idiot for ordering something so simple. "I'd like to order the biggest bowl of macaroni and cheese you can make."

Other than a raised eyebrow, the stallion did nothing to disparage Neil's choice. He ignited his horn and withdrew a piece of paper and a pencil from underneath his tux collar. He quickly manipulated both to write Neil's order, "Of course, Sir, and what would you like to drink?"

Neil thought about it briefly, but he had no idea if ponies had hard alcohol like vodka. In the end, he settled for something simple. "Just coffee is fine." Before the waiter left, Neil quickly added, "Could I have it in a bowl as well?"

The waiter made a quick change before slipping the pencil and paper back under his collar. "Of course. I'll have your order delivered shortly to you, Sir." The stallion left afterwards, quickly disappearing behind the door leading towards the kitchens.

A quick look in Celestia's direction revealed that she was still ordering. She was pointing at the levitated menu with her hoof, going from one item to the next. For a moment, Neil felt like she was ordering a feast. Still, after the fifth item, the stallion left towards the back, and she lowered her menu back onto the table.

Once the waiter passed out of sight, Celestia quickly engaged Neil in conversation. "You've finished ordering as well, Neil?" After a quick nod, she continued, "We have time to spare before our meals are delivered. In the interim, I believe there was one last rumour you would like to discuss?"

There was, and that particular rumour also spawned his worst-case scenario for capture. Something he did not want to think about while eating. "Yeah... That can wait until after we finish eating."

"Very well then," Celestia complied with an understanding nod. "In that case, would you like to answer some of my own questions?"

Neil immediately stiffened as he gave the princess a hard, questioning look. He expected an interrogation at some point. It made sense to do it now because it was just the two of them. "Like what?"

"I would like to know more about you if you would be willing to share? For example, would you like to tell me how you found yourself in Canterlot?"

"I have no fucking clue," He stated with a shrug. "I went to work, got back home, and went to bed as my normal fucking self. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a back alley as a fucking mutant horse with wings and a horn."

That appeared to pique Celestia's interest. "So you were an earth pony before ascending?"

"I don't know what the hell ascension is, but yeah, and that's all there is," Neil told her, heavily massaging the truth while laying down the groundwork for his cover story. After all, there were ponies and horses native to Earth. He just wasn't born as one of them. "No pegasi, no unicorns, and none of that fucking bullshit you call magic."

That stumped the Princess as she looked at him with a calculating gaze. "I can think of a few nations with an Earth Pony majority. Exclusively earth pony, let alone devoid of magic, however?.. I cannot think of a single country that fits your description. Where do you come from, if you don't mind me asking?"

The thought of lying passed through Neil's head. She wouldn't be able to verify one way or the other, given his country was on another fucking planet, at the very least. On the other hand, if he told her the truth, what did it matter? Other than the fact that she was a ruler and could likely pick out an outright lie like a rotten tomato. "Canada, and I've never heard of Equestria until I was fucking dumped here."

The room fell silent for a minute as Celestia contemplated what he just told her. "If you wish, I could have my most trusted researchers and scholars look into finding your country?"

Although the gesture was nice, even Neil could see how big of a waste that was. "And waste time and resources on a useless fucking endeavour?" 

That seemed to surprise Celestia, "I don't see how making contact with your country and returning you home would be useless?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't. But if I stay like this? Best case scenario, I somehow evade being locked up as a science experiment and live in hiding for the rest of my life." He told her calmly as if he was talking about the weather. "The likely scenario? I'm captured, preferably killed, and they dissect my corpse. Worst case scenario? I'm tied down and vivisected, repeatedly, as the government tries to figure out what makes me tick without killing me."

Celestia didn't look it, except for her dilated eyes, but her voice conveyed her shock clearly. "Why would your government do such a thing?"

"As I just said, to figure out how all this works," He used a hoof to gesture over his body from head to chest, specifically around his horn and wings, to further sell his point. "Heh, if you think that's bad, I can think of a few nations that have done far worse for far less. On the other hand, if you did find a way home, that would be fucking fantastic. I'd just have to figure out a way to chop off the wings and shave off my horn flush without killing mys-"

"THERE WILL BE NO SELF-MUTILATION WHILE I'M AROUND YOUNG COLT!"

Neil sat frozen, mid gesture as the windows took a couple extra seconds to stop rattling.

Celestia also took a moment before lecturing him with a stern but motherly tone. "From what I've pieced together, you've had an extremely unfair experience since your first day in Canterlot. I can also understand your excessive use of foul language to help vent your anger and frustration. I will not, however, sit here and allow you to even think about removing the gifts granted to you! Don't you understand? No matter how it happened or why, you've ascended into an alicorn. If your country of Canada can't see how special that makes you, then I'm more than willing to take care of you until you can return home as you are."

Neil.... had no fucking idea what to say to that, so he said nothing.

Five minutes? Ten minutes? Some time passed in silence before both of the waiters returned. The pegasus was pushing a large cart, almost overflowing with food. Whereas the unicorn held two bowls in his magic. The smaller of the two was the size of a salad bowl, while the other was twice as big as a punch bowl. Both of them were placed on the table within easy reach.

"One alicorn-sized bowl of macaroni and cheese and a coffee." The unicorn stated professionally as if he hadn't heard Celestia's deafening yell from just a room away. "Would you like anything else?"

Despite the lovely-looking home-cooked meal before him, Neil could only shake his head in the negative. He thought that would be it, but as he leaned forward, he felt a hoof on his shoulder. Glancing to his left, the stallion was giving him a reassuring smile.

"Enjoy your meal, and I hope the rest of your evening is pleasant." He retreated into the kitchen as Neil watched, confused by the out-of-place encouragement. Glancing over at the end of the table, his coworker and Celestia were still helping each other unload the cart. 

Not wanting to think about Celestia's words, he returned to his gigantic bowl. At the top of the bowl was an entire layer of melted cheese, browned to perfection, and a hint of spices he couldn't see but he could smell. A quick nudge with his nose told him it was still warm but not hot enough to burn him if he dug in. For a moment, he just basked in the warmth of his first hot meal since... Days before he appeared in this fucked up world.

Without further delay, he dove in muzzle first. His first bite could have been considered tentative but polite despite eating without utensils. Afterwards, however, he was little more than a ravenous hound. Driven by his desperate hunger and the euphoric taste of pony food as he devoured everything in his path. Quite a feat, given the size of the bowl. He only stopped once, halfway through, to drain the entire salad bowl of his coffee before he returned to massacring his pasta.

He only found one problem with his dinner, which was both a shock and a revelation. The entire bowl was empty, licked clean in his haste, leaving only his muzzle drenched in whatever savoury cheese sauce the cooks used to make his pasta. Looking down at his body, he was half expecting to see his stomach bloated. Instead, his underbelly was just as skinny as before, making him question where the hell his meal went. He didn't even feel full, though he wasn't hungry at the very least.

Looking over to Celestia's end of the table, he was just as shocked to see a stack of neatly piled dishes sitting on the middle shelf of the cart, every single one looking like they were recently cleaned, and Celestia herself sitting patiently as she watched him.

"It looks like you enjoyed your meal," She stated with her damnable cheshire grin.

"Yeah, well, after weeks of rationing garbage, a hot meal is... well, a hot meal." He told her half distractedly as he licked at the remaining sauce on his muzzle.

He almost missed the subtle shift as her grin faded to her usual smile. "At the very least, you'll never have to eat out of a dumpster again, Neil. That I can promise you."

"We'll see," Was all he said with a shrug before changing topics. "Now, you wanted to hear that last rumour? This is the one that had me avoiding you the most."

"If that is the case, I would like to disprove this rumour immediately," She encouraged him to continue as she levitated his bowls onto the top shelf of the unattended cart.

"It's up to you. You'll need to call in the guard, though; I have to ask him something first." In all honesty, he didn't really need the guard. But he was a smug prick, so why not use him as an example?

Celestia didn't question him as she opened the door with her golden aura. "Lieutenant Brass, we require your assistance." Once the guard entered, Celestia closed the door behind him. He came to a halt two body lengths away from Celestia and stood at attention.

"Neil has a question for you. I don't know what it is, but it's related to the rumours he mentioned earlier today. I would like you to answer truthfully; is that understood?"

"It is, Princess!" After a quick salute, he shifted to face Neil.

'So, I'm not worth stopping, am I?' Neil thought as he cleared his throat. A pause for dramatic tension, and... "How many times have you been ordered to fuck Celestia against your will?" 

At that moment, Neil learned that spit-takes could travel at least ten feet. It might have been longer, but unfortunately, Celestia had been looking in his direction when he asked the question.

It was awkward when Princess Celestia explained that some mares had sexual fantasies about being a princess, while also abusing their powers to create a harem of stallions. Some were even bold enough to ask her in court if they could have access to the Princess' private harem, even after repeatedly stating it simply didn't exist.

It was even more awkward when Celestia asked him to explain his worst-case scenario, as he called it, in relation to that specific rumour. He eventually admitted he was terrified of being restrained in some long-forgotten hole and used as little more than a breeding stock for the rest of his life.

It was extremely awkward when the guard finally found his voice and stated, "None, um, but... if she asked? I would." While every inch of fur that could be seen through his armour had become beet red.


~~~******~~~


Later that night, long after the changing of the Sun and Moon, Celestia found herself in her private quarters. She would do her best to relax most nights, either by reading one of the many, many, early copies or first editions gifted to her no matter the genre. Or relaxing in a bath, allowing the warm scented waters to wash away the day's stress from her tired muscles. Instead, she was hunched over a slowly decreasing pile of paperwork in her private office tonight.

It wasn't the worst way to spend a night. Her long life had given her much more terrifying prospects to worry about, other than an unending pile of paperwork. However, this particular pile was taking far longer than it should have. She just couldn't focus as the Moon rose higher and higher into the sky, and her cheery little fire in the fireplace dwindled.

She quickly read over and signed yet another update on the Vanhoover dock refurbishment project, which was mainly funded by the crown. She pushed for years to have the docks reinforced or rebuilt if needed. But until recently, it was always, 'We wouldn't want to waste crown bits.' Or, 'Those bits are needed far more elsewhere.' Polite to a fault, they were. Thank Faust their new mayor had agreed with her. 'We'll get it done and under budget, eh?'

She was about to reach for the next piece on the pile but paused. Her mind shifted to earlier that day, during dinner, to something Neil said. 'Let's leave it at that, eh?'

The accent wasn't an exact match, but it was very close. Could Neil be from Vanhoover? It was a possibility, but a very low one. Too many anomalies surrounded the stallion for her to pinpoint his origin so easily. But that was a minor problem compared to the hate and rage fuelling his macabre view of the world.

She sighed, shunting that problem to the side. She needed to finish this paperwork as she reached for the pile again. And like before, she paused as the wards fluttered ever so lightly. "Eris, I wasn't expecting you to visit this fine evening."

"Oh, and what a fine evening it is!" The Spirit cheered from the inside of her unfinished paperwork pile. An instant later, papers were strewn about as the draconequus raised both of her miniature, mismatched, ink-drenched arms into the air. "It took you forever to find that little ball of chaos, and of course it took Pvt Murphy giving you a little help to do it."

Keeping a calm exterior, Celestia caught every leaf of paper in her magic. She waited politely for Eris to climb out of the page and hop onto her desk before placing the pile back where it belonged. "There isn't a single private or ranked guard member named Murphy, Eris."

"Oh please, you need to get with the times Celestia. Get out of this stuffy old tower and learn a reference, or a slang word or two!" She snapped her fingers, and Celestia, her desk, and Eris were immediately elsewhere. The buildings and the streets looked more modern, pointing her towards Fillydelphia, Manehatter, or Baltimare. "Or better yet, we could go 'window shopping' for some butt buddies. I don't know about you, but after all the times Tirek said no I could use a big, long dicking."

"Eris, I have too much work that needs to be done before I call it a night." She replied while she smiled and waved at two ponies, a stallion and a mare, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Oh, relax already!" Eris popped out of existence, only to reappear on the stallion's back. She was no longer drenched in ink but wore socks depicting lewd sex acts. "Hello, this is quite the stud you found tonight, what were his rates? If we double it, can Celestia and I join in?"

"Eris, enough!" Celestia snapped, "Leave the poor couple alone so we can discuss things back at the castle."

"Oh, isn't that adorable? She thinks you two are a couple!" Eris giggled, ruffling the stallion's braided mane. "Well Stud, it was almost your lucky night, but Celestia wants to have a nice chat with me in her private quarters. Have fun showing that Trick of yours some tricks."

Before Celestia could say anything else, the Spirit of Chaos snapped her fingers. She was back in her tower, as well as her desk. Her paperwork, however, was gone. Replaced with Eris doing her best to pose sexily on the hardwood surface.

Celestia just stared, unamused. "And my paperwork, Eris."

"Fine, you're no fun." Eris pouted, snapping her fingers. Her paperwork returned, and Eris was now floating near the fireplace. "At least somepony is getting lucky tonight."

"You didn't do anything to those ponies, did you?"

"Moi?" She asked, posing as the picture of innocence with a glowing halo above her head. "I didn't do anything. In fact, after tonight his brand is about to get a massive boost."

Celestia groaned in frustration. She did not want to track down a single stallion from one of three major metropolises. "What did you do Eris?"

"Nothing bad!" She admitted, throwing her arms up in defeat. "I just gave him a little help from Viagra. The next time he gets down and dirty with a mare, instead of four minutes, he'll give her four hours of fun."

"Four hours." Celestia deadpanned.

"Yep! Of course, if it lasts longer than that..." She snapped her fingers, and a small, blue paper appeared on her desk. "I left a copy of that glued to his front door. He can't miss it."

Celestia looked over the paper and groaned.


Viagra can cause some serious side effects...
... Yadda yadda yadda...
A prolonged erection that lasts longer than four hours...
... Yadda yadda yadda...
Visit your doctor...
... Yadda yadda yadda...


"See, he's completely safe," She gestured with her arms, suddenly wearing umpire armour, "All of his bases are covered," She then dove onto a large, white homebase, only to pop upright with a long, wooden bat she was rubbing enticingly with a cloth. "His bat will be well polished."

"Enough Eris," Celestia sighed, "There was an original reason you came here; would you like to talk about it?" 

"Him, and yes, I would," She said, immediately dropping the act. "You found Neil."

"Yes, we found him after multiple reports of something large messing around with bins. Luna also found an unusual, half-formed dream in one of the shopping districts. How long have you known about him Eris?"

"I've known about him since my powers returned to me," She admitted flippantly.

"And you had nothing to do with his appearance?"

"Absolutely nothing, I can assure you. If I had known about him before my powers were stolen, Tirek would have sucked off your new Boytoy during his visit to Canterlot. And he was already here after my powers returned. Ergo, I had no way of bringing him here."

"And the chaos magic cycling through his body?"

"I haven't the slightest idea, but it gets me tingly just thinking about it!" She admitted as her lioness paw slowly inched further down her stomach. "Are you suuuure you don't want to go out and get laid?"

"I'm sure. There is one last thing I'd like to ask before you leave."

"Oh, and what would that be?"

"Leave Neil alone," She all but ordered in a no-nonsense tone. "I don't think he would enjoy your certain brand of... chaos, in his current state."

Eris' paw froze, just inches from her goal, as her eyes narrowed. "...Fine, I'll leave your Boytoy alone. For now." And with that last word, she vanished.

Celestia waited for a full minute. If Eris planned a delayed prank, it would go off in the first minute most of the time. When nothing happened, she released a long, agonizing sigh. A quick look to the Moon told her that Eris' visit cost her another half an hour of lost sleep.

Perhaps she could regain it if she pushed through her paperwork? With her goal in mind, she attacked the ever-present pile of unfinished paperwork.

Only after reading the thirteenth document did she find Eris' prank. One single 'O' on each page was intersected with an 'i', but the accent line was curved and very... splashy, instead of straight.

Celestia groaned, knowing she would have to look over every page on her desk and correct all of the misprints.
> 3. Oral Jousting
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 16th: 2nd Day Since Capture)

"Rise and shiiiine~"

Neil twitched, eyes snapping open at the sudden, melodious intrusion waking him from sleep. In his half-asleep daze, he wasted precious seconds jerking his head back and forth, looking for the source of the intrusion before he realized that, once again, he was curled up in a bed like an animal with a sheet fully covering him. 

Still, he needed to figure out what or who had woken him up. He was just starting to squirm out from underneath the sheet when the tension dissipated. His bedsheet was pulled down to reveal not one but two separate nurses loosening it for him, one on each side of the bed.

A quick, cautious glance told him they were both mares. The first mare had an older, no-nonsense vibe about her as she folded the sheet professionally. She had a pinkish purple coat, a colour that Neil couldn't remember the name of in his drowsy state and a darker green mane with streaks of gray. Whether natural or from age, he couldn't tell.

By contrast, Neil could only describe the second mare as a bronze bombshell. Literally, given her gleaming bronze-coloured coat, sun-blond hair, and patina eyes, which exuded a bubbly playfulness as she looked at him. She was a few steps away from the bed, allowing her aura to mirror the other nurse's efforts. 

Neil's upper half was freed soon enough, allowing him just enough time to clamp his front legs down against the bed, pinning the bedsheet down before they could expose his lower belly. 

"What the fuck is going on?" He groaned, trying to keep an eye on his two intruders while blinking at the suddenly brighter light streaming into his room.

The younger mare visibly flinched at his choice in vocabulary, but the prim and proper nurse was quick to answer. "The Princess felt it prudent to update your file last night after learning about your inability to use all types of magic." She stated, sounding both strict and posh at the same time. "That is why Nurse Heart and I are here, to help prepare you before your breakfast is delivered. You may call me Nurse Rose."

"Well, Nurse Rose, I can take care of myself well enough," He countered, keeping a firm hold on the sheet despite Nurse Heart's light tugging with her aura. "So if you would kindly get the hell outta here?"

Instead of being outraged or offended, the older mare raised a brow imperiously. "Yes, it was quite clear to me how well you took care of yourself. Garbage-drenched matted fur, loose and twisted feathers, and three separate ticks I had to remove. Let alone the hours I spent untangling the hundreds of knots out of your mane and tail once the specialist finished repairing your horn. You've proven yourself uniquely qualified to take care of yourself."

"Yeah, well, I'd like to see how well you fucking do on the streets without plumbing." He spat somewhat petulantly, surprised at the fact he had ticks living on him. 

"Well, as much as I love the smell of a sweaty stallion, we have plumbing here! So let's get you out of bed and washed up for the day," Nurse Heart cheered forcefully, effectively stalling the burgeoning argument. "Um, could you let go of the bedsheet now?"

Was he sweaty? He was tempted to check, but not with both mares there. "I could," Neil answered for the overly cheerful morning pony. "But I'd rather get out of bed without exposing myself."

"Expose yourself?" Nurse Heart asked, confused, "If you mean your ba-"

"Heart! If Neil does not wish to reveal certain things to us, that is his choice." She chided, turning towards the bathroom door while ignoring Nurse Heart's disappointed 'Awwwww'. "Very well, we shall give you a minute while we prepare for you. Do not run away like your vain attempt yesterday."

It didn't take long for Nurse Heart to catch up with Nurse Rose and pass through the door. When it closed, he jumped out of bed and trotted to the exit. As if he was going to allow two mares, one of which was clearly a pervert, to wash him.

Once he was up close and personal, he nudged the door open with his shoulder, hoping to see the same empty hall as he had yesterday. Instead, a metallic gold took up what little he could see through the sliver. A moment later, the door was covered in a brown aura and opened fully. One stallion guard with wings was revealed to be right next to him, while a second was half-hidden by the door, his horn aglow.

"Do you require assistance?" The guard right next to him asked.

Seeing his plan unravelled before it began, he gave a hail mary. "You wouldn't happen to know where the nearest exit is, do you?"

"We do."

Neil gave him a few seconds to elaborate before prodding again. "Can you tell me where it is?"

"We can escort you there once the nurses clear you for the day." He stated with a tone of finality.

"Ah," Was all he said now that he knew his situation. He backed away from the door, and soon enough, the aura dissipated, allowing it to freely swing closed on its own. "Fucking Asshole," He muttered when he thought the guard couldn't hear him. Now what? That was the question as he idly walked to the nearest window.

There were at least two guards in the hallway. Two nurses were in his bathroom, one drooling for the chance to visually molest him. The other already had an up close and personal look while he was knocked unconscious, which made him feel antsy as hell. Her only saving grace was her professionalism so far. He didn't think she did anything more perverted than stealing a look or two.

The idea of hopping out of a window briefly popped into his head. But he shut that down, knowing he was four floors up. Even if he survived the fall from that height, he'd be unable to walk, let alone escape. The second major flaw was the amount of guards. He spotted multiple pairs on the walls, in the skies, and patrolling the grounds, all of which could easily spot him as he fell. For a brief moment, Neil thought the Captain might have had a hand in that, changing the patrol pattern to keep his room always watched. And the final flaw? He couldn't see any way to open the window.

He picked up the faintest squeak of a hinge before Nurse Rose called into the room, "We're ready for you. Hurry up, lest your breakfast shows up before you're ready."

Knowing Heart was a unicorn and that she would probably relish the chance to envelop her aura over his entire body, he reluctantly complied. She was kind enough to hold the door open for him as he surveyed what passed for modern pony plumbing for the first time.

Nurse Heart was sitting in the shower area, with multiple bottles of shampoo, conditioner, brushes, and other cleaning products sitting at the ready beside her. Just from his quick glance, he estimated four ponies his size or six more Nurse Hearts could fit inside before it felt too cramped. Why ponies needed such a large area for a shower, he couldn't fathom at the moment, but it took up an entire third of the room.

About three feet from the shower was a trough-like structure built into the floor, slanting towards the wall. A bar was set into the wall, sticking two-ish feet out and only a little below the height of his back. He might have questioned what it was without the paper roll hanging from a little stand near the front of the trough. He even spotted a small pedal built into the base of the toilet paper stand, which he assumed was to flush the pony toilet.

The sink was in the opposite corner from the shower, complete with a mirror and a fluffy hand towel. Neil only gave it a cursory glance when he entered. But as he walked by, he froze, catching the barest hint of blue. Uncaring what the nurses thought, he stepped back a few paces and veered toward the mirror.

He'd seen vague reflections of himself before, mostly at night in shop windows or the fountain he drank at. Now, however, there was an immaculate depiction standing before him. He ignored the state of his fur, hair, and wings. With his new neck, he could look at those anytime. At first, he spared a cursory glance at his horn. The bottom half was covered in white plaster, which he presumed to be a cast to help his recovery. A ring with a sapphire set into the metal was also at the base of his horn, melded into the dressing.

However, What drew Neil's attention was the large, comically sized pony eyes that stared back at him. Despite the difference in size, he recognized that particular shade of blue-grey. Those were his eyes, down to the lightening-esque patterned furrows surrounding the iris. Unknown emotions welled within him. Previously, he thought the only humanity left within him was his mind. But this proved, without a doubt, that at least one part of his humanity survived physically on this body...

Only for Nurse Rose to yank him back from his inner maelstrom as he felt a hoof press against his shoulder. "Are you alright Neil?" She asked primly, "You've been staring at your reflection for over a minute."

"I'm fine," He snapped, ripping his gaze away from the mirror and his shoulder from her touch. "Let's just get this over with."

Nurse Rose's imperious brow told him she knew something was wrong, but she didn't comment on his behaviour as they walked side by side towards the shower. Once inside the glass shower, he plopped onto his butt in the center and brought his legs together, ensuring Nurse Heart couldn't peek at him as he waited for them to do their thing.

If the younger nurse noticed his actions, she didn't react as her aura took hold of a small, unusual object. It was a piece of paper that appeared to be folded into a long cone. He only had a moment to wonder what the hell it was for before she deftly slipped it over his horn with her aura. He could hear the sound of paper crinkling, though he couldn't see what was done.

After that, her green-blue aura danced around the shower as various objects came to life. First was a brush, which she passed to Nurse Rose, and was quickly slipped over the elder nurse's hoof. At the same time, a bottle of shampoo zipped from the ground and over his head, only to be met with a detachable shower head. Water was the only missing factor, quickly remedied as the hot and cold knobs were enveloped and turned together.

Neil immediately tensed, expecting a deluge of freezing cold water. Instead, the water was mildly warm. 

"Is the water hot enough for you Cutie? Or would you like me to turn up the heat?" She asked innocently, though her smile was a touch more playful than it was previously.

"It could be a little warmer," He conceded neutrally, unsure if she intended the innuendo or if it was an innocent slip. 

Once Nurse Heart dialled in on his preferred temperature, she slowly levitated the shower head around his entire body, leaving him drenched from head to tail. Trailing behind was the shampoo bottle, leaving small dollops every three to four inches along his back. Near the end, she held the water spray against his legs, obviously waiting for him to move. But he adamantly denied her access to the parts she most wanted to oggle.

During that time, Nurse Rose stood on his opposite side. She started with his neck, lightly scrubbing the shampoo into his fur and hair with a small, concise, circular pattern. When the mare reached his shoulder, Neil felt himself starting to relax under her care. She was shifting to his front right leg when Nurse Heart turned off the water with a knob on the shower head and placed it aside.

A second, perhaps two, passed after that before he felt a second brush make contact with his butt. "Fuck!" He jolted upright, his tail firmly clenched as he turned, glaring at the floating brush, then at the unicorn wielding it. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She seemed genuinely surprised by his reaction, "Um, scrubbing you down like we're supposed to..?"

Nurse Rose, who was also caught off guard and pushed aside by his sudden movement, took a moment to glance at her now damp coat in mild annoyance before adding her own opinion. "Neil, we're here to prepare you for the day. That includes scrubbing your posterior, which I might remind you, I have done once before. Still," She added, looking to her fellow nurse, "I think Nurse Heart was a little too eager in her duties, starting where she did."

Nurse Heart was more than a little eager, or so Neil thought. She was downright thirsty for some alicorn, and he wasn't willing to give. He also wasn't a fan of the way she blithely threw in his face how she washed his ass before. "And what exactly are you preparing me for?"

"Whatever it is you wish to do today, whether it be exploring the castle or reading a book," She brushed aside before adding sternly, "But you simply must look your best, or you may give the Nobility the wrong impression when you inevitably meet!"

Meeting the nobility? As if he would willingly talk with pompous assholes like them. "Why the fuck should I care about that?"

Nurse Heart was quick to offer a not-so-helpful suggestion. "Because a good first impression is a great way to make some friends?"

'Like how you keep trying to molest me with your eyes?' Went unsaid as he scoffed. "It would be better if they didn't know I exist," He then turned towards Nurse Rose. "Speaking of, now that I think about it, who knows about me?"

She didn't answer right away, clearly thinking about her answer. Why, though, Neil couldn't exactly guess. Eventually, she told him, "Right after it was confirmed you were a legitimate alicorn, the entirety of the senior castle staff, the infirmary staff, and the castle garrison were informed of your existence yesterday morning. The Princesses know as well, obviously. The only other ponies that know of your existence would be the three city guards mentioned in the report. And having been sworn to secrecy, I can only deduce that those three guards were also sworn to silence by the Princesses."

That not-so-little revelation had Neil sitting back down on his haunches. "The guard, you and the rest of the infirmary, and the castle staff?" He groaned, knowing the cat had not only escaped the bag, but shredded it to small, irreparable pieces. "Why not tell the whole fucking world at this point?"

"We can't. That's the whole point of being sworn to secrecy!" Nurse Heart oh-so-helpfully reminded him. "It's up to the Princesses when your coronation is, you silly colt."

"And what the hell is a coronation?" He asked, trying to ignore the creeping dread bristling his fur at the base of his neck.

"Oh, it's a wonderful party!" She cheered, almost bouncing in place from her excitement. "I was there for the previous one when Princess Twilight was coronated, and now there's going to be a second one. Imagine that, being alive for two coronations!"

Before he could thoroughly sift through her babble, Nurse Rose reasserted herself. "Yes, imagine that. I was alive when Princess Cadenza was crowned, you know," She informed her colleague as she returned to her scrubbing duties on his leg. "So Neil's soon-to-be coronation will be my third. Now, start from the neck and work your way down."

Neil was too busy sorting out his thoughts about this new bombshell that was dropped on him. They wanted to give him a crown? Make him a leader, just like Twilight, a princess he'd heard of in passing and this entirely new Cadenza? What the fuck was wrong with them, and why did they think he was qualified? Was this Celestia's plan all along? Play the long game, tie him down with responsibilities, and hope he goes native? Or was he jumping to conclusions again?

He kept his thoughts to himself for once as both nurses continued their scrubbing. It wasn't long before he was a single giant blob of bubbles with long, scraggly black hair and a head. Nurse Heart even learned her lesson earlier during the rubdown, leaving anything even remotely sensitive to Nurse Rose. The older nurse did her job professionally, only skirting the edge in a few areas that Neil mentally deemed too far.

Nurse Rose took a step back, giving him a quick look before signalling Nurse Heart to pick up the shower head and turn on the water. The temperature was just as warm as before as the suds covering him were washed away. Once he was done, they quickly doused their brushes and started the process again with a second bottle. 

A third was added after that, this one being the first with a strong scent of mixed citrus fruits. They didn't use much either, adding small dabs to areas like where Neil's armpits should have been, his chest, and the base of his neck before rubbing it in. He assumed it was some sort of scented deodorant as they quickly finished.

Nurse Heart quickly placed everything back in its original place and turned the water knobs off with her telekinesis. Her aura didn't fade from her horn, though. Instead, it grew brighter, and she concentrated on him and Nurse Rose.

Neil was about to ask what she was doing, only for the aura to flash. One second, he felt the weight of his damp fur pulling him down towards the floor. The next second? It was gone. He was perfectly dry, alongside Nurse Rose and the entire shower stall. He thought they might have been done for a second, but then the now dry brushes were rearmed to assault his coat and make it presentable. 

Two more tools joined Nurse Heart's floating collection, the first being a comb that attacked his mane. The second was a weird, comb-like metal tool with well-spaced prongs. This triggered an odd sensation as it brushed along his wings, gliding in between and sorting out his feathers. He didn't know precisely what it did, but his feathers looked straighter and smoother after she was done. Soon after, she was also done combing his hair, at which point she tried to add a ribbon. However, a glare from Neil was enough to make her back down from that course of action. She was also smart enough to pass the comb to Nurse Rose when ready, allowing the elder mare to straighten his tail without pulling it aside or revealing anything.

Neil spoke only after Nurse Rose offered the comb back for Nurse Heart to put away. "Are you done?"

"Your mane and tail are still lacking, but aside from an accent ribbon or two, we aren't stylists." She readily admitted as she walked a complete circle around him, looking for any detail out of place. "In my opinion? Yes, until you get some accessories to spruce you up, you appear as presentable as we can make you."

"What she's trying to say is you're hot, just not smoking hot. Yet!" Nurse Heart added, brushing up against his side with her rump as she trotted out of the shower.

Against his better judgement, Neil followed, with Nurse Rose taking up the rear as they exited back into his room. It was clear that another nurse had entered his room and left already. The adjustable table Nurse Mint had been working at the previous day was moved to his bed, which had been remade and had a large bowl of something sitting on it. Whatever it was, its sweet smell had had enough time to permeate the room while he was being cleaned.

Nurse Heart was already waiting for him at the far side of his bed.

"It would seem we're a little behind schedule, which is unfortunate." Nurse Rose stated while standing beside him. "Do you require our assistance, given your inability to hold items?"

"I think I can handle eating on my own," He groused, walking up to the table to see what he would be eating. It looked like some kind of pink porridge but with plenty of cut strawberries. "Otherwise, I would have starved to death weeks ago."

"Very well. In that case, Nurse Heart and I had better get a start on our paperwork." She informed him as she made her way to the door leading out of his room. It was clear Nurse Heart wanted to stay and help, but after a quick "Come along now" To prompt her along, Nurse Heart left her position to catch up.

Before they exited the room, Neil cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I could use Nurse Heart for a minute or two." While he wouldn't say he trusted either mare, Neil felt he could rely more on Nurse Rose's professionalism. 

Unfortunately, he needed Nurse Heart's telekinesis more. A decision he immediately regretted when her ears shot upright, and a noticeable shiver travelled down her entire back, all the way to her twitching tail.

She immediately turned broadside to him, a look of surprised elation painted over her muzzle.

Nurse Rose merely quirked her trademark eyebrow, as if asking about his sudden turn-around concerning her fellow nurse? "You heard the stallion. Just don't overdo it, lest he requires another shower." And with that parting remark, she slipped out the door.

Nurse Heart had just enough patience to allow the door to settle before the excitement in her eyes faded into something far more amorous. "Soooo... Playing hard to get in front of Prim Rose? You're a naughty colt. Do you want a special, one-on-one medicinal massage?" To accentuate her point, she swayed her rump from side to side as she intentionally flagged her tail.

Neil was slightly caught off guard by the sudden switch between the bubbly nurse and seductress. He was thankful that, at this angle, he couldn't see what was swaying around underneath her tail. "Actually, I need you to send a message to Celestia if you can do that?"

That simple request pulled the wind out of her sails, as her ears clearly drooped and her tail went to half-flagged. But only for a moment before she perked up once more. "Sure I can! I can also bring back her reply if you want one?"

"If she needs to reply, just leave it on the table." He offered, though he was sure Celestia wouldn't reply with a simple letter. "I won't be here after I finish breakfast."

"Oh. In that case, I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked hopefully, as her bubbly personality returned. "Anyway, let's get this letter started!" Her horn lit up, and a clipboard Neil hadn't noticed before lifted up from the end of his bed. She slipped a piece of parchment from it, with what appeared to be an empty chart on one side, and flipped it over to the blank side. She quickly positioned the pencil attached to the board by a piece of string, ready to write.

"Okay, I want you to write this down, word for word." He told her, pausing momentarily to think of the best way to say it before delivering his message. "Celestia, I've recently learned that you plan to conscript me into your government with a coronation. If that is true, I may feel the need to go for a tour along the tallest plateau in Canterlot. I might even take a dive if I feel like it."

He waited for Nurse Heart to look up before nodding to confirm the end of his message. She quickly returned the clipboard with her telekinesis. Still, she was also looking at the message, then him, then back to the message, confused.

"Is this some sort of weird alicorn code? I mean, if you want a tour of Canterlot, I could ask? I think it would be fun after being cooped up in the castle! Then after, we could go to my apartment," She offered, a touch of lust bleeding into her expression once more before she reigned it in. "If you want, of course."

Neil took the diplomatic route, "We'll see what Celestia says," Before he prodded her to leave. "So, are you going to deliver that?"

"Can do. See you later Cutie!" She flipped around and trotted to the door. Her forgotten tail was still half-flagged, forcing Neil to stare intently at his porridge until he heard the door close.

The first thing he did was release an aggravated sigh to vent some of his frustrations. He didn't know what it was, but the longer Nurse Heart talked with her perky naivety, the less he wanted to make her sad. He hated making a girl cry just as much as the next guy, but something about her proximity compounded it. Perhaps it was her weird, not-so-innocent innocence?

It was something he could think about later. For now, he had an alicorn-sized bowl to scarf down, and then... what? Besides getting out of his room, of course. He pressed his muzzle against the table ledge, pushing it away from his bed. He was tall enough that he could eat standing up. That way, he wouldn't wrinkle or accidentally spill on his newly folded bedsheets.

Once the table cleared his bed, he dove in muzzle first. Like most pony food, it was a near-euphoric experience. But he could tell right away they added more than just strawberries. It was very, very sweet to the point where he could almost imagine his human teeth rotting on contact. The fact that this was a recommended breakfast in a hospital confused him.

Despite the excessive sweetness, he still finished the bowl quickly. There was also a glass of water set aside, but he didn't want to risk tipping it over in an attempt to drink from it. Instead, he could kill two birds with one stone as he returned to the bathroom.

He found himself staring at his reflection for the second time that day, but he ignored it this time. He hooked his wrist over the knob coloured blue on the sink and pulled, turning the water on at full blast. He quickly slaked his thirst and washed the excess porridge off his muzzle before pushing the knob back off with his hoof.

Neil gave the hand towel hanging beside the sink a quick nuzzle with both sides of his muzzle, doing a decent job of drying himself off. He ignored the odd short hair that stuck at odd angles as he gave himself one final look in the mirror. He was finally good to go and leave this accursed hospital room for the last time, hopefully...

After taking care of his morning business, now that he had a private moment to think about those needs. He exited the bathroom ten minutes later, feeling far more refreshed.

His empty bowl was still on the table, confirming that no other nurses had entered his room. He couldn't carry it, and even if he could, he had no idea where to drop it off. So he left it where it sat as he pushed through his door and into the hallway.

Both of the guards were there, standing at attention. "Do you require assistance?" The pegasus stallion asked in the same neutral tone as before.

"Yes," He answered, trying to match the guard's blasé attitude. "First of all, can I leave?"

"Nurses Prim Rose and Passion Heart cleared you for the day, Sir." The pegasus guard confirmed.

That was a nice tidbit of good news for Neil. "Good. Now, can you escort me to the nearest exit into Canterlot?"

"By order of Captain Buckler, we can't allow you near the castle exits, Sir."

That tidbit of information wasn't so good. "Uh, didn't you say earlier you could take me to the exit?" He asked, swearing that the guard said the opposite earlier that morning.

"We can escort you to the nearest exit of this building, Sir."

Neil felt the sudden urge to slam his head and, by proxy, his horn into the nearest wall. "Can you lead me to the library then?"

"We can, Sir." He offered, not moving a single millimetre.

"...Fine, keep playing this bullshit game." He said, walking past the two guards. At least, he tried. The pegasus flanked on his right side while the unicorn trotted to his left before matching Neil's pace, just like Celestia's guards positioned themselves the previous day.

"Keep going straight until you hit the opposite end of the infirmary," The pegasus informed Neil without prompting. "After that turn left, go through the back exit, and keep going straight until you run into the staircase. Go down after that."

Neil followed his directions. Still, a small part of him wondered what would happen if he veered off the path. Would the guard harp at him like a cheap GPS? Or would the guard stay silent, allowing him to get lost?

He didn't experiment. Instead, he tried to ask the guards questions. Some were about the castle, others were about Celestia or Captain Buckler. None of the answers were satisfactory, being short and to the point with as little information as possible. 'I have a feeling Captain Asshat still doesn't like me.' He was split on whether that was a good thing or not.

After the stairs, which Neil took with extreme caution, the guard simply told him to go straight until a set of double doors came up on his left. Not much time passed, maybe five minutes, before he spotted the set of doors the pegasus spoke about. Both doors were a simple, two-tone brown rectangle pattern, with three red diamonds in the centre of each one.

Without fanfare, Neil went to bite down on the handle, but the unicorn was quicker. He enveloped the metal bar with his aura and pulled it open to reveal a large, open entrance hall at least two floors tall with a massive curved desk to his right.

"Well, well, it seems I have some visitors. Come in, come in!" An elderly voice called out from behind the desk. A grandmotherly unicorn with a faded yellow coat sat on a big, comfy-looking office chair. Her aged grey hair was done up in a messy bun, and she wore thick bottle-cap glasses with flimsy-looking wireframes. To help keep her glasses securely tethered, she also had a delicate gold chain attached to the frame, wrapping around the back of her neck. "You must be new, Sonny-colt. Come here so I can take a good look at you."

Unsure of what exactly was going on, Neil complied. Slowly. He noted that the guards followed him into the library instead of posting themselves at the door as he hoped they would. 

"Now, don't be shy; trot on up!" The elder continued her vocal assessment as he walked closer to the desk. "Yep, definitely new. I would have remembered a tall, dark, and broody stallion if I'd seen you before. And no wonder! What happened to your horn?" 

As a librarian, she was undoubtedly talkative. And her comment about him looking broody had him second-guessing himself. He wasn't broody, right? "I'm told it was cracked after I ran into a guard," He told her honestly.

"Ouch. At least you survived the experience. But why would you go and do a dumb thing like..." She paused, her comically enhanced eyes narrowing to look at him closely while leaning over to look at his right side. The next moment, her eyes widened as she likely spotted a wing folded against his side. "Hallowed hardcopy, you're the fella we were told about! The male alicorn!" She declared almost reverently. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd see a stallion to match the Princesses, yet here you stand in my library."

Neil had no idea how to handle the situation. However, just the thought that he could match Celestia in any way? He couldn't help but chuckle. "Heh, I'm not matching anyone at the moment."

"You'll get better in time. For example, I've worked in this library for nearly a century, yet I'm as spry as I was in my fifties. All in the mind, you know? Now, if I remember the briefing right, you had a foreign name. Niles? Is that it?"

"Close. It's Neil, Ms.?"

"Mrs. Tome Keeper, Head Librarian of the Canterlot Castle Archives. And before you get any ideas, Sonny-prince, I'll hold that title until I die. No retiring for this old nag, no matter what the Princesses say! So don't you start either."

"You don't have to worry about me, Mrs. Keeper," He conceded, unsure why she thought he could revoke her title. "I'm not a prince, so I can't do a thing about your job. I came here to do some research."

"Research? Well, then, you came to the right place! What are you looking for?" She asked, hopping off her chair with far more grace than Neil expected, given her frail-looking body. "I'd suggest spellwork, but you won't be touching those for a good few weeks at least."

"I'm new to Equestria, so I hoped to get some history books about the country, the Princesses, and the guard." He told her while keeping an eye on the elderly mare. He didn't want her to fall and injure herself on his account. "Also, we may speak the same language, but you have four ways of writing it. I'll need a primer for that, and the most up-to-date text covering every other country."

Tome Keeper walked about a quarter ways along her desk before her horn lit up red, and a section of the desk flipped up. "Well, if you want a primer on modern Equish, that can be found in the linguistics section right in front of my desk." She told him as she walked over to that specific section of shelves.

Neil was quick to follow, and the guards kept close to him.

"This will work fine enough," She said confidently as her red aura manifested again. This time, it covered the spine of a book near the top of the shelf before she brought it down in front of him. The Ins and Outs of Modern Equish, was the title. "But if you want the real ins and outs of the written words, I would recommend an in-depth history book focused solely on the evolution to modern Equish."

She gave a critical eye, not to the books or the shelves, but at the two guards trailing Neil. Until she pointed at the unicorn, that is. "You!" The text in her aura immediately floated over to the guard. "You're on book-carrying duty since Neil's horn is busted."

The guard quickly saluted and said, "Yes, Ma'am!" before her red levitation was replaced with his brown. He promptly deposited the book onto his back, where it surprisingly stayed as the group walked over to the history section. 

Once there, Tome Keeper went to work. Pulling one book after another from the surrounding shelves. Each covered different topics that fell roughly into the categories Neil had asked for. He wouldn't be starved for information, that was for sure. At one point, after the fourth book he couldn't read the title of passed by, Neil had to admit he couldn't read certain types of writing. Tome was quick to brush his worry aside, identifying Unicornian Hieroglyphs and Sky-Writing as the culprits before boasting that almost every book in the archive had a copy written in Unified Script. She quickly and easily replaced the books he couldn't read in less than a minute. By the time she was done, three stacks of books were balanced on the unicorn guard's back. 

Each stack was at least six books deep, yet they didn't topple despite his movement's slight back-and-forth sway. Neil's first thought was some form of telekinesis? The guard's horn wasn't glowing, but that was a possibility. It was also a question for another time. As it was, Neil had more than enough reading material for the next month, let alone the rest of the day, to get through. 

Soon enough, Tome Keeper led them to an area where eight separate sections would have intersected if not for the large, open reading area set up. Neil's first impression was a giant eight-point compass, with each section sitting on a cardinal or intercardinal direction. Of the twelve tables there, eight were set in a loose circle pattern. Leaving ample space in between to pass by and access the final four tables in the center that also pointed north, south, east, and west. At least, Neil assumed they were pointing in the correct direction.

Either way, he was quick to claim the closest table set in the circle, not that there was any pony in the library to compete with. The guard carrying his books also took the hint as he gently levitated all twenty-one books onto the table before Neil.

"That should be enough to keep you busy for the rest of the day," Tome said with a certain amount of satisfaction. "And don't you worry none about any books you don't get through. Drop by the desk, and I'll have your library card ready. Happy reading!" She then shuffled off, back where they came from, with a happy little hop in her step.

This left Neil alone. Just himself, a large pile of books, and the two silent guards. Each of them silently claimed an end of the table to stand guard at.

Neil felt that without Tome Keeper there, his two escorts would be just as helpful as they were before entering the library. So, biting the proverbial bullet, he used both front hooves to carefully clamp down on the top book of the right pile and lower it aside. He did this twice more until he uncovered the history overview he was looking for.

If not for the title, the section it was removed from, and its thickness, Neil would have thought the brightly coloured cover of Equestria Throughout the Ages wasn't a history book. It looked more like a whimsical travel guide, with its happy depiction of a miniature Canterlot on a mountain, a knock-off New York to the side, and even a city floating on a cloud behind the title.

At the very least, it questioned the book's authority as he nudged the cover open with a hoof. Instead of a cover page, there was a short message from the author.


Greetings Dear Reader,

It humbles my heart that you would choose to read my historical textbook. I have dedicated my life to the historiography of our fair kingdom, and I take no greater pride than to share my knowledge with you. I must warn you, though, Dear Reader. Not all ages were as bright or as tranquil as our modern era. Some periods, like the Reign of Eris, were times of great evil and despair. I have done my best to document these travesties despite their unsettling contents. 

I do not blame you if you wish to skip over those sections or set aside this text. I just ask that you remember, through the bravery and courage of our Princesses, their radiance always shines away the darkness.

-History Buff


This did not help his opinion on the matter. Still, misgivings or not, he pressed his nose against the paper and flipped page after page to the introductory chapter.


~~~


Neil lost track of time. Had he spent an hour reading? Or had it been hours? He couldn't tell as he slowly and methodically did his best to understand the history text in front of him. But it was hard. Even with the author going into minute details, he couldn't deny that events in equestrian history read like pure fantasy.

It also confirmed the events Celestia talked to him about, repeating her retelling almost word for word, with only a minor, if pointless, difference here and there. Neil would have thought Celestia learned from this textbook if not for two glaring facts. 

First, she was often cited as the primary source of information from the Age of Eris and onwards. Of course, these could be quotes from the original Celestia. Or the current Celestia could be quoting her ancestors.

The second was a page near the end of the chapter covering Eris' Reign. An entire page was dedicated to a single colour photo, showing an authentic painting created shortly after Eris' imprisonment. Its contents revealed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing side by side in victory, with six intricately cut jewels hovering around them. In the background, two of each pony tribe also stood, adoring the two saviours. Neil wasn't sure if it was just the painting's perspective, but Celestia and Luna looked closer in height to the regular ponies instead of how she towered over her two guards yesterday.

There was no doubt that this had to be Celestia's ancestor. But how? They were identical twins, except for their height. A small part of him needled that maybe, just maybe, it was Celestia. The current one. But then again, what did he really know about this place? Despite his time here, he hadn't seen a single kid. For all he knew, children could look like identical copies of either parent.

He was four centuries into the Great Era of Peace, when his ears perked up. The rhythmic sound of metal shoes and moving armour came up from behind him. Prying himself from his not-so-riveting text, he quickly glanced at each of his guards. Neither had reacted in any way as the new armoured pony came closer.

With a mental shrug at their apparent apathy, he turned with his neck just in time to spot the surprise of all surprises, sarcasm included: a pony with white fur, white wings, and well-fitting golden armour that had just breached the shelves. This stallion, however, was at least a few inches taller than the pegasus that escorted him and visibly muscular. He was strangely familiar, but Neil brushed it aside as all the guards were white, like a weird uniform. Or Celestia's secret kink.

The new guard stopped one body length away from Neil and saluted. His armoured hoof stopped just millimetres short of making what would likely have been a resounding clang against his helmet. And there he stayed, staring unblinkingly at Neil.

Neil, for his part, gave a pointed look at the shorter pegasus, then the unicorn, expecting them to do something. But they just stood there. Begrudgingly, Neil swung out of his chair and stood facing the guard. After a second, he also nodded to the new guard, which was apparently good enough. 

He promptly lowered his hoof with a distinct clack, then spoke with a noticeable southern United States accent. "Private Bulk Order, reporting as ordered, Sir!"

Before Neil could even think of a proper response, his pegasus escort did so for him. "Reporting under whose orders, Private?"

Private Bulk was just as quick to answer while still keeping his eyes on Neil. "Princess Celestia's, Sergeant Gust."

"Carry on then," The Sergeant ordered with a touch less bluster. 

Neil guessed that name-dropping Celestia meant this was something serious. Of course, it took a few seconds of silence until it finally clicked that he was supposed to jump into the conversation. "So, what does Celestia want now?"

"Beggin' your pardon, Sir, but Princess Celestia sent me here at my request." He admitted, with only a hint of... something hidden underneath his military professionalism. "I came to apologize."

"Okaaay?" Neil stretched, trying to think of some guard that seriously wronged him while he was on the streets. As far as he knew, the guard didn't even know he existed until he was found. He came up with nothing. "And what the hell do you need to apologize for?"

"I didn' mean for anything to happen firsta all," Private Bulk explained, "But I was the fella you ran into, that caused your horn to crack. I'm sorry for causin' you harm."

Once again, Neil's mind swerved back to that night. The rain, the chase, and the large, imposing pegasus that appeared out of nowhere, the same pegasus that now stood in front of him before all he knew was all-consuming pain. He couldn't help but physically flinch at the fresh remnants plaguing his mind. "Neither of us could see around that corner or react in time," Neil eventually offered diplomatically. "Anything else?"

"Either way, I feel like I've wronged you," Private Bulk apologized earnestly. "I've submitted my request to join your personal guard. Princess Celestia gave her okay, so long as you agree as well, Sir."

Neil couldn't contain his groan as he immediately spat out, "I need less fucking guards babysitting me, not more."

"... As you wish, Sir." Private Bulk offered, his visible presence deflating to match his now dejected tone. "The Princess also requests that you join her for dinner tonight." Apparently, that was the entirety of his message as he turned around to leave.

When Neil called after him, Private Bulk was about to reach the shelves. "If I say yes, are you going to replace one of these two?" It would be better to have one of his guards feeling indebted to him, at the very least, compared to none.

The large pegasus froze, then slowly turned around. "Um, not today Sir. I'll act as an attaché for the rest of the day and be a permanent guard tomorrow." He admitted, somewhat hopefully.

"What the hell is an attaché?"

"I don' know the exact meanin'," Private Bulk admitted, "But I guess I'm your personal servant for the day?"

"That... doesn't sound all that useful at the moment," Neil shrugged, turning around so he could gesture towards his book stacks with a hoof. 

"Well Sir, if you thinka needin' anythin' I'm here." Private Bulk offered, sitting behind and slightly to the left of Neil's chair.

Neil was somewhat weirded out by Private Bulk's choice of spot but didn't say anything as he climbed back into his seat. He found the paragraph where he left off, something about settlers heading northeast, and continued his research.

Five pages later, while reading about the founding of Trottingham (and the following squabbles between griffons and ponies), a portrait of a mare popped up wearing a dapper-looking bowtie. Apparently, she was both the leader of the settler caravan, the founder of Trottingham and the mayor for the next twenty-three years. At first, he disregarded it as a minor fact, something he would never need to know. But the picture kept nagging him.

It wasn't until he turned back the page, looked over the miniature portrait again, and focused on the bowtie that it clicked. 'Ponies wear clothing, Dumbass!' And he now had someone to get him clothing to blend in and hide what he was.

Still looking at the page, Neil addressed his new attaché. "Bulk, I have a question for you."

"What is it Sir?" Private Bulk replied immediately.

"Do you know any clothing shops that sell in my size?"

"I know a few that deal with larger stallions like us, Sir." Private Bulk answered a little too fast. "Is there anythin' specific you need?"

"I can think of a few things I'd like," Neil shared warily, 'If I was still human, at least,' Went unsaid. "I just don't know the proper outfits in Canterlot."

Private Bulk was more than willing to jump at the opportunity. "If you want, I can help with that. Just have to hop over to the fancy places, pick up a few tuxes, maybe a tophat, and drop 'em off for the Royal Tailor. She'll have you fitted in no time Sir."

Neil immediately commented on the most startling aspect of Private Bulk's answer. "This Royal Tailor already knows about me?" After the pegasus nodded, Neil continued. "Fine, and when you say tux, are you talking about the full thing or just the front half?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by that," Private Bulk admitted after a few seconds. "If you just get a flashy lapel, it covers the neck. A full tux ends about here," He gestured up and down his side, maybe an inch past his wing joint.

Neil sighed, hoping that wasn't the case. "That's just the top half of a tuxedo," He started, hopping off his seat. The alicorn then poked Bulk on his ankle just above his armoured hoof. "I'm talking the full thing, which has long sleeves starting here, covering your entire front leg, and ending about here," He then poked the stallion in the side, below where the armour plating ended, roughly where Neil felt a human waist should be. "And overlapping with a matching pair of pants."

Private Bulk just stared at him with a look of utter confusion.

"You do know what pants are, right?"

"I know what pants are Sir." Private Bulk answered, still looking at him like he'd grown a second head. "It's just, the only pony I ever saw wearin' 'em was a rodeo clown. You'd stick out like a cracked hoof in Canterlot wearin' a pair."

Of course, this fucked up world would make pants unwearable. If men wore pants, you wouldn't be able to molest them with your eyes! "Damnit. In that case, is there anything I could wear that would cover my body without looking weird?"

"If I may Sir, why do you need clothes?" Private Bulk quickly raised a hoof, gesturing for Neil to pause before he continued. "If I knew what you were goin' for, I might know a thing or two to suggest that aren't pants."

That made sense, although Neil was dubious if Private Bulk would understand the why. He took a moment to think before stating his reasons. "Okay. If ponies see this, and this," He gestured to his horn first, then to his wings, "They think alicorn and freak out, right? So, I want something that can cover my wings and crotch at the very least. Maybe a hat, too, if it can cover my dumbass headspike."

Private Bulk gave him a slow nod while obviously thinking. "I can sorta understand keepin' yourself a secret for now. Hmm... I've seen ponies all over Equestria wearin' cloaks to keep rain off. I've also seen mages wearin' robes in Canterlot, too."

Two articles of clothing that sounded like they would fit the bill? That was more than enough for Neil. "Good enough. Can you pick me up one of each today? I'll pay you back the moment I get some money."

"Ain't no store in Canterlot that sells pre-made mage robes. Those are custom fit only." Private Bulk denied nervously. "I can drop by the Royal Tailor for that, then go out and get a cloak?"

"That'll have to do," Neil said as he shifted to stand parallel with Private Bulk. Comparing heights, Neil's back was three-ish inches taller than the pegasus guard. "Just get one that hangs low enough to touch your hooves. Maybe even lower if you can find one."

"Can do Sir. Anythin' else?"

Neil hopped back into his chair before giving his next request. "Yeah. Drop the Sir bullshit. Until I say otherwise, it's just Neil, alright?"

"As you command," He paused as if suffering from indecision for just a moment before he pushed on, "Neil."

"Not bad at all," Neil joked with a smirk. "I need someone willing to say if I'm about to do some stupid bullshit like the pants thing. Just don't tell Celestia if I do it anyway, alright?"

"Neil, I'm tellin' you now it's against the law to falsify or omit information from my reports."

"See? It's already working Bulk. Now, I have to get back to my research, and you need to pick up my disguises. I'll talk to you when you get back?"

"I'll return as soon as I can Neil." He emphasized his promise with a nod, then left.

Without any more excuses, Neil returned to his oh-so-fun research. 'Era of Peace? More like the Era of Fucking Boredom...'


~~~


If he was asked, Neil would have denied it. But in the end, he skipped to the Modern Era after the next one hundred years, covering the Era of Peace. Or the Era of the Alicorns, as History Buff called it. Unfortunately, it went from boring history back into the realm of fantasy.

Plot twist. Nightmare Moon, the evil alicorn previously mentioned a thousand years earlier, hadn't just tragically defeated Princess Luna all those years ago. No, she was Nightmare Moon! At least, the book stated she was corrupted by an evil spirit calling itself Nightmare Moon. Either way, she was somehow restored to sanity by Celestia's newest student, a young but magically gifted mare named Twilight Sparkle. In fact, Twilight featured prominently throughout the book's final chapter, including the return of the Crystal Empire, which he took particular interest in. 

As it was the final chapter, it had to end sooner or later. But the author chose to end with an epic climax, where Twilight's feats finally culminated in her ascension as an alicorn.

Is that what Celestia meant when she blew out his eardrums? She thought he was somehow chosen by some unknown energy of the world to lead? How? Why? He hadn't done anything nearly as impressive as Twilight Sparkle, if Twilight really did any of the things stated in this book.

Not wanting to think about it, he started on his next book. Now that he knew about his guard detail, he dug through the pile until he found a detailed history aptly titled Encyclopedia of the Equestrian Armed Forces, covering Equestria's solar guard and lunar guard.

It started off interesting enough, going into detail about the origins of the guard. This included what relatively little was known about the military might of the three individual nations that later merged into Equestria. They were known as the Kingdom of Unicornia, the Earthen Dominion, and The Roaming Empire.

In fact, after a scant few pages covering both Unicornia and the Earthen Dominion, the book's first fifth focused solely on the Roaming Empire. Most of Equestria's modern military doctrine, armaments, armour, ranks, and basic military structure came from this nation. And remained relatively unchanged, as well.

After that interesting dump of information, the rest of the book devolved into dry facts about every individual squad, company, battalion, and brigade. This included statistics, exploits, and notable leaders during specific periods, most of which he skipped over. The only exception was confirming that General Pilum led the army against King Sombra of the Crystal Empire.

He also learned the history of the castle garrison and the detachments of solar and lunar guards that patrolled the castle grounds. Dating back to Roam, every pegasus had to enlist for an unknown amount of years. This included stallions, despite the gender ratio of the time. Still, these postings were mainly utility-based or the ceremonial last line of defence inside the city. Exceptions existed, like the war hero Flash Magnus, but it was rare at the time.

When Equestria formed, the unicorns and earth ponies saw stallions being conscripted into the military as barbaric. Stallions were meant to be protected at all costs, after all! After much debate, Princess Luna offered a solution that appeased all sides. The castle garrison would be a predominantly stallion post. That way, stallions with military-based cutie marks could serve and fulfill their destinies, and the alicorn sisters could protect the stallions in turn.

Shortly after, Bulk finally returned as Neil was drowning in useless statistics about the battle prowess of the 72nd Unicornian Artillerists. The faint rhythmic clack of metal on the stone first alerted him. But soon enough, Bulk appeared from the shelves, a package wrapped in brown paper sitting lazily on his back.

"Private Bulk reportin' in. Mission was a complete success Si- Neil," He almost slipped as he saluted.

Neil quickly nodded in return, allowing Bulk to lower his hoof. "Good. The sooner I'm not nude, the better."

"Supper is also an hour away, just so you know."

Neil quickly looked at the open military book, which still had one-third to go. "Even better, that gives me an excuse to stop." And with that, he nudged his hoof under the back cover and flipped it closed.

He slipped off his chair and arched his back until he felt a satisfying and audible crack. "Much better." He then looked back to his pile of books, debating if he should check them out. In the end, after all the time and effort Tome put into collecting them, he decided to bring them back to his room.

"Uh, unicorn dude. Mind putting all the books except the military one on the sergeant? After that, can you return the military book on the shelf?" Without a word, his aura erupted around the books. All but one of them was deposited onto the back of the sergeant. The remaining one floated over to the unicorn, who promptly disappeared into the shelves.

Neil was quick to follow, however, and his remaining two guards fell into flanking positions at his sides. Neil was quick to note, just like before, that the books refused to tip over despite the pegasus' slightly swaying pace. This tentatively proved that whatever it was that kept the books from falling, it wasn't telekinesis-based. 

It didn't take long for the three of them to return to the library entrance hall. The unicorn guard was already at the main desk, quietly talking with Tome Keeper, who was writing down something. 

When she looked up, she immediately spotted their little group. "So good to see you again, and with a new friend! I guess you enjoyed your time in my library?"

"It was a learning experience Mrs. Keeper," Neil honestly told her, doing his best not to think about all the useless trivia and facts crowding his head.

"I would hope so," She said with a hint of finality. "Now, this kind guard was filling me in on all of your unread books. Are you going to sign them all out?"

"The sooner I read them, the better," He admitted. "So yeah, I need to sign them all out."

"Good, because I just finished writing them all under your name as you trotted up." She stated with a grin. "You need to learn as much as you can while you're young, y'know."

"I try," He told her truthfully. After all, his best lead at getting home currently revolved around the similarities between the Annex of Roam and the Roman Empire. If he could somehow find a connection between them...

"It's all a pony can do," She agreed. "Now, you have a good evening y'hear? And come back when you need more books! It's been lonely this last year without Ms. Sparkle tearing up the place."

"No worries there Mrs. Keeper, I have a lot to figure out." With their goodbyes said, Neil and his group of guards quickly exited the library. 

With less than an hour to go, Neil felt it prudent to return to his room as fast as possible without risking his new hoard of books. So he settled on a light jog, which all three guards easily managed.

Once Neil returned to his room, he pushed through the swing door with his nose. Not caring at all as a minor uncomfortable twinge ran up his muzzle. Once inside, he folded himself against the door to keep it open, giving the guards enough room to enter. Only the pegasi came inside, however. He craned his neck and saw the unicorn guard had posted himself at the door frame.

Neil would have spoken up to mention how the unicorn's telekinesis might have been helpful for the sergeant. Still, when he looked back at the smaller pegasus, he was already unloading all the books onto the adjustable table. Proving once more that pegasus feathers weren't nearly as fragile as they looked and were far more flexible.

Once all the books were transferred, Sergeant Gust promptly left the room. Leaving only Neil, Bulk, and the package now sitting on his bed.

"You might as well open it Bulk," Neil offered as he walked up to see. "The best I can do for now is bite at it."

Bulk gave a quick nod, "If that's what you want," Then worked two feathers under the paper folds. Moments later, there was a satisfying rip, and Bulk deftly opened the package to reveal a vibrant green material that reminded him of an elven forest. A few more tears into the paper, and Bulk had Neil's cloak free and fully unfolded onto the bed.

The majority of it was a simple, solid green fabric. After running his hoof along it, Neil felt it was both thick and silky without irritating the sensitive skin on the underside of his hoof. The edges were trimmed with durable looking brown leather that looked authentic. But if he were to bet, his money would be on plant-based leather. He couldn't imagine ponies actually killing an animal just for leather.

The only thing that had him silently questioning Bulk was the silver clasp carved into the likeness of an alicorn.

Bulk saw his confusion and shrugged. "They said an alicorn-sized cloak deserved an alicorn clasp."

"So long as it covers my wings, it's fine." Neil bit down on what would be the collar portion of a human cloak and threw it over his back. The left edge caught on his back, folding in on itself. But shaking back and forth loosened it enough to fall down and adequately cover his side. Overall, it looked pretty good on him. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothin'. It came outta Princess Celestia's private funds." Bulk told him as he walked up and gestured with his muzzle at the hunk of metal. "Do you need help with the clasp?"

It was a simple enough contraption. There was a karabiner-like hook under each of the alicorn's wings. A thick loop of excess green material was also on each corner of the cloak's collar. One of the loops was already latched, but with only the ability to bite down and maneuver the clasp, Neil found it quite challenging to line up the remaining loop with the second hook. 

He gave it three more tries before begrudgingly nodding, "Yesh pleasth." It seemed the trick was to keep the clasp still and allow Bulk to use his wing to hook the loop into the clip. With that done, Neil released the clasp, trying to ignore the taste of silver permeating his mouth.

With his cloak now secure, he gave himself one last look over. His body, and most importantly, his wings, were fully covered. In fact, if he didn't know about the wings, Neil would have assumed he was a touch more rotund than the average stallion. An added bonus in Neil's mind if some mares avoided him for it. Next on the list was his availability from the sides. Starting at the collar, the fabric cascaded down at an angle reaching in-between what would have been his elbow and his wrist on his front legs. From there, it settled for a more gentle swoop so only his hooves were revealed on his back legs.

Overall, he only had two minor problems with the garment. The first being its overall length, judging by the leather rubbing at about mid-thigh. In his opinion, the cloak was barely long enough to fold over his rump and cover the important stuff, leaving his tail to do the rest of the work. His second minor gripe was the open front. A mare could bow down just to look at his belly and sheath. But such a mare would have to be very brazen to do so in his full view.

"Any opinions Bulk?"

Bulk didn't say anything at first, instead doing a couple circles around Neil first. "You look like a pretty, overweight ranger that's been put to pasture. So you'll fit right in, here in Canterlot."

Neil disliked that he was now pretty, but so long as he fit in without drawing attention, that mattered far more than anything else. "I guess it's the dinner thing next. Should we leave now and get there early? Or wait?"

"The Princess is the first pony there, so she can greet each pony that enters." Bulk informed him as he made his way over to the table covered in books. "My suggestion? Do some more reading if you want, then we can go."

"I guess some more reading couldn't hurt," Neil agreed with a slight grin as he made his way to the door. "Mind taking the language primer? I can skim over it in the dining room while we wait."

"Neil..." Bulk started, but the tall stallion was already pushing his way out of the door. After an unnoticed sigh, Bulk deftly plucked the book from the stack with his wing and trotted out of the room to catch up.


~~~


When they made it to the dining area, Neil's small troop of guards, Bulk included, positioned themselves in the hallway. The unicorn was kind enough to open the door for him, revealing an empty room without the Princess. But after Neil technically pointed out that Bulk wasn't his guard but his attaché, the pegasus finally gave in and entered the room with him.

Still, there were some apparent differences between today and the day before. To start with, the table that was fully decked out with breakfast food the day before? Only half of the display was finished, leaving the rest of the table empty and incomplete. The second most noticeable thing was the amount of chairs around the main table. Yesterday, it was just two. Today, there were eight separate chairs.

As he thought over the implications, a hint of trepidation soon settled into him. Besides himself and Celestia, who else was she expecting for dinner today? Was she going to force him to show off in front of the elite? Foreign dignitaries? Friends of hers? Were they going to be exclusively mares, all of which would be leering at him?

Before he could complete his train of thought, the kitchen doors swung open in a familiar, eye-catching golden aura. Seconds later Celestia, wearing only a frilly pink chef's apron and crown, stepped out with an extensive array of breakfast dishes in her telekinesis. If she saw Neil and Bulk, she paid them no mind as she set down the various plates on the breakfast table and properly arranged them.

Only after she was done did she look directly at her guests with her trademark motherly smile. She offered Bulk a slight nod. "It's so good to see you again, Private Bulk. I take it from your proximity that Neil accepted your offer to be his guard?"

Bulk dropped his salute with a dull thunk against the carpeted floor. "Yes Your Majesty. Thank you for the opportunity."

"It was my pleasure, honestly. I believe Neil will need as many friends as he can make in the coming days," She told Bulk before her gaze shifted to Neil. "Moreso, if he keeps sending me distraught nurses. Two in as many days? What were you thinking when you sent me that letter Neil?"

"What was I thinking?" He bit back pleasantly as if he was commenting on a lovely day. "I was thinking hell no with whatever you plan to do with me. Giving me a crown? Really? I'm not a citizen of Equestria or qualified!" Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Besides, she thought it was some weird alicorn code when she left my room."

"She told me as much while sobbing uncontrollably in my throne room." Princess Celestia informed him, her disapproval very clear on her features. "But along the way, she remembered your inability to fly and ran straight to me. She felt your sudden urge to kill yourself was somehow her fault."

Even Neil wilted a little as he thought about it. Was her blatant attempts to stare at his junk annoying? Yes. But it was commonly accepted behaviour for mares. However, to inadvertently make her think that? No, it was only supposed to be a threat towards Celestia, if she tried to force him into whatever game she was playing. "You said two nurses?"

"Yes," She answered, removing her frilly apron with her aura. She took a moment to hang it on the corner of the breakfast table before continuing, "During your escape attempt, Nurse Mint delivered your meal only to find your room abandoned. After failing to find you, she came to me after our dinner with her resignation for, and I quote, 'Failing to uphold the standards expected for the Castle Infirmary'. I dissuaded her from that course of action. After consoling her, I also had to dissuade Nurse Heart from resigning this morning."

Neil was inadvertently reminded of his Dad as she spoke. The man would never get angry. Not once in Neil's entire life, which had been strangely infuriating when he was being punished. His Dad preferred the I'm not mad, I'm disappointed route, explaining what he did wrong and then outlining the consequences. Compared to Celestia, his Dad was an amateur.

"I was planning to have this discussion with you tonight, Neil, but it appears the expectations of my staff caught you by surprise, with emotional results. All I ask is that you think about your actions and how they may affect other ponies around you. But," And her voice gained a severe edge, "If you send another distraught mare to me, there will be serious consequences. You may take your seat now and wait for dinner." She then turned to Bulk with her smile returned. "You as well, Private Bulk."

The next twenty-ish minutes passed by in uncomfortable silence. Neil had his book, but he would only manage a page, maybe two at the most, before his mind would wander back to Celestia's words. During that time, Bulk would shift from looking at him like he grew an extra head to looking at him with open worry.

Neil couldn't have guessed what was going through the pegasus' mind.

The only sound to break the silence was Celestia herself. With her scolding complete, she put the apron back on and returned to the kitchen. Every five minutes, she would come out of the kitchen with multiple plates of food orbiting around her. She would then expertly place them on the breakfast table and return to the kitchen.

Her fourth trip deviated from the pattern. First, her apron was replaced, allowing her golden peytral to shine in the light. Second and more noticeable was the six thermos' revolving around her. Once they were correctly set into the display, she cut off her aura and went to the main dining table to claim her seat.

"I have a second topic I wish to discuss with you Neil," Celestia offered after a minute of further silence. "One that is tangentially related to the position you dismissed out of hoof while also affecting both yourself and Bulk."

With a sigh, Neil gave up on his book for the rest of the night. Wedging a hoof between the cover and the table, he flipped it closed. "And what would that be?"

"I was curious if you would prefer Captain Buckler to assign your guard detail, or would you prefer a roster of volunteers like Private Bulk?"

"I think I would prefer no fucking guards," He stated bluntly, not catching the pegasus' ears wilting slightly. "But I don't mind Bulk. Why do I need more?"

Princess Celestia quickly pointed out the major flaw in his thinking as she levitated a pair of menus. "It would be unfair to ask Private Bulk to work around the clock without rest, would it not?"

Neil nodded, acknowledging her point while also digging at the unspoken one. "You want guards on my door in the middle of the night? Why? I already know how stupid your bullshit wards are."

"The wards are one reason, yes," She offered, "On the off chance you need to do something late at night or return to your room after a late night of studying. The guards will be there to escort you around the castle."

Neil had to wonder why she would bring up his studying. Was it because he brought a book to dinner? In fact, now that he thought about it, how did Bulk know he was in the library in the first place? "And the other reasons?"

"Those are... rather complicated," She gently deflected, "And something that should be discussed once you acclimatize to Equestria, I think."

"Or, you can tell me now." Neil pushed, "Otherwise, I'll find out on my own just like your coronation bullshit."

Celestia stared at him for a few seconds, or it could have been a minute. It was hard to tell as the focus of her gaze. "Very well. But first, which would you prefer?"

"If I was forced to choose?" Given Captain Buckler's stellar guard choice, Neil didn't need to think. "Volunteers, I guess."

"Excellent. I'll have an application sheet posted in the barracks immediately," Celestia informed him before shifting topics. "Now, crown or not, as an alicorn you will need to be aware of the world around you. Think of this as your first lesson in Equestrian politics..."

She started by naming the world's various species that lived alongside ponies. Equestria Throughout the Ages briefly covered the rare altercation between ponies and the griffons, dragons, and diamond dogs. That was a shock to the system, not only learning about multiple thinking species co-existing on the same planet but also the fact that most of them were mythical species. 

Celestia expanded that list even further by including Abyssians, Avians, Bovines, Buffalo, Hippogriffs, Minotaurs, Yaks, Zebras, and many more as she finished with the Monstrous Peoples. She briefly summarized each, whether they established their own land or lived inside the borders of another, more dominant people. Bovines and Buffalo, for example, lived alongside ponies in harmony, with only minor disagreements here and there.

She then explained how the surrounding countries reacted when Princess Mi Amore Cadenza ascended. Allies and neutral countries offered stronger alliances to have the new Alicorn Princess as an ambassador. Some went so far as to provide an arranged marriage with their sons, hoping to strengthen ties. Celestia also felt there were other motives, including denying Equestria a second alicorn of unknown power or breeding a new, more magical tribe for their own species.

Either way, Celestia allowed Princess Mi Amore Cadenza to make her own decisions. Ultimately, she chose to become an ambassador. After years of studying, during which time she fell in love with her recently married husband, she travelled abroad to strengthen ties with Equestria's allies.

"... I would give it two months, four at the most before your presence becomes known to the world. After that, the proposals will flood in like before. Perhaps with even greater insistence, as you are the first male of the species. The thought of breeding you with their daughters-" She paused in her lecture, her eyes looking over Neil to something behind him.

But before he could turn around, a noticeable crack emanated from the double doors as they swung far enough back to slam into the stone wall. Another pony trudged their way into the dining hall without a single fuck to give, judging by the half-asleep gaze on her feminine muzzle. But Neil was immediately alert, as this particular mare was another alicorn. She had a navy blue coat, but her tail and mane emulated a similar effect as Celestia's, without the multi-coloured hues. This alicorn had a miniature copy of the night sky attached to her body in two places.

"Good evening, Luna," Celestia called out cheerfully. "We have guests tonight. I would like to introduce Neil and his guard attaché for the evening Private Bulk Order."

The only noise from the mare was a drowsy grunt as she made her way towards the opposite end of the table. Neil was so weirded out by this new alicorn's behaviour that he almost missed the nine separate dishes, mostly pancake stacks, the fake bacon he'd heard about, and all the black thermoses containing coffee haphazardly lifting off the breakfast table.

That unintentionally answered one question from the previous day.

With only ten paces to go between herself and the chair, Neil watched as she removed the cap and emptied an entire thermos of the steaming hot beverage by the time she reached the table. He was both impressed and mildly horrified as he leaned over to Bulk and whispered, "What the hell crawled up her a-"

"Neil, perhaps we should put aside the political lessons for now?" Celestia cut in as if she hadn't heard what he was whispering. "Let's all order for now, and afterwards, I'll answer any questions you might have to the best of my ability."

The process was the exact same as before, if only faster now that Neil didn't need to carefully skim over each section. He was the first to choose his order, followed shortly after by Bulk. Once more Celestia was the last to finish, and the servers came seconds after her menu hit the table. Once their orders were placed, Celestia looked expectantly at him.

'Right, questions. Fuck umm...' His eyes darted around, eventually settling on Bulk before one popped into his head. "As you've recently shown, unicorns and you two have telekinesis to move stuff around. I've also seen pegasi like Bulk fly. Then there's your mind-fuck wards. So what all can ponies do?" He asked, not noticing Luna's ears honing in on him the moment he let loose a swear.

"An excellent question, Neil. And I hope you take my answer to heart as you explore all of its possibilities in the coming months," She offered with such aplomb before adding on, "With caution and a suitable teacher, of course." 

"Now, the simple answer to your question is magic," She began, entering her lecture mode. "The more complex answer follows that each and every pony has a unique gift, which allows them to be who they are. Private Bulk Order, for example, has an excellent talent for logistics and supply management with the Castle Guard. His pegasus birthright also allows him to fly and create weather. However, I must add, not to the point of other pegasi uniquely gifted in those aspects. Private Bulk, would you care to demonstrate with a cloud?"

Bulk hopped out of his chair in an instant. "At once, Your Majesty!"

He was standing at attention for the average pony guard, except his wings were outstretched in front of him and gently flapping up and down. Neil had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but this was a practical demonstration, somehow, so he sat in his chair and watched.

Half a minute passed by. Then, a minute. It was about to cross the two-minute mark before something finally happened. A small ball of what appeared to be grayish-white cotton candy started to form out of nowhere, and it quickly grew. It increasingly expanded in front of Bulk until it was about the size of a single mattress. At that point, Bulk's wings paused, and he let loose an audible sigh as they folded back into place.

For some reason, the air in the room felt dryer, as if he was suddenly moved into a more arid climate.

Then, just to fuck with Neil's entire understanding of physics, Bulk hopped on top of his creation and sat down with the audacity of not falling through. "What in the ever-loving fuck is that thing?"

"A cloud," Celestia told him, though he wasn't looking at her.

"That's no fucking cloud," Neil countered, "Clouds are condensed water vapour. If that was a cloud, he shouldn't be doing whatever the hell he's doing! He should have gone straight through."

"That is exactly what would have happened if Private Bulk was an earth pony or a unicorn. Instead, pegasi have the innate ability to sit, walk, or run on any desired cloud. They can also pass through a cloud if they so choose, but that's a skill one must learn to do."

She must have given a look at Bulk because the moment she finished speaking, he stood up and then started to slowly sink into the thing he made. Until his armoured hooves met the carpeted floor with a muted click. Then, as if it was little more than a thick fog, he walked out. His armour and fur glistened with a small amount of moisture.

"Your turn Neil."

Was she serious? He craned his head around, only to see an encouraging smile that he'd seen on multiple teachers throughout his lifetime. Yep, she was fucking serious. He then turned to Bulk, who didn't say anything. But the guard gave a gentle smile as if to say it was perfectly safe.

Thankfully, it was close enough for him to reach out without getting out of his seat. He had to twist a little, but that was enough as his hoof closed the distance. He was expecting, hoping really for his hoof to simply pass through. Instead, he felt something solid press against the skin on the bottom of his hoof. Though calling it solid was a grave injustice. It was softer than any pillow he'd ever had the pleasure to sleep on. But when he pressed harder, there wasn't much give.

He gave it a few more experimental shoves before another effect became noticeable to everyone except Luna, who was too focused on her meal. The area around Neil's hoof was slowly changing colour. Going from a puffy white cloud to more of a dreary gray. Bulk was the first to comment. "You, uh, might wanna remove your hoof Si- Er, Neil."

Since Bulk created the thing, Neil quickly listened as he removed his hoof. In a matter of seconds, the gray spot seemed to dissipate into the cloud as it returned to its original happy white.

"Interesting, I wasn't expecting that type of reaction during this particular lesson," Celestia admitted out loud. "Neil, are you feeling any strong, negative emotions at the moment? Particularly anger?"

"Mad? No," He admitted honestly as he tried to comprehend what the fuck was going on. "Annoyed as all hell? If that thing really is a cloud, then all the years I've spent learning physics in high school are a fucking waste! Yes I'm annoyed."

Before Celestia could respond, Princess Luna spoke out for the first time that evening. "Enough! Act with proper decorum, as thy station demands of thee, and stay thy foul tongue," She commanded authoritatively as she sat paused eating. "'Lest We fix it for thee."

Neil hadn't expected Ye olde English to come from her. But the small, paranoid part of his mind returned to the forefront as he bristled. This was the kind of arrogant and demanding greeting he had expected after being captured by royalty. He immediately snapped back. "And what the hell are you going to do? Cut my tongue out?"

"We have no need for such barbarity," She promised, pausing for only a moment to add, "This shall serve as a warning to Our satisfaction." Her horn flared blue for only a moment.

Celestia was quick to admonish her sister. "Luna! What spell did you just use?" Her horn also flashed as both sisters devolved into a terse-looking debate. One he couldn't hear, and neither could Bulk, apparently. 

Wanting to understand what was just done to him, Neil decided to start with something simple. "Testing, testing. One, two, three." Bulk heard him if his slight nod was any indication, so he wasn't silenced.

Going over what she had recently said in his mind, it was clear that she was annoyed with a particular selection of words. So, he did the most obvious thing that came to mind. "Shit."

He wouldn't admit it was painful, but the sudden twinge at the back of his head made him noticeably flinch. Judging by Bulk's worried reaction, this wasn't something commonly done. Then again, Neil couldn't picture any pony swearing in front of either princess.

Now that he was expecting it, he experimented some more. "Fucking Bitch," He stated, looking directly at Luna. He managed to force his reaction down to a minor eye twitch, though multiple swears seemed to prolong the experience.

Whatever prevented them from hearing the two sisters also prevented them from hearing what he said. Neil could only imagine what the dark princess would have done otherwise.

The food was delivered by the time Celestia decided to light up her horn again. She looked quite stern, similar to when she raised her voice at Neil. Luna, however, was glowering at her breakfast. "I believe you have something to say, Dear Sister."

It took a long moment, but Luna eventually looked up with a neutral mask befitting her station. "We apologize for Our use of punishment. Had We known of thy denial, We would not have punished you so severely."

"I do not fucking accept your apology," Neil stated, trying to copy her diplomatic tone. Even if her punishment was noticeable every single time he swore. "Not until you remove this shitty ass, whatever the fuck it is punishment from me."

She stared at him. He stared right back at her. He could also feel Celestia's look of admonition after he denied her apology, but that didn't matter at the moment. He wasn't going to back down against those similarly light blue eyes.

Surprisingly, Luna was the first to back down, "You wield your bravado as a mare would, much to thy detriment." As her horn sparked once more.

The lingering after-pain instantly vanished. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Luna didn't respond, having returned to her meal. Celestia, however, was more than willing to talk in her place. "Neil, while Luna was in the wrong to punish you in such a manner, she did apologize and remove the spell. I believe you have something to say as well?"

"Since she removed her mild torture thing right away, apology accepted." That was all he was willing to say as he looked at Celestia.

Was it petty? Yes. Did she push him on it? Surprisingly, she did not.

Dinner passed silently from that point on, ever-shifting between tense and awkward. The only highlight, in Neil's opinion, was once more the food as he tried to avoid messily devouring his lasagne, given his inability to use a simple fork.

Bulk was the first to finish; he was the only pony with a normal-sized meal. Celestia and Luna finished nearly the same time, despite Luna starting before they even ordered. This left Neil the only one eating once again.

However, when he finally finished his last bite, before he could even attempt to lick the excess tomato sauce from his muzzle, Luna stood. "Sister, it is time for Us to lower the Sun and raise the Moon," She reminded her sister. But that wasn't all, as she added a stipulation. "We wish to have Neil join as well."

Celestia gave her sister a quizzical look but didn't comment on her sudden desire for Neil to be there. She slipped gracefully off her chair to join Luna, only waiting at the door for Neil to move.

On the other hand, Neil only had a vague idea of what was happening. Yes, he knew about the propaganda declaring their ability to move celestial objects. And she wanted him there? Why? To cow him into a sense of submission?

He was very tempted to stay right where he was if only to make them late. But then, that must have obviously happened before at some point? Wouldn't they just claim to say they did it inside? Ponies were gullible enough since they believed the lie in the first place. 

So, reluctantly, he hopped off his seat to follow Celestia. Making sure to stay far enough back that her tail properly obscured certain things. Bulk followed right next to him as well, unable to contain the minor hop of excitement in his step.

The journey was admittedly short, traversing a single hallway until they came upon a golden arch built into the wall with reddish-pink curtains strung up on either side to reveal a large balcony with a solid blue stone railing. A small part of Neil grumbled at the fact that he was that close to an exit the day before, but he squashed it.

At least he knew this particular exit was here for later use.

Both Princesses quickly took up their positions, seated on large, plush-looking cushions that were immaculate even though they were sitting outside on a balcony. Neil quickly positioned himself closer to the arch. He watched Celestia as she stared directly at the sun, ignoring the standard convention to protect one's eyes. He wasn't sure what was about to happen besides the sunset. Still, it was better than looking at the alicorn burning their gaze into the back of his skull.

Unfortunately, she was determined to make sure she wasn't ignored. "Before the ceremony begins, We wish to offer words of caution to young Neil. However unwanted it may be, you have unknowingly entered an arena for which you have been ill-equipped. As of this moment, Our dear sister has been treating you with cushioned swords and words of comfort for protection. We have no such desire. Now, you know of the direction Our Moon normally rises from, yes?"

He knew well enough that the moon rose in the east as the sun set to the west, so he pointed to the east.

"Good. Tonight, you shall choose any other direction from which Our Moon shall ascend." She offered, which was a big gamble as Neil thought about it. Obviously, the moon would rise in the same direction it always rose. So why would she do that?

Adding as much bravado as he could, despite not feeling much at all, he gave her a direction. "I'm feeling a bit dramatic after all the Olde Shakespearian English being thrown about. Let's have the moon rise from the ashes of the fallen sun."

He expected her to immediately demand a change, but it never came.

Celestia's horn suddenly sparked to life, releasing an aura powerful enough to light up the entire balcony. At the same time, the sun started to move. Visibly lowering at a speed he'd become accustomed to, though he knew if the same thing happened on Earth, the planet would have been doomed.

The smallest of cracks formed in Neil's resolve. He couldn't tell which event happened first, be it Celestia's horn or the sun's movement. It was almost as if... then again, she had years to perfect the act. Timing it perfectly couldn't be that hard, could it?

Far sooner than he would have liked, sunset passed into the night as Celestia's horn snuffed out. The balcony was blanketed with comforting shadows for just a moment, only to be ousted this time by Luna's rich blue aura. 

Neil ignored her despite being inside of his peripheral vision. It was much more important to keep his eyes focused to the east, knowing that the moon would peak over the horizon any second now and end this farce. Yet, as the seconds passed, the moon didn't reveal itself.

The cracks in his resolve grew as he took a peek in the opposite direction. Yet nothing was there, either. What was going on? He'd watched the rapid ascent of the moon almost every single night since his appearance. It was hard not to when he had plenty to do in the dark alleyways of Canterlot.

Half a minute later, Neil was begrudgingly glancing back and forth, waiting for something to happen. Only for a pulse of blue light to illuminate the balcony even more... 

Then, the moon graced them with its presence from the west, exactly where the sun had set.

Neil was left speechless as Luna's aura faded. Shrouding the balcony in darkness, his eyes darted between Celestia, who was watching the moon, and Bulk, who was watching Neil with a look of confusion. Why? And why was it so dark? Had it always been like that? Or was it getting darker? And why was Bulk walking towards him with a look of worry?...

Neil slumped to the balcony, hyperventilating at first, only to slip unconscious seconds later. Only Bulk's fast reaction prevented Neil's head from hitting the solid stone floor as he dove forward and slipped underneath the larger stallion.
> 4. Rainbow Pride?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 19th: 5th Day Since Capture)

Bulk felt conflicted for the first time in a long time, and the source of it was centred around his current assignment.

He was more than willing to admit that he had no idea what was happening when he volunteered for the position. His sense of right and wrong might have been called simple by the more... incorrigible nobles of Canterlot. Still, accident or not, he'd harmed Neil that cold rainy night. It was Bulk's responsibility to undo the damage and help the poor stallion back onto his hooves the only way he knew how.

Besides, so long as the stallion, a legitimate, honest to Celestia Alicorn male was in the castle, he would have access to every available resource he'd need for a full recovery. Right? And Bulk would be right there, getting those resources to him like a good logistics specialist.

Captain Buckler had seen things very differently the morning after Neil's recovery. She didn't go into details, but the Captain saw The Unknown Alicorn Male as a threat to be contained. Calling him a wildcard and a possible threat that needed to be thoroughly assessed before he was given access to the castle. Why she thought that when all he did was run from the guard, he didn't know. Either way, she denied his request to join Neil's guard detail.

That didn't sit well with Bulk or his sense of right and wrong. Which was why he drummed up the nerve to petition his case before Day Court. Had he gone around the chain of command? Definitely. Was he terrified about speaking his case directly to the Princess? Very much so.

But his Papa always told him to do right, even when it was easier to go with the flow. The same advice led him to leave the farm, despite his Mama's worries, and join the guard in the first place.

When Bulk's turn came up to explain his position to the Princess and his thoughts and feelings on the matter, he expected to be admonished for going around the Captain. He was sure he would be reprimanded. At the very least, he would be ordered by the Princess to report to the Captain so she could assign an adequate punishment for his breach of protocol.

Amazingly, the Princess did nothing of the sort. Instead, the passive smile she used when dealing with the nobles grew radiant as he laid out his case as if she was channelling the sun she was in tune with. When he finished, the Princess praised his desire to help and gave him her full blessing. She would personally reassign Bulk to Neil's guard detail, and he would report to the newest Alicorn at noon that day, on one condition.

Neil had to agree to the assignment as well.

Bulk thought the hard part was over after hearing her stipulation. And in the procedural sense, he had been correct. On the other hoof, it didn't take long for Bulk to learn Neil wasn't a traditional stallion in any sense of the word. 

Neil wasn't charming, homely, or even all that friendly. He was abrasive from the get-go in an aggressive, almost mare-ish manner. The stallion also had the worst mouth Bulk had ever heard on a pony. Even griffons held back from using the harshest cuss words, yet his new charge threw them out like cheap flowers. Only his training to be an immovable guard kept him from wincing every time the Alicorn uttered a new curse.

Bulk could only imagine what his Mama would do if he uttered a single cuss word in front of her. She would likely break out the soap and wash his mouth out every morning for a month.

Still, Bulk persevered. After a little miscommunication about the amount of guards following the Alicorn, he was officially a part of Neil's detail.

His first official assignment from Neil was a very nice change of routine. It was definitely better than standing at attention all day. Bulk had to shop for clothes in Canterlot and find something that fit Neil's unique taste in garments. Obviously, Bulk went to the expensive shops on the upper shelf; anything less would be a disgrace to his new Alicorn charge. He even had the chance to cut back a little, modelling himself in fancier garments he couldn't even dream of owning on his current salary. At the end of his shopping trip, Bulk felt that if things continued as they were, it would be a mixed but positive assignment overall.

And then The Dinner Disaster happened. 

In hindsight, Bulk desperately wished he remained steadfast and waited in the hall with the other guards. Life would have been much more straightforward. Instead, he allowed his charge to invite him in and received one shocking revelation after another behind those closed doors. Not only from Neil, either, but the very rulers of Equestria itself! 

None of the revelations were good.

Before they were seated at the table, Bulk learned that Neil threatened suicide in a note just to avoid his rightful crown as a Prince. It pulled at Bulk's heartstrings while also hinting at some pretty deep issues lurking under the surface. Then, instead of being chastised by Princess Celestia's lecture, Neil was confrontational with her. How anypony could act that way with Princess Celestia boggled his mind.

Until Bulk's training kicked back in. Even with his confrontational bravado, Neil's body betrayed his genuine remorse when the Princess brought up the trauma he put two separate nurses through. The Alicorn's body was almost foal-like in that regard and very easy to read with his ears pinned to his scalp.

The next major revelation came with the Princess' lesson on pegasus magic. Neil clearly knew what a cloud was made of, physically, but he made his confusion and doubt about pegasus magic clear. His outright denial of Bulk's ability to make a proper cloud also hurt a little. Still, Bulk felt his words came from ignorance instead of genuine malice. It was almost as if Neil had never heard of magic before, which felt absurd for a pony.

When Princess Celestia asked him to touch the cloud, Bulk quickly reassured his charge that it was safe. Neil's shock and dismay were clear to see when his hoof made solid contact. However, Bulk still caught the hint of elation that every pegasus held when discovering the softness of a cloud for the first time. It was an excellent first flight into the world of pegasus magic in Bulk's mind since the Alicorn continued to push his hoof against the soft cloud instead of pulling it away in fear.

Unfortunately, the cloud reacted to Neil in an unexpected way after roughly a minute of exposure. Bulk quickly urged his charge to remove his hoof as the cloud slowly darkened into a thunderstorm. An accidental lightning discharge wouldn't do any actual harm to the ponies in the room, but Bulk didn't want to damage any of the expensive furniture.

This brought about a very colourful question-and-answer session between Neil and Princess Celestia, which was the final straw for Princess Luna in her tired state. She did not like Neil's cussing in the slightest and demanded him to stop. 

But as Bulk was quick to learn, Neil preferred to fight fire with fire instead of backing down. This is when the next shocking revelation happened. Princess Luna, Princess of Equestria and an Alicorn ascended by Harmony itself, used corporal punishment against a stallion. Worse, she used corporal punishment against a newly ascended Alicorn stallion. It was unimaginable.

Before Bulk could fully wrap his head around it, Princess Celestia leapt into action on Neil's behalf. Just not in a manner Bulk was expecting of a Princess. She cast a localized silencing ward to prevent Neil and himself from hearing what came next. It was still evident as the Princess of the Day began to bicker with Princess Luna. They were supposed to be Paragons of Harmony, standing side by side to represent everything an Alicorn should be! Not... acting like a pair of squabbling siblings.

And the final cherry on top? Instead of reacting to the spell like an average stallion would, Neil immediately tested the limitations. Bulk could only watch as the Alicorn inflicted pain on himself, and there wasn't a thing he could do to help!

After their brief but prominent display of disharmony between the rulers of Equestria, Princess Celestia dropped her silencing spell. Both rulers were calm and composed, and Princess Luna led with an apology. However, Bulk felt it was lacking given the severity of her spell.

And what did Neil do? He ignored her apology and inflicted even more pain on himself just to make a point!

Bulk felt like Eris must have been pulling at the strings alongside this little drama. He even subtly looked around the room in an attempt to spot the errant Spirit of Chaos. But Luna relented after a brief stare down as if from a snap of the Spirit's fingers. How things deescalated so quickly after the build-up was strangely surreal, leaving Bulk feeling on edge and a little jumpy.

At least the food was delivered by that point. And while the castle staff outdid themselves, the food didn't calm him down. Looking back on the final revelation that day, it was a small blessing.

After everypony finished their food, Princess Luna surprised everypony in the room by inviting Neil to participate in the changing of the sun and moon. It was a great honour to be chosen to participate, and Bulk felt like this was a legitimate apology for her earlier use of magic, unlike her statement.

During the ceremony, however, Bulk reevaluated his thoughts as he watched Neil's reaction. His stormy blue eyes slowly transitioned from confusion at the missing moon to manic terror when it finally rose from his chosen direction. The sight tore at Bulk's heart.

Bulk knew a panic attack when he saw one, as Neil's gaze rapidly jumped between himself, Princess Celestia, and the moon. It happened once or twice with every new group of recruits in basic training. As the Alicorn stallion started hyperventilating, Bulk slowly closed the distance between them. 

Then the stallion's legs gave out, and Bulk instinctively dove to catch him.

Princess Celestia had been watching the moon, but after she heard Neil fall and Bulk's metal armour scraping the stone, she acted. She was obviously worried about both of them, as she used her magic to lift the stallion's limp form off of Bulk. After ensuring he was okay, she left, heading towards the castle infirmary. Bulk followed in formation, along with the four other guards.

All of that had happened three days previously, giving Bulk plenty of time to think things over.

The morning after Princess Luna's powerful display of magic, everything changed. Any rapport Bulk built with Neil in their short time together vanished into thin air. He may have only shared a conversation or two with Neil, but they were conversations all the same. Now, Neil ignored almost every pony that entered his room.

Nurses entered and exited his room at regular intervals, either to offer help with a shower or to ask Neil what he would like to eat. He stonewalled all of them. Nothing changed when they left meals for him or picked up his empty dishes. Even Nurse Rose, the pony that managed to shower him with only minor difficulty, couldn't get through his expressionless reading.

When the first guard was sent with an invitation from Princess Celestia the morning after, Neil ignored the poor stallion. Ultimately, Bulk was forced to decline the breakfast invitation in Neil's stead and dismiss the private. Every single invitation afterwards received the same treatment.

That seemed to earn Bulk a small amount of trust because he was the only exception to Neil's self-imposed silent exile.

It wasn't often, but when Neil finished a book, he asked Bulk to return it. If he felt generous with his words, he would also tell Bulk to bring back other books that usually followed a theme. Every biography written about the Princesses made an odd amount of sense after Luna's horrible treatment of him. But every book the library had that focused on Roam, whether history or myths? Bulk couldn't make heads or tails out of that.

Unfortunately, the only book Bulk couldn't bring Neil had also been one of Neil's first requests. Given the state of Neil's horn and his inability to use magic with it, all spell-books were deemed unavailable until later by word of Princess Celestia. This included all the tomes written about protective mind magics.

That was the only time Bulk had to actively ignore his charge after informing the Alicorn about Celestia's decree. Neil let loose a potent string of venomous curses directed at both Princesses, which Bulk dared not to even think about.

He dreaded the thought that he might suffer another severe cussing as he left this morning's debriefing.

Princess Celestia herself had shown up near the end looking for him specifically. Every single invitation she previously offered to Neil had been an informal affair, as Bulk knew. It was the only reason he felt it was okay to deny the request, as his charge wasn't in any state to accept them. This morning, the Princess had tasked him with delivering a formal invitation to Neil, requesting his presence in Day Court at Princess Celestia's earliest convenience.

Bulk could only imagine why the Princess wanted to see Neil in the throne room, but he couldn't think of any reason that would help the poor Alicorn. 

Celestia's missive flashed through his mind for what must have been the twentieth time over these last few days. 'It was my pleasure, honestly. I believe Neil will need as many friends as he can make in the coming days...' The question was, what could Bulk do? 

Neil had no friends, and he clearly wasn't doing well in the castle. Every day that passed, the Alicorn became even more of a recluse. And who could blame him with Princess Luna's nearby presence stressing him? Bulk felt he was failing them both...

As he continued to trot towards Neil's infirmary room, Bulk narrowed his eyes. There wasn't much he could do, that was true. But he could do something to meet both objectives. He just had to hope it was enough to get Neil out of his room and meet with the Princess...


~~~***~~~


History books, biographies, and every other genre was fair game if they related to the Alicorns in power. Neil tore through book after book, looking for a check against their power. And yet, after two days of searching, the only answers he could find pointed to a single being, Eris the Spirit of Chaos. The only being that made even less sense than the Alicorns, given her ability to warp reality at a whim!

He couldn't think about that now. 

Shaking his head, he forced his eyes to focus on the current book suffering under his baleful stare. At first, he had ignored any books focused on the Princess of Love due to her title. He focused on the two Princesses staying in the same castle as him. But if he really thought about it, Mi Amore Cadenza's power was no less substantial than the others.

Thanks to this recently updated biography, he knew that the Princess of Love had used her powers to enhance her husband's shield to repel a full invasion force of changelings. Even more impressive was her ability to activate another powerful artifact from the Crystal Empire and enhance its properties. Using it, she did something the other two Princesses couldn't accomplish. She dispelled Sombra's shadow form so thoroughly that he ceased to exist by all accounts.

The thought of Cadenza enhancing Luna's or Celestia's already insane abilities terrified him. His only saving grace was that she was currently ruling another country, so the chance of running into her was slim to none.

With one last chapter in this book, he looked forward to the next one. It was a detailed history text focused solely on the first battle for the Crystal Empire one thousand years ago. Hopefully, it gave some insight into how Alicorns fought, even if it was one thousand years out of date.

Two quick knocks at the door broke the silence of his room. 

Neil tensed as his ears automatically swivelled towards the wooden door. The nurses had yet to arrive with his morning breakfast, but they usually didn't knock. Was it another guard with a breakfast invitation? Usually he could count on Bulk to send them away. A quick look at his recently added clock told him it was five minutes before eight. Bulk's shift usually started on the hour.

After a few moments of silence, the door swung open. The sound of metal hooves entering the room told Neil it was a guard that entered the room and was coming up behind him. He could almost imagine the pony closing the distance, only to stop one body length-

The firm tap of metal on stone was a second or two earlier than expected. He also didn't expect Bulk's voice to be greeting him. "Mornin' Neil, I hope I'm not interruptin'?"

He was, obviously. These books were his only source of information on the Princesses, and he only had a limited amount of time before he was forced to confront them again. Still, he nodded toward Bulk before he flipped to the next page.

"In that case I have to apologize again," Bulk said solemnly. "Princess Celestia sent another invitation, one you can't ignore."

Neil continued to skim the following pages as he simply asked, "Why?"

A few moments of silence passed before Bulk officially asked, "Permission to speak freely Neil?"

The fact that Bulk asked his permission when he could already speak his mind made Neil pause. Slowly, he marked his spot on the page before turning to see that Bulk was clearly concerned about something. "You already have it, Bulk."

"I can tell you're goin' stir crazy. I would be too if the mare that hurt me was in the same buildin'." He started as his wing unfurled, revealing a rolled-up piece of parchment with an official-looking wax seal. "But I can't let you ignore this official summons. You'd be doin' somethin' dumber than pettin' a wild rattler if I did." After his warning, Bulk was nice enough to walk up to the table and place the scroll on the surface. 

His technique was messy, but Neil dug through the wax with his hoof. The scroll itself was as Bulk described, very official looking. It was also to the point, summoning him by name to appear before Celestia in Day Court.

After looking it over, he pushed it aside to the smaller pile of books that needed to be returned to the library. "Why exactly do I need to go?"

"Because, unlike the others, this ain't just a request. It'll look bad if you don't show," Bulk paused, trying to find a way to explain what he meant by bad. "As in, guards might be sent to escort you there, bad."

He was right; that did sound like a bad idea. Bulk was also a guard, which prompted Neil to ask, "Including you?"

"Listen Neil," He said, trying to shore up his position, "It isn't much, but Princess Luna won't be there. And, well," He paused, as if trying to find the right words.

After a few seconds of silence, Neil asked, "And?"

"If you go, I'll take you outta the castle after my shift." He conceded, doing his best to sell the offer. "Music, drinks, and no mares... With or without Princess Celestia's approval."

Neil couldn't help but look at Bulk in a slightly new light. Without Celestia's permission was a bridge too far for the castle guard on principle. And drinks? Were they the sugary drinks he'd seen in the market or the proper ones that made a person absolutely shit-faced? "You're actually bribing me?"

"No," Bulk countered immediately with conviction. "I promised to help you. That includes makin' sure you don't go stir crazy in this castle. And the best chance of gettin' you outta here includes talkin' to the Princess like she asked." 

"What kind of drinks are we talking about?" Neil asked after a few seconds, considering if the concession was worth it to face Celestia.

Bulk seemed to be both confused by the question and hopeful that Neil was considering his proposal at the same time. "The kind of drink a guard needs after a hard day's work?"

The beginnings of a plan blossomed in Neil's mind. He would need to know the limitations, but if he could slip away? Great. If he couldn't, for one reason or another? He could get wasted, at the very least. And if ponies were lightweights when it came to drinking? He could get the best of both worlds, buzzed and free all at the same time. "...Fine."

"Whew," Bulk gave a relieved sigh, "You had me worried for a moment there." He then placed a wing on Neil's shoulder and coaxed him out of his seat and towards the bathroom. "C'mon, let's get you washed up for your visit. You're smelling a little ripe after two days."

"Really?" Neil snarked as he reluctantly hopped off the chair. "First you bribe me with beers, then you say I stink?"

What little concern that remained on Bulk's muzzle faded into a small but noticeable smile. "You told me to speak my mind, so I'm speakin' my mind. You smell." He was kind enough to hold the door open for the Alicorn with his other wing.

Once inside the bathroom, Neil fought once more to remove his cloak. He refused to take it off the easy way by undoing the clasp. He would require help to re-clasp it later since he couldn't do it himself with his clumsy hooves. When dealing with his cloak, he preferred to slip his head through the collar, a strategy that generally came with mixed success. Yesterday, he managed to slip his cloak on with relative ease that morning. Slipping into or out of his cloak took multiple minutes every other time, with his horn constantly getting caught.

This time, he managed to get his cloak halfway over his head before it caught against the slight grooves in his horn. After a minute of fighting, Bulk chose to step in and help. With a quick flick of his feathers, the clip came undone, and he deftly swept the cloak off of Neil and onto the sink.

Neil just gave him an annoyed look before heading towards the shower. He half expected Bulk to follow him in, just like the nurses did previously. Instead, the guard collected a few brushes and towels off a shelf with his wings and sat down. He was considerate enough to sit with his back turned as well, giving Neil some much-needed privacy. It was a welcome gesture, even if it clashed with what he knew about ponies so far.

With the prospect of a semi-private shower in front of him, Neil bit down on the knob for hot water and turned. Warm water immediately showered him from his wings to his back end, and the temperature rose quickly. He immediately twisted the cold knob, allowing the temperature to shift too far in the cold direction before he adjusted both taps towards his preference. 

Once that was complete, he did something he couldn't do with the nurses. He plopped down in the centre of the cascade, eyes closed, and just let the heat of the water transfer into him. Whether a minute, five minutes, or even longer, he didn't know. This was his time, and he would wash away all his pains and worries under the relaxing barrage of water droplets...

At least, that was what Neil tried to do. An imaginary clock tick kept nagging him in the back of his mind, reminding him that he was scheduled to speak with Celestia. He stalled for as long as he could before relinquishing his relaxation. He scrubbed every place within reach with only his hooves and warm water. By any stretch of the imagination, he did a lacklustre job at best. But it was the best he could do considering his inability to pick up shampoo. Once he finished washing, he quickly bit down on the hot water knob, closely followed by the cold water one. If he wasn't awake before that, he was now as his back end was doused in freezing cold water.

As he exited the shower, Bulk quickly faced him with an unfolded towel. Was it demeaning to have Bulk dry him off? Yes. But he already suffered through that with the nurses. And with Bulk, he didn't have to worry about leering eyes molesting him or wandering hooves brushing against some inappropriate regions. That didn't stop Neil from drying off his tail and butt, even if he had to sit on a towel to do so.

The one thing Bulk didn't budge on, however, was grooming. "I don't care if you'll be wearin' the cloak. We'll be walkin' by the line and meetin' the Princess. You need to be at your best."

Neil couldn't see the point. Celestia obviously didn't care; otherwise, she wouldn't have invited him to dinner while drenched in sweat that first day. And who gave a fuck about the nobles? Only one reason made any sort of sense. "This is a bullshit military thing, isn't it?"

Bulk narrowed his eyes slightly at the slight against the guard, "If it gets your mane brushed, then yes. Yes it is. Now stand up."

Neil rolled his eyes, ensuring Bulk saw the gesture before following the command. Compared to the nurses who treated him like a delicate vase, gently brushing over the same spot multiple times, Bulk was rough but efficient. He pushed against Neil's sides with enough force to make him readjust his balance constantly.

The only exception to Bulk's not-so-gentle touch was Neil's mane and tail, which the guard left until the end. It was odd to see Bulk giving him an appraising look, but after a few moments, he asked, "Are you sure you want me to only straighten your mane? I could do somethin' nice with it."

The stallion's sudden desire to mess with Neil's hair caught him off guard, allowing his mouth to quip automatically, "Like you've done with yours?"

"You ain't seen me without a helmet as far as I know?" Bulk questioned, looking at Neil weirdly while his one free wing also felt along the edge of his neck plating for a loose strand of mane.

"Exactly my point," Was all Neil needed to say with a slight grin and a shrug.

"Are you questionin' my ability to style a mane?" He asked nicely enough, though Neil felt there might have been an underlying threat hidden in there.

Either way, if there was a chance that poking the sleeping dragon delayed or even made Bulk forget about doing his hair, he was willing to poke it. "What do you think?"

"I'm thinkin' of givin' you the bounciest mane curls you've ever seen," He offered seriously as his wing reached for something on the shelf that looked vaguely like a curling iron. 

"Fine," Neil conceded his joke before Bulk could grab the implement of his desired torture. "I won't question your stylist abilities if you only straighten my hair and tail."

Bulk's wing stopped mere inches away from the device... before shifting a few inches to the right and grabbing the feather rake. He gave Neil one last offer, "Not even a few decorative knots?" But when Neil shook his head in the negative, he relented. "Alright, it's your mane..."

Neil was thankful that Bulk took his time during this aspect of grooming. He had been a little worried that the guard would tear through any tangles with the same amount of force used on his coat. Instead, Bulk worked through them with as much skill as a professional barber.

Once that part of the process was finished, he helped Neil don his cloak again by hooking the clasp to complete his look. "Dependin' on the line, we'll be there for hours. One book or two?"

As they exited the washroom, Neil already had his next book lined up. His eyes locked onto a thick, dull-coloured tome in his unread pile. "Battle for the Crystal Empire should be good enough to pass the time." 

Bulk dutifully picked out the book from the unread pile and the opened scroll while Neil was forced to wait by the door. 

Once the pegasus lined up on his right side with the book on his back, Neil exited his room for the first time in three days. The overall aesthetics of the hallway remained the same, but the length felt normal, unlike the way they were during his escape attempt. Regular length or not, Neil still needed help to find out where the throne room was.

Thankfully, Bulk was an expert guide when traversing the castle and pointed Neil towards the right path. The first ten minutes were spent walking around the section of the castle Neil was accustomed to. They even passed the main library doors before continuing to one of the main exits of that particular wing.

Neil found himself outside for the first time since his capture, though still within the walls on the castle grounds. The sudden burst of cool morning air left him feeling refreshed and strangely vulnerable as he exited. Now that he was outside at least twenty guards were patrolling the grounds, and if they all deigned to look, they could see him just as easily. Inside, he had a thick stone wall to obscure himself from the many armed guards, at the very least.

Despite his misgivings, he followed Bulk's directions down the yellow cobblestone path and towards the main keep, as Bulk called it. Apparently, the central palace structure held the throne room and all the other amenities required by the public. Whether that be one of three ballrooms, multiple banquet halls, a wedding chapel, public guest quarters, and other services offered by the crown, and some of the earliest government functions.

When confronted with a minor fork in the road, Bulk directed him to veer off to the right onto the slimmer cobblestone path. This apparently led to a servant's entrance just outside the castle gardens, or the Princess' prized hedge maze, to be more specific. When asked about the bigger path, Bulk quickly told him it led toward both the central courtyard and the public entrance to the palace.

Once inside, Neil was struck by the difference in opulence. The side wing of the castle he had been living in was barren compared to the striking checker-board tiles, the plush red carpet with detailed stitching that his hooves sunk half an inch into, the tapestries that covered almost every square inch of wall, and the excessive amount of golden accents. To put it bluntly, it felt over the top and gaudy, precisely what he would have expected from a long-lasting monarchy.

But he couldn't stand and gape at the decorations for long as Bulk pointed him west towards the main entrance hall. Another stark difference was the number of guards stationed every thirty feet as if they were statues for the public to gawk at. Not that there was much of a public presence this early in the morning. Neil could only imagine how much of a headache this place could be if only he showed up a few hours later.

Soon enough, he exited from a side passage into the main entry hall with a grand, golden staircase and stained glass windows. At that point, he also ran into his first non-guard and non-staff pony inside the castle. Thankfully, the purple on light-purple pony, who was also wearing a very Canadian red and white dress, was walking away from him. Unfortunately, according to Bulk, that was the same direction he was supposed to go.

So he followed the mare reluctantly. It was a little slow going at her sedate pace, but it allowed Neil more time to look at the stained glass windows as they passed. He even recognized a few of the ponies and the events depicted due to the history books he read. Celestia and her sister were prominent in the first windows. But afterwards, Twilight and her group of ponies dominated the glass panes.

After the hallway of stained glass history, Neil and Bulk entered another large chamber. It wasn't as cavernous or grand as the main entry hall, but its aqua-blue stone walls were shrouded in tapestries, and each stone pillar was flanked by a pair of guards. Another two unicorn stallions stood by the immense, sky-blue arched doors that presumably led towards the throne room.

Most of the room was taken up by golden poles with red rope woven between them to create an overlapping barrier. Judging by the winding back-and-forth path and the seven ponies already lined up near the large doors, the petitioner line could grow to extreme lengths on a busy day. The purple mare they followed quickly entered the rope maze without hesitation, and Neil followed her at his sedated pace. 

Bulk placed a wing on Neil's shoulder, stopping him before he entered the queue. "The Princess wants you to wait in a private chamber as she works through the line." Neil just gave a shrug and allowed Bulk to lead him to this mysterious chamber. 

The pegasus immediately skirted to the right side of the room, completely ignoring the rope barrier. Whether he liked it or not, this deviation from the norm drew the curiosity of the petitioners already waiting in line. Neil did his best to ignore the eyes on him as they passed one pillar after another.

Hidden behind the last pillar was a small wooden door painted to match the room. Instead of going through it immediately, Bulk extended his wing to the unicorn guard closest to the door. Held within his feathers was Neil's invitation, which the unicorn guard quickly nabbed with an attention-gathering lime green aura.

The unicorn guard looked the scroll over, and after verifying its authenticity, he slipped the scroll inside his breastplate. His horn flickered for only a moment, before the door was covered in the same telekinetic aura, and opened, inviting Neil and Bulk inside. 

From what little Neil could see, it was a cozy-looking sitting area decorated in rich reds and purples. There must have been a torch or a fireplace inside because the warm light inside the room flickered noticeably. Either way, Bulk walked into the room, and after a quick glance back, Neil followed. Once he passed the threshold, the door closed behind him and the aura vanished, cutting off the stares from the petitioners much to his relief.

Once he was inside, the light source turned out to be a large stone hearth, with a relatively small-looking fireplace carved into the deep purple marble. Despite that, the merry little fire burned brightly. Throwing out more light than Neil would have thought possible onto the large, rich red sofa sitting in the centre of the room and its two matching love seats that flanked each side, let alone the rest of the room. Bulk was already standing at attention beside one of the love seats.

The Alicorn was quick to claim that particular seat, and without a word, Bulk offered Battle for the Crystal Empire with his wing. Neil managed to pincer the book clumsily with both hooves without pinching Bulk's feathers and half-placed, half-dropped it onto the armrest. It worked in the end, and that's all that mattered as he flipped the cover open with his snout. "There's plenty of seats available, you know that right?" 

Instead of taking up Neil's offer, Bulk simply acknowledged his question with a "Yep" As he made his way to the other door in the room and took up his post. "I can't sit while on guard duty."

"I'm pretty sure standing for twelve-hour shifts is some sort of workplace violation," Neil quipped. Either that or pony endurance in this scenario was insane. Instead of answering, Bulk gave him a subtle shrug, then froze at attention like all the other guards they had just passed.

Knowing he wouldn't get anything else out of Bulk without it being a direct request, Neil settled down with his book. This was going to be a long wait, apparently...


~~~


Another day, and yet another book that over-promised and under-delivered. He had been hoping to read about the battle for the Crystal Empire itself. A play-by-play of the tactics, weapons, and abilities used by the Princesses of the time, at the very least.

Instead, it appeared the author scrounged up every single after-battle report, from foot soldier to officer, and transcribed them all alphabetically by name. There wasn't any chronological timeline or discussion of tactics. Only 'Infantry Soldier X was ordered to march into battle, and defeated Y mind controlled conscripts before they all vanished in a bright light', or something similar to that effect. And the worst of it all? Every report was written in Ye Olde English, which made Celestia's sister sound modern, forcing him to translate as best he could from Shakespearean to modern English.

It felt like every single second he spent on the book dragged on for a full minute, so Neil wasn't surprised that he lost track of time. Still, he managed to get a fifth of the way through before his ears picked up a door opening. His two furry radar ears perked up in curiosity before they focused on the source of the sound. Unfortunately, it was the door leading back to the queue area, not the throne room.

That wasn't the only sound they picked up, as he quickly noted an annoyed, almost raspy-sounding mare near the door. "...know I'm awesome, but if this is another noble trying to get a Wonderbolt to teach their foal how to fly, I'm gonna buck them off a cloud."

Just as she finished her little promise to thin out the Canterlot nobility, she walked into the room. She had just enough time to ruffle her wings agitatedly, then move them back into a resting position before the door closed.

After his brief glance, Neil couldn't decide what her most striking feature was. Whether it was the windswept rainbow hair and matching tail, the blue skin-tight body suit with yellow lightning bolts that showed off her lithe yet muscular body, or her focused off-red eyes that were staring right back at him. There was just something about her that struck him as familiar.

Once the mare figured out she wouldn't be waiting alone in the room, she immediately posed with her wings flared as if she were mid-dive like a falcon. "You want an autograph or something?" She asked, finishing the pose with a roguish grin.

Was that it? Had he seen her photo in a scrap newspaper or a magazine? Neil gave her a disinterested shrug, then turned back to the report in his book. Thankfully, whoever this Iron Shoe was, she kept her report short and to the point. He heard, more than saw the new pegasus hop onto the larger couch nearby.

"So, what are you doing here?" She asked out of the blue, pulling him away from his dry history book again.

"The Princess wanted to see me, and I was told it was a bad idea to no-show." He stated bluntly, debating only momentarily whether he should return to his book. Given how tedious the wait was before this mare showed up, he noted page 88 and flipped the book closed. "How about you?"

"I was in the middle of formation drills when Captain Spitfire pulled me out of practice," The mare told him, sounding quite smug about her profession or the position she held within the Wonderbolts. Or both. "She received a message from the Princess and chose me to fly over, so here I am."

"Ah," With the mention of Captain Spitfire, it was clear enough these Wonderbolts were part of the military. 'Just my god damn luck to skip over her unit in that book,' Was what he thought as he asked, "You get called in often?"

"Every now and then," She boasted, puffing up a little. "Normally, me and the girls go right in and talk to the Princess. I wonder if they're still on the train?"

Her and the girls? As in, more mares coming to barge into the waiting room? And Celestia called them often... Stained glass flashed in his mind of a scene he'd glanced over just that morning. A scene with six mares cleansing an ancient Alicorn enemy, one of them with wild rainbow hair, "Oh, the Elements." Neil felt his hackles raise unconsciously at the thought of six super-weapon wielding mares in the same city as him. "So, what world-ending catastrophe do you have to deal with today?"

"Don't know," She said with a shrug. "But whatever it is, me'n the girls will kick its flank back to whatever cave it crawled out of." Given her track record in the most up-to-date history texts, he could somewhat believe it if they were accurate.

Neil turned to his only other source of information, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about this Bulk?"

"No idea," Was all he said without moving from his position.

That didn't stop the mare from appearing in front of Bulk within a blink of an eye, looking somewhat impressed. "Whoa! You can get the guards to talk? I've been trying to get them to do anything but stare for years."

"He's part of my guard detail," He told her, spooked at her sudden shift. He only saw a blur when she moved. "Goes where I go, answers questions, that kind of stuff. Maybe ask the Princess for a few?"

"I can't. You have to be somepony important staying in the castle to get a guard detail," She told him absentmindedly before sticking her tongue out at Bulk. When he didn't react, she flapped her wings and lazily returned to the couch. "Speaking of, who are you? I haven't seen you before."

"No one important," He said, perhaps a touch too quickly if her perked ears were anything to go by. "Just a stranger in an even stranger country."

"Strange?" She asked, looking at him as if he was the strange one. "What's strange about Equestria? It's awesome!"

"You need to stop a world-destroying threat every few months," He pointed out bluntly. "Does that really sound awesome?"

"Buck yeah!" She cheered, clearly boasting once more. "'Cause me and the girls always win in the end."

Neil was quick to point out that falsehood. "From what I've read, Princess Cadenza defeated the changeling invasion after you were captured."

Her only counter was to stick her tongue out at him. "Bah, we just needed some time to get free. Then we would have kicked the bug's flank."

Neil didn't believe her claim, but he also couldn't refute it with the information he had available. So, he kept silent on the matter.

Rainbow must have taken his silence as a win because she stretched lavishly on the couch before circling back to a previous topic. "You still haven't told me your name."

She was right, he hadn't. "You haven't told me yours, either."

The mare just shrugged before puffing out her chest as much as her skin-tight suit would allow. "Rainbow Dash, fastest pegasus in Equestria and Wonderbolts reservist." She said with as much pride as she could summon.

She was also looking at him with a keen eye. After a few moments, he gave her the same information he gave Celestia. "My name is Neil. Pronounced like knee-ill, not kneel."

"Okaaay," She dragged out, sounding somewhat unimpressed. Was she looking for a title or a job description? "So Neil, what do you do around the castle?"

"I read," He told her honestly, given that was his sole focus over the past two days.

That was the wrong thing to say as Rainbow groaned, "Not another Egghead."

Neil was just about to correct her assumption by pointing out he was more than a simple egghead, when the door Bulk was posted at slowly opened with the faintest creak. A guard stallion without wings or a horn stood there, his hoof pulling the door open. "Princess Celestia will see you both now."

Just the two of them? Or would the other Elements be waiting in the throne room? And if they were, why was he brought in with the group? It didn't make sense to Neil why he'd suddenly be thrown into the mix with them of all ponies.

Rainbow was the first to speak out between them as she hopped off the couch. "Are the rest of the girls already waiting in the throne room?"

"No," The guard told them bluntly. "This is a matter between the two of you and the Princess."

The answer given felt both ominous and confusing. Why would Celestia request a meeting between the three of them? He wasn't connected to this mare as far as he could tell. He couldn't remember stealing anything that wasn't Skyport crates or garbage, so it couldn't be that. Right?

After she passed by his seat, he hopped down and followed Rainbow into the throne room. He also noted, thankfully, that Bulk fell in line before the door closed so he wouldn't be entirely alone.

Looking around the throne room, it felt diametrically opposed to the rest of the castle, at least with its theme. Whereas the main halls were whites, purples, golds, and reds, the throne room was graced with shades of blue and grey and accented with much darker reddish purples. Specks of golden yellow also dotted the ceiling but as interpretive stars instead of gold inlay. If not for the golden throne with a sun, upon which Celestia sat expectantly, as well as the stained glass sun mural behind her, Neil would have thought this room would have been Luna's private throne room.

As they approached the multi-tiered dais, Neil fixated on the built-in water fountains. He could see the water overflowing from one tier to the next, but he couldn't hear it for some reason. It was unsettling, but soon enough, the earth pony guard leading them veered away and took up a standing position in front of the lowest fountain basin on the right.

Both Rainbow and Bulk were quick to bow before their Princess. Neil didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't want to bow to the monarch of a foreign country, but this was an official meeting. Also, given Equestria's position on Alicorns being royalty by default, was he required to bow? After glancing quickly between his companions and Celestia, who watched all three of them, he shrugged and gave her a slight nod.

Apparently, that was enough as Celestia nodded in return. That was all it took for the other two ponies to stand up again, though he caught Rainbow sneaking a look back at him with confusion.

"Good afternoon, my little ponies. I'm glad you both could make the trip in such a timely fashion." She officially addressed them as she stood up from her throne and slowly traversed down the steps. "Rainbow, I see you've kept to your training regimen with the Wonderbolts. I apologize for removing you from your practice drills, but I feel you are uniquely suited for this assignment."

Given Rainbow's wide eyes, giant grin, and vibrating wings, she was excited because she was singled out for this assignment, whatever it was.

And then, Celestia turned to him. "It's also good to see you out of your room, Neil, though I regret it had to be under the premise of a summons. Due to your current injury, I felt it was only right to start training your passive magics first. So, without further delay, here's the reason I've brought you two before me. Neil, you'll be learning the basics of flight with Rainbow Dash as your instructor."

Neil had been expecting quite a few scenarios. The two main options were a reprimand about locking himself in his room to avoid her or a lecture about how he somehow wronged Rainbow before his capture. Sudden flight lessons never crossed his mind, leaving him flabbergasted.

However, Rainbow gave him a quizzical look after Celestia revealed her assignment. "Uh, Princess... He kind of needs wings to fly. So, unless you plan to use a spell to give him wings..." Rainbow pointed out before something clicked in her head, and her pupils dilated as she looked between him and Celestia. "Or is he...?" 

Neil could hear the unspoken question as clear as day and quickly blurted out, "No." At the same time, Celestia answered her question with an encouraging "Yes."

It didn't matter though. Celestia's answer seemed to hold far more weight than his own as the excited mare immediately zoomed in front of him. Her muzzle almost touched his own as she exclaimed, "You're an Alicorn and you didn't tell me? That's so awesome! Is that why you're wearing a cloak?"

Neil quickly stepped back from her sudden appearance, accidentally bumping into Bulk as he did so. "No. I wear it because I like cloaks," He told her somewhat sarcastically, now that Celestia told another pony about him.

"And speaking of your cloak Neil," Celestia chimed in, her horn starting to glow. "It needs to be removed; otherwise, it will hamper your flight lessons."

A quick flash of light sparked from her horn before Neil could even get a word out in protest. The warmth of his cloak vanished from his back, leaving only the cooler air of the throne room to caress his now exposed wings. After frantically glancing around the excited pegasus before him, Neil spotted his cloak hanging off of the decorative golden waves set behind Celestia's throne.

Celestia chose that moment to sit in the centre of the carpet, conveniently blocking the stairway up to her throne and his cloak. "I will ensure your cloak is cleaned and waiting for you in your room by the time your lessons are done."

Doing his best to ignore Rainbow's not-so-subtle 'Oh my goshs' with her eyes glued onto his wings, Neil narrowed his eyes at Celestia. "Or you could give me back my cloak, Rainbow goes back to her practice, and we all forget about this."

"Neil, as much as you might doubt me, you need to learn how to control your own body. While I would prefer to start with your magic, we might as well start with your wings due to your injury." Celestia informed him with a stern, motherly tone. "Rainbow Dash previously taught my former student Twilight Sparkle when she ascended. She's more than qualified to teach you as well."

Apparently teach was the trigger needed to release the excitement inside the pegasus mare, as one firm flap of her wings sent her feet into the air. "I get to teach another Alicorn how to fly? Buck yeah, I'm awesome!"

This drew the Princess's and Neil's attention onto her. It may have been a pony swear, but the fact that she was willing to swear in front of Celestia raised his opinion of her just a bit. A small part of him also noted how slowly her wings flapped to maintain her hover. 

It took a few moments for Rainbow to catch onto what she said before the blue of her uncovered muzzle turned a bright red. She was clearly embarrassed by her outburst and promptly landed on the carpet again.

Celestia seemed to be more amused by her outburst than anything else. "And it would be best to start this lesson sooner rather than later. I can only hold Day Court up for so long."

Seeing how the winds were going, Neil took a deep breath and simply told Celestia, "No."

Celestia had stood up from her sitting position and was just starting to return to her throne when he gave his answer, which caused her to stop mid-way up the stairs. She took just enough time to look into his eyes with a look of disappointment and say, "If that is your choice, I cannot force you to learn how to fly with Rainbow Dash," Before she returned to her throne. "You are more than welcome to leave this chamber whenever you wish, but I must resume my duties sooner rather than later."

"And my cloak?" He asked, pointing his muzzle in its direction. He did his best to ignore Rainbow's look of shock as if he denied her a Wonderbolt's promotion.

"I promised it would be cleaned and waiting for you on your bed." Another quick flash of her horn, and his cloak was no longer hanging from the back of her chair. In fact, it wasn't in the room at all, as far as Neil could tell as he looked around. "It's currently waiting for you in your bedroom."

"Or You can bring my cloak back right now," He outright demanded, "Otherwise, how the hell am I going to leave this room without your asshole nobles seeing me?"

"You could go through the main entrance or the side room, respectively," She informed him. Both options would have him walking in full view of the ponies waiting in line, making them useless from the get-go. "Or you could go through either set of curtains behind me. Those lead to the balconies overlooking the garrison training grounds."

Which meant he would need to learn how to fly just to get off the fucking balcony. Or jump and maim himself, at the very least. His eyes narrowed. "Fine," He growled, not in the mood to have another drawn-out fight as he stomped around the fountains and towards the curtains. "And a happy fuck you to you too!"

With his back turned to the throne, Neil didn't notice the small muzzle gesture Celestia gave to both Bulk and Rainbow, telling them to follow before she dismissed them with a nod. Thanks to his training, Bulk gave her a crisp salute and trotted towards his charge now that he was dismissed. Rainbow stayed for a few more seconds, looking towards Neil, then Celestia, before she made up her mind and took off after the male Alicorn with a flap of her wings.

Princess Celestia sat on her throne, looking as regal as she always did while watching over the retreating forms of her little ponies. Once all three of them were through the curtains, she gave a nearly imperceptible sigh and whispered to herself, "Perhaps in a decade or two, if you've forgiven me by then."


~~~


After passing through the throne room curtains, a warm autumn breeze caressed Neil, confirming the hours wasted inside the little side room. But he paid little mind to that as he immediately went to the railing. By his guesstimate, this particular balcony was an easy three stories high, perhaps even four from the grounds, so jumping without injury wasn't an option. On top of that, there had to be fifty ponies at least doing various training activities down there. Even if he managed to land with only a minor injury, he would be mobbed almost instantly by worried ponies and likely shipped back to the infirmary.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he missed the loud flap of wings and the ripple of the heavy waterproof curtains. It was much harder to ignore the pair of hooves that suddenly pushed him against the railing, keeping him pinned. "Who the hay do you think you are, talking to the Princess like that!?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about the pony that had his cloak stolen by a petulant Princess?" He snarled back, quickly repositioning his hooves to find better leverage. Even then, he couldn't find enough force to push back against the mare even though she was hovering in the air.

Thankfully, he was quickly reminded that he wasn't alone. Before Rainbow could respond, a third body forced its way between them. Breaking her hold against Neil but also keeping him pinned against the railing by proximity. "Both'a you calm down now!"

If that wasn't enough, a fourth booming voice was added to the chaos. "Day Court shall now recommence! Bring in the next petitioner."

Seconds ticked by as Neil watched the irate mare flap her wings. She didn't say anything but didn't move to do anything else either. After some time passed for them to cool off, Bulk was satisfied enough to remove himself from Neil. Giving him some much-needed breathing room to stand up.

"Now, both of you have to work together," He told them both, looking at Neil first, then at Rainbow. "So I want both of you to apologize to the other."

"Apologize?" Neil blurted out, slightly confused. "I haven't even done anything to her."

"Neil. I don't fully understand you feuding with both Princesses," Bulk explained calmly, "But spoutin' off about it in front of others ain't right."

Neil was quick to snap back. "What's not to understand? I've been captured and forced to stay in the castle! You were there that night, if you remember," He added as a more personal snipe.

"I do." He agreed, visibly deflating a little. "I also remember a stallion in excruciatin' pain that needed medical help that night. I had to hold your flailin' limbs to stop you from hurtin' yourself even more. And I'm still here doin' my best to help you," He stated in a heartfelt manner, "But sometimes you make it really hard Neil."

... First Celestia outdoing his Dad with the disappointment gig, and now Bulk. Something about these ponies made him feel like an absolute capital-A Asshole. He took half a minute to calm down before telling them both, "I'm sorry about fighting in front of both of you."

"Apology accepted," Bulk told him right away, before turning to the mare. "Right?"

"Yeah," Rainbow offered as she slowly descended onto the balcony. "And I'm sorry for marehandling you. It's just nopony speaks to the Princess like that, so..."

"Yeah. Stranger in a strange land, remember?" Neil reminded her as he extended a single limb towards her as a peace offering.

She quickly crossed the space between them and accepted, her hoof clacking against his own before she shifted back to the main reason they were there. "So what do you know about flying?"

"If you mean flying with these things?" Neil asked, moving his hoof back to poke at his useless wings, "Absolutely nothing."

That answer confused the mare as she looked at his wings, then at him. "Nothing? Don't they teach you the basics about pegasi where you come from?"

"Besides myths and legends? Nope." He answered with a shrug. "We don't have pegasi or unicorns where I'm from."

"No pegasi? Then how do you-" She stopped herself before adopting a slightly more stern look, almost like a discount drill sergeant. "That can be later. I guess I'm starting with the basics, so do you mind extending your wing?"

That was going to be a problem. "Uh.. how?"

"By... extending your wing?" She answered as if the answer was obvious.

"Yeahhh. I haven't been able to move the stupid things since I woke up with them." He told her honestly.

This earned him a small moan of despair as the mare's hoof met her forehead. "Even Twi wasn't this bad. Okay, before I start, I need to know if I can touch your flight muscles."

"If you need to, I guess?" He asked, unsure as to why she even had to. "Why are you asking?"

"Because it would be inappropriate otherwise," Bulk said from the sidelines. "My Ma and Pa are both earth ponies, so I had to have my Schoolmarm teach me. It can get, uh, pretty intense." He admitted, looking over the balcony railing.

It was hard, but Neil still caught the blossoming red on Bulk's muzzle despite the helmet and the angle he was looking. Rainbow also had a hint of red along the uncovered portions of her muzzle for some reason, though he couldn't understand why. As far as he could tell, this was just a massage.

"Yeah, what he said. Just, uh, if you want me to stop, I'll stop," Rainbow promised before hopping a few feet into the air. "You might want to get on the ground while I do this."

Shrugging, Neil followed her instructions. Once on the ground with all four legs folded underneath him, he looked at Rainbow. "Okay. Ready when you are?"

"Okay. I know about all of this," She boasted as she flew over to him and positioned herself behind his wing joint. "I'm a wonderbolt for a reason. But I can't really remember the long names, so just focus on my hoof."

"Now, this is the something-dorsi muscle," She told him as her hoof pressed down against his back, a few inches away from the joint. Neil immediately tensed at the sudden, weird sensation that spontaneously erupted from her touch. "It's the muscle that keeps your wings held against your sides. You need to relax it so your wings can move." And as she said that, her hoof started to move in a circular motion, coaxing out a different, almost... pleasurable sensation.

After roughly half a minute, he was drawn out of the daze she put him in when a mild pain shot up from his... elbow? He swung his neck around to look, but his leg was perfectly fine. Instead, his partially unfolded wing was flopped onto the ground.

Rainbow removed her hoof from his back. "Your wing is released. Now tense the muscle to pull your wing back into a resting position."

This took far longer, a few minutes at least, as he tensed and strained various back muscles. It was odd, trying to flex something he never knew existed a minute ago. And more than once, he simply tensed a muscle he was used to, like his shoulder. Almost by mistake, he stumbled upon the newly discovered dorsi muscle. With a faint swish of feathers against stone, which felt uncomfortably coarse, his wing was by his side again.

"Awesome," She congratulated him as she moved her position to his shoulder. "Now release it on your own this time."

It took less than a minute this time, and Rainbow was there to gracefully catch his wing with her own. In fact, the feeling of feathers against his own reminded him of the feather comb, but more... Something. Enough to send a slight tremble down his wing, at least. She then took a few steps away from him while keeping hold of his wing. Extending the appendage to its full length.

She even gave his wing an appreciative look, though Neil could only guess why. Perhaps they were a good size for flying? Or did ponies find wings attractive?

"Next, I'm going to focus on the muscles to keep your wing extended and off the ground." And that's how the next half an hour was spent. 

She switched from her hoof to her own feathers for the muscles in his wings. Apparently, the nerves in the wing had to be sensitive enough to feel the wind currents flowing over and adjust to any changes without conscious thought. He was skeptical, at first, until she brushed what she called a flexor muscle. His whole body was left shivering from a single stroke.

Bulk had been right. That was intense.

After that, she started from the tip of his wing and moved inwards. As the lesson went on, it became harder and harder to concentrate as she told him to tense and relax this muscle and then the next muscle. Despite that, he managed to catch another flexor and some muscles he recognized, like the triceps and biceps (though wing variants).

She moved back to his body once he could hold his wing out on his own without touching the ground. She placed a hoof against his side, underneath his wing. "This is your flight pectoral, the muscle that pulls your wing down to generate lift. Don't tense unless you want to slap your wing against the balcony."

After all the other sensations she gave him from a simple feather, that was the last thing he wanted to experience, "Got it," He told her, trying not to picture the pain from his horn enveloping both of his wings. However, it did raise a related question. "Uh, while we're on the topic, how painful would it be to break a wing?"

"It's not that painful," She told him with a shrug. "I've broken my wings a few times over the years."

That didn't make any sense to him after what he just experienced. "How does that work, given how sensitive they are?"

"Instinctual flight magic," Rainbow told him as if it were obvious. "Don't get me wrong, it still hurts like hay. Just nowhere near as bad as a cracked horn," She added, her eyes flicking toward his plastered horn.

"Now, there's one last muscle you have to know about. This is the supra-something, and it pulls your wings up." Just her touch against his wing joint sent a jolt up his back, forcing his wing to twitch upwards by a foot at least.

"Okay, you need to stand up now!" She ordered while also prodding him in the shoulder. "Once we get those wings flapping in sync, you'll be hovering in no time." To prove her point, she gave both of her wings a single, light flap that sent her up about twice his full height into the air. She lazily flapped her wings after that, keeping her position stable without any vertical change.

As he retracted his one wing, a stray but intense thought came to him. How bittersweet was it that out of the billions of people who dreamed of flying under their own power, he would be the one doing it? He always dreamed of flying for as long as he could remember. How could he not when his Dad was a S.T.A.R.S. helicopter pilot? And here he was, about to live the dream. 

A dream he would have to give up if he ever wanted to go home.

He tried to force the thought out of his head as he positioned his front legs underneath himself to sit up. He succeeded in a roundabout manner as he started to stand up. He gained six or seven inches off the ground, with his back just starting to curve upwards like a cat before a new sensation caused him to stop. It was both familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time, as he felt skin rubbing against weathered marble and skin being brushed by his soft belly fur at the same time. 

Confused, he glanced underneath himself to see the mottled black and grey head of an alien equine cock nestled into the fur of his belly. Multiple words flowed through his mind in an attempt to describe it. The primary descriptors were strange, wrong, national geographic, and hung like a horse. Yet he knew it was just as much a part of him as the rest of his mutant equine body. He also knew he was outside, nude, and staring at his own barely hidden hard-on.

He immediately flattened himself onto the ground, doing his best to ignore the sudden pressure and the burning warmth on his face.

Rainbow also picked up on his sudden change in direction as she called out from above him. "Hey Neil? I said stand up, not lay down."

Given his current predicament, he chose not to look up on the off chance she shifted into a more revealing position. "I heard you. I just have to... rest for a bit first."

"Really?" She asked, obviously unconvinced. "We don't have time for that. The faster you get hovering, the faster you get to flying. So up!"

"And I said no, so back off for a minute." He countered, still staring at the marble in front of him.

Bulk jumped in at this point with a comment directed toward Neil. "There's no need to be snippy with Rainbow over that Neil."

'Snippy with Rainbow over...' And then it occurred to him. With Bulk standing off to the side and facing the way he was, he had a clear view of everything between Neil's front legs. What little of his face that wasn't set on fire burned a bright red. Even his ears radiated heat as he processed the fact that he accidentally flashed Bulk.

"Over what? Is this some sort of stallion thi... Oh," Rainbow caught on from the sounds of it as she landed lightly beside him a few paces away. "Uh, I know I don't come off as the most gentlemarely, but I can, uh, help you with that. If you want, that is."

"Really? That's what passes for gentlemarely in Equestria?" He snarked as he covered his muzzle with his front legs. Of course mares offering to give free blowjobs was considered polite here. "Just... Give me a bit to settle things."

Rainbow awkwardly shuffled over to Bulk, giving him plenty of space to lay there and wait out his problem. That helped, probably, but Neil still caught whispers coming from their general direction. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but the fact that the mare kept giving him not-so-subtle glances his way told him he was the main subject of discussion.

That didn't help his embarrassment of the situation at all. But after a couple of minutes, he felt the unusual sensation of his cock slipping into his sheath. He took an extra minute to allow his blush to die off, but it never did. So, still red in the face, he slowly stood up again. He also took a second to double-check and ensure things were put away while feeling Bulk's and Rainbow's eyes watching him before fully standing.

"So what's the deal about flapping?" He asked, doing his best to divert the subject.

In a blink of an eye, any lingering awkwardness on Rainbow's face vanished as she did her best Flash impression and reappeared in front of him. "First you need to extend your wings."

He did so slowly. It was odd, not only feeling the weight of both appendages as they extended out from his body but also how they both felt balanced against one another. He imagined a tightrope walker with a pole likely felt a similar sensation.

With his newest objective complete, Rainbow spun around so that her tail was facing him and extended her own wings. 

"Next, I want you to look at my wings and copy what they do. Alright?" At which point, she mimed a wing flap's entire up-and-down cycle in a prolonged, easy-to-follow manner.

For the first cycle, Neil never took his eyes off her wings. He picked out every obvious pull and release of her muscles under the skin as they lowered and raised. By the third cycle, he did his best to imitate. It wasn't even a close comparison. Where her movements were fluid, perhaps even caressing the air, his were janky and stilted. 

Which led to the next ten to fifteen minutes of Neil glancing at her wings, then at his own. Rainbow had to stop to give her own critique every couple of minutes, whether he was mixing up steps in the pattern or his wings were falling out of sync. But eventually, he improved enough in her opinion to finally move on.

"Your wing beats aren't smooth at all," She pointed out, watching him go through another slow, stuttering wing flap. "But I can tell you have more power than Fluttershy, at the very least. With practice they'll even out, so let's get to practising already!"

Neil didn't match her cavalier attitude, but she was the trainer. "And how do I do that?"

She trotted right in front of him, looking him in the eyes as she told him, "First, I want you to close your eyes." That was an easy step, but the next steps he needed to follow weren't so cut and dry. "After that, focus on your wings. Every twitch of your muscles, every ruffle of your feathers, the blood pumping, all of it. Then I want you to feel the desire to fly, to flap your wings and go!" 

With each step he completed, he gave her a small nod. At which point she moved to the next. However, while focusing on his wings, he felt a subtle anomaly. He thought it was a sudden spike in blood pressure the first time he felt it. But it continued, every thirty to fourty seconds as his blood pulsed throughout his wings... and his ears too, now that he was focused on it. He thought about mentioning it for a moment, but it didn't hurt, so he continued with the lesson.

Rainbow had one last thing to say when he psyched himself up to fly as she instructed. "Good. Now I'm going to count you down. Three... Two... One!"

Her forcefulness on the last number surprised him as Neil jerked his wings downwards. A small part of him expected to be met with a painful slap of his wings against the stone. Instead, he no longer felt the weight of his body resting against his hooves. Had he really done it? He felt no sudden, upward momentum like a roller coaster against his body. Though he felt a light breeze against his wings. As he contemplated this, a small but essential piece of advice from his Dad fluttered to the forefront of his mind. 'Flying blind is an easy way to get yourself killed'.

He opened his eyes at the perfect time to see the last of his upward momentum bleed away and for gravity to pull him back towards the solid-looking stone balcony. Before he could even think about flapping his wings again, his body tensed as all four hooves slammed into the balcony, and his front legs buckled. Surprisingly, by the time everything stopped, he wasn't in any pain. But he ended up in a very submissive-looking position with his face down and ass up.

He quickly rectified that, doing his best to ignore Rainbow's snorts of laughter. "Yeah, laugh it up. What's next, almighty Wonderbolt?" He snarked, flapping his wings a few times to return to the cycle he'd been practising.

After a few minutes, he regretted asking that.
> 5. Friends in Low Places
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 19th: 5th Day Since Capture)

"C'mon Neil! Just ten more wing-ups and you're done for the day. Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety-three..."

Neil collapsed onto his chest, his breath partially expelled by the force before he gulped in more air to replace it. His wings and back felt like they were literally on fire. To an average person, that meant they pushed themselves too far with their training. Unfortunately for Neil, Dash didn't think like an average person. 

No, for her, the burn was a good thing. And the worst part of it all, she was there by his side every step of the way.

After teaching him a new exercise, she would set an arbitrary number and join him. Pushing him to the extreme while she remained barely winded.

Even now, after hours of sprints, flaps, push-ups, wing-ups, and other pony-specific exercises Neil didn't even want to think about, there was barely a hint of moisture running through her patches of exposed blue fur. Was this just a warm-up to her? That was possible. It was a much kinder thought compared to the other option. He did not want to imagine what it was like underneath the skin-tight suit if that was the case.

"Just seven more. Or are you going to lie down and give up right at the end?" She asked somewhat condescendingly, "You really want to show all these guards you're a quitter?"

Whether it was his lack of breath or a stray amount of dust from the training grounds, when Neil went to respond, the urge to cough caught his words in his throat. Still, he persevered and garbled it out near the end of his fit. "-Uck, cough, you."

"Buck me?" She continued, going so far as to get right up in his face with her best drill sergeant smirk. Given her pony features, it looked absolutely ridiculous. "Too late pretty boy. You had your chance on the balcony and passed it up. Now give me seven more wing-ups!" She jeered as she lowered herself onto the ground with her wings.

Neil remained on the ground, panting, doing his best to reclaim all the oxygen his body demanded. Still, she didn't seem to care about the dust blowing into her face. Her eyes were locked on his, challenging him. Waiting for him to lift himself up once more, against the better wishes of his burning appendages.

Deep down, as he forced his wings to straighten out, something boiled within him to prove he wasn't just another Equestrian stallion. That he was something else. Uncomfortable jolts passed through his trembling wings and up his spine as he slowly, shakily lifted himself up once more. And Rainbow was there, imitating his slow momentum, until he finally crested. 

"Ninety-four!"

What should have taken less than a minute ended after six when Rainbow called out his one-hundredth wing-up. As if she flipped a switch, the hard-ass drill instructor she tried to imitate was gone as Rainbow grinned and stood up. She didn't go far, only taking a few steps before she sat down at his side and extended a wing to rub his protesting back. 

"You did really awesome today! Not as good as me, obviously, but better than I was expecting for your first wing session."

Neil wasn't really listening to her words, however. He was far too focused on her circular wing motions that lessened the aches and pains along his spine. Until the movements stopped, and she lightly tapped the side of her hoof against his shoulder a few times.

"Let's get you back to your room," She offered while looking off to the side. "Um, Guard Dude, mind helping me with Neil?"

He may have been run into the ground at that point, but Neil wasn't incapable of standing on his own. He shifted his splayed legs underneath himself through sheer stubbornness to protest Rainbow's suggestion. But his wobbly legs only managed a few painfully slow inches before he felt Rainbow's wing wrap under his left side. Bulk copied the action on his right, and they both lifted him up with ease.

Once he was standing upright, the wings released. "I was managing fine on my own, you know." He pointed out, giving each of them a look that showed how much he appreciated being manhandled.

Bulk just shrugged placatingly, "You were-"

"But you were taking waaay too long." Rainbow flippantly finished for him. "So, which way are we going?"

"I don't know where my room is from here, but Bulk does," Neil told her, giving Bulk an obvious head gesture to lead back to the infirmary. 

Bulk took his regular position by Neil's side, then pointed towards one of the open arches to Neil's left, leading into and out of the training yard. With the correct direction, Neil eased forward. He did his best not to flair the pain in his abused muscles and ignore the watchful eyes of the off-duty guards. 

"The better question is, why are you following us?" Neil asked as Rainbow fell in on his other side, shoulder to shoulder.

"I'm not going to let my new trainee break a wing by falling down some stupid stairs." She answered as if her explanation was a foregone conclusion. "Besides, I need to know where you are for tomorrow's training session."

"Tomorrow's training session." Neil deadpanned, not wanting to believe the audacity of Rainbow's delusions. Did she expect his body to miraculously heal all the strain he underwent overnight and become as good as new? 

She must have found his lack of faith humorous as she took one look and failed to stifle a snerk. "Trust me, you'll be perfectly fine by tomorrow; Twi was during her flight training."

"Well that's good; there's just one little flaw, though. I'm not her." Neil pointed out as they exited the training area into an unfamiliar and secluded area of the castle grounds. At least he recognized the outer edge of the hedge maze on his right.

"Obviously. Twilight's still normal sized, but you're a little taller than Big Mac is," She explained. He didn't know who Big Mac was, but he didn't care as he felt Rainbow's eyes tracing over his body. His tail unconsciously pressed into his rump. 

"You've got way more muscle than she does, and your wing span is bigger, too. Once your control is good enough you'll be an awesome flyer- Just not as good as me."

He tuned out her following boasts as his thoughts turned inward. The most annoying premise kept a prominent space at the forefront of his mind. Did he want to become an awesome flyer as Rainbow said? 

His final lesson on the balcony had been how to properly lock his wings during a glide. After that, Rainbow concluded their warm up as she put it, and told him to hop up on the railing. Like an idiot, he did just as she asked.

When she pushed him off the balcony to glide without warning, that was one of the most terrifying and exhilarating moments of his life. However, the true addiction came after the spike in adrenaline that shot through his body. 

The subtle allure of wind flowing over his sensitive feathers, teasing him to alter his trajectory with a single flap, or to fold them in and increase his speed. Anything to turn that tingly little caress into a raging river of sensations. That feeling was definitely a top three life experience, right up there with the first time his Dad took him flying in a helicopter.

His body might have automatically followed the siren call if not for the terror keeping his wings locked in a glide. Seconds later, Rainbow took up the position in front of him as the lead flyer while keeping her eyes locked on him. She wasn't shy about barking more orders, either, taking his mind off his fears as she directed him to glide in a lazy circle around the perimeter wall of the training area. 

Bulk, also joined the flight about five to ten feet below Neil, likely as a safety measure in case he needed to be caught.

At that point, he started to understand the joy of flying under his own power. Of course, it was just a little taste as he followed Rainbow's orders without question. The sky was her domain, and he was the untrained idiot waffling about in the air. 

He locked his eyes on Rainbow's wings and immediately imitated their movements to the best of his abilities. Not long after, Bulk flew up to his right side as the ground grew closer.

Once his hooves made contact with the well-packed dirt, with only a light stumble, and his wings were no longer carrying the bulk of his weight, he couldn't repress the delightful shivers that travelled along his back. His wings also unconsciously ruffled his feathers back into alignment.

However, Rainbow didn't give him much time to revel in his newfound feelings as she started her beginners training program.

The training sucked, obviously, as he trudged along. Each of his legs and his body protested against moving with each step. But; he played sports as a teen, he was sure he could get used to a regimen again. 

As long as his trainer didn't push him off the deep end like Rainbow's preferred method.

Tuning back in, Rainbow was boasting about a wonderbolt's performance of some sort. Going from a triple wing blitz, whatever that was, into a sonic rainboom. Neil didn't understand any of it, but he knew what a basic sonic boom was. The speed required for such a feat and the sheer force of the air flowing over his wings...

His wings ruffled against his sides, forcing Neil to stop and regain control of them. For being little more than an immovable accessory just that morning, they were a little too active for his tastes now.

Rainbow also must have noticed as she prodded his shoulder with her hoof. "Yeah, I'm that awesome. If you do well tomorrow, I might even show you some of my tricks," She promised.

"If I don't feel like absolute shit tomorrow," He added, catching a glimpse of her ears twitching as he looked around the grounds. Thankfully, Bulk was there to point toward the perimeter corner of the hedge maze. Once they rounded that particular corner, his view of the infirmary wing of the castle was no longer blocked by the hedges.

As they approached the main entrance, Bulk was kind enough to trot ahead and open the door for the group before taking up his original position at Neil's side. This entrance hall was smaller and less grand than the main palace entrance. But that was to be expected, given its status as a side wing of the castle. After that, it was a simple matter of following Bulk's directions back to his room.

Surprisingly, Rainbow kept quiet as they traversed the building. And despite her predictions, he didn't trip on the stairs as they made their way up to the third floor. But soon enough, the three of them found themselves at his door without any problems. 

"Welcome to my cage," Neil offered neutrally as he pushed into the room with his snout. The first thing he looked at was his bed. True to Celestia's word, his cloak sat there, folded and looking freshly cleaned. Even from the door, he was surprised by the faint scent of marigolds. Not the most pleasant-smelling flower, but one that reminded him of his grandmother's garden.

"Eh, at least they let you out of your room," Rainbow said from the door, looking the room over before she walked over to the table piled with books. "Last time I broke my wing, they almost tied me to the bed until it was healed. So what'cha reading?"

"Anything that catches my interest," He told her as he approached his bed. Once there, he bit down on his cloak, confirming it was the source of the marigold wafting through his room. Not that he could do anything about it, as he set it aside on the nightstand beside his bed. 

After that, he practically collapsed onto his bed. Was he filthy? Yes. Did he care at all? No. Despite his body's protest at the impact, the following ease of tension in his sore muscles more than made up for it.

A moment passed as he curved his neck upwards to keep an eye on the mare in his room. 

Not that he really needed to, as she looked over the books in his current collection. "History books, Princess biographies, boring. I guess Roam is kinda cool since Daring Do and the Ruins of Timbucktu covered it a little..."

Her ramble was paused momentarily as Bulk slipped Battle for the Crystal Empire out of his armour and placed it on the table.

"Uhg, you need better interests than that," She complained as she turned away from the table. "I still remember Twilight reading those battle reports out loud on our first trip to the Crystal Empire."

He couldn't really disagree with her as he recalled his morning reading. "Did she say anything about Alicorn battle tactics?"

"Nah," Was all she offered at first as she hopped onto the folding chair. "She was focused on Sombra and his mind-controlled soldiers. Not that it mattered since we kicked his flank easily."

"I'm sure you did," He offered, having recently read that Cadenza was the one to vaporize Sombra's shadow form in the Crystal Empire. "So now you know where I am. Are you going to put me through more torture? Or do you still have time for some Wonderbolt drills?" He asked, hoping she took the second option.

"Nope. Drills ended over an hour ago, and there aren't any night flights planned," She told him, looking over him and out the window. "But there's still a few hours of daylight left, so I guess I could practice some tricks. Want to watch?"

The newly awakened, flight-addicted part of his brain was tempted. But the rest of him smothered the urge with the soreness of his muscles. "I'm staying right here until the pain stops."

"No problem. Just means I get to show off my awesome tricks tomorrow," She said, hopping off the chair and heading towards the door. "See you later." And with that, she slipped out, leaving him on the bed and Bulk positioned by the door.

After a few moments of silence, Neil addressed Bulk without moving. "I'm probably going to pass out now. Mind waking me up an hour before your shift ends?"

Given his current situation, Bulk's response was short, to the point, and as reassuring as possible. "Can do Neil."

With his impromptu alarm set, Neil closed his eyes. Even with the daylight streaming through his windows to brighten up his room, it didn't take long for him to pass into the realm of sleep.


~~~


... Only for something hard and vaguely hoof shaped to press into his shoulder and shake him lightly. "...il. Neil? Are you awake?"

Neil's first impulse was to tell off the person trying to wake him, but as his mouth rushed in before his brain could think, his articulate response was muffled. Something was clamping down against his muzzle, preventing him from speaking. His eyes shot open- Only to see his own fur.

Sometime during his sleep, his body took the initiative and curled itself into its preferred sleeping position like a dog. His muzzle was lodged between his body and one of his rear legs. He exhaled forcefully through his nose, venting his alarm again for waking up in a panicked manner.  

"'M up." Neil told the pony, whose voice sounded like Bulk's, before removing his snout from the crevice it found in his sleep. He ignored the smell of stale sweat and dust that had marinated into his muzzle's fur as he craned his head towards the voice. A set of golden armour shimmering in the light of an evening sun met his gaze, forcing his eyes to blink before he focused on the pony encased in the armour, Bulk.

Bulk must have noticed since he stepped to the side and removed himself from the direct beam of sunlight. "It's a touch earlier than you wanted to be woken up, but I figured you might wanna eat before we go out drinkin'."

At the mention of food, Neil's stomach let loose its opinion with a commanding rumble, answering for the half-asleep Alicorn. In fact, now that he thought about it, he skipped lunch entirely. Whether it passed while he and Bulk were in the waiting room or Rainbow worked him through it, he couldn't recall. 

But, he hadn't eaten since breakfast this morning, and right next to Bulk was the movable table with a huge sky-blue salad bowl sitting on it.

Neil still couldn't wrap his head around the concept of Alicorn-sized meals. Sure, an Alicorn was slightly larger than the average pony, but not to an insane degree. But, thinking about the sheer volume Celestia put away that first night? The image of Celestia as the Ghostbuster marshmallow monster strolled through his head, and he couldn't help but snicker.

Of course, the thought of marshmallows triggered another, lesser response from his stomach, drawing him back to the food. Sitting up, there were a few noticeable snaps and aches throughout his body. But less than he was expecting compared to earlier that day. That might have veered his mind towards another improbable tangent, that Rainbow could be right about his recovery, if not for the sight of his dinner.

Salad bowl was proven to be an apt description since his expertly cooked meal for tonight wasn't cooked at all. Large leaves of lettuce and a few other sliced vegetables topped with croutons and shredded cheese greeted him. Despite the quality, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at yet another salad.

"No worries. Gives me more time to get ready I guess." He offered as he shuffled across the bed towards his meal.

Bulk simply nodded, then turned to go back to his post. "Call me when you leave the shower; I'll do up your mane again."

Neil nodded in return automatically, despite his muzzle already being buried in his evening meal.

Now that his stomach's demands were being met, his mind drifted back to his body. He experimented lightly, shifting this way and that to bend his spine or stretch a leg. He noted the general soreness still in his limbs and then compared that to the pain he remembered earlier that day. There was a noticeable improvement, far more than he was really expecting...

Was Rainbow right? Would he be perfectly fine for more training tomorrow? He spent about five minutes contemplating the benefits of rapid recovery and the cons of seeing Drill Sergeant Dash with her smug smirk. 

The audacity that any pony felt they could look threatening, given their overall adorable features. He couldn't help but snort as he shovelled another mouthful of salad with his fork...

It took a full second before his mind clicked that he was, indeed, somehow using a fork. With his wing. Just like he would a normal hand, even considering the odd angle his new limb was stretched at. Now that he was conscious about his wing, the two primary feathers holding the fork twitched and dropped the silverware into his half-finished salad. As if they were caught and throwing away the evidence.

Intrigued by his newfound ability, Neil abandoned the fork to its fate. He turned his attention to something bigger and a little easier to manipulate, if a bit more precarious. The glass of water off to the side was the perfect size to experiment with. Neil slowly extended his wings, then flexed the various muscles that interacted with his feathers. 

They shifted precisely as they should have- if he was flying. Not a single feather curved as if it was a finger, though.

Was he overthinking it? He didn't have to consciously think about every little twitch of a finger or twist of the wrist. And his own wings just acted like hands without conscious thought. An odd idea struck him. Rainbow made it clear he needed the desire to fly to actually fly. That, or the desire not to fall and die at the very least. What if he desired to pick something up?

So he closed his eyes and focused on the placement of the glass. Just the distance between him, the drink, and the simple desire to pick it up. He did his best to exclude everything else but still suffered from the occasional distraction when his wing twitched. Time passed, and nothing significant happened... until he felt his fingers wrap around the cooled glass.

Shocked, he opened his eyes only to see his wing extended and his longest primary feathers wrapped around the drink. How his success came about didn't matter at the moment. The sudden endorphin rush of pride swelled up within him. He wasn't completely helpless or invalid by pony standards. 

He also didn't need to pick things up with his mouth anymore! Of course, it would take some fine-tuning, but it could be done.

He immediately willed his wing to lift the glass, only for his rush to lessen as the wing did not comply with his order. In fact, that may have been the wrong thing to do, as a few feathers started to straighten out and lose their grip. Closing his eyes, he focused once more on what he wanted and desired: to take a simple sip of water.

The sensation of glass against his feathers, or fingers as he thought of them, never left. But soon enough, a cool touch against his lips brought him out of his intense focus. So close and yet so far as his wing held itself steady as if waiting for something. Going all in with a shrug, Neil parted his lips as usual for a drink, and as if it was an automatic reaction, his wing finished its task. Tipping the glass far enough for a small sip.

Desire, without thinking. A novel concept that would make his time here much more manageable. In a way, it reminded him of typing, having your fingers dance across the keyboard with both speed and accuracy, without thought. He was never good at that, so he was going to practice with this new ability of his nice and slowly, beginning with his fork.

It was an easy enough task, munching on his salad until the handle was uncovered. After that, he kept his eyes open to watch this time as he desired to pick up the fork and use it for the rest of his meal. Amazingly, he watched as his wing extended on its own, far enough for his feathers to reach the utensil and pick it up. He felt both the metal and the vinaigrette dressing on his feathers. It was one of the weirdest things he'd ever done.

'Was this how Doc Ock felt? And now I'm comparing myself to a fictional villain. Great.' At least his wings didn't have a corrupt A.I. brain to alter his mind, right? With those types of thoughts and his newfound skill, Neil slowly finished his dinner before checking the clock. 

He still had an hour and twenty minutes before Bulk retired for the night and switched with the two lunar guards that patrolled around his door. There was plenty of time to wash the sweat and grime of his training and the salad vinaigrette away.

Hopping off his bed, Neil did just that. It was a strangely invigorating experience, with the hot water leeching away even more muscle soreness and his newly regained abilities to do basic hygiene tasks. He even managed to wash his hair and tail independently after picking out the least feminine scent from the various bottles.

In fact, out of the fourty-ish minutes he spent in there, over half of his time was used up by brushing. His coat ended up good enough by his standards. A single pass from spine to belly was all he needed to do, then adjust his wing a few inches over and repeat. 

But his hair and his tail? Those were two annoying beasts to tame since he didn't have Bulk's finesse. He managed to untangle roughly half of the knots in his hair. The other half felt like they were accidentally ripped out at the end of his ordeal. But he managed all the same.

Now that he was looking at himself in the mirror with his damp hair straightened out, Neil couldn't help but feel like he was looking at a cross between an 80s hair band and an emo singer. His monochrome colours leaned into the style, though it wasn't his preference. Still, it was better than doing nothing as he spun around and exited into his hospital room. 

A quick look at the clock told Neil he still had half an hour to go as he crossed the room. Bulk wanted to know when he was ready to go, so he might as well keep his guard informed. But first, he used his new replacement hands to properly cloth himself with his cloak. Placing it on his back was a breeze, though the clasp was still fiddly. 

He had to bite down on the metal to hold it still while his left wing struggled to properly latch the clip. He knew Bulk could do it, and eventually, he persevered with a satisfying, metallic click.

Unfortunately, when he pushed the door to the hallway open, things didn't go as expected.

Bulk turned his head at the sound of the door opening and gave him a quick look over. Before Neil could say anything, he offered a firm "Nope." Neil was then corralled back into the bathroom, where Bulk touched up his mane. 

The pegasus only used the same brush that Neil did, but somehow, instead of lying flat to his neck, looking plastered on, his hair came out looking more elegant and with far more volume, as if a tiny pillow was hidden underneath. In the middle of his repairs, Bulk was also kind enough to comment positively about Neil's attempt. But overall, it felt like a compliment made out of pity.

He could not deny that Bulk's styling looked far better than his own attempt.

So, with less than ten minutes to go, Neil joined Bulk in the hallway and sat down. The wait was tedious but manageable, given his recent experience sitting in storage crates all day. Before long, a bat pony mare with golden brown eyes, or thestral as they were properly called, came around the corner on his left and into view. Followed by a second, then a third, and finally a fourth.

Typically, only two lunar guards would replace Bulk for the night, so having double the amount of guards sent up a few red flags in his mind. Looking to his right, Bulk took it in stride as the lead thestral quickened the pace of her approach and broke off from the group.

"As the Sun sets to rest, the Moon rises to continue our everlasting vigil," The mare offered in a perfectly posh Canterlot accent once she faced Bulk.

And to Neil's surprise, Bulk matched it, "May your vigil be forever peaceful," Then finished with a salute.

When the mare returned the gesture, Bulk visibly relaxed his stance, and as if a switch were flipped, his entire demeanour became more casual as he turned to Neil. "Well, we're free and clear. I'll drop my armor off, then we'll head to the bar." He turned to leave, only looking back long enough to make sure Neil followed.

Neil quickly fell in behind the pegasus, though after his first step, all four thestrals fell into a protective detail around him with two guards on each side. He might have been taller than all four of his new guards, but their formation gave him the feeling of being walled in. Two of the mares were far enough to the front that their heads were aligned with his own. A quick look at the other two revealed they were only half a foot behind the front two mares and flanking his... well, flanks.

As they walked, he couldn't look back to see what the back two mares were doing without making it obvious. But the front two mares? He kept an eye on them while Bulk led the way. By the time they exited the infirmary wing of the castle, he caught the guard on his right looking at Bulk's rump twice. He could only imagine how many innocent glances he would have earned without his cloak. 

Instead of heading towards the main castle, Bulk turned towards one of the stone buildings fused into the perimeter wall. The square front face was comprised of medium-dark purple stone. As far as Neil could see, there weren't any windows on the ground floor. The only way in or out was a broad, white marble stairway leading to a single set of wooden double doors. 

A pair of lunar guards stood at attention on either side of the stairway. The next floor had four slim windows as far as Neil could see, but they were too thin to allow a pony to squeeze through.

Above the second floor, also melded into the wall, was a small, stubby-looking, turret-styled watchtower. If not for the fact that Bulk led them directly towards the building, Neil might have missed the three lunar guards decked in purple armour amongst the ramparts.

Why would the barracks be stationed outside, away from the main throne room? Neil thought keeping the garrison as close to royalty as possible made the most sense. But the ponies felt otherwise, apparently? And five guards for a single entrance? That felt excessive.

Bulk didn't seem to care about that as he walked up the stairs and pushed through the thick wooden doors. After a cautious look at both guards flanking the stairs, Neil followed. If he wasn't allowed in, then at least one of the nine guards surrounding him would stop him, right? None of the guards made a move to do so. 

If anything, the mare on his right perked up a little as the group passed through the doors and into the castle barracks.

Why, though, Neil couldn't tell as the inside hallway felt the most... barren of all the castle interiors he'd seen so far. With only a few torches anchored to the wall that burned brightly, along with a single expansive golden tapestry that had the garrison unit's emblem stitched into it. 

There were no other decorations, leaving much of the old and chipped stone walls bare. In fact, the only smoothed stonework on the inside was the floor itself, and Neil suspected that was only due to centuries of use. 

Neil didn't have long to contemplate the sparse decor before a single, sturdy-looking oak door appeared. It had a simple brass door handle and a golden plate in the center. Soon after, a second and a third door appeared, revealing a decent-sized grouping down this particular hallway. As Neil passed the first door, he noted the name Lt. Heavy Metal etched into the plate with unified cursive.

Neil's best guess identified this area as the officer's quarters since only one name was etched into each plate. Either way, Bulk walked right on by. After the cluster of doors, the hallway returned to its blank, rough-cut stone walls, with only the odd torch to keep things adequately lit. 

A minute later, another set of double doors appeared, with a torch on each side and a sign above it that stated in thick unified script, Cafeteria. No need to guess what that was for as they passed by. Muffled conversations interspersed with booming laughter came from behind the door, hinting at where most off-duty guards went after shift change. 

It was another minute or so before they ran into another much more extensive cluster of doors that were a little more spread apart than the officer's quarters. As Neil passed the first one, he noted the change in writing, as the golden sign was etched with the earth pony rune for the letter 'A'. The next door was a 'B', and so on. 

Bulk slowed as the door labelled 'H' came up and turned long enough to say, "I'll just be a few," Before disappearing behind the door. Leaving Neil alone with four lunar guardsmares in an empty hallway.

Neil opted to sit and wait since his legs still felt worn from earlier. None of the guards saw fit to copy his action, leaving him surrounded by mares that were thankfully still below head height even in his new position. But a certain amount of awkwardness crept into the following silence, which was only made worse by the two random ponies that walked by.

The first was an older, rusty red earth pony. He walked by as if a small guard detail taking up most of the hallway was a regular, everyday occurrence. But as he did so, he looked Neil in the eye with a raised eyebrow, almost as if he was questioning whether or not Neil could handle his current company.

The second was a pumpkin orange unicorn with a jaunty gait, lost in a melodious hum. The unicorn gave Neil the impression of a pony that swung for the same team, though he didn't know the proper pony term. When the stallion looked where he was going, he blushed at the large group he nearly ran into and quickly trotted past, presumably to the cafeteria.

Thankfully, it wasn't long after that when the door opened to reveal... Bulk? The stallion coming out of the room was a pegasus, and he was also the right height and build to be Bulk. But the pegasus' pinewood-coloured coat and his short, curly, dark brown hair were entirely wrong.

His surprise must have been evident since the pegasus just smiled. "The white's part of the uniform, just like gray is part of the Lunar guard." He said, sounding precisely like Bulk while gesturing towards Neil's current guard detail.

Neil knew that, at the very least. It was impractical and unethical to think about the kind of hiring practice that required only white or gray coated applicants. But he assumed that a guard had to dye themselves the proper colour. Now that he knew it wasn't the case, his mind immediately jumped to solve it. Was it some sort of mini perception ward, but tied directly to the armour? 

He shook his head before he dug too deep into those thoughts. Now wasn't the time for speculation. "Well, you're ready. And I'm definitely ready to get wasted. Let's hit the fucking bar already, eh?"

Bulk nodded in agreement as the stallion exited his room and walked by the group to take his place as the lead once more.

Neil quickly followed but couldn't help but notice Bulk's emblem as he strolled by. In reality, ponies called them cutie marks, but Neil couldn't get past how juvenile that made them sound. Either way, emblems tended to match the pony's name. How or why that happened, he couldn't figure out. Donut Joe, for example, had a donut. Simple. 

Bulk Order's emblem was strangely fitting since it was a simple wooden crate with the top popped off. The sharp end of a spear and the plumage crest of a pony helmet were also poking out of the opening.

It gave him something new to think about as they exited the barracks. His list of ponies with names and an emblem tied to them was small, but he worked with what he had. Parsing the information behind the name and the picture stamped to their butt as a sign of destiny. 

Donut Joe was easy. His name was Donut, his mark was a donut, and on top of everything else, he made donuts in a donut shop.

Bulk was also easy to guess since Celestia mentioned his specialty in logistics. He probably dealt with shipping supplies and arms in and out of Canterlot before taking up his current position. 

Celestia wasn't so cut and dry. Yes, her name likely alluded to celestial bodies like the sun. And yes, her emblem was of the sun itself. But was it just the sun she could control? History books referenced her control of the moon as well multiple times. And, if she could move both at once, what about the other celestial bodies? The stars? The very planet he was on, at that very moment?

He shivered. At least the other princess only had access to the moon, apparently. Though given Nightmare Moon's desire to tidally lock the sun and moon, it only limited her potential to kill off all life on the planet. Or she could just slam the moon into the planet like a toddler smashing building blocks together.

He shoved that cheerful thought out of his mind as they approached the main gate. 

At least, he thought it was the main gate? His perspective from the Canterlot market district only allowed him to see the top half of the castle walls. The horseshoe-shaped gate they were currently approaching definitely did not reach that far up the wall. In fact, it was only a quarter of the height by his guesstimate. A third of the wall, at most, if he was generous and added the pointed gatehouse roofs into the equation.

Whether it was or not, Neil managed to pass through the gate and the six guards that stood watch without hassle. As they crossed the drawbridge, a small thought managed to worm its way to the forefront of his mind. 

Maybe, if he was hopeful, he was allowed to exit the castle whenever he wanted? But, it was quickly squashed because he would still be surrounded by guards. That had to be the only reason he was allowed to leave, with the expectation of returning later.

After the drawbridge and moat sat a small nature park that only took five-ish minutes to pass through. It held a pleasant tranquillity that reminded him of the other park he frequented over the weeks. But this one had plenty of naturally running water instead of just a simple fountain feature.

And then, as if hitting a brick wall, they transitioned into the upper shelf of Canterlot. The area was reserved for the highest tier of nobility and the rich, alongside designer shops and custom boutiques, if the fragments he heard from the market were correct. 

At that very moment, they were entering a high-end neighbourhood with what could only be described as miniature mansions. Each building was three or four floors high and walled off with tall perimeter fencing.

Some of those walls were topped with decorative bars, and a couple were low enough for him to peek over. Allowing him to see immaculately trimmed lawns and bushes. Nothing looked out of place, no matter how gaudy of a decoration. Even the cobblestone roads they were walking along looked premium compared to the streets of the lower shelf he lived on. It felt... wrong, in a manner he couldn't place at all.

And then there were the groups of ponies since the rich only seemed to travel in groups at this time of the day. All the mares wore fancy night dresses and gowns, usually topped with jewellery he couldn't even dream of affording back home. The stallions, what few were out then, wore full tuxedos (at least, full for ponies) and tophats.

Most of the groups stared. Whether they thought Neil might be important or a criminal under guard, he couldn't even fathom. But they usually gave a wide berth, except for the more snobbish ponies that turned up their noses with a prim and proper 'hmph!' in contempt. 

Not that Neil cared. 

After his fascination with the architecture wore off, he focused more on the guards surrounding him. Or, to be more specific, their reactions to the nobles. Which amounted to nothing in the end.

Bulk took notice, though, and sped up a little. It took the group about ten minutes at his increased pace to move out of that wealthy neighbourhood and abruptly halt in front of... A tall, wide church-like building with a bell tower? It had simple wood siding painted white, and from what he could see, two large arched windows on the front of the building that were... blacked out?

At the base of the steeple, but above the front doors, hung a rather large sign with two stylized brass bells mid-swing carved into the painted wood. Underneath that, written in golden unified cursive with a black outline, the sign read The Brass Bells.

Neil couldn't help but groan.

Bulk either didn't notice or care as he waved Neil towards the front door. "This here's the only bar in Canterlot exclusive to guard stallions and whoever they bring along."

Neil reluctantly followed though he noticed his guard detail coming to a halt five feet from the door. Confused, Neil stopped and looked at the guards, then at Bulk.

"The odd mare gets invited in from time to time, but normally it's guard stallions only." Bulk explained before opening the door. Muted bass thumps usually reserved for dance clubs flared out from the door. He waved for Neil to enter a second time.

This time, Neil didn't stop. As he crossed the threshold, he couldn't help but look back and notice two of the lunar guards taking up a position flanking the stairs. The other two took off into the night sky and out of sight, their destination unknown.

The inside of the building didn't feel like a bar. It was warm and inviting with its assortment of rich, varnished redwood accents and painted yellow walls. Along the right wall was a large wooden bench made of the same redwood and a polished wood counter to his left. Behind the counter sat a single forest green stallion with a book floating in his purple aura.

He had just enough time to put his book down before the front door closed, and Bulk walked up to the counter. "Private Bulk Order signin' in with a plus one."

"So good to see you again, Private, and your plus one is... Ne-il, was it?" He asked, without any hint of surprise.

Which meant the stallion was in the know for some bullshit reason. "Close enough." Was all Neil offered, as the green unicorn wrote both names down in what he guessed to be a visitor log book.

The stallion quickly finished with a flourish of his quill, then closed the book. "Very well. I hope you both have a wonderful night and please drink responsibly."

'Not if I have any say in the matter,' Was all Neil could think before the stallion's purple aura enveloped the door leading into the bar and opened it. Allowing the dance music at full volume to flow over Neil's ears without overwhelming him. It was definitely club music, but at sports bar levels instead of being set to migraine-inducing.

Neil could live with that as he closely followed Bulk into the business proper. The first thing that caught his eye was the odd C-shaped layout.

The right side was set up as a restaurant, with about ten tables that he could see and likely more that he couldn't. A few were occupied by ponies eating and chatting despite the music volume. And at least one server was walking around, wearing a frilly uniform similar to the castle staff.

The left side was more like a club, with most of the space dedicated to a large, empty, square dance floor. However, the closest corner of the dance floor had been replaced with a hole sunk into the floor, with what looked like plush pleather-like seating circling the entire area. Both walls were lined with semi-private booths, except for two doors between some of the booths on the far wall.

In the center, less than fifteen feet from the door sat an excellently crafted fourty feet wide bar that could have been ripped straight out of an English pub. Two ponies stood behind the bar. One was a cyan pegasus stallion who wore a simple tuxedo collar.

The second was a peach-coloured mare with light grey hair and a tail wearing a barmaid's uniform. Behind them, the entire wall was covered in shelves and bottles. The only exception was a single door leading into the storage area, or so Neil presumed.

In fact, Neil took a few steps into the club section of the bar to confirm the storage area ran all the way to the back wall. He also caught sight of two separate stages. A small triangular one with a single microphone stand. The second one was raised near the roof and sunk into the storage area. 

The D.J., a white pony with blue hair seemed to be jamming to their music, oblivious to the lack of dancers.

Now that he thought about it, it wouldn't surprise him if the kitchens were also set up in the storage area. Either way, he slowly returned to Bulk, who was now sitting at the bar and conversing with the pegasus.

Which left Neil with the mare as he approached. "Welcome to the Brass Bells! I'm Mousey Poise; what can I get you today?"

"I'm not sure, exactly," Was all he could say as he scanned over the shelves. He wasn't expecting to see a brand he would recognize. But he at least expected something with a similarly named horse pun? 

Unfortunately, their liquor seemed exempt from that cursed aspect of the world. "What's the strongest drink you have?"

"Our strongest?" She questioned before diving behind the counter. Seconds later, she popped back up with the tip of a menu booklet held in her hoof. She placed the book on the counter and quickly shifted through it until she found the drink she sought. 

"Well, our iced fireball is really popular at the moment. That's got a nice, spicy kick to warm you up even with all the crushed ice." She offered, pushing the menu to him.

The picture reminded him of all the times he went to 7-Eleven after school just to cool off with a slurpee. Except the dark red, fruit-punch flavoured slush was poured into a large-looking glass instead of a plastic cup. But a drink to get wasted on? Neil was sure he'd suffer from brain freeze before any sort of buzz set in. His opinion only solidified as he looked at the ingredients list. 

One ounce of spiced dragon-breath, whatever that was, for a sixty-ounce, pitcher-sized glass?

"That's not exactly what I'm looking for," He told her as he clumsily flipped through the menu with his hooves. Every drink he came across was a fruity cocktail of one sort or another, and all of them were stingy on the alcohol. Or held no alcohol at all, judging by the apple cider he stumbled upon. Eventually, he gave up and flipped the menu closed as his hidden wings ruffled in agitation under his cloak. 

"Do you have any drinks that aren't mixed? Even if they're just whisky or vodka shots."

"I've never heard of whisky or vodka before, Sir," She told him apologetically before he picked up a hint of confused trepidation. "But it sounds like you want something to drink from the mare's menu?"

Neil felt a solid urge to slam his head into the bar but restrained himself. It wouldn't do to have his horn get stuck in the wooden countertop or, worse, break. "I would like to look over those drinks, Please," He offered, exasperated that even drink menus were separated by gender.

She reclaimed the stallion's menu, then ducked under the bar again. When she came back up, she held another booklet in her hoof. It was noticeably less thick and had a light amount of dust on the cover. She quickly placed it down in front of him. 

"There you go Sir. I, um, also couldn't help but notice some trouble with your hooves and horn. Are your wings also hurt? If so, I could page through the menu if you want me to?"

Neil paused for a moment after being called out in such a casual manner. The greeter might have been a coincidence, but the bartender as well? "Does the entire bar know about me?"

"Yep!" She answered casually before catching his less-than-impressed look and explaining in detail. "We received a royal missive a few hours ago, which was quite a shock to the staff, let me tell you. A new, male Alicorn? Oh, I can't wait to see how some of the uppity mares around town react. 

But, don't worry, we're all retired guards or under NDA, so your secret's safe with us." Once she finished explaining, she flipped over the cover to a list of thirty-some drinks to peruse. 

A quick look over confirmed that he didn't recognize any of them. "Let's look at this one," He offered, as his hoof pointed to one of the first ones labelled Applejacked. 

As she flipped the pages, his thoughts were elsewhere. How many more ponies was Celestia going to tell? Or was this a subtle hint that wherever he went, Celestia would forewarn all the ponies about the new Alicorn?

He had little time to think before Mousey flipped to the proper page. Unlike the other menu, which had a single cocktail per page, this one showcased the barrel-like bottle of liquor in the top half, then listed the drinks available on the bottom half of the page. 

The applejacked page listed the details for five separate, proper-looking drinks. The old-fashioned, jack rose, appleshine, and applejack-rabbit were served in normal-sized glasses. Applejacked shots were also listed at the bottom of the page.

"I'll start with that one," Neil told her, pointing at the appleshine. It was a half-and-half mix with a drink called moon shine and a touch of lime juice. Whether or not it was the same moonshine as Earth, he didn't know, but he was about to find out. 

Mousey flipped the menu closed and put it back under the bar. "I'll have your appleshine ready for you in just a minute," She turned around and disappeared into the back.

"Finally found somethin' you like?" Bulk asked, drawing Neil's attention away from the door slowly closing.

"Yeah, something called an appleshine," He told the pegasus before noticing the large, orange drink in front of Bulk. "What did you get?"

"A Manehatten Skyline, it's one'a my favourites from home." He explained, just before wrapping the drink in his wing and taking a big gulp from the brightly coloured straw. "How about we go find some seats while we wait for yours to finish?"

This was Bulk's home turf, so Neil just shrugged and nodded as he went along. The pegasus headed into the louder club portion of the bar instead of the restaurant side, which Neil thought Bulk would have preferred. Soon after, a wing shot out from the seventh booth away from the main entrance and started waving excitedly.

An exuberant voice followed the wing, calling above the music, which caught Neil's and Bulk's attention. "Hey Bulk, what'cha doing here tonight?"

Bulk immediately altered his course, heading towards the booth with a smile. "Showin' a friend the best place to order drinks that ain't in Manehatten. How about you two?"

The scarlet pegasus with a sky-blue mane and orange eyes was easy to spot since he was waving his wing like a maniac to get their attention. But as they got closer, the second pony Bulk alluded to came into view. He was a river blue unicorn stallion with a grey mane just a little darker than Neil's fur and green eyes. 

He was resting against the red pegasus with a serene-looking smile. The calm yin, to the energetic pegasus' yang. Or more, if the close physical contact meant anything significant.

"Oh, you know us. We're either enjoying a quiet night drinking here or having a rowdy night of free drinks at Star Light's." The pegasus answered with a smooth tenor.

"You get free drinks, Brother, by teasing all the mares." The second stallion chimed in, sounding almost exactly the same, "I pay for mine at the very least."

The pegasus looked aghast at the mere idea of passing up free drinks. "But, freeeeee!"

By that time, Neil and Bulk made it to the table. "Squall Rider, Calm Water, you likely already heard about my new charge Neil," Bulk offered, waving his free wing close to Neil's chest. "Neil, these two are the most dependable pair of pansies I've had the pleasure to work with," He finished by gesturing to the open side of the booth, offering to get in.

"So you're the new Alicorn twisting the Captain's tail?" Calm Water asked as Neil slid into the booth a little clumsily, finally ending up at the back apex of the curve. Bulk quickly slipped in afterwards, inadvertently locking him in while setting his drink on the table. 

"You know it's not that, Calm. The Captain was antsy before Neil showed up." Squall paused to take a sip from a similar-looking drink as Bulk's, though half finished before he snorted loud enough to be heard over the music. "I bet she hasn't had a good bucking since her promotion!"

"Squall! She's the Captain, for Celestia's sake," Calm said, pushing off his brother and settling an equal distance between Neil and his brother. "With everything that happened over the last year, Captain Armor's elevation, and now the new Alicorn, I'm sure she's just dreading when, not if, the next horseshoe is going to drop." His point finished, the unicorn took a small sip from his clear margarita-looking drink.

"If the next horseshoe is going to drop," Squall countered, shifting a few inches into the booth. "We've had enough excitement for the next century or two. What do you think Bulk?"

"I worry one day at a time," Bulk brushed the question aside before taking a large gulp of his drink. "Don't need to waste my focus on some new Tirek or Eris poppin' outta shadows someday."

Even without Bulk's introduction, it was clear that the three ponies knew each other quite well. Had they worked together before he was captured? And who was Tirek? Something niggled at the back of his mind as if he'd heard it once or twice throughout his time as a pony, but he couldn't remember why.

"Nope, you just have to worry about the first stallion that's bigger than you for once!" Squall jeered playfully, ending with a tipsy giggle before looking at Neil. "And speaking of the newest big boy of Canterlot, what's your story?"

"My story?" Neil asked, confused. What story was he digging for, specifically? His life story? That was long, personal, and something he would never tell a pony. Or was he asking for something else? "What do you mean by that?"

"Y'know, your story. How you ascended." He explained, lazily waving a hoof at Neil's hidden wings. "Celestia's student recently earned her wings by discovering a new type of magic, so how did you do it?"

"Not that you need to tell us," Calm butted in while looking at Neil. "If you don't wish to. My brother is just being nosy."

Squall didn't seem to mind as he bounced against his brother again, leaning into the unicorn's side. "How else are we supposed to learn about the new guy if we don't ask?"

"Sticking to small, safe topics like a normal pony?" He answered, while otherwise ignoring the red pegasus' antics.

"But that stuff's boring." After a few seconds of silence, however, Squall seemed to concede without a care in the world and looked to Neil. "Fine, you can stick to the boring stuff if you want to."

Thankfully, the play-by-play gave Neil more than enough time to decide what he was going to say. Going with the same information he gave Celestia would be good. "I went to sleep in my bed at home, where there isn't any pegasi, unicorns, or magic." 

He gave a pointed look to each brother, respectively, and watched their reaction to his words. Given Squall's incredulous expression, that tidbit about him wasn't given to the guards. Calm, however, held true to his name. 

"The next thing I know? I'm waking up changed in a back alley. You also mentioned a name, Tirek. Who were they?"

However, Squall wouldn't let him change the subject, "Forget Tirek for a moment! You only have Earth Ponies where you're from?"

"Yep." Was all he needed to say, as it was the truth. Earth did have regular ponies. He'd even had the good fortune to ride on one when he was nine. They just couldn't think or speak like the ponies in Equestria.

"Wierd," Was all he had to say before firing off another quick question. "But how would you get anything done without magic?"

Neil was tempted to tease a few advanced technologies, particularly ones he missed about home, but then thought better of it. The point of being here was to get wasted and forget for a while, not dredge everything he missed from home. "Technology. Now, who is Tirek?"

Calm thankfully jumped in before his brother could and answered the question. "The latest tyrant to trample through Equestria, with the help from a certain chaotic spirit. He could syphon the magic from a pony, leaving them barely alive while bolstering himself. Princess Twilight and the Elements eventually defeated him."

Siphon magic? To do that, a pony required a horn. Which meant Tirek had to be... "Another power-mad unicorn like Sombra?"

"Tirek ain't a unicorn," Bulk corrected, "He's a centaur from the Monstrous People's far to the south and a big one at that."

A centaur? Neil was just about to ask for the specifics to make sure they were talking about the same mythological creature, when Mousey Poise came into view with a large drink tray in her mouth.

"Sorry to interrupt your night, Gentlecolts," She apologized perfectly as if her mouth wasn't occupied with an object hanging precariously from it. She was still quick to place it on the table before she continued speaking, "I have an appleshine and a group-sized order of cheese toast here."

Bulk was quick to grab both off the tray with his wings. The left wrapped itself around the drink and passed it down to Neil, while his right placed the food in the center of the table. "I think that covers everything Ma'am."

She gave him a bountiful smile for his actions. "Thank you Bulk, you're always so helpful." 

While that exchange was happening, Neil gave most of his attention to his new drink. Even in the room's low light, he could tell the tumbler full of liqour served to him was a clear, darker brown liquid, but that was the only thing he could discern. 

The next step was to try it and see if this mare drink measured up to his expectations.

Despite everyone in the bar knowing about him, it still felt wrong as he extended his right wing from underneath his cloak and into view. But he ignored that feeling and focused on the drink he ordered. It also wasn't hard to notice the entire table watching him as his feathers wrapped around the small glass.

Even Mousey stayed to watch, her eyes shifting from him to the drink with a hint of worry. Why, though, Neil could only guess. Was she worried the drink would be too strong for him? Once the cool glass reached his lips, he took a small sip. He was immediately hit with the strong taste of apples, but harsher, with an added, simmering warmth of alcohol on his tongue, much milder than some of the drinks in his Dad's liquor cabinet. 

Whatever Equestrian moon shine was, it wasn't the fabled Louisiana moonshine he'd wanted to try for years.

Or was it due to being an ali-bullshittery-corn? If this body ruined drinking as well as everything else... Well, there was only one way to find out. With a shrug, he tipped the whole glass back, swallowed- and immediately regretted the action a few seconds later, as the burning kick of spiced apple roiled back up his throat. 

He somehow managed to keep hold of his glass during the ensuing coughing fit. Once he regained control of his breathing, he slowly placed the tumbler back on the table and slid it around the food platter towards Mousey. "Another appleshine, please."

Her eyes flickered one last time between himself and the glass before she placed it back on the tray. "I guess I'll be right back, Gentlestallions." She then bit down on the tray's slight overhang and turned to leave.

"You gonna be doin' shots like that all night?" Bulk asked after taking a sip of his own drink.

"I don't plan to," Neil told the pegasus truthfully, now that he knew what he was getting into. "Why?"

"Makin' sure," Bulk offered with a shrug before nabbing a slice of cheese toast. "Just in case I need to carry you back to the castle."

"You won't need to carry me back to the castle Bulk," Neil told his guard as the pegasus bit down on his snack. "That first taste was deceptively mild. Now I know better."

Before Bulk could swallow, Calm jumped in on the conversation. "Is that normal where you're from, to just down a whole drink in one go?"

"Not really... unless you're really drunk," Neil said with a chuckle, as the topic sparked a particular memory from high school. "I remember waking up one morning after a bush party with an almost empty bottle of pineapple sourpuss. Pineapple's disgusting, but Kris and Abby told me I drank the whole bottle on my own."

"Sourpuss?" Squall asked immediately, ears perked. "I haven't heard of that before."

"Yeah, I didn't recognize anything from the mare's menu either. Tell you what, stop me if you recognize any of these drinks. Vodka, whisky, tequila..." Neil listed everything he could think of off the top of his head, from brandy to grog, but they only stopped him twice for wine and champagne. Even beer passed by without a sound, leaving one last drink on the list. "... And cider, which I saw in the stallion menu."

"That's an extensive list," Calm noted as he grabbed a slice of toast with his green aura. "Have you tried them all?"

"Oh hell no," Neil answered with a slight chuckle. "We'd drink whatever we got a hold of. Cheap beer mostly, but if we were lucky, we'd get something like sourpuss or cheap vodka."

Squall lifted his glass up to that. "Any drink's a good drink if you're drunk enough, hehe!" He then lowered it back onto the table so he could latch onto the straw and take a long sip. "But if you want to drink with us full-time, you need to give up some vital intel." He stated, waggling his eyes.

Neil could only wonder what sort of vital intel he would be looking for and how it would tie in with drinking? With his curiosity piqued, he took the bait. "What would you like to know?"

"Nothing too exciting," He stated before taking another long sip. "I'm just wondering if you prefer plump, plush, or perky?"

Before Neil could even begin to wrap his head around the question Squall asked, Mousey appeared with his refill. "There you go!" She cheered as she quickly set down the tray and passed his drink as far as possible. His wing took it from her, pulling the glass closer until it was a few inches from the edge. "Should I stay until you need a refill?" 

As she spoke to Neil, Squall surreptitiously gestured his head towards the mare, but Neil still couldn't figure out his meaning. Sure, plump and perky drew his mind to less-than-clean thoughts about a lady's chest. But he wouldn't say plush was an apt descriptor for boobs. That, and mares were not equipped in that regard, as he quickly looked over Mousey's extra fluffy chest. So, what else could it mean? 

Once she finished speaking, he pushed that thought aside and gave Mousey a shrug. "No need; I'm going to take my time with this one."

"Okay. I'll be back in a bit. Or you Gents can just give us a wave if you need anything." She told them as she left, with a bounce in her step that Neil was pretty sure hadn't been there before.

As she turned to leave, Squall made one last, overt gesture with his wing outlining... something round.

It was at that point Bulk leaned towards Neil and quietly told him, "He's askin' about a mare's rear end."

Neil groaned. While sitting in his crates, he'd seen more than a few mares without clothing walk by an alley entrance. Once he got used to the idea that fur acted as clothing around Equestria, he hadn't given them a single thought. But that was always at a distance. 

After his time in the castle, with maids, nurses, and guardsmares? Frozen memories he'd rather not see flashed unbidden into his head. Others were not so still. Even Mousey's soft-looking rump joined the mix before shifting into the largest-looking backside of them all- Celestia herself, when he was forced to walk behind her.

Instead of looking at the other stallions at the table, Neil leaned over and looked down at his drink. The perfect angle for his hoof to lightly smack into his forehead, thankfully to the right of his horn. A small part of his mind urged him to just forget the question and down the whole drink in one go. Again. But he resisted. "No comment." 

"No worries Neil," Squall brushed the topic aside at first. "With the way you were looking at Mousey's chest, you're clearly a fluff stallion," He added with a girlish giggle.

At this rate, tonight was going to be a long night.


~~~


Hours later, with six more drinks down his gullet- or was it eight? Either way, Neil was feeling pretty good at the moment. His surroundings were just starting to go out of focus if he wasn't concentrating, and the familiar happy numbness finally settled into his head, silencing many of his errant, unwanted thoughts. Most of which were spawned from Squall's inappropriate topics.

After delivering their third order of cheese toast, Mousey Poise had just left. Neil vaguely recollected, wondering out loud if an alicorn could over-eat. He even mentioned the insane amount of food Celestia devoured in front of him and Bulk, shocking both Calm and Squall after Bulk reluctantly confirmed his statement. After that, Squall challenged him to see how much cheese toast he could devour.

After one and a half platters all to himself, he couldn't really say he was full. But he wasn't hungry at all. Neil downed the last half of his drink and looked around at his drinking buddies, "I think'm good. The rest of the toast is yours, but I, uh, gotta empty the tank, eh? Bulk, mind moving?"

Bulk nodded and quickly hopped out of the booth. Allowing Neil to slowly and clumsily crawl out. Once his hooves were back on solid ground, he stood a little straighter, masking his tipsyness. Unfortunately, a quick look around the club half of the bar revealed nothing that looked even remotely like a bathroom.

Bulk must have known what he was looking for and pointed directly behind Neil. "Turn left at the far end'a the bar, and go straight. Washrooms are past the door in the corner."

Neil nodded and promptly spun around slowly so he didn't make himself dizzy. He stopped just long enough at the bar to drop off his glass and request another refill from Mousey. Something she was more than happy to do, and she hopped to it right away as he continued onwards.

As he passed into the restaurant half of the bar, the volume of the music cut in half immediately, making Neil pause mid-step. He hadn't been expecting that at all. But then again, it made a weird sort of sense. Who would want loud, pounding dance music while enjoying a meal? After a few seconds he continued forward, keeping the dark wood swing door Bulk mentioned in his sights.

Once Neil pushed beyond that, he was met with a small, sparsely decorated hallway. On his right were two more swing doors, each with a sign. He was fairly sure these were the bathrooms, but he couldn't understand the signs themselves. The left door was a simple teardrop-shaped oval, while the right had two symbols. A curved 'L' that was flipped and laying on its side, with an oddly shaped 'U' to the right.

But he didn't focus on either of those signs for long. At the end of the hall was another door, and above it was a sign he immediately recognized. It was a red exit sign, which was almost exactly the same as the ones from home. 

Immediately, his plan to escape popped into his head. He was alone, without guards to watch him for the first time in days. They were all at the front door, waiting for him and Bulk to leave. This was precisely the opportunity he was looking for!

... Once he finished in the bathroom, of course. His bladder was feeling quite full at the moment. In his haste, he picked the closest door to the exit and quickly took care of his business.

When he returned to the hall, Neil gave the exit door and the surrounding area a good look. As far as he could tell, there wasn't any fire alarm or any other type of alarm. There weren't any apparent locks either. It looked like a simple, if sturdy wooden door. He put his hoof against it and applied a small amount of force. The door swung out easily, without any type of latch to stop it.

Looking through the crack, it was obviously dark outside. Allowing the moon to bathe the surrounding buildings in faint moonlight. But even then, he recognized the colour of standardized cobblestone used throughout the alleys of Canterlot. He was back on his home turf, in a manner of speaking, as he slowly pushed his neck through the door.

Looking to each side, the alley was completely empty except for a few trash bins. Most importantly, there wasn't a single pony in sight. Good. He could just slip away, hunker down, and eventually escape Canterlot. The old castle where Nightmare Moon reappeared could hold some ancient, forgotten knowledge on Roam. 

It was a better shot at getting home than listening to gossip, at least, or looking at a restricted list of pre-authorized books.

As he slipped out the door, and the gap expanded to allow his body through, an odd squeak emanated from... the door? The surrounding area? Neil froze, and his hackles rose. Something felt off, but he couldn't explain what, exactly.

He looked up only after a second, thorough look to the left and right. His eyes first caught sight of some loose strands of hair hanging through the metal grating of a fire escape above him. Following that, he quickly passed over the rump sitting on the metal and all the exposed parts before finally focusing on the slitted, golden brown thestral eyes looking down at him. "Do you require any assistance, Sir?"

Before he could even answer, two more silent shadows swooped over the roof of the building to join the first thestral right next to the fire escape.

Neil pounced on the first idea that came to mind and did his best to sell it. "Just, uh, taking a moment for some fresh air."

The thestral's fanged grin widened. Whether that was a good sign or a bad one, Neil couldn't tell. But the mare took just enough time to look at the hovering guards and give them a sharp nod. They immediately landed, their hooves clacking against the cobblestone flanking each side of the door. He vaguely recognized the guard on his left by her blue eyes. She was the same mare that kept stealing glances at Bulk's ass.

A few seconds later, the mare on the fire escape also swooped down. It looked like she was going to land just like the other two, loud and hard, but at the last second she halted her descent with a broad sweep of her wings. This left her hovering about a foot off the ground, at eye level. "Well? Will you join us for some cool, refreshing air this lovely night, Sir?"

Neil was caught in his own lie. Whether it was the buzz of the alcohol in his system or her knowing smirk, he also felt compelled to meet her challenge as he stepped out of the doorway and into the alley. He barely heard the faint rub of the door against its frame as his only escape fully closed behind him.

"So, you all know who I am," He said slowly, trying his best not to slur any of his words. "Who are you three?"

"You may call me Sergeant Amber Sight, Sir. May I also introduce Private Ice Fang," She gestured a hoof towards the blue-eyed pervert, then to the guard on his right with gray eyes. "And Corporal Silent Wing. Still stationed at the front door is Private Night Wish."

"Ah. Well it's good to meet you then, Amber, ladies." He offered, giving each mare a slight nod. "It's also good to have real names instead of stupid nicknames to go by. I hope I didn't, uh, interrupt anything?"

"Only another quiet, yet beautiful night given to us by our Princess," She offered before her perfect Canterlot accent slipped a little, hinting at the odd accent he heard the night he was captured. "But is not the night also full of surprises?"

Neil could only shrug since the only experiences that came to his foggy mind were bad ones during his Equestrian stay. "Only bad ones over the last few months for me."

"That is such a shame," She began, touching down lightly on the cobblestone without a sound. "But, tonight perhaps is the night to change such luck?"

"Besides getting shit-faced drunk, I don't see how I can." Neil flat-out told her, hoping she wasn't suggesting anything amorous.

"A good night drinking with a friend is always one way, yes." She offered before she held her bat-like wing straight up to the sky. "Another, I find, is to sit, relax, and enjoy the stars in the sky. That is what I was doing, before your... not unexpected escape attempt."

Neil immediately tensed at her words but didn't say anything, allowing Amber Sight to continue.

"Normally, it is the Corporal Silent wing and Private Night Wish one night," She explained, raising her right wing. She then dropped it to raise her left, "Then myself and Private Ice Fang the next. However, upon hearing of your desire to leave the castle, the Sun Princess asked for your nightly detail to be doubled."

At that point, she raised both wings together with a slight shrug. "Add to that your first reported escape attempt, and here we are, enjoying the night together, yes?"

Given the fact that his horn hasn't been bashed in so far, it wasn't his worst night spent with a guard. But he couldn't truthfully say he was enjoying that exact moment of the night. "So what happens now?"

"That is up to you, Sir. We may escort you to the front door so that you may rejoin the nightly festivities with Private Bulk Order. Or, we could remain here for however long you may wish..." Her ears perked up, and her eyes shifted slightly to look at the building behind him. "Or the Private may have become worried, to the point of looking for you."

Seconds after her statement, the back door slowly opened to reveal not Bulk's but Squall's muzzle poking out. "Well hello there, Gentlemares. I hope you don't mind if I borrow Neil for a moment?"

"If he wishes to go with you, then be our guest," She answered before looking Neil straight in the eye. "We shall remain outside until your night of festivities has finished. Until that point in time, enjoy yourself very much Sir." Neil gave her a nod, which she, in turn, gave a nod to Corporal Silent Wing and took off, with the second thestral following right after her.

This left just Ice Fang and himself in the alley, with Squall giving them both a confused look as if things weren't what he assumed they were.

Either way, Neil did not want to be left with the pervert of the thestral group and reached for the door with his wing. Squall was also quick to step aside as he entered the bar again. "So, what did you need me for?"

"Well, Bulk was starting to get a little antsy, aaaand I needed to get a refill. So I offered to help ya out," He explained before brushing up against Neil's side. As they walked down the hall, he quickly put a red wing over the Alicorn's cloak-covered shoulder. 

"And it's a good thing I did. One of my bunk mates recently got with a bat pony. Don't get me wrong, their wings are exotic-looking. But those fangs? He said she nibbled him with those in allll the wrong places. And you were gonna try your luck with three at once?"

"Are you saying...? Of course you are. I wasn't going to fuck any of those mares," He told his companion vehemently while noting how the wing on his shoulder partially jerked away when he swore. "I just wanted some fresh air, and they're my guards."

"Whatever you say," Squall offered as he trotted ahead to push open the door. "Your refill showed up while you were away, and mine should be ready by now, so let's go!"

Neil shrugged and followed behind Squall at a sedate pace. If he really wanted his drink so bad, he could run ahead. Instead, the pegasus cycled between looking back and fluttering his wings impatiently as they crossed through the restaurant section. 

Once at the bar, Squall quickly ran ahead to pick up his refilled drink in his wing. He also exchanged a quick word or two with Mousey that Neil couldn't hear above the music. Still, a few exaggerated brow wiggles told him Squall was probably flirting with the barmaid.

"... Anyway, now that the slowpoke made it back, we're off to enjoy our drinks." Squall finished just as Neil came up to his side.

Mousey had a few parting words of her own as they left. "And don't forget to call if you need a refill, Gents!"

However, as they crossed into the club section, Neil was reminded of something odd. "Hey Squall, what's with the second stage? Is it for karaoke night or something?"

"Karaoke?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused. "I've never heard of that before. But the small stage in the corner is for heartsongs. Y'know, if a stallion is feeling sad, lonely, or depressed and just wants to get it all out?"

A pony just singing out their emotions? That reminded him of the musical he almost suffered from a few weeks ago. "Isn't that when everyone is compelled to sing along?"

"Sometimes," Squall conceded without a care, "But those are usually big, emotional celebrations. They're pretty fun most of the time."

Fun. Sure. Only if you grew up in a world where ceding control of your body to an unknown force was normal. "And ponies go up there and do it voluntarily?"

"Yep," He answered bluntly as they neared their table.

Neil shook his head and did his best to ignore the shivers going up his spine. At least the bar was pretty much empty of patrons tonight. Otherwise, he'd have to keep a strict eye for any ponies willing to initiate one of those heartsongs. "I'd have to be stupid drunk to even think of doing that."


~~~


It might have been two or three hours later. It was so hard to keep track of time without a clock. Not that Neil would be able to tell the time without putting his muzzle right up to it. Everything was blurry. Hell, the only reason he could tell his drinking buddies apart was due to their colours. And even then, three separate pairs shared a colour out of the six. 

It was very inconsiderate of the Bastards, but being the excellent drinking companion he was, he put up with it.

"I wash shaving up to learn how to fly, y'know? At leasht, one way to fly," Neil told the group as he zoomed his half-empty glass through the air in front of him with daring feats, sound effects included.

"But I thought you said no pony had wings?" The two red blobs asked, sounding far too drunk for his own good. Neil idly wondered if Mouseley was going to cut them off soon? "You can't just fly without wings!"

"Hells yesh we can!" Neil immediately countered while also putting his drink down. "Sho, let me tell you alls how to fly without flappy wings, shokay? You start with, ah... yoush have trains, right? Okay, think of a reeeeeally long train car. Like my body." He offered as he climbed onto the table. They needed to see his body clearly for the demonstration, right?

"Then put a really long, flat rectangle on each shide, but shwooped back kinda like ma wingsh," He extended both wings out from under his cloak and held them out at the... relatively correct angle, with only a little wobble. "Then have an engine on each shwoopy fake wing shucking air in and pushing it out back. Add in shome compla... complica... fanshy physhics, and wala, flight!" He decreed, pointing a hoof forward... And suddenly, he felt as light as air, given the ticklish green aura covering his belly.

"Is that the way you were learning to fly?" Calm asked, drawing Neil's attention to him and the fuzzy green and blue blur growing out of his head.

"No, it washan't. My Dad's a pilot. He flew hella... helio... Choppers. He flew choppers. Think of a shmall, bubble-like shape with a big, sharp fan coming out the top that shpins really fasht. Yeah, my Dad's a hero!" He told them all as he was tipped over, back into his seat by the fuzzy green aura that disappeared immediately. 

"He took sheriously injured peo... poniesh from shmall towns to bigger shcity hoshpitals. I wanted to fly with him, sho bad. But now I can't," He admitted to himself and the others around him while a sudden, deep sadness filled his chest. He wanted the fuzzy green aura back to replace the sad.

"You've got wings now," One of the two red blurbs said, though Neil couldn't tell which one. "Why can't you fly with your Dad?"

"I can't get home. And if I did?" He asked, more to himself as his vision became even blurrier and warm all of a sudden. "The govort... Governen... Libs or Cons will call me a fucking freak and cutsh me up into teeny tiny piecesh, jusht to shee how I work!"

The next thing he knew, he was lying on the table. But he couldn't understand how or why. Just that he almost tipped his drink over... Or maybe he did. His face and chin were feeling pretty damp. 

Something pressed against his shoulder, and he was sure it was one of the Bulks since it was a tan hoof. It felt... comforting? But it wasn't enough. "I jusht wanna go home. But no, I get locked up inna cashtle inshtead."

He also didn't want to feel like this anymore. Drinking helped fix emotions, right? Or was it drinking that made him like this? He couldn't remember, but he felt his wing fumbling around the table until it found the glass near his head. Encasing the entire glass with his whole wing, he carefully brought it to his lips and found it empty.

He set the glass down with a drunken moan of despair and looked to the tan blobs, "Refill Pleashe."

One of the Bulks took the glass but set it aside in the blurriness beyond his vision. "Neil, I'm thinkin' you've had a mite too much as it is tonight."

He was immediately reminded of Abby. She always told him when he drank too much, and she was usually right. But then she moved out of town to university. And there was no way in hell she could see him here. Not that he wanted her to see him as a freak of nature. Those blurry thoughts increased the sad feeling in his chest. But if he couldn't drink it away, then what?

And then it hit him. The stage. Squall said he could use that to get rid of the sadness. And if he was the one singing, he couldn't be sucked in to sing along, now, could he? It was a perfect idea, as he turned to the Reds. "Shinging helpsh, you shaid?"

"It does," They both said. "Sounds like you could use it too, Bud."

"Then I'm gonna shing," Neil declared, putting one, then both of his front hooves onto the table. For a moment, he contemplated climbing over the table. It would be the easiest way to get out of the booth without making anyone else move for him. But then he saw both Bulks slide out for him, giving him enough room to stumble and slip out of the closed-in seating.

Once free, he took a good, long look around the empty club. He vaguely recognized the bar, with its blurry, multicoloured bottles, and the main stage, with its flashing club lights. But he couldn't pick out the smaller stage from the otherwise hazy background. Going off his fuzzy inner-compass, he chose a direction and started going.

"Hold on, I got this Bulk," Squall said from behind him, and the next moment, one of the reds was pressing into his side. Diverting him more to the right, towards another corner. It was that corner! Not the other one. Stupid memory.

With one of the Squalls guiding him, it didn't take long to get to the stage while avoiding the comfy-looking giant hole in the ground. Why anyone would put something like that near a dance floor, Neil would never know. 

But, that wasn't important, as he was now climbing onto the stage. For some reason, Squall stayed off the stage, and he was now joined by the other red blob. Odd, Neil didn't remember being guided by both of them. But he was on the stage, ready to remove the sadness choking him!

He stumbled towards the microphone as the overwhelming beat of the club started to fade away. Neil paused and looked to the main stage. Were the D.J.s staring at him? He couldn't really tell at this distance. Was it a good thing if they were? He didn't know, but he was so close to his goal that it didn't really matter one way or the other.

Once he reached the all-powerful artifact, he planted his butt on the stage for some much-needed stability. It wouldn't do to fall in the middle of his song, now, would it?.. After a few seconds, he lazily blinked and looked at the only multicoloured booth. Shouldn't he have started by now? Or was something wrong?

There probably was. He wasn't a real pony, after all. You probably needed a proper pony soul to start one of their stupid songs. But no, he was just a foolish human lost in another world... He needed a drink. 

That was the only way he knew how to get rid of his emotions. The better, human way! Instead of whatever he was doing up here. He suddenly didn't want to be there, didn't want to be in Canterlot or Equestria at all. He wanted to be home but couldn't, bringing another resurgence of sadness and despair to overwhelm his strained emotions...

And then he heard it. A slow, mournful-sounding string. He had no hope of placing the instrument in his current state, but the second instrument sounded like a synth piano, adding a hint of hope to the otherwise depressing rhythm. As more instruments joined and the volume grew a sudden clarity came over Neil's mind. Words and thoughts strangely formed in his mind, giving him a direction to take if only he was willing to do so.

That was the whole reason he was up here, right? The moment he accepted, a second, more mellow-sounding string instrument joined along as he felt something take over.


~
When I fall asleep, I see it in my dreams,
The answer of it all.
~


Words were coming out of his mouth, but he wasn't the one in control. It would have been terrifying if not for the knowledge that these were his words and that this was his song, straight from his emotional core.


~
Just blend into the crowd, but I'm compelled to stand out,
And answer to the call.
But everything is changing, the winds that I've been chasing, got me suffocating,
To live up to the name.
But what did I get into? I can't seem to break through, playing by the old rules,
But you changed the game.


There's so much I can prove.
And I don't wanna lose!
~


With a deep thrum, drums finally joined the medley. Triggering an increase in speed and excitement from the accompanying instruments, as well as Neil, who was singing.


~
All the songs have been sung, but I don't hear a sound.
All the noise is the same.
All the air in my lungs, I'll finally let it out.
Let the wind show the way; the wind will show the way.
~


Seconds passed as the uplifting feeling from the previous chorus bled away. The song scaling back down to its more depressed base, except for the added deep, ominous rumbling from the drums.


~
Lying wide awake, everything is changed,
A stranger in my skin.
Broken from my past, fallen from my path,
A poison deep within.
But what if it all breaks down, struggling for air now, need to find a way out,
Fighting through the pain.
But what did I get into? I can't seem to break through, playing by the old rules,
But you changed the gaaame~
~


For a second, the instruments cut out entirely. Giving a slight glimmer that the song might have finished, only for Neil to continue singing alone.


~
There's so much I can prove.
And I don't wanna looose~
~


As if they were summoned by Neil himself, the more uplifting string of instruments came back with force.


~
All the songs have been sung, but I don't hear a sound.
All the noise is the same.
All the air in my lungs, I'll finally let it out.
Let the wind show the way; the wind will show the way.


Oh-oh-oh-oh,
The wind will show the way, 
Oh-oh-oh-oh.


The bridge might burn down,
But my spirit won't burn out...
~


As the final word faded from his lips, so did all the instruments in the background. Whatever took hold of Neil released him from its fluttering wiles while leaving him just a few seconds of pristine clarity. Two whole seconds, which he used to look at the booth where Bulk and Calm were seated and gauge their reactions.

From what little he could glean, Bulk was watching him intently, though he couldn't guess why. As for Calm, the unicorn was holding a piece of cloth or a napkin in his aura, and he was using it to dab the bottom of his eyes? Was what he'd just done really that sad? He didn't think so, but as he thought back to the words, things started getting fuzzy again.

Perhaps his last good idea, before the blanket numbness of being drunk settled in, was to jump from the stage while he still had some coordination remaining. He managed to stumble only a little when he landed and bumped into Squall's side, which held firm. Or trigger his trap, as both wings wrapped around Neil's larger form.

"You sounded like you needed a hug, so here's a hug, Bud."

For the first time since he came to Equestria, he didn't really mind the contact. In fact, Squall was right. He could really use a hug. So he leaned into it and wrapped a wing around Squall as well. "Thanksh," Was all he could say as his happy drunkenness finished settling in for the night.
> 6. Morning Glory
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 22nd: 6th Day Since Neil's Discovery)

Given how well the morning had progressed, Celestia couldn't help but smile. Like clockwork, she felt the pull of her Sun an hour before dawn, which woke her up from another set of pleasant dreams constructed by Luna. Even a year later, every night felt like a blessing compared to the intermittent nightmares she had persevered during her time alone.

In return, she always used that extra hour to prepare a veritable feast of breakfast foods for her sister after a long night of work. The first few weeks had left the castle staff a little strained with her actions. It was unbefitting for a pony of her station to do something as menial as cooking a meal, more so when she had a professional staff to do it for her. 

But in time, they understood it was a way for her to inadvertently provide for, interact with, and share time with Luna. Time that was marred yet again by another perceived failure on Luna's behalf. 

It was a minor ongoing problem that had recently popped up, though it might still prove to be a blessing in disguise. Either way, Celestia could tell it vexed her sister to no end every night. That problem went by the name of Neil, or to be more specific, his dreams. 

Every single morning since he was found, Luna would vent her frustrations at his wispy, almost malformed, reoccurring nightmares. They both knew the likely cause. It was the chaos magic circulating throughout his system. 

Over the last week, Luna had admitted more than once that she could see faint images at the edge of his dreams. Even rarer, she sometimes caught momentary glimpses of the themes haunting Neil. But, her ability to manifest the nightmare into a cohesive structure so that she may enter? 

Every attempt to touch his wispy, almost malformed dreamscape with her magic caused it to collapse as if flour were sifted through a sieve. Then, his dream would either reform instantly, creating an entirely new vision that soon devolved into another nightmare. Or it would remain shattered, forcing Neil to rest with nothing but a black void for company on his nightly journey.

It was no different from Luna's few attempts to contact Eris through a dream. Luna's dream magic and Eris' chaotic nature were wholly incapable of mixing. A shame, really. Despite Eris' nature, Celestia could only imagine what her dreams must have been like.

Besides that little hiccup, breakfast went smoothly as court gossip and other idle topics were discussed. The main subject of discussion that morning, the royal delegation from Yakyakistan, was also why she had missed their shared meal yesterday evening. 

Not only had Princess Twilight and her friends kept Ponyville relatively intact, but the delegation was so impressed they even revoked the traditional declaration of war after each visit! Soon enough, however, breakfast ended as it always did, with a sleepy Luna stuffed from a freshly home-cooked meal and teleporting straight to her bed.

Before Celestia could even attempt to do any cleaning, the castle staff were already doing their jobs. Robbing her of another small but meaningful pastime. With a smile and a 'thank you' to her staff, she stood up from the table and leisurely left the room.

She hardly noticed as her assigned guards for the day, Lieutenant Hammer and Major Bow, took up positions beside her as she walked. It was quite unfortunate that no matter how nice the day, there was always work that needed doing. In this case, a pile of ever-growing paperwork required her signature and sorting by the end of the week. With a full hour before the start of today's Day Court, perhaps it was best to get a start on it now?

Without thought, her hooves took the well-trodden path toward her private office while her mind focused on the various aspects of her schedule for the day. As far as she knew, today's workload would be fairly easy. Raven had yet to mention any ambassador or dignitary meetings scheduled for today. If everything worked out, she could also earn some free time after her court duties. If everything worked out. 

After ruling Equestria for centuries alone, the predictability of the average minor emergency popping up or a petition becoming far more complex than it initially seemed? It usually happened twice a week, robbing her of her valuable scant free time.

The thought of teleporting briefly fluttered to the forefront of her mind to save a minute or two of her precious time. Still, in the end, she disregarded it. She barely had the opportunity to walk freely nowadays, let alone fly, and she was almost to her destination. Just one last corner and her office came into view.

Most ponies wouldn't expect the vast majority of her work to be done behind such plain, unassuming doors. But after centuries of opulence and extravagance, a small touch of normalcy did wonders for her well-being. 

In the blink of an eye, she directed her magic towards the door handles and opened both doors moments before she would have run into them. As was routine, both of her guards peeled off as she crossed the threshold, taking up positions at either side of the door until she decided to leave.

Everything was as she left it the previous night, except for two essential things. First, as was the regular routine, Raven sat on the single chair in front of her desk, enjoying her morning tea. She was immaculately groomed, as was expected from her personal assistant. 

Still, no matter how good her ability to hide her emotions, Celestia already noted multiple signs of stress. The subtle roiling of her pink levitation spell as she daintily hovered her almost empty teacup and the stiffness of her back hinted at an interruption already in her daily schedule.

The other important change was her pile of unfinished paperwork. Every morning, it would grow, of course. But today, sitting at the very top, were two unusual-looking items. 

One was an envelope sealed with blue wax. Off the top of her head, Celestia only knew of three ponies in Canterlot that would choose such a colour. Judging by the illustriously decorated and fragrant envelope, her choices narrowed down to a single stallion. Had Blueblood uncovered yet another conspiracy by the nobles to slip tax breaks through the Lunar Court again?

The other piece of paper, a long, thin bill that seemed to be curling at the ends, looked far too mundane to be placed on her desk.

"Good morning, Raven," She greeted as the doors closed behind her with a light click. "I see you've met with Blueblood this fine morning. May I ask what sort of plot my Nephew has uncovered today?"

"The Prince never mentioned anything of the sort this morning, Princess," Raven said after finishing her tea. "No, today it's a luncheon invitation."

"An invitation?" Celestia's curiosity was piqued immediately. It was uncommon for her Nephew to send her a formal invitation. Those invitations were reserved for events Blueblood believed she needed to be at. Brushing aside the bill with her telekinesis, she picked up the envelope and turned it to view the front... And to her mild surprise, it wasn't addressed to her. No, this invitation was addressed to Neil of all ponies.

For a moment, she wondered why her Nephew felt the correct way to send Neil an invitation was through her. Afterwards, she remembered who else was in the hallway during their fateful first meeting and smiled. "It appears Neil is going to have a very eventful luncheon. Do you think my Nephew will introduce his full entourage?"

"Do you expect him to do anything less than a full first impression?" She asked, her skeptical tone hinting at the answer they both knew.

That did not bode well at all, knowing how volatile Neil's frayed attitude was. "Do you think it would be improper of me to join? Just to make sure events do not erupt into arguments that would ruin their time together?"

Raven's professionalism broke as the mare gave an apologetic look, spelling doom for that hopeful idea. "That's not possible, Princess. Tax Break has scheduled a lengthy presentation just before noon today, so your lunch has been rescheduled for one o'clock."

Celestia passed her desk and sat in her centuries-old, worn, but very comfortable chintz chair. "Perhaps we could reschedule?"

"Unfortunately, we've already rescheduled his presentation once already," Raven answered her with a commiserating head shake. "To do so a second time in a row would be very rude."

Celestia sighed as she placed the invitation on her desk. "If that is the case, then I hope my Nephew can show some form of restraint."

"...I'll draft the funeral arrangements after lunch, then." Raven offered seriously, almost causing Celestia to snort as her telekinesis shifted to the bill.

Knowing what Neil and Private Bulk had planned to do the night before, she had been expecting such a thing. And knowing her own tolerance towards the occasional glass of wine or champagne, she had expected Neil to build up a long list of drinks. What she was surprised to find out as she reviewed the bill was the amount of drinks containing hard liquor and the overall cost written at the bottom.

There wasn't a chance in Tartarus of making a dent in her personal account. Still, the total was far steeper than she was expecting. It almost equalled the cost of his cloak, a quality article of clothing from a high-end boutique!

As much as she would have loved to get started on her paperwork, a much more pertinent task needed her attention. Reluctantly, she stood up from her chair and shuffled the envelope and the bill under her wing with her magic. "It seems I need to speak with Neil this morning. I'll see you at Day Court in forty five minutes, Raven."

"Of course, Princess," Raven nodded while hopping off her chair. "Your full schedule will be available for your perusal before Day Court begins."

"Thank you, Raven," She said while opening the doors for her most trusted aide. Celestia followed closely behind the unicorn. 

As she exited her office, she noted the confused side glance from Lieutenant Hammer due to her earlier-than-expected exit before her guards slipped into their positions at her side. She mentally chuckled at that. Spontaneity was one of the few things that kept life interesting for an old mare such as herself.

Raven Inkwell veered to the left towards the throne room at the end of the short hallway. Knowing her, she was likely to drop in unannounced and help direct preparations for today's court session. She, on the other hoof, turned right, back towards the dining hall she came from. Even further along that path was the bridge attaching the infirmary to the castle's central section and Neil's temporary room. 

But then she paused mid-step. As much as she would have enjoyed the walk, she had much to do and insufficient time to be appropriately rationed. She gave each of her stone-faced guards a slight glance before offering a warning. "Prepare yourself; I'm about to teleport all of us."

By the time her words were said, her horn had already accumulated the magic required to cast her spell, and that's just what she did. In a flash of gold, their surroundings changed. Gone was the extreme opulence from over one thousand years of doting ponies, only to be replaced by simpler yet still extravagant purple stonework and the main entrance to the Castle Infirmary.

She gave each of her guards another, more motherly scan this time. She knew few ponies were accustomed to the feeling of teleportation, most of them being well-trained mages. Most ponies felt disorientated or nauseous from the sudden shift, making them unsteady on their hooves. 

Her current guards were standing firm, however, even if their last experience with teleportation would likely have been during boot camp. The Major even gave her a nod to affirm his status as she finished. 

With time ticking away, she pushed open the swinging double doors to the infirmary with her magic and entered. The transition back to white marble, with simple wood accents, felt calming as she looked over the room. The wall to her right had three arched windows, allowing plenty of morning light to bathe the waiting area. There were another three sets of simple double doors, each with a little golden plaque which read employee only, surgery, and patient recovery. Finally, the front desk was nestled between the employee lounge and surgery doors, which she approached. 

Usually, when she entered a section of the castle unannounced, there was an underlying frantic excitement or a sudden jolt to look proper and professional if they were caught reading or filling out paperwork. 

The mare behind the desk, Head Nurse Prim Rose, instead looked at her expectantly as if she had been waiting for an appointment. This expectation threw her off just a tad, but she didn't show it as she smiled at the Head Nurse. "Good morning, Nurse Rose; I've come to visit Neil. Are visitors allowed?"

"Of course you may, Princess. Also, there's a package here addressed to you from the Element of Laughter." The Nurse informed her as she placed a colourful, confetti-laden box on the counter with a bow on the lid. She also set a card down next to the package. 

That would explain Nurse Rose's lack of surprise. But, why would Pinkie leave this here when she visited Ponyville the previous day?

As much as Celestia enjoyed the decorations on the box, she whisked away all the loose confetti with her magic. Having little pieces of paper lingering within the infirmary wouldn't do. Next, she picked up the card in her magic and opened it. 

Inside the card was a simple message written in coloured pencils with child-like enthusiasm.

To: Princess Celestia
Open box in case of an Adorable Emergency!
From: Pinkie

Odd, but not nearly the most outlandish experience she ever received from a party pony. That crown belonged to Sir Cake-A-Lot and the gala festival of five fifty-eight... Never before had she woken up from a party only to be covered in so much delectable cream. Taking both items, she placed the box onto her back for safe transport and the card under her left wing to keep it separate from the bill and the invitation.

"Thank you, my little pony," She told the Head Nurse with an appreciative nod. "On the off chance I don't see you on my way out, I hope you have a wonderful day."

As she turned to head further into the infirmary, she heard Head Nurse Rose call after her, "You as well, Princess Celestia, and don't let Neil give you any of his usual attitude!" That was the hope, though she expected some venting no matter how much she disliked his choice of vocabulary. 

Her magic captured the pair of swinging doors labelled patient recovery and gently pushed them aside, allowing her and her guards to pass through. After that, the route was easy to follow. All she had to do was walk along the outer wall and bask in all the natural sunlight allowed into the hallway by the multiple windows facing out towards her beautiful Sun.

She turned the corner two minutes later, expecting to greet Private Bulk. Instead, she paused mid-step as she caught sight of Sergeant Amber Sight of her sister's Lunar Guard, standing at attention beside Neil's door. 

Both confused and intrigued, she regained her momentum and walked up to the Thestral. "Good morning to you, Sergeant Sight." 

The mare immediately gave a strict but formal nod in return. "Sun Princess."

Sergeant Sight may have been alert, but Celestia could still see the strain in her eyes. However, she didn't know whether that was from tiredness or the bright sunlight. "I fear this may sound rude, but I was expecting to see Private Bulk standing here this morning. Nothing happened to him or Neil last night, correct?"

"Correct, Princess. Both Neil and Bulk returned to the castle unharmed." Sergeant Sight informed her in perfect Canterlotian. "Neil is in his room with an entourage, Bulk included."

Hearing that Neil and Bulk returned safely to the castle allowed a moderate amount of relief to flood her system. However, that froze the moment Sergeant Sight mentioned an entourage. 

Immediately, Celestia's mind went back to the conversation she had with Bulk while Rainbow and Neil worked on his flight training exercises. Bulk implied he would take Neil to the Brass Bells for a relaxing night of drinking and stress relief. 

Did he take Neil to another bar, instead? Or did they change locations after running up the bill? If so, why wasn't there a second bill to greet her? Unless this entourage offered to pay for their drinks?

Is that what Bulk meant by stress relief? She couldn't deny the faint twinge of emotion at the audacity of another mare taking advantage of either stallion in such a state. It was unbecoming of a mare! Not only that, but she would need to do some damage control. 

She had to find out how many of her little ponies now knew about Canterlot's newest Alicorn and see if they would be willing to keep it a secret. And she would only do that by entering his room and talking with these mares...

"Thank you for telling me, Sergeant Sight," She offered while covering her emotions with a calm smile. She did, however, stand a little taller. "As the Moon wanes in the morning light, the Sun shall illuminate the darkness. Go and get some rest, my little pony."

Sergeant Sight's eyes widened, almost comically, before she saluted. "May your vigil be forever peaceful."

Celestia returned the salute and allowed the tired mare to take off and fly down the hall. 

Once the Sergeant was out of sight, she turned to Lieutenant Hammer, "As of this moment, you are to guard Neil until relieved by Private Bulk Order. At that point, you may return to my side in the throne room. Is that acceptable?"

"Of course, Princess," He answered professionally, breaking away from her side and taking up the Sergeant's recently vacated spot. 

With that minor complication taken care of, she faced the door to Neil's room and steeled herself for the after-effects from a night of stress relief. At the same time, Major Bow took up his position on the other side of the door. 

She only hoped the ponies inside hadn't woken up and resumed having sex. That was always an awkward experience, watching ponies in various states of arousal breaking off from their lewd activities to offer bows or curtsies. With one final, subtle, calming breath, she opened the door.

Her nose was assaulted with the scent of heavy drinking, a potent mix of both alcohol and salt lingering in the air. But the pungent smell of estrus and semen was missing entirely from the room. Hopeful, she stepped into the room... And had to keep down the urge to coo at the sight before her.

Sleeping on the oversized hospital bed designed for a Minotaur, was Neil and three other stallions. A rare sight to behold outside of the stallion barracks. Neil was at the bottom of the pile, with his wings and rear legs haphazardly sprawled out while he slept on his side.  

The other three stallions positioned themselves around the Alicorn, whether intentionally or not, to protect him during the night. She immediately recognized Bulk's pine-coloured coat, as his large size covered Neil's entire back end like a muscular blanket. 

A red wing belonging to Corporal Squall Rider covered Neil's shoulder from behind as the pegasus curled against his back. She spotted Bulk's head using Squall's flank as a pillow. Finally, Sergeant Calm Water protected Neil's front, acting as the little spoon to Neil, who held the blue unicorn as if he were a large plush.

She also spared a small amount of attention to note two hospital tables in the room. The first was parked out of the way, up against the wall beside Neil's nightstand. It had Neil's breakfast on top and two grass-green pills beside a glass of water, which she recognized as hangover medication.

The second table was pushed into the northwest corner of the room. It was laden with multiple history texts and Princess biographies.

'Open box in case of an Adorable Emergency!'

She failed to stifle a giggle as the random thought, coloured with Pinkie's energetic voice, popped into her mind and drew her back to the cuddle pile. She didn't know how a party pony like Pinkie, or any party pony, could predict such an event? Nor did she ever want to know, lest she lose one of life's few remaining joyous mysteries.

Heeding the thought's advice, she slipped the lid off the box with a few deft feathers to reveal... a journalist's camera stored and ready to use. She quickly fished out the compact device and positioned it in front of her muzzle with her wings. She wasn't an expert by any means regarding new technology. That was usually relegated to scholars, court mages, and Twilight. 

However, over the years, she'd seen hundreds, if not thousands, of reporters using this style of camera. She quickly emulated their movements and captured the whole scene in the frame of the lens.

Once satisfied, she pressed the red button on top, and a mechanical click sounded a fraction of a second before the flash went off.

Sergeant Calm's back leg jerked, but none of the stallions noticed the bright flash. It was tempting to take a second and a third photo at different angles just to cement this adorable moment for her personal photo book(and Pinkie's, once Neil went public as an Alicorn). But, she also didn't want to abuse his privacy too much, so the camera returned to its box with the lid on top.

Now came the part she disliked, reprimanding. Raising her voice to a mild shout, she called out, "Good morning, Gentlestallions!"

Three of the four immediately jolted back to consciousness, but Neil didn't. His response was to give a loud, snort-like snore in defiance of her call as he slept on.

All three guard ponies quickly assessed their situation, and once they spotted her, they acted on their training. Only two ponies managed to hop off the bed and stand at attention in her presence. Sergeant Calm wiggled against Neil's grip and gave up shortly after with a feeble attempt to salute instead.

"Now that three of you are awake, good morning, my little ponies. If I recall correctly, Sergeant Calm Water and Corporal Squall Rider are off duty for today," She offered, looking at the two brothers before focusing on Calm, "So you have no need to stand at attention."

Celestia watched as two of the three awake stallions dropped their stance immediately. Neil must have also felt Calm relax in his sleep because he unconsciously pulled the blue unicorn into his chest fluff. 

Sergeant Calm opted to go with the flow and snuggled into Neil's chest, which was adorable in its own right. She was so very tempted to take out the camera once more. But she couldn't. She still had to address the remaining stallion, currently awake and at attention, with a perfectly good clock on the wall behind him. 

"Private Bulk Order, I dislike doing this, but I have to ask. What time is it?"

"I currently don't know," He stated, his first words allowing his charming country twang to bleed through before correcting himself to Canterlotian, "My apologies, Princess."

"Apology accepted. However, despite how admirable it was to cover Neil's flank from prying eyes in his sleep," She started, noting how his thigh covered his groin from view at this angle. However, two steps to the right would allow her to see how well he stacked up to or exceeded other stallions if she were so inclined. But she didn't. Multiple nurse reports revealed that mares staring at that specific area of his anatomy triggered an adverse reaction for unknown but likely cultural reasons. That was the hope, at least. "I still expect you to report at the proper time for your shift. Sergeant Sight was forced to cover for you while you overslept."

"My apologies, Princess, it won't happen again." He stated with conviction.

"As much as I believe your word, I have doubts." She admitted, looking directly at Neil. "However, I do not blame you, not really at least. Judging by the bill I received this morning, Neil enjoyed himself last night. All I need to know is, did it help him, and should this become a regular occurrence?"

"Permission to speak freely, Princess?" He asked, to which she gave him a nod. "It, uh, took a while, but Neil eventually told us some stuff. It doesn' feel right sharin', though, since it's private. Just, uh, know that he drank a lot."

Squall chose that moment to add his own two bits while watching his brother's situation with a grin. "If any other stallion drank that much, I'd say they have a bit of a problem, Princess."

"Good to know. I do not wish to jeopardize your friendships everypony. If the trip to the bar helped, it helped, despite all of the bits spent." She informed all three stallions before turning to Bulk with a warm smile. "Now, I believe you should make yourself presentable for the rest of your shift, Private Bulk."

Understanding his dismissal, Private Bulk saluted, a gesture she gladly returned. He quickly left the room after that, and she wouldn't be surprised if he was already guarding the door once she left the room.

Once the swinging door stopped, she addressed the remaining two guard stallions. "Calm Water, Squall Rider. Neither of you are required to stay while I talk with Neil. But if you do, I would like to offer you both an opportunity afterwards."

"Well, Calm's stuck," Corporal Squall joked while sticking out his tongue at the elder sibling. "So I guess we're staying Princess."

Celestia was about to say something else but held herself as Neil started to shift. At first, it was a simple wing flutter, followed by a long stretch of his back legs, and finally, a not-so-subtle nuzzle into Calm's mane... "Abby, your hair smells... different?" He mumbled. A second later, the Alicorn took a long, audible sniff, then sneezed, bringing himself another step closer to consciousness.

Even with the mention of an unknown mare named Abby, Neil's unconscious actions were adorably cute as she watched the full-grown stallion act like a sleeping colt. Calm's reactions only enhanced the picture, but after Neil's sneeze, she took pity on the blue unicorn.

Magic swelled around her horn and the smaller stallion at the same time. She fully enshrouded Calm in her magic before releasing it all in a single short-range blink. In a dazzling flash, Calm found himself standing beside his brother, who couldn't hold in his mirth any longer and laughed.

It was likely a combination of the flash, Squall Rider's laughter, and the loss of his cuddle partner that finally dragged Neil into the waking light. And a likely hangover, judging by his pained groan soon after. 

Neil's now free hoof immediately went to his forehead as he attempted to open his eyes. "Who fucked with my head?"

"I believe that would be the excessive amount of alcohol you drank last night, Neil." She informed him with her best bedside manners.

He paused, then attempted to open a single eye this time. He failed to keep it open for long, but in the few seconds he held it open, he focused entirely on her. She could even tell the moment he recognized her from the dilation of his pupil only a fraction of a second before he closed his eye again.

She couldn't understand why, but his first reaction to her presence was always one of fear, and today was no different as he hastily rolled onto his belly. That wasn't his only sign of alarm, as his ears folded towards the base of his skull. Even his wings joined the display for the first time as they flared out to cover his entire back half.

"What are you doing in my room Celestia?" He asked, both clearly in pain and without patience this morning as his hoof lightly massaged one eye, then the other. 

"While I would like to say I came for a social visit, the truth is I'm also here on business. I have a few things to give you, Neil, starting with these," She told him as her wing unfurled, holding Blueblood's invitation and the bill between separate pinion feathers.

It took Neil a few seconds longer to open his eyes and keep them open in the brightly lit room. But once he was able, a tempestuous wing shot out and grabbed them both from her feathers. She was mildly impressed by how far his wing training had advanced. However, the effect of his emotions on that control was just as disconcerting.

Neil quickly looked at the invitation and just as quickly flung it onto the bed in favour of the bill. He used both wings to straighten out the slim piece of paper and started reading each item down the list. 

"Before you ask, you have no need to worry about the bill. The Brass Bells has already been paid through my personal account."

Despite his hangover, he still had the mental faculties to read and ask questions simultaneously, "And that means what, exactly? That I owe you money now?"

"No, you don't owe me a single bit. In truth, the Brass Bells is a place for guard stallions to relax away from the hustle and bustle of the castle, the staff, and most importantly, myself. Even I'm not allowed to enter the Brass Bells without an invite." She explained before catching Squall Rider's eyes light up at her last words. Knowing precisely what he was planning to do, she continued, "And if I was offered an invite, I would probably decline to respect the privacy of my guards."

As Neil reached the end of the bill, he fed the paper through his feathers until he reached both ends, then folded the entire thing in half, twice. He made the bill's length much more manageable as he placed it on the nightstand while revealing his dexterity, which was impressive for a former Earth Pony. "And the point?"

"The point is that I am unable to spend my money there, normally." She said softly, spelling out the point for him. "I enjoy the fact that you can spend it for me and support my retired guards through your patronage."

"... Does that mean I can leave the castle and go drinking now?" He asked calmly after a pause, though his perky ears betrayed the hope behind his request.

A request she was more than willing to give, within reason. "I could be persuaded to allow you out of the castle if you take some friends with you and drink responsibly."

It would have been mildly comical, watching his ears go up then down if he were an average pony. Instead, a small well of melancholy settled in her chest as his ears angled back aggressively. To think such small concessions brought up his guard once more...

After allowing him time to think in silence, his eyes eventually narrowed with determination as he answered, "Fine. Do I just tell you when I'm leaving? Or do I have to schedule that in advance as well?"

"A few hours in advance should be plenty of time to assign a proper guard detail." She informed him, focusing on his eyes and ears as he considered her offer.

"Fine," He eventually conceded before pushing on. "Is there anything else?"

"Two quick things, and then I'll leave so you can enjoy your breakfast and get ready for the day. First, your invitation," She told him, pointing the tip of her wing at the envelope.

Neil didn't even look at it as he answered. "I'm not going to join you for a luncheon."

"I regret to say I'm busy with Court during lunch today, so I'll be unable to attend. That is an invitation from Prince Blueblood, my nephew. You can tell by the compass insignia pressed into the blue wax seal." She hoped that her lack of attendance might have sparked an interest. Instead, mentioning her nephew's royal title raised his eyebrows with curiosity.

"Prince Blueblood?" He asked immediately, "You mean there's another Alicorn stallion?"

"Prince Blueblood is a unicorn," She corrected him, though she didn't want to put out his spark of hope. "Though he dearly wishes to ascend into the form of an Alicorn one day. To be precise, he is the direct descendant of Princess Platinum, the last ruler of Unicornia." 

"So he's a prince of an old, frozen-over kingdom," Neil groused. "Why does he want to meet with me?"

"I have no idea. However, if I were to guess, my Nephew is excited to meet another stallion. Being the lone prince surrounded by princesses can be quite tiring for him at times," She concluded, not knowing exactly why her nephew offered Neil an invitation.

Intentionally or not, her answer seemed funny enough to earn a snort of laughter from Squall Rider. This earned him a look from everypony in the room, and the pegasus bashfully looked aside after meeting her eyes.

Still, Squall's levity did the trick since Neil gave the envelope a second, more inquisitive look.

"And the last thing?" Neil asked bluntly.

She pointed to the table beside his nightstand. "If you look over to your breakfast, you'll see two green pills. Once you take them, they should clear up your hangover in five to ten minutes."

He didn't look, but she caught his right eye twitch once before his eyes hardened. Slowly, he turned to face Squall and Calm before asking. "Is she telling the truth?"

Squall Rider was quick to jump to her defence. "Of course the Princess is telling the truth. I've got a bottle of 'em at home, so I recognized them when I woke up."

"He needs them at least once a week as well," Calm added, earning a small whap to his side from his brother's wing.

"Okay," Was all he offered for their assistance before returning to her. "And since that was the last thing, you're done now?"

"I believe that was everything I needed to cover," She admitted before giving him one last chance to express some of his grievances, "Unless you have something you wish to tell me?"

"Nope," Was all he said to her before turning to Squall and Calm. "I'll ask Bulk to send a message the next time I go out drinking unless you send a message to me first."

It looked like Squall was going to answer, but Calm beat him to the kick. "We'll work something out. Until then, we should leave and let you have your breakfast, in peace," He said, that last part clearly directed at his younger brother.

"Yeah, see ya later Neil!" Was Squall's parting words as they both started walking towards the exit.

Celestia had a feeling her farewell wasn't going to be reciprocated. However, it was still the polite thing to do, "I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, Neil."

He remained silent as she exited the room.

Once outside, she noted three guards standing in full armour outside Neil's door. Two of them quickly fell into place by her side, leaving Private Bulk standing at attention in front of the door. 

She gave the pegasus a quick but courteous nod and a polite smile. Afterwards, she turned and walked towards Sergeant Calm and Corporal Squall, basking in the sun pouring through the closest window. Once within five feet of the whispering duo, their conversation paused as they looked at her. Calm was exactly as his name implied, whereas Squall was curious. 

"Gentlestallions, about that opportunity I mentioned..."


~~~***~~~


Neil watched and waited for the door to close as it swung back and forth. Each apex of the door's swing felt it was in sync with the throbbing pain originating from the inside of his skull. However, the moment it fully came to rest was when he allowed his anger and frustration to vent into the empty air.

"God damned Celestia..." He growled under his breath as he hopped off his bed and closed the small distance between himself and the table holding his breakfast. "Of course, she leaves the fucking hangover meds until last. Probably did it intentionally, too."

After all, any politician would love to catch their opponent on a bad day. Without thought, he clamped down on the two green pills with his lips, twisted his head back, and released his hold, allowing gravity to do the rest. A few gulps of water afterwards, and Neil looked at the clock.

Five to ten minutes from now... He would have preferred Bulk to be there and confirm what they were, but he didn't really believe the pills were some sort of poison. Celestia had a week so far to slip something into his food if she really wanted him dead. On the plus side, if this did kill him, at least he'd never have to suffer any more hangovers.

With his fate sealed, one way or the other, he turned to the large salad bowl on his table. Today's breakfast appeared to be porridge, but this time, it was coloured a light shade of purple-blue, which sparked a touch of curiosity within him. 

He gave the mixture a small sniff and pinpointed a berry-like sweetness to it. Almost like a pie, though he couldn't say exactly which kind. In the end, he hopefully settled on blueberry, hooked his nose under the table, and dragged it to his bed.

It wasn't blueberry, though the taste was still exquisite like most pony food. Neil took his sweet time to savour the meal. Not to say that he was lax, however, as he also took the opportunity to practice his fine wing control. He fed himself with his right wing, but at the same time, his left wing was stretched over the bed as he slowly went over the only simple pen trick he knew with a fork.

His han- wing-eye coordination was far from perfect since he dropped the fork multiple times. It still amazed him how flexible his feathers could be. When dormant, they were just regular straight feathers. However, bending them in such a way should have snapped the shaft. 

But, it didn't. In fact, he may have been a bit too focused on possible evolutionary paths to allow such movement, without magic, that it caught him by surprise when his spoon came up empty. He promptly fumbled his form and dropped the fork. Again.

Pausing his wing training for the moment, he looked to see the entire salad bowl was more or less empty. As well, though he could still feel and hear the blood rushing along his ears, the thrumming pain he associated with it was also gone. A quick glance at the clock revealed less than ten minutes had passed.

With breakfast now finished, Neil's thoughts shifted towards his daily obligations. He was getting sick with his current path of nonstop research. It was always either a book so dry that simply dropping it would make the tome crumble into dust, or it was written as a whimsical, happy-go-lucky fairy tale. So far, any books he found with a rock-solid, professional foundation were scarce.

He also had the threat of training hanging over his head if Rainbow came through on her promise from yesterday. However, she didn't specify a time or place, giving him a little wiggle room to sneak out of her training regime if he wasn't in his room. Whether or not she searched the entire castle for him, he placed the odds at 50/50.

Which finally brought him to the gaudy-looking envelope lying on his bed. Celestia had painted her nephew as a lonely stallion looking for another peer willing to complain about the Princesses. But something about Squall's reaction painted a different story. One that he couldn't quite figure out.

Picking up the fork with his right wing and the letter with his left, he pried the wax seal loose with the silverware. He momentarily pictured a vaguely blue, pompous-looking stallion decrying his lack of decorum and proper respect with such an act, which earned a snort. 

If Blueblood was an elitist bastard like he imagined, he'd just walk out immediately.

After placing the fork on the table, he pulled out the invitation which was little more than a card. The entire cover of the card was taken up by an embossed image of a gender-less unicorn rearing up on its hind legs. The style reminded him of a flag image or maybe a British family crest. Either way, the crest was unique because the unicorn was encircled by jewels and medieval weaponry, hearkening back to when the three tribes were more warlike when dealing with each other.

Flipping the cover open, Neil was half expecting something as fancy as the cover. Instead, he was greeted with simple but illustrious hoof? writing, written in excessively loopy unified script:

Salutations Neil,
It is with great pleasure that I, Prince Blueblood Platinum, Direct Descendant of the Platinum Line, Heir to the Throne of Unicornia, and Equestria's Unrivalled Arbiter of Aristocratic Excellence and Peerless Prowess, do request the pleasure of your company at our esteemed and private luncheon on this day, the twenty-second of October, the year of our Princesses 1001.

The guard stallion assigned to your personal service should know the way to my private dining hall. If not, reveal this invitation to the nearest castle staff and request their assistance.

In the bottom right corner sat a detailed blue ink stamp that looked like another compass, almost identical to the compass in the wax seal. 

Neil flipped the card closed. Whatever grand impression this Blueblood was trying to make, he failed. Aristocratic Excellence and Peerless Prowess sounded like an elitist asshole to him, though more of the posh, British variety. On the other hand, this was an otherwise unknown royal who might give Neil some insight into the Princesses. And he could avoid the torture of his upcoming flight training.

With a relieved groan, Neil stood up on his bed and took the time to stretch out his limbs and work out any remaining kinks in his muscles. After that, he hopped off and made his way towards the door.

If he was going to act stupid and attend this lavish luncheon, he needed a second opinion. And the only opinion he remotely trusted in that fashion was Bulk's if the stallion was at the door like he was supposed to be. His memory was hazy after a certain point. Still, a glimpse here and there showed the pine-coloured pegasus had been just as tipsy as he was later on in the night... Or was that Squall?


~~~


When it was time to leave, Neil had the inclination to believe that the private dining hall had meant another room set aside within the palace. Perhaps a space just as grand as Celestia's but not nearly opulent enough to upstage the princess. That assumption started to crack when, instead of taking him over the skinny bridge directly connected to the palace, Bulk escorted him through the ground floor entrance hall of the infirmary wing.

From there, Neil followed as Bulk matched his speed with all the other guards patrolling the grounds at a sedate pace. When confronted with the same fork in the path from the day before, Bulk opted to go with the other option, which slowly expanded into the main walkway alongside the palace.

He didn't mind the warmth of the daytime sun heating up his cloak and, by proxy, his back. Or the gentle fall breeze that kept him relatively cool everywhere else. But the constant shimmer of gold from all directions was another reminder of how trapped he was inside the castle.

He was almost looking forward to entering the palace, even if that meant walking through the main entrance. 

Then again, as they neared the grounds before the large double doors, he spotted a small quartet of fancy-looking, well-dressed mares. It was clear they spotted him and Bulk when they walked through the gate and when the first mare gestured with her muzzle after speaking, drawing the attention of the other three. However, the four mares were polite enough to wait for him to be a certain distance away before fluttering their eyelashes enticingly.

For the second time that day, Neil tried not to think about the swooping, voluminous curls that Bulk had given him when the pegasus offered simple styling with his mane and tail.

Sadly, he might also have to deal with the group since their speed increased to intercept him and Bulk as they entered through the main doors. 

This was when his assumption about the luncheon was proven wrong for the second time, as Bulk walked by the large doors without a glance. Neil looked at the open doors and the inviting interior just beyond before mentally shrugging. He was slightly tempted to look back as well, just to see whether or not the mares were put out or perturbed at their missed opportunity, but opted not to.

Putting the group of mares aside, this turn of events also left him in the dark. Where else would they go for this luncheon if not the main palace? Taking stock of their current trajectory, the path continued onward, following the wall of the palace until it curved to the right. 

At that point, the path branched off in two different directions, though both stayed the same width which was odd. The right branch curled around the wall, and disappeared. By what Neil knew of the grounds, he was sure that path would eventually lead to the training grounds? 

The other branch continued straight at first, but it slowly curved to the left in the distance and vanished into a copse of short-looking oak trees. Above which, he could see a vast, low-sloped manor house roof, far larger than the manors constructed just beyond the castle gates.

Neil allowed the silence to last another minute between them as he listened for anyone following closely behind them. Once he was almost sure the mares hadn't followed, he gave a surreptitious glance back to confirm they were relatively alone when he asked, "Where exactly are we going?"

In response, one of Bulk's wings quickly unfolded and pointed to the mansion enshrouded in trees. "The building over there is the ancestral home'a the Platinum line, called The Platinum Estate."

Meaning they were almost there as the castle wall vanished from his peripheral vision, and they transitioned onto the left branch of the cobblestone path.

For curiosity's sake and his mental map of the grounds, Neil looked to his right. In the distance, jutting out of the palace wall, was Celestia's large balcony leading off the throne room. Below that was the decorative wall encircling the training grounds. He couldn't see them, but he knew just beyond that was the hedge maze. 

The estate he was just about to visit was the only missing piece to his mental map if he also discounted the multiple buildings he'd seen built into the wall, similar to the guard barracks.

It wasn't long before they breached the treeline and slipped onto the naturally shaded estate. Looking around, the trees were thick and healthy, and the leaves were still a vibrant green even with the slight autumn chill. It appeared, at first, as if he immediately transitioned into a forest. 

But, the longer he looked, the immaculate, almost manicured appearance of the trees and the perfectly positioned bushes revealed it to be little more than a facade. A show of wealth to put on for guests and hide the upcoming eight-foot tall perimeter wall and the polished golden gates, which were conveniently left open.

After passing through the two-foot thick marble wall, they passed another ten or so trees before the forest abruptly stopped, revealing a relatively large clearing mostly taken up by a majestic, ancient-looking medieval-styled stonework manor that could have been ripped straight out of Britain.

Neil's eyes danced across the large structure, hopping from one oak-framed window embedded into the stone to the next. Eventually, however, he settled upon the entryway, which had one of the two large doors open.

Standing in the doorway, dressed in what appeared to be a pony version of a cyan ball gown, was a mare that struck him as vaguely familiar. Though he couldn't remember off the top of his head seeing a mare with that particular shade of pale pink fur. The styled blue mane with a pale pink horn poking out of it hinted at a memory. Still, it was when he locked onto her sunny yellow eyes, no longer full of shock, that he remembered.

She was the maid from the day Celestia captured him. A small bubble of stress popped as relief spread through his chest. It was good to see nothing terrible had happened to the poor maid, though he was a little confused about why she was here. If she was here as a maid, wouldn't she be required to be in uniform? Or did the prince require a more lavish dress code?

At the very least, he was thankful that the ball gown covered her entire rear end. There wouldn't be any accidental flashes today if the whole staff was dressed like that.

"Good morning to you both!" She greeted as they reached the small stairway leading up to the doors. "I'm Dainty Doily, and I'll be escorting you to the dining hall today. Do you have your invitation, Sir Neil?"

He did, and the envelope that held it was currently stored underneath his right wing. However, instead of traversing the stairway immediately, Neil casually glanced to his left to gauge Bulk's reaction.

The pegasus guard was as stoic as all the other guards they had passed on the way here, without any hint that something was off. 

That was good enough for Neil as he looked to Dainty again and ascended the steps. He was still wary, however, as he reached the top. The mare in front of him had not only been informed about him as part of the castle staff but also saw him without a cloak that day. Still, he was worried about being seen by a stray pegasus flying overhead or something else while he was in public.

Once he was within reach of the door, his wing ruffled about underneath his cloak, causing multiple small tremors in the fabric until he managed to pinch the envelope between his two largest primary feathers. After that, he pushed half of it out from under his cloak, ready for Dainty to take with her telekinesis.

It took a few seconds for her to clue in. Still, the moment she did, the envelope was surrounded by her tingly, sunny yellow aura as it brushed aside his feathers and created a buffer against his chest. Without further delay, it zipped the short distance between him and Dainty.

She quickly extracted his invitation and gave the front only a second long glance before nodding to herself. "Thank you, and welcome to The Platinum Estate," She curtsied and stepped aside simultaneously. Allowing him more than enough room to step inside. "Prince Blueblood has been eagerly awaiting this meeting with you and was quite pleased to find a space this early in his schedule."

Neil slowly entered the grand hall as she spoke, with Bulk behind him. Looking around, he didn't know what to focus on first. 

For the first time, his hooves stepped on a well-polished, but not at all slippery wooden floor. At a glance, he guessed it was oak, maybe even from the same trees planted outside, but he couldn't be sure. Also, unlike a human-made floor, there weren't any gaps or seams that he could spot. It was like the floor was one giant slab of wood, including the knots and other imperfections that added character.

The first three feet of each wall, which wasn't covered by fancy hand (hoof?) crafted wood furniture, was clearly built up from the same stonework that covered the outside. It may also be connected to the foundation itself. After that, however, the stone somehow melded smoothly into rich, dark-stained oak panelling that reached all the way to the ceiling. 

From which hung a large, circular crystal chandelier. It held a significant spherical light source in the centre through unknown means, which filtered through each crystal, creating a dazzling display while evenly distributing plenty of light to show off all the life-sized portraits hung tastefully on the walls and the rest of the room.

Everything screamed old wealth and rich character, but in a distinct way, far different from the castle that Neil couldn't quite comprehend. He took notes on the off chance he ever won the jackpot if- when he got back home.

Pulling his eyes away from the grand display, he settled once more on Dainty, who waited patiently with a cheerful, almost proud smile on her muzzle. "If you would kindly follow me, the dining room is just over this way."

She deftly spun in place, lifting the skirt of her dress an inch or two off the ground before she came to a stop facing the far right corner of the room. Neil followed her gaze, and nestled near the corner was a particular pair of carved doors depicting a feast between a pair of unicorns and, judging by the beak-like faces, a pair of griffons. When her dress ruffles settled back down, she hopped off, lazily trotting in that direction.

Neil followed since he had nothing else to do, though it was a short distance to cover. Once they reached the doors, her yellow aura spiralled along one of the door handles until it was covered entirely, and she silently opened it up for him.

At the same time, Bulk decided that was as far as he would go and automatically posted himself at attention in front of the door frame, just on the other side of Dainty. 

"Uh, Bulk, what are you doing?" Neil asked, not at all expecting this particular turn of events.

"I'm standing guard, as I'm trained to do." He answered in his Canterlotian accent while his eyes glanced to Dainty.

... Which made absolutely no sense. Bulk acted like himself in front of other maids and guards, so what was the difference now? Something didn't sit right with the situation, but he was too deep now. "Dainty, would it be okay if Bulk joined us for lunch?"

He was initially met with a look of confusion before her eyes brightened, and her smile returned bigger than ever. 

"Of course, he can! I'm sure Blue- Prince Blueblood wouldn't mind hosting a plus one. Come on in, both of you," She offered as she opened the second door with her aura and briskly trotted in.

The first thing Neil noticed as he entered was that the wood panelling did not transfer into the dining area. No, the primary material used in the design of this large, open room was stone, stone, and more stone. Even the arched ceiling, which looked far too tall compared to what he saw on the outside, was made entirely of the greyish-blue slate. The floor was still wood, at least, this time stained a reddish hue.

A pair of long tables ran along the east and west walls, both of which were at least thirty feet long and covered by a white and red patterned tablecloth. Each seating position was already prepared with the finest-looking silverware and dinnerware Neil had ever seen. Even the plates looked to be made of purple and pink crystal, which perfectly matched the glasses. It all looked odd to Neil, but he still assumed they were worth a small fortune combined.

At the far end of the room was a smaller but even more lavish-looking table set perpendicular to the other two, creating a stretched 'C' shape. It was covered with a royal blue tablecloth and loaded from end to end with multiple dishes. Some Neil recognized, like the cheese wedges set aside on their platters. Still, he had no clue about the rest other than that they appeared vegetarian.

Dainty stopped near the blue table, just to the left of the lone, unclaimed seating position he could see that had been set on that side of the table. She quickly and efficiently transferred one of the chairs from the red and white table to her left and the entire placement to the blue table.

Neil was mildly impressed as he watched her work, as he slowly closed the distance with Bulk behind him. After she was done, instead of trotting off to the kitchen like a servant, Doily pranced around the table and sat down, joining the other three ponies on the other side.

Judging by his squared chin, the pony she sat beside was the only stallion at the table. He was a unicorn with a pure white coat and a golden brown mane. His attire was a simple tux collar but with a blue bow tie that matched the tablecloth. This, Neil presumed, was Prince Blueblood.

Seated next to him was an Earth Pony mare with a puffy, eye-catching two-tone pink mane. From what he could see, she wore a purple dress, which did nothing to hide her eggshell white coat that matched Blueblood's almost perfectly. The thought that they might be siblings popped into Neil's mind for a moment. Even their eye colours were similar shades of blue, though her eyes were a darker sky blue. 

Last but certainly not least was the most imposing of the ponies there. Her greyish-white form was draped in a golden dress that matched Bulk's armour perfectly. But that wasn't enough to hide how stiffly the unicorn sat, similar to how Bulk usually stood at attention. 

The way her amethyst eyes, framed with war-god red locks of hair, stared at him also cemented his idea that she was a guard. It felt like she was studying him for weaknesses, something he didn't care for.

"Welcome, Sir Neil. Please have a seat," The stallion offered boisterously once Neil was close enough. "My wife, Apple Frosting, decided to pull out all the stops and cooked up a feast for us to enjoy." He all but bragged while gesturing to the white and pink mare beside him.

"It was nothin'," She shot back while blushing, the barest hints of a Southern accent still clinging to her voice.

"If this is nothing, then I fear to see what the kitchen would look like after you put some effort in Honey Apple," He teased, giving the mare a quick peck on the cheek.

That was the wrong thing for the prince to do, as the guard mare who had been watching him the entire time cleared her throat authoritatively.

"Ah, right, introductions first. But before that, please sit, both of you," Blueblood quickly gestured to the two chairs closest to Neil and Bulk.

A little confused, Neil gave Bulk a mental apology and extended his wing out of his cloak towards the chair across from Dainty. This left the original chair, the closest to the guard mare, for his pegasus guard.

Once they were both seated, Blueblood continued. "Now that we are all seated, I want to introduce you to my herd. On my right is Dainty Doily, one of the brightest maids, if not the brightest, in the entire castle. You've briefly met before, from what I've heard." He said, gesturing to the lightly blushing maid, who gave Neil a slight nod.

"It's good to see you doing better than how you were feeling that day." She added.

After a second, Blueblood continued. "On my left is Apple Frosting, my favourite patissier in the castle, who also sneaks me my favourite snacks out of the castle." 

"He means a pastry chef," Apple Frosting quickly corrected him before correcting him with too much information. "And ye know darned well my plot doesn't count as a snack. It's a full-on experience, Bluey."

That brought a hint of rose to Blueblood's cheeks, but otherwise, he continued on as if his wife hadn't just dropped some bedroom topics. "And sitting near the end is Major Crystal Shield, my final wife and one of the best guards in all of Canterlot, in my personal opinion."

"For an Alicorn vexing the Captain, I was expecting... more," She stated while giving him a small, polite nod.

A small silence fell over the table after that as Neil looked at each pony across the table. He didn't know exactly what was happening, except that Blueblood was looking at him expectantly. Was he supposed to introduce himself? They already knew his name and what he was, so what was the point? 

Mentally shrugging, he went along with it anyway. "As you know, I'm Neil. To my right is Bulk. I'm going to be blunt with you. I have no idea why I'm here or why you invited me."

If Blueblood took any offence to his bluntness, the stallion didn't show it at all as he answered. "To be candid, this is a celebration in your honour, Sir Neil. After all, you're an Alicorn. Not only that, you're the first male Alicorn. It's been years since I've been this excited, and it's all thanks to you!"

Brushing aside all the bullshit about what he was and how that somehow earned this stallion's adoration, Neil opted to focus on the last part. "What do you mean by, all thanks to me?"

"Why, passing on my title, of course!" The Prince stated with unbridled excitement. "It's been my burden and a burden on my herd for years. But now you're here! Please, let's all dish up. While we talk about the fine details, there's plenty of food to enjoy."

In that regard, he was absolutely correct. At least fifteen different dishes were set across the table, and that wasn't counting the side dishes. Of which, he could only name a few, like the standalone wedge of gouda or the spaghetti dish with what appeared to be some sort of white cheese sauce and herbs. In fact, whether pasta, salad or something else, it seemed as if the common theme among the dishes was cheese...

Apple Frosting must have guessed his thoughts because she piped up while dishing her plate. "When ye work in the kitchens, ye tend to hear certain things. Fer example, a new Alicorn showing up outa the blue with a taste for cheese pastas?" She paused long enough to give him a teasing grin before filling up the rest of her plate. 

"So when I heard ol' Bluey here invited ye for vittles, well, my specialty may be desserts, but I think you'll find everythin' here to yer likin', includin' this."

She then took a spatula to what he initially thought was a vegetarian lasagne baked in a dark purple crystalline casserole pan. After carving out a decent-sized chunk, she lifted it up to reveal a baked macaroni and cheese, almost exactly like he requested that first night he ate with Celestia.

... Neil may have only eaten a few hours ago, but his stomach vetoed the thought of a light meal right then and there with a deep, rumbling growl.

This earned a chuckle from Apple Frosting, "Well, at least one of ye appreciates my cooking," She joked as she sat down with a full plate.

She wasn't the only one. A quick glance revealed that Neil was the only one without an ounce of food on his plate. Even Bulk had started now that most of the mares, the Major included, had finished dishing themselves up. He seemed to be holding his plate with his hooves while his wings used spatulas, spoons, and knives to portion out his plate.

Neil didn't think his wings were that dexterous yet, and he still hadn't unlocked the magnetic properties of his hooves, so he knew that was out. But as he thought up a possible solution, the entire edge of his plate was suddenly surrounded by a yellow aura.

"I can dish up your plate for you if you like?" Dainty offered as his plate levitated a few inches above the table. "Just point out what you would like to try."

Somewhat reluctantly, Neil pointed out three of the main dishes at first. The baked macaroni, which felt like Apple had made specifically for him, was the first thing added to his plate. After that, he chose the spaghetti dish and ended with a salad resembling a Caesar and taco salad hybrid for the main dishes. With only a tiny sliver left on his plate, he then pointed a hoof towards the one cheese he recognized.

"An excellent choice, if I do say so myself." Blueblood chipped in uninvited. "That particular cheese was made in Minos at one of their oldest and most respectable creameries. The current Minotauren ambassador's brother works there, and brought it as a personal gift to myself after years of working together to better our two nations."

Blueblood wasn't done after that miniature monologue, as he quickly pointed out a second wedge of white, somewhat flaky-looking cheese. "But don't let that deter you from some of Equestria's finest cheeses. That is a cloth cheddar made specifically in Trottingham and one of my favourites. Though I must admit, the crown for my absolute favourite has to go to Prance for their most delectable brie," He finished, pointing out a third wedge that looked like a bunch of poutine cheese curds that were compressed together (but just starting to come apart along the outer edge).

Unfortunately, with the addition of the gouda to his plate, it was already full. But Neil made a note to try them both on his next plate. If he was allowed to stick around for a second plate, as Dainty gently placed it down in front of him. 

Neil gave her an appreciative nod, "Thank you," To which she offered a happy, "You're welcome!" He extended his wings to take up a fork and a knife, which were probably the wrong choices for these types of food.

Before he dug in, though, he turned to Blueblood. "I still don't get why you invited me to this celebration of yours. I'm going to be blunt right now. Like hell am I going to take your title of Prince. I don't want it, and I don't need it."

The sound of cutlery scraping against plates and the small talk between Apple Frosting and Major Crystal Shield ceased. Every single pony in the room looked at him, and silence reigned supreme for an entire second... Before Blueblood let out an oddly girlish giggle, which evolved into outright laughter.

"Oh, my-. You think-," He managed to say, in-between gasps of breath. Apple Frosting also joined the scene, chuckling as she watched Blueblood's inability to control himself.

Dainty continued eating but seemed to lighten up even more from the nearby source of laughter.

Bulk and Crystal took the opposite approach, hiding their emotions behind their professional, if passive, guard masks.

This went on for a good minute or two before Blueblood finally managed to calm himself down. "Oh my, I haven't laughed like that in ages," He confessed, grabbing a napkin in his baby blue aura and dabbing at the corners of his eyes. 

"Ages ye say?" Apple Frosting asked, a teasing glint in her eyes as she zoned in on Blueblood. "I seem to remember a little feather of ours that had you'n Crystal laughing uncontrollably just a week ago."

That slight hint of rose already gracing his cheeks from his indecent display of boisterous laughter fully blossomed into a blush at her suggestive reminder, all but confirming the indecent meaning behind the message. Neil had just enough time to also confirm the faintest blush on Major Crystal's cheeks before Blueblood continued with a slightly more serious tone.

"Yes, well... Sir Neil, even if I wanted to pass on my title of Prince to you, I can only pass my crown down to my eldest unicorn colt by ancient law. Or, if I were to sire only fillies, my eldest unicorn daughter," He corrected a touch condescendingly. 

"The title I'm referring to isn't official by any means, but it's a title I've won year after year in service to my dear Auntie Celestia. In my wild youth, I dare say it served me quite well," He admitted with a smile that hinted at many fond memories as he shared a look between all of his herd-mares? Herd-Mates? Wives? 

"But now, with a loving herd, it has become rather cumbersome at times, I must admit. Of course, I'm talking about the Most Eligible Bachelor in All of Equestria award."

Neil had been expecting something profound. Something life-altering. Something that he would have to deny outright, in no uncertain terms that would likely sour his reputation for all the ponies in the room, except perhaps for Bulks. And then Blueblood revealed this entire celebration was about some stupid bachelor award? 

Neil's mind experienced a disconnect as he tried to process that tidbit of information as if his operating system suffered from a momentary freeze.

Which allowed Blueblood to continue on, "You being an Alicorn, of course, would make you a shoo-in for the award even with your... less than appealing colouration."

"That ain't fair, and you know it," Bulk jumped into the conversation between bites, to defend him. "Neil didn' choose to be born with those colors, just like the rest'a us."

"I know, and I don't mean to blame the poor colt. But to be born with such dreary monochrome colours..."

"Blueblood, Dear," Dainty chirped sweetly, "You're voicing your inner opinions out in the open again."

"Oh, right, sorry, Neil. But I'm just trying to say a streak of navy blue dye in your mane and tail would help out so much, given," He gestured with a hoof in Neil's general direction.

"Wait, are you saying I'm ugly?" Neil asked, somewhat shocked at the accusation. The amount of side-eyes and blatant amorous stares he received from some of the mares on staff alone had hinted otherwise, let alone the few looks he received from upper-class mares. 

"Oh, Celestia, no! You're an Alicorn. Your build is the pinnacle of physical beauty for a stallion. I daresay, even Crystal was quick to comment about your horn length and wingspan when she finished her shift yesterday," He added, shooting a quick, teasing side eye to the guardsmare, who remained impassive while eating. "Only your stamina needs some work, which is odd given you ascended as an Earth Pony, correct?"

Neil quirked an eyebrow at that tidbit. There were a lot of guards yesterday, and most of them were in armour. But he couldn't remember too many mares working at the same time he was. 

"Yeah, but which is it?" He answered before switching away from the topic of his ascension. Besides, a small, vain part of him was curious whether he was ugly or not. "Am I ugly or good-looking?"

"Bright colours that compliment one another are the pinnacle of visual beauty, with the only exception to the rule being white for obvious reasons," He stated imperiously before pointing at a portrait of Celestia on the wall. "While black and all shades of grey tend to be seen as darker thanks to the likes of Sombra and other villains throughout history."

Which evoked a certain male stereotype in his mind. Greasers, bikers, and a few other fictional characters popped into his mind before shifting toward real-life examples like Paul and other womanizing teammates from high school hockey.

"Ye got bad colt vibes comin' out the wazoo," Apple Frosting dropped, voicing his own thoughts for him out loud. "And plenty of rumours runnin' about the kitchen at least to back it up."

Before he could stop it, a single word slipped out that voiced his entire opinion on the matter perfectly. "Fuck."

Blueblood dropped his silverware at Neil's blunt exclamation, looking visibly shocked, though he was the only one. Dainty and Crystal flinched, though the maid's reaction was far more apparent. Bulk seemed to have built up an immunity to his word choice as he ate slowly.

Apple Frosting, however, had the oddest reaction of all as she pointed and laughed, "Hehe, just like that!"

The urge to slam his head into the table was there whether or not he'd get a face full of food, but he resisted. Instead, he tuned out the mare's almost cackling and focused on eating.

Once the prince regained his composure, he took Neil's silence as a hint and gave the Alicorn a momentary reprieve. 

A reprieve that Neil took gratefully since it allowed him time to actually enjoy his meal before him. Apple might have mentioned this wasn't her specialty, but it was just as divine as all the other pony food he tried. 

As the minutes ticked by, one obvious thing about Blueblood was that he constantly engaged others at the table for conversation. He discussed topics with everyone else while leaving Neil alone with his food. When a topic went stale or someone (mainly Bulk) didn't know how to answer, he would deftly switch to something new and engaging. 

Somehow, he was also oblivious to the compliments and mild insults he would throw out to everyone at the table. However, Dainty was there to chime in if something egregious came out.

Even with those faults, the longer the Prince talked, the more he grew on you. Yes, he was snobbish and sounded mildly spoiled. In fact, Neil was positive the prince was spoiled rotten at one point, but Dainty was there to call him out on his bullshit. 

A part of him wondered how long that dynamic had been going on. Overall, Neil rated the prince as chummy, like a drinking buddy, once their filter disappeared. 

Eventually, the topic went back to the bachelor award, which caught Neil's interest.

"... And that's why I remain the Most Eligible Bachelor in Equestria, even though I already have three mares in my herd. It's not common knowledge outside of the castle; otherwise, I would lose standing with the nobility. But, it's a hit to my reputation I'm willing to take. It all depends on the date Neil is willing to reveal himself to the general public."

Neil suddenly found himself the centre of attention again, this time with a mouth full of spaghetti that he quickly swallowed before answering. "I don't."

"Pardon me, but you don't plan on revealing yourself?" Blueblood asked, slightly confused at the idea.

"Nope, I plan to go home and for-" He tried to explain before being cut off.

"Blue," Crystal Shield interrupted, alert as her purple aura turned almost static-like along her horn. "The perimeter wards tripped. We have an-"

She was also interrupted as the entryway to the dining hall slammed open. Standing in the door frame, slightly panting, was a light blue pegasus with a familiar rainbow mane and tail. Neil noted she was without her flight suit today, as her red eyes locked onto him.

"You're late for flight training!" She yelled, her raspy voice echoing throughout the hall.

... It would seem today's torture session was inevitable.
> 7. Dream-Ministrations Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 24th: 8th Day Since Neil's Discovery)

The scene was as she remembered it in modern times. The meticulously crafted stained glass windows were shattered. Cracked and sundered stonework blocks were strewn throughout the hall, accompanied by piles of rubble underneath holes blasted through the walls and ceiling. What few tapestries still hung were torn and riddled with shrapnel holes and burns.

The only significant difference was how new everything appeared. This wasn't the abandoned Castle of the Two Sisters, left to rot for one thousand years from uncontrolled weather. No, this was relatively new. A castle that had been built less than a century into her and Celestia's shared rule. 

This was her home, in all its ruined glory, as Princess Luna stood in the decimated pulpit in front of their shattered thrones. How could she have been so foolish? So shameful as to delve into those spells without thought? To spit on her friendships, as few as they may have been?

Much to her shame, she knew exactly how such an event came to be. It was, after all, the very reason she was here. 

A scene emerged from her distant, murky memories as Nightmare Moon. A stray beam during the confrontation that night from so very long ago, as it missed her Sister. No, it missed her target as it cut through the castle kitchens. At the time, she hadn't spared a second thought. She was too focused on her goal. Her triumph. 

Now, however, she directed her focus on the castle kitchens and one of her friends who always treated her well. Poor, doddering Tea Kettle. The stallion would have been making Celestia's morning tea while mixing her hot chocolate to help her sleep that day...

The casualty report from that night was one of the few papers that Celestia had classified as above even the Princesses, preventing anypony from reading it.

If not for the fact that this was a dream, Luna was reasonably sure she would have broken down. How many ponies had she killed that night? Why wouldn't her sister just tell her?

A tiny, navy blue wisp of distant stars flew up and out of the stonework to her side like an eager puppy. Luna knew exactly what it was and that it was drawn to her anger and self-loathing. A reminder of events yet to play out, as she focused on the dream and the other ponies within.

The Bearers of the Elements of Harmony had already passed the main gate, braved the overgrown courtyard, trampled through the grand entrance, and were making their way through the entry hall. Mere moments from now, they would smash their way into the throne room. 

Knowing this, Luna turned to the wisp with an order. "Greetings, Tantabus; I am ready. Do your worst."

The small spirit of energy known as the Tantabus seemed to undulate with excitement before it dutifully served its mistress and floated above her. It settled in the shattered stained glass window that once depicted the shared unity between her and her sister. It instantly transformed into a dark, spherical crystal large enough to blot out the sun. In a single pulse, it ripped control of the dream from Luna. Day turned into night as the spirit fired multiple beams of darkness into an expectant and unmoving Princess Luna.

The energy seared through her fur and burned her skin as it was absorbed into her body. Even then, she knew what was going to happen. What this power would do to her. This is what she wanted, as the burning sensation seeped into her spine and then raced throughout the rest of her body. The pain was almost overwhelming, but not enough to shatter the dream. It was exactly what she deserved, as tortured cries were ripped from her throat.

Any excess power that couldn't be absorbed soon formed a cocoon of darkness around her, blocking more and more of her vision. However, she just caught sight of a door being kicked off its hinges before she was fully enveloped.

"Princess Luna is turning into Nightmare Moon, again!"

Some aspect of her managed to hear Twilight's cry of despair. By then, the powerful corruption had traveled up her spine and was starting to physically convert aspects of her head. She felt the spiral that was her horn as it forcefully corkscrewed another few inches out of her skull. At the same time, her teeth elongated, pulling at the very nerves that anchored them as they went.

In comparison, the alteration of her eyes was a light tickle that hardly registered if not for the maniacal laughter filling her ears. Was she the one laughing? Why? 

"Yeah? Well, we've got the cure for that!" Loyalty called out cockily.

She didn't know how she knew, but her mind knew the transformation was winding down inside of her now comforting cocoon of darkness. The pain subsided, only to be replaced by an overwhelming euphoria-inducing power that coursed through her magical pathways. The only part that remained of Princess Luna, the last desperate holdout that was purely her, was her heart as darkness started to ooze into her veins...

Only for the darkness to be shredded as a white flash tore through her cocoon. 

The pain instantly returned as Princess Luna barely held her eyes open against the light emanating from the six floating mares before her. No, not mares. Friends. They were her friends, not adversaries to be defeated- or defeated by, as this nightmare was supposed to go. What was happening?

"Wait!" She cried, though to the Tantabus, the Bearers, or herself she couldn't fathom. Still, she pushed through the pain, and her horn pulsed, forming a clear shield around herself.

Luna had only a moment to look back at the Tantabus, which seemed to be defying her order in an attempt to escape. "What is it doing!?" It was an insignificant spirit under her control, her command. It should have been incapable of tearing through the dream's backdrop, yet it was doing precisely that. 

Before she could fully comprehend the implications, the might of the Bearer's Rainbow Power struck against her shield. 

Luna was forced to divert all of her focus into maintaining her shield as the bright, multi-colored lights surrounded her and obstructed her view.

Her shield miraculously held out against the onslaught but dissolved with the remnants of a purifying rainbow that sparkled and faded away into the surrounding space. However, Luna didn't have the time to care about that. The Tantabus was nowhere to be seen, as was the hole it had torn into the background.

A new, genuine fear pickled along the base of her skull as she yelled, "No, it's gone!"

Immediately after she uttered those words, Luna's very existence was overwhelmed by a moment of burning, purifying pain, only to be soothed by an endless void of calming white. The experience was exactly how she remembered it to be... when she was originally freed from the Nightmare's corruption?

By the time the rest of the world came into focus, she found herself not only back to normal but surrounded by the Bearers of the Elements, her friends.

That wasn't how things were supposed to play out, as she looked into the eyes of each mare. Why wasn't she sealed in the moon? Or petrified? Or, most deserving of all, executed for her crimes?

Why were Princess Twilight and her friends looking at her with happiness and joy? At the very least, she deserved to be looked at with scorn and disgust for her failings!

Something was wrong. Something was missing. Where was the... The Tantabus!

Ignoring their smiling faces and non-stop chatter, Luna sent a pulse to scan her dream. The wave rippled through everything she could see, starting with the mares against her, none of whom seemed to notice, and the surrounding walls. Seconds later, the wave bounced off the limitations of her current dreamscape without any positive trace of the parasitic spirit. 

The Tantabus was no longer in her dream. Giving one last concerned look at all the dream constructs representing her friends, Luna focused her horn and collapsed the dream into darkness...

She awoke immediately, startled and sweaty inside the ostentatious crescent moon bed gifted to her by her sister. "What?" She asked herself, between gasps as she tried to control her breathing. 

Looking up, she stared at the one aspect of the bed she liked besides the mattress. An oval lantern designed to give off a pale white-blue glow, perfectly adjusted to emulate the light of her moon. Once she was calm, she turned back to self-reflection. "My dream ended happily? How? Why? 

Very few answers made any sort of sense, and all of them pointed towards flaws in her spell-craft. The first possible mistake was the Tantabus' limited ability to siphon negative emotions from her self-inflicted punishment. If she made the siphon too strict, it wouldn't be able to sustain itself over the long term. Was that why it tried to escape into the dream realm? It was starving and tried to find another source of anguish before expiring. 

On the other hoof, the siphon could have been too generous, allowing the spirit fragment enough energy to... expand itself? To naturally generate a more significant presence and a sense of self? But she would have noticed, wouldn't she, if that were the case?

No. "That. Can not. Happen!" She said firmly to herself. But she had to be thorough. The clock on her nightstand read 2:30 PM. Not only did she need her rest, but if the Tantabus still lived, it was likely now prowling throughout the dream realm. She needed to find it and anchor the free-roaming sliver of a spirit back to herself as soon as possible.

Laying back down, she drew the covers back over her chest and closed her eyes...


~~~


(October 25th: 9th Day Since Neil's Discovery)

Whether asleep or awake, Luna spent the rest of the day and the following night searching for her errant spirit fragment. Even her Lunar Court had been adjourned early in search of the Tantabus instead, not that it mattered. No petitioner had signed up in advance, and no pony in need showed up within the first hour.

All of it was for naught. Whether scans were looking for active disturbances in the dreamscape or specific tracking spells, none showed any signs of the spirit. There wasn't even an increase in nightmares that occurred naturally during the night. It was relatively slow in that regard. Luna was thankful for the unexpected boon, as she cared for her dreamers as usual.

As Luna removed her shoes, her tired eyes settled on the bed before her. After spending her entire dinner discussing upcoming plans for Nightmare Night with her sister, she looked forward to a full day's rest without looking for the Tantabus. It was with absolute certainty that the spirit fragment must have used its last drop of energy in an attempt to escape the dream and withered away. A sad ending for the tiny sliver of herself.

She was just snuggling into the cool embrace of her blanket when a small but significant alarm triggered from her shuttered window. Her eyes snapped open, only to see a small puff of smoke flying towards her through the dull light. Very few creatures could send her messages via dragon-fire, and judging by the spell matrix... As she expected, the smoke reformed above her bed and dropped a perfectly normal-looking scroll bound with Princess Twilight's seal.

Curious as to why she would be the recipient of such a letter and not her sister, Luna grabbed the scroll with her magic and opened it.

Dear Princess Luna,
Last night, my friends and I all dreamt of a creature made of blue smoke. I'm sure you're very busy, but yawn; when you have the chance, please let me know if you have any idea what it could mean.
Yours yawn,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Her blood froze. It wasn't possible. There was no way for the Tantabus to evade her notice in the dream realm. And yet, the Bearers all reported the impossible to be true. She reread the letter once more, this time taking note of the words crossed out. Whatever these dreams were, Princess Twilight did not earn a good night's rest at the very least.

But why now? And how? She could guess the answer to the second question easily enough. The Tantabus learned of the bearers through her dreams, and now not only was it infecting them, but if it learned of more ponies through the Elements...

It could infect all of Equestria without her notice.

Without thought, her horn lit up. She quickly gathered magic until her horn overpowered her moonlight lamp, illuminating the room in a darker blue light. Once she collected enough to cast, she released all the magic into a single, almost explosive teleportation spell. One moment, she was lying in her bed, and the next, she found herself plummeting in the skies above Ponyville without a single cloud to land on.

With focus, she spread her wings out to halt her descent immediately with a single flap, then focused. She sent out a quick tracking pulse, weak enough to cover Ponyville without alerting the average unicorn citizen but strong enough to find the Bearers. Thankfully, the pulse came back positive from directly below, within the market district. Each pony she sought was visiting Lady Rarity's Carousel Boutique.

Gathering far less power this time, she blinked to the front door of Rarity's business and opened it without warning. Seeing the gathered ponies, she quickly asked, "Which of you saw the creature of blue smoke in your nightmare?"

Strangely, the first mare to respond was the most unlikely and timid of the group, the Bearer of Kindness. Though she looked far more tired than timid at the moment, "Wow, that was fast."

Princess Twilight, however, quickly answered for them all. "We all did-"

Only for her chipper-looking dragon assistant to leave a well-manicured white feline on a table and interrupt, "Not me!" As he walked towards a tub full of water and a tortoise.

"We know." Three mares, Loyalty, Generosity, and Honesty, groaned simultaneously.

Princess Twilight quickly brought the rest of the group back to the topic at hoof as Spike started tending to the reptile. "So, you've encountered the smoke monster too?"

Though Luna was ashamed to admit it, she knew the best policy would be full honesty, given the monster she inadvertently set upon the mares before her. "The Tantabus is a creature of my nightmares. It escaped from my slumbers yesterday," She admitted truthfully once she walked into the gallery and closed the door.

Fluttershy was the first to respond, worry marring her normally beautiful expression. "But, how did it get into ours?"

Luna looked down, avoiding each mare's gaze at first. "The Tantabus is like a parasite. My dreams must no longer be enough for it. Now it seeks others to infect and corrupt!" To emphasize the point, she looked to and pointed at every mare in the room. It would have been far easier to explain without seeing the torment of the previous night's unanswered nightmares in each mare's eyes. "It must have learned of you six by seeing you in my dream."

Luna could feel the guilt bubbling in her chest... Ashamed, she turned away, but not before seeing Spike walking towards her with an odd look of a... kicked puppy.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," He spoke, gesticulating with his claws. "So what you're saying is you dreamt about all of them and not me?" He finished with a particularly heart-wrenching whine that urged her to turn to him and, by proxy, the group again.

However, Rainbow Dash spoke up before she could hug the sad hatchling while crossing her forelegs against her chest. "Uh, so Smokey gave us bad dreams. No biggie."

Luna shook her head sadly as she scooped up Spike in her magic. She hugged the poor dragon whelp into her fluff, both for him and herself, as she pictured the ghastly, worst-case scenario if she should fail. "I saw that the Tantabus had grown more powerful, but I did not realize that power was enough to enable it to escape my dreams. If its power grows, it could very well find a way to escape into the real world. It could turn all of Equestria into a living nightmare!"

"Okay, okay, okay, I take it back," Rainbow relented as her hooves slipped down her cheeks. "That does sound bad. Really bad!"

The tension slowly polluting the room rose to its highest peak, but only briefly before Twilight slammed her hoof to the floor. "But we aren't going to allow that to happen, are we girls? Princess Luna, what do you need us to do?"

Luna was quite thankful for Princess Twilight's initiative but took a moment to collect her thoughts. She also gave Spike's shoulder a light pat before removing him from her chest and lowering him back down to the ground. 

"For now, all of you may go about your day," She told all the ponies involved. "The Tantabus should lay dormant until an infected pony begins to dream. However, tonight, I will require a room large enough for us to sleep together so that I may track down and end this threat."

Each mare looked around the room, silently questioning one another before Twilight volunteered. "My bedroom in the castle should be more than big enough for everypony. I just need to set up enough spare beds."

Rarity perked up right after and fully supported the idea. "Twilight, Darling, I can help you with that. I have plenty of spare bedding that should help."

"I can help carry some of that as well!" Spike added as he rushed over to the white and purple mare with a look of blatant adoration.

After that, the three of them quickly left the gallery, heading up the stairs and leaving Luna with the four remaining Bearers.

"Well, if we're sleeping in the castle tonight, then I need to head back to the farm," Applejack admitted as she broke from the group and walked past Luna towards the door. "Plenty to do if I'm comin' back to town by the end of the day."

"I should leave too," Fluttershy added, following right behind the orange Earth Pony. "So many animals need to be taken care of by tonight."

Once the door closed, only three mares stood in the gallery... Though Rainbow Dash was flying, and Pinkie Pie was bouncing in place with boundless energy.

"I'm supposed to help the Cakes with baking this afternoon," Pinkie gleefully cheered, "But until then I'm free!"

"Very well, do as you normally would. I'll try to lure the creature into my dreams today," Luna told the energetic mare, "With luck, I'll be able to subdue the Tantabus before nightfall. If so, these precautionary measures will no longer be required."

Contrary to what she thought would happen, Pinkie Pie's bouncing slowed with a look of innocent confusion. "If that happens, will our Save-All-Of-Equestria-Slumber-Party become a regular slumber party? And will you still be there?"

Luna blinked as she replayed the party pony's words in her head. "If that is what you wish after all the stress I have put you through."

"Yippee!" The pink pony bounced higher than Rainbow Dash, only to land and leap forward just as high a second time as she passed over Luna. "I have a sleep-over to prepare for. See you later, Princess!"

With one final bounce, she pushed open the front door (without impact or injury, as if it was unlatched) and disappeared. 

Now, it was herself and Rainbow Dash as the mare's confident facade suddenly melted away into a more nervous disposition. "Uh, Princess Luna, before you leave?"

"Yes, Rainbow Dash?"

"Well, you said Smokey learned about us through your dreams, right?" She asked, giving the stairwell Generosity and Magic ascended a paranoid look before continuing. "Could it also learn about another pony through my dreams?"

Luna felt a sudden jolt of fear as the situation suddenly worsened. Still, she held onto the small sliver of hope that Rainbow wouldn't add another innocent to the Tantabus' web. "It could. Tell me Rainbow Dash, who is this pony from your dreams?"

"Well, I was teaching Twilight how to fly, but Smokey already knows about her." She explained nervously before flying in close enough to whisper, "But, uh, she wasn't the only 'Alicorn' I was teaching."

With only five Alicorns alive, it took Luna no time to narrow down which Alicorn Rainbow Dash was talking about. Her eyes hardened with resignation. "... Neil," She guessed quietly, only for Rainbow to nod and confirm her worst-case scenario. "Very well. Head to the castle and wait for us," She ordered the Element of Loyalty, "I shall return shortly with the stallion."

In the blink of an eye, Rainbow Dash was gone, leaving an open door as the only sign of her exit.

Only one new objective remained unfinished before Luna could return to Canterlot and retrieve the newly infected pony. She needed to inform Princess Twilight that one more bed would be required with special, chaos-dampening enchantments upon it. If she still couldn't breach the stallion's dreams after that, but the Tantabus could? The stallion could become a nigh unlimited source of power for the parasite.

It was an unpleasant thought she dared not linger upon as Rarity once more entered the gallery with Twilight in tow...


~~~***~~~


As far as days went in his lavishly gilded cage, today was pretty good, or so Neil thought. None of the ponies woke him up, leaving him to laze in his hospital bed until the allure of still-warm chocolate chip pancakes drew him out. After which, he enjoyed a long shower as his wings went to work, requiring only moderate attention.

During his shower, however, his mind had latched onto a small but interesting tidbit of information about the Princess of Love that fuelled hope and anguish for his chances of getting home. The beginning of her official biography was vague, stating that she was found as a child near the edge of a forest near an Earth Pony settlement. The forest and settlement went unnamed, but the book stated they were both north of Vanhoover.

At the time, he was disgusted by the pony pun based on Vancouver. To the point he brushed the information aside as a cover-up for her true origins. But that morning, the more he thought about it, the more he felt it was too much of a coincidence. Sure, she had shown up as a foal near a random town. A pegasus if the snippet at the beginning of the book was to be believed. But after saving the village from a love-stealing witch, she somehow ascended into an Alicorn.

In comparison, he showed up, thankfully fully grown, in the middle of a bustling city. The thought of reliving childhood as a pony was mildly terrifying. But the common aspect of their stories had them appearing out of nowhere. Leaving Neil to think perhaps there was more in common between them. Was Princess Cadenza a human, like him, forced to grow up and adapt to this insane world? Did she know of a way back? Or was it a mere coincidence?

That persistent group of thoughts led Neil to the library after his shower. After returning the books he already read to Mrs. Keeper, he wandered the shelves for more information on the elusive Princess of Love.

Fifteen minutes later, he found a single book that fit his requirements. Its pink cover and on-the-nose title promised to be the answer to all of his unanswered questions. With The Mysterious Origins of Princess Cadenza safely secured under his wing, he paused his search and returned to the reading area.

That had been twenty minutes ago, and so far, the book hadn't answered a single question he had before opening the cover. Instead, it spawned far more about the world's sanity. A secret, long-lost daughter of Princess Amore? With the foal trapped during her escape attempt under the same curse Sombra used to banish the Crystal Empire. And how did this foal escape the curse? An unknowable, miraculous flicker in the spell that only affected the ponies at the absolute edge of its limits?

After the introduction with its outlandish claims, the author started with Princess Cadenza's fuzzy childhood memories, linking them to the well-documented amnesia suffered by all of Sombra's victims in the Crystal Empire (Though if Neil's hypothesis was correct, perhaps the princess remembered her childhood well enough). 

However, the sound of metallic hooves echoing off the shelves caught Neil's attention, forcing him to pause his reading.

Each step was faint at first. But as the seconds passed, they became more refined, with a strict cadence that told Neil all he needed to know as he put down the book and hid his wings. Chances were the incoming pony was just another guard. However, if another pony was escorted, perhaps a pegasus flying indoors or a naturally quiet pony on their hooves, it was better to be safe than sorry. 

He had not expected to see Luna's whimsical, almost misty dark blue mane drift around the corner. Followed shortly by her horn and then the rest of her as she was illuminated by the tendril-like locks sparkling with little, distant stars. When she fully turned around the corner of the bookshelf, his tense eyes locked onto hers. 

Even though he felt nothing but disdain for the princess, she approached with a calm, if slightly haughty, expression on her shadowed muzzle. Each step that brought the princess closer was stiff but authoritative and complete with purpose. 

Almost as if she was leading a procession of some sort, though Neil couldn't imagine why. Even Bulk noticed her gait and straightened his posture. However, Neil couldn't tell if it was to appear on his best behavior or to stay alert for an upcoming confrontation.

She closed the distance at a measured if strict, pace that only stopped when she stood on the other side of the table he was currently occupying. The entire time, she kept her eyes locked on him. "Private Bulk, Neil, I would have preferred to meet under better circumstances. Instead, I bring ill tidings to you both. Equestria is under threat from a parasite known as the Tantabus."

Bulk's physical presence was already on high alert. Still, when Luna stated that Equestria was under threat, Neil could have sworn the pegasus became even more tense than even he felt.

Neil, on the other hand, mainly felt confused. The Tantabus, whatever the hell it was, didn't ring any bells in his mind. Meaning it wasn't a monster from history. More important, however, was why the dark princess would be approaching him of all people. Also, where the hell was her annoying, olden-time English? She sounded more like her sister now, the very same sister who needed to know about this far more than he did. "And you came here, why? Shouldn't you talk about this with Celestia?"

"I have already sent a priority message to my sister to keep her informed," Luna informed them before her aura started collecting around her horn. "But in the grand scheme, she has no part to play in this unless we fail. Though unfortunate, the part you play is far more crucial."

"What are you doing?" Neil asked, slowly slipping out of his chair as his eyes focused on her horn. As she spoke, the glow hadn't been all that noticeable since it nearly matched the colour of her horn. But now, her aura encompassed the entire bone, becoming more vibrant by the second.

"Transporting all of us to where we need to be," She offered cryptically as Neil managed to sidle up against Bulk's side. He felt a little safer with the guard between himself and Luna, though he still didn't understand the nonsense spewing from her mouth.

"Transport?" he asked, confused. Was Luna calling for a cart? And if so, was it a ground-based one or one of the flight-based ones? "Where and how?"

"To Ponyville," She simply stated before her aura exploded outwards in a flash, blinding Neil to everything but the single colour of blue while also feeling the most indescribably uncomfortable feeling he'd ever experienced.

When the light subsided, the only trace of one or more ponies ever being there was an open pink book describing one side effect of dark magic exposure: amnesia.


~~~


Neil had no fucking idea what the hell was going on around him, which almost pushed him into a near-panicked state. The only reason he didn't was the clank of armor coming from his left, signaling that whatever he'd just experienced, Bulk did as well. 

As Neil looked around, his sight was blurred from whatever he had just experienced. But amidst the fuzzy purple structure he now found himself in, there was also a green blur with a round brown shape underneath it.

Without thinking, Neil dove for it and felt the rim of his newly befriended plant pot dig into his chin as he lost control and vomited up his breakfast. He had no control over the sounds and smell as he was forced to retry his chocolate chip pancakes for the second time that day. As he did, though, an errant thought flittered throughout his mind, mocking him during his current predicament, 'But horses were incapable of throwing up, right?'

At least he wasn't alone in his misery. By the second, or was it the third wave of upchuck, he felt his cloak pushed aside before a cool metallic object pressed lightly against his back. The shape indicated a horseshoe, meaning Bulk was the one rubbing circular motions into his back to ease his nausea. It was a kind thing for the Pegasus to do, but not entirely effective as he was overwhelmed by another automatic response.

Minutes passed before his void of a stomach felt it had emptied most, if not all, of its contents. During this, Neil had managed to clear his sight and learn that the plant he had been fertilizing had a brown stem that was nearly an inch thick with an almost bark-like texture.

After a few firm coughs to clear the dregs from the back of his throat and a final spit, he slowly removed himself from underneath the decorative bush. He looked to his right, ready and willing to thank Bulk for his attempt to ease his stomach at the very least, but paused. It wasn't Bulk sitting beside him with his hoof on his back. It was Luna, with a mix of emotions from calm professionalism to... concern?

Neil instinctively pulled away from the mare as his wing shifted defensively into the newly formed gap between himself and her hoof. With the animosity between them, he would have expected her to sit back with a smirk at his obvious discomfort. 

So why was she the one who tried to comfort him? Or did she feel responsible since she was the cause? That was the only logical conclusion, as Neil quickly stood on all four hooves and turned away from the princess. 

Now that he could see, it was clear that he was no longer in the library. He didn't recognize where he was at all. Whether it was a castle or an elaborate mansion, the purple-blue walls, made entirely of crystal, were rather bare of decorations. Neil couldn't see a single portrait or tapestry as he looked around, not that they were needed. 

Somehow, the faceted crystal structure naturally reflected light in the form of stylized clouds, mountains, and trees across the walls.

It wasn't just the walls. The decorative pillars that appeared to grow out of the floor, the floor itself, which was relatively smooth compared to everything else, two separate sets of stairs, and the arched ceiling far above... Everything was made from multi-faceted crystals of various purple hues. The only exception was the windows, whether placed into the walls or inside the doors, which were carved. Formed? from green crystal instead. 

There weren't any apparent seams in the rock, leading him to believe the entire building he now found himself in was carved from one continuous piece. But that was impossible. Who in their right mind would cut a multi-floor building out of crystal? Where would they find a large enough piece?

Beyond that, there wasn't much inside wherever he was that could be construed as not crystal. The railings running along each stairwell appeared to be made out of gold, along with the wall sconces and the door frames. But other than that, it was just the reddish-brown carpet branching off in three separate directions, two leading down short hallways to the right and left, only to end at the stairs.

Bulk wasn't far away, either. Standing beside the door, his guard appeared at ease instead of alert. Neil quickly brushed his cloak over his wing and approached while asking, "Where are we?"

"Goin' by descriptions I've heard, I'd say we're inside the Castle of Friendship in Ponyville," Bulk told him honestly, if a little confused.

"Ponyville..." Neil muttered to himself, skipping over the last few minutes of discomfort in his recent memory, back to what Luna said before the flash. "You said we needed to be here. How?" He asked, directing his accusation towards Luna. "How did we go from Canterlot, to here in a fucking blink of an eye?"

Any concern on her muzzle evaporated when he swore, leaving only her impassive, professional mask. "I felt it prudent to get here as soon as equinely possible, so I teleported all three of us into the entry hall."

"Teleportation?" Neil asked incredulously, more to himself than anyone else in the room. Was he the first human to survive being instantly transmitted from one place to another? And what if something had gone wrong?

"Y'know, fuck it all, why not? You ponies have telekinesis, you destroy the laws of physics; why not instant teleportation on top of that? So did you dematerialize us, essentially killing us in the process, only to rematerialize us all here?"

That got a reaction, though slight. A noticeable hardening around Luna's eyes as she responded. "Before you fully devolve into another immature, curse-ridden tantrum, know that Rainbow Dash is nearby and will explain the situation to you." By that time, Neil caught sight of another ominous glow building up around her horn. "I will see you tonight."

Before he could respond, Neil flinched away as a second flash originated from Luna's position. However, this one was dimmer than the one from the library. After a few blinks and a lack of nausea-inducing discomfort, he looked to where Luna was standing just a moment ago, only for her to be gone.

Irritation welled inside his chest, to the point where he poorly mimicked her haughty, imperious tone. "Devolve into a curse-ridden tantrum," He snorted, somewhat regretting the action immediately as he was hit with a fresh hint of bile at the back of his throat. "Well fuck you too, you stupid Bitch."

"Neil, that's enough," Bulk reprimanded, finally breaking from his position at the door as he came closer. "She ain't here no more, and I know for a fact that at least one young'un lives here with Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"Oh great, another princess," Neil exhaled with a growl, venting a small portion of his frustration from the strange situation he suddenly found himself in. "So, do you know what the hell is going on with this Tantabus thing? Or are you just as blind as I am?"

"I don' know a thing about this Tantabus," Bulk admitted as he looked between the hallways branching off from the crystal castle's entry. "But, I know the Princess wouldn' do this unless it was important, so let's find Ms. Dash and figure out what the hay is goin' on."

Neil gave him a slight nod in agreement. He didn't feel like braving either set of stairs, on the off chance his nausea returned with a vengeance. And he wasn't going to sit around and wait by the door like an idiot. So he took the only remaining path, a hallway that delved deeper inside the castle by a mere twenty feet before branching off into a T-intersection.

On the plus side, it had a little alcove hidden away with a bench for guests and even a tapestry to stare at while you wait.

Sadly, both of those paths were just as long as the halls leading to the stairs, but these two ended in dead ends. 'Pretty pathetic for a castle,' Or so Neil thought. Was it a castle? Multiple books pointed out that Twilight was an avid researcher and a gifted student under Celestia before becoming an Alicorn. 

Was this instead a wizard's tower carved out of a single, massive crystal spike protruding out of the ground?

Neil quickly put that idea aside in his mind as he heard a muffled thud from his left, through one of the green crystal doors. Bulk also heard the disturbance and faced toward the source of the noise. His armor plating made multiple small, distinct tangs as he quickly overtook Neil as the lead pony.

Without saying a word, Bulk slowly closed the distance from the source of the unknown sound. Neil followed right behind the armored pegasus. Before either of them reached the door, however, it opened. Allowing a relatively diminutive bipedal lizard creature covered in purple scales and wobbly green ear-like fins to exit with an absurdly sized mass of cylinder-shaped pillows held above its head. 

When it spotted them, the creature came to a stop as well. Judging by its expression, it was more confused than shocked to see them. And then, to Neil's mild surprise, it spoke with an almost childlike voice. "Uh, hello? If you're here to see Twilight, the castle is closed today. But you can try again tomorrow if you want!"

Bulk quickly answered for them both, "Princess Luna teleported both'a us here and told us to find Ms. Dash. You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you Spike?"

"Princess Luna?" The lizard child known as Spike questioned, "That means you know about the...?"

"The Tantabus?" Bulk finished for him with a firm nod, "Yup."

"Well, Twilight said another pony would be joining us," Spike admitted as he shifted the giant pile of pillows balanced on his head. "I guess that's one of you two?"

"Me, apparently," Neil admitted, trying to mask his annoyance. It wouldn't be right to take his frustrations out on an innocent kid. "So where's Rainbow?"

"She's helping Twilight and Rarity set up for tonight. Follow me!" He darted around the two of them with far more agility than Neil would have given him credit for, heading towards the main door. "Hurry up!"

Shrugging, Neil spun around and followed Spike at a brisk jog. Bulk followed him as well. Of course, when Spike turned the corner and made a beeline for the right stairway, Neil couldn't help but groan. He hated climbing stairs with four hooves.

While the staircase looked a little on the steep side, Neil received a mild surprise after the first step. The entire stairway might have looked like smooth crystal, but on closer inspection, each surface was made up of hundreds, if not thousands, of slightly off-angle facets. 

This gave Neil ample grip as he slowly made his way up the wrap-around staircase. Even stranger, while there was an occasional green crystal window, they were built into the inside wall. This allowed a person to look into a circular room made entirely of crystal with a large table and seven separate thrones inside.

Eventually, he cautiously made his way up to the top, with Bulk sticking by his side every step of the way. The area they found themselves in wasn't at all grand, or spacious, as Neil would have expected of a castle. Instead, it was little more than a short, ten-foot stretch of floor between the top of both stairs. To his left was a small alcove with benches, likely for guests to rest after the climb. To his right was a wide-open archway leading out to a well-lit area. 

Spike was kind enough to wait for them, though he looked a little impatient when they finally crested the last step. "Are you sure you're looking for Rainbow Dash and not somepony a little slower like Fluttershy?" He asked innocently enough. 

Neil thought he might have caught the faintest hint of a smirk as if his comment on their speed might have been a joke. But he didn't know who or what Fluttershy was. It could have also been the lizard's facial structure, so he brushed it aside. "Pretty sure we were told to see Rainbow."

"Okay. Bedrooms are this way," He told them, gesturing towards the arch with his head.

That much was obvious, but the moment Neil passed through the arch he received his first real piece of evidence that he was no longer in Canterlot. To each side was a reasonably wide hallway that curved out of sight, roughly the same size as the halls in Canterlot Castle. 

Right in front of him was another archway decorated with purple fabric curtains that opened up to an outside balcony and the skies beyond. The balcony itself was pretty large and made of some unknown type of brownstone. But it was the view beyond that captured Neil's attention.

He could see hundreds of buildings, or at least their quaint-looking thatch roofs, all centered around a taller, multi-story building with a steeply angled brown roof. It was as if an old European village had been ripped out of the countryside, though the central building wasn't the only odd shape he could see. 

There were quite a few in that regard, as his eyes darted from a roof that looked eerily like a jester's cap to a steeple in the shape of a cupcake judging by the pink, icing-like shingles. But other than a single mansion a distance away from the town itself, there wasn't a single sign of excessive wealth. Just a quaint little village with some odd design choices.

He felt the rush of multiple emotions as he turned away to follow Spike. Elation at being away from Canterlot and, by proxy, the princesses was the greatest by far. However, it was tempered with worry solely because he was in an unknown place, and he was brought here for a specific reason by the one princess he'd rather avoid the most.

It wasn't long before Spike stopped in front of a pair of doors made out of blue crystal, marking them as different from all the others inside the castle. Instead of waiting or calling out for assistance, Spike only gave them a quick look before giving one of the doors a light push with his foot.

Immediately, as if a switch was flipped on, a slightly posh female voice emanated from the room as the door swung inwards. "-do you think we should place the extra- Spikey Wikey, there you are! We were starting to worry." 

Before Spike even managed another step into the room a different female voice spoke, sounding just as worried as the first. "It normally doesn't take long to travel up the tree. You didn't fall and hurt yourself, did you?"

As the second voice spoke, a pinkish-red aura surrounded the large supply of pillows Spike was carrying and lifted them all into the air. Freeing Spike of his payload and revealing a curved set of green plate-like spikes on top of Spike's head gave him an oddly adorable, baby Godzilla look.

"No, I didn't fall in the storage room this time," He groused, keeping one clawed hand on the door to keep it open while walking inside. "Hey, Twilight, you know the pony Princess Luna talked about? He's here with a guard. You didn't tell me they were a stallion, though."

"A stallion?" The posh voice asked, going from worried to curious in an instant. A light blue aura took hold of the second door, making it appear like an inner power source was emanating through the crystal before the door swung into the room. Less than a second after that, a pony's head peeked out into the hallway, with their horn aglow in blue.

It was clear to Neil that the mare before him took exemplary care of herself. There wasn't a single flaw in her well-brushed white coat. Her swooped and voluminous curled hairstyle looked complex, without a single purple hair out of place. Even her eyelashes looked meticulously brushed and evenly spaced, as her critical blue eyes quickly locked on and scanned over them before lighting up with genuine joy. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Gentlestallions. You may call me Rarity. Please come in, both of you. I'm sure Twilight doesn't mind having a few tall, well-dressed stallions in her room," She offered with a coy smile before looking back into the room. "Do you Twilight?"

While Rarity was introducing herself, the second mare, now identified as Twilight, was already addressing Spike. "Luna only mentioned a pony, Spike. But, if he's the pony Luna told us about, he's infected by the Tantabus just like the rest of us." She then called out a little louder, "We're just about finished if you'd like to join us?"

Neil quickly glanced at Bulk, only to see the Pegasus was in his professional guard mode. So, with an ambivalent shrug, more to himself than anyone else, he casually made his way towards the room.

Once they were moving, Rarity quickly retreated into the room. However, she was kind enough to keep both doors open as her aura also transferred to the other door. "Oh, I wonder which of you will be meeting the literal stallion of your dreams? Do you think it's Fluttershy? I could see her meeting a dashing young stallion during her stint as a fashion model."

Neil was just getting his first glance at the room's crystal interior when Rarity turned to look back at him, flashing the triple diamond emblem on her rump, as if she planned her words and actions perfectly. "You wouldn't happen to work in the fashion industry, would you, Mr..?"

"Neil, and I've never worked in the fashion industry." He told her honestly if a bit bluntly, diverting his eyes away from the white mare and onto the slightly narrowing eyes of Spike. Even if he was, what would he do? Model seasonal clothing in the local Co-Op flyer? Pushing that errant thought aside, he quickly looked around the rest of the room. 

Like the rest of the castle, the walls were made out of crystal ranging from purples to various hues of blue. What wasn't expected was the sheer number of beds cluttering the room. Up against the wall, beside the door, was a fancy four-poster bed, perhaps a little larger than his bed in the infirmary. But eight more beds were fanned out in a circle from that base, taking up most of the room's space. 

Each bed looked to be large enough for only a single occupant. Oddly enough, however, a ninth bed was off to the side, right next to a bronze and blue telescope.

That's where he saw the final occupant of the room, her horn glowing the same pinkish-red that relieved Spike of his pillow pile. She wasn't holding pillows, though, not anymore, at least. Judging by the strong scent permeating the room, what appeared to be black permanent markers danced around the final bed as she drew a complex circle with odd-looking symbols around it. 

That must have been Princess Twilight, judging by her glowing horn and partially flared wings as she concentrated on her task. Neil had to admit he was expecting the purple mare to be taller, at least as tall as he was, though more in line with Celestia and Luna. Instead, she was as tall as Rarity.

However, the one mare he was expecting to see was suspiciously missing from the room. "I was told Rainbow was here? She's supposed to explain what the Tantabus is and why I'm even here."

"Rainbow? She was here just a moment ago," Rarity admitted as she quickly looked around the room. Once that failed, she walked to the four-poster bed and thoroughly checked it. "I do find it odd that Princess Luna would ask you to speak with her instead of Twilight..." Her eyes lit up as she looked at the canopy before she looked towards the ceiling. "Rainbow! What are you doing up there?"

Following Rarity's gaze, Neil spotted Rainbow hovering against the domed ceiling. Each hoof held a rag as she polished the crystal above. The pegasus took a few seconds to finish buffing a patch of glistening crystal before looking down to answer Rarity. "Cleaning. What? I said I'd help, and cleaning's helping."

"But polishing the ceiling?" Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow, only for her eyes to widen, and a small, but playful smirk grew on her muzzle. "Unless Neil was a part of your dream?"

Neil looked up to gauge Rainbow's response, but she was already gone by then. 

Returning his sight down, he found Rainbow was already on the same side of the bed as Rarity. She looked a little flustered but still countered the unicorn's accusation. "Nuh-uh. No way! Don't you dare think I have frou-frou dreams about stallions!"

Before the topic could devolve into a full-blown argument between them, Neil cut into the conversation. "Rainbow, what does she mean by part of your dream?"

That seemed to do the trick as she looked towards him instead of the white mare. "Oh, uh, Princess Luna had a dream about us. That's how Smokey learned about us and invaded our dreams. Then I had a dream about-" Rainbow cut herself off, looking slightly panicked before turning back to Rarity, who was now sporting a victorious if slightly teasing grin.

Ignoring that, Neil finished that line of thinking for her. "Okay, and through your dream, I'm now infected." He found the whole situation insane. An evil dream monster? What was next, an unkillable murderer with a hockey mask and a machete? "So if I were to dream about Bulk," He hypothetically asked, gesturing toward the pegasus beside him, "He would be infected by the next night? That's how it works?"

He was expecting either Rainbow or Rarity to answer him. Instead, it came from the other side of the room as Twilight finished whatever she was doing and sealed the markers held in her aura. "Essentially correct, though the Tantabus would likely reach out and infect Bulk soon after he appeared in your dreams."

"So this thing spreads fast, too. But why does that matter? What does it do?" He asked, trying to balance the severity of their reactions (Except for Spike, who was now reading a comic on one of the beds) to an admittedly fast-spreading but otherwise benign sounding... parasite? Though he had to admit, the thought of a parasite swimming around in his head that very moment...

He brushed aside that particular thought as Twilight began to speak. "Once the Tantabus infects a dreamer, their dream changes into a nightmare. Allowing the parasite to feed on the negative emotions and gain power. The more dreamers it infects, the faster it can do so. Once it has enough power, Princess Luna thinks it will be able to escape from the dream realm into the real world and turn all of Equestria into one massive, never-ending nightmare!"

... Which was bad. Really bad, Neil had to admit, if the threat was real. Thinking back to his previous night's sleep, he couldn't remember whether or not he had a nightmare. He didn't wake up in a cold sweat, at the very least. "One last question then. How are we going to stop this thing?"

"With luck, we might not need to do anything," Twilight explained as she opened the top drawer of her modest dresser and stored the markers. "Right now Luna should be sleeping. As the only infected dreamer, the Tantabus should be drawn to her dream and attack it. If it does, she can capture it. If not, all the affected dreamers will sleep here while Luna tracks down the Tantabus in our dreams."

Neil's entire body tensed. Luna was going to be in his head? He knew she could do something similar after her anti-swearing stunt. But if she could delve into his dreams, why not his memories? What sort of secrets could she discover about him? What would happen if she found out he wasn't a pony? What could he possibly do to stop this!?

"<Neil?><Neil?>" Neil felt a hoof touch his shoulder, and more out of instinct than conscious thought, his head jerked to see Bulk looking at him with worry. "You alright?"

"Fine. Just fine," Neil admitted, though his body felt a bit... twitchy; His wings especially, as he all but forced them against his sides to prevent movement. Ignoring that for now, he glanced around the room to find that he was not only the center of attention, but the mares were either looking at him with worry or poorly hidden disbelief. "What?"

Rarity was the first to speak, her calm voice attempting to put him at ease. "Darling, please don't take this wrong way, but you appeared to zone out right after Twilight explained tonight's plan."

"He-he, yeah..." Rainbow Dash laughed awkwardly, looking nervous all of a sudden. "I mean, we're used to this kind of stuff because we're awesome," She admitted, gesturing to herself and the two other mares with a wing before pointing to him. "But he hasn't done anything like this before." 

Neil couldn't understand why she called him out like that, but he felt mildly affronted by it as she diverted the room's attention back to him. She didn't stop moving either, as she spread her other wing and gave both a light flap. She easily launched herself over the canopy bed mattress before gliding the rest of the way next to him. "Tell you what. You girls finish setting things up. I'll take Neil and Private Bulk into Ponyville for a tour or something."

"Oh, of course, Darling. We wouldn't want to overwhelm Mr. Neil or his guard stallion during their first End of Equestria as We Know It event," Rarity conceded before her eyes lit up. "And if you feel a bit peckish, there's a quaint little cafe at the end of Stirrup Street. Rainbow knows where it is. Just tell them Rarity offered lunch, my treat."

Midway through Rarity's offer, Rainbow made her feelings about it and the situation they were in quite clear. She butted her head against his cloak-covered shoulder and managed to push him along the crystal floor and out the door without much issue. "Sure thing, Rarity. See you later Twi."

It was an odd feeling, having the crystal slide underneath his hooves while Rainbow somehow found enough grip to push a stallion nearly twice her size. By the time he slipped into the hallway, Neil had assumed the same magnetic hoof ability that allowed ponies to pick up items as if they had hands, allowing Rainbow to grip the floor.

Bulk, his ever-vigilant guard against all threats to his well-being, followed diligently as well. Once all three left the room, Rarity gave one final wave of her hoof before her aura surrounded both doors. The last thing he saw was Twilight silently questioning him with a look before the doors closed with a light thud. 

Rainbow let loose a frustrated groan right after and removed her head from his shoulder, looking him directly in the eyes. "You'd better be thankful. Rarity's going to hold that over my head for at least a month."

Neil had an inkling of what she meant, though he couldn't understand why he should be thankful to Rainbow and not Rarity for the free meal. But now that he was out of sight, he took the opportunity to loosen the stranglehold on his wings. Allowing the appendages to ruffle underneath the cloak before settling back down. "Hold what over your head?"

"She thinks I'm having frou-frou dreams about you, and now she offered to pay for a date." She groused, correcting his minor misconceptions before looking to the door with her ears perked. "Let's get this tour going."

Having just met her, he could imagine the posh unicorn pressing her ear against the door to listen in, if she was the matchmaking type. "You know what's going on better than I do. Lead the way."

As Rainbow led them out of the castle, Neil was half expecting her to make them detour and glide off the balcony he had passed earlier. Strangely enough, she didn't; instead, she opted for the stairs like an average pony. Still, the blue Pegasus was a flight junkie. So once he and Bulk braved the first few steps, she lazily hopped into the air and flew beside them the entire way down.

Once they reached the base of the stairs, she was even kind enough to fly ahead and open the front door as he and Bulk jogged along the short hallway. Everything seemed perfectly normal until he passed the threshold outside. Immediately he was bombarded with multiple unexpected noises, most of which were drowned out by the sound of crashing water as if a waterfall was nearby. 

He could hear numerous birds whistling to his left, and a quick look confirmed a small flock of sparrows hopping along the surrounding crystal... roots?

Indeed, the surrounding crystal formation looked exactly like tree roots. His curiosity spiked, and Neil looked up. They were directly under the balcony, but the support structures to the right and left of it resembled thick, almost oak-like branches. It was the weirdest structure he'd ever seen, including his recent stint in Canterlot.

"Hey Neil, you coming?" Rainbow called out, drawing his attention away from the castle and towards the mare already a fair distance down the dirt path presumably leading to Ponyville. "Or are you going to stand there all day?"

"I'm coming! Just hold your... sails," Neil flubbed, as he stepped out of the doorway. Bulk followed closely behind, closing the door behind him with an outstretched wing. He knew they had horseshoes. But what about actual horses? So far there was no mention of them in any book he'd read.

Once he caught up to the hovering Rainbow, Neil asked, "So why are we suddenly taking this tour?"

"Because," She stated, giving the castle one last look back, "A part of the deal being your flight instructor was not revealing your secret. When you froze, I saw your wings twitching under the cloak. I'm sure Bulk did as well, right?"

"Yep," Bulk agreed, backing her up. "I knew somethin' was goin' on after the Princess was mentioned. It's why I jostled your shoulder."

He could only recall pausing for a second, maybe two at the most at the thought of Luna traipsing in through his memories. But if he almost gave away the fact that he was an Alicorn... "Did the other two notice?" He asked, glancing warily at the cottages they were passing by at the edge of town.

"If they did, they didn't say anything." Rainbow shrugged as if it was no big deal. "But I got you out of there, and now you owe me one. I'm thinking of more flight training to make up for lost time." She finished by spinning around. Her speed and trajectory didn't change as she flew backward, but her crossed legs and smug grin told him he wasn't getting away this time.

"After the tour, right?" He asked, keeping his eyes locked on hers without looking downwards. Given her current position, her entire underbelly was in open view as her tail trailed limply in the minute breeze their pace created. "Where would we even go so I'm not seen?"

Rainbow didn't notice or care about her unintended flashing as she shrugged. "I have a few spots I like to practice." Thankfully, she flipped back around so that her tail was at least covering the essential bits while her hoof pointed slightly to the west of the pointed brown roof. "But there's one spot near the Everfree that nopony goes to."

"The Everfree?" He perked up almost immediately upon hearing that. He had no idea that Ponyville was near his primary target.

"Yeah. You've heard about it?" She asked, looking back at him confused as the cottages around them became more dense.

"Only that it's a very dangerous forest where the old Castle of the Two Sisters remains." He offered nonchalantly as if it was just a bit of trivia he knew.

"A very dangerous forest, yeah. But me and the girls go in there all the time." She bragged, buffing a hoof against her chest even though her back faced him and Bulk. "You just have to avoid the cragadiles, cockatrice, ursas, manticores..." 

Most of the monsters she listed, he had no idea what they were. But he knew what a manticore was, thanks to high school D&D sessions. There was no way they were the exact same creature. That was impossible, right? After all, unicorns were in no way near what the D&D version was. "... Timberwolves, plundervines..."

And, of course, he tuned back in the moment she said plunder-vines. Since his mind was already centered around his high school buddies, it immediately veered in an entirely different direction. 'Thank you, Ken, and your anime obsession for that less-than-appealing image.'

"... And star spiders, which are pretty harmless if you leave them alone." She finished as she took a left.

They were in the town proper now from the looks of it. Cottages of different shapes and sizes surrounded them, with randomly sized yards and spacing between buildings. Some were surrounded by low hedges, or picket fences. But most eschewed any sort of barrier entirely. Neil could even see a few businesses in the mix as well. 

To his right was a square building with large oval windows and a large billboard on its thatched roof. The sign didn't say anything, per se, but it advertised... burgers and sodas. That had to be a mistake, right? Or it was a vegetarian alternative since he could only see the lettuce portion of the burger. As far as he knew, ponies avoided meat.

He thought he saw a second about one to two blocks in front of him. A jewelry shop of some sort, named 'Diamond In-' before the rest of the sign was cut off by a cottage. Unfortunately, he couldn't see if the shop was named after the well-known Aladdin cliche as he followed Rainbow and turned left.

Quite a few ponies, mostly Earth Pony mares, were walking around this area of town. Rainbow would give them a wave as she passed, and most would return the gesture. But more often than not, once their eyes shifted towards himself and Bulk, there would be a pause in their step, a raised eyebrow, or they would suddenly become nervous. 

Thankfully, Bulk's gleaming armor was drawing most of the attention. A few caught sight of his horn, however. Those mares tended to flinch or look at him with pity, both of which he ignored.

A little down the street, they turned right at a two-story building that looked to have a storefront on the main floor creatively named 'Bon Bon's Bonbons'. He didn't have much time to look into the shop, but the sweet scent of sugary goodness that awaited inside the open door was tantalizing. Up above, a quaint little balcony was attached to the second story. 

Folding chairs took up most of the space and a music stand suggested that it also housed an apartment or a living space. Weird, but not the oddest thing he'd seen.

The final street they traveled down was a little cramped for walking side by side and curved around more than a few buildings. As if they were built without considering their neighbors or before proper regulations were put into place. Rainbow swerved around the obstacles with ease.

At the end of that last narrow, shady street, the town opened into a wide open plaza. Everywhere Neil looked, ponies of all kinds were walking this way and that or stopping at small tents set up throughout the open area. The circular, four-story tall building with the pointed roof stood in the plaza's center. To Neil, the first two floors looked vaguely like a cake, with decorative lines made from wood planks and pink windows for accents.

He could see two signs facing separate directions from where he stood, with 'Town Hall' clearly written. Rainbow lazily hovered towards the building, her wings barely flapping to keep herself above the crowd as she went. Normally, Neil would have followed without a thought. But there was a veritable crowd of ponies barring the way. He'd seen crowds of ponies before, almost every single day since he'd shown up in Equestria. But that was always at a distance, hidden away in a crate. Actually, traversing through a gigantic mass of ponies? That was something he never had to contend with before...

Looking back to Bulk, who was as calm as always, Neil clenched his wings into his sides, took a deep breath, and pushed forward. The same phenomena that happened before when Bulk was spotted in his shining armor occurred again. Neil ignored it, though, fully intent on catching up with and walking next to Rainbow. He almost managed to catch up with the Pegasus as well, as she started to curve around Town Hall. 

However, a medium-sized group of small pony children caused a break in the crowd as they followed a dark pink mare with smiling flowers on her flank. Thanks to them, he was allowed to see a strange phenomenon that gave him pause. 

A fountain was sitting between the town hall building and the cottages wrapping around the plaza. In the center was a pony carved out of stone, balancing on a ball. But it wasn't the fountain itself that caught his interest. No, it was the light teal unicorn sitting at the fountain's edge as she played her harp very peculiarly.

It might have been a rash decision, but Neil veered towards the fountain. The unicorn was holding the harp and playing it with her aura. That was normal enough, Neil presumed. But, as he got closer, the more vindicated he felt. The unicorn was manifesting hands to play her harp, and not the three-fingered Minotaur hands he had seen in textbooks. Hers had four slim feminine fingers and a thumb, almost perfectly matching a woman's hand.

The tune she was playing was rather enchanting as well. An uplifting sort of ditty, that fit the cheerful market almost to a tee. Neil glanced to his side, noting that Bulk had followed on his little detour. "Is it normal to hold something like that?" He asked quietly, gesturing towards the harp.

"Some unicorns shape their magic in odd ways, yeah," Bulk whispered back, "I can't tell what sort of creature paw she's usin', though."

They even moved as they should, as the golden ethereal hands danced across the strings. Plucking one string after another with dexterous ease. Neil was convinced he knew the exact creature they belonged to. After all, he used to be human. And if it happened to him, perhaps she was a victim of circumstance as well. He wasn't going to voice that out loud, however.

"Hey, I thought we were on a tour. Why'd you stop here?" The slightly perturbed voice of Rainbow Dash asked from above, only for her to add a quick, "Oh, hi Lyra," When the music stopped.

Neil swore he felt the shift of Lyra's eyes and the crowd's as they all converged on Rainbow, Bulk, and himself. "Well, I rarely see street performers where I'm from. So, I thought I'd listen for a minute or two," He answered before giving a polite nod to Lyra. "You play your harp very well, by the way."

"Thank you! But it's a lyre technically," She corrected mildly before greeting the mare hovering directly above him. "Hello Rainbow. You don't normally stop and listen. How are things going for you today?"

"Well enough, I guess." Neil could hear the lazy shrug through the tone of her voice. "I'm giving these two ponies a tour of Ponyville at the moment."

"You did mention a tour. Welcome to Ponyville, both of you." Lyra beamed as a few mares, and even a light brown stallion in the crowd welcomed him and Bulk to town. "Did you come here on the morning train?"

"Nah, we didn't take the train," Neil admitted, "Me and Bulk were teleported here against our will about... a little less than an hour ago, I'd say. That about right?"

"Yep," Bulk agreed.

Neil had been expecting some sort of reaction, but beyond a few looks of curiosity or eye rolls, there wasn't.

"Against your will? Was it another of Twilight's failed experiments?" Lyra asked, looking at Rainbow.

"Nah. It's just another Tuesday sort of thing," The Pegasus explained as if it were an everyday situation. 

Whatever Tuesday meant, that caused a more noticeable change in the nearby ponies. Ears perked up, and eyes glanced this way and that as the vicinity became more alert. Some even left, like the stallion and the two mares at his side, as if they were escorting him to safety. 

"But, me and the girls are taking care of it." She continued casually, as if she doing her spring cleaning.

"That's good to know. Well, I hope you enjoy your stay," The musician offered, sounding a little more wilted. In that short amount of time, the crowd was cut in half. "It seems like I might be ending my performance a few hours early at this rate."

Luckily, Lyra didn't pack up right away. After taking a deep breath, she posed, closed her eyes, and started playing... not a happy tune. But not a sad one, either. As Neil listened, the best way he could describe it was alert, but with a hint of... the Mission Impossible theme? He sat there for an extra minute, just listening, but it was there. Odd.

Looking up, he was glad to see Rainbow was hovering horizontally instead of vertically, as he quietly asked, "Hey Rainbow, how much is an average month's rent in Ponyville?"

"Uh, most ponies pick a spot and build a house in Ponyville," She answered, a little louder than needed but not loud enough to disturb Lyra a second time. "If I had to guess, maybe fifty to a hundred bits a month? Why?"

"You'll see," He whispered before turning to the pegasus beside him. "Bulk, do you still have access to Celestia's account?"

"I have a few slips on me for emergencies," He confirmed after looking around at the diminished crowd. "I'm guessing you wanna make up for the crowd Rainbow chased away?"

"Yeah. Celestia likes it when I spend money on her ponies," He admitted quietly so only Bulk could hear. "How does... double the max rent for an entire year sound?"

"That sounds like you're tryin' to impress the mare or spend the Princess' bits like an idiot." He whispered back, clear enough to voice his disapproval. "You sure?"

"Definitely, to all three," Neil joked as he watched Bulk lean away before both wings dug into his armor. Seconds later, he had a slip of parchment in one wing and a quill and ink bottle in the other.

Even if Celestia didn't personally approve, what would she do? Taking the money back would rend her carefully constructed image as the perfect ruler. Even if this helped a fellow castaway adrift in a sea of ponies only a little, he was more than willing to help.

Once the Mission Impossible-esque song ended, Bulk quickly placed the folded slip of parchment into the instrument case, which was propped open against the fountain.

Lyra watched the guard with a hint of confusion as Bulk placed the parchment alongside a few golden coins, then retreated to Neil's side. 

"A tip and an apology from the three of us for thinning the crowd," Neil clarified for her, "But, as much as I would like to stay, Rainbow still has a tour to finish."

He then turned away from the musician, to the south. The direction Rainbow headed initially, before his little diversion. However, before he walked too far, he craned his neck back to tell Lyra one last thing. "Oh, and don't peek until after your performance ends for the day."

Hopefully, she followed his advice. If Bulk was right, and she was impressed by the amount, he wanted as much of a head start as he could get before the mare tried chasing him down.

Thankfully, Rainbow was more than ready to go as she swooped ahead of him. Leading the way once more as they curved around Town Hall and angled themselves towards a dirt path leading towards a darker, wilder, and ominous-looking wall of trees in the distance. 

The hairs on the back of Neil's neck stood upright. A faint sense of wrongness welled up inside of him. Somehow, on some instinctual level, he knew without asking that the forest before him was the Everfree Forest...

His current goal looked a little more dangerous than he initially anticipated, as Rainbow brought them ever closer.


~~~


Neil's legs protested through sheer agony as he continued to run. Around and around, lap after lap, with nothing but the smell of torn-up grass, freshly exposed earth, and his own sweat to keep him company. And the worst part was that he and Rainbow knew that no matter what she put him through, he'd be perfectly fine by tomorrow morning.

That was why he was running as many laps as physically possible around the not-so-small clearing in the woods Rainbow had picked out.

"Thirty-four!" Rainbow yelled as he passed the starting position, the large tree branch she was currently lying on like a puffed-up, self-important Cheshire cat.

He desired to be back in town, listening to Lyra's music. That had been much more relaxing compared to this, even if he was surrounded by an unknown amount of ponies. But that had been three, perhaps four hours ago, judging by the sun's current position?

Then, as had happened so many times before, the inevitable caught up to him. His front left hoof slammed into the ground at a slightly wrong angle, causing a minor hitch in his cadence that snowballed from there. One moment, he was upright, gasping for breath as the outside edges of his vision faded to black. The next, he was sliding along the grass as dirt and plant matter intermingled with the foamy sweat on his belly before he finally stopped. 

Rainbow was on him immediately, giving him about a second of rest to catch his breath. "Thirty-four and a quarter. Not bad for your third set of laps," She congratulated, patting a hoof against his burning shoulder. "Let's move on and focus on those wings again. Another hundred wing-ups, now!" She commanded before blowing a whistle.

Where she even picked up the infernal thing, Neil didn't know. But he managed to slowly extend his wings, each joint popping with discomfort, with only a small groan. It was a never-ending cycle. When running, his wings would get a short break. 

Now that she decreed wing-ups, his front legs would get some time to recover. Unfortunately, his back legs and thighs never got a break. He suspected that was intentional on Rainbow's part.

"Who knows," Rainbow continued, with the whistle no longer pressed against her lips. "Another couple hours of this, and you might get off the ground on your next session. Then I can start teaching you the good-"

"TWENTY-FOUR HUNDRED BITS!?" The faint but shocked sound of Lyra's shriek wove through the trees.

... Clearly, Lyra had finished playing for the day as Neil collapsed into wheezing, gasping laughter.
> 8. Dream-Ministrations Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 25th: 9th Day Since Capture)

The sun was just about to peak at the final leg of its evening journey when Rainbow called his torture- training session to an end. Any minute now, Celestia would supercharge the giant ball of flaming death's trajectory and banish it beyond the horizon, as was typical in Equestria.

But Neil couldn't give a single fuck about the absurd physics that ran the world at the moment. He was far too focused on taking things one step at a time as he slowly turned towards the direction he thought the castle might be. Of course, he wasn't the only one making the journey back. Bulk quickly found his place at Neil's right side now that Rainbow called their session. Rainbow was also flying nearby. He could hear her wings flapping somewhere above him, but he didn't have the energy to look up and track her movements.

He had to admit, after all the times he collapsed in this field, a not-so-small part of him wanted to curl up right then and there in the foot-high grass. It was softer and far more comfortable than a shipping crate, at the very least. But he knew Rainbow and Bulk wouldn't allow him to do that as he slowly approached the treeline.

Speaking, or thinking of the ice-cold blue devil as the case may be, Neil felt Rainbow gently prod his sore left shoulder with a hoof. Adding an extra little spark of burning pain on top of everything else as she spoke. "Uh, Neil. If we're going to make it to the castle before sunset, you're going to have to move faster."

Neil only gave her an irritable grunt as he continued forward. If she wanted to get back to the castle within a timely manner, she should have thought about that before running him into the literal ground time and time again.

Her lazy flaps shifted to his right, hovering around Bulk. "You think I might have overdone his training?" She asked quietly, though he still managed to hear her.

"Yep," Was Bulk's not-so-silent response.

"Okay, that might be my bad." Rainbow conceded as Neil broke through the treeline at a snail's pace. "Uhhh... Hold on, Alicorn, duh! Just give me a second," She offered, giving up on the quiet approach as she shot off into the sky.

Neil would have shrugged at her sudden disappearance if he knew it wouldn't hurt. Instead, he focused all of his remaining energy on listing lazily towards the left of the nearest tree and its cantankerous root system poking out of the ground.

He managed to pass another three trees slowly but steadily before Rainbow returned at a more sedate speed than when she had left. The reason was obvious, however, as she pushed a fluffy white cloud about the size of a trampoline in front of her. "Hop on! This way you can take it easy, and we can get to the castle faster."

His first rebellious instinct was to veto the idea outright and walk the rest of the way despite her training. But then, his memory flashed, reminding him how soft the cloud Bulk created in the castle felt. If this one was anything like that... He couldn't deny that sort of comfort was something he could use at that point. 

A hint of nervousness broke through Bulk's guard facade, but otherwise, he said nothing one way or the other about Rainbow's idea.

So, with aching muscles and a few noticeable pops from his joints, he climbed onto the unnaturally formed cloud mattress. Unlike before, he didn't notice any of the white fluffy clouds darkening into a dreary grey. But he didn't care, either, after his first step. Once he was near the center with all four hooves on the cloud, he couldn't resist. The soft allure was too much as he collapsed into incomprehensibly soothing water vapor. Allowing the cloudy sea of white to support his weary body as if he was one giant fuck you buoy in the name of physics.

It could have been his aching body speaking for him, but this was by far the best mattress he'd ever felt. He made a priority note to himself in the back of his mind. If, for some reason, the ponies never converted clouds into beds, he would do just that (If he couldn't find his way back home).

He didn't feel a thing as all three flew above the treeline. He barely even saw it, as his eyes were level with the cloud's cottony texture. For some reason, it was a struggle to keep his eyes open as he constantly blinked away the dark fuzziness at the edge of his vision...

By the time the sun fell, only to be replaced with the ever-glowing moon, Neil was out cold and gently snoring. Quickly and silently, both Rainbow and Bulk pushed the cloud through the clear evening sky toward the Castle of Friendship.


~~~***~~~


Luna could have had a better evening. Between informing her sister of the possible scenarios where the Tantabus could grow out of control, the raising of her Moon, and cancelling Lunar Court for a second night in a row, she only managed to wolf down a single thermos of coffee and a lone plate of pancakes. Nary enough to last through a whole night's work, but it would have to do as she teleported directly to Twilight's castle.

She chose the map room, as that was the most likely spot for everypony to gather. In that regard, she was correct. Mostly. As the light of her spell dissipated, she found five of the six Elements and Spike the hatchling sitting in their respective thrones around the table.

They had been talking while enjoying an open box of baked goods sitting on the table. But the moment Luna's presence was noticed, all noise ceased. At least, it would have if one of the Elements had not been a party pony. Laughter immediately bounced in front of her with a white confectionery delivery box. "Hi, Princess! I thought you might be hungry, so I made these for you."

Before she could reply, Pinkie Pie had already opened the box, revealing twelve large double chocolate chunk muffins baked to perfection. The scent alone had her mouth watering as she graciously took the box in her magic and placed it on her back. "I thank you for the gift."

"You're welcome," Pinkie answered, suddenly back in her throne and bouncing with another two boxes resting on her back.

"Unfortunately, we have no time to spare." She warned the ponies who were present. "I was unsuccessful in my attempt to lure the Tantabus into my dreams, which means I must now hunt it through yours."

Princess Twilight quickly spoke up, "Princess Luna, we've prepared everything exactly as you've requested."

"Good," Luna appraised her prompt work. "As everypony slumbers, I will pursue the creature into whichever of your dreams it infests."

"...But as you can see, Rainbow still hasn't returned with Neil and his guard," Twilight continued, pointing out the flaw she had noticed earlier. "Shouldn't we wait?"

While a problem she did not foresee, it was a minor one at most. Gathering magic into her horn, Luna focused her mind on the same tracking spell she used earlier in the day. This time, she keyed it towards the essence of Rainbow Dash, Bulk Order, and Neil before releasing the spell. 

She didn't have to wait long for a response. All three were in the airspace over Ponyville and moving towards the Castle of Friendship. What alarmed her the most was that Neil's essence was already tethered to the dream realm. "They are travelling here as we speak. However, we must hurry if our plan is to succeed. Neil has already fallen asleep."

"Aye, aye, Ma'am!" Pinkie Pie saluted, wearing a combined white captain's hat and sleeping nightcap with a pom-pom that matched her coat. "Operation Princess Sleepover is a go. Wheee!" With that, she joyfully pronked across the room and out the door nearest the stairs.

"I reckon we might as well get comfy while waiting on Rainbow and those stallions Twilight mentioned." Applejack seconded as she slipped out of her throne and followed Laughter out of the room.

Each pony left the map room one by one until only herself, Princess Twilight, and Spike, who was riding on Princess Twilight's back, remained near the door.

Twilight was next to go but paused at the threshold long enough to look back and ask, "Speaking of Princesses, aren't you going to ask Celestia for her help as well?"

"She has been informed about the situation, but there is nothing my sister can do," Luna informed her, following right behind the other Alicorn. "She has no power in the realm of sleep. Only I can move from dream to dream. I am afraid nopony can help me tonight."

Twilight's ears wilted a little upon hearing that. "Even us?"

"Especially you," Luna stated, reinforcing the notion as they made it to the stairs. "You have all suffered so much because of me. You need only slumber while I hunt the Tantabus in your dreams."

A contemplative silence followed as they ascended the steps. However, once both Alicorns reached the landing above, Luna felt an odd sensation. One she remembered from her more adventurous lovers who had long since passed, but hadn't been reacquainted with in the modern era since the end of her banishment.

Looking to her side, she saw a slightly nervous but determined Spike release the lock of the ethereal mane he'd just tugged on. "Um, Princess? I know you said nopony can help, but I'm no pony. I'm gonna stay up and watch over you guys, just in case."

Twilight smiled as she took the lead to her bed chambers. "Aww, thank you, Spike."

Despite the impropriety, Luna couldn't help but smile at the dragon hatchling's offer as well. The likelihood that he could stave off sleep was unlikely, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. 

After a short walk, the two Alicorns approached the doors leading into Twilight's bed chambers. One of them had been left open, allowing both to hear the last of what Applejack had to say. "...Shouldn't be too hard to fall asleep now."

"Are you kidding!?" An overly excited Element of Laughter countered, "This is so exciting; I don't know how I'm ever going to- Zzzzz-hoooo..."

Only three of the nine single beds were occupied as they entered the room. Kindness and Generosity were already sleeping in the two beds closest to the entrance. For some unknown reason, Honesty and Laughter had both claimed the same bed, leaving plenty still available to choose.

As Twilight shifted towards her bed, Spike hopped off her back and scuttled across the room quietly to claim the bed furthest away from Fluttershy. Once on top of the covers, he braced himself against the pillow in a sitting position. Allowing him to watch over the room easily, as he promised he would.

Now, it was a waiting game as Luna watched her fellow princess drift off into the realm of slumber. It would be counter-productive to cast the spell now and exclude Rainbow and Neil. Doing so would allow the Tantabus multiple free havens to escape beyond her tightening net.

Thankfully, she wouldn't have to wait long. If she correctly guessed their current rate of speed, then the three remaining ponies should reach the castle...

A faint tapping could be heard on the window next to the telescope. Glancing to her right, Luna saw Private Bulk Order and Rainbow Dash hovering next to the glass with an errant cloud behind them. Peeking over the two pegasi, she noted Neil's messy, dirt and grass-stained form unmoving on the cloud.

It was just as she feared, as her magic unlatched the window and pulled both panes aside. This allowed Loyalty to swoop in silently while Private Bulk flew around the cloud before pushing it carefully through the window.

"We have no time to waste," She whispered to Rainbow while gesturing towards the many unused beds. "The Tantabus may already be on the move, but you must be asleep before I can cast the spell required to capture it."

Rainbow did just that. With only a quick nod, she hopped to the open bed next to Generosity and threw the cover over herself. Within seconds, Luna felt her essence link with the dream realm and knew she was asleep. 

By then, Bulk had maneuvered Neil above the bed closest to the window, exactly where the Alicorn stallion needed to be. As the guard lowered the cloud, the bed disappeared into the mist without resistance from underneath. Only for the bed to break through the top layer and lift Neil off the cloud, as the cloud pressed against the floor.

When Neil touched the sheets, the entire cloud began to glow a faint, dull orange. With Neil in place, the chaos ward activated. This would hopefully neutralize any trace of chaos magics circulating through Neil's system. Allowing her to bolster and then enter his dream without shattering it.

With Neil in place, Bulk quickly removed the remnants of the cloud. Allowing the glow to become slightly more prominent now that the active glyphs were uncovered.

But she had no time to appreciate Princess Twilight's glyph work. With everypony in their proper place, it was now time to dutifully play her role as the hunter. With a silent flap of her wings, she found herself halfway up the room. Giving her clear sight over all the ponies she needed to tether herself to. 

Unlike most castings, she first needed to focus on the spell. Only after that could she gather magic to fuel her will. Every drop was filtered into the spell, preventing the typical casting aura from appearing. Instead, a single ethereal thread that only she could see wove around her horn. Once it reached the tip, the thread split. Several separate threads then spread out, each finding the forehead of a pony to tether to. This allowed her rapid access to a pony's dream and to lay more potent wards to detect unwanted beings.

The moment Rarity was connected, she felt the foreign essence of a spirit. At long last, she had irrefutable proof she could track the Tantabus down. She only had to wait a moment for all ponies to be connected before the chase was on.

When the final thread reached Neil and pressed against the base of his horn, Luna felt something different and entirely new. His dream was just as wispy and frail as before, but now it felt as if the instability was typical for him. However, without the chaos magic interfering, she could now strengthen the framework, so to speak, and allow herself into his dream without a collapse.

If she was required to do so. She focused on the thread connected to Rarity and dove into the unknown.


~~~


...Almost. If not for her moment of hesitation, she would have surely captured the beast inside Princess Twilight's dream. Alas, after chasing the Tantabus through multiple dreams, its power was far greater than she initially anticipated. After shattering its prison of crystal, the beast immediately dove into the nearest book as an escape into the next dream. She followed soon after, leaving poor Twilight to fend for herself against an army of animated texts.

Not her proudest moment, to be sure, as the scent of decay almost overwhelmed Luna in the dark and decrepit stone passageway she now found herself in. Once her horn was lit, she could tell at a glance the structure would have been magnificent at one point in time. Now, the grand blocks of stone hewn from purest white marble were the foundation for layers of slime, mold, and moss, except for a singular, lightly trodden path.

To the average dreamer, the expectation would be to follow the path, wherever it may lead. But for Luna, she instead sent out a faint pulse to find where the dreamer was currently residing. After all, if she were to find the pony, she would also find the Tantabus, as had been the case the last six times.

Within a second or two, she felt a flutter as her magic reacted to the north of her position, leading her directly through the moldy stone wall. A problem, to be sure, if she wasn't the most skilled dream-walker to ever exist. She shot another quick application of magic into the facsimile of a wall and watched as the stone became as malleable as clay while a portal to the dreamer slowly formed.

She never knew exactly what form the gateway would take. Only that it would fit the theme of the dream, or in this case, nightmare, as the material transmuted itself into an old, thick, rusty metal door fit for a dungeon. Thinking on it, this dream's framework reminded her of the tales parents would use when she was but a filly to scare their foal into compliance. Grogar, the Vile Father of Monsters in particular, going by the decrepit state of the dungeon. 

Would she find herself beset by horrific monsters dripping in blood while Grogar transformed the dreamer against their will? With the door almost complete, she would find out soon enough.

As soon as the hinges formed, Luna pushed open the barely functioning metal door with her magic. Oddly, she stepped through without even a single squeak from the rusty hinges into another passageway. 

This one was far brighter, with two lit torches casting an acceptable amount of light from a distance. The stonework was also cleaner, but not by much, revealing platter-sized patches of bare white marble instead of being fully covered by grime. At the very least, the fungal scent was overpowered by the smoke from the torches and a noticeable hint of iron and rust. 

Yet, no living creature was in her sight. Odd. Usually, she would be transported directly to the dreamer... No, now that she was closer, she could feel his essence. This was Neil's dream, which miraculously hadn't shattered. Meaning the chaos suppression wards worked. Now, if only she could find-

"Oh look, Dear Sister, it appears as if our new toy is finally waking up for some fun."

Though she barely heard the words, Luna recognized the voice immediately. There was no doubt in her mind that the voice belonged to Celestia, her sister. However, not once in her entire life had Luna ever heard her sister speak in such a taunting, almost playful tone... Whatever type of dream construct it was, it wasn't her sister as Luna quietly trotted toward the torches.

Silence passed, allowing Luna to get closer to the torches and the open passageway they flanked before another pony spoke. This time, it was Luna's voice she heard. "Prithee, dost thou wish to claim the first ride?"

'Toy? Fun? Ride?' Something about this dream didn't sit right with Luna. Why was her sister acting so odd? Why was she speaking ancient equish? She had become much more proficient in the modern vernacular over the last year, to the point she and Celestia could hold entire conversations... But that was beside the point as she attempted to get closer.

Annoyingly, once she reached a certain point, the passage started moving along the wall at the same speed away from her.

"Nay, Luna. After your prolonged exile, I felt it only fitting for this to be a celebration of firsts. Go, enjoy yourself."

Moments later, she heard a third voice join the mix, this one distinctly Neil, though woozy. As if he was still partially sedated or worse. "What's goin' on... Hey, what're you- Get the fuck off of me, Sto-Mmph!" The escalation of fear in his words drove a spike into Luna's heart. She may not have liked the stallion much, but the sudden shift in tone alluded to something horrific. What set fire to her hooves was the sudden cut off of his angry yell.

Luna ran as fast as she could, quickly gaining on the torch-flanked passageway. Whatever made it move could only go so fast, but not fast enough as she closed the distance. Once near the passageway, she gave her all in one final leap. Her wings extended as much as they could in the passageway before providing a single, mighty flap, pushing herself past the threshold and through the entrance into a large ritual chamber. 

She might have clipped the tip of her wing against the unusually clean stone, but that was a small price to pay as she looked up into the room.

All thoughts of the moving door quickly departed from her mind as her eyes took in the depraved scene before her.


~*~
Graphic Content Warning. 
Search 6969 to skip.
~*~


Neil was on the ground, forced to lie on his back. Each of his limbs, front legs, back legs, wings, and tail were spread out and held down with iron straps bolted into the stone floor. Even his neck had a metal collar affixed just below his chin, which was not only attached to a short chain (That was also bolted to the stone floor) but was the base for a large leather gag stuffed into his snout.

The only appendage that wasn't bound in some form or another... was his rather large and erect black and gray penis, which was currently being massaged by an exact dream replica of herself. The fake Luna allowed Neil's tool of fornication to glide up and down between her perky posterior cheeks, all of which were slick with her feminine arousal.

The entire room reeked of genuine leather, looking at all the various straps, restraints, and toys lining the walls. But the unmistakable, almost overpowering scent of Alicorn musk and estrus was a notable contrast.

None of the ponies in the room reacted to her presence. Not even Neil, whose terrified eyes were firmly affixed on Celestia as she made her way up from a spot on the wall that seemed to be empty. To Luna, she looked exactly as her sister should, except for two very un-Celestia-like details. The first was the maliciously playful grin on her muzzle as she slowly pranced up to Neil, clearly savoring the fear in his eyes. The second was a massive, fake purple phallus attached to the underside of her belly with leather straps. It was even more significant than Neil's girth as it bounced and slapped against Celestia's belly, slicking her fur with pre-applied lubricant with each lurid step.

"Did you know, Dear Sister, that massaging a stallion's prostate not only enhances his endurance but the volume of his seed?" Dream Celestia asked the fake Luna, who appeared to be more focused on lubricating Neil's member and her entire rump with her physical lust. "So please, take all the time you need and enjoy this. By the following morning, both of us should be pregnant with the next generation of Alicorns."

Celestia had closed the distance by the time she finished speaking, blocking Luna's view of the most explicit actions taking place. However, there was no room for interpretation of what Dream Celestia was planning to do as she positioned herself behind Neil and started lining herself up. "Even so, that doesn't mean we can't practice for the next set of foals after tonight. Neil won't be going anywhere for a long, long time, will you, Stud?"

The thought alone must have aroused Dream Celestia since she gave a fervid wink as she spoke. Unfortunately, Neil didn't give her a proper answer. He couldn't, given the gag stuffed down in his snout. But that didn't stop his panicked, unintelligible yells during Celestia's speech. 

Throughout the brief exchange, Luna stood frozen as she watched everything but couldn't quite process what was happening before her. This was an insult to everything she and her sister stood for! To know that these were the sorts of nightmares Neil was having, daily? That his greatest fear was to be raped by herself and Celestia?

No. Just as Luna had done in Pinkie's dream, she quickly charged the two fake Alicorns, gathering as much magic as possible to the tip of her horn while focusing on a cleansing spell. Once she was close enough, she released a shock wave of dream magic to undo the corruption brought about by the Tantabus.

Dream Celestia, fake phallus included, took only a second to fade out of existence. Long before any actual penetration happened to the poor stallion's exposed orifice. The same thing happened to Neil's muzzle, though the rest of his restraints remained. The fake version of herself, however, did not fade away. Instead, her form seemed to lose shape and shift until it was little more than a starry void in the vague shape of an Alicorn.

The Tantabus' malformed head looked back directly at her, uncaring of Neil's terrified plight underneath it. A mouth-like void opened up, releasing a warning hiss akin to a chimera's. Immediately afterward, the Tantabus jumped down, forcing its amorphous form down a panicked and swearing Neil's throat-


~~~***~~~
6969
~~~***~~~


Neil reacted on instinct, gasping for much-needed breath as he shot up. His recently freed wings immediately formed a protective shield around himself. Both hooves rushed to his chest and neck, looking for any out-of-place bumps or bulges that may or may not have been the monster that...

His mind shut down that thought, instead focusing on the fact that there weren't any out-of-place, tumor-esque lumps expanding out of his body as far as he could tell. Though he couldn't see due to his wings, he finally noticed he wasn't alone, as his ears picked up a voice.

"That... that was terrible," An unknown, soft-spoken mare said. "I- I never want to have that nightmare again!"

"Me either," The familiar voice of Rainbow Dash seconded, informing him there was at least one person in the room that he knew.

Was that a Tantabus-induced nightmare? It felt so real, the way the metal dug into his skin despite the layer of fur or the pain that tore through his muscles as he tried to break free from his restraints. The warmth from- A shudder ran through his entire body as that image flared into his mind. Nope. Ignore that and focus on the room around him.

"But, Luna caught it. Didn't she?" Spike asked from the same area as the soft-spoken pony, his voice tinged with worry.

"I am so sorry, my friends," Luna spoke, her voice originating from the ceiling. Neil immediately looked up, over his wings, to see a strange sight. Instead of the cold, almost formidable presence that he was used to, she lowered herself to the ground with her eyes closed as she spoke. Sadness and failure radiating off her in the strange, orange shimmer that reflected off the ceiling. It was a shocking contrast compared to the perverted glee from mo- 'No!'

"I failed," She continued as her metal horseshoes made contact with the crystal. She then started to walk around the room methodically, as if each step enhanced the point she was trying to make. "It will be back to infect your dreams the next time you sleep, again and again, every night until it grows powerful enough to infect the waking world!"

Peeking over his wings, he noted that Luna had ended her warning near the window next to Twilight's four-poster bed, and she also had the rapt attention of all six ponies in the room with him. Rarity, Rainbow, and Twilight, he recognized. From the direction of the soft-spoken voice, he could see a yellow mare with a pink mane. She had partially wrapped herself in her bed sheet and was still visibly shaking from the ordeal she just survived.

He couldn't tell much of the other two other than the fact that they were sleeping in the same bed. One had a puffy pink hairstyle and ears that were a lighter, less vibrant shade of pink. Squeezed next to the pink hair was a pair of orange ears with a small amount of blond hair. Strangely enough, hanging off the curved headboard, somehow, was a cowboy hat next to the orange mare.

"It'll be okay," The pink mare cheered despite her nightmare as she raised a hoof high. Enough to be seen over the headboard, at least. "Everypony makes mistakes."

"Spike, please send a letter to my sister. She is no longer safe from the Tantabus' reach," She ordered as she turned and walked back to the center of the beds. For a moment, her eyes caught his with a flash of unknown emotion, before she looked to the rest of the ponies with... genuine resolve? Or it might have been a facade, he couldn't tell. "However, as long as none of you dreamt about any other ponies, the Tantabus remains confined to a set number of dreams."

A gout of green flames sprouted between Rarity's and the soft-spoken mare's bed, temporarily lighting the room with a bright green glow. "I still have a chance to catch it before it's too late.

"Phew, that's good to hear," The pink one said with a relieved sigh, airing the feeling throughout the room... Only to then burst everyone's bubble as she torpedoed Luna's hope with the speed of a machine gun. "Although after you left I did have a dream that I was eating a giant ice cream cone with all of Ponyville and taking a test I didn't study for. See? What did I tell you, everypony makes mistakes."

Neil couldn't follow her jumble of words but caught ice cream, Ponyville, and test. However, the look of abject shock on Luna's face hammered the message home. The entire town. All those innocent ponies who had nothing to do with this, whether adults or children, could be having the same severity of vivid nightmares that he had just suffered?

"But that means the Tantabus could be turning every dream in Ponyville into a nightmare!" Twilight shouted with worry, the very same expression marring her face.

"It is far worse than that," Luna warned, spinning to look over each of them as she spoke. "Infecting all of those dreams gives it more and more power. Soon, it will be able to escape into the real world and infect Equestria with its nightmare plague."

"Then you must let us help you stop it before that happens," Rarity demanded, sternly, her determined eyes locked onto Luna.

"But how?" The yellow mare asked as she slowly unwrapped the blanket from around herself. "The Tantabus would be able to escape Luna when it only had seven dreams it could get to."

"It is true," Luna conceded, looking lost. "With so many dreams to hide in, I do not know how I can catch it."

The room fell into a slight lull of silence and defeat at her words, except for the tiny pitter-patter of feet against crystal Neil associated with Spike. He followed the sound and caught a glimpse of purple and green scales between multiple headboards as the little lizard climbed onto one of the unused beds.

After that minor distraction, he looked across the room once more. None of the mares seemed to be moving. Twilight was deep in thought. He couldn't see anything of Rainbow beyond her still hair above the headboard. Rarity was watching Luna closely. And the yellow ma- Neil froze.

The yellow Pegasus' wings were partially flared, and her cyan eyes, looking directly at him, were wide with shock.

'Fuck!' Neil thought as he quickly ducked his head under his wings. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Why in the world did one of them have to look his way?' He thought, fuming at his stupidity and lack of vision as he stared at his interwoven feathers.

Thankfully, Twilight chose that moment to come up with a bright idea. "What if everypony in Ponyville were having one dream?"

"I... can create shared dreams, yes," Luna admitted, with both hope and worry intermixed in her voice. "But for so many ponies at once? I have never done anything like that. The amount of power it would take..."

The mare who spotted him spoke up next. Strangely, she did so without mentioning him as she encouraged Luna. "Well, it is worth a try, isn't it?"

"I agree with Fluttershy, Luna," A new mare spoke up with the opening of a door, one that sent a spike of dread through his chest. The visage of a malicious grin that promised a whole night of forced pleasure and pain clouded his mind. Celestia was now in the room. "Anything is worth a try to save our little ponies."

The following silence was marred by the sound of metal horseshoes against crystal. Neil felt that it might be Celestia, but he couldn't be sure until it stopped, only to be followed by the strain of an Alicorn even larger than him settling down on a bed that was too small.

There was a muffled giggle that might have been from the fast talking, hyper sounding mare, but he didn't know for sure. Once that died down, however, a country twang that gave Bulk a run for his money spoke up. "Uh, not to take away from the current crisis everypony, but who in tarnation is that?"

Neil's nerves spiked. He wasn't positive, but he felt that question was directed towards him like a spear.

"That would be Neil," Luna supplied neutrally. "Please, leave him be for now. The nightmare wrought upon him by the Tantabus was particularly... savage." She finished with a hint of anger in her voice.

Still, the country mare continued, sounding more confused than anything else now. "Twi, didn't you say that Neil fella was a unicorn?"

"Neil is an Alicorn like myself, Luna, and Twilight," Celestia told the room, dropping his secret like a bombshell as anger sparked within him. "We can discuss that later, however, after the current crisis as Applejack put it."

"Agreed," Luna followed immediately afterward. "All of you must now go back to sleep. And hope... that I can create such a dream."

Go back to sleep? With the current mix of emotions roiling throughout his system, there was no way in hell he could go back to sleep! However, the rest of the ponies in the room had no such qualms. He heard ponies yawning as they shifted in their beds. How? How could they go back to sleep with the pressure of an entire town at stake and the visceral reality that they had to take on a monster eerily similar to Freddy Kreuger? 

He didn't have to wait long before a sudden weariness fell over him. It was almost as if a switch were flipped internally, as his wings limply fell to his sides and his body sagged. At that point, as he fought to keep his eyes open, he could see Luna hovering in the air with her eyes closed in concentration. A faint part of his mind guessed that this was some sort of mind magic bullshit. That same part tried to spark something. Anger, rage, anything to fight against it.

Strangely, he settled into it instead. Of course, she would use some sort of mass sleep ward as a precursor. An entire town was at stake. And he couldn't allow anyone else to suffer a similar fate... he...


~~~


Neil jolted, surprised to find himself awake and standing outside in a strange, almost mystical version of Ponyville after dark. However, he wouldn't describe the night as dark with the amount of silver light the moon gave. Strangely, the moon now looked like a pale blue-white sun at a glance.

But what was he doing there? Why was he outside? Wasn't he in bed, in the castle?... Actually, now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember climbing into bed in the first place. But that wasn't important. He had to figure out what the hell was going on, and quickly.

Looking around, he was somewhat surprised to find himself in an area of Ponyville he knew. He didn't know the street name or any of that nonsense, but it was the cramped street between the candy shop and the town hall plaza. Not wanting to deal with any possible crowds, Neil turned around, heading north towards the candy shop despite the lateness of the night.

The castle was at the northwest edge of town. Logically, if Neil went northeast, he should reach the edge of town in roughly the same amount of time. And from there? He could figure out what to do once he was safe and secure.

At least, that was the thought until Neil walked past Bon Bon's Bonbons. As he turned the corner, he immediately spotted Lyra, the musician from earlier that day, and another mare colored a pale yellow, with hair in equal amounts of blue and pink, standing not even ten feet away from him. However, that wasn't the shocking, jaw-dropping aspect that made him freeze like a statue. No, that feat belonged to the fact that both mares were somehow two front halves connected at the belly as they hugged as if they were a strange pony facsimile of the old CatDog cartoon.

Unfortunately he stood at the spectacle, frozen, for just a little too long as Lyra opened her eyes and spotted him. Her already content smile blossomed even more as she immediately pointed a hoof at him. "That's the stallion I was telling you about Bonny! The one who tipped the huge pile of bits."

Lyra's... other head? Whose name was Bonny, turned to look at him, not looking nearly as enthused as she raised an eyebrow. "You failed to mention this generous stallion of yours was an Alicorn, Lyra."

'Alicorn!?' Neil thought as he immediately panicked. He whipped his head around to look at his back, only to find his cloak wasn't there. To add insult to injury, his stupid wings choose that moment to ruffle sheepishly as if to say, 'It ain't our fault, Boss.'

As he turned back to the two-in-one pony, something wasn't adding up. "And you don't find anything odd with, well, that?" He countered, waving his hoof vaguely at where they were connected.

"I do. I mean, Bonny and I are close; really close. But this is a little ridiculous," Lyra admitted with a faint blush as she used the same hoof she pointed at him to poke at their connection.

Then, to add to Neil's confusion, a pink Earth Pony mare with vibrant yellow hair crested over a nearby roof... with a rowboat? Both oars were rowing along at a decent clip as the mare looked up into the starless sky with a dreamy expression.

Lyra also spotted her quickly broke the mare out of her daze with a greeting and a wave. "Hi Cherry!"

"Hi Lyra, Bon Bon," The mare named Cherry called back as she looked towards land, taking a break from her flight as she released the oars. The boat immediately slowed down but continued coasting at a more sedate speed. "I always knew you two were tied at the hip. Making your herd official anytime soon?"

"Why do you ask? Want to join in on the fun?" Bon Bon countered, sounding equally flirty and snarky as if this was a familiar exchange.  

"I don't know. I think I prefer to keep my back end, bits, and bum included; thank you very much." Cherry teased right back, shaking said rump at the two conjoined mares. "Besides, you know my one true love is the sky."

The three mares clearly would have enjoyed talking the night away. Something Neil would have taken advantage of to slip away if not for the blaring voice loud enough to cut through all of Ponyville.

"PONIES! THERE IS NO TIME FOR BOWING MY FRIENDS. THERE IS SOMETHING COMING. SOMETHING TERRIBLE!"

It clicked right then and there. This was a dream. Not only that, but Luna was here. Despite her misgivings, she must have succeeded. Every single pony, mare, stallion, and child were all in a dream...

"NO, IT IS ALREADY HERE!"

... With that Thing.

Neil's eyes narrowed as he felt the smoldering coals of rage reigniting in his chest. Luna's voice came from the town hall plaza. The monster was near her. And this time, he wasn't chained to the fucking ground.

Before he ran off, however, he looked at the three confused-looking mares who just had their conversation interrupted. "You three, get somewhere safe. Believe me, this thing is a fucking nightmare!"

His warning delivered, he spun around and ran back down the cramped road he came from.

"I AM SO SORRY, I BROUGHT THIS UPON YOU." Luna called out again, her voice covering all of Ponyville. "BUT I WILL END IT NOW!" 

An incomprehensible wail of amalgamated pain came after her statement, only to be followed by the distant screams of terror from regular people.

His mind raced as he galloped around the sharp corners of the tight, winding street. He didn't have any supernatural powers. He could barely even attempt to fly. What, exactly, could he do against a nightmare monster? Only for the answer to jump out at him immediately. 'Nightmares and dreams are all in your head, aren't they?'

Suddenly, as he swerved around an unusually sharp-looking corner, a realm of possibilities opened up. He could potentially do anything if a shared dream followed the same rules as a regular one. Magic, sci-fi, power armor, 'weapons'- 

He felt himself weighed down immediately as his mind jumped to the first compatible armor and weapons combination. An extra thirty to sixty pounds of perfectly fit armor coalesced around his entire form. He might have thought a sudden change like that should have been uncomfortable, except it wasn't. 

His whole body was cushioned by a gel-like substance he couldn't quite place. This included a fully enclosed helmet that blacked out his vision for a fraction of a second, only for the lens to become transparent again with a very familiar VISR start-up sequence.

Curved lines of dull gold filled his vision, forming a simple but informative HUD straight out of Halo: ODST. Grenades? Fully stocked. Weapons? His favorite combination, each indicating infinite ammo. His visor updated, flashing an urgent message underneath the scrolling compass at the top.


Objective: Find Luna.


Simple enough. Neil was already heading south towards her voice as he turned a final corner and caught sight of the plaza. Even though it was just a small piece of the overall picture, he could still see the absolute chaos as ponies ran in all directions, chased by flying vampire cupcakes, or buildings turned into monsters.

Once the severity of the situation dawned on him, the smoldering coals inside his chest burst into flame as he charged down the rest of the street and into the fray. Mimicking Lyra, Neil ignited his horn. He didn't feel anything different, but a dull gold aura burst into being just out of view of his visor. 

In the bottom right corner of his HUD, his weapon selection switched to the shotgun as two ghostly hands ripped the weapon off his back from between his wings and brought the instrument of death next to his helmet.

He had no idea how to aim a gun as a pony. But thanks to his VISR system, his targeting reticle followed wherever he aimed the barrel. So when a terrified pair of ponies swerved around him, putting him between themselves and the large, cat-like cottage with dagger-like fangs for a front door, he instinctively placed the reticle over the monster's window-shaped eye and pulled the trigger.

He not only heard but felt the dampened explosion of the shell right next to his helmet as the window shattered. The monster cottage, structural integrity be damned, immediately came to a stop as it curled in on itself. Screeching, cat-like yowls of pain emanated from the beast building, informing him that it was injured, not killed. But it wasn't chasing anything anymore, and he had more pressing matters to attend to as he ran into the chaos.

Terrified screams intermixed with various monsters' yowls, hisses, and growls. The cacophony of sounds would have been almost overwhelming if not for the dampening provided by his helmet. Not to mention the clouds of vampire cupcakes chasing pegasi through the air, the random homes coming to life, or the occasional murderous-looking lamp post with spindly, whip-like filigree arms he put out of commission. 

Still, Neil ran through it all toward the most unusual aspect of the dream. It was a bundle of white-blue ethereal threads, reaching into the sky and connecting with the moon. He knew Luna was there, not only because of the symbology between Luna and the moon but also because the diamond shaped objective marker hovered over the base of the beacon-like oddity.

The fact that the starry, house-sized amorphous form of the Tantabus was also harassing the area made it a foregone conclusion. It wasn't allowed to assault Luna with impunity, however, as the monster was being attacked from multiple angles.

Both Rainbow Dash and Celestia were attacking it from the air. Rainbow was physically punching through it with her speed as Celestia wove around the beast, firing golden lasers from multiple directions. 

At this distance, he couldn't tell, but Celestia also had some sort of staff or pole-arm circling about her, decimating anything hostile that came too close. On top of that, even more reddish-pink lasers shot holes into the Tantabus' form from below.

Neil's brief scan of the upcoming battlefield didn't come without consequence. He was brought back to the here and now as something heavy slammed into his side and pinned him to the ground. His first instinct was to thrash and kick at the creature, but whatever it was, it was big enough to pin all of his limbs. 

He could feel the barrel of his shotgun pressing against his neck, unable to move. He was sure some of his bones would have already snapped under the weight of the creature if not for his armor. 

The only thing he could do in his enraged but panicking state was wrench his head around and take a look at the monster he was at the mercy of. He first noted the gigantic, pinkish-purple paw that held him down, thankfully without claws. Following the gangly, curved, and almost cartoonishly proportioned limb, he was met with a giant gingerbread-looking building. 

Except it wasn't just a building, as the cupcake steeple leaned over the gingerbread roof. Its single circular window eye leered at him with unbridled triumph.

Images from his previous nightmare flashed in his vision. Thoughts of once more being bolted to the ground, powerless, as another monster looked at him with glee... The decorative icing just below the railing grinned, revealed many foot-long fangs. Another gangly limb, a wooden arm with a warped metal weather-vane pony as a hand reached down...

Only for a large, but blurry mint green and pale yellow bola to latch itself around the monster's neck. Neil couldn't see much more due to the gingerbread roof. Still, judging by the building's sudden wailing and choking, and the sound of hooves smashing against wood, it was caught by complete surprise from the attack. So much so that it reared back, taking a half step back before it regained its balance.

That half a step was a godsend, as Neil suddenly found himself free. Rolling onto his back, he instinctually took aim and unloaded on the beast. His first two shots each took out a window, sending shards of pink glass everywhere before the remaining seven shells were emptied into the front porch. By the time his shotgun refused to fire, the entire door was gone, along with the candy cane columns and most of the steps.

That was apparently enough, as the gingerbread house gave one last piteous whimper before the foundation slammed back down to the ground. The sound of snapping timber followed before the cupcake steeple started to sag away from him like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

as Neil slowly stood back up relishing a few deep, unrestricted breaths, he also discovered what the odd-coloured bola was. Lyra and Bon Bon, still firmly attached at the hip, hopped down from the roof and landed right in front of him. "First lesson when dealing with a Ponyville Tuesday," Bon Bon stated, her words immediately digging into him, "Never run off on your own."

"Yep! It's a lot easier getting through a Tuesday when you have a friend," Lyra seconded as she looked him over with a hint of concern. "Speaking of, are you alright? I can't imagine having Sugarcube Corner standing on you was any fun."

As he looked at the deceased building, Neil could only guess that was the business's name. While the two mares spoke, he allowed his ghostly hands to autonomously reload his shotgun. He might have been wearing the damn thing, but he had no idea where the reserve ammo was stored in his suit of armor.

"I'm fine; the armor protected me." He told them before making a sudden, rash decision based on Bon Bon's words. "If you're going to stick with me, I need to get where the Tantabus is, which is over there," He finished, pointing towards the rising threads.

"The evil-looking smokey star monster thing is called the Tantabus?" Lyra asked, looking towards the beacon.

As Lyra asked, the final shell on his ammo counter lit up, confirming his weapon was fully loaded. Neil took control of his ghost hands and, with a satisfying ka-chink, loaded another shell into the chamber. "Yep, and we need to stop it. Hurry up!"

Neil took off running towards Luna again, though he was far more cautious this time as he continuously scanned his surroundings for monsters. Nothing stood out as a direct threat, but he caught sight of a nearby, almost black pegasus stallion with a small grey foal held in his front legs doing his best to fight off a flock of vampire cupcakes. Without thought, he aimed and unloaded a shell. 

It didn't do much, but the sudden splattering of muffin remains caused all the others to scatter in confusion. Giving the stallion a slight reprieve to fly away before Neil focused on the road ahead.

The distance toward his objective counted down reasonably quickly. 250m, 200m, 100m... Strangely, the closer he was to Luna's position, the fewer monsters there seemed to be... Only to hit a veritable wall of them patrolling around the 50-meter point. Most of the monsters were facing inwards, their eyes drawn to Luna's position, allowing Neil to rush up to and fire on an animated chaise sofa. All but destroying it as he, Lyra, and Bon Bon broke through the enemy lines, much to the enemy's shock.

A matching chair and footrest tried to follow, perhaps to avenge their larger sibling, but a single shotgun shell each made quick work of them.

While Celestia, Twilight, and Rainbow kept the Tantabus occupied, the other four Elements appeared to have created a safe zone around Luna. Rarity and Applejack were the two ponies primarily keeping the monsters at bay, with the posh unicorn firing off beams of blue energy or diamond shards at the various monsters. Applejack preferred to be up close and personal, taking on any groups willing to push the line with kicks strong enough to dent his armor and multiple conjured lassos.

On the other hand, Fluttershy and the pink mare would fly off or just vanish. Only to return a short time later with another pony or two, adding to the growing crowd. As Neil, Bon Bon, and Lyra trotted up to the townsfolk, Fluttershy flew over them, leading the pegasus stallion and his foal from earlier.

Unfortunately, that looked to be the only good news. Luna was surrounded by some sort of translucent bubble ward. She appeared to be under severe strain if the sweat dripping down her brow was any indication. An untold number of ethereal threads were connected to her, all centred on the tip of her horn as she focused. However, her unblinking eyes were locked onto the Tantabus' position. 

The VISR system chimed, startling him briefly before text flashed underneath the compass again.


Checkpoint... done.
You have reached Princess Luna.
Hold position. Defend the Princess. Defeat the Tantabus.


.... Easier said than done, after what the ponies used against it. If lasers and physical attacks didn't do anything, what would ballistic weaponry do to the Tantabus? Tickle it?

Neil put that thought aside for now. Three of the Elements were gathering around Twilight, and he could see both Rainbow and Applejack coming into the safe zone at a distance. Something big was happening if the line was left practically unguarded except for a few of the braver citizens... including a large red Alicorn decked in gold and jewels while flying about and blasting vampire muffins.

As much as he wanted to listen in on their plan, he also knew one of his objectives was to hold the line. Besides, his bullets still worked on the minions, at least. And he would need a lot of bullets, as he switched the shotgun out for his favorite weapon from the very first game, the 'ol spray and pray battle rifle.

Glancing to the side, he was slightly surprised to see Lyra and Bon Bon still there before looking back at the prowling animated monstrosities. "You can rejoin the townsfolk if you want. Maybe see what the Elements are planning?" 

"And leave you alone again? I don't think so." Bon Bon countered as she and Lyra took positions near himself and Luna.

"Suit yourself. Just cover your ears or something," Was all the warning Neil gave as he spotted a pair of quadrupedal dresses slip over the line. It was as simple as pointing the gun and pulling the trigger. Allowing the rifle to do what it does best, as it riddled the dresses and an unlucky armoire behind them full of holes.

Many of the monstrous eyes staring at him looked a little less bloodthirsty and a little more wary as he allowed his hands to automatically load a new clip. He didn't dare look back to see how the ponies reacted.

"... Know when it's able to escape?" The voice of Applejack suddenly fed through Neil's helmet. It sounded a little tinny, but having her voice come out of nowhere still shocked him.

Rainbow Dash was the second to speak, sounding worried. "Oh, I think we'll know."

It was the pained grunt from Luna that finally convinced Neil to look around. A giant gash marred the starless sky, allowing bright light to pour in from an unknown source. Rarity quickly fired a beam at it, sealing the rift almost immediately. But it was clear to Neil. Too much of that, and Luna would lose control of the dream.

Celestia was fighting with the beast currently, keeping it occupied as Luna called out, "HURRY MY FRIENDS!"

Once more Neil was very glad that his helmet had automated sound dampening.

Rainbow quickly flew off and engaged the Tantabus again while Twilight fired off supporting lasers to help keep it occupied. Seeing they were back in the fight, Neil turned to the line again. He was happy and a little annoyed to see that no monster was willing to cross the line.

Fluttershy's voice was the next to come through his speaker as he finished his first sweep across no-man's land. "Please, we need your help too!"

Twilight's voice followed almost immediately, backing her up. "Fluttershy's right. We've all got to work together to stop it from escaping!"

Neil was half expecting someone else to talk, but nothing came through for at least ten seconds before Rainbow's voice came through. "That's true, in Ponyville!"

By then, Neil was reasonably sure he was missing a good chunk of the conversation. But why? Why could he only pick up the Elements on his radio and no one else?

"But this here isn't Ponyville," Applejack continued, building upon Rainbow's statement. "It's a dream."

"And not just any; this is your dream. Anything you can do in your dreams, you can do now!" Twilight affirmed with quite a bit of force behind her words.

What followed next confused Neil as he heard the roar of a giant... kitten? His curiosity got the better of him as he turned around a second time, only to be dumbfounded by what he saw. Spike, the little lizard dude, was not so little anymore. Now, he was dressed in knight's armor and launching into the air on the back of a giant grey pegasus with offset golden eyes.

Half the townsfolk were cheering with renewed morale as things started to get wild.

In contrast, a frustrated roar blanketed the entirety of the dream as the Tantabus rippled... in anger? Fear? Neil had no idea, but it felt as if something changed. It sped away from Celestia, outpacing the Alicorn as it circled around the town at speeds he'd only seen Rainbow accomplish. Once it was far enough away, a pseudo-pod sprung out of its mass in the shape of scissors and cut another tear into the sky.

Celestia was too far away to prevent its escape, and Neil had nothing designed to fire at that range. For a moment, it looked as if the Tantabus had the perfect opportunity to slip into the newly formed tear and escape.

It was Spike, armed with a jousting lance and his mighty pegasus steed, that saved the day as they swooped up from below. The lance easily tore through the Tantabus, nearly ripping it entirely in half before the monster recoiled away and reformed into a single mass.

Reinforcements had also arrived in the form of a stallion riding a wave of gold coins. Once the stallion interposed himself between the Tantabus and the rift, he simply raised a hoof and released an absolute torrent of gold coins, blasting the beast away with the strength of a fire hose.

Seeing its opportunity lost, the Tantabus ignored the pests around it. The monster formed a second claw-like appendage to tear another gap into the sky. This time a little orange foal with giant wings simply blew away the inky mass before Rainbow of all ponies flew up next to her and... transformed into a superhero before sucking it into a tornado? Ponies had those?

All the while, Rarity was solely focused on the various tears. Stitching each up with a giant needle and thread, which she conjured and controlled with expert ease.

"It's working!" Rainbow's cheer rang through his helmet. 

Neil had to admit, even he was feeling better about their odds as he watched the tornado spin on the opposite side of the plaza.

Only for a worried Twilight to cut in, "But it's not enough!"

She was, unfortunately, correct as the Tantabus extricated itself with a bloodcurdling roar.

"Then do more!" The normally happy-sounding pink mare urged from right beside Neil, shocking him. He hadn't even noticed the mare walk up to him! "This is a dream, remember?"

She then gave him a smile and bounced... somewhere out of sight. Pushing that out of his mind, she was right. This was a dream. And while an ODST was the best of the best, not including Spartans and their horrific augmentations and genetic experimentation, he could think of one thing better.

Seconds later, the earth shook as a sixty-plus-tonne scorpion tank landed beside him. Gasps followed, coming from the few remaining ponies unwilling to fight. Neil had to blink, amazed at how it worked... before an uncontrolled giddiness took over. He leapt onto the armour plating of the tank and dove into the cockpit without a thought. An actual chance to drive a (relatively) real scorpion tank!

The metal cage came down automatically, and the roar of an engine that matched the Tantabus' worst overwhelmed his speakers momentarily. And then, as if to add a cherry on top of the scorpion's turret, an artificial female voice spoke.

"Hello, and thank you for activating the M808 Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila."

Neil would forever deny that he squeed as his golden hands went on autopilot for him. They took hold of the human-styled controls and quickly sorted through the proper start-up sequence for him. Sadly, that cut off Sheila's tutorial, but he didn't have time for that.

"I CAN NOT HOLD THIS DREAM TOGETHER MUCH LONGER!" Luna cried out in agony. This distracted Neil from his exciting new toy, only to see tears falling down Luna's pained face. "EQUESTRIA WILL FALL... BECAUSE OF ME AND MY WEAKNESS!"

Neil immediately thought that by summoning weapons, superpowers, and otherwise powering themselves up, everyone put too much strain on Luna's control. However, that thought was just as quickly pushed aside as the sky behind Luna darkened into a starry void as the Tantabus, once the size of a building, now grew in size to match the entire fucking town!

Not only that, but its amorphous form was shifting. It was becoming less of a blob... and more like the form it took at the end of his previous dream, as a horn sprouted from its half-formed head.

Twilight landed beside his tank, ignoring him as she spoke over the rumbling engine. "I think it's feeding off your guilt, Princess Luna!"

Even if she only had seconds to come up with her theory, Neil couldn't deny it as he watched the Tantabus' new horn rip another gash into the remaining untainted sky. But he couldn't sit back and listen, either, as he kept his eyes and the targeting reticle locked onto the Tantabus' head while his hands activated the turret.

Celestia was still trying to fight the beast, firing beams of golden light against the darkness. Unfortunately, by that point, she was little more than a gnat compared to both its size and power.

"If that is so, then perhaps that is how it grew strong enough to escape in the first place," Luna admitted as the gears controlling the scorpion's turret finally stopped. However, her strange admission started the gears in Neil's head, almost distracting him from his main focus.

Thankfully, it only took a small, almost insignificant thought for his ghost hands to pull the trigger.

BOOM!

The main gun fired, leaving a trail of smoke for every single pony in the dream to follow as the tank shell ripped through and completely severed the Tantabus' horn from its head. The following bellow of pain was somehow even louder than the tank shot, as the lesser cloud that was once a horn fell from the tear and back into the dream as a formless blob. Even in pain, the monster still had the frame of mind to catch and reabsorb the piece with one of its pseudo-hooves.

A new horn quickly replaced the old one before the next shell was loaded.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Neil yelled, his thoughts frayed by both her admission and the apparent ineffectiveness of his tank.

Whether it was the shock of the tank firing or the strain of the dream itself, Neil didn't know or care. But for some reason, Luna heard his demand and answered him. "I created the Tantabus to give myself the same nightmare every night. To punish myself for the evil I caused as Nightmare Moon."

"But why would you do that?" Twilight asked in a more concerned and sympathetic tone.

"To make sure I never forgave myself," She admitted, her voice strained from the pressure of the dream. "For how much Equestria suffered because of me. It seems I have not learned my lesson; for now, I have only made you suffer more."

"You fucking think so!?" Neil yelled as he kept his eyes on the Tantabus, watching as it and the hole it tore into the sky swelled in size with every word Luna spoke. A second resounding BOOM! shook the town as he fired another round where its eye should have been. It blew a hole through the monster's head, inadvertently creating an eye hole too small for its form, but it did little else. 

Frustrated, he slammed his armored hoof on the marked cage release button. The protective cage sprung into its open position with a loud clang, allowing Neil to abandon the still-running tank and jump to the ground next to Twilight. 

By that point, Luna had almost collapsed under the strain. Tears streaming out of her closed eyes. It was a pathetic sight, to be sure, but at that moment, Neil only saw the creator of the Tantabus. "So because of a fuck-up one thousand years ago, you decided to repeat the same damn mistake and create that fucking thing? To torture yourself? How does that make any fucking sense!?"

Slowly, her eyes opened up, and she looked directly at him. However, even that small action seemed to be a trade-off, as her back legs lost their strength to stay upright and collapsed. "You're right... How can I forgive myself? I am no better now than I was then. My creation is about to turn the world into a living nightmare!"

Once more, as if the suit sensed his boiling anger at the mare before him, it flashed his objectives underneath the compass.


Hold position. Defend the Princess. Defeat the Tantabus.


The reminder may have been subtle, but it was needed as it caused a fracture in his anger. Was this beaten, downtrodden, whimpering mess of a mare before him really a princess? Where was the Imperial Bitch that demanded his obedience and respect? Where was her holier-than-thou attitude and the power to raise the moon?

"Like hell, it will!" He lashed back at her, causing her eyes to grow even wider. "What? Are you going to give up now? Are you going to allow that Thing to molest every single innocent mare, stallion, and foal in Equestria? Or are you going to man up, learn from your stupid fucking mistakes, and put that piss ass monster in its place!?"

"Yeah, you just got to stop feeling bad about what you did!" Rainbow added, landing right next to him. Neil wasn't sure how much she heard over the idling tank engine. Still, she decided to back him in a more positive fashion, at the very least.

On the other hand, Twilight had heard everything he said. If not for the situation, Neil was sure she would have glared at him the entire time. Instead, she took advantage of Rainbow's uplifting message as all the Elements gathered around her. "Look at what you're doing! Nightmare Moon would have wanted the Tantabus to turn Equestria into a nightmare. You're doing everything you can to stop it! Don't you see? That-"

BOOM! Another tank shell fired, causing Neil to spin around with a loud "Fuck!"

He expected to see a tank with an empty cockpit, possibly under the full control of Sheila's AI system. Instead, two foals were clamoring around in the seat while the small orange pegasus with her gigantic wings sat on the cage. "You missed!"

One of the foals in the seat with a country accent yelled back at her, "I don't know how to aim this thing!" Unfortunately for them, the tank turret was still aimed at head height, so the shell passed well over the Tantabus' hips.

Neil felt the urge to berate Luna some more. But between that and preventing an unintended death like Church, Neil felt the latter was more important as he jumped back onto the tank. "I need you three to get out of my tank. Now." He asked as politely as he could, suppressing as much of his anger from his voice as possible.

As he did so, he heard the conclusion of Twilight's little speech through his radio over the collective, disappointed Awww from the three fillies. "Everypony here knows that Nightmare Moon is in the past. We all trust you, Luna... Do you trust us?"

"... I do."

It was so simple. So easy. With only those two words, the Tantabus let out a confused shriek. Then, before anyone could even fathom what was going on, the Tantabus was shunted back into the dream as if they were an annoying pet being pushed back inside before the door, or rift in this case, closed on them.

Celestia, pulling on a telekinetic lasso attached to the base of the Tantabus' tail with all of her strength, was entirely caught off guard by the sudden shift as the Tantabus' rump slammed into and pushed her back instead.

And the cherry on top? When the Tantabus looked back towards the town in confusion, with a single, too-small eye and a jagged, fanged mouth, a final BOOM! cut through the town. The shell impacted the Tantabus, but unlike the others, it exploded on contact instead of passing through it's ethereal skin. Creating an even larger eye amid the smoke cloud that looked particularly dopey.

"I hit it, I hit it! Did you see that?" The white unicorn filly cheered with a squeaky voice, ecstatic at her accomplishment. Only for Neil's golden hands to scoop her up and place her outside the tank's cockpit for a second time. They must have somehow switched from armor-piercing to high explosive during their fiddling. Something he didn't think was possible with the scorpion.

By the time he collected all three of the fillies and put them well away from the cockpit (and the machine gun turret), the Tantabus was little more than a pony-sized speck in the distance. Neil was still wary, however, as it flew towards them with Celestia nipping at its heels. That was the only reason preventing him from putting one final round down range and finishing the thing off for good.

Instead, to prevent any further accidents, he gave one of the giant treads a firm pat. This earned him odd looks from the Elements and the surrounding townsfolk, but he didn't care. "It's been good working with you, Sheila."

"Thank you, PMC Davidson. It's been a pleasure to work with you as well." The tank blared through its speakers, shocking some ponies and confusing others. 

Neil was both mildly shocked and annoyed that the tank knew his last name and that it was stated out loud for all the ponies to hear. But, he intended to finish what he started. So he closed his eyes and focused on vanishing the sixty-ish tonnes of death from the dream before something else could happen. It took a few seconds, but he knew it worked when the loud rumbling of the engine suddenly ceased.

When he opened his eyes, the tank was gone. Vanished into thin air, or whatever held this dream together. With one less risk to worry about, he turned around. Even though it was a span of seconds, Luna was already looking better. Sure, the fur on her face was matted with tears, and multiple pieces of her royal finery were sitting lopsided, but she was standing upright, relatively speaking while hovering inside her bubble.

As he looked around to see how the rest of the ponies were doing, he quickly picked out a pair of eyes looking at him with nothing less than contempt that belonged to none other than Twilight. The moment his visor paused on her, she stepped towards him. 

"Do you know what you could have done, saying all those mean things towards Princess Luna?" she asked, not loudly, but loud enough to catch a few of the closer townsfolk off guard with her accusation. "If not for Rainbow-"

Luna was quick to intervene. She sounded tired, but there was a firmness to her words that made Twilight stop. "Hold, please, Princess Twilight, before something is said that we all may regret. Neil's words were harsh, but they were truthful. I needed to hear them just as much as I needed to hear about your trust in me in order to... What was it you said? Man up?"

"Yes," Neil confirmed, giving Twilight one last look before turning to Luna. "But that still doesn't make up for the fact that you created that fuc- Ouch!" He cried as a hoof hit him square in the back of the head. Pushing the unconnected data port built into the back of his helmet into the base of his neck.

"What did I say about swearin' in front'a the foals, Neil?" Asked an irate and tired voice with a very familiar country twang. "Or is it Davidson now? Either way, you've earned yourself a thorough scrubbin' when we wake up."

Ripping off his helmet with a ghostly hand, Neil turned to see Bulk standing in his natural colour. He was still wearing his golden armor, but most, if not all of it, was smeared with cupcake icing, half-cooked batter, and chunks of baked goods. He was also sporting a very long, pointy tan upgrade, adding him to the small but growing ranks of Alicorns stallions... at least in this dream.

"I was wondering where you went," Neil fibbed a little as he rubbed the spot where the data port gouged him. In truth, once he realized this was a shared dream, he assumed Bulk was the only pony left awake to guard the door to Twilight's bedroom.

"I was patrollin' the area with my cousin, keepin' as much of those flyin' varmints away as I could," He stated before looking to the Elements, and Applejack in particular, as he gave her a slight nod. "Good evenin' Cousin."

"I wasn't expectin' to see you, Bulk, but boy howdy I'm mighty glad you're here." Applejack returned in kind with a big smile. "How's the family up in Manehattan?"

Before the scene could devolve into pleasantries, Luna stood up even taller and with more authority as she looked to the north. She kept her smile, however, as the Tantabus... not flew, but hovered over the crowd of ponies towards Luna under Celestia's watchful eye. It came to a complete stop only a foot from Luna's shield.

Neither spoke, though Neil was sure the Tantabus couldn't talk in its natural form. The urge to pull his battle rifle from his back and riddle the thing full of holes was also there. Even if it was useless, Neil knew it would have felt gratifying. But he held. Contrary to what Twilight said, he didn't trust Luna, not really, at least. But this was her creation, so he could give her the benefit of the doubt, for now.

Ultimately, his wariness went unwarranted as the void Alicorn walked into Luna's shield and... dissolved itself in light? That's what appeared to have happened until it was gone entirely. At which point, the moon on Luna's peytral flashed a bright white.

"Thank you. Thank you all!" Luna cheered over the crowd as a softer light emanated from her horn. The ethereal strings started to disconnect rapidly from her horn. And with each string that faded out of existence, so too did one of the Ponyville townsfolk. Even Lyra and Bon Bon, though they faded away together. Neil suspected it wouldn't have been a pretty sight if only one had faded away. 

By the time all of Ponyville was evacuated from the dream, he was expecting to see the Elements fade away. Or to see how it looked and felt to be removed himself. Instead, the light dimmed from Luna's horn, leaving exactly nine threads left tethered. Six for the Elements, one for Celestia, and two for himself and Bulk.

"Now, before I release you all," Luna began, looking over each of the remaining ponies in the dream before she paused on him. "I believe there are some topics that need to be discussed."

"Oh, oh! Is it a We-Defeated-the-Tantabus-and-Luna-Doesn't-Feel-Guilty-Anymore party?" The pink mare asked, bouncing in place with the springy sound effects included.

"A party sounds wonderful, Pinkie Pie," Celestia cut in while finally giving him the name of the final Element. "But I think my sister Luna was talking about the Alicorn stallion in the room, as they say."

All eyes shifted to him, while Neil did his best to ignore that and looked to Bulk... who was back to being a regular Pegasus guard with pristine, sparkling armor.

"Are we talking about the whole don't tell anyone about me rule?" He asked, knowing his chances of escaping the upcoming Q&A session were slim to none. "The one you two in particular keep breaking?" He finished, looking directly at Celestia and Luna.

"That is one of the topics," Celestia admitted, slightly glancing toward Rainbow Dash. "Though I was curious about the loud war machine you created in defence of my sister."

"Or which of your names is your real one," Rarity jumped in, surprisingly. "Is it Neil or Davidson?"

"Or what's the meaning behind your strange cutie-mark?" Twilight asked as well, pointing to his butt.

Even in full armor, he couldn't escape the wandering eyes of a mare. But a cutie mark? His curiosity piqued, Neil looked to his own flank. There, emblazoned in gold against the dark steel grey of his armor, was the outline of an ODST drop pod. Not only that but etched into the gold was a flaming human skull and a ribbon, which proudly displayed ODST.

"That's the ODST insignia." He told her bluntly.

"And what does O.D.S.T. stand for?" She followed up immediately.

Before Neil could even contemplate an appropriate answer, another pony responded to the question for him as she popped up next to Twilight. "Silly filly! Everypony knows it stands for Orbital Drop Shock Troopers, some of the most elite United Nations Space Command soldiers. Riding in a drop pod would be super fun!" She cheered, jumping high into the air... only to come crashing back down next to him hard enough that he felt it through the ground. She didn't even flinch. "...Even if I don't like the one in fifty odds of burning up during reentry. Anyway, which name is your real one, Neilie?"

If this wasn't a dream, Neil was pretty sure those super-human feats would have scared the piss out of him. But, the fact that she knew that much about a sci-fi series that didn't even exist in Equestria? That made him wary of the mare as her face loomed closer to his. He was forced to take a step back, his confused mind partially reeling from the fact she knew all of that about Halo but didn't know about his name.

"Both," He admitted, sidestepping closer to Bulk. "Neil is my first name. Davidson is my last name."

"Ohhhhh. Okay. Well, I'm Pinkie Pie." Pinkie offered, ignoring what little of his personal space he had left as she bounced beside him and hugged his armored neck. "Pinkie is my first name, and all my friends call me Pinkie, and you can call me Pinkie too!" But then, her mane seemed to deflate just a little as she got in really close. "Unless you go all Meanie McMeanie Pants again." She whispered.

Before he could answer, she bounced away, emulating a prong-horned antelope perfectly as she landed next to Fluttershy.

After a second or two of silence, Celestia cleared her throat, bringing most of the attention back to her. "And that machine?"

Neil just pointed to the unimaginable being in the form of a pink Earth Pony. "Same as the armor and everything she just said. It's all fiction, just part of a story I enjoy."

"Fiction? Does that mean you like to read?" Twilight asked, any traces of confusion, anger, and suspicion being replaces with a cautious curiosity.

This earned a melodious little chuckle from Celestia. "Neil has spent most of his days in the castle doing nothing but reading. It reminds me of a certain young filly I used to teach." She teased, looking at Twilight.

Despite the light blush peeking through her fur, Twilight was now staring at him. Almost as if she was analyzing him. For a mare that hated his guts just minutes ago, Neil was feeling even more nervous about the desire for knowledge now smoldering underneath her purple eyes.

'Waking up in the same room as her is going to suck.'
> 9. Dreamy Aftermath Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 26th: 10th Day Since Capture)

"...is ready. Could you please wake up?"

Neil groaned as the hazy transition between sleep and wakefulness slowly cleared away. Enough for him to recognize that the muffled sounds his ears managed to pick up were, indeed, soft-spoken words and not random noises. That, complemented by a gentle touch against his shoulder, was more than enough to drag him reluctantly into the waking world. 

"Um, Mr. Neil?" The soft voice spoke again, sounding vaguely familiar though he couldn't place where from.

"Whassa fugs goin'..." Was his attempted response, only to find his muzzle's movement somewhat restricted? The urge to yawn also compounded that problem, as his muzzle opened as far as it could while wedged between his body and one of his limbs. Once that autonomous body function finished as best it could, so did he, "On?"

He cautiously opened his eyes, half expecting the morning light to blind him as usual. Instead, the world was surprisingly dark, something he was more than thankful for, given how off his body felt. His muscles felt sluggish like he'd stayed up far too long playing video games the previous night, only to get three, maybe four hours of sleep before work.

But that begged the question: Why would he be woken up that early? His mind shifted to the events of the previous night. Was it something to do with the Tantabus? In fact, why couldn't he see the mare talking to him? Why did the darkness surrounding him also feel off? Was he still in a dream?

"Um, sorry to bother you, Mr. Neil, but breakfast is ready." The voice informed him quietly, sounding both nervous and worried at the same time. Why? A mild hint of worry sparked in his mind as he wondered what would cause her to sound like that. 

"I was wondering, along with the rest of the girls, that is, if you would like some while it's still warm?"

While the offer of food was always tempting, Neil's sore muscles felt rather apathetic to the thought of moving. His stomach, however, was quick to rail against the idea of lazing about. It went on the warpath with a threatening murmur that seemed to rally other parts of his body into wakefulness. 

His bladder, chief among them, demanded his attention immediately. With his body rebelling against him, his desire to stay in bed had lost the short but brutal war. Now, it was replaced with the need to go to the bathroom.

He withdrew his muzzle from where it was stuck but was mildly surprised to feel his ears brush against... feathers. It wasn't a blanket; he was reasonably sure about that since he only felt his cloak on his back. Looking up in the not-quite-darkness, he could make out the faint lines denoting the separation between the various feathers on his wing.

'Huh, built-in sleeping bag. Where the hell were you in the streets, wings?' He thought before focusing on the desire for his wings to fold back into place, preferably without getting tangled up with his cloak. Once that not-so-strenuous task was complete, he automatically grabbed his cloak with his mouth, ignoring the distinct taste of grass and dirt, and covered his wings with the garment.

The entire time, a yellow and pink pegasus mare waited quietly near the circle of beds... 'Fluttershy', was the name mentioned last night. At least, Neil was pretty sure that was her name as he looked in her direction.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked, somewhat absentmindedly, as he dragged himself to the edge of the bed. He'd rather not admit it, but he was feeling starved. Besides the breakfast he had lost, his only other meal yesterday had been when Rainbow stopped his training for a single lunch break. Even though she mentioned getting him a Twilight-sized meal, it was slightly less than he had expected.

"Oh, Pinkie and Spike made us all pancakes with whipped cream, fruit, and syrup," She happily chirped before she paused, then added, "If that's okay with you?"

He may have had pancakes yesterday, but Neil wouldn't pass up the opportunity again. Whatever witchcraft ponies used in their cooking, Neil was more than willing to admit he had an addiction. His stomach showed its agreement with another growl of approval. He only hoped he wouldn't have to re-experience it later today.

Once he reached the edge of the bed, he firmly placed both front hooves on the crystal and lifted his front half, forcefully stretching his muscles and joints with a few faint pops. Only after that did he notice something below that made his heart skip a beat. Unlike all the other beds in the room, a faint orange glow emanated from multiple shapes on the floor surrounding his.

Two quick memories from yesterday flashed in his mind. The first was Twilight drawing something around one of the beds with her aura. Incidentally, that bed and the one he was currently lying on were the same. The second memory was from the middle of the night, during Luna's controlled descent amidst a glowing orange ambiance from... somewhere.

That only sparked more thoughts and questions. Why were they glowing? Was this what a ward looked like? And most important of all, what were they doing? Pulling his eyes from the glowing mystical shapes, he looked to the only other pony in the room for an answer. "Do you know anything about this?"

She was quick to respond, both verbally and non-verbally, as she shrunk into herself a little. "I don't, sorry. I think Twilight said it was a spell for chaos magic, but I'm not sure. I could bring her up if you want me to?"

A ward against chaos magic? As in Eris? Were they worried about her meddling while taking on the Tantabus? If that was the case, why only his bed? He couldn't remember seeing them around any other bed during the night. 

But, the most important question on his mind was, why did she flinch? Was she worried he might do something if her answer wasn't good enough?.. Was she worried he might do something this entire time? 

Neil shook his head. After only being awake for over a minute, he had far too many tangents running through his mind. Plus, the thought of dealing with a princess this early in the morning didn't sit well with him. "No need to bring her up here," He offered, lifting a single hoof and stretching as far as he could in front of him.

If she was lying and this was some sort of force field to keep him trapped, it would likely activate the moment his hoof reached the outer edge of the symbols. If it did, Neil hoped it would activate as a simple, solid wall without the painful shock or worse. His hoof neared the edge... and then passed over the invisible line without resistance. A small amount of relief swelled in his chest. He wasn't trapped in that regard, at least.

Nothing at all happened until he stood up from the bed and removed his final hoof. There wasn't a sudden flare of energy or, thankfully, a sudden feeling of intense pain to indicate his body had just been bisected. The orange glow stopped, leaving behind well-drawn symbols in black marker on the crystal floor. 

That didn't stop Neil from hopping his back half over the perimeter like a startled jackrabbit, just in case. The sudden movement also inadvertently cracked his spine and hips with a few audible pops, followed by the clack of hooves landing on the crystal floor.

At least he was free from whatever ward that was, as Neil quickly looked over his cloak. Everything was covered, but the jump made it a little lopsided again, so he fixed it. He also noted that Fluttershy stood quietly to the side the entire time, watching him around her long pink bangs. 

There wasn't much he could do about it, however. She already knew he was an Alicorn. The entire group of Elements knew after the events from the previous night.

Once his adjustments to his cloak were finished, he quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts and focused on the door. "We might as well get this over with," He offered begrudgingly, a little put off at the thought of eating with the entire group. 

Without waiting for a reply from the Pegasus, he started walking towards the door. 

Fluttershy gave him a slight nod from underneath her veil of hair and joined him as he walked by. 

Neil was a little over halfway across the room when an errant glance caught sight of someone who made him pause. In between the circle of beds, sleeping at the center, was the one pony he wanted to see the least that morning. Luna was practically sprawled out on the floor, with only a few cushions propped underneath her for comfort.

The embers that had gone dormant after the Tantabus' defeat stirred to life once more. She had been the one to create that fucking thing. She had been the one to lose control and torment others with her mistakes. And now she was sleeping with a smile of contentment plastered over her smug muzzle?

Neil glared at the unconscious princess. He was sorely tempted to wake her and lash out against the mare again, but he didn't. Despite his annoyance, he couldn't help but pity her as well. He experienced a single graphic night under the tender mercies of the Tantabus. 

She lasted under her self-inflicted torture for much longer- possibly even an eternity if a person's perception of time could be altered in a dream.

He probably would have spent more time glaring at Luna if not for the gentle hoof that pressed against his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Neil answered, a little louder than he meant to before he covered the rest of the distance towards the closed crystal doors.

As neither he nor Fluttershy had access to a working unicorn horn, Neil expected the doors to be quite heavy as he paused in front of them. To his surprise, instead of the hundreds of pounds of force he was expecting to use when he pressed a hoof against one of them, the door swung open with only the lightest touch. 

He didn't waste any time pushing past the door and into the hallway, only holding the door long enough for Fluttershy to follow him through with a faint 'Thank you' before allowing the door to swing itself shut.

He was immediately met with another, more mild surprise, though a welcome one, as the sound of metal-clad hooves came up to him on his right. "Mornin' Neil. Or do you prefer Davidson now?"

Neil had a morning greeting, but it was cut short by an unexpected question. However, Bulk inadvertently confirmed that his vivid dream about Ponyville was truly a shared dream. Otherwise, Bulk wouldn't have learned about his last name. "Neil's good," He answered after taking a moment to regain his composure.

Bulk gave an affirmative nod, then fell in on his right side, which was standard procedure for the Pegasus guard.

After that, all Neil had to do was wait for Fluttershy to take the lead and direct them towards breakfast. However, after five to ten seconds of standing in the hallway, it was clear that the Pegasus mare was content to stand by and allow another person to lead. 

Knowing that Neil shrugged and took the only path he knew, which led to the stairway going down to the first floor. Fluttershy followed quickly, staying at least a few body lengths to his left.

"Fluttershy, is there a bathroom on the way to..." He paused, trying to recall if they passed a dining hall or something similar yesterday, "Wherever it is we're going?"

"Oh, yes, there is." She answered, gesturing ahead of them with a hoof. "It's just down the hall from here."

That was good to know, though he couldn't remember seeing a sign or a label stating there was a bathroom yesterday. Mentally shrugging, he continued down the hall, trusting that Fluttershy would point it out.

"I would also suggest a shower," Bulk added, glancing at Neil's dirty cloak. "After all that movin' yesterday, we both could use one."

Neil didn't give Bulk an immediate answer. Still, after a surreptitious sniff as he nudged his cloak, he couldn't deny the accusation either.

It wasn't long after that before Fluttershy called their little group to a halt. By then, they had passed roughly ten unmarked crystal doors. As they were about to walk by the eleventh door, Fluttershy pointed towards it with a wing. "Well... this is the bathroom. Should I, um, wait for you?"

"There's no need for that," Neil quickly answered. He honestly didn't expect the shy mare to do anything untoward. But, after dealing with the nurses in the castle, he'd rather not have any mares nearby. Besides, it wasn't fair to let her breakfast go cold. "You can go have your breakfast while it's still warm. Just, where is it exactly?"

"Oh, sorry!" She quickly apologized, as if she had committed a heinous crime before telling him and Bulk. "We normally have breakfast in the map room."

"The map room," Bulk confirmed, giving the mare an appreciative nod. "Don't you worry, Miss Fluttershy, I'll get him there soon enough."

After giving his word, Bulk veered off from his flank and opened the unmarked door. With a quick farewell nod to Fluttershy, Neil entered the larger-than-average bathroom.


~~~


Twenty minutes later, a clean and refreshed, if slightly embarrassed Neil was escorted out of the bathroom by an equally fresh Bulk. When he entered the room made entirely of crystal, he had expected something bold and grand. Unfortunately, that was precisely what he received, just not in the manner that he expected. 

Instead of, perhaps, private stalls bejeweled in opulence, he was met with yet another sizeable communal shower. Only this one was twice as spacious as the one in his infirmary. 

To save time, he and Bulk shared the shower. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem. One does not play hockey without getting used to locker rooms and group showers. But Bulk insisted on scrubbing them both down. Even worse, he somehow wielded the bar of soap as if it were a cheese grater, making the entire process uncomfortable. The only upside was that he no longer smelled like stale sweat.

Sadly, there wasn't much to be done for his cloak or Bulk's armor.

So, adorned in his dirty cloak but otherwise cleaned and groomed, Neil stood before a set of green crystal double doors. They were twice as tall as the other generic doors throughout the castle. The crystal they were made from appeared to be soundproof as well since he couldn't hear anything coming from the room on the other side. But, thanks to the windows along the staircase looking into the map room, he knew at least three other ponies were inside. 

All of whom, he recognized from yesterday's events, and now knew about his secret. Most importantly, there was food available. 

With only a hint of trepidation, Neil took a deep breath, released it, and pushed open the door. No sound emitted from the hinges as the door swung open, allowing him to silently enter. Only the faint taps of his hooves against the crystal and the fact that Rarity had a perfect view of the door gave away his not-so-grand entrance.

Rarity was quick to react as he walked into the room. She daintily put aside the fork she held in her aura, only for a cloth napkin to levitate up to her muzzle simultaneously. After a few quick dabs, she called out to him. "Good morning Neil!"

Neil gave her a quick "Morning" in return, though he was slightly confused. Yesterday, Rarity had greeted both him and Bulk with elated professionalism. So why would she ignore his guard this morning? A quick look around revealed that Bulk was nowhere to be seen. His guard hadn't entered the room with him.

He was alone in the room, except for the three mares seated at the crystal table. It was not the worst situation he'd ever been in so far- but he didn't know what to expect. The table was fairly cluttered, with books, boxes, and plates stacked high with pancakes (two stacks were nearly triple the size of the others). 

Unfortunately, he also couldn't just stand there all day, either. So he approached and claimed the nearest empty seat.

Thinking of it as a simple seat was underselling it a bit. Each place to sit around the table was no less than a crystal throne, each adorned with an emblem tied to a single pony. Looking up and behind him, he was mildly surprised to see he had claimed Rainbow's seat at the table. 

He would have guessed Rainbow would have preferred a much firmer cushion unless all the thrones were as plush as this one.

His attention was drawn back to the table when the faint but distinct sound of crystal tinged beside him. Twilight's reddish aura was slowly dissipating from one of the giant stacks of pancakes placed right in front of him, along with an accompanying set of cutlery wrapped in a cloth napkin. Also, a white box with a pink envelope on top had been placed well within reach to his left.

Despite that, Twilight acted as if she was oblivious to everything but the open book she had propped up against her pile of academic texts. Her eyes darted back and forth over the contents, skimming it before flipping to the next page. She was still eating, but judging by the loaded fork floating by her side, it was a distant thought at most.

She appeared to be distracted, but Neil was still a little cautious. She was perceptive enough to pass his breakfast over to him.

Neil might have taken more time to gauge the princess' strange mood, but the scent of pancakes and fruit lured him and his stomach to the main reason he was there. He couldn't deny the dish looked good, with whipped cream and various fruits decoratively topping the stack and dark brown syrup drizzled along the sides. He was very tempted to throw etiquette out the window and just take a bite... But, he restrained himself and extended both wings from underneath his cloak. 

He cautiously used his feathers to unwrap the silverware from the cloth napkin they were held in. It made sense to take his time and do things properly. That way, he wouldn't look like a complete idiot or, worse, garner looks of pity from the mares who weren't nose-deep in a book. It was during that task that Rarity decided to address him. 

"Neil, if I may ask, how are you doing this morning?" She asked politely, in an apparent attempt to start a conversation.

Neil paused in his task, the fork partially withdrawn from its cloth prison as he thought of an adequate answer. "Tired, but fine. Why?" He asked in return.

"Well, as Rainbow so gingerly put it the day before, this was your first experience dealing with a threat to Equestria." Rarity admitted, sounding genuinely concerned. "I'm just a little worried about your well-being, Darling."

"Eh," He deflected as he removed the butter knife and transferred it to his other wing, "I wouldn't even call that shared dream thing a nightmare. Again, I'm fine," He stated with a hint of finality as he placed the still-rolled napkin and spoon on the table.

Thankfully, that seemed to... not assuage Rarity and Fluttershy's shared look of worry, but at least keep them from talking about that as he finally dug into his breakfast. 

The moment from his first bite, both his mind and stomach were in agreement. These pancakes were glorious with their multiple complementary layers of sweetness, whether from the whipped cream, syrup, or the pancakes themselves. 

All the while, there was a savory hint mixed in that he couldn't place until his fourth bite when he caught sight of something both small and pink in the pancakes. Some sort of shredded herb he couldn't identify, which he spotted multiple times now that he knew what to look for as he demolished his breakfast.

He was so lost in the flavors that he was surprised when his fork made a small but resounding crystalline 'ting' against his empty plate. That, along with a demanding growl for more from his stomach, broke him out of his breakfast-induced trance. He also didn't miss the faint but mirthful giggle from the mare directly on his right.

Rarity also caught it but wasn't afraid to air her thoughts as she teased him and Twilight. "Well, he can most certainly match Twilight's new Alicorn appetite- when she isn't distracted by a book, that is."

Neil had no urge to deny it, either, as he caught sight of her refined, teasing smile. He was still weirded out by the amount he could eat now, though even he paled in comparison to what he saw of the princesses. "If you think I'm bad, you should see Celestia. She can make an entire feast vanish in a blink of an eye."

Whatever Neil may have expected from that kind of comment, it wasn't the sound of a book being snapped shut. All eyes in the room immediately pivoted to Twilight as she slowly removed the thick text at the top of the pile and replaced it with the book she had just closed with a focused calm.

After a few seconds of uneasy silence, during which Twilight started reading her new book, Rarity spoke up, "I'm guessing there wasn't anything of use in that book, Twilight?"

"Not even a hint of what Princess Celestia asked me to find so far," Twilight answered with a hint of frustration. However, Neil was fairly sure the emphasis was directed at him as she scanned through the new book.

Neil had no interest in getting involved with or asking about whatever she was searching for. However, he was still curious enough to give the text a cursory look. Thankfully, the angle at which she propped up the new book allowed Neil to see the cover. 

Unfortunately, while it had some recognizable cloud structures on the cover, it was written in nonsensical scribbles. At least, they were nonsensical to him. Twilight had already managed to skim three pages as she spoke.

Rarity must have sensed the end of that particular conversational topic as she quickly drew her attention back to him.

"Yes, well, if you're still feeling a bit peckish Neil, Pinkie left a box of muffins for you." Rarity offered, gesturing towards the white cardboard box he'd ignored. "Your invitation to tonight's party is sitting on top of it as well."

'Pinkie... Wasn't she one that knew about Halo lore?' Neil thought with no small amount of anxiety. He set aside the fork in his left wing and carefully picked up the envelope. "Why would she invite me to a party?"

"From the way Pinkie described it, tonight will be a bit of a victory soiree for the town," Rarity explained, allowing a hint of excitement in her voice. "Knowing her, everypony has received their invite by now."

'And since I was dragged into it like most of the town, I also received an invite,' He thought as he sliced open the envelope with his butter knife. Was that the best way to open it? Definitely not, as he noted a small amount of syrup on the paper. But it was good enough as he set aside the knife and pulled out a folded card.

Colorful was the first thing that came to mind, followed closely by festive. It was a hand- hoof-drawn card, and surprisingly well done since the waxy smell revealed it was done in crayon. Bits of confetti were also glued on the front. There wasn't too much written on the cover, but what little there was only increased his dread. It read:

To: Neil S. Davidson 
From: Your friend Pinkie Pie!

How did she know to put an 'S' there? Not once, in all his time here, did he let slip his middle name. How did she know he had one, let alone the correct letter to use!? 

Not only that but once he overcame the shock of his middle initial, he noticed a second red flag in her writing. She wrote his card in proper English. Instead of the weird accented 'i's ponies used in place of a regular 'i' or a proper 'e', she wrote both of their names normally, as he would.

With mounting unease, he opened the card. The inside didn't have any confetti, whether drawn or glued on. It would have looked rather bland if not for the rainbow of colors Pinkie used to write. Still, it had written instructions inside, explaining where to go in proper English again.

You've been invited to the We-Defeated-the-Tantabus-and-Luna-Doesn't-Feel-Guilty-Anymore Party!
Please show up by 7:30 PM.
Can't wait to see you there! 

Ever so slowly, Neil folded the card closed, slipped it back into the envelope, and put it aside. Until then, Neil hadn't put much stock into the insanity theory. He didn't want to imagine himself tied up in a straight jacket, living some hallucinated dream life. But his brief interactions with Pinkie were pushing the envelope- hard.

Unless her close friends knew something about her that he didn't? Perhaps, but how could he ask without giving away this new information? After a few moments of silence, he found a reasonable way to ask. "You all know Pinkie fairly well, right? How did she know about all of that info on ODSTs? I haven't seen any trace of the Halo series at all."

"That's just Pinkie being Pinkie, Darling," Rarity reassured him as if she were discussing the weather. "But I must admit, Pinkie knowing such a grim aspect also surprised me."

Twilight, on the other hand, took a moment out of her reading to give him a commiserating look, "Please don't try to make sense of Pinkie. I did, and all I earned in the attempt was a migraine. She's, well, just Pinkie."

That admission did not bode well for his sanity.

Something about him must have hinted at his thoughts because Twilight put aside her book and looked directly at him. "Putting Pinkie aside for the moment, there was something else I wanted to discuss with you."

Neil was quick to grab hold of the lifeline she offered. Anything to get away from questioning his sanity. "And that would be?"

"I've been going over everything that was said last night," She admitted, and the brief respite he felt vanished as he listened cautiously to her words. "I still disagree with what you said to Princess Luna. Yelling at her like that could have given the Tantabus the power it needed to escape! But, she forgave you after the Tantabus was defeated."

"Twilight, I'm afraid Fluttershy and I only caught the end of Rainbow's speech," Rarity cut in, sounding slightly confused. "Before you continued off of what she said. Was what Neil said that divisive?"

This was much different from how Neil imagined his breakfast going. So, before Twilight could misrepresent his position and paint him poorly, he cut her off. "She was breaking down, the Tantabus was getting bigger, and I just learned she made the bloody monster. So yeah, I was angry, and I yelled at her; Pretty much told her to stand back up and get her weak ass back in the fight."

Fluttershy gasped loudly at the end of his explanation. Even Rarity went wide-eyed as she brought a hoof to her muzzle. Before Neil could comprehend why, however, Twilight interceded.

"That wasn't all you said, but it is an accurate enough approximation without going into the vulgar details," She accused. "Also, please refrain from using that language in my home. I don't want Spike to learn that sort of thing."

"It's best not to use such vulgar language at all!" Rarity seconded immediately before he could give his answer.

"I already try not to swear around kids, and Spike isn't around," Neil conceded before pushing Twilight for a reason behind this topic. "So why are you bringing this up?"

Twilight momentarily gave him a critical look before dropping that particular subject and continuing. "Both you and Luna said something that made me worried. First, we were all awake when Luna said, and I quote, 'The nightmare wrought upon him by the Tantabus was particularly savage.'"

"Yeah, and?" Neil asked, not liking where this was going. He did not want to think about that dream or what Celestia had almost done to him! "That's what the Tantabus was designed to do. You were standing next to me when Luna admitted that."

"I was also there while you were yelling at Luna," Twilight countered, her worried gaze locked onto him. "Asking if she was going to allow the Tantabus to molest every single innocent mare, stallion, and foal in Equestria. Neil, I don't mean to pry, but if you need help..."

Neil was genuinely shocked and surprised she went there, and he wasn't the only one. Whatever traces of disgust or disappointment remained in Rarity's and Fluttershy's eyes vanished, replaced with worry and just a flicker of naked pity in Rarity's gaze. More than anything else that emboldened Neil to shut this topic down as soon as possible.

"I'm going to be blunt. Whatever you think happened, you're wrong," He said with as much finality as possible. However vivid that nightmare may have been, it never reached that point. "It was just a nightmare, and the Tantabus is dead now, or unmade, or whatever happened to it. As far as I'm concerned, it's over and done with. So, drop it."

After his declaration, the table fell into an awkward, almost oppressive silence. All three mares still appeared worried, and Twilight and Rarity had something to say on the matter, but neither of them voiced their thoughts. 

That, more than anything else, surprised Neil. Between Celestia's careful questioning and strict control, as well as the pushy Nurses during his first few days in the infirmary (until he managed to get his wings working), he had to fiercely guard his privacy. It was an odd and strangely relieving experience to know that some mares still respected his privacy, even if he had to be upfront about it in the first place. 

Unfortunately, the silence was also getting to him. To distract himself, he turned to the box Pinkie left him. Whether genuine or just out of morbid curiosity, Neil was tempted to open it just to see what was inside. Before he could, however, Twilight shared an obvious look with Rarity as if to ask the prim and proper Unicorn to say or do something to neutralize the silence.

Rarity was more than up to the challenge. She politely cleared her throat, drawing his focus away from the mystery box and the entire room's attention. "Neil, if you don't mind me asking, where did you find your cloak?"

"I have no clue," He answered honestly since this felt like a relatively safe topic. "I asked Bulk to get something to hide my wings, and he got this for me."

"Well, I can assure you Guard-Stallion Bulk has fine taste," She complimented while focusing on the alicorn clasp. "If I'm not mistaken, that garment was made by Material Mirage, one of Canterlot's premier stallion clothiers. I can't help but wonder what happened to it?"

"What happened to what? My cloak?" Neil asked, suddenly nervous. He hadn't noticed any holes or tears that might have revealed his wings earlier in the morning. But, just as he was about to look over his cloak, Rarity answered.

"Well, yes. Yesterday, it was nearly pristine. And yet, this morning, it's covered in grass and dirt stains!" She decried, as if stains were a crime for merely existing. "I can only imagine what Rainbow put you through."

"Flight training," He and Twilight groused simultaneously, which was weird. Neil had to remind himself that Rainbow had been chosen to train him precisely because she had trained Twilight first.

"Well, it's unbecoming to wear such a fine garment in its current state. If you want, we can go to my boutique, and I can wash it for you?" She tentatively offered.

While not his first option, he could picture how out-of-place grass and dirt stains would look on a full tuxedo. If he stood out that badly, he wouldn't mind getting his cloak cleaned, preferably without leaving the castle. "Celestia just zapped it clean once. Would either of you know how to do that?" He asked, looking between Twilight and Rarity.

"As much as I would like to know it, such a spell is not part of my repertoire, as it were," Rarity admitted, looking slightly embarrassed about her lack of knowledge.

Twilight also shook her head in the negative, "I've never needed to know everyday cleaning spells." 

Another silence started to settle over the table when Fluttershy spoke up for the first time since he had sat down. "Thank you for letting me stay for breakfast, Twilight, but I really should get back home. My animals are probably wondering where I've been all this time."

"Of course, Fluttershy," Twilight answered right away, putting aside her book. "You know you're welcome to stay here any time."

"I know," She assured Twilight as she hopped out of her chair. However, instead of walking by, she also paused at his chair. "And, um, I hope your day goes better than it did yesterday, Mr. Neil."

"Uh... sure?" He offered, somewhat weakly. He hadn't expected Fluttershy to focus on him, and he wasn't entirely sure how to respond.

It must have been enough because the yellow Pegasus continued walking until she pushed past the green crystal door and exited the room.

"As much as I would like to stay, I also have a few orders that need to be finished if I'm to show up at Pinkie's party tonight," Rarity admitted as she hopped out of her seat. "Breakfast was lovely, as always. Give Spikey-Wikey my regards?"

"I will, don't worry," Twilight promised before her smile grew slightly. "Unless you stop by the kitchen and tell him yourself?"

"Twilight! I wouldn't want to fluster the poor colt while he's working," Rarity accused as if Twilight suggested something scandalous.

"You and I know a few shattered crystal plates don't matter. After Prince Rutherford's visit, I've been experimenting," She explained with an odd gleam in her eye. "The castle somehow fuses plates, bowls, and glasses back together within an hour or two, negating any damage done to them. The same thing happens with the doors and everything else made out of crystal I've tested so far."

"That sounds quite interesting, but I really must be going if I'm to be on time." Rarity admitted before turning to him. "Neil, have you decided whether you would join me?"

As much as he disliked the thought of going out in public again, getting stuck inside, alone, with Twilight as she was now? He gave Rarity a quick nod and hopped out of his chair. "It won't take long, will it?"

"A single cloak won't take much time to clean," Rarity assured him as her horn lit up. Her aura pushed open the same door Fluttershy recently used. She also picked up the box and invitation Pinkie left for him and brought them to her side as she waited for him to join her.

At the very least, Bulk quickly rejoined him as they exited the room and then exited the castle.


~~~


The journey through Ponyville with Rarity at the lead was a far different experience than it had been with Rainbow. Where the Pegasus was content to fly ahead and speak about anything that came to mind, Rarity opted to weave through the streets with expert ease. Any pony that waved or said hello, Rarity would return the gesture. She also pointed out one shop after another as they traveled south, giving him a general description of each store, her favorite products they produced, and even the name of the owner or owners.

This included the quaint little Cafe at the end of Stirrup Street she mentioned the day before. It was smaller than Neil had expected, little more than a compact-looking, square corner store you'd expect to see in a bigger city. However, he could agree that the outdoor patio area looked rather quaint in an outdoorsy date kind of way. 

He gave a mental apology to the owner, Savoir Fare, for the fact that he would not be visiting the Fare Cafe anytime soon.

After the Cafe, the streets quickly changed from shops and businesses into residential buildings. Homely-looking cottages to sturdy-looking homes surrounded him as they continued south, each with an excessive amount of colour that brightened up the streets like a rainbow. It was odd compared to the small city he grew up in, but knowing the town's inhabitants, it was fitting. Ponies came in all colors of the rainbow, so why not their homes as well?

The streets were also less packed, allowing him to hear the distant noises, laughter, and cheers coming from the town plaza on his left. Thankfully, Rarity seemed to be sidestepping that part of town, opting instead for the most direct route to her place of business. Soon enough, their small group passed the final block of houses on either side, and the packed dirt street abruptly cut off.

If Neil didn't know better, he might have thought this was the edge of Ponyville. However, thanks to the bright pastel, if oddly pointy, tents ahead of him mixed in with the trees, he knew this was a park of sorts. At least, that's what Rainbow said when they crossed over the river to the northeast of here. Still, he followed Rarity as she transitioned onto a narrower, lightly used path winding into the trees.

Less than five minutes later, Rarity stopped in front of a tall, multi-story building dressed like a dollhouse. Like the tents, it was also painted with pastel shades. But unlike the tents, it was more... gaudy wasn't the right word with its pastel pinks, purples, blues, and gold highlights. Dainty felt more fitting as he caught sight of an out-of-place, normal-looking closed sign sitting in the diamond window of the front door. 

At the same time, Rarity turned around “grandly”. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique!" With her slogan proclaimed to the world, her aura surrounded the door as she stepped aside. The door quickly opened on its own, revealing a fraction of the full picture inside, with even more swirls of pinks and purples and multiple golden mirrors built alongside a raised platform.

Neil couldn't deny the sudden blast of girlishness held under a single roof was giving him second thoughts about the whole thing.

Rarity must also have spotted it, as she quickly reassured him. "Please, come in. My small-town boutique isn't as prestigious as the Royal Seamstress, but I stand by my skills."

Against his better judgment, Neil slowly walked into the establishment. Once inside, he saw other items that added a small business feeling to the shop. By his count, there were seven slimmer, more mare-like mannequins stored either in corners or half-covered by curtains. Some wore nothing, but most had half-finished dresses hanging off their white frames. Directly to his left sat a rack of colorful, sparkling dresses that appeared complete. And finally, there were multiple stalls along the left wall, each outfitted with a counter, a mirror, and a...wash tub?

The front door closed with a firm but muffled click as Rarity entered her business shortly after Bulk. However, the second click caught him by surprise as he looked back. Rarity's aura had already removed itself from most of the door. However, a small patch was dissipating from what was a deadbolt. The open/closed sign was also left untouched.

"There, now we won't have any surprises." Rarity stated as she trotted by him.

Her horn lit up again as she passed, and for a moment, Neil wasn't sure what she was doing. But then, he heard the clasp of his cloak unlatch, and the familiar weight of his cloak pull away from his back. He watched nervously as his garment was lifted into the air and floated over to the closest of the four washtub stalls. Once his cloak was positioned over the wooden tub, the other half of the clasp was released, allowing it to fall while the clasp itself was placed on the counter.

"I'll start the wash in a moment, but first, I would like to start on your new cloak. One more befitting your... unique charm," She admitted, catching him entirely by surprise as she pointed a hoof toward the raised dias surrounded by mirrors. "Would you kindly hop up onto the platform?"

This was definitely not part of their agreement, as Neil stood rooted in his current position. "Why exactly do I need a new cloak? My current cloak is perfectly fine as is."

"It's fine enough, Darling, and there's no doubt the quality is top-of-the-line. But the brown and green? It just isn't you. I'm offering a cloak that would better complement your-" She paused momentarily as her eyes opened with a glimmer of imagination. "Idea!"

Her horn flared with the most prominent aura he'd yet seen from the Unicorn. Throughout the room, drawers started to pull out, and items began to fly about. Tape rulers of various lengths and colors, a set of pencils, a pad, pins, needles, thread, and even full-on bolts of cloth. They all sprang out of seemingly nowhere, some of which almost hit himself and Bulk. But the most out of place of them all was a single novel floating in front of a very inspired-looking Rarity with a shadowy figure on the back cover.

"Yes, this could work. Just a small dash of Femme Noir's classical styles to compliment your regal mystique, with the colors to match! Oh, I have to sketch this out," She rushed, as one of the pencils caught in her grasp attacked a nearby sketchbook. "I could do an entire line! The dresses, the coats. The veils? No, those would be too much Noir. Hold for just a moment, please!"

One moment, she stood near enough that he could almost read the text on the back of her book. The next, she darted through the showroom, around the open frame near the back, and vanished with some tools still trailing behind her. What wasn't needed immediately was set aside on the counters in her haste but still left out in the open.

Though he couldn't see her, the sound of her speedy retreat traveled through the walls. Eventually, her hooves emanated from the ceiling itself before they died off.

Looking away from the ceiling, Neil turned to Bulk, feeling both confused and slightly apprehensive about his experience so far. "So, am I the only one thinking she's a little... excessive?"

Bulk merely shrugged from his position near the door. "Miss Mirage was a touch more lively, believe it or not. Once she learned I was shoppin' for a larger stallion with a coin pouch to match, she was hankerin' to meet you for a full wardrobe fittin'."

That new piece of information didn't soothe his nerves. The thought of another mare even more excitable than Rarity desiring to meet him? With his already tumultuous morning, he didn't need any more surprises like that. "And you're only telling me about this now, because?"

"I figured you didn't want another pony knowin' about your wings, so why waste time telling you?" Bulk admitted with only a hint of embarrassment. "Was I wrong?"

He wasn't wrong. Neil would have avoided the mare like the plague just to keep his secret. "No, you're right. But, I'd still like to know about stuff like that in the future. There aren't anymore, right?"

"None yet," Bulk informed him, "But with the way some of those noble mares were looking, expect some invitations soon."

Before he could ask what Bulk meant by invitations, the speedy trot above their heads returned and retraced its steps back down to the main floor. Soon enough, Rarity gracefully passed through the open frame at the back, with a veritable armada of fabric bolts behind her and an even larger sketch pad held in her aura by her shoulder.

"Well, are you ready to look your absolute best, Darling?" She asked with a gleeful smile.

Cornered as he was, Neil didn't see an easy way out of this. And he knew Celestia could afford it. So, with some resignation, he opted to just get this over with as he nodded. "Just to make sure. This will help me blend in, and stay hidden, right?" He countered, emphasizing why he wore a cloak in the first place.

"Of course! Wearing an outfit that wasn't uniquely tailored specifically for you? I can't think of a worse way to stand out in Canterlot," Rarity explained as she shuffled the various bolts of cloth around. "With this, you will blend in and shine as you were meant to! Now, up on the stage, please."

Rarity almost convinced him, but she raised a major red flag at the end of her little sales pitch. "And if I don't want to shine? That's the exact opposite of hiding."

She was quick with a rebuttal to his worries, "Neil, if I may be so bold, every pony who's anypony in Canterlot is doing their absolute best to express themselves with the latest trends. Knowing which pony would stand out more? The one wearing garments designed to express their inner beauty? Or the pony with ill-fitting garments?"

As much as he hated to admit it, that was true- for the Canterlot nobility, at the very least. Normal ponies still wore everyday clothes and work clothes, though that normally amounted to a light shirt at most, but usually less. Plus, being held in the castle all but forced him to bump into the nobility. After a moment of contemplation, he turned to his guard. "Any thoughts Bulk?"

"You were gettin' some pretty odd looks when we made our way to the Brass Bells," Bulk admitted with a slight shrug.

"... Fine. I would prefer subtle over shine, though," Neil stated as he hopped onto the raised platform and made his way to the center. He was acutely aware of Rarity's new viewing angle and what could be seen with a simple glance. So, without prompting, he sat down on his haunches and brought his front legs in close to prevent any visual mishaps.

"Of course! I always take my customer's taste into account," Rarity assured him as she glanced from one bolt of fabric to the next. "Now, let's begin."

Rarity was quick to unwrap a certain amount of orange cloth from the first bolt and hold it up against the left side of his body in various places with a critical eye. She held it beside his chest, hair, and face the longest before the fabric spun over to his right side, and she repeated the process. Only this time, Rarity's eyes were focused on the mirrors.

With a slight, negative shake, Rarity set aside the bolt and brought the next one forward. What came next was a flurry of cloth and colors as fabric after fabric twirled around him. Most joined the first bolt of orange in the largest reject pile. However, two more piles emerged in time, much smaller than the first. These held various shades of blues, purples, and a few pinks.

However, Rarity's most visceral reaction came with the first bolt of vibrant red. The moment she placed it against his chest, she didn't hide the look of revulsion on her face. Or the not-so-subtly muttered, Too Sombra, Before the multiple shades of red held in her aura joined the pile of rejects.

In total, it took between fifteen minutes and half an hour for Rarity to work through her supply of fabrics and jot down all her notes in the sketchbook. Once the last bolt, a thin, soft-feeling pale lavender cloth, was finally placed on the smallest pile.  She flipped her book closed and slid the pencil she used inside one of the coils that bound the book together. 

Over time, her horn had dulled in brightness as bolt after bolt was addenda, forming into a neat pile. Now, it regained some of it’s luster as she enveloped the smaller piles in her aura and lifted them into the air. 

"Well, I think that should cover the basics. As promised, I'll clean and dry your cloak within twenty minutes. After which, I think I shall start on your new cloak. Until then, please take a seat and relax," She offered, waving her hoof towards the multiple stools throughout the showroom floor.

With that, she all but pranced through the open frame with an excited giggle and disappeared upstairs for a second time.

Now that he was in the clear, Neil finally allowed himself to stand properly. His body was inundated with quite several small cracks and pops as his legs and back shifted and stretched. After that, he hopped off the raised platform and claimed the nearest stool as his own.

If Rarity's estimate was correct, he had less than twenty minutes to waste. Overall, it would be a short wait, but he intimately knew how time could drag on with nothing to do. He didn't have a book to read, and he couldn't leave, either. 

Bulk remained near the door, standing at attention, even if it was just the two of them now. Unless Neil found a compelling subject to talk about—chances were, Bulk would remain in guard mode. 

That left his thoughts. More importantly, he left with a single, glaring question. What was the next important task on his agenda?

It was just his luck that the Everfree Forest was next to Ponyville. The same forest he needed to explore to find the Castle of the Two Sisters. This was the closest he'd ever been to his first and only objective of getting home, no matter how flimsy it may have been. Unfortunately, given the information he knew from books and what Rainbow had told him yesterday, he knew it was a perilous place to go. 

Unbidden, a caricature of Celestia's worried voice wove through his mind, 'It's too dangerous for the unique, disabled, one-of-a-kind Alicorn stallion to go.' 

Bulk would also veto any attempt to get close to the Everfree Forest; there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Unfortunately, that left an unanswerable question in his mind. When would he get another opportunity like this in the future? Knowing Celestia, the odds were against him. She'd keep him locked up in the castle or babysit him with an entire platoon of guards, removing any hint of privacy for his research.

No, if he was going to do something, this would be his best shot. He just had to find a way to distract Bulk and quietly slip away. Then he could go into the Everfree, find the castle, search the library, and find a way home. Nice and simple...

Thinking of simple things, didn't Bulk introduce one of his cousins during the shared dream? If he went that route, it would be, admittedly, a little underhanded. However, desperate times called for desperate measures, right?

Neil kept the idea in mind for now. If he thought of a better one, great. If not, at least he had one option. He hopped off the stool, hooked a wing around one of the legs, and dragged it next to Bulk before sitting down again.

"You didn't join me for breakfast. Are you hungry?" Neil asked as he swiped the box of muffins from Bulk's back. Surprisingly, there was even a hint of resistance as he grabbed the box, but not enough to prevent him from pulling the box away.

Bulk's eyes flickered off the open frame at the back of the room, to the box itself, then back to the open frame. "Maybe later. I'm on duty right now."

"That's entirely up to you," Neil said as he eased the box open. He expected to see a grab bag box where a person could find at least one appetizing item. Instead, he was met with six perfectly baked banana and chocolate chip muffins. 

Before he could even comprehend that Pinkie had guessed his favorite type of muffin, the overwhelmingly sweet scent hit him. Even though he had just finished breakfast, his stomach was quick to demand more with a short grumble. 

Before he devoured the whole box, he gave Bulk one last chance. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," Bulk confirmed, although he was tempted by the scent alone.

Neil made a split-second decision to keep two set aside for Bulk before digging into his second breakfast. After devouring his first glorious muffin in just two bites, he also remembered why he came over in the first place. "Hey Bulk, you said you have family living here?"


~~~


Rarity was true to her word in one regard. In less than twenty minutes, she came back down with his cloak looking even better than the day it was bought. He didn't know how she made the forest green look even more vibrant, but he assumed it was some sort of trade secret.

Either way, he could leave the boutique without fear with his cloak returned to him. Which he did.

Thanks to his short but informative chat with Bulk, the next stop on his list: Sweet Apple Acres. From what he was told, it was a reasonably expansive orchard to the southwest of Ponyville. Not only would they be able to go there without cutting through Ponyville again, but as an added bonus, their orchard butted up against the Everfree at multiple points! It almost felt as if Neil won the jackpot in that regard.

But after a brisk twenty-minute trot, a large, multi-story red barn slowly rose above the evenly placed apple trees, signaling just how close they were to the farm itself. Soon after, the trees ended as the white fence curved inward towards a large, welcoming arch that opened to the main property. The effect created a welcoming alcove, with potted plants evenly spaced along the entire fence. There was even an old antique bathtub and a few washbasins full of shrubs,all of which were well cared for. 

Just off to the right of the gate sat a chicken coop, with almost a dozen chickens milling about near their home. A good thirty to forty meters behind that were four decent-sized sheds lined up side by side, all surrounded by hay piles.

To his left was a decent-sized vegetable garden and a well, shortly followed by what he originally thought was a barn. It still looked like one, with the main entrance covered by a pair of large barn doors. But judging by the multiple windowsill gardens and the stone pathways leading to both the large and small doors, he was starting to have second thoughts about that assumption.

Finally, a few hills beyond that, he caught sight of an orange building with prominent carrot-shaped decorations, even at that distance.

Overall, if a person added an ordinary-looking house between the barn and the carrot building, it would look like a very homely, down-to-earth place to live.

"Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! It's not as big or as fancy as Orange Groves down by Manehatten, but my cousins hold their own," Bulk proclaimed.

"It's a pretty nice place," Neil agreed before voicing his main question, "So, do we wait here for someone, or can we just go in?"

"Go right on in," Bulk offered without a hint of doubt. "I can't think of a single pony that ain't welcome besides a pair of well-known swindlers, that is."

With Bulk giving him the go-ahead, Neil walked through the gate. The area was serene, if a little empty. The only sound came from the chickens happily clucking to his right and a rhythmic, odd wooden thunk that echoed out from the orchard to the west every minute or so.  

It was only as they approached the smaller of the two entrances that Neil picked up a third sound- a faint, if constant wooden creaking that grew louder the closer they walked to the half-open, Dutch-styled door.

Once he was close enough to peek inside, there wasn't much to see. The walls were bare planks like one would expect from a barn, with a couple of framed family photos hanging to decorate the space. The floor was covered in somewhat dirty floor mats, likely from ponies walking in. Finally, dozing next to one of the windows was an elderly-looking, light green pony with gray hair rocking back and forth in an old, squeaky chair.

Looking back to Bulk, he made a knocking gesture with his hoof before shrugging. "Should we knock and wake her, or..?"

Instead of answering, Bulk walked right past the smaller door and slipped around the corner, heading towards the back of the barn. He didn't go far, only a few steps at most, before he stopped and waved a hoof at something. "Good mornin' Cousin!" 

Somewhat curious, Neil followed. There was little in the way of decoration, besides a third door at the back of the barn. But, twenty-some meters away, another building had been previously concealed by the barn. A mid-sized structure, perhaps equal to three of the sheds combined, with an unbroken fence surrounding the only entrance to create a medium-sized pen. Inside the pen were four large, happy-looking pigs being fed by Applejack.

Once she finished emptying the bucket in her hooves, she set it aside, looked up, and hollered, "Well howdy Bulk! What brings you and Neil to the farm this fine autumn day?"

"Neil wanted to pass the time and see the farm," Bulk bellowed back just as loudly. "I'm guessin' that's Mac bucking in the orchard?"

'Bucking?' Neil mentally replayed that word as yet another distant thwack could be heard. What the hell did that even mean? Whatever it meant, he could only hope it wasn't a euphemism for fucking, at the very least.

"Eyup, there's a small section of Pink Ladies that are just starting to ripen up. Big Mac should have 'em all bucked by mid-afternoon," Applejack explained, making it sound even dirtier as she walked up to them. "So, anything in particular you want to see?"

He suppressed the first answer that came to mind, instead opting for the less crass and more accurate motives behind his visit. "Well, I did want to see the farm, but that isn't the only reason I'm here."

"Oh? You have some sort of business that needs doing?" Applejack asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Sort of," Neil answered, as he gave a side look towards Bulk. " You see, Bulk's been working every day since he was assigned as my guard. So, when he said he has family in Ponyville, I figured, why not give him a day off?"

"Well, that sounds like a mighty fine idea!" An older, crotchety-sounding voice spoke up from right behind him. Turning around, Neil immediately spotted the older green mare from the rocking chair. "Not often we get family drop'n by just to drop by. And who are you, Sonny?"

By then, she had sidled up to him, putting herself between him and the barn wall. "I'm Neil, Mrs...?"

"Aw, none o'that!" She lightly chastised while focusing her wrinkled eyes up at him. "My name's Granny Smith, but everypony just calls me Granny."

"Well, uh, it's nice to meet you Granny?" Neil asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"Nice to meet you too, Neil," She said genuinely before turning to her... daughter? However, judging by appearances alone, granddaughter was more appropriate. "Applejack, why don't you go ring the bell and call Big Mac for an early lunch?"

"Can do, Granny," Applejack offered before turning around and jogging towards a pole with a cowbell on it.

"Now, are you two strappin' young lads up for escorting this old mare to the kitchen for an early lunch?"

For the first time, it was Bulk's stomach that betrayed him. It gave off a noticeable rumble the moment Granny Smith mentioned food. "Sure thing, Granny."

With that settled, Neil and Bulk flanked the elderly mare and escorted her into the house to the sound of a cowbell ringing.

Once Granny Smith was escorted to the kitchen, both he and Bulk were shooed out. The kitchen wasn't a place for stallions as they were assigned to set the table. With his wings, the plates, glasses, and cutlery were easy enough for him to manage if he was careful.

Applejack entered the kitchen shortly after the bell stopped ringing. Without a word, she zipped through the dining area and straight into the kitchen. Soon after that, one dish after another started to flow out of the kitchen and onto the table. The first few dishes were warmed-up leftovers from either breakfast or the night before. But after that, every pot and pan looked and smelled as if they were freshly baked. How they were sending out dishes so fast, Neil couldn't guess.

The table was creaking under the weight of all the dishes by the time the third and final adult member of the Apple family appeared with heavy steps (from far enough away that Neil managed to hide his wings with ease). 

Big Mac was a vibrant red Earth Pony that lived up to his name as he walked into the dining room. Neil offered a quick hello. Big Mac gave a silent nod in return before quickly taking stock of the situation and placing the last few pans in a manner that would still keep everything stable.

A few minutes later, the mares exited the kitchen, with Applejack holding the door for Granny Smith. As the elderly mare approached the nearest seat, she paused, giving him and Big Mac a slow, quizzical look before a grin spread along her muzzle. "He-he, I knew it! You are a smidge taller than Big Mac, even without your horn."

Put on the spot like that, Neil couldn't help but look around Bulk at the red stallion sitting two seats down, only to see Big Mac also looking his way. Seeing a pony that wasn't an Alicorn look at him without looking up at him was a little odd. But taller? That he wasn't so sure about.

Big Mac didn't seem to care too much about it either, as he shrugged with an "Eeeyup" and then started to dish up food onto his plate. Bulk and the rest of the Apple family followed suit, whereas Neil struggled a little. Without his wings, he was forced to resort to his hooves. He managed when it was something like a ladle or a serving spoon that he could pincer between his hooves. But he was forced to avoid everything else unless he wanted to risk causing a mess.

He tried to keep his problem under the radar while everyone else was busy, but Granny Smith quickly called him out once she was done serving her plate. "Havin' some troubles, Neil?"

Before he could answer, Bulk deftly snatched the serving spoon from his hooves and placed the apple dumpling onto his plate. "Nothin' we haven't dealt with before, Granny. One of the reasons I was assigned to Neil is his hooves and horn."

It was a little humiliating, but Neil recognized the save for what it was as he nodded along. Thankfully, his plate was mostly full by then, so he didn't need Bulk's help for much longer.

"Well, if yer havin' trouble with yer hooves, don't worry about the cutlery," Granny added as she watched Bulk place an apple fritter onto his plate. "Dig in and enjoy."

"Will do, Granny," Was all Neil said as he considered her words. Did she say it was okay to eat like an animal? As much as he wanted to keep his wings a secret, they itched to be used rather than having to eat like a dog. A quick look around the table showed that none of the others seemed to care, however.

So, forsaking some (but not all) of his manners, Neil joined in.

From the food alone, he quickly learned that 'Apple' wasn't just a name. For the Apple family, it was also a way of life. Apple fritters, apple cobbler, apple pie, fried apple slices, even apple dumplings. Every single dish had apples in it, one way or another. And, much to his surprise, all of them were good. Though his all-time favorite from the samples he gathered was decisively the apple turnovers.

As lunch came to a close, it was Applejack who broke the content silence of their meal. "Neil, I've been wonderin'. You said you wanted to give Bulk the day off for family, but he's your guard. What were you plannin' on doin' without him?"

"I don't know... wander around for a bit, I guess?" Neil answered, caught off guard by the question. Then again, Applejack knew about his wings and the real reason Bulk was assigned to him. "Maybe listen to Lyra if she's playing, or go read a book? As far as I know, I'm stuck here until it's time to go back to Canterlot."

As he answered, Applejack looked at him oddly- but only for a moment before Granny Smith cut in. 

"Applejack, y'know you could always go with him if yer that worried," The elderly mare added.

"I still have chores around the farm that need doing, Granny," Applejack countered, sounding as if she had already had this discussion multiple times.

"I know, I know, I'm just sayin'," Granny acquiesced before attacking the same topic from a new angle. "Besides, judge'n by his size, he definitely has some Earth Pony in him, and I ain't gettin' any younger, y'know."

"Granny," Applejack grumbled as she passed her plate to a retreating Big Mac, who was clearly the smartest stallion in the room since he did not want to hear any part of this conversation.

Neil, being one of the core subjects, also felt like leaving. But, he was also morbidly curious enough to stay as Granny carried on.

"What? Can't a mare ask for some great grand-foals before she kicks the bucket?" She asked, confirming Neil's earlier thought that she was their grandmother instead of their mother.

"Not like this," Applejack stubbornly stated while meeting Granny's gaze. "Besides, even if we wanted to, estrus is over a season away."

"That just means you have plenty of time to practice!" Granny cackled before she turned to Neil. "Unless that ain't working for ya either?"

Up to that point, it had been both an enlightening and fairly entertaining conversation, knowing that some things stay the same. But Neil did not expect to have such a blunt question thrown at him like that, and answered accordingly as heat swarmed over his cheeks, "As far as I know, it is?"

"Granny! You know it's rude to ask about a stallion's virility these days," Applejack chastised the elder mare before looking at him. "Neil, I apologize for that. Maybe you an' Bulk should join Big Mac while Granny and I continue this privately."

Seeing the opportunity to escape for what it was, Neil quickly stood up from the table. "I wouldn't want to break any of your dishes, given... So I'll just step outside for some fresh air. Bulk, you don't mind helping, right?"

"Eyup, I'm on it," Bulk said, nabbing Neil's plate and placing it on his own.

With that established, Neil quickly exited the house. By that point, the mid-day sun was bearing down on the farm, making the day feel warmer than it should have during the autumn season. It was nice, in a way, to be able to lean against the wall as the sun warmed his cloak when compared to sitting hunched over in a dilapidated shipping crate within the shadows of an alleyway.

Unfortunately, the thoughts buzzing around in his head were the same. He couldn't quite tell how long he stood there, just thinking. He was thinking about how this would be his last good meal for quite a while when Applejack exited the house.

She looked to her left, toward the arch, first. When she didn't spot him, she looked to the right. Once she saw him leaning against the wall, she trotted over. "Once again, sorry about that, Neil. Granny can be a little in her ways at times."

"Eh, no worries," Neil shrugged the apology away, knowing exactly how she felt. "It's odd being in the spotlight, but my Grandma did something similar once."

"Oh? Was it as bad as what Granny just did?" She asked as she sat down with her back against the wall.

"Maybe? It happened during grad for my final year of high school. First, we had our school graduation ceremony in the afternoon and then our prom dance in the evening. During the ceremony, my grandparents wanted to meet my date for the prom, so I brought her over," Neil explained before reaching the finale of his story, "Everything was going fine until my Grandma pointed out that the size of her breasts could cause health problems later on in life."

"Breasts? You mean her teats?" Applejack asked before her eyes widened with a slightly panicked look, "Wait, was she carry'n a foal at the time? Was it yours?"

"Nope, she always had larger teats than most girls, that's all," Neil answered quickly before she traveled further down that particular path of assumptions. "She was kind enough to still dance with me at prom, but we went our separate ways after that."

"Oh. That does sound a little worse than what Granny did." After a few seconds of awkward silence, Applejack moved on to a different topic. "I also talked with Bulk an' Big Mac. After dishes they'll be heading off to finish the section of pink ladies together. You sure you'll be fine on your own?"

"Positive. I just have to follow the path, yeah?"

"Eyup, but be careful, though. Just because we had our big bad of the month doesn't mean Ponyville still can't get a little rowdy." She warned as she stood up, with a few noticeable pops from her well-defined muscles. "Anyway, I have some fencing that needs to be repaired."

And with those parting words, she was off, heading towards one of the sheds.

Neil, however, was internally cheering as he lightly pushed off the wall. Bulk deciding to enjoy the day with his family without any extra discussion was an added bonus he hadn't expected. Now, he could just leave and go wherever he wanted.

'After all,' He thought as he passed under the arch and turned onto the main road, 'All I have to do is follow the path... Into the Everfree.'


~~~***~~~


The past week had been a hectic one for Twilight. 

It started well enough six days ago. She and Spike had been dutifully re-shelving the magical education section of the library when Spike received a missive from Princess Celestia. As the Princess' student, Twilight immediately paused their current task to read the letter. 

It could have been a call for help against the next great threat against Equestria. Or, even worse, it could have been a surprise exam! Contrary to her predictions, it was a simple letter asking how she was doing and if she was willing to partake in two extra assignments.

The first assignment of the two, welcoming Prince Rutherford and his Yak delegation from Yakyakistan, was marked as a high-priority task. The second assignment may have been marked as low priority, but it was primarily a research project, something Twilight enjoyed immensely. Without considering the consequences, she promptly sent a letter accepting both.

And so, that's how she spent the following week after altering her schedules and checklists. First, she had to prepare for and survive welcoming Prince Rutherford and his Yak delegation from Yakyakistan. That had been a harrowing wake-up call in the realm of politics. Thankfully, Pinkie somehow managed to avert a war from starting (a first in recent history, much to Twilight's surprise), which should have led to a few days of peace and quiet and, most importantly, research. 

Instead, the Tantabus sprung up, threatening not only Ponyville but also Equestria if it could escape into the physical realm. In the end, Luna managed to quell her feelings of doubt and self-loathing and prevent the threat from her creation. However, even a threat to Equestria couldn't resolve itself smoothly! A new Alicorn, known only to a select few (including Rainbow Dash, surprisingly enough), revealed himself.

Never in a million years would she have predicted a stallion could ascend. Then again, until her ascension, she never would have predicted any pony could do so. She didn't have much of an opportunity to interact with him so far, but what little amount of time she did made her concerned. He didn't appear to embody any aspect of friendship. He was distant, surly to the point of insulting most ponies around him, and lacked trust in anypony.

In fact, given his lack of a cutie mark, Neil didn't appear to embody any aspect of power. That was a conundrum in and of itself since she couldn't recall any pony reaching adulthood before earning a cutie mark. What did that mean? 

Hopefully, he wasn't a burgeoning threat to Equestria like Sombra. Admittedly, they had similar appearances, but that was only a superficial comparison.

Either way, she had the opportunity to talk to him later at Pinkie's party. For now, she had a few hours scheduled for pure, unadulterated research. And such a challenging topic it was, too! Whether her search categorically fit into history or geography, she didn't know. But Princess Celestia tasked her with finding any trace of a country called 'Canada'.

So far, every attempt to find it over the previous week came up with nothing.

It vexed her in a challenging, almost pleasurable way. Her mind drifted to the moment in time when she would finally find the answer for Princess Celestia. Just herself, alone in the library, surrounded by the books that helped her find out what, exactly, Canada was... And the locked bottom-left drawer of her desk, which only she knew the contents of.

However, that kind of celebration was for later! Now she had to focus on finding the mysterious land of Canada...


~~~


Twilight groaned in frustration four hours later as she added the Esoteric Encyclopedia of Ancient Equine Nations to the ever-growing pile of books without any trace of the name Canada. As much as she wanted to push on, she needed a break to refocus, and a glass of lemonade would be the perfect solution... if she could leave her desk.

Looking around, there wasn't so much a book pile but a book fortress surrounding her. At least half of the books that belonged to the geography and history sections were no longer on the shelves where they belonged. Had she really, gone through that many books already?

Apparently—she had. She shook her head and focused. With the exact amount of magic gathered in a fraction of a second and the correct formula locked in her mind, she released her spell. One moment, she was surrounded by books, and the next, she stood beside Spike's check-out desk. Blinking may be limited to line of sight, but it was much more efficient compared to teleportation.

However, her eyes fell upon the small bookshelf behind the counter. She looked over the specific books set on the special shelf with a nostalgic fondness. Whether for functional or sentimental reasons, Twilight couldn't find it within her to allow those particular books to be checked out. Most of them were damaged or burned and were recovered from her old home after its destruction. But a few were relatively more intact, like the brown and gold spine of Sunset Shimmer's inter-dimensional journal... 

And just like that, an idea sparked in her mind. Sunset Shimmer was Celestia's student before Twilight. By all accounts, she was a well-practiced and powerful mage in her own right- perhaps even more so than Twilight had been at her age. She also had access to more esoteric tomes (that Princess Celestia locked away after Sunset's betrayal). Perhaps she heard about Canada in one of those books?

It was a long shot at best, but it was worth the risk as Twilight grasped the book in her magic and placed it on the counter. She flipped to the first unused page, uncorked the nearest inkwell, and grabbed one of Spike's recently used quills. 

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

How are you doing in the human world? Things have been pretty hectic here in Equestria with my Princess duties and other assigned duties. Speaking of which, I've been tasked with finding any historical or geological trace of a country called Canada. Have you heard of it during your studies under Celestia?

Hope you're doing well,
Twilight Sparkle.

Once the ink was dry, Twilight closed the book, re-shelved it, and exited the library. It was hard to calculate the exact time of day, or night it was in the human world. If she was lucky, she would get a timely response. If not, she may have to wait until tomorrow to receive an answer from Princess Celestia's former student.

Either way, she had a glass of lemonade waiting for her in the kitchen.

Once her basic hydration was taken care of, along with a sugary boost in the form of a mid-day vanilla cupcake, Twilight returned to the library. At least, she tried to return to the library. She only made it halfway up the stairs before a wrench in the form of Rainbow Dash's frantic voice echoed throughout her castle and tore through her plans.

"Twilight, Neil's missing!"
> 10. Dreamy Aftermath Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 26th: 10th Day Since Capture)

As Neil walked along the gravel road, he did so with a light hum from his chest and a small skip to his steps as a chipper song by TheFatRat played in his head. For the first time in quite a while, he was alone and feeling pretty happy with himself. There were no guards nearby to babysit him or all-powerful princesses to keep him locked up in his gilded cage. He was free to do what he wanted and go wherever he pleased, so long as he did it quickly.

Which was why he was currently trotting along the road heading towards Ponyville.

Even if he considered the times when he was left alone to do research, he hadn't felt like this in days. As he thought back over his entire time in Equestria... He couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. One memory that came close was the content, almost euphoric desire for Equestrian cooking, whether fresh or not. 

The only other activity that came to mind was his brief stint of gliding, but even then, that was more of a rush and an elation at the fact that he could fly. Not to mention the almost addictive feeling of correctness as the air flowed over his wings. And yet, another part of him railed against it. Flying under his own power wasn't right; It wasn't human at all. He had to follow his true dream and fly as a pilot, right?

The more he thought about it, the more he reaffirmed his positions. He'd never been truly happy in Equestria, not once, until now.

That's why he took a right when a slightly smaller, lesser-used road appeared. As far as he knew, it would curve around the edge of the Everfree and meet up with the eastern road he had taken with Rainbow the previous day. The ponies back at Sweet Apple Acres might think he was heading back to Ponyville to relax, but he had another objective in mind. 

Along the way to her secret training spot, Rainbow had pointed out two smaller paths leading into the Everfree Forest. The first led to a home deep in the forest owned by a pony named Zecora. The second, however, threw him for a loop when she said it followed the outskirts of the forest to Fluttershy's home.

Why one of the most timid ponies he'd ever met would live near a forest that instinctually sent shivers down his spine, he couldn't understand. But in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter, as the first path was his main focus. Rainbow told him a group of foals called the Cutie Mark Crusaders used it occasionally to visit Zecora. And, if it was safe enough for a group of foals, it was probably safe enough for him.

He wouldn't have to worry about anything- unless he diverged from the path.

After a quick ten-minute jaunt, where he studiously avoided looking at the forest on his right, the smaller path merged into the eastern road. He could already see the unpaved dirt trail cutting straight into the forest in the distance. Sooner rather than later, he would finally take his first hopeful step towards the journey home.

As he veered onto the unkempt trail, he only hoped it was the right path. Now that he was facing the bowels of the untamed wilderness that was the Everfree, the unease at the back of his neck grew with each prickly hair that stood. 

'Another thing to add to my list of unknown bullshit about the world,' He thought, ignoring his instinct and walking forward. He could understand the locals having an ingrained reaction like that if they grew up with horrible stories about the forest. However, he didn't have that excuse as he slowly progressed. Twenty feet, ten, five... the moment he crossed the threshold and entered the forest, something unexpected happened.

As if a switch had been flipped in his head, the tension in his neck muscles and the impending feeling of doom vanished. It was intriguing and a little worrying in its own right, as a mild sense of giddiness? replaced it. Either way, without the baseless fear weighing him down, he found his steps much lighter as he travelled into the forest along the path.

Not to say the forest itself suddenly looked like sunshine and rainbows. Living in Saskatchewan all of his life, Neil only had a little experience with forests. The Everfree was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. He was used to tall, narrow pines, aspens, and the occasional, more normal-looking poplar trees. He didn't recognize any of these moss-covered trees, with their thick dark brown or brown-gray barks. They stood tall while also twisting in unusual ways.

Reaching into the dense canopy and blocking most of the sun while vines hung limply from their branches. The remaining foliage was forced to survive in quasi-shadowy lighting that enhanced the unsettling atmosphere. Judging by the leafy bushes and weed-like plants, they not only survived, but thrived in the environment. Each plant coalesced to create a thick underbrush of dark greens and silvery blues that stood out in the otherwise dark crevices. He even spotted groups of orange and red shelf-like fungus growing along fallen tree trunks.

The only indication that he was travelling deeper into the forest, beyond the passing of time, was the overall dimness of the light. Presumably, the canopy was becoming thicker, which allowed even less light to pass through. As a consequence, everything became darker. The shadows cast by the trees elongated, crossing the path more frequently. At the same time, the many twisted limbs around and above him seemed to appear more shadowy and alive, almost as if they were preparing to pin him into the ground, like-.

He shook his head. There was no need to think about that when he was surrounded by a whole new biome of flora and fauna... But, now that he thought about it, there weren't many animals around him. At most, he was surrounded by the occasional hum of insects like the buzzing of beetles. But so far, he hadn't heard a single bird singing or the scuttle of a small creature in the underbrush. It was rather odd...

Neil pondered that thought for a fair distance before he spotted something even odder: a beacon of light filtering through the nearby tree trunks. It wasn't enough to lure him off the path, but he was heading in roughly the same direction, so there wasn't much need to. A few minutes later, the trees thinned enough to reveal a clearing.

It was a reasonably uniform circle, roughly house-sized if he had to guess. The outer half of the clearing was taken up by prairie grasses and wildflowers, precisely what he would expect to see along the untamed outskirts of his home city. But in the center, as if acting like a small, life-giving pond, was a large patch of flowers.

It was very intriguing, to say the least, as he looked upon the waves of petals. Each was light blue except for a line of darker blue running down the center. Was there something about the clearing that prevented the trees from growing, thus allowing the flowers to grow? Or was there something unique about the flowers that acted almost like Penicillin against the trees?

Without thought, he took one step and then another, angling away from the path as he slowly approached the clearing.

Another oddity he noticed was the lack of insects anywhere near the center of the clearing. He spotted a few small, black, fly-like bugs and even a few bees flying around the outer circle but quickly brushed that aside. For some reason, he was far more focused on the blue flowers- what they would smell like and, most importantly, what they would taste like.

He was halfway through the outer ring before some critical thoughts reached the forefront of his mind. 'Why do I want to know what they taste like? Why did I leave the path? And why am I still walking towards the flower patch!?'

A part of himself didn't know why he needed to force his legs to stop moving. But he managed to halt himself with only three feet remaining between him and the blue flowers. Now that he was thinking more clearly, something about these flowers held him enraptured.

There was an urge to go into them, to sniff and nibble on just a few petals in the name of science. Almost as if he was enchanted, like a DnD trap. No matter how hard he tried, the fact that he couldn't pull away his gaze only cemented his opinion.

The best he could do was slowly walk around the flower patch, making sure he moved no closer to the danger but unable to move away. During this time, he tried to think of anything that described the flowers, whether from Rainbow or the books on the Castle of the Two Sisters he skimmed. Nothing came to mind.

He might have been on his second, or maybe it was his third, lap around the flower patch when a small amount of terrifying providence made itself known. He could not look at the source, but he definitely heard the unmistakable growls of a creature nearby. Whether that was the cure for his plight or the shock to his system he needed to break free, the blissful giddiness in his head vanished.

Neil tore his eyes away from the plants and shifted onto the... four plants? growling from the other side of the clearing. Each plant was crouched down on all fours as if threatening to pounce at him at any moment. Except, as far as he could tell, they weren't made of flesh and fur. No, their dog-like bodies were made almost entirely of sticks and bark in various states of mossy decay. The only thing not made of plant matter was their eyes, each glowing like a luminescent firefly nestled in the otherwise empty socket.

Rainbow's gloating also played through his head, identifying the creatures before him with some manner of disbelief. 'There's also timberwolves, but me and AJ handle 'em easily enough.'

Timberwolves. Neil assumed she meant regular wolves, but of course, nothing could ever be that simple in fucking pony world! Even worse, the wolves had placed themselves between him and the path. He was essentially cut off from safety if, and that was a big if, the wolves would give up the chase if he managed to reach the path. Even in his head, that plan sounded stupid as he took an unconscious step away from the pack.

All four wolves sprung into action like Neil had stepped onto a trapped pressure plate. Two plant monstrosities charged to the right, and the other two, including the largest wolf, charged left to avoid the patch of blue flowers entirely. That gave him just enough time to turn and run, allowing instinct to guide him as he headed deeper into the forest.

He didn't have the luxury of looking back and seeing how close the wolves were. His sight was focused, darting to his left and right to find the path of least resistance when available. And when it wasn't, he bulldozed his way through the underbrush. Bushes, weeds, and thorns? None of that mattered as he quickly accrued multiple shallow cuts and scrapes. 

What mattered was the sound of thunks and cracks as rotten wood chased him. Even worse, though it was only his ears tracking his pursuers, he could tell they were gaining on him. It wouldn't be long before they were nipping at his heels. He needed something- a distraction, an obstacle, anything!

A growl came from behind him and to his left. Neil instinctually juked to his right, plowing through a patch of thistles as the snapping of fragile wood slammed into the ground. Even then, he resisted the urge to look back. Was that one less wolf? He hoped so as he shifted to his left, aiming to slip between two-

Pain erupted from his back right hoof as what felt like dozens of small wooden spikes pierced through his skin and fur into the muscle beneath. With a roar of anger, pain, and fear, Neil forcefully ripped his leg out of the wolf's jaw as he continued forward. Besides a minor stumble, Neil managed to weave between the two trees as another conglomerate of wood tried, and failed to pounce on him as it smashed into the tree on his right instead.

Two wolves down and two to go. Even then, Neil knew he was at a disadvantage now. He could feel multiple shards of wood grinding in the wound each time his back hoof made contact with the ground, sending multiple jolts of pain up his spine. Reminding him of his dire situation, along with the unknown amount of cuts and scrapes covering his chest. 

He was frantic, looking this way and that, trying to find an escape route. And if not that, then anything that could act as a deterrent for the wolves still thumping and barking excitedly through the underbrush behind him. Did they smell his wound? Could they smell his wound? He didn't know as he pushed off with his back legs and leaped into the air. 

His injured leg almost collapsed from the pain as his muscles spasmed, but it held, allowing him to soar over a fallen log. Judging by the scrabbling of multiple monsters behind him, he might have gained some much-needed ground. But, it wasn't enough since the wolves were still on his trail.

He wasn't going to give up his brief respite, though, as he scanned the surrounding area. Not to look for the path of least resistance but a proper escape.

Nothing stood out as he looked from left to right. However, whether it was dumb luck- or the fact that he should have been paying attention to where he was going, he burst through the treeline. His chosen path suddenly came to an abrupt and steep-looking end, with the ledge of a cliff not even five feet in front of him. 

Neil's first instinct was to try and stop as he dug his front hooves into the dirt. However, his forward momentum wasn't so easily diverted as his hooves slipped over the edge. For a moment of abject terror, Neil felt as if the world had slowed down. He could see the ground below, a veritable field of stone boulders and torn-up dirt, with the odd thick tree standing upright, almost as if there had been a landslide recently. Unfortunately, said the landslide was at least fifty feet below his current height. 

There was no way he was going to survive that kind of fall- Whumph!

A sudden strain against his back pulled him back into reality, and he noticed that he wasn't falling- fast at least. He also felt the familiar, addictive feeling of air flowing along his feathers as he glided forward. Gathering his wits, Neil locked his wings in place, just like Rainbow taught him before another catastrophe could happen.

Unintentional as it was, he couldn't deny the sudden elation erupting in his chest and overriding his previous terror. The chase had been far too close, but in the end, he had won. The sky had been his unintended escape, and as far as he knew, plant wolves couldn't fly. Now, his only problem was finding a place to land.

The landslide might have cleared a decent chunk of tree cover in the surrounding area, but that still left large swathes of shattered rock, some of which looked relatively jagged and sharp. However, there was one rather large, somewhat round boulder that looked ideal. 

With little else to choose from, he slowly banked towards it. 

Neil still had to circle it twice before he bled enough of his elevation away to land on the rock. When he did, he made sure not to put much pressure on his injured leg, which was still painfully throbbing. Now that he had a solid stone underneath his hooves, he immediately looked over his injury.

It wasn't pretty but, it also wasn't the worst thing he'd seen—thanks to the internet. He found himself to be somewhat befuddled to see not just wooden shards sticking out of the wound, but an entire upper jaw made of wood anchored into his flesh by its teeth. He couldn't help but poke it, only to hiss in pain as he moved the teeth still wedged deep into his leg. 

Neil knew he had to remove it at some point; otherwise, it would likely get infected. But, for the moment, he just wanted to sit and rest. So that's exactly what he did as he spun around on his three uninjured legs and plopped his butt down while facing the cliff.

Pacing along the edge of the cliff, looking both pissed off and disgruntled by their posture alone were the four timberwolves that chased him. He knew it was them not only due to the one larger wolf but also because one of the smaller ones was missing half of its upper snout. 

Neil released a smug snort at their frustration. It may have been close, but he still snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Literally, given the jaw embedded into his leg. "That's right, you Pussy Ass Bitches! I won, and you lost; now fuck off!"

They must have heard him clearly because the largest one paused. Though Neil couldn't see it, he felt the wolf's glare. But, they couldn't do anything. They were stuck at the top of the cliff, and he was sitting on top of a boulder. He was perfectly safe as the larger one resumed its movement and walked by one of the smaller ones.

Only to swipe its paw and push the smaller wolf off the cliff.

Neil watched in confusion as a second and a third wolf followed the first to their deaths, each shattering into a hundred or more wooden shards against the rocks before the larger one finally took the plunge.

'What the fuck?' Was all he could think after watching the murder-suicide of an entire timberwolf pack. Why would they do that? It made no god-damned sense at all...

Only to feel a searing pain in his leg as the upper jaw tore itself out. "Fuck!"

He could still feel some of the teeth wriggling inside the wound, trying to remove themselves on their own somehow. In response, his leg spasmed in extreme pain as his front hooves clamped down on the wound. Without the jaw and the majority of teeth to staunch the bleeding, a small amount of red flowed through his fur and stained the top of the boulder.

Even worse, he tracked the jaw as it half flew, half crashed over the shards of broken rock until it finally vanished near where the timberwolves fell. As if they were powered by some sort of necromancy, Neil watched as the shattered pieces of wood merged together again and reformed with other pieces into the rough shape of a body. The process took minutes, but soon enough, all four wolves were standing, fully formed as if nothing had happened, including the large one that looked particularly smug.

By the time the teeth stopped moving, the pack had already covered most of the distance between the base of the cliff and the boulder he was currently resting on. 

Neil's recent good feelings vanished like smoke in the wind, leaving only the thought that, at the very least, the boulder was eight to ten feet taller than the surrounding rubble- too tall for the wolves to climb, he hoped. But even then, that meant his only option was to wait and outlast the wolves. 

If he could even outlast them. For all he knew, they survived on photosynthesis and used the corpses of animals they killed as fertilizer. If that was the case, he was screwed…unless he somehow unlocked the secrets of flight. He now had plenty of time to learn, so long as he didn't make a mistake and fall into the waiting jaws of his hunters.

'Could this day get any worse?' He complained mentally, unwilling to taunt the larger wolf in case it thought outside of the box for a second time that day.

As if to answer his silent plea, the sound of wooden claws scrabbling against the side of the rock answered him. Shortly after, a pained growl followed as gravity dragged the creature back down into the ground. It wasn't much, but Neil took some delight from the creature's pain after its failed attempt. 

It became almost rhythmic as the wolves repeatedly attempted to climb the rock, only to constantly fail. Scratching, cracking, and finally frustrated growling, only to repeat. He didn't know how much time had passed as he sat on his boulder, but it was long enough for most of the blood in his fur to darken and dry and his wounds to start scabbing over.

However, the sound of an out-of-place yelp quickly caught his attention. Enough for Neil to slowly spin in place, then slide up to the edge for a quick peek. A substantial part of him was expecting to pull back to avoid an attempt to bite his face off or some other sort of trap. Instead, one of the three smaller wolves (the one that bit his leg judging by the blood still staining its upper jaw) was just standing there stiffly.

It didn't even look up at him as he reached the edge. No, instead, its gaze was transfixed on the gap between the boulder he was on and a large rock that had split in half at one point. Perhaps during the landslide, after slamming into the boulder he was sitting on? Either way, there was something very peculiar about the wolf as it stood there whimpering. Even weirder, the other three wolves were nowhere to be seen. 

It wasn't until the wolf's shoulder stiffened that Neil noticed the subtle colour difference that had crawled up its leg and was now converging over the timberwolf's entire body. Strangely, Neil's first thought was of the three trolls in the Hobbit movie. Why would it change now if it was allergic to the sun? Perhaps there was something in his blood? But if that was the case, wouldn't the change start from the wolf's muzzle? It was clear whatever had caused the wolf's legs and body to lock up started from its feet. 

The hopeful part of Neil thought there might be a time limit for a wolf to last before it had to reattach or rejuvenate itself somehow. Maybe there was an evil tree they had to connect to and recharge from, like a cursed roomba dock? That would also explain why the other wolves ran away.

Whatever the case may be, Neil watched as the lighter shade of brown slowly crawled up its neck and finally across its entire head. The ethereal green specks in its eye sockets simply vanished as if they were little candle flames that were snuffed. If the timberwolf could die, Neil was pretty sure that was the moment it did as the transformation finished.

Now, he was all alone with an odd-looking statue of a wooden wolf. At least, that was the thought until he heard an odd chirp from below. Instinctively, Neil looked down, only to see an inquisitive-looking chicken staring up at him with red eyes. 

It gave a confused series of clucks as it looked at him for quite a few seconds... before its beak somehow curved into an unnerving smile that caused the hair at the back of his neck to stand on end. It revealed multiple small, sharp, and pointy-looking teeth that did not belong on a chicken.

Neil's first instinct was to move away from the edge, but just like the blue flowers earlier that day, he couldn't look away. Unlike the blue flowers, however, he wasn't feeling hazy or befuddled. He also noticed when the pain from his leg simply vanished, as if the bite had never happened.

By that point, the chicken started to cluck in an almost cackling manner before it took a step out from between the crevice. Its head might have been that of a chicken, mostly. But the rest of its green, almost slimy-looking scaled body was not. With its scaled wings and tail with red spikes, Neil was reminded of a twisted version of Spike in a way. It was as if this creature was some sort of hybrid...

Not that Neil had much time to think such things. He was thoroughly panicking as he lost feeling in his shoulders and hips. It was clear that this thing killed the wolf, and the same thing was happening to him. He tried to pull away, to move, anything! But he couldn't, transfixed on those large, evil red eyes.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' Was all that tore through his mind as his chest stiffened, and it became harder and harder to breathe. Any second now, only his head would be left unfrozen as he took a deep breath and held it. Hoping, praying for a miracle to appear, and save him from his fate as his neck stiffened up-

A glass jar full of yellow liquid shattered against the side of the boulder, splashing everywhere, including the small reptilian monster, as it gave a terrified squawk. 

The shift was immediate as Neil felt the monster release its mysterious hold over him. His eyes immediately tried to look in the direction where the jar came from, but he couldn't see far enough. Even then, it was too late, as he felt his ears stiffening. The last thing he heard before the sounds of the forest vanished and his vision became black was an oddly lyrical female voice.

"Begone, foul cock! Flee, and find a new lair to flock!"


~~~


Only for his senses to return to him immediately, as Neil found himself submerged in some sort of thick, warm liquid with the viscosity of syrup. His muscles felt sore and stiff, but his limbs were no longer frozen as he lashed out to orientate himself or, better yet, find the surface! Whatever he was in, he quickly found out it was relatively small. 

All four of his hooves slammed into the side of the container with a wooden thunk, revealing it was barely large enough to fit him inside. This included his back right leg, which sent a welcome jolt of searing pain up the limb- confirming he wasn't dead just yet.

He would be soon, however, if he didn't find the surface. His lungs weren't burning yet, but he also didn't want to experience drowning as both of his front hooves felt further and further along the wooden wall. His right hoof was the first to feel the lip, and he quickly hooked his wrist over the edge as he pulled himself up and over. 

His entire nasal cavity felt like it was clogged with the muddy gunk covering him, leaving an unpleasant, slimy, almost chalk-like taste at the back of his throat. Thankfully, whatever it was, it didn't act like glue since he was able to part his lips and gulp down one deep breath after another of fresh, valuable air...

Only to have his entire head assaulted with a stiff and coarse feeling towel. Whoever it was, they sounded similar to the voice that yelled moments ago as she muttered, "A stallion traveling alone in the Everfree? You must have a brain the size of a pea."

As she finished her scathing rhyme, the towel pulled away. Neil could still feel a trace of slime on his fur and up his nose, but he could at least open his eyes. A single mare took up most of his sight, though she wasn't like any pony he'd seen before. Her coat colour was strikingly similar to his own, but unlike his at the same time, with multiple darker stripes covering her body. 

The oddly patterned pony also had a thing for gold, judging by the numerous loops she wore around her neck and hanging from the base of her ears. She also looked at him like an errant child lost in a supermarket. 

Glancing to his right, he found himself in a relatively large, if roughly hewn, wooden interior. He was inside a house somewhere, though he wouldn't say it was built to any standard. The walls curved and shifted, with many African-esque masks hung in odd places as decoration. Shelf space was also plentiful, though most of the shelves were carved into little nooks and crannies and taken up by bottles and jars. To put it bluntly, it felt almost like he was inside a tree.

But if that were the case, then the tree had to be as massive as a redwood, which would then collapse because most of the support would be carved out to make this kind of living space. It was very odd as Neil turned back to the pony, now wielding a fresh, if just as stiff-looking, towel.

"If you're done gawking at my abode, perhaps you can say why you turned down the Everfree road?" She asked as she scrubbed the back of his head and the half of his neck that wasn't submerged.

However, Neil wasn't interested in answering questions- not when he had far too many of his own that needed answering, as they all jumbled out. "What was that thing? Are you the one who scared it away? Do you have some more of whatever that was?.. How am I still alive?"

Her drying paused for a second, perhaps two, before answering. "The foul beast you looked upon was a cockatrice. Its evil gaze turns victims to stone in a minute or thrice," she informed him before throwing the second towel into an empty basket along with the first.

"I was out gathering herbs when I heard your boorish, gloating call," She continued, as she walked up to a small alcove stocked with nothing but coarse-looking towels. Without pausing her rhymes, she started loading them onto her back. "Worried, I followed the source of the voice, only to witness an Alicorn's fall. Without thought, I threw my Everfree repellent, and overwhelmed the cockatrice with a smell most unpleasant."

"Now you awake inside of my home- safe within the depths of the Everfree loam," She intoned. Once she had enough towels, the mare returned to the wooden tub he was currently occupying. With expert ease, she unfolded one towel after another with her lips, then placed them on the ground between the tub and a large cast iron pot. "But first, before you leave, we need to clean you of my potion. Tracking it around my home would be an impolite notion."

By that point, Neil knew without a doubt that the mare's rhyming was intentional. There was no way anyone could accidentally end their sentences like that, again and again, by mistake. However, he couldn't deny that her style of talking was also soothing, especially with her strange, almost African accent. So much so that Neil only felt a small bubble of panic when she mentioned finding an Alicorn in trouble.

Then again, he just woke up, without his cloak, in a wooden tub filled to the brim with warm blue-gray slime after a near-death experience. Was he subconsciously latching onto the mare's voice for support? Or was she yet another trick he had to worry about messing with his mind? He wouldn't put it past this mind-fuck of a forest as his eyes slowly narrowed at the mare.

"Who are you?" He asked, unable to hide the hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Most ponies know me as The Wanderer, The Zebra, The Shaman, etcetera," she offered, continuing to coax him out of the tub with slow, calming gestures. "But, my friends in Ponyville call me by my name, Zecora."

Zecora. That was the name Rainbow mentioned, for better or worse, meaning he was relatively safe for the first time since he entered the forest. Unfortunately, his witness-free escape was also compromised now. It was a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things if it meant avoiding being turned into a permanent statue.

"Yeah, Rainbow mentioned you live in the forest," Neil admitted as he dragged himself out of the tub. He was a little self-conscious about his exposed wings, but there wasn't much he could do about it (as always seemed to be the case). A second quick look around Zecora's home didn't reveal the location of his cloak, either.

Once he removed himself from the tub while also favoring his uninjured legs, Zecora unfolded one of the remaining towels on her back and went to work without a word. His neck, shoulders, sides, and back were all scrubbed to remove most of the potion sticking to him. She also seemed to avoid certain areas like his wings, though she wasn't averse to brushing them aside with her hoof to clean underneath. Thankfully, she ran out of spare towels sooner rather than later, well before she could reach anywhere sensitive as the last one was thrown onto her growing pile. 

"Good, now quick, into the pot. I promise you the water is room temperature instead of hot," She informed him before the barest hint of a playful grin revealed itself. "...Unless you wish to remain covered in dragon snot?"

Snot. He was drenched, head to toe, in dragon snot. His throat tightened, and an overwhelming sense of nausea passed through him as his mind focused on what, exactly, he had been bathing in. He braced himself, fighting against the urge to puke for a second time in just as many days.

Zecora must have seen the obvious change in his expression and stance because she was quick to supply him with extra, and in Neil's opinion, unwanted information: "Dragon saliva helps break down jewels, rocks, and metals. This helps ensure their elemental meal settles. Dragon mucus has a similar property, which leeched the petrification magic from your stone body. Complain all you want about my ingredient choice, but by being alive, there's much to rejoice."

Neil did not comment; instead, he did his best to ignore the potion still covering him in places and wait for the nausea to pass. Once it did, however, he was quick to heed her instructions and make his way to the large metal cauldron. To Zecora's credit, the cauldron was three-quarters full with what appeared to be regular water once he dipped a hoof in without any negative reactions.

Zecora chose that time to collect the remaining towels and add them to the now overflowing hamper. Then, she threw a long-handled scrub brush on top and dragged the entire thing out the front door with her mouth. 

By then, Neil had climbed in and fully submerged himself. During this time, Zecora returned and placed two planks over the steps leading to her front door. It was a little confusing why she would do that until she butted her head against the wooden tub and pushed it over the planks and out the door with little effort. As she passed through the door, her tail swished aside, grabbing the door handle and exposing an unexpected amount of vibrant pink flesh as the door closed. 

Doing his best not to think about the parting image Zecora gave him, Neil cleaned himself up using his front hooves and wings to scrub himself down as best he could. Thanks to her previous work, he only needed a light scrubbing to remove the remaining sticky feeling from his hair and coat. Unfortunately, his tail, wings, and a few unmentionable places required far more work.

Once that was complete, he stepped out of the cauldron and onto the two remaining towels Zecora left for him. Looking over himself, was it the best job he'd ever done? The poor state of his wings was answer enough, with a definite no. Whether it was the petrification process or the cure, his feathers looked even more dishevelled than when he lived on the streets.

If Bulk could see him now, the Pegasus would balk at the overall state of his hair and tail. Neil couldn't care less, as he focused on his back right leg and the amount of blood that was oozing out of the bite wound. Without the slime to help act like a poultice, he was bleeding out again, though not nearly as fast as it did when he was sitting on the boulder. He was thankful for that as he hobbled over to the alcove where Zecora kept her clean towels.

Neil hoped she wouldn't mind, as he grabbed one with a wing, unfolded it, and quickly wrapped it over his leg to staunch the blood flow. He hissed as the additional pressure caused even more pain but knew it was for the best as he returned to the towels on the floor and sat down. 

As much as he wanted to leave, Neil knew he was in no condition to do so. Adrenaline was the only thing that allowed him to run on his injured leg. Without that, he was little more than an unhappy meal delivering itself to the nearest timberwolf pack, or something equally bad. No, he had his chance, and he fucking blew it all because he fell for those stupid, idiotic flowers!

Neil spent at least five minutes fuming at himself and holding the towel in place before the door opened, revealing Zecora with only an empty hamper held in her mouth. A hamper she promptly tossed aside (and somehow landed upright next to the steps) when she noticed the blood-stained towel around his leg.

"You failed to mention an untreated injury!" She scolded as she rushed down the steps. Once she was by his side, she gently brushed aside the hoof holding the towel in place, and started to unwrap it. "How did you earn this in the Everfree?"

"It's only a wolf bite. Besides- Ouch!" With the towel unwrapped, she lifted his leg even higher to look at the wound. "Easy with the leg... You didn't ask."

"Asked or not, you can do without the petulant inflection," She stated pointedly as she wiped away some of the excess blood with a cleaner part of the towel. "Left untreated, a timberwolf's bite can lead to massive infection." 

Each pass along his bite caused a moderate jolt of pain, which left him clenching his jaw with each twitch of his leg. However, he waited it out. He didn't know much about first aid beyond the basics, and she seemed to know what she was doing. Sooner rather than later, she folded the dirty towel and lowered his leg onto it like a pillow.

"I see at least one tooth left inside," She informed him, before heading towards another small alcove dominated by jars and small wooden boxes. She pulled a white box with a red cross on it from the shelf and made her way back. "It would be best for you to lay on your side. I'm sorry to say, but you're in for a painful ride."

Reluctantly, Neil did as asked. First, however, he ensured his tail properly covered everything private as he extended his injured leg. He expected a similar amount of pain from when she was cleaning his wound. However, with the way she braced one hoof just under his knee and the other firmly gripping his hoof to keep his leg in place, he was proven wrong when Zecora leaned forward with a pair of tweezers in her mouth and grabbed onto the largest shard still poking out of his leg.

His leg immediately jerked back. At least, it tried to, as he felt the jagged wooden tooth tearing at his flesh as Zecora carefully pulled it out. Somehow, she managed to hold his leg firmly in place, if one discounted the pained spasm of his muscles.

"Fucking hell!" Neil cried, shocked by the sudden spear of pain impaling him. It hadn't hurt nearly that much when the damned wolf bit him! Even worse, it was a continuous pain as over an inch of rotten, serrated wood was pulled out of the wound. Despite the pain, she expertly manipulated the tweezers with her lips and chucked the tooth aside.

She did this again and again, carefully checking every puncture wound with the tweezers and removing every shard of wood she found. In the end, she had a collection of nine full or partial timberwolf teeth before declaring him splinter-free. Afterward, she poured a sap-like purple potion (which she claimed to be a disinfectant) on a large leaf, pressed it firmly against his leg, and then wrapped the entire thing with a bandage to hold it in place as it burned.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Neil couldn't deny his eyes were watering. From the pain alone, this was one of the worst injuries he'd ever experienced. Including the one time he accidentally spilled a pot of boiling water on himself as a kid. When the burning finally started to subside, Zecora must have felt his muscles beginning to relax as she placed his leg back down and released her hold.

"Now that the worst has passed, I'll make us some tea," She told him as she placed everything but the tweezers back into her first aid kit. "Maybe then we can both relax, and you can tell me about your folly in the Everfree?"

Neil didn't answer one way or another on the matter. He shifted into a more comfortable seating position that didn't expose him as she pushed the large cauldron aside to reveal a well-built fire pit. After that, she set up a grate and placed a dull silver teapot on it, which was well-blackened on the bottom. Lastly, she picked up an old-fashioned striker in her hoof and somehow squeezed her hoof hard enough to create sparks with it. 

On the fourth attempt, the pre-placed kindling caught fire. With her work done for the moment, Zecora put the striker back and sat on the opposite side of the fire, her eyes watching him expectantly as the fire happily burned between them.

Neil opted to watch the fire, but even then, he felt Zecora's eyes on him. It felt like she was trying to piece together why he was in the Everfree, with or without an answer. 'Would it be bad to tell her?' He mentally asked himself as he weighed the pros and cons of such an action. 'Best case scenario, she might act as an escort to the castle without telling the ponies of Ponyville?' Even in his head, that sounded farfetched. 

On the other hand, he couldn't think of a consequence that would balance out his most optimistic notion. Not after all the time and resources she spent to unpetrify him and clean his wounds.

His mental debate continued for a minute or two before he finally gave in. "I was looking for Celestia's old castle."

She looked at him skeptically over the fire as she responded. "Did you risk the monsters hidden in their crannies and nooks, just to give the old castle ruins a look?"

Yes. It was both a simple and obvious answer. But it also painted him as an idiot without explaining in detail what he was looking for and why he was looking for it. He was unwilling to share his status as a human-turned-pony with anyone.

He must have been taking too long because Zecora spoke up again. "Most would call it stupid, some would call it brave. I'll simply point out that your quest almost led to an early grave. If you need some help, tell me what you crave," She proposed, before her eyes narrowed slightly, "Unless you're trying to play me as a knave?"

He understood the first two lines but was puzzled over where her accusation came from. If not for her, he would have been petrified, which was close enough to death? It still left him feeling a little unsettled, whether he was actually dead or not. "I'm looking for ancient history and information about Roam," He finally divulged to her.

"You attempted to traverse forest and brook, just to find a specific book?" She asked, her skepticism evolving into a fully incredulous look. "Why not ask Princess Twilight? She would give you access to her library if you were polite."

Neil felt the sudden urge to facepalm at Zecora's solution for obvious reasons. "I'm sure Twilight has a nice library now that she's a Princess, but I've looked through the library at Canterlot Castle already. I need something with older books and information, like the old castle in this forest."

"Twilight copied every single book in the castle that was traceable," Zecora countered, not at all phased by his explanation. She was more focused on the teapot that was starting to percolate as she moved it closer to the edge of the grate and further away from the flames. "After that, she sorted them into her library and made them safely available."

... If that was true, then his main reason for escaping into the Everfree, besides vanishing without a trace, became invalid. If it was true. "And how would you know that?"

"For a good friend and a favour paid, I helped cart to Ponyville all the copies she made." She explained as she stood up and made her way over to the towel alcove. Instead of opening the closet, she opened a cabinet with plates, saucers, glasses, and a complete tea set. With practised ease, she took the latter item, biting down on the serving tray with her mouth before returning to the fire.

Neil stayed silent during her work, both annoyed and somewhat pissed off. Whether it was at himself for being a god damned idiot, or Zecora and Twilight for invalidating the reason he came here in the first place, he couldn't tell.

Whether or not Zecora noticed his sudden change in mood, he didn't know or care. She moved from one alcove to the next, gathering one ingredient after another until her back resembled one of the many shelves in her home. Once she collected everything she needed, she sat back down and prepared two cups. 

At the very least, this allowed him plenty of time to reign in his temper.

However, after she poured the hot water, it didn't look like any tea Neil knew about. It looked more like a vegetable broth, with what appeared to be red watercress leaves floating on top. 

Zecora must have noticed his dubious look as she passed him one of the saucers with the cup sitting on top of it. "This tea is made from a watery herb called manticore's mane. The taste is unpleasant, but it should help numb the pain."

'In other words, more herbal medicine,' He mentally groused as he took hold of the small plate with his wing. As much as he disliked the thought of drinking it, Zecora hadn't done anything malicious to him. Quite the opposite, which was why he took a sip once after allowing the tea to cool down.

As she warned, the taste wasn't great. It was like drinking the most bitter stalk of celery he'd ever tasted, making it bearable, but definitely not something he would enjoy.

At least it wasn't as bad as the day's old salads he rationed in Canterlot.

"Once you're finished, we'll make a trip to Ponyville that's long overdue," Zecora offered before taking a sip of her own cup without any hint of distaste on her muzzle. "Does that sound fine to you?"

With the exact location of the old castle still a mystery to him, and an unknown number of monsters between him and the knowledge he was looking for... Twilight's library seemed relatively safe in comparison. If she actually copied every book available, there wasn't much of a choice, was there? 

Resigned to the fact that he was going back to Ponyville, Neil took a massive gulp of his tea to finish it faster. 

Hopefully Bulk and the others had yet to notice his disappearance?


~~~


Neil's second trip through the forest, for the most part, was uneventful. 

True to Zecora's word, the tea soon took effect after he finished, dulling the pain in his leg to the point that he could walk on it. After that, she was even kind enough to return his cloak as they exited her abode. It wasn't all smooth sailing, however, as she hooked herself up to a cart with the intent of hauling him back to Ponyville.

After a terse discussion, Neil's stubbornness actually won out over her pointed rhymes. Still, Zecora took the cart along anyway, stating she needed it to carry supplies for the return trip home. At least, that's what he assumed with her somewhat cryptic way of speaking.

The only significant interruption came roughly half an hour into their walk when Neil caught sight of a very familiar clearing in the forest. He froze, his muscles tense as he preemptively prevented himself from being pulled off the path by the alluring blue flowers. Strangely, the enticing feeling that drew him off the path earlier that day never came.

Zecora was confused by his reaction. But, after some digging, he caved and explained the events that led up to the moment she found him. She found his explanation fascinating and pointed out that he was the first she heard of to have such a reaction... He didn't know how to feel about that. Perhaps it was something that only happened to humans?

Either way, this led to Neil asking why she was out in the forest, which Zecora was more than willing to answer as they continued. It seemed that her entire supply of dried mountain berries had vanished without a trace. It was a little late in the season, but she still found a small amount of berries here and there that weren't already eaten or too rotten as she scoured the nearby cliff ledges. That's when she heard him yelling defiantly at the timberwolves and went to investigate.

In the end, if not for Zecora misplacing one of her ingredients, he'd still be a stone statue sitting on top of a rock. With that unsettling feeling, Neil fell into an uneasy silence as they continued down the forest path...

The silence lasted for at least half an hour before Zecora broke it. She transitioned to a three-legged gait, slowing her walking speed slightly as she pointed to an odd-looking bush. The plant's most striking feature was its long, almost dagger-like silvery leaves, which he hadn't noticed before. "We're almost there, looking at the sword-leaf hedge. It only grows within the boundary of the Everfree's edge."

Hearing they were almost out of the forest was welcome news to Neil. Zecora's painkiller tea was starting to wear off, and her offer to ride in the cart looked even more tempting by the minute. The only reason he was still walking was pure, bullheaded stubbornness to prove a point.  

Before he could respond, another sign that they were reaching the forest limits echoed through the trees as a familiar, raspy voice. "...You mean we have to wait? Neil could be hurt right now!"

The voice was too faint for Neil to understand what was said, but he recognized it. If Rainbow was somewhere nearby, the others probably were, as well. He couldn't help but muffle a groan at the implications, as he and Zecora followed the path as it lazily curved around a copse of dense trees. It was the only thing blocking sight between them and the entrance to the Everfree.

As expected, when the curve ended and the path straightened out, Neil spotted a group of ponies huddled together just outside of the forest entrance. Rainbow was the most obvious pony since she was the only Pegasus hovering three to four feet above the group. The distinct mix of colours left no doubt in his mind as to who was looking for him. His guard, Bulk, was also there, standing off to the side and scanning the forest.

At least, the stallion had been watching the forest until his stoic eyes locked onto Neil and Zecora. "Princess! I'd say our missin' pony ain't missin' any longer," He called out, gathering everyone's attention while also pointing.

As one, the entire group of mares paused whatever they were doing, looked over to Bulk, and followed his hoof down the path. "See! I told you he was fine," Pinkie cheered amidst a sudden cloud of confetti.

The next moment, Neil was forced to stop as he was confronted face-to-face by a prismatic mare who looked mostly relieved but with a hint of annoyance underneath the surface of her red eyes. "Dude! I flew all over Ponyville looking for you, and you've been in the Everfree this entire time? Are you crazy? You can't even fly yet! What if you ran into a manticore or a pack of timberwolves?"

"I did," Neil stated, not wanting to deal with her overprotective bullshit as he ducked his head and walked underneath the hovering mare.

"You did?" Rainbow asked, sounding confused, worried, and strangely enough, excited all at the same time. Still, she remained hovering in place instead of confronting him about his answer.

He used that time to try to catch up with Zecora, but the zebra mare sped up upon seeing the group waiting at the Everfree entrance. The rescue group also split apart in that short amount of time, with Twilight trotting up to meet Zecora halfway.

"Zecora! I'm so glad to see you," Twilight greeted with a hug once the two mares met along the path. "We weren't sure if Neil went into the Everfree, but thank you for watching over him."

"Twilight, it is good to see you," Zecora stated, gladly returning the hug with a slight chuckle, "And this time, you brought the entire crew. Besides the stallion's propensity to cuss, there was little to no fuss."

Before he could listen in to more of their conversation, Rainbow chose that moment to zip in front of him once more. This time, she was considerate enough to hover at the same speed he was walking. On the other hand, her upright, almost standing posture left her in a very risque position with little coverage. More so when she starts enacting moves to show off her martial prowess.

"You really ran into a pack of timberwolves? Were you like, wham! Pow! As you bucked the hay out of 'em?"

"Something like that," He begrudgingly admitted, trying to focus on the mare's upper half. He was more focused on surviving his encounter. Still, he thought he managed a few strikes with his back hooves, at the very least, while running through the forest like a spooked deer.

"Awesome," Rainbow told him before she started reenacting all the times she had taken on a pack of timberwolves (with Applejack's help on occasion). By the time he finally exited the forest, he had listened to three of Rainbow's clearly exaggerated tales. She was halfway through the fourth when a nearby shriek interrupted the Pegasus.

"Neil! What in the world happened to you?" Rarity asked, devastated, as she all but galloped to his side and began studying him. "Your mane, your tail, your moderately well-groomed coat!" She decried, somehow pulling a hoof-full of each and giving them a close examination.

"This is a disaster," She stated, far too emotional for the situation before she not-so-casually peeked under his cloak without asking. "And your wings!"

"Yeah, yeah, so he's been in a scuffle," Rainbow scoffed as she landed beside the distraught mare. "You're making a big fuss out of-" Only to pause when she looked under the portion of cloak Rarity was holding for her. "What happened to your wings?"

"Not just his wings, Darling, but everything else as well. This is the worst! Possible! Thing!" She cried as she stood up dramatically on her hind legs, only to swoon and fall onto an oddly familiar chaise sofa that wasn't there a second ago.

Since Rarity was no longer holding onto his fur with her hooves, Neil promptly put some distance between himself and the two mares. Incidentally, this put him closer to Bulk, who wasn't acting as he usually would. "It isn't that bad. Zecora just gave me a potion to soften things up a little," He admitted, trying to play things off as if he was talking about a new shampoo.

Unfortunately, by that time, Twilight and Zecora were well within hearing distance. "As unflattering as the description may be, I can do little but agree," Zecora spoke up, "My treatment made his fur a little more loose, after being turned to stone by an angry lizard-goose."

"You ran into a cockatrice?" Rainbow asked, fully shifting back to worry. "Didn't you listen to what I said yesterday?"

Before he could answer, Bulk spoke up, drawing attention to the one thing the mares hadn't noticed yet. "Not only that, but Neil's leg is bandaged up tight." 

Whether Bulk intended it or not, he brought on another flurry of activity as Rainbow, Twilight, and Fluttershy all encroached to look at his injured leg. 

Bulk also walked up but did so in a way that felt off. He was distant but also professional as he addressed Twilight. "Princess Twilight, if I may suggest, Neil shouldn't be walkin' right now. He should be restin' in the cart, if Miss Zecora don't mind haulin' him the rest of the way?" He suggested, turning to the shaman.

"There's no need for the question," Zecora answered with a nod, "That's exactly what I told Neil, though he refused my suggestion."

"And as I told Zecora, I can walk just fine." Neil countered, though it fell on deaf ears as Twilight's aura surrounded him, lifted him above the small group surrounding him, and gently placed him in the cart.

"You really shouldn't be walking if Zecora says so. What if you hurt your leg even more?" Twilight lightly reprimanded before she looked towards Bulk. "Do you mind joining Neil and ensuring he stays in the cart to rest?"

"Of course, Princess!" Bulk saluted before fulfilling her orders with a flap of his wings. Seconds later, he landed in the cart, making the limited area a little cramped with two prominent stallions taking up space.

Applejack also chose that moment to approach the cart, "I can haul the stallions to the castle if you want me to?"

"Thank you for the offer, Applejack," Zecora said before pulling at one of the straps with her mouth. "By chance, do you know when Applebloom will be back?" Their conversation soon dissolved into common, everyday topics as they switched positions.

But Applejack wasn't the only mare to approach the cart. Rarity also made her way up to the side he was closest to. She didn't stay for long, however, just long enough to impart a few words before trotting over to Pinkie, "Don't worry at all, Darling. Once we get to the castle, I'll have you looking like your proper self in no time. I also have your new cloak ready!"

With Neil held in place near the front of the cart, there was little choice when it came to seating. However, Bulk chose to sit down and brace his back into one of the back corners. Once the stallion was properly seated, Twilight finally released her hold.

'Fan-fucking-tastic,' Neil mentally groused as he withheld the urge to swear at the mare. Manhandling or not, he needed access to those old books on Roam. And to get access, he had to play nice. Without a word, he stiffly sat down, taking care not to put undue pressure on his injured leg on the off chance it might rile up the surrounding mares.

It wasn't long after that before the cart started to move. Most of the mares were walking, or flying in Rainbow's case, as a group about ten feet ahead. The conversation they were having was quite animated from what he could tell. He couldn't hear everything, but from what he picked up, they asked Zecora about what happened in the forest and got her side of the story.

Neil was more than willing to fume in silence with his less-than-polite thoughts as they turned onto the larger road heading toward Ponyville. The sound of gravel crunching under the cart's wooden wheels was the perfect cover for the rare growl that escaped his throat. 

Unfortunately, Bulk had a similar thought as he shifted closer to Neil's position. "Sooo, there a reason you abandoned me on the farm? Or did you just want to get rid'a me?" He asked, low enough that only Neil heard him.

This topic wasn't something Neil wanted to deal with. However, with nowhere to go, he audibly exhaled his frustration and composed himself enough to answer. "You've been working nonstop for over a week, Bulk. I just thought you needed a break, and I needed to do something in the forest."

"Was that somethin' in the Everfree so important that you needed to go alone?" Bulk countered almost immediately.

"Yes," Neil stated authoritatively. "If you knew where I was going, there's no way in hell you would have let me go into the forest! It's just my god damned luck that I-"

Neil found himself unable to continue talking due to the golden hoof somehow holding his mouth shut. 

"I don't know what's in that crazy head'a yours," Bulk accused with a flicker of genuine anger in his otherwise stoic eyes, "But don't you dare say I wouldn't be willin' to go wherever you need me to go. I ain't no coward."

Neil quickly brought a hoof up to Bulk's and pushed. However, no matter how much force he put into the gesture, the golden hoof didn't budge an inch or let go until the Pegasus finished speaking.

"Really?" He snarked, ignoring the fact that he could only speak due to Bulk's charity. "You'd go into the Everfree with me? Isn't it your job to stop me?"

"As your guard, my job is to go where you go for your protection," Bulk told him after a few seconds of tense silence. However, his eyes softened slightly as he added, "As your friend, I would'a helped if you just asked."

Neil opened his mouth to say something, To tell the bastard lackey he had no friends in this fucked up world, but the words caught in his throat. Some part of him vociferously vetoed giving even a hint of his origins, and he'd regret it the moment it was out in the open. Another smaller, more trusting part of him also acknowledged that it may have only been a week, but Bulk was always in his corner when he needed it. 

Hadn't he managed a reprieve from the castle for a night just because Bulk thought he needed a break? In the end, Neil shut his mouth, and looked away, watching the various types of apple trees as they passed by.

The silence lasted significantly longer before Bulk released an audible sigh. "After today, though, I don't know what's goin' to happen."

Neil didn't feel like talking. But he also couldn't deny the small spark of curiosity brought about by such a statement. Without looking, he asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"I wasn't there when you needed me, was I?" Bulk countered sadly, "Not just an injured leg, but turned to stone? They'll throw me back in ‘boot if I'm lucky, or they'll just throw me out'a the guard if I'm not."

What was there to say about that? 'I won't let them fire you!' or perhaps 'I'm sorry I got you fired. Do you want to be my freelance bodyguard?' Both sounded pathetic in his head as the cart continued to roll on.

No matter how he looked at his situation, he fucked up.


~~~***~~~


After the events of the previous night, Celestia found her attention being diverted throughout the day. Whether it was meetings in the castle, Day Court, or her scheduled appearance in Restaurant Row to boost the local economy, her mind kept drifting. If not for the Elements of Harmony and the brave citizens of Ponyville, what would Canterlot look like at that very moment?

Would the Tantabus' reach be strong enough to cover the mountain after breaking the veil of dreams? Or would it still be contained only to Ponyville at that point? What exactly would it have done to her country? Even more importantly, what had it already done to her sister?

And why did the surprise embrace of the Tantabus' amorphous, pillowy flanks feel so strangely good?... She knew the answer to that last thought but refused to engage with it or any other libidinous thoughts. It had been more than a century since her previous herd. If she were truthful to herself, her estrus cycles over the last decade had been pure Tartarus to work through.

Plus, with Neil now in the picture... She was not looking forward to this upcoming spring.

A few days of autumn remained, and the entirety of winter stood between then and now, giving her a brief glimmer of positivity. A solution to Neil's problem was sure to be found by then. It was only a matter of whether she liked the results and if they managed to help the poor colt. If not... she could only hope he settled into whatever path Harmony had laid out for him.

Sighing wistfully, she looked out the window of her office, which was perfectly aligned so she could watch her sister's Moon during its slow journey through the sky. Even with a clock, she still preferred the old ways of judging time. Using the celestial object's position within the sky, it was a little after eight at night. Pinkie Pie's celebration would still be ongoing for a few hours. As much as she wished to be there, she had been forced to decline her invitation that morning. There was just too much work to do.

With that thought, she turned away from the window and returned to her desk. An appropriations bill for S.M.I.L.E. sat there, waiting for her approval. As much as she agreed with the agency's goals, monster attacks had drastically fallen over the last couple of centuries. In addition, with the Elements of Harmony living in one of the few remaining hot spots of monster activity, there was even less need than normal.

She dipped her quill into the bottle of ink sitting at the corner of her desk and went down the list. The current salaries for all of her remaining agents? Approved. A repair and restock request for equipment? Approved. An increase in funds for recruitment? To her recollection, it would be another two or three decades before most of her agents would reach retirement age. Denied.

Her magic washed over the paper, instantly drying the ink as she set the bill on top of her completed pile. She then pulled the next piece of paper from the pile that towered over her completed paperwork and looked it over. Her eyebrows rose in mild surprise, not expecting to see a guard transfer sheet for the final position of Neil's guard detail, pre-approved by Captain Buckler herself. Her new Captain made their views on Neil very clear from day one.

Was Captain Buckler approving this to avoid the same mistake she made with Bulk Order? Or, perhaps there was something else going on below the surface? The form itself looked standard, and the information listed was also up to par. The mare in question held the rank of Corporal, making her equal to Squall Rider. She had been hoping for a more experienced guard to fill the position, perhaps an officer, but with Calm Waters this could work...

Before she could delve into more details, the doors to her private office opened without a knock or any hint of a request to draw her attention. Celestia was caught off guard by the sudden intrusion but acted calmly as she placed the paper aside and looked up to find her sister radiating royal stoicism.

"Luna, I wasn't expecting to see you for another hour or two," She admitted as her sister walked in and closed the door behind her. "Tell me, how was the party in Ponyville?"

At first, she remained silent. But once the doors to her office closed with a distinct click, her demeanour sagged, revealing her true emotions, something reserved only for their more private moments. "The party was fun, and though I wish to have stayed longer... There is business to attend. I presume you were planning to stay awake until we could talk?"

"You presumed right, Lulu, and there's much to discuss, I think. After reading your reports on the Tantabus and seeing the creature for myself..." Celestia dropped her mask, laying bare her own worry and desire to know. "Why would you force yourself to suffer an affliction like that, night after night?"

Luna's tired eyes met her own as her sister slumped into the smaller chair normally reserved for Raven. "Because I felt it fitting to punish myself for my past misdeeds."

Luna's admission immediately raised her hackles. She had been banished, forced to live alone for one thousand years on the Moon! Not only was it harsh, but Celestia felt it was an undeserved punishment since Luna was also a victim of Nightmare Moon. Celestia opened her mouth to say as much, but Luna cut her off.

"Before you berate me for my stupidity," Luna stated in a self-deprecating manner, "Know that Neil already did so during the confrontation with the Tantabus. If not for him and Princess Twilight Sparkle correcting my path, the battle would have been lost due to the depths of my despair."

That did not ease her mind in the slightest. She knew how venomous Neil's vocabulary could be from previous outbursts. "What did he say to you, exactly?"

Instead of answering, Luna closed her eyes and gathered magic around her horn. Within seconds, a wispy illusion appeared over her office doors, revealing the plaza of Nightmare Ponyville from her sister's point of view. In the background stood the Alicornified Tantabus, taking up most of the skyline.

Celestia even spotted herself, little more than a small, white pony, floating in the background as she did her best to harry the giant monster to admittedly little effect... A less than adequate showing from this perspective, she was willing to admit to herself. Perhaps she should talk with Raven tomorrow and schedule some light combat training.

Even though the image was frozen, it was clear that Luna was barely standing. The strain of the dream with an entire town's worth of ponies, let alone a monster trying to break free? It was obvious her sister was drawing on her last reserves.

Catching her sister's eyes, she nodded. The image started moving, and the sound of loud, deep rumbling washed over the entire room. Within seconds of the illusion starting, a jarring clang caught her attention as a cage flipped up on the giant machine. After that, Neil quickly removed himself from the machine and jumped down, landing next to Luna and Twilight.

With the strange helmet on, she couldn't see Neil speak, but she could hear him as clearly as he yelled above the noise created by his machine. "So because of a fuck-up one thousand years ago, you decided to repeat the same damn mistake and create that fucking thing? To torture yourself? How does that make any fucking sense!?"

Celestia gasped. A harsh slap to her sister's muzzle would have been kinder than that! But still, the illusion played on as Luna spoke. "You're right... How can I forgive myself? I am no better now than I was then. My creation is about to turn the world into a living nightmare!"

"Like hell, it will! What? Are you going to give up now? Are you going to allow that Thing to molest every single innocent mare, stallion, and foal in Equestria? Or are you going to man up, learn from your stupid fucking mistakes, and put that piss ass monster in its place!?"

The image froze afterward, with her sister nodding to his words strangely enough. "Harsh, but true. If not for his words shocking me out of my anguish, I might not have been in the right place of mind to listen to Princess Twilight's uplifting follow-up."

Celestia had to remind herself she wasn't there at the time, and if Luna took no fault with his words... She took the time to cycle through his outbursts a second time, doing her best to ignore the vulgarity and focus on the overall message. Even if she hated to admit it, there was some truth underneath, most notable his worry for Equestrian citizens. However, one choice word stood out to her, giving birth to a spark worry in her chest.

"What did Neil mean when he accused the Tantabus of molesting our little ponies?"

Luna's response didn't ease her mind when she gave a forlorn sigh before explaining. "The Tantabus was designed to create a nightmare from the dreamer's deepest, darkest fears. Mine is to relapse and become Nightmare Moon once more. Every night under the Tantabus' control, I would do just that. From that point forward, it would become the Nightmare's worst fear, failure. The Elements would show up and defeat her. Neil's worst fear on the other hoof, is us."

The illusion morphed, replacing Ponyville with a slimy, decrepit-looking stone passageway. The image was frozen, revealing Luna as she darted through a passageway flanked with torches but little else. As she looked closer, she could pick out well-carved marble underneath the fungus and muck. Not only that, but the size and shape of the blocks were similar to the stones used to create parts of her castle.

"Luna, what do you mean by that? I could partially understand Neil being afraid after your first meeting, but I see no reason why he would be afraid of me?" And yet, a part of her knew that wasn't exactly the truth. His unconscious reactions around her spoke volumes compared to his words and short temper, and those had started before Luna's introduction.

"I do not think Neil's fear of me stems from that incident. No, it's what we could do to him that makes him terrified of us." And without further warning, the image unfroze with the point of view following directly behind dream Luna...

Celestia felt like she was going to throw up. 

Even then, she could not remove her eyes from the scene until it abruptly transitioned to pitch darkness. She had heard her own voice saying such playfully cruel words. Watched her own body prepare to do an unspeakable act against the poor stallion with pure, raw arousal...

Luna's horn released its magic, dispelling the illusion to reveal her double doors once more. "His paranoia feeds into his fear that we will chain him down, and use him for our own enjoyment against his will. In a way, I can not blame him. Thinking back on the day he was found, from his point of view he was captured by our guard. Now he's under our strict watch in the castle, is he not?"

"Yes, but to protect him from such a fate!" Celestia yelped before she took a moment to compose herself. "Imagine if the changelings had found him before we did? Their Queen would be using him to breed a larger and arguably stronger army with an alicorn as a sire."

"You and I both know that," Luna affirmed, "But does Neil know? After the events of today, he clearly does not trust us enough not to do such things to him."

Events of today? Celestia hadn't seen anything that would suggest something else happened after the Tantabus. She gently placed a hoof against her brow. Much more of this, and she knew the added stress would cause a headache. "What happened today? I haven't received any reports out of the ordinary."

"Princess Twilight told me of the day's events. Neil gave his guard a reprieve to visit with family," Her sister informed her, "A kind gesture at face value, which he then used to sneak off to our old castle in the Everfree. For what reason, I do not know. Nevertheless, after some misfortune with the Everfree wildlife, he was found and returned to Ponyville before I awoke and attended Pinkamina's victory celebration."

The veins under her hoof, near the base of her horn, pulsed as her blood pressure spiked. Of all the stupid, idiotic things a stallion could do! Wandering into the Everfree alone, without access to his magic, proper flight training, or even his guard? He could have gotten himself killed or worse!.. But if she considered his reading materials, it made a strange sort of sense. He was obsessed with history, whether it was the Princesses, the formative years of Equestria itself, or ancient kingdoms predating her kingdom.

Unfortunately, it was a fool's errand. She knew first hoof that Twilight had scoured the old castle for every book available and diligently made a copy to place in her own library. Her student had originally planned to move the originals, but she had suggested otherwise. It was best to keep those old books stored on their enchanted shelves in the Everfree. If Neil wanted access to those old tomes, however, all he had to do was ask...

Which was something he normally wouldn't do because he just didn't trust. Were all ponies from his homeland just as paranoid? It seemed like such a sad existence...

Celestia refocused her mind. "At the end of the day, Neil returned safe and sound," She said under her breath in an attempt to quell the depressing thoughts fuelling her burgeoning headache.

She then looked to her sister, "You've had more time to think about this newest development," She conceded, "What would you suggest as a solution?"

Luna closed her eyes and took a moment of silence before offering her thoughts. "It's clear to me that Neil is chafing against his restrictions, not unlike a rambunctious colt trying to escape his Dam's overly cautious gaze," She stated, giving Celestia a knowing look. "If it were up to me, I would offer Neil a position that gives him both the freedom he desires and enough responsibilities to keep him safe and protected, similar to what you did with Princess Cadenza."

"That was my original thought," Celestia admitted as she removed her hoof from her brow and placed it on her desk. "Neil would have years, possibly even decades, to learn about Equestria as an ambassador after his coronation, with all the rights and protections that entailed. At the same time, we could find and establish relations with Canada and reveal if Neil's fears of experimentation were accurate or not." 

She paused, not fighting the urge to snort due to his absurd reaction. "Instead, he blatantly refused any position of power in the kingdom, citing his lack of citizenship specifically. Without a crown granting him that privilege, it could take up to a year if he even applies for citizenship at all!"

"Then we must think of something else, and soon, lest Neil attempt another scheme that ends in a worse outcome," Luna urged as she stood up from her chair. "Unfortunately, I also have Night Court to attend. If my court is as barren as it normally is, then I will ponder on the situation."

Gathering magic to her horn, Luna gave her a small smile. "Have a good night, Sister."

Celestia managed to get a quick "You too, Lulu," Before Luna disappeared in a brief, blue flash of magic. A brief check of the wards after revealed her sister to be in the throne room, likely ordering her lunar guards to receive petitioners for the night. Hopefully, she would have a few legitimate ponies in need of help, instead of the nobility trying to slip already failed legislation past her.

But that wasn't her main concern, as she once more focused on Neil's situation. Given what she just learned, something had to be done quickly. But what was the problem? The avenue she used for Cadence was shut to her; that much was true. And she refused to bend the laws of the land to expedite Neil's citizenship on his and her behalf. There was also the obvious question of whether or not he would agree.

An aching pulse of dull pain enshrouded her forehead. If only his age lined up with his apparent lack of maturity. Then, she could have adopted him, similar to what she had done with Cadence. But no, their initial medical scans revealed his age to be just a touch over two decades... 

That line of thinking was a path less traveled. Without citizenship, her government couldn't officially hire him. He could work, but he would have to apply for a permit and get a job in the private sector. Both would reveal his tribe to the general population, which Neil was sure to veto. He could remain a guest of the crown almost indefinitely, but sooner or later, the nobles would notice and start prying.

Judging by Bulk's reports, he was already catching the eyes of some noblemares. She would have to inform her staff and keep her eye out for any surreptitious digging. More so from the various embassies established in Canterlot. She could only imagine the flurry of accusations if the Minos or Griffonstone ambassadors learned of the sudden existence of an Alicorn stallion...

But, now that she thought about it...

A sudden spark of inspiration took hold. An avenue that allowed Neil both his independence and the protection of the Equestrian government blossomed into her mind. But to properly sell the image...

With a playful smile, she reclaimed the application for Neil's V.I.P. guard detail in her magic and reread the form. The corporal may not have been the best fit, and Captain Buckler could be playing politics, but this was an opportunity Celestia couldn't pass up.
> 11. Bilateral Pact
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 26th: 10th Day Since Capture)

In Neil's opinion, The Friendship Express was a gaudy eyesore. It looked brand new; it was a top-of-the-line steam engine of Equestrian design and had a quaint, antique charm (compared to something like a modern bullet train). But, the aesthetic was ruined by all the shades of pink, purple, and magenta covering the entire length of the train in the evening moonlight. Not to mention the unending amount of hearts painted all over the place. Even the front window of the engine itself was in the shape of a heart! It was as if the entire thing had been designed by a pony with an aesthetic that would excite a six-year-old girl.

... only to remind himself that everything about Equestria would have a six-year-old girl squealing in excitement, himself included. Either way, he was thankful that he and Bulk were the only ponies on the loading platform entering or exiting the train once it pulled into the Ponyville station. And, with an unusual amount of luck, the same cart he and Bulk embarked on was also empty of ponies. 

The interior also held a feminine touch with its design. Still, it was far more subtle than the outside travesty. The flooring was made of carpet, with two distinct styles and shades of green. The lighter of the two was shorter and felt coarse to his hooves. It reached from one end of the cart to the other, creating a marked path for travel amidst the softer, thicker green carpet around the bench seating. 

The benches were the main attraction since every single one had an eye-catching, etched, blue-green crystal back support in the shape of a crashing wave. Or, perhaps it was a stylized air gust? Neil could only imagine what kind of damage they could do if they shattered, let alone the fact that they looked fragile and uncomfortable. The cushions, however, looked very plush and added to both the wind and the water motif by being a sandy tan color.

The walls matched the bench cushions, though it felt as if the designer couldn't resist painting pink flowers here and there. The interior was bathed in the amber-orange glow of multiple old-fashioned iron wall sconces set above every bench. Neil thought for a second that they were oil lamps, but after claiming one of the empty benches, he gave the light fixture a closer look. Inside, he noted a softly glowing piece of polished amber nestled within the bulbous lower half of the glass covering.

Soon after he had sat down (and Bulk had started patrolling from one end of the cart to the other), the door leading to the platform closed on its own. Without any sort of fanfare or whistle, the train pulled out of the station moments later. Besides the subtle jolt at the beginning, the transition felt smoother than expected as he watched the station and Ponyville pass by at increasing speeds.

Two hours later, however, the shadowy, moonlit landscapes beyond the window had shifted from woodlands to something that hit a little closer to home. The still, grassy meadows reminded him far too much of home. He could easily picture a small campfire flickering in the distance, with him and his friends illegally drinking the night away. Making absolute buffoons of themselves, with only a small patch of shrubs or a copse of trees to keep them hidden in the otherwise flat prairies. 

With an hour still to go, at least, Neil pushed aside those hazy, half-drunk memories. He didn't feel like tearing himself down with feelings of homesickness. 

But, besides the world outside, there wasn't much to focus on. Bulk seemed bound and determined to pace the entire walkway back and forth, again and again, during the whole trip. He would stop at one end, hold his position at attention for a minute, exactly, then march to the other end of the cart and repeat the process. 

The one time Neil spoke up roughly an hour ago, Bulk gave him a bit of a cold shoulder. The Pegasus might have been too focused on his patrol to speak, spending his last hours as a guard as a professional. Or maybe he just didn't want to talk. Neil didn't know either way but presumed it was the latter option. Even then, it was clear that avenue of preventing boredom and unwanted thoughts was lost to him.

However, Neil learned something new about his guard and his uniform earlier that night. Shortly after their return to the castle, after he had made himself presentable for a second time that day, Rarity returned with a package wrapped in brown paper and ribbon. He had been confused for a moment until Rarity reminded him with a few words of caution that it was his new cloak.

"As much as I would like to see you wearing this and the wonderful reactions you would get from tonight's party, perhaps it would be best to unwrap your new cloak in Canterlot," She conceded with a strange mixture of delight and loss. "It may help you blend in with the upper echelons of the castle, but in Ponyville, you would shine brighter than a fire ruby. No, this would draw too much unwanted attention here, something I know you want to avoid."

Bulk had accepted the package for him, and he assumed the Pegasus would place it on his back (and somehow keep it there for the rest of the night). Instead, Bulk shifted his neck to the side, creating a small gap between his neck and the edge of his breastplate, and... somehow slipped the entire package inside.

The revelation that Bulk's armour had a tardis-like effect was quite surprising. Though, it did answer some of the unimportant questions accumulating at the back of his mind. Did Bulk carry around supplies with him during his shift? If so, where did the larger Pegasus store them? He didn't have any pouches, pockets, or even fishnet to hook things onto on the outside of his armour. Given Bulk's overall size, it was also a snug fit to get into the metal armour in the first place.

Then, there was the party itself. After Rarity's not-so-subtle reminder, he focused on finding Twilight soon afterward. The quicker he could ask Twilight about her library, the sooner he could start researching (And avoid the party entirely). In the end, he found her in the same room they had breakfast, reading from the same pile of books.

As he reflected on the exchange, he may have been too blunt with his request to look at all of her books, modern and ancient, that focused on Roam. However, Twilight didn't appear to be annoyed at having her reading interrupted or miffed at how he phrased it.

Instead, she lit up like a Christmas tree, clearly delighted by the thought of another pony asking to use her library for research. However, that excitement quickly faded into an eerie, almost Celestia-like smile as she stood up from her throne. 

"When I first came to Ponyville, I wanted to hide away in the library, research the legend of Nightmare Moon, and decipher the prophecy of her return. Much to my regret, I even avoided most of my very first Pinkie Pie party," She told him whimsically, as if remembering the events as she walked by.  

He had been forced to turn around and follow without a definitive yes or no answer, listening to the mare as she continued.

"I'm more than willing to share my collection of books with you, Neil. Maybe I can even help? If you're willing to tell me the topic of your research," She offered excitedly as she exited the room and turned towards the entrance of her castle. "But, we can schedule a research session for a later date. Pinkie should be finishing up her party preparations upstairs, and I need to open up the castle for Ponyville."

With her apparent dismissal and his only avenue of research temporarily closed, he had only one option remaining at that point: go upstairs and try to find the most secluded corner he could in whatever room Pinkie chose for the party. At that point, the only thing driving him was the thought of alcohol. And if he found the library first, he could find a book and sneak it in for some light reading.

Unfortunately, fate hadn't finished fucking him over that day, metaphorically, at least. As he pushed a pair of large, decorated crystal double doors open, the library and the party room became one and the same. A colourful rainbow of balloons and streamers covered the shelves and walls, leaving little to the imagination of what kind of party it would be.

A large pink banner was somehow hung from the cathedral-like ceiling in the centre of the room, declaring the title of the party in midnight blue lettering:

Welcome to the We Defeated the Tantabus and Luna Doesn't Feel Guilty Anymore Party!

However, there was an addition he wasn't expecting. Directly underneath the main title, in smaller dark grey lettering that eerily matched the colour of his hair, it read:

And Neil Survived His Trip Inside the Everfree Party!

Directly underneath that, however, was a long banquet table covered in baked goods of all kinds and colors. More importantly, three separate punch bowls were evenly spaced from one end to the other. Despite looking like a children's party, he had desperately hoped at the time at least one of them was alcoholic.

"Hiya, Neilly!" Pinkie Pie shattered the silence, forcing him to look to his upper left. The pink mare had been sitting on top of the bookshelf with a look of concentration as her hooves tied off a set of balloons to the top corner of a bookshelf. 

"I still have much to do and not much time," She told him quickly, or so he thought as she finished her task. But then, she took a deep breath and launched into an incomprehensibly quick verbal assault. 

"So-welcome-to-your-We-Defeated-the-Tantabus-and-Luna-Doesn't-Feel-Guilty-Anymore-And-Neil-Survived-His-Trip-Inside-the-Everfree-Party-I-know-you're-feeling-weird-about-me-and-I-learned-my-lesson-with-Cranky-so-I'm-gonna-go-finish-setting-up-and-talk-to-you-later-bye!"

Within a blink of an eye, Pinkie had vanished from her perch on top of the bookshelf without a sound before he could even try to comprehend what she said. The only proof she had been there in the first place was the balloons she had anchored to the corner of the bookshelf, and the small amount of confetti fluttering down from an otherwise unknown source.

In an attempt to maintain his remaining sanity, he had scoured the library for the most isolated table he could find. During this search, he saw a few potential tables but finally settled for a cozy little reading nook. It wasn't in a corner since the room's overall shape was circular, but it was nestled between two large bookshelves set against the back wall with little in the way of decorations. Some streamers were tethered over the gap, without any childish party games hanging nearby.

And that was where he stayed for the entire party. 

Very few ponies came by. Rainbow and her group of friends trickled by one by one. Each of them, except for Fluttershy and Pinkie, said hello along with some small talk, the longest of which was Rarity, who gossiped for over ten minutes. Zecora also passed by, stopping long enough to ensure his new bandages were wrapped around his injured leg correctly.

Whether it was Bulk standing guard or his bubbly personality, most other ponies who stumbled upon him walked right on by. He was perfectly fine with that, sitting alone and sipping on an overly sweet punch that Bulk retrieved upon request (none of which was alcoholic, unfortunately).

The only other highlight of the night had been when a scroll appeared in front of Bulk with a flash of light blue energy. His guard quickly snapped the parchment out of the air with a wing and, after a second of reading, opened it to reveal a set of instructions and two train tickets. Luna had ordered his return to Canterlot via the evening train out of Ponyville and supplied the required tickets.

This brought him back to the present, as he felt the train's incline take a noticeable shift upwards. It wouldn't be long before they reached Canterlot and his gilded cage...


~~~


(October 27th: 11th Day Since Capture)

With a frustrated groan, Neil looked at the clock hanging from the wall in his room. The way it worked and its overall layout was precisely the same as those of an analog clock from Earth. The only difference was its ability to shift colors, whether it was day or night. This meant it was easy to read the time as twelve minutes after ten in the morning, thanks to the sunny yellow hands, which triggered a very equine-like snort.

As if he needed a clock to tell him it was morning, with the sunlight piercing through his windows and heating his back and wings. He gave the book he was reading, The Times and Trials of Roam, one last look before closing it and chucking the paper waste onto the pile of useless books. It was far too early to feel this frustrated just from two useless books, but even then, he knew damn well they weren't the real reason why he was feeling like this. 

So far, the morning had passed like any other. Neil woke up at his normal time, took care of his business like he normally would, and, much to his surprise, even showered like normal. The back of his leg was still scabbed over when he removed the bandages, but it didn't hurt at all other than a light twinge when he removed the final layer. He didn't know for sure how or why his injury had healed so fast, but he attributed his pain-free existence to the same rapid recovery that allowed him to survive Rainbow Dash's training regimen.

Afterward, as was normal, he found the cart with his breakfast delivered next to his newly remade bed. Everything was perfectly normal, except for a tiny, pertinent detail. Bulk had yet to announce the changing of the guard, and Neil knew he was the main reason why. Part of him hoped that Bulk was over-exaggerating the day before. That nothing bad would happen after his not-so-small subterfuge. Another part of him was frustrated at the fact that he cared about Bulk's fate at all. He was a guard, first and foremost, for fuck's sake! The Pegasus was spying on him for Celestia the entire time.

But just like the day before, he knew that Bulk at least tried for his sake. And what did he do to repay the Pegasus? Clearly, he cost the man his job. He tried to take his mind off the entire subject with books but could only mask the frustration bubbling underneath for so long. Even worse, the books only added to it when they didn't contain the information he was looking for. He definitely felt the urge to throw that last one out the fucking window.

knock knock

Two firm, deep hits caused his door frame to rattle, interrupting his thoughts as the sound reverberated throughout the room. He knew immediately that whoever was at his door wasn't Bulk. As big as he was, the Pegasus still preferred to knock lighter than that when he was about to enter.

A few moments passed, and then a second set of knocks echoed throughout his room. Somehow, they sounded even louder and more urgent than the first set. Feeling confused, annoyed, and a little wary from the interruption, Neil hopped off of his bed, approached the door, and pulled it open with a wing.

As expected, Bulk wasn't standing there. Instead, it was a white Unicorn wearing golden armour, his horn alight with a deep, almost midnight purple aura. The reason why was obvious, given the royal summons hovering less than a foot away from his helmeted face in a matching purple aura. 

"By order of Princess Celestia," The Unicorn stated professionally, if a bit forcefully, "I am to deliver this formal summons to you and escort you to Day Court."

Neil's first instinct was to deny Celestia's request and slam the door closed. However, the fact that it was a formal summons gave him pause. Thanks to Bulk, he knew the consequences of such an action. If he was lucky, he could take the guard in front of him by surprise. After that, however? He was absolutely fucked. If he wasn't fortunate, all the Unicorn had to do was grab him with an aura and drag him through the castle to the throne room.

His next option was to stall for as long as possible, and he entertained the thought for a moment or two. If Celestia was on a tight schedule, then showing up late might make her feel just a fraction of the frustration he was currently dealing with. He wouldn't mind seeing her fake, motherly facade crack just this once. On the other hand, the sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could return to his fruitless search. Additionally, if this was a meeting about his trip through the Everfree and Bulk's overall fate...

With a resigned sigh, he turned away from the guard and settled his sight on the package Rarity had given him. It was sitting on his nightstand, unopened. "Give me a minute to cover up my wings. Wouldn't want the nobles in a fucking tizzy now, would we?"

The guard's ears twitched, but Neil closed the door before the Unicorn could reply. He half expected the guard to force his way into the room and follow after him, either spouting nonsense about not wasting Princess Celestia's precious time or being offended on the Princess' behalf by his poor choice of language. However, the door remained closed as he crossed the room and stopped beside the package.

He gave the package more than a cursory look for the first time. If his first cloak was any indication, then the brown paper used to wrap both was standard for package deliveries. However, the thick purple ribbons Rarity used to tie the package weren't standard. The material also felt quite soft against his feathers as he picked the package up by the butterfly knot and transferred it onto his bed. A not-so-small part of him hoped the cloak was made from the same material.

The package also had an unexpected heft compared to the cloak he had worn over the last week. Neil didn't know why that was so just yet. However, he quickly discovered why as his feathers untied the knot and unfolded the outer layer of protective paper. The cloak itself was tightly folded for transport, but even then, he could already see the overall design Rarity was going for. 

A thick, eye-catching strip of durable-looking faux leather, at least double the thickness of his previous cloak's trim, ran across the top of the folded cloak. At first glance, Neil thought it was a similar shade to his hair. But on closer inspection, holding a lock of hair against the material, Rarity had dyed it the exact shade of grey to match. He hadn't expected her to go to such lengths, but that wasn't even the most striking aspect of his new cloak. He could see a finely cut amethyst set firmly into the trim every six inches just from the foot and a half of the material visible. 

If that pattern translated to the entire cloak, that would explain the weight. It would also inflate the cost, even with a common gemstone like amethyst being used. Neil couldn't believe she'd go so far for a simple gift as he unfolded it. But, besides the apparent advertising she could gain from him wearing it around the castle, he couldn't see much of an angle why she would go so far.

A small part of him pointed out, perhaps, that it was a ploy to see how good he looked draped in her colours since the main portion of the cloak was a solid, rich-looking shade of purple. However, that didn't make much sense, given her fine attention to detail with the trim. Even if he couldn't think of the proper names, he could tell this shade and her shade of purple were not the same. 

This caused him to blink as his thoughts came to a crashing halt. Was he really comparing shades of color like a pony right now? Shaking his head, he went back to inspecting his new cloak. Beyond the purple majority, whether it be the material or the gems, there wasn't much more to it. Just a large, thick-looking hood attached at the shoulders, lined with light grey fur that once again matched his coat.

He also spent far more time looking at the cloak than he expected. With a rushed, not-so-deft twirl of his wings, he threw the cloak on his back a little haphazardly. But, after a few minor adjustments, the cloak seemed to fall into place. After that, all he needed to do was close the clasp. 

Unlike the hefty, full-metal peytral clasp on his ranger cloak, this one was far smaller and placed further down his chest. It was a simple, sterling silver button, just a touch larger than a toonie. He also noted with a small spike of worry that Rarity chose to etch a perfect copy of the ODST flaming skull onto it. He didn't know why, but he was forced to ignore it for now. On the opposite side was a simple loop of faux leather that was clearly meant to slip over the button and hold everything in place, which was precisely what he did.

The first thing Neil noticed, now that his cloak was secured, was just how deep the V-cut of his neckline went. It exposed far more of his chest; that much was obvious. But, with the clasp dipping below his shoulders and aligning perfectly at the base of his chest, he assumed the material hanging below would better obscure his belly (and sheath) from any mares looking at him directly from the front. One downside, he noted, however, was the hood itself. When folded down, it looked like a weird boa-shawl hybrid, giving him a sophisticated, almost lady-like look he wasn't fond of.

Finally, as he made his way to the door, he noted how the extra weight of the gems lining the trim kept it in place. They gave a feeling of assurance that only the most powerful gusts of wind would reveal anything untoward, something he hadn't even thought about with his other cloak. Before he could think of a proper way to test his theory, he pushed open the door with his muzzle. For a second time that day, he met with the impassive face of a Unicorn guard.

The guard's eyes darted down, then up, scanning his new attire and less-than-perfect grooming for some unknown reason. Was the guard making sure he was presentable enough? Or was he scanning for poorly hidden weaponry? Either way, the Unicorn's face remained impassive as he turned and started walking down the hallway to Neil's left.

With little else to do, Neil followed. It was the only option available to him unless he wanted to experience the wards that fucked with his spatial awareness again.

The Unicorn escorted him through the infirmary wing and outside to the grounds, taking the same path Bulk traversed the day he was assigned to Rainbow for flight training. This time, however, it was a few hours later in the day, meaning the civilian presence inside the castle walls was more pronounced as they made their way to the main entrance.

As he passed, he noted at least six groups of various sizes, the smallest being a group of three mares milling about the front grounds. Some were off to the side of the main path, talking animatedly. Others were grouped up next to the decorative shrubbery. Whether it was to take advantage of the minor shade as they gossiped, or to hide from the sight of a rival group, he didn't know. 

Unfortunately, more than a few ponies also saw him as he walked by. He could almost feel their eyes as they focused on him, and noted the lowering of their voices as he passed within hearing distance. However, some were more brazen than others. For example, he passed by what looked to be a herd of five Unicorns standing to the side of the same path he and his temporary guard walked.

Four of the five were colourful, well-dressed mares garbed in sundresses with frills in various places (that accented each mare differently). They puffed up closer to their back half, almost resembling ball gowns without the excess layers. Three of them also wore excessively large and decorated sunhats, while the tallest of the group, an eye-watering pink mare, instead wore a tiara stuffed to the brim with emeralds of various shapes and sizes.

The final group member, a light brown stallion with a tan mane of middling height for their group, wore the top half of an admittedly expensive-looking business jacket and shirt combination. Though, as per usual for a stallion, his entire back half was left unadorned. Revealing a wooden hammer as an emblem while keeping his tail half-flagged and unmoving the whole time.

The shortest pony of the group, a reddish-orange mare, had been the first to spot him as he approached. She attempted to hush her words, but even so, Neil had heard her shocked exclamation. "My, what a tall stallion! Do you know who that is, Gavel?"

Gavel glanced towards Neil as if he was little more than an afterthought before telling the mare in an even, if haughty voice, "I haven't the slightest idea, Lily," However, after giving his answer, the stallion did a double take as his large blue eyes narrowed in thought behind his relatively small glasses. "Though, didn't Upper Crust mention some sort of vagabond stallion apprehended by the bats a week ago? She mentioned he was wearing a cloak with an injured horn at any rate," Gavel added as his eyes locked onto Neil's plastered horn as he passed.

"I can't deny the resemblance she offered in uncanny," The pink mare added snidely, doing her best to look down on him despite being shorter. "Additionally, look at how he drapes his tail down all the way! How's a mare supposed to judge his virility? Unless... do you think he's ashamed to compare himself to a real stallion like our Gavel?"

The last he heard from that group as he carried on was the forced, fake, high society tittering that emanated from the two other mares, along with the slightly deeper chuckles of the stallion. Not that it mattered, as the Guard guiding him swerved towards the main castle entrance. The opinions from rich swine like that held no sway over him, though she did point out a second flaw with Rarity's cloak. It was the same length as his previous one, which only draped half a foot at most over his rear end. Allowing any pony behind him to glance freely at his lower hindquarters, much to his annoyance.

Then again, it wasn't designed to hang, was it? Unbidden, the image of how he would look if he held his tail in the same way Donut Joe or Gavel did popped into his mind. And, just as quickly, he shook it out of his head. He definitely needed an adjustment the next time he saw Rarity.

By that time, they were approaching the grand entrance and, by proxy, the steps leading up to it. Neil thought about adjusting his cloak but pushed it to the back of his mind. He didn't care about the opinions of the nobility. Still, he'd rather not look like a fool by tripping over something as simple as a step.

Thankfully, these steps were few in number and relatively wide in between. In design, they were much closer to the stallion guard barracks than the steep stairwells in Twilight's castle. Soon enough, they were inside without any sort of hiccup or fumbling of hooves, allowing Neil's mind to wander once more. At least, he would have if not for the unexpected traffic inside.

The same number of guards were posted in the same places he remembered from his first time passing by. However, the number of mares and the occasional stallion walking by increased by a factor of five at the very least. Most of the mares wore extravagant dresses or flashy-looking if gaudy, designer pieces you'd only find in a fashion show. The stallions he saw, however, seemed to be relegated to tight-fitting business suites or frilly tuxedos, which left their back half completely nude. The remaining ponies were clearly staff, wearing either maid uniforms or frilly tuxedo collars, leading the nobility to wherever needed. 

Needless to say, with his guard carving a path through the loitering nobility inside the stained-glass hallway, it did not bode well when Neil thought about the line waiting in front of Celestia's throne room. And to prove his fears true, as they passed through the large archway and entered the room, the queue to see the Princess was packed, with an overflow line leading all the way back into the hallway he had just come from...

'Why the hell is this place so busy? Or is this normally how it looks closer to noon?' Neil asked himself, not expecting an answer as he followed the guard before him. Like Bulk had done before, the Unicorn sidestepped the queue entirely, earning more than a few curious looks from at least half the ponies inside the queue. However, unlike Bulk, he didn't approach the somewhat hidden side door. Instead, he approached the guard stationed by the main door and unfurled Neil's summons.

During their hushed exchange, Neil swore he could feel the eyes of the entire room on him. Even worse, as more and more ponies clued into the fact that he was jumping the line, he knew just as many ponies were starting to glare at him. However, before he could indulge his desire to look back at the growing wave of malcontent, the guard that guided him here stepped aside and took up a position against the wall.

The door guard, another Unicorn of similar build, looked directly at Neil with a steely gaze as he gave a firm nod. During this, a wave of soft pink energy erupted from his horn. It overtook the door before it slowly opened to reveal an empty antechamber with more stained-glass windows and plush-looking chairs. "Princess Celestia will see you soon. Please wait for the current petitioner to pass through the second set of doors, then enter."

Neil walked into the room as it was the only sensible option available. Moments later, the doors closed behind him with a resounding wooden thunk, cutting off not only the crowd glaring at him but also his last remaining way out of this meeting. The windows were another option as he also made his way over and looked through the lowest, water-blue panel of stained glass. Judging by the bottom edge, the window was set about two average ponies above the grounds outside.

But he didn't feel like chancing his luck after yesterday's events. Somehow, someway, he knew he'd slice open an artery or something else just as important. After which, he'd be placed right back in the infirmary wing. Even if he pulled off the stunt relatively unscathed, then what? The shattering of glass would call in guards from inside and outside the castle. There was no way in hell he was going to glide across the entire grounds, then magically rise up, and fly over the giant fucking perimeter wall. The Pegasi guards would swat him out of the air well before that, and the Unicorns could just hold him in place.

Before he could think of any other escape alternatives, his brief wait was cut short as the doors leading to the throne room began to open with an ethereal grey aura. Before the doors could fully open, a disgruntled-looking maroon-coloured mare with a golden mane and tail that matched the pile of coins emblazoned on her rump marched through with a disappointed huff. She wore a snappy-looking brown business suit but didn't even give him a passing glance as she walked by.

With an exasperated sigh, Neil removed himself from the window. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could leave unless this was another scheme of Celestia's to force him into doing something. When he entered the throne room, the doors closed with a solid thud behind him, and the guard's horn to his right extinguished itself.

Very little had changed inside the throne room compared to Neil's first visit, with two notable exceptions. The first, an extra set of four guards, stood at attention along the right side of the carpeted walkway. They were staggered, with the furthest standing almost a full pony length closer to the walkway, allowing him to study all four in detail. Including the tall, muscular pegasus he recognized almost instantly as Bulk.

Even stranger, however, was the fact that Celestia wasn't waiting on her throne. The moment he entered the room, she had made her way down the steps leading up to her throne. Now, she was sitting on her haunches, waiting for him to approach next to the extra group of guards.

'Is this my punishment?' Neil thought as his pace subconsciously slowed. Was she going to assign him even more guards in response to his latest escape attempt? Or was this something else entirely? He filtered through a few other scenarios, but none made as much sense as his first conclusion. His only consolation, which eased some of his misplaced worries, was that Bulk was here. Contrary to the stallion's fears, it didn't seem like he was fired or forced back into training.

However, slow walk or not, he eventually approached the dais and the princess waiting at the base of it. With only a few meters between him, Celestia and her guards, he stopped. On the inside, he was a roiling mess of nerves and emotions, but on the outside, he did his best to portray how tired he was with all of her Royal bullshit as he stood and waited for what she had to say.

However, Celestia chose to act oblivious as she brushed aside his emotional front with a warm greeting. "Good morning Neil. It's good to see you're doing well after your trip to Ponyville."

Neil was having none of it as he all but growled out, "What do you want this time, Celestia?"

"Straight to the point, I see." She stated, her smile impeccable. However, Neil took delight in the fact that her ethereal mane wavered as if a turbulent gust hit it for half a second before she continued, "There are a few topics I would like to discuss with you, Neil. First and most importantly, I would like to apologize for the way I've treated you." 

Out of all the topics he expected to hear from Celestia, an apology wasn't one of them. He had been expecting an argument about the dangers of the forest or for her to question him about his research. But an apology? He didn't know how to handle being blindsided immediately like that. 

She must have noticed his confusion as well because she paused. Allowing the impact of her statement to settle before she explained her reasoning. "I've received multiple reports, mainly from Private Bulk and other trusted sources, that my actions have left you feeling stifled under my care. One even compared me to an over-protective mother hovering over her foal. While it wasn't my intention, I see how you would consider your current situation as little more than a golden cage. If you are willing, I would like to discuss how we can proceed from here?"

"By forcing me here with a summons?" Neil snapped, saying the first thing that came to mind before quickly adding, "That's a good start to this new leaf of yours."

"Would you have come if I sent you a simple request to join me for dinner tonight?" She asked in return, as they both knew the answer was a resounding no. "Or, would you have preferred it if I had visited you after Day Court later today?"

Neil stared at her unbroken smile for only a moment before answering with a resigned, "Neither. Just... get to the point so I can get back to what I was doing."

"Very well," She began, as Neil felt her demeanour shift slightly. "Do you know your current status under Equestrian law?"

"No," Neil answered plainly. He hadn't given much thought to his legal status since he was too focused on finding a way home. Now that she had brought it up, however, he couldn't deny the spark of curiosity that arose from her question. "Why does that matter?"

"Right now, under Equestrian law, you're seen as a refugee from another country," She explained before expanding on the finer details. "Since your arrival, this grants you some Equestrian privileges and protections, but not all, for only a year inside our border. For example, that would give you more than enough time to apply for citizenship if you so desire. Given that you are an Alicorn, I saw an opportunity to expedite the process by granting you the royal title of Prince, as is your right by ascension."

Neil listened closely to her explanation, noting in the back of his mind how she glossed over the exact rights he did or did not have as a refugee. However, he pushed that aside when she brought up her ascension nonsense again. "Which is stupid, you know that, right? I don't know fuck all about your government, so why would you give me a position in it?" 

Celestia didn't even blink as she deflected his accusation with practiced ease. "Just because you have a title does not mean you have to apply it immediately. Princess Cadence spent years learning the finer details of Equestrian law before I allowed her to participate in official government affairs."

Only to pause in her explanation as if reflecting for a moment before her tone softened. "However, I know now that was a mistake on my part. Even though you fear backlash due to your newly acquired wings and horn, you still wish to retain your citizenship and personal ties with Canada, correct?"

"That's right," Neil conceded, unsure where she was going with her current line of thought. At the very least, she still assumed he was initially an Earth Pony so that part of his cover wasn't blown. "Once I find a way home and a way to look normal, I'm gone. Whether you want me to stay or not."

"Once you find a way home." She brought up gently, "I will also remind you that we are more than willing to help. Until that day arrives, however, what do you plan to do? What if it takes over a year, and your refugee status expires? What will you do outside Equestria's borders without access to our libraries?"

"Right now?" He asked, more to himself as he took a moment to ponder her hypothetical question. It wasn't like he was swimming with options to find his way home beyond libraries and ancient ruins... "I'd probably go north to the Crystal Empire. If their library had nothing, my next stop would be the Roaming Empire."

"You would risk certain death in the Frozen North?" Celestia asked, her concern evident to everyone.

"If I need to," Neil doubled down firmly. "Canada's frozen over half the year as it is; how much worse can your Frozen North really be?"

"Compared to your quick jaunt through the Everfree? It is a very literal death sentence." Celestia told him solemnly as if reliving a distant sorrow from long ago. "Hundreds of ponies have travelled north over the years to explore our ancient homeland, but only the lucky few ever returned alive. I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to go there." She finished firmly before adding, "Not without me by your side, at the very least."

Out of all the statements and rudeness, that lone comment generated a ripple among the guards in the throne room. Some of them shifted ever so slightly as if a wave of unease washed over them, while others involuntarily flicked their ears to make sure they heard her correctly. Even Bulk looked like he was about to object before catching himself.

If such a trip really was as lethal as she was making it out to be, why would she say that? "Really? You'd drop everything and risk certain death with me? Why?"

"Why, indeed?" She asked herself, caught up in a brief moment of bemused grief. "I do not understand your fascination with the Roaming Empire. But, if that is where your destiny lies, perhaps as the Alicorn of History?" She questioned the room as her eyes glanced over his cloaked side, "Then I would be more than willing to help you achieve it."

She allowed her answer to rest only for a moment before she continued. "However, we've been sidetracked with possible what-ifs for long enough. I prefer not to expel you from Equestria at all, which is why I came up with a possible solution. Would you allow me to explain?"

Meaning she didn't want him to leave at all. Neil narrowed his eyes slightly, as he felt his ears perk up. If she was attempting to trap him, this would be where it was set. So, without saying anything, he gestured for her to continue with his hoof and listened closely.

"Your country hasn't been charted on our maps yet," She informed him, stating the obvious before continuing. "Even then, I would like to name you the tentative Ambassador of Canada."

"... That's it?" He asked, expecting far more from the mare in front of him. "I pass up one government job, and your brilliant idea is to give me a different one?"

She even had the gall to nod as if what she said was the most brilliant plan in the world. "It does seem a little odd, I agree. Nevertheless, ambassadors to Equestria normally serve five-year terms, unless we dismiss them early for unbecoming conduct or they recuse themselves of their position. That should be more than enough time to not only find Canada but also open up proper communications, at which point you may choose to leave if you desire."

So, she wanted him to hang around as an Ambassador until he found a way home? It couldn't be that simple. "Do you really expect me to believe that's all there is to it?"

"Of course not!" She said with a light chuckle. "There's plenty of perks and responsibilities tied to the position. First and foremost, I wanted you to know you wouldn't be trapped for the full term if you accepted."

"And what exactly are these perks and responsibilities?" He pushed, knowing there would be a devil in the details, somewhere.

Celestia paused, a faint 'hmmm' coming from her as she thought over his question. "Please understand that under normal circumstances, Equestria would negotiate some of the finer details with your country before choosing an ambassador. Without that, some of my options are quite limited. Still, I think an average monthly stipend should more than cover your financial needs. On top of that, without a full staff at your disposal, one of the ambassadorial suites inside the castle should-"

"There it is." Neil interrupted, not allowing her to brush aside her ulterior motive. "Even as an ambassador, I'm still locked up inside your fucking castle!"

Instead of being perturbed by his accusation, Celestia only blinked, then calmly shook her head in the negative. "On the contrary, you can enter and exit the castle to your heart's content. Every nation has its embassy established within the city, with the only exception being the Griffon Ambassador and her family. Meeting with them would be very hard to do if you couldn't leave."  

And just like that, she took the wind out of his sails by brushing aside one of his biggest worries. Still, his mind refused to let it go entirely. From how she phrased her final point, did she mean he could only leave the castle if it was work-related? If true, her offer was a slight upgrade compared to his current situation but still far too restrictive for his personal preference. "So the catch is, I can only leave for work?"

"Neil, there is no catch. You can leave whenever you wish, not just for work. Which is where your personal guard patrol comes in," She offered, with a flourish of her wing towards the guards beside them. "The size and scope of your guard detail is another topic I would normally have to negotiate. However, knowing how much you dislike attention, I've settled for the minimum patrol size consisting of volunteers like you requested."

She then shifted her neck to look upon the guards positioned next to them, "Would you please introduce yourselves?"

The closest of the four, an average-sized Unicorn stallion under the white guise of his armour, saluted upon her request. Surprisingly, Neil also recognized his voice as he introduced himself. "Sergeant Calm Water, Canterlot Solar Battalion, Castle Garrison Detachment, reporting for duty!"

This meant that if Calm volunteered to join this little farce of Celestia's, the Pegasus standing beside him who just saluted would be... "Corporal Squall Rider, Canterlot Solar Battalion, Castle Garrison Detachment, reporting for duty!"

The third in line, however, was a mare judging by her smaller, less angular chin. He hadn't interacted with many female guards, so he didn't expect much as she saluted next... Only to be surprised when he did recognize her voice. "Corporal Warm Hearth, Canterlot Solar Battalion, City Watch Detachment, reporting for duty!" 

The last and most familiar of the bunch, even if he spoke without his accent, was Bulk, who saluted just as rigidly as the others. "Private Bulk Order, Canterlot Solar Battalion, Castle Garrison Detachment, reporting for duty!"

When Bulk finished, Celestia gave them all a slight, flourishing nod in return. Allowing them to lower their salutes and go back to standing at attention.

With the practised pomp and ceremony now over, Neil gave Bulk a small nod before looking back at Celestia. "Let me guess. I have to have a guard with me at all times?"

"I know you don't like the thought of having a protection detail, but yes." Celestia confirmed, "Each Ambassador has their own set of guards."

At least he wasn't being singled out. No, he was just given a position where he could be watched non-stop by guards who were highly loyal to the crown... At least he knew three of them were pretty good drinking buddies. On the other hand, Hearth was the lone outlier on multiple fronts.

"And that's it?" He asked, feeling the beginnings of a pressure headache starting right behind his ears. "No other B.S. stipulations or surprises?"

"Nothing of importance concerning your new title," Celestia confirmed, as her flowing mane became just a touch more excited and turbulent when she added, "If you're willing to accept it?"

Was he willing to put up with her for an extra four years just to have access to their libraries? Would he be willing to stay even longer? He had a sneaking suspicion Celestia would be more than willing to extend his term by an additional five years if needed to keep him around. The only saving grace was the ability to terminate their agreement whenever he wanted. "...Fine. Anything else?"

She didn't physically move or cheer, but the moment he said yes, something about her presence screamed that she was bursting to the brim with excitement. A sudden wariness came over him, as if, at any moment, the other shoe was about to drop directly on his head. 

Instead, Celestia relaxed her posture ever so slightly and, with a smile that radiated happiness, asked, "There is one last topic I might be able to help with if you don't mind me asking. Would you be willing to share your interest in the Everfree with me?"


~~~


It wasn't a positive emotion, but Neil felt a vague sense of relief as the large throne room doors closed behind him. After all of that Ambassador business, Celestia had attempted to question and probe him for why he'd gone into the Everfree without success, which brought a small smile to his face. The meeting had stalled soon after that despite her attempts with small talk, at which point he had been dismissed.

Now, he found himself back in the queue room, surrounded by his new cadre of guards. Sergent Calm, being the highest rank, took point in front of him. To his left and right, with their shoulders aligned with his, stood Squall and Hearth, leaving Bulk, the lowest-ranked member, standing directly behind him now.

Hopefully, he wouldn't have to deal with Celestia for quite some time. Sure, he gained quite a bit out of her deal—a salary; a proper place to stay from the sounds of it; an extra four years to try and pull off some hair-brained scheme that hadn't been done before in human history. On the other hand, he was almost positive Celestia got the better end of the deal. For some unknown reason, she was desperate to keep him nearby.

Why, though, he would have to figure out later as Sergeant Calm Water took the lead and guided Neil and the rest of his protection detail out of the room. Soon enough, they passed through the stained-glass hallway and navigated around the various ponies either loitering or rushing through the entrance hall. From there, Calm steered them up the grand staircase and through an arched passageway on the second floor into an almost empty hallway.

Only two golden-clad guards were stationed on either side of the arch, likely to catch and redirect any lost or emboldened ponies willing to explore. Beyond that, however, the hallway Calm was leading them down was utterly devoid of life, reminding him of the halls outside the infirmary. Neil had a sneaking suspicion that they crossed into the protective wards when they passed through the arch, meaning from now until they reached his royally mandated suite, this was likely the best place to start questioning his new guards to pass the time. 

"So Calm, Squall," Neil started once the two stationary guards were out of earshot, "When did you two decide to join this crazy scheme of Celestia's?"

Oddly, Calm was the first to answer. "I would like to clarify that assigning protection to an Ambassador like yourself is not a crazy idea. But, to answer your question, Sir, the morning after we met you at the Brass Bells."

"Yep," Squall quickly seconded. "The Princess mentioned there was a signup sheet in the barracks after we left. Imagine our surprise when we gave it a look, and it was completely empty! So we signed up, and here we are, Nei- er, Sir."

So, at the very least, Celestia had been planning this for a few days? He also found it odd that Calm and Squall were the first to sign the document since she mentioned that the same day he met Bulk. There wasn't much to go on, but Neil filed those tidbits of information away for later. 

Neil audibly cleared his throat. He had a small problem that needed fixing before it got out of hand. "Okay, let me stop you all right there. If you want to stick with me and Bulk, there's one rule you have to follow. There's no more of this sir or ambassador bullshit. Just call me by my name."

"And call you out when you get a dumb idea stuck in your head?" Bulk firmly tacked on to the back of his statement, with only a hint of aggression. "Like takin' a stroll through the Everfree, for example?"

"I think I deserve that," Neil conceded after holding back the first retort that came to his mind. He did almost cost the stallion his job, after all. "It's nice to see you weren't kicked back to boot either, Bulk."

"I'll agree to that," And with those few words, any trace of blame or contempt vanished from his tone. "Though I'll say it wasn't your worst idea."

"Oh?" Neil countered, his curiosity piqued. "And which idea was worse than a life or death chase through the Everfree?"

"Tryin' to get me to buy you pants in Canterlot, for starters," Bulk shot back.

Neil found his retort a little on the odd side, but only for a fraction of a second before Squall interrupted with a gasp.

"You actually tried to get pants in Canterlot to wear!?" He screeched, sounding as if someone had just set his wings on fire.

"Yeah, and?" Neil asked, not entirely understanding the context. Yes, it was odd for a stallion to cover their ass in Equestria, but surely it wasn't that odd? "That's normal where I'm from."

However, Squall addressed his brother instead of answering Neil's question. "Calm, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this assignment. What if we actually have to go there and wear... pants?" He asked, sounding thoroughly disgusted at the idea. 

However, Neil also caught Squall's veiled grin as he said that, so he didn't put too much weight into the Pegasus' words.

Calm was also used to his brother's hi-jinks because he serenely countered with a single question. "Are you willing to disappoint Princess Celestia?"

Knowing the jig was up, Squall gave an exaggerated sigh. "I guess I'll just suffer through the indignity of... Canada fashion?"

"Canadian fashion," Neil corrected him, "And it's better than flaunting your cock and balls out like an Equestrian."

"But you feel so free!" Squall opposed, going so far as to give his rear end a dainty shake. "Besides, how else are you going to catch the interest of a herd if they can't see the goods?"

"My charming personality?" Neil countered, only to earn an equine-sounding snort from an unexpected source.

Looking to his left, he found Hearth in the middle of reapplying her professional, emotionless mask to look like a serious guard once more. "Speaking of, since this whole thing is volunteer only, why did you sign up?"

"Well, Si-Neil," She fumbled, caught slightly off guard by the question. "I was the one to chase after you that night. So... it's partially my fault for your injury," She admitted. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"In other words, the same reason as Bulk?" Neil asked, finding it odd that two of the three ponies that caught him were now guarding him out of remorse.

"You volunteered to ensure Neil was also okay, Private Bulk?" Hearth asked, looking straight ahead. 

It might have been a trick of the light, but Neil thought he also saw the faintest trace of pink on what little of her cheeks weren't covered by her helmet... Perhaps there might have been an ulterior motive, as well?

Bulk, oblivious to this new revelation, simply answered her question. "Eeyup."

"Sorry to cut the chatter short," Calm interrupted before anyone else could continue. "But we're almost to your new suite, Neil." To emphasize his point, Calm gestured his front right leg ahead, towards a lone wooden door set into the right wall. 

From this distance, it looked like an average, everyday wooden door- an oddity, given how grand everything else inside the castle looked. However, as they got closer, he found his first assumption to be wrong. The door was made out of two different types of wood, though their colours were almost exactly the same. The grain set the two apart as if an artist drew intricate swirls into the desert sand and somehow translated that into the wood.

He didn't have long to memorize the pattern of his new door, however, before Calm's off-white aura encompassed the doorknob. One subtle twist later, the door was pushed aside, allowing Calm to walk in first.

Neil followed right after the Unicorn as Squall fell in behind him. 

Oddly enough, the first thing to catch his attention was the carpet. With his first step into the room, he noted how velvety smooth it felt against his hooves. It was also the only thing in the room with a darker colour, having been dyed various shades of dark blue. In fact, the dye pattern made it appear like cracked slate or marble, with golden thread woven in where the cracks were.

The second thing he noticed was all the golden accents. There wasn't much of it, thankfully, but it was used to tie in the carpet with the stately-looking yellow-white walls (with thin golden lines and rectangle patterns that wove around five other plain wooden doors) and the white furniture with its golden highlights.

Looking at the various chairs set about the room and the two couches and coffee table placed near the blue slate fireplace built into the west wall, this was the living room. It had too much white for his taste, but it was free, so it wasn't like he could complain. Also, everything matched, which was more than he could say about his apartment-

He cut off that thought before any more negative emotions could seep into and ruin his already dire mood.

He also noticed a giant bay window set into the far wall, at least one and a half body lengths wide. But it wasn't just that, judging by the dark blue shelves built into it on either side and the cushioned bench spanning the entire width along the base of the window.

By then, Calm veered off to the side, revealing one last, unexpected surprise. Standing in the centre of the room, once more wearing her frilly maid uniform, was a mare he quickly recognized as Dainty Doily, Blueblood's wife.

The moment he caught sight of her, she did the pony equivalent of a curtsy. "Good morning, Master Neil! I've been reassigned to work exclusively on your suite and care for your every need, within reason, of course."

Neil did not like the implications of that title, as his mind flooded with a few anime recommendations Ken had offered to the nerd group. Doing his best to clear those images from his mind, he brought a hoof to his face and groaned, "Bloody hell."

Even with a hoof covering most of his vision, he could still see Dainty stand up, looking confused and worried. "Is something wrong? Is the room not to your liking?"

Slowly, Neil removed his hoof and shook his head in the negative, hoping to convey that the room wasn't the problem. "I'm not the only one who heard Celestia promise no more surprises, right?"

Dainty turned her head to the side, obviously not understanding the context of his question. Squall, however, answered. "Nope, we all heard The Princess."

"Good. And, no offence Dainty, but why is there a surprise maid waiting in my fu-" He cut himself off, before rephrasing his question, "Uh, inside my suite?"

"What's so surprising about having a maid in your room?" Squall asked. "Wouldn't you expect to receive maid service in the castle, Neil?"

... He couldn't deny that logic. Still, having a maid assigned to him without asking him first? With a frustrated groan, he trudged over to the nearest chair and collapsed into it. "It's not even noon, and I need a drink."

"Oh, I can run down and get you one!" Dainty offered immediately, "We have plenty of juices available in the kitchen; what kind would you like, Master Neil?"

Neil fought off the urge to snort in an equine fashion, took a deep breath, and released it. "First of all, don't call me that. Just Neil is fine, Dainty. Second, I need the strongest alcoholic drink you have in the castle right now."

"I... don't know if we have anything like that in the castle," She admitted, her brows creasing in thought. "But I can check if you want?"

"Please," Was all he had to say as he watched the maid quickly exit through the front door.

Once the door closed, he then turned to Squall. "Please tell me you have a bar night planned soon?"

"Well, I was planning to go to Star Light's for Nightmare Night with Calm," Squall admitted. "But I don't know if it's your kind of place. Loud music, flashing lights, lots of mares? You know, your typical nightclub."

Neil couldn't deny the fact that his last point was a detraction. However, this was the first time he had a chance to visit a legitimate nightclub. Sure, Swift Current had the Caddy Shack, but that was just a bar doing a poor imitation at best. He also had no idea what Nightmare Night was, but that was easy enough to rectify. "What's Nightmare Night, and when is it?"

"Wait, you don't know what Nightmare Night is?" Squall asked, sounding slightly flabbergasted. "Y'know, the spooky holiday. Dressing up in costumes, foals going out to play games and collect candy, stuff like that?"

The name might have been wrong, but Neil knew exactly what he was talking about. "Sounds like Halloween to me."

"Well, whatever you call it, it's three days from now," Squall informed him. "You really don't mind going to a busy place like Star Light's?"

"Why the hell not? So long as the drinks get you wasted." Neil shrugged before a stupid, wonderful idea hit him. "Hell, we can even make it a thing for the whole group. I'm sure Hearth won't mind drinking with us guys."

Squall's eyes seemed to light up with excitement as he turned towards his brother. 

Calm, who had been listening to the entire conversation, slowly nodded. "A celebration for our newly created guard detail? I can approve a night off for that."

"Sounds like a plan then," Neil said, sealing the deal. "The only problem is, I don't have a costume unless my cloak counts?"

"Nope, but don't worry about that," Squall offered with the same roguish smirk he'd seen when they met at the Brass Bells. "With your permission, I know just the place to pick out costumes for everypony. And, I'll take your Canadian sensibilities into account."

With Squall's assurance, Neil gave a slight nod. 

The next second, he was gone, rushing out the door almost as fast as Rainbow Dash.


~~~ *** ~~~


Excitement coursed through Squall's veins as he wove through the buildings of Canterlot's primary market area with practiced ease. Typically, it was just him and Calm going out to party at Star Light's. This year, though, he'd just convinced Neil to not only celebrate their newly formed squad at Star Light's but do it on Nightmare Night! Nothing but pounding music, free drinks, free mares in skimpy costumes, and with a bit of luck, he would be pounding some plump rumps later on. 

He could almost imagine himself dressed up on the dance floor, with some salaciously sexy thigh-highs, with the feeling of bass vibrations echoing through his extended wings and the mares they were wrapped around. It was going to be awesome as he swooped below a flagpole and the banner it was holding, which advertised beauty products for all ponies. 

First, though, he needed to fulfill his promise. And to do that, there was only one place he could trust- a place that bailed him multiple times, never once letting him down when he needed a spicy club outfit or a sexy little number whenever a group of mares tried to entice him into their herd.

After a few minutes of flight, he transitioned from the shelves. He found himself skimming over the less-regulated outskirts of Canterlot City. Squall knew its reputation inside and out, the hushed-up part of town that the nobility pretended didn't exist. Why, though, he couldn't understand. It was great! The costs over here were cheap, meaning many middle and lower-class ponies, by elitist standards, chose to live here. You could run into the most interesting characters, no matter the day. Not only that but the best and the quirkiest shops could only be found on this side of the mountain.

Which is why Squall banked a hard right when he saw the extravagant black and red rooftop with gold eaves troughs. Only one place could pull off the gaudy casino look without being a Las Pegasus casino, and that was precisely the place he was looking for as he landed on the rough cobblestone road.

Ripple's Risque and Reward was emblazoned on the sign as a spinning roulette wheel expelled less than proper clothing (but nothing outright lewd enough to trigger a violation). Normally, he'd walk right in, but after a few nonchalant steps, he paused, remembering that he was still in uniform. Not only that, but a few citizens who were likely out for lunch had stopped, watching him with confusion or curiosity.

'What the hay. Nothing in the rules say you can't have a little fun,' Squall thought as he gave everypony a wink and a wave... except for the two cute-looking unicorn mares eagerly watching him. They earned a quickly blown kiss in their direction before he spun around to face his favourite fashion boutique. During which, he accidentally allowed his tail to be brushed aside by the slight breeze he generated, revealing the goods.

His duty and obligations as a stallion done, Squall pushed open the door and entered. Once the door closed behind him, he took a look around. Displayed next to the door were the day's special deals. Normally, these could be anything from ponyquins displaying themed dresses to ball slings that hugged just right for maximum mare temptation. Today's deal was a full set of red lacy Nightmare Night stockings that screamed vampony seducer to him.

Though he hadn't seen Neil without a cloak, his new VIP was gruff and mysterious. If the night they met was anything to go by, he also had a thing for tufted thestral mares. For a moment or two, he giggled, picturing his VIP- Neil (that would take some getting used to), wearing such indecent legwear while also being swarmed by the Lunar Guard, who would be on duty during Nightmare Night.

Perhaps. Or he could pick these up for himself. It all depended on Ripple's costume selection and whether any would fit Neil and Bulk (Corporal Hearth had already planned to go out for Nightmare Night and picked up a costume for herself). With no more time to waste, he approached the counter. As he did so, however, a stray thought appeared at the forefront of his mind. This would be the first time Ripple actually saw him wearing his uniform...

He grinned briefly before blanking his face into the stoic guard look, 'This is gonna be good!'

"Hey, Ripple," He called out to his best mare-friend, who usually hung out in the back room of her shop, "I've got a fashion emergency over here!" 

Almost immediately, he heard hooves scrabbling from the back as his trap was laid.
> 12. Nightmare Nightrave
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(October 30th: 14th Day Since Capture)


The next few days had been an adjustment period for Neil. The infirmary may have only been a single room with an oddly large bathroom attached, but honestly, that was all the space he felt he needed. Now, even though he knew it would have otherwise sat unused, he couldn't help but feel like he was wasting the space assigned to him.

After taking some time to roughly measure the living room's dimensions (when taking a break from reading another useless book), he discovered the living room alone was large enough to fit his entire apartment in Swift Current. The excess given to him was absurd, in his opinion, and that didn't even take into account the other rooms of his suite.

For obvious reasons, the room where he spent the next most amount of time was the bedroom. Besides the comfortable reading nook in the living room, it quickly became his least disliked. The blue slate theme from the living room carpet extended into the bedroom and overtook the entire theme. Not a single trace of eye-burning white had entered the room, leaving only blues, purples, and greys to mix and create a shadowy cavern effect. A small amount of polished silver was used to trim the dark-colored furniture and the glass doors to his balcony, adding an illusion of silvery ore running through the 'rock'.

Overall, it was on the gaudier side of things. But, his new four-poster bed was the gaudiest piece of all. The midnight drapes and the comforter sparkled like stars, while the pale grey pillows eerily matched the color of the moon. His first evening sleeping in his new bed, he couldn't deny waking up in a cold sweat due to its similarity to Luna. However, he begrudgingly overlooked the night theme by his second evening. Whatever they used to make the mattress, he swore if he could steal, patent, and bring it back home with him, he would.

The next room over was a second spare bedroom, designed to look the same as the first. The only difference he noticed from his quick examination was that it was slightly smaller and lacked the personal balcony of the master bedroom.

In stark contrast was his least favorite room in the entire suite, the dining area. The blue slate carpet had been cut off at the door, only to be replaced with polished white hardwood flooring. Whether that was its natural color or it was somehow stained or bleached before being varnished, he didn't know. But, to continue the theme, in the center of the room sat a giant table made from a single slab of white wood, easily large enough to seat twelve of him with the same amount of chairs to match. Above that, a large golden chandelier with an uncountable amount of clear crystals was hung from the ceiling to refract the light it offered throughout the room.

The walls were cold; hard, polished, white, marble. But—underneath the finish—charcoal trees had been sketched and sealed. Their trunks weren't incredibly thick, and their branches were few. Still, they appeared healthy enough, judging by the aurora-colored fruits they bore. 

There was only one other source of color in the room, coming from the two china cabinets, each covered by full glass doors carved into the wall. They were stocked with the finest-looking quality crystal plates, glasses, and whatever else a person could need. All of these were kept to the same aurora-themed color scheme. He avoided the room entirely by eating at the coffee table in front of the fireplace instead.

It was easy to see the overall theme of the suite. In Neil's opinion, even a dunce would pick up on the not-so-subtle design choices centered around Celestia's and Luna's unique appearances. His only question was if it was an intentional show of power. A constant reminder of the Royal's presence in the castle? Or was it something else? Either way, the final two rooms thankfully rejected that trend.

The fourth room, he quickly learned, was a smaller, cozy-looking office that looked reasonably standard in an older, aristocratic way. Most of the room was taken up by a beautifully carved brownish-red wooden desk with a high-backed, brown faux leather office chair behind it. Four wooden chairs made from the same wood as the desk, which also had cozy-looking fabric cushions that matched the blue carpet, were placed between the door and the desk. Instead of walls, sturdy-looking polished wood bookshelves enveloped the entire room from floor to ceiling.

And, last but not least, the final room could only be described as a Caribbean getaway built into an extra-large bathroom. From the ludicrously large sink counter and everything below it, most of the room was covered with expertly cut sandy tan tiles. However, the extra-large hot-tub-sized bath and massive shower were tiled with differing shades of aquamarine gems that shifted to look like the ripple of gentle waves.

He was normally a shower guy, but Neil couldn't deny that having the chance to relax in his new bath had been the highlight of his first day. He had been tempted by its array of twenty scents and soaps along the ledge, opting to use and doze off to the scent of coconut (to match the tropical theme).

Not everything was fun and relaxation, however.

That very evening, Dainty delivered not only his supper but an inch-thick stack of papers formally detailing his rights and obligations as an Ambassador. She also informed him that within the pile were multiple documents that required his signature, all of which were marked, to finalize his position. Not one to put it off (for long, that is. His food came first), he attempted to power through it before bed that night. 

The sheer amount of legalese and unfamiliar political jargon quickly put that plan on pause. He was forced to call Dainty back and ask her to bring a specific kind of law dictionary that translated words like indemnity or jurisprudence. Many of the terms and agreements were temporary and loosely based on traditional agreements created between Equestria and its allies centuries ago. Even with the dictionary to help, it took hours to get through and sign all the required documents. 

However, the worst thing that came out of the documents had nothing to do with them. Every mention of a five-year limitation or need for renewal hammered home the very real possibility that he wouldn't be making it home any time soon. That he might need all that time, and more, to find a way back to his friends and family... if they were willing to wait that long for him.

In the end, he would rate that pile of documents as the worst thing he ever had to read, including the battle reports within Battle for the Crystal Empire.

Then, after his late night dealing with documents, there was the fact that he was woken up the very next day at six in the morning by a serene-looking Calm. His eyes were barely open when the Unicorn promptly informed him about the changing of the guard (something Bulk normally did at eight in the morning). That wasn't a fun experience. After a short, if frustrated, back and forth, Neil learned all about the minute details and reasons behind the shift in schedule.

When it was just Bulk, he worked for twelve hours, from eight to eight, all six days a week (which had been news to Neil, learning that the ponies only had six days a week). After that, two of his four Lunar guards would work a six-hour shift, then change with the other two. Now, with an entire patrol of Solar guards, shift change was at six in the morning for Calm and Squall, at noon with Bulk and Hearth, then at six in the afternoon, and finally at midnight for the Lunar guards.

Calm also pointed out that the only exception was the weekend. During those two days, instead of pairs, there would be a solo guard through each six-hour rotation, allowing one guard from each pair to take the first day off and then switch around for the second day. 

Needless to say, after having all of that dumped on him at too fucking early in the morning, without even a cup of coffee to stimulate his brain, he ordered Calm to inform him about the change at a more reasonable time. Then, once the Unicorn was gone, he went back to sleep.

Over the next few days, he learned that Dainty wasn't the only maid assigned exclusively to his suite. There was Dust Cover, a polite if a little timid, white unicorn mare with a grey tail and mane. Next was Feather Duster, a darker brown pegasus mare with a flamboyant magenta mane and tail, who never seemed to touch the ground. She unconsciously hovered around at eye level no matter what she was doing. And finally, the odd one of the bunch, an Earth Pony stallion with an unusual sheen to his otherwise light grey (at least, lighter than his) coat, with a silvery curled mane and tail, aptly named Silver Platter.

Thankfully, they seemed to take their jobs just as seriously as his guard. So, unless the maid currently on call was summoned with a little bell placed on the living room coffee table, they were pretty discrete about being seen when attending to their other duties. Still, he couldn't deny the annoying undercurrent at the back of his mind that a pony could just sneak into his room at any moment, for whatever reason.

At least in the infirmary, the nurses politely knocked before coming in.

Despite all of that, however, his days went exactly as if he was still in the infirmary. He would spend hours skimming through an increasingly useless number of books, now bolstered with encyclopedias containing information about the world's flora and fauna (plenty of which was bat-shit insane), until he was bored. After that, he would request the pile he read through to be returned and replaced with unread books related to his slowly expanding list of research topics.

Squall was... Neil didn't know if kind was correct, but the Pegasus was eager to drop by after sunset each day. He would usually barge in with an excited grin and a back laden with various adult beverages to share (Neil insisted they were put on Celestia's tab). The drinks themselves were typically fruity, with only a few having an unappealing hint of salt. Still, none of them ever gave him a buzz. It was something to do besides reading, at the very least, as he listened to Squall gossip on and on about the ins and outs of barracks life and the embarrassing shenanigans his fellow stallions got up to.

Each night, he asked about the costumes Squall picked up, but the Pegasus brushed off his question each time to keep it a surprise. The only hint Squall had given him was that they would be dressing up as a matching theme, an answer that did not ease his worries in the slightest.

The only exception to Neil's newly established schedule was a mid-afternoon visit on his second day. He had been reading a biology textbook in his nook, only to be interrupted by a heavy set of taps on the glass next to him. Surprised, he found Rainbow Dash without her skintight flight suit hovering beside his window. When he let her inside, she gave him a note from Twilight (detailing her next available slot for research). She also announced a surprise strength and endurance training session to celebrate his new living arrangement before she was too busy bringing in winter (whatever that meant).

Needless to say, he was even more appreciative of Squall when the stallion dropped by with drinks later that night.

Now, however, Neil was suffering from a quandary he'd never experienced before as a pony. The group discussed plans for Nightmare Night the same day he had moved in. The afternoon shift would trade-off with the Lunar Guards and change out of their uniform in his suite. The morning shift would also show up roughly around the same time. Once everyone was there, they would order a quick dinner, put on their costumes, and leave for Star Light's. It was a simple plan without any possibility of screwing up, or so he thought. 

Any minute now, Bulk and Hearth would finish their shift. And yet, Neil found himself sitting in front of the unlit fireplace, holding an animated botany textbook in his wing. His inability to focus on the words in front of his face was only matched by a severe bout of nerves.

Why, though, was the question? Sure, back in Swift, he had friends and family over at his small apartment before (though not at the same time, thankfully). But this time felt very different, almost like he had to act as the host for the evening. Perhaps it was due to his surroundings. Was the opulence of his new room getting to him? Or, maybe it was the fact that he hardly knew anything about the ponies that made up his guard?

Did he even want to get to know his guards? They weren't his friends, obviously. They were hand, or in this case, hoof chosen by Celestia to watch over him. Whether that be to protect him or relay every hint of information they gleaned from him to her, was not up for debate. Yet, some part of him kept insisting they could be his friends if given a chance. On top of that, if he was stuck working alongside these ponies for one to five years...

Whatever the case, he was really looking forward to getting completely wasted later that night. And he knew that if he screwed things up, the chances of going out were slim to none. An outcome he wanted to avoid at all costs since he desperately needed a night to just relax without thinking.

When the clock he requisitioned from the infirmary chimed, marking the time as six in the evening, Neil set his book down on the coffee table. Even if he could focus his attention, the current section he was staring at, the harmless Worm-Roots of Minos, failed miserably at holding his interest.

With a small sigh, Neil stood up, out of his chair, and went to the front door. However, he only made it halfway before three sturdy, if polite, taps originated from his destination. Bulk, and by proxy Hearth, must have been relieved and were now waiting to be let in. He unconsciously trotted the rest of the way, shaving the time they had to wait by a few seconds before reaching out with a wing and opening the door.

"No use waiting out there, you two. Not sure what you need, but, uh, the shower's there," Neil told Bulk and Hearth as they walked in, pointing a wing towards the bathroom for a moment before shifting it towards the fireplace, "And if you're hungry, tonight's menu is over there. Just ring the bell, and one of the maids should show up... Which you already know, obviously." He finished, mentally berating himself.

"Thanks for allowin' us to change here, Neil," Bulk said, giving a small wave with his wing as he made a beeline for the bathroom.

"Yeah, it's a major time saver for me, Si- Neil," Hearth seconded as she followed Bulk into the room. "Saves me a five-minute flight to Watch HQ and back. And that's not even taking into account asking for an escort to walk back here," She added, following Bulk until he vanished behind the bathroom door.

"You need to ask for an escort?" Neil asked, both surprised and curious as to why, while he closed the door. "Even though you work here?"

"Without our armor, we aren't tied into the wards anymore," She informed him as her horn lit up with an amber-orange aura that quickly surrounded her helmet. With well-practiced ease, she removed her helmet without contacting her horn, allowing her blue mane to fall free, though it didn't remain blue for long. When her curled mane fell into place against her neck, its color had changed to a mix of maroon and burnt orange, whereas the white fur underneath shifted into a deep yellow. "That's probably why Sergeant Calm and Squall aren't here yet."

By the time her helmet settled against her back, Hearth had chosen the door to the left of his bathroom and quickly looked back at Neil. "Do you mind if I use this room to change?"

"Go ahead. It's the office, though, so it's a little cramped." Neil warned, even though he knew there should be more than enough room with only a little rearranging. 

Apparently, that was good enough for her as she slipped into his office. The door closed behind her with an audible click, once more leaving him alone in the living room, wondering what, exactly, he needed to do. Should he ring the bell so that his current guests could order immediately? Or would it be proper to wait for the entire group before ordering?

'Another problem I never thought I'd run into in fucked up pony land, and why the hell am I even fretting about any of this!?' With a loud, equine snort, he turned around and, with an outstretched wing, quickly entered his bedroom. But only for a moment, as he scooped up the cloak Rarity made for him with a wing, and threw it on. After a few minor adjustments, he slipped the loop around the clasp to secure it in place and exited into the living room once more.

Before he could decide what to do next, another recognizable pair of knocks issued from his apartment door, leaving little to his imagination who it was. With a fretful energy, he trotted over to the door, only stopping long enough on the way to pick up the bell from the coffee table and give it a quick ring. 

However, before he even reached the door, it was pushed open by an eager-looking Squall carrying a stiff red and black shopping bag with each wing. "... Won't mind, Bulk and Hearth are already inside. Hey Neil! Ready for a night of loud music, dressed-up mares, and booze?" He asked, looking for the closest surface to put his bags down.

"Mostly the booze, but yes," Neil answered as he watched the red Pegasus prance into his suite. In fact, the display calmed his nerves slightly, almost in a grounding manner, as he watched Squall disregard all the opulence brought about by his newfound title and just act like an excited, if girly, kind of dude.

Calm followed, his horn already flared, and he politely closed the door with his aura before giving Neil a quick nod in greeting. "Sorry, Squall's been waiting impatiently all day for this."

"And who wouldn't be?" Squall countered as he made a beeline toward the fireplace and placed the bags next to the menu. With that done, he promptly sank his butt into the nearest chair. "It's Nightmare Night! Let loose and have some fun for once."

"That Squall I hear yappin' about like an excited farm pup?" Bulk interrupted suddenly as he stepped out of the bathroom, looking refreshed in his natural colors. He also carried a large bundle of golden armor on his back as he exited. 

"Bulk!" Squall immediately waved, gesturing for his fellow pegasus to sit on the couch beside him. "How'd the afternoon shift treat you? Anything exciting happen?"

Bulk returned the wave with a wing and gave Squall a short but cordial answer in return, "Just the norm," Before he looked to Neil, and shifted his body to the side to better show off the bundle of armor, where each piece seemed to be magnetically attached to itself. "Where do you want me to store this?"

At the same time, Neil caught a glint of orange emanating from the office door knob as it opened, revealing Hearth without her armor at all. "You can store it next to mine, Bulk," She offered, already halfway into the living room, before suddenly pausing. "If you don't mind us storing our kit in here, S-Neil?" She asked, her slip-up almost going unnoticed.

"The office or the spare bedroom, whatever works for you two," Neil answered with a shrug as he watched Hearth stand aside to allow Bulk through. With that taken care of, he made his way over to the fireplace. 

With Squall claiming the only chair (which he had personally moved there), that left the two couches, one of which Calm had already claimed. Neil was tempted to claim the other one for half a moment but thought better of it. He wouldn't mind sitting with Bulk, but Hearth was still unknown, and she was partially why they were drinking as a group. So he sat next to Calm, claiming the other half of that couch.

After a quick look to confirm neither stallion seemed to mind, his focus settled on the red and black bags on the coffee table. "So, what's in the bags?"

"Our costumes," Squall supplied with a good-natured grin. "Yours and mine are in one bag, and Calm's is in the other."

"So I can finally see what you picked up?" Neil asked, his curiosity sparked as he reached out with a wing to the nearest bag.

Although Calm was between them, that didn't stop Squall from suddenly extending his wing to block him, "Nope!" The smaller Pegasus didn't have the reach to block his attempt at the bags, but Neil stopped and listened to Squall's reasoning anyway. "Not until after we eat."

"Really?" Neil asked, allowing a hint of his irritation to slip through. However, if Squall wanted to keep teasing until the end? An extra hour made little difference overall. Still, he couldn't help but turn to Calm and ask, "Do you know what they are?"

"I don't have the slightest idea beyond hearing something metallic." The elder brother informed him with a mild shrug. "Squall's the one who enjoys shopping for outfits, not me, and he tends to do well enough... most years."

Before he could push the subject any further, Hearth exited the office. She took quick stock of the room, noting everyone already sitting beside the fireplace, and approached the unclaimed couch. Bulk followed right behind her the entire way, no longer burdened with his bundle of armor, and claimed the only remaining spot next to her.

It might have been that they were now off duty and out of their armor, but Neil couldn't help but notice that Hearth looked particularly pleased with the situation. 

Once everyone had settled into their seats, Squall opened up with a question for everyone, "So, what're you all looking forward to the most?"

Each of them answered in turn, whether they revolved around relaxing, dancing, drinking, mares, or a mix. But, as the conversation expanded to other subjects, Neil chose to sit back and listen. He learned a few interesting things in that regard, like the fact that Calm and Squall were technically half-brothers. 

They both came from the same herd, meaning they shared the same Sire, but their Dams were different- except all four mares in the herd were still their mother. A little confusing and strange, but he already knew that aspect of Equestrian society was messed up.

To add to the confusion, Squall also mentioned he had five sisters, four older and one younger. Neil struggled to comprehend how one could live in such a chaotic-sounding household.

Compared to that, Hearth was on the opposite side of the coin when she shared her upbringing. She had three mothers total in her parents' herd. But, for a reason, she never found out, only her Dam chose to have foals. So, she only had a younger sister growing up. This, in turn, led into the story of how she earned her emblem, a cozy-looking brick fireplace, by taking care of her younger sister, which spawned the next topic of discussion.

Bulk was quick to speak up after her, sharing how he grew up on an orange farm that sounded very similar to Sweet Apple Acres. He quickly found a role he enjoyed, cataloging the supplies needed and filling out orders for their business partners. Yet, he always felt something was missing. 

However, before Bulk could describe precisely what that was, Silver Platter appeared. The conversation was put on hold as the menu quickly passed from pony to pony, and Silver took down their orders. Given it was the Equestrian version of Halloween, Neil treated himself to a large order of spinach ravioli smothered in a creamy pumpkin parmesan cheese sauce.

As soon as the ordering was done, Silver gave a professional bow and excused himself, slipping out of the suite as quickly as he appeared.

Squall then asked Bulk to continue, and it was as if they were never interrupted in the first place. Ultimately, it took a misplaced shipping crate full of armor and spears to show up at the farm. Bulk returned to the train station with the crate and helped them trace the correct route, only for his mark to finally appear. From that point on, he joined the guard, and the rest was history.

Of course, when it came to Neil's turn, he had it easy. He remembered telling everyone at the bar that emblems weren't a thing where he came from. But, to bring Hearth up to speed, he reiterated. No magic, as ponies called it, meant no marks. As far as he was concerned, he didn't want or need one, and having one would be another way to mark him as different when he made his way home.

It wasn't long after that when dinner was delivered by not only Silver, pushing an extra-large cart in front of him but Dainty, who was also pushing two medium-sized carts in front of her with her aura. Unfortunately, no matter how big the coffee table was, it wasn't large enough to seat everyone. So, as Silver and Dainty pushed into the dining room, Neil reluctantly stood up and led his guest into the sterile-looking white room.

The dinner itself was, thankfully, a short affair. The food was excellent, as always, but it was clear Neil wasn't the only one who was antsy to get dressed up and go. Everyone was eating fast enough that Neil could imagine Blueblood grimacing at their lack of decorum. Even Squall, who seemed to delight in prolonging the costume reveal for as long as possible, appeared to be keeping up with the rest. Of course, as the only one to be delivered an Alicorn-sized meal, along with his relative inexperience in using his wings for refined control, he was still the last to finish.

The following clean-up went quickly and efficiently as they stacked their dirty dishes onto the carts, allowing some to reclaim their seats in the living room with a few exceptions. Hearth went directly to the office instead, opting to change into her costume immediately. The same went for Bulk, though he veered off towards the bathroom. 

Squall, however, bounced up next to the coffee table. With an excited exuberance that was more childlike than adult-like, the Pegasus picked up one of the bags and held it out to his brother. "This one's for you. Care to guess what it is?"

At first, Calm simply tilted his head as he focused on the bag. Only for his horn to light up with its ghostly aura a second later. "Something more durable than last year's costume?" He asked, as he took the bag from his brother and opened it up a few inches away from his face.

"Well, yeah," Squall conceded, as they all watched Calm remove... a smaller brown paper bag stapled shut at the top by a slim, if colorful, piece of folded cardboard. The side facing Neil didn't reveal what the costume was. Still, it had a smiling pumpkin taking up one side with 'Designed to fit a medium stallion's build!' printed clearly in a speech bubble next to it. 

"You were supposed to guess what it was first!" Squall pouted as he set aside the now-empty shopping bag.

"A bard?" Calm asked teasingly as he flipped open the cardboard top. The costume quickly hovered out of the bag in two separate parts. The first and smaller of the two was a floppy, if slightly flat-looking cap. It had a repeating pattern of white and orange stripes that began at the center of the floppy part and stretched out until it was sewn into a firm, white rim. There was also a large white feather sewn into the side.

The rest of the costume was a single audacious-looking garment in the rough, if shrunken, and shriveled shape of a pony. In a way, it reminded Neil of Rainbow's flight suit. However, where hers was sleek and uniform, the costume held in Calm's aura was a mish-mash of orange, white, and sky-blue fabrics, with unusual stitching that made the blue fabric parts poof out in a baggy-looking manner.

After a minute of shifting the costume around, looking at it from different angles, and stretching the scrunched-up orange and white fabric, Calm gave a firm nod and a smile. "Yeah, I can work with this," He said, giving his approval before he gestured towards Bulk and Hearth. "With those two rooms taken, is there anywhere else I could change?"

"You can use the spare bedroom if you want," Neil offered, pointing a wing towards the offered room.

"Thanks," Calm said as he stood up. His costume trailed behind him as he crossed the living room and claimed the spare bedroom as his own. 

That left him and Squall as the only people remaining in the living room.

With an excited grin, Squall used his free wing to dig around in the second bag. Once he found what he was looking for, he pulled out another package similar to Calm's but twice as large. And, unlike Calm's, Neil, clearly, heard the distinct chink of lightweight metal brushing against metal as Squall held the package out to him. 

Neil took the package in his wings, curious and worried, expecting it to have a certain amount of heft. Instead, the package was unusually light given its size as he brought it closer and flipped the cardboard label over. The first thing that caught his eye was the cropped shoulder-and-up image depicting  Luna of all ponies. She was shown wearing a scant amount of armor, just a set of pauldrons, an exaggerated chest piece, and an open-face helmet while striking at an unseen target with an elaborately bejeweled spear made of silver. 

On closer inspection, however, he felt more confused than anything else. He quickly realized it wasn't Luna, but an Alicorn stallion that looked strikingly similar. In an attempt to look for an answer, he glanced down at the two lines written at the bottom of the label.

'On behalf of the moon, will you right your wrongs and triumph over evil as Lunar Spear?' The larger of the two lines asked in extravagant, flowing script that gave away the name of the character on the label. Underneath that, in smaller plain text, it also stated, 'Included wings and horn are guaranteed to magically match the color of your coat! Spear sold separately.'

Flipping the label over, he saw the same smiling pumpkin on the back with a similar line written next to it. 'Designed to fit any stallion's build!'

It wasn't much to go off of as Neil looked back at Squall. "Lunar Spear?"

"Yep!" Squall answered with glee as he pulled out and proudly displayed another package of equal size. "And his older brother, Solar Sword! Both come from one of the longest-running graphic novels ever written, Solar Eclipse. Lunar Spear was only introduced a year ago, but he's still become one of Inky Black's most popular characters. It's my favorite series."

As Squall gushed over both characters, Neil took the opportunity to look over the white Alicorn depicted on Squall's package. There were similarities to Celestia, but the mane colors differed significantly, unlike the Luna clone on his costume package. Instead of the flowing aurora, Solar's gravity-defying mane was a mixture of red, orange, and yellow, imitating a fire. He was also drawn in a defensive posture, deflecting a sickly-looking green laser with his golden sword.

Overall, Neil had some mixed feelings about Squall's costume choice. At the very least, he felt more than a little repugnant at the thought of going out dressed as a Luna knock-off and representing her brand in any way. "Squall, is there a specific reason why you picked these costumes out?"

"A few, actually. First, I noticed you use your wings for everything. So, I needed to find a costume that wouldn't cover up or hinder your wings. Second, if you dress up as Lunar Spear, then ponies should hopefully assume your injured horn is part of the costume." Squall explained as he counted each reason on his wing.

After the second, however, there was a slight pause before Squall gave a third reason with a hint of embarrassment. "And, well, this is the first opportunity I had to dress up with a friend as my favorite character."

Neil couldn't deny the logic behind Squall's first two arguments, but there were also a few glaring problems with the costume. The lack of armor, or any proper clothing in general, is the worst reason. There was also something off about Squall's last reason. Something else, besides the fact that Squall somehow considered him a friend so quickly. "It sounded like you and Calm go out all the time. Shouldn't he be the one doing the themed costumes with you?"

"Most of the time, yeah, we do," Squall admitted quickly, "But Calm thinks the Solar Eclipse series is stupid. There's no way in Tartarus he'd dress up with me like this, which is why I was hoping..."

As Squall trailed off, his general demeanor changed ever so slightly. His posture shifted, making him look even smaller than he normally was. At the same time, his eyes widened, and his grin quickly changed to a despondent pout as he brought the package underneath his chin, as if he was begging like a...

And then it clicked. 'Squall's really trying to guilt me into this with puppy dog eyes?' He thought, unable to deny the Pegasus looked even more pathetically adorable than the average pony normally would. However, the blatant manipulation had the opposite effect on him.

"You don't need the pity act Squall," Neil groused, taking another look at the label of his costume. "Just, weren't there any other costumes that fit the bill? Why did it have to be princess knock-offs?"

"Princess knock-offs?" Squall asked, confused for the moment as his act slipped away. Only for his grin to come back as he connected the obvious dots. "Oh yeah, you haven't read Solar Eclipse. I can see how you'd think that about Princess Luna and Lunar Spear. But, to answer your question, Ripple also had a few villain costumes available. They're all mares, though, so you would have been fully exposed down below."

"Besides," Squall added, attacking Neil's princess problem from another angle, "Without his iconic weapon, it's just stallion armor, right? If you want, we could switch. I just thought you would look better in silver compared to gold."

"There's no need for that," Neil relented as he stood up and repositioned the costume underneath his wing. If these were the only options available, then it wasn't really Squall's fault. "I'll try it on. If you want, the dining room is available now. Or, you could wait for Bulk or Hearth to finish?" 

"I'll wait for one of the rooms to free up," Squall offered as he opened the bag holding his costume. "Don't want that cute Pegasus maid flying in on me half-dressed now, do we?"

"I could only imagine her terrified screams if that ever happened," Neil countered in a half-sarcastic, half-joking tone as he crossed the room towards the main bedroom. Before Squall could respond, he was already passing through the door as he attempted to loosen his cloak clasp with a single wing. By the time he managed to work the loop of the button, the door faintly clicked behind him. 

Now that he was alone, he released a haggard sigh as he placed the package on his bed. His cloak soon followed as he removed it with both wings and threw it. The garment landed at the end of the bed, partially hanging over the edge. Given the time the others already had to change, it was best to get this over with as soon as possible. He picked up his costume with one wing and tore the cardboard label off with the other.

The first thing he saw as he opened the bag was a pair of folded white wings attached to a flimsy-looking fabric harness, which conveniently covered everything else. Given his pair of somewhat functional wings, they were not needed. So, without further ado, he dumped the bag's contents onto the bedspread beside his cloak.

Honestly, he had been expecting more from Squall's assurances. The large wing harness, which he tossed aside, took up at least half the package folded as it was. There was a spindly-looking fake white horn about an inch or two longer than his own, which he also placed in the useless pile on top of the wings. 

After that, only five pieces of armor remained to complete the look. The first and most eye-catching was the decorative collar-breastplate thing he'd seen both Luna and Celestia wear. This one was made with half the thickness, at most, but stretched out to cover an average stallion's entire front. It was still slightly small for him, but usable. However, as he slipped it on, the light, tinny-sounding metal wouldn't be affording him any real protection.

The shoulder guards were the next to go on, though they were a little finicky to deal with. Each had a loop of stretchable fabric attached to the underside, along with a long strip of the same material attaching the two. A pretty basic set-up overall as he placed the strap on his back, allowing a pauldron to dangle on each shoulder. Next, he slipped his front legs into their respective loops and pulled them back up to cover his shoulders. The overall fit was snug against his fur, but a few quick stretches showed there was still some give left in the backstrap. 

Next was the flattened helmet, the only piece of armor that seemed to be broken, or so Neil thought at first. Upon closer inspection, the helmet appeared to have some actual craftsmanship worked into the design. Inside, there were a fair number of small, intricate-looking hinges that allowed the metal plates of the helmet to collapse for storage. A light pull from his wings popped the helmet back into shape with a satisfying little clink. 

It took considerable force on both sides to pop the hinges loose and collapse the helmet again. Reforming the helmet a second time was just as easy, after which he placed it on his head. His horn slipped through without a problem, even with all the plaster and the suppressor ring near the base. The open face didn't impair his vision at all, either. Unfortunately, it wasn't a perfect fit. Despite the large ear holes, he felt the metal edges uncomfortably digging into his ears, but he could deal with that for a night. 

All that was left was one remaining piece not shown on the label, and for good reason. At first glance, a more innocent person might mistake it for underbelly armor with a unique design. On the other hand, Neil could only describe it as a decorative codpiece at its best. Just from looks alone, the part that acted as a cup (vaguely sculpted to look like a large pair of balls) more than lived up to its design with ample space and plush cushioning inside. The four-foot half-pipe (with two separate straps designed to wrap around his body and hold it in place) extended off the codpiece to cover his sheath and underbelly, however...

Glancing at the full body mirror in the corner, it looked like he was sporting a massive fucking silver erection that pressed against almost the full length of his belly. He actually felt dirty wearing it, like he was some sort of male stripper in a knight costume, compared to just free-balling it. He also couldn't ignore the feeling of soft, plush velvet caressing and cradling one of the most sensitive parts of his anatomy.

'This has to be some sort of a fucked up gag,' Neil thought, remembering all the assurances Squall gave him about his costume and how it would stick to his Canadian sensibilities. 'Of course, Squall would think it's funny to try and cover up. He grew up in a culture where flashing your balls was second nature!' That was the only logical explanation, unless... Squall really thought costume armor designed to exaggerate the size of his balls and dick counted as covering up?

Unbidden, the image of Squall decked in armor with the same codpiece, at the same size, came to mind. If true, the domed tip would be pushing past the Pegasus' front legs. 

As he shook that image out of his mind, another crazy thought came to him. What if it was designed this way to hide an actual erection? Was that a problem stallions encountered often? He hadn't seen anything like that on the streets, but he hoped to Hell not!.. Then again, a club full of half-drunk mares like Nurse Heart? All rubbing against you, trying their best to rile you up? That sounded a little like Hell now that he thought about it- as a pony, at least. If he was normal and surrounded by hot women? That would have been a great night out.

Shaking away his thoughts, Neil reached for one final, unintended piece to add to his costume. His cloak wasn't designed to go with armor, but it would give him peace of mind when it came to being exposed. Unfortunately, when he tried to put it on, he felt like an absolute idiot when the loop couldn't stretch over the breastplate and catch the button. In the end, he had to remove the helmet and then the breastplate, which finally allowed him to fasten his cloak with some minor adjustments around the shoulder guards.

Once he put the breastplate and the helmet back on, he gave himself one last, slow three-sixty look in the mirror. He could see more than a hint of silver underneath his tail at a certain angle. Still, despite the feelings it stirred, both mental and physical, that was arguably better in his mind than allowing anyone to see him au naturale. With his mind made up, knowing he was as ready as he ever would be and quite desperate for a drink, he made his way to the door. Without further ado, he reached out with a wing to grasp the doorknob, twisted it, and pushed it open. 

Immediately, as if a set of speakers were unmuted, Calm's voice cut into the silence. "-ease tell me you didn't give Neil a matching costume." He said, sounding exasperated before he stopped talking.

Poking his head into the living room, Neil found himself to be the center of attention. Everyone was sitting around the fireplace and looking his way, with Calm and Bulk looking worried about something, and Hearth looked slightly confused. The only exception was Squall, who was standing. He also noticed everyone else had already finished changing into their costumes.

Calm looked to be the only pony fully covered from head to... toe? back-hoof? Either way, Neil had been correct with his original assumption. The striped white and orange fabric clung to his entire body like Rainbow's skintight flight suit. The only exception was the poofy blue fabrics strategically placed at each of Calm's significant joints. That wasn't the only thing that was blue about his costume, however. Strangely, the white feather in his cap had shifted to match Calm's fur as well.

Hearth's costume offered the next most coverage. She dressed up as the pony equivalent of a cowboy, judging by her black and red cowboy hat. To complement the look, she also wore a thick, durable-looking red denim vest with decorative black stitching and a black bandana around her neck. And, despite the Equestrian culture's crusade against pants, Neil was surprised to see a pair of (ass-less) faux-leather chaps covering her back legs, which had a cut-out large enough to reveal the emblem on her flank. To complete the look, she was wearing a set of fancy black and red cowboy boots, one for each hoof.   

Despite his large size, Bulk's costume choice leaned towards the skimpier side. At first glance, Neil thought he made a sensible choice dressing up as a construction worker. He was wearing a white construction helmet with a grey lightning bolt stenciled on it and a pair of safety glasses. The thin, limp-looking, unbuttoned flannel tan vest was an odd choice, but it worked well enough since it exposed his muscular chest. Unfortunately, Bulk was also facing him directly, making Neil see something he never wanted to see on a guy, ever. 

Instead of a pony equivalent of a tool belt, Bulk was wearing what he could only describe as a denim jean-string (with a complimentary ball pouch). If he had been generous, they could have been classified as jean short shorts... but with what little they covered, that would have been a lie.

Needless to say, Neil quickly averted his eyes, only to land on the final member of the group.

Squall blinked once, then twice, which caused his long and spindly red horn to wobble and tap against the hornhole cut into his helmet. However, that didn't stop the giant grin from slowly spreading over his muzzle. "See, I told you he wouldn't mind Calm!" He gloated slightly as he pointed a hoof in Neil's direction.

Lifting his leg like that gave Neil more than enough opportunity to see they were wearing the same costume (except Squall's armor was gold tinted), including the extended codpiece. Strangely, despite the apparent difference in body length, both codpieces stopped short of their front legs by about two inches. 

"I wouldn't mind what?" Neil asked, averting his eyes from Squall and focusing on Calm as he stepped into the room. Even so, he didn't miss the Pegasus' grin faltering a little as he stepped out in his fully cloaked costume.

"Dressing up as a character out of a porn comic?" Calm questioned, looking over his costume.

Whether Calm was questioning his choice to wear the costume in the first place, or the addition of his cloak to cover the lewder aspects of it, Neil wasn't exactly sure. But, before he could say anything, Squall spoke up.

"How many times do I have to tell you it isn't a porn comic!" The Pegasus protested, with a look of betrayal as he poked his brother in the shoulder. "It's a best-selling graphic novel."

"Okay, it's a graphic novel," Calm conceded with an eye roll and a nonchalant shrug as if they had these types of arguments all the time. "It's just a coincidence that the heroes rut the villains into submission more often than not."

"Really?" Squall countered immediately, "And how would you know that since you never read them?"

Calm gave a pointed look at all the other ponies in the room before saying anything. "I don't think you want me to answer that with present company."

"Oh no," Squall shook his head and pressed his hoof into Calm's shoulder to pressure his brother into answering. "You started this, and I'm going to finish it. Do you read my graphic novels in secret?"

Calm slowly shook his head as his horn ignited. It formed an aura around Squall's hoof, which he removed from his shoulder, making it look like Squall was pointing at Neil again. Strangely, his aura didn't dissipate after that, instead keeping his brother's hoof firmly in the air as he answered.

"Fine, but just remember you asked for it. I know because we share an apartment with fairly thin walls. I can hear well enough when you reach the epic battles at the finale," Calm explained, as Squall's face turned pale, at first, from the obvious implications, only to shift to a slightly deeper red compared to normal. "Why do you think I'm always out running errands by the time you finish?"

Squall wasn't the only pony, either. Hearth was doing her best impression of a Pikachu dressed up as a cowboy outlaw, with how red her cheeks had become. She was focused solely on the empty fireplace as if locked into an epic, life-or-death staring contest.

Bulk also had a stern glint in his eye as he spoke up before things could escalate further. "Now hold on, both'a you. We've all seen and heard worse in the barracks, right Calm? So drop it," He rebuked, looking pointedly at Squall's held hoof. Getting the point across, Calm immediately released his hold, allowing Squall to stand on all fours. 

Bulk allowed a few seconds of silence to pass as he watched both Calm and Squall, just to make sure things remained calm before he continued, "We're all gussied up and ready to go now, so why don' we go?"

"I'll second that," Hearth quickly followed up, "We could all use a few drinks to cool off, then get to know each other... without the embarrassing details."

Calm was quick to nod in agreement. 

Squall took a few moments to straighten out his golden collar and shoulder pauldrons to calm down before giving Bulk a reluctant nod. As the other ponies stood up from their seats, however, the Pegasus opted to trot over to Neil.

"Before we go, I just want to know if I picked the wrong costume. For next time, y'know?" He asked, hopefully, though Neil saw his ears were wilting noticeably. "If there is a next time..."

"There might be a next time. It all depends on how long it takes to find a way home." Neil confirmed, cementing that thought in both of their heads. "No offense, but so far, everything I've seen and dealt with is bat-shit crazy. If it wasn't for the alcohol, I'd lose my mind."

He idly noted two separate twitches from Hearth and Squall while Bulk seemed to be used to his foul language. But, before he could be rebuked, he answered Squall's original question. "The costume on the other ha- hoof..." He paused, thinking how best to put his words. He could have been blunt, but after Calm's revelation, it would have felt like kicking a depressed dog... after it was scolded for humping a couch pillow. 

"I would have chosen something with a little more coverage. Something similar to..." He was about to gesture towards Calm, but now that the Unicorn was standing upright and walking towards the door, Neil noticed two disturbing things about the bard costume he hadn't before. First, the tail-hole was aligned so that Calm's tail was flagged almost vertically. And secondly, unlike Rainbow's skintight flight suit, which was designed to slim her figure for aerodynamics, Calm's did the exact opposite. The fabric seemed to grip and spread his butt cheeks, allowing the seam to press into and paint a picture that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.  

"... None of the costumes in this room," He admitted, quickly diverting his eyes up toward the ceiling.

With nothing else to say, Neil quickly joined the three closest to the door, with Squall following beside him. Thankfully, once he was close enough, he could shift his focus to Bulk's helmet or Hearth's cowboy hat without having to worry about seeing anything unsightly as they left.

As much as he was craving a drink, Neil was starting to have second thoughts about a dance club full of ponies wearing costumes that were even more slutty.


~~~


It was a strange twist of fate that the path Squall directed their little group along also passed through an area of the city Neil knew very well. At first, he initially thought the dance club they were heading to would be situated somewhere on the upper shelf, similar to the Brass Bells. Instead, Squall had taken them south to the nearest stairwell to the business shelf. The very same shelf that Neil haunted for weeks. They weren't close to where he was captured, which was closer to the southern ledge. But Squall took them on a quick stroll through a busy Restaurant Row.

Seeing the ordinarily bland, if busy in the daytime, street transformed into a Halloween theme park was shocking. Not only that, but the street was also bustling with activity despite the moon rising an hour ago. The sidewalks were lined with themed stalls, each with unique smelling foods and piles of candy or games of chance with cute and terrifying toys available to win. Ponies of all shapes and sizes were trotting about or waiting in line at one of the stalls, primarily in large groups of three to four adults and at least that many children. And, to no one's surprise, most of them were dressed up in costumes.

What was surprising to Neil, at least, was the fact he recognized quite a few staple costumes. From clowns to witches and various animals, both real and mythical (though real enough in Equestria). Some were minimalist, like the green mare he saw wearing only a white flower collar with large petals surrounding her head. On the other hand, some were quite complex, like the two-headed chimera costume worn by two foals waiting to bob for apples.

As they walked along the street and swerved around the various groups, Neil momentarily worried that the group's costume preference might draw the ire of some of the parents. But, beyond a few curious looks directed at the pair of lunar guards escorting their group, there was nothing of the sort. He was quick to spot quite a few costumes that were even worse than anything they were wearing, in his humble opinion. One of the mares he saw opted to dress in lacy, vampire-themed lingerie and little else. And, even that was mild compared to the Frankenstein-themed stallion and his glowing, electric green ball-sack. The sooner he could drink away that image, the better off he would be.

At the very least, the only ponies wearing slutty costumes were adults. He counted that as a small blessing.

After they passed through Restaurant Row, Squall turned left down a street that eventually led them toward the Skyport. As far as Neil was concerned, that was the edge of his territory. He never felt the need to travel beyond the port, mainly due to the increased security at all times of the day. The occasional drunk he spotted in the middle of the night, originating from beyond the port, also added to his conviction to leave the area alone.

Squall, ignorant to all of that, simply walked by the Skyport as if nothing was wrong. He even waved to a pair of steel-clad, grey-furred night guards, who continued their patrol without waving back. Silent Wing and Night Wish, his two lunar guard escorts for the night, also ignored the two other night guards.

Now that Neil thought about it, were the night shift for the city watch detachment classified as lunar guards? Or were they still part of the solar guard? Despite the dull material, their armor design mirrored their daytime counterparts.

Before he could delve too deep into that train of thought, he was distracted by something he had never experienced. A faint, if consistent, pulse in the air made his ears stand on end and his fur bristle. However, whether it was a sound he could barely pick up or a steady pressure being blasted into the air for some unknown reason, he couldn't tell. He only knew that it was pretty fast, whatever it was. 

As they passed another city block, not only did he feel the increase in pressure as the power behind the pulses pushed past his fur and caused his body to vibrate, but he also picked up the deep, rumbling tremors of bass. If it had only been a little louder, Neil was sure the nearby windows of the buildings they were passing would have rattled in time with the beat.

"We're almost there," Squall told the group as they turned one last corner, though he was looking at Neil when he called out over the bass filling the air. And by almost there, it was clear he meant within view as they transitioned from closed buildings made of brick and stone towards a cluster of five, two-story tall, warehouse-like buildings. 

Four of the five warehouses Neil could see were dreary-looking, square wooden shells standing forlornly in the darkness, their almost flat roof overhangs enhancing the shadows. The final building, however, drew in his eyes due to its unique and flashy look. Underneath the purple neon light of a sign that read Star Light's Starbright, he could see clouds of various shapes and shades of purple painted over a deep, almost black shade of blue with metallic flecks reflecting the sign's light.

Below that was a set of large, neon purple double doors, with welcome written across them in silver unified script. To finish the look, standing off to the right side of the doors was a single Unicorn wearing a set of shades and a suit, looking quite bored. As they moved closer, he noticed that the pony was a mare with a fancy-looking lock as an emblem on her flank.

Squall broke from the group and trotted ahead to engage with the bouncer. Thanks to the barely contained music, Neil couldn't hear what was being said. Still, as they approached, the bouncer's horn emitted a faint golden light that was almost overpowered by the sign above her. The door was surrounded by a similar light as it was pushed inward, and the bouncer gestured for them to go in. 

Following the group (minus his two lunar guards who broke off to flank the door), Neil found himself in a medium-sized waiting room drowning in reddish-pink light, with plush-looking purple benches on either side. On the opposite side from the doors they had just walked through, there was another matching set, but this time, they had enjoy your night written on them in the same silvery script. Strangely, despite being inside the building, the volume of the music barely increased at all. 

The why was answered soon enough when the doors they had just passed through closed behind them. That was apparently the trigger for the second set of doors to slide open on their own, disappearing into the walls as they allowed everything from the raucous cheers and hoof-stomps of the crowd to the music's full volume to assault his eardrums. 

Thankfully, they didn't get the total bass onslaught since the song was winding down. High-pitched synthetic sounds carried the majority of the tune, with touches of piano interspersed here and there as they walked into the club. 

Contrary to the outside, the club's interior could only be described as sleek and curvy. The booths set against the wall, the tables set next to the swerving dance floor, the bar, and even the lit-up shelves that displayed all the bottles of alcohol, Neil wasn't able to spot a single sharp edge (unless you counted the out of place looking metallic DJ equipment). Everything was curved, rounded, and circular in a wavy fashion. It was as if someone overlaid what they thought was a galaxy on top of a large, round pool and made that into a club. Even the ceiling added to the effect, having been painted pitch black and dotted with small, randomly placed lights of various colors that acted like stars.

As Neil looked around and took in the sights, Squall addressed everyone loud enough to be heard above the music. "I'm going to stop by the bar and come back with some menus. Why don't you all go find a booth to sit in?"

As he was speaking, the bass undertones of the song were slowly building back up, hyping up all the ponies on the dance floor, and plenty who weren't from the sounds of it. Being the tallest of the group, Neil quickly scanned all of the nearby booths he could see from the entrance. Most were taken, but he was able to spot two that were currently unused. 

Strangely, both were flanking a booth taken up by another pair of red and blue ponies. Unlike the Brass Bells with Calm and Squall, this time they were both Pegasi judging by their obvious wing gestures. Neil pointed them out to the group anyway. "There's two free booths over there," He half shouted above the music, pointing a hoof in the free booth's general direction.

Bulk and Hearth looked in the direction he was pointing, and upon spotting the booths in question, Bulk gave a firm nod. On the other hand, Calm watched his brother as Squall made his way over to the bar. Still, he followed the group as Bulk took the lead and guided them to the closer of the two booths.

One by one, they sat down as the speed and build-up of the song reached its apex. First to sit was Bulk as he slid to the centre, shortly followed by Hearth, who stayed reasonably close to him. Next was Calm, who slid up next to Hearth, leaving just enough room for one more pony on that side. Neil chose the other side as he slid into the booth. And as he did so, he swore he heard an oddly familiar voice mixed into the song:


~
No chit-chat. Time is candy!
~


Looking over to the DJ booth, he could tell the grey pegasus stallion, whose mane was split evenly between white on his left and black on his right, was having the time of his life. He was shredding three separate disks, two with his hooves and a third with his wing, to the frantic beat he was playing to the crowd. Neil had no idea whether that was the DJ's natural colors or if he dyed himself to match a specific character or costume. But the music was interesting, to say the least. 

"So, Neil, what do you think of Star Light's so far?" Calm asked, raising his voice enough to be heard over the music.

He didn't have much of an opinion one way or another yet, but he answered all the same. "It looks nice, at least. But I'll know better when I'm buzzed. What about you two?" He added, looking to Bulk and Hearth.

"I prefer the Brass Bells, myself," Bulk offered with a nonchalant shrug. "It's quieter, makin' it easier to talk."

"I'm not a stallion, so my regular waterhole is the Overflowing Flagon," Hearth informed the group after Bulk finished.

Calm apparently, knew something about the bar she mentioned because he quickly followed up with a question, "Isn't that, basically, the unofficial City Watch HQ?"

"Buck yeah, it is," Hearth proclaimed, sounding quite proud about her regular establishment. However, there was a hint of teasing accusation in her voice as well. "Us regulars don't qualify for a private upper-class bar like the Brass Bells you stallions have."

As they were talking, Neil also watched as Squall broke away from the bar. However, he wasn't alone as a pink-colored Pegasus mare, wearing nothing but a witch hat, a set of spiderweb stockings on each leg, and what appeared to be the pony version of a corset (that puffed up the fur of her chest), followed him from the bar.

"What's this about the Brass Bells?" Squall asked as he approached the booth, beating his brother to the punch.

Bulk quickly filled Squall in as the Pegasus slid in beside his brother, making himself cozy against his sibling. "Hearth was just sayin' how the Bells is an upper-class bar for us elites livin' in the castle."

That earned a laugh from Squall, who quickly corrected her opinion. "Upper-class? You're thinking of one of those chateaus where the nobility sits around all day, acting all high and mighty as they sip on grape juice."

At the same time, the Pegasus mare that followed him waited patiently at the side of the booth. Her one wing shifted back and forth until he saw a set of large, thick, almost cardboard-like menus poke out from under her wing. Once Squall finished talking, she cleared her throat loudly to get the entire table's attention. 

"Good evening, and a happy Nightmare Night to all of you!" She greeted in a loud but bubbly voice. "My name is Peach Fizz, and I'm one of the roaming servers tonight. Just wave me or one of our other adorable witches down, and we'll deliver your special brews to you in the blink of an eye." 

As she went through her rehearsed speech, though she sold it very well, her wing holding the menus extended and placed them all on the table in a single pile. "Let's see, we have four gallant Gentlestallions," Peach stated as she began handing out the menus. 

The first was given to Squall, who eagerly grabbed it with a wing and started looking it over. She worked her way around the table from there. However, after handing out the first three with colorful and fruity drinks showcased on the cover page, the fourth revealed more mundane, traditional-looking drinks, which gave Peach Fizz a reason to pause.

"And a rowdy-looking Cowmare tonight," She finished, sounding slightly confused as she split the last two identical-looking menus. "Pardon me, I seem to have miscounted my menus by one. I'm short a stallion's."

"I'll take that one," Neil called out before the waitress returned to the bar to switch it out for a stallion's menu.

She glanced at the menu, then up at him, giving him an odd look before sliding the menu over. "If you're sure, Your Majesty," She teased before digging out a small pad and a pencil. "Anyone ready to order yet?"

Calm already had his mind made up as he asked for a lime saltini, and the others soon followed as Neil perused the menu. Despite the amount of bottles displayed at the bar, the mare's menu was only half as thick as the other one. Still, there was enough choice to make things interesting, even if he didn't recognize a single drink on the menu. Most of them had fanciful names like moon's desire, radiant flare, or lover's embrace.

He didn't feel any sort of pull to a specific drink one way or another. So, after Hearth ordered a cloudy day, he turned her way. "You probably know more about these drinks than I do. What's the strongest drink you've had?"

"That would be a heat quencher for sure," She told him offhandedly, only for her eyes to widen at the admission before she quickly backtracked. "But, that's only offered during certain times of the year... The strongest drink on the menu?" She asked, more to herself as her aura quickly brought her menu back up to hide her embarrassment. What, exactly, she was embarrassed about, Neil had no idea.

"I'd say the wrench in the gears," She offered after a few moments of frantic searching, though she had an odd look to her as she lowered the menu. "But, it isn't the most pleasant thing. Are you sure?"

"If it hits as hard as it sounds, then that's exactly what I want," Neil confirmed before picking up his menu and looking it over again with more care. He didn't know how he missed a drink like that the first time, but he was willing to fix that mistake.

"If that's everything?" Peach asked, allowing a few seconds to pass before continuing, "Then I'll be right back with your drinks!"

In the end, he found it hidden on the third and final page, mixed in with ten drinks with boring joke names like Ice to Meet You, Greener Pastures, and Sheep Lover. Despite the boring names, however, a few of them looked to pack a serious punch. If the wrench didn't work out for him, he had a few others he could try ordering, at least.

Squall, however, waited just long enough for the waitress to get out of earshot before succumbing to his laughter. "I can't believe- hehe- you offered Neil a heat drink!"

"To be fair, you can't deny how strong they are," Calm lightly chastised his brother while elbowing the Pegasus under his foreleg. "I'm more surprised that Hearth admitted to having one."

"It's part of being a member of the Watch, and I'll leave it at that." She stated with a hint of finality. "Besides, I'm sure you castle types have your odd traditions?"

"A few," Bulk conceded before switching the subject to her childhood and the town she grew up in, as the current song's synth tones gave way to one final crash of a cymbal before fading away into the background noise of the club.

The rhythmic stomping of hooves became more prominent, but even that receded with the faint beats as a fair number of dancers slowed down in anticipation of the next song. Some of the dancers, who were strutting on two legs, flopped back to all fours while others appeared to dismount from their dance partners. Only when the DJ stood up to his full height did the sounds of the club become replaced with whoops and cheers for the performance.

However, Neil picked up something else a little closer to his booth when that died down. Another conversation coming from the booth directly behind him, which could only be described as the drunk whining of a high-pitched stallion. "-Ut mares are so adorablllllle! I just wanna hug 'em, and snug 'em, and nibble on their cute little eeears!" The stallion wailed before trailing off to a whimper.

Not that the relative silence lasted long before the second stallion sitting behind him spoke up with a slightly deeper, calmer, and smooth-sounding voice. "And that's why we're here, Open. There's plenty of mares out dancing in their adorable Nightmare Night costumes. We just have to find you the right one tonight." 

"But, most mares just wanna suck me off," Open lamented, "Or scratch their itch with a quick buck. Nopony wants to snuggle afterwards... I'm sorry, Crimson. You could be enjoying time with your marefriend, but instead, you're stuck here with me."

"Well, that's where you're wrong. Mid's on patrol tonight, so I only had two options. Either I dragged you out for some fun and drinks, or I could have bought whatever lacklustre candy the shops had on sale after my shift and give that out to the foals. You know I don't do lacklustre, Open."

"Yeah, I know. You're so pretty, and rugged, and cute. It's no wonder why you found a great mare like Midnight. Knowing you, Crimson, you'll find a whole-" Unfortunately, he couldn't catch everything Open said due to the DJ earning a rousing cheer from the dance floor. "...A single mare willing to snuggle with me," He finished, sounding quite sad.

"Honestly Open Air, all you need is a little more confidence, and you'll find yourself a wonderful mare. And yeah, Mid might have asked me to scout another potential member for our herd, but tonight is all about finding a cute mare for you," Crimson encouraged, with a firm slam of his glass against the table. "So let's finish up our drinks, and-"

"Here you all go!" Peach Fizz chirped, drawing Neil's attention back to his own booth. She had a platter with five distinct-looking drinks balanced on her back, which she deftly removed with a single wing before sliding it onto the table. 

"First, we have a saltini for the striking bard," She offered, passing a slightly curved martini glass that was two hooves wide over to Calm. It was nearly filled to the brim with a bright green liquid, leaving only a few millimetres of the glass, inside and out, covered in light pink salt. Once Calm accepted the glass with his aura, she quickly passed out all the other drinks. 

Bulk ordered the same looking drink he had at the Brass Bells, a Manehatten Skyline from what Neil could remember. Squall ordered a big glass that was half ice and half what looked to be pure iced tea, only it was called an amber chill. Hearth's cloudy sky was a cloudy grey liquid that almost matched his coat served in a regular-sized whisky glass, but it also had streaks of a sunny yellow... syrup somehow stuck to the inside of the glass.

As for his drink, it was an even darker grey, almost metallic-looking liquid, served in a goblet nearly twice the size of Hearth's drink. As he took it from Peach with his wing, he noticed not only how slowly the drink swirled in the glass, making him think of a thick, almost viscous oil, but that there were also little silver flecks of something in it that reflected light. In the end, he concluded it wasn't the most appetizing-looking drink on the table as he placed it down on the table in front of him. Still, he ordered it, so he wasn't going to pussy out. 

Before he could build up the nerve to give it a taste, Bulk lightly prodded him with a hoof just underneath his shoulder guard. "It ain't right to eavesdrop on others, you know that, right?"

"Yes, I know," Neil stated unrepentantly as he intentionally rolled his eyes. "Call it a force of habit after spending entire days just sitting and listening to ponies as they walk by. You learn some interesting things."

It looked like Bulk was going to chastise him some more, but Hearth cut in before him. "Wait, how in Celestia's sunny flanks did you manage that? We would have been drowning in unknown Alicorn sightings if you were that close."

Neil's first urge was to dismiss or outright ignore her question. However, he took a moment to actually contemplate it. What did it matter if he told them how he did it? It wasn't like he was planning on returning to the streets of Canterlot if he had to abandon his current position. He had multiple leads he could follow up on, most of which were outside of the city.

"Simple. The Skyport we passed on the way here?" He reminded them, gesturing his head in the vague direction of that particular business, "I took empty crates from there and placed them near alleyway entrances. That way, I could sit and gather info all day and watch places like Donut Joe's to know when it was safe to grab a meal."

As Neil  finished explaining, Calm placed his drink on the table and asked, "What do you mean by grab a meal, exactly?"

"Dumpster diving," He stated bluntly, much to his amusement, as all the ponies turned a little green, except for Calm, who was looking at him intently. "What? Do you really think I would break into a place like Donut Joe's and bring all of you down on my head? I was trying to keep a low profile."

"That would explain why Private Echo found you in a dumpster," Hearth admitted before taking another sip from her drink. "I thought you were just trying to hide from something."

In a sense, that was precisely what he was doing. He was trying to hide from an entire city full of alien ponies, of which he was now a member of. Only, it was with his crates instead of dumpsters. 

Before that thought could infest much deeper into his mind, he grabbed his oily-looking drink with his wing and brought it to eye level. He was here to lose himself and his worries by drinking and trying not to think for a night. And yet, he hadn't taken a single sip. A problem he quickly rectified as he tipped the glass and knocked back at least a quarter of it down his throat.

It was as thick as it looked, and besides the obvious burning of alcohol, the first thing he identified was the taste of something he hadn't experienced since he was a young kid. "Why the hell," He paused, coughing lightly at the metallic taste still clinging to his mouth, "Does it taste like I swallowed a bag of nickels?"


~~~


After Neil managed to down his first drink, Squall quickly informed him amidst giggles that it was mixed with alcohol tailored for more draconic tastes. Upon learning that, he was more inclined to avoid another wrench in the gears in his near future as he hopped around the mare's menu to try other drinks. ice to meet yyou was a silvery blue liquid that burned somewhat like whisky while also being overly sweet and tasting like blue raspberry. After trying Hearth's preferred drink, he found out the syrup on the inside tasted like mango. 

Over the next hour, he even took suggestions from the others at the table. Calm and Squall were curious enough to point out drinks and ask how they tasted once he tried them. After Squall suggested he try a greener pasture, however, he was less inclined to consider the Pegasus' future offers. It was a smoothie that masked any hint of alcohol mixed within while also tasting like a mix of grass and asparagus. Calm suggested a radiant flare, which tasted like an orange creamsicle but had a nice, almost peppery burn afterward.

Was it best practice to mix and match drinks? Definitely, not. But after his sixth uniquely shaped glass, a pleasant, almost hazy buzz started settling into the forefront of his mind. Blurring out and muddling all of his useless, insignificant thoughts that he normally had to actively ignore. It was nice as he relaxed into his seat and allowed the conversation of his guard detail and the music to wash over him. 

There wasn't much need to contribute, either. The rest of the booth were comparing the most embarrassing moments in their respective garrisons they walked in on. And, since he wasn't part of the guard, all he had to do was sit back and try not to imagine the scenes playing out in his head. So far, in his personal opinion, Hearth held the crown after she supposedly walked in on five superior officers having an orgy in the showers. However, the fact that she joined in on the action and brushed that aside as an afterthought made him think she wasn't being entirely honest.

Beyond the conversation, he also found the spotlights and colorful lasers catching his eye. They constantly drew his attention to the dance floor as the beams of light cut across and illuminated the stomping mass of ponies. More often than not, he would pick out and watch ponies that were dancing in an almost human-like manner or focus on the DJ's janky tech that looked like it might have belonged to the '70s. Only for one of the ponies next to him to point out that his drink was almost finished and suggest another one.

Neil was halfway through his thoroughly unpleasant asparagus smoothie when he noticed something unusual by pony standards. A new pony entered the club, alone, and dressed up in a black, loose-fitting, full-body cat costume that reminded him of a onesie. He couldn't tell if they were a male or a female pony judging by size alone. Still, due to a noticeable bump from the oversized cat hood, he could tell they were a Unicorn at the very least. And they acted out their costume as they slinked exaggeratedly across the open floor on oversized fake cat paws.

In the end, the mysterious pony chose an empty table between his booth and the dance floor, only stopping long enough for their vibrant green aura to pull the chair out and curve their articulate costume tail into a proper seating position for a cat.

Over the next half an hour, he didn't exactly keep an eye on them but kept them in his peripheral vision at the very least. Something about the way they acted threw him off. They just sat there, sipping on a tall but skinny cyan drink and watching everything around them. Or how they would occasionally fixate on other ponies, they could see from their vantage point. 

That included his booth, as he caught the pony's reflective, almost cat-like green eyes staring in his direction no less than twice from underneath their oversized hood over the last thirty minutes. 

After ordering a round of refills for the group and a new drink that Bulk had pointed out called a bottom of the barrel for himself, he felt a large enough lull in the conversation to point out the odd pony to the rest of them. "Is it odd for a pony like that to be staring around at everyone else? I think I caught them staring at us at least two times now."

Squall, being one of the ponies waiting for a refill, answered after a snorted chuckle. "It's not odd at all since all of us, excluding Calm, sorry, are smoking hot! Besides, aren't you doing the same thing?"

"He's got you there, Neil," Bulk said, siding with Squall before adding, "But, I saw her prowl on up to that table, same as you. Let it be for now," Were his final words of wisdom before taking a sip from his drink.

Contrary to Bulk's words, however, a waitress stopped at the pony's table with not one but two orange drinks on her tray. Once the pony paid for both and the waitress walked away, they hopped off their seat and locked eyes with his table. Making their intentions very clear, as they strutted over in a very cat-like manner with both drinks held in... her green aura. 

Thanks to a spotlight partially illuminating underneath her hood, he knew from the soft curve of her jaw that it was a mare making a beeline to their table. Bulk and Squall were also watching the show, while Calm and Hearth were, at the very least, acting nonchalant about the whole situation.

Once she was close enough, she drew her hood back, revealing a muzzle that was as black as her costume and a vibrant orange mane that was braided and kept flat against her neck. "Good evening, Gentle-Stallions and Lady," She greeted with a distinctly noble accent before her eyes shifted towards his and Bulk's side of the table. "I couldn't help but notice some of you keeping a watchful eye over me. Instead of simply returning the favor, perhaps I could join you this festive night?"

Neil's first inclination was to say no, but Squall beat him to the punch as he spoke up. "Sure! The more the merrier on Nightmare Night, right? Got a name for us, Cutie?"

At the same time, he also noticed Calm giving his brother a look that asked what he was doing.

"My name is Hallowed Eve, which some of you might know." She answered as both of her drinks, which Neil now recognized as solar flares, settled onto the table right next to him.

In response, he not-so-subtly shifted a few inches closer to Bulk.

"I think so?" Squall confirmed, clearly thinking as to where he heard it. "Pretty sure Ripple mentioned your name."

"The Risque and Reward?" She countered and, upon Squall's nod, gave one of her own. "I would hope so if that is where you went costume shopping. After all, I made three of the costumes worn at this very table."

Before anything else could be said, the back edge of her costume lit up in her green aura. Initially, what Neil thought to be a fully encompassing body suit turned out to be bottomless, revealing the back half of her thighs and rump from the knees up. It just blended in so well with her fur he hadn't noticed. Still, she pulled the fabric past her thighs, revealing not only a matching orange tail tightly tied up in an almost unnoticeable flat bun, but a familiar smiling pumpkin emblazoned on her hip.

Of course, with her tail done up in such a manner, he easily caught more than a hint of pillowy black flesh, its sheen distinct enough compared to her well-groomed fur. He quickly jerked away, only to catch Hallowed Eve's green eyes looking directly at him.

"At least, almost three of the full costumes at the table," She continued, giving no hint of anger or embarrassment that she caught a stallion peeking under her tail. "I find the alterations to your large friend's Lunar Spear costume quite intriguing. I hope you don't mind if I ask what inspired you to change it, Mr.?"

"Neil," He answered, short and to the point, as he tried to ignore the mild heat building up on his cheeks at being caught. After all, it wasn't his fault she all but shoved her ass into his view.

"It's good to meet you, Neil," She offered, pulling her costume back to its original position. Afterward, she hopped into the seat next to him in a very cat-like manner, claiming it as her own. "Also, I would like to thank you for watching over me while I sat alone," She continued, as her aura covered one of the two drinks she brought with her and slid it in front of him. "A reward for gallant behavior." 

'...Am I being flirted with right now?' Was all he could think, considering the mare's bold, up-front actions. It certainly felt like he was being flirted with, though from the opposite side of what he was used to. "Uh, thanks?"

Looking around at the rest of the group, there were some mixed feelings about a random mare joining the table. Calm and Hearth looked the most opposed, though Calm also looked resigned as if this was normal. Squall had a grin of approval firmly placed upon his muzzle. And Bulk was neutral overall, offering a subtle 'it's up to you' type of shrug.

"Sooo, this is Bulk," Neil started, introducing everyone as he tried to fish a proper topic out of the light, alcoholic haze covering his brain, "And that's Squall, and his brother Calm... Why were you sitting on your own and just watching everyone?" 

"Good evening to you all, and that's simple, really," She said with a mirthful chuckle before taking a sip of her drink. "For a single night of the year, I have the chance to see my creations move and weave as if they were alive! Whether it be a spooky coven of witches brewing potions or a gallant knight watching over me. Nightmare Night is simply a delight to behold," She finished as she lost herself in her inner whimsy.

"So true. But, do you want to know what's more fun than sitting?" Squall asked as he wove a wing around his brother's shoulders. "Dancing! Speaking of, c'mon Calm. Let's go find some mares to add to our adventuring party!" He begged, trying to drag his brother out of the booth with him.

Begrudgingly, Calm followed, but only after he used his aura to remove Squall's wing. "He's been getting antsy for the last ten minutes. Anypony else want to come along?"

"Yeah, the more the merrier!" Squall cheered, loud enough that he was heard three booths down, judging by the heads turning to look.

"I'm not nearly drunk enough to attempt any sort of p- dancing," He admitted. However, he managed to catch himself before saying pony at least.

"I'm with Neil on this one," Bulk seconded, "If it ain't square dancing, then it ain't for me."

"Go ahead, Sir Squall, and Calm the Bard," Eve confirmed for the group, clearly enjoying the chance to delve a little too deeply into the role-play aspect of Nightmare Night. "We shall watch your backs from afar as you brave the battlefield of rhythm!"

Neil watched as Squall eagerly bounced and bobbed to the dance floor, his mane and tail flailing in time with the fast-paced music. As for Calm, he lived up to his name the entire way down as he sedately walked next to his brother. Once they reached the edge, both of them waited for a lull in the beat, then vanished from sight as they slipped into the crowd. At least, Squall vanished. He could still see Calm's floppy cap moving in time with the mob.

"Miss Eve," Hearth spoke up, drawing his attention back to the booth. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but what are you expecting to happen tonight?"

"Honestly? Just Eve is fine, and I don't expect anything to happen tonight," She told Hearth. "I just want to have a few drinks, enjoy the festivities, and maybe ask Sir Neil about his costume, if he'll let me?"

"Ask about what, exactly?" He asked, suddenly feeling wary about the proximity of the mare beside him.

"Why, the detail and the precision of the enchantments on your costume, of course! I'm no slouch when it comes to making a costume if I say so myself. But, the enchantments can be very fussy at times," As Eve explained, she brought a hoof up to her forehead just above her horn. Once it was there, she started rubbing the spot with a pout. 

"For example, a mild sticking enchantment on the prosthetic horn is included with your Lunar Spear costume. If I make the enchantment too strong, the customer risks pulling their fur out when they pull it off. Too weak, and it could fall off willy-nilly. I've settled on a relatively weak enchantment, but it flops around like Squall's horn. Your horn and cloak, though, I can feel the craftsmareship of the enchantments just sitting here," She admitted, her eyes flickering from his cloak to his horn as she mentioned them, only to go wide as she added, "-But only if you want to!"

"Maybe later," He quickly compromised, terrified at the prospect of this random mare finding out about his status... As well as the fact that his cloak was laced with enchantments or wards or whatever the hell they were! Perhaps she could identify what those were.

At the same time, he noticed Bulk leaning into Hearth and whispering something in her ear. After which, they both started scooting out of the booth. "Bathroom break, don' mind me any."

Once Bulk was free, Hearth slipped back into the booth on Neil's side as she pressed against Eve. "I hope you don't mind us mares cuddling up a little and letting the stallions have the other side?"

Eve quickly scooched further into the booth, to the point where she was almost pressed against him as she gave Hearth enough room. "I don't mind at all, Miss Hearth, being an equal opportunity cuddler myself," She all but purred as she joked.

Neil quickly slid himself and his drink down to the apex of the booth's curve, giving both mares all the room they needed as he wondered what was going on. And how did he end up alone, in a booth, with two mares that were being very friendly towards one another?

And, to top it all off, seconds later, a pale lavender Unicorn wearing the club's witch uniform showed up with a heavily laden tray full of drinks held in her bright pink aura. "Pardon me, mares, but is this entire order for the three of you?"


~~~


After that crisis was averted and the drinks were sorted, things calmed down in their little booth. 

Bulk returned a few minutes later, apparently refreshed and full of vigor. He quickly slid back in and reclaimed his spot next to Neil. Between him and Hearth, they held a decently long conversation with Hallowed Eve that mainly revolved around her work and what she did in the off-season.

Roughly an hour after that, the DJ stallion finished with a speedy techno song before switching out with a bright green mare who sported a large bubblegum pink afro and looked half covered in paint that reacted with the lights. By that point, Neil's vision was getting a little hazy. At the same time, Squall and Calm returned from the dance floor with a trio of giggly mares trailing them, of which Neil couldn't remember a single one of their names. 

All he knew about them was that two were wearing skintight superhero costumes. One was black and based on lightning, while the other was white and purple. The third mare wore a massive green wig, apparently having dressed up as their evil arch-nemesis. And finally, to sit at their booth, they had to pull up three unused chairs from another table. It was hectic, but Neil felt good about himself as long as he had a cup of booze in front of him.

Until he made the mistake of opening up his big, dumb mouth.

"I dunno how to dance," He admitted to the table, and whichever mare had asked him why he hadn't gone to the dance floor yet. It was the truth, after all, and one he didn't mind telling them at the time.

However, girls being girls, they couldn't just let it go as every one of them, except Hearth, burst into excited chatter. Neil couldn't follow as drunk as he was, but he understood a few snippets revolving around teaching him how to dance. 

Even Squall joined in on the discussion, "The next song just started, and it sounds pretty slow. . That's perfect for beginners!"

That sealed the deal for Squall's three mares and Eve while sealing his fate. With Eve's helpful aura steadying him, he managed to slip out of the booth without making an unsteady fool out of himself. 

At the same time, Squall managed to hop out from his side of the booth on his own, and with two of the mares flanking him on each side, he made his way down to the dance floor. Leaving just him, Eve, and the Unicorn mare wearing the lightning superhero suit. Once he felt ready to go, Eve came up on his right, while Lightning Mare came up on his left before escorting him to the dance floor that was less packed at this late hour.


~
If you like the fast lane don't be slow,
'Kuz I'm giving you the green light to go.
~


"Now, dancing is easy," Eve told him, sounding just as drunk as he felt before she pressed the side of her body against his. He might have tipped over just from that if not for Lightning Mare on his left, who also pressed into him. "Just swaaay in time with the music, and tada! Dancing."


~
If you got something you wanna show,
Show it to me!
~


At first, it felt more like he was being shoved by both mares. However, each time he closed his eyes, it was hard not to focus on the music's vibration flowing through him, as well as the mares pressed against him. In two or three blinks, it was starting to feel less like he was being pushed around and more like he was flowing in time, lost in a trance.

A fourth blink and the empty space to Lightning Mare's left was filled by Squall and his two mares. With how close they were, it looked like they were one large group, swaying in time with the slow beat...

Only for the bass to speed up as the DJ mare transitioned to another, faster song. Without thought, the group matched the new pace, sweeping Neil along with them. 

The next half an hour, at least, was a haze to Neil. It was a roller coaster ride of fast, then slow, then fast again. At some point, Squall left the dance floor, bringing all three mares and leaving him alone with Eve. Not that it bothered him too much. He was starting to get tipsy in his moves without the added stability. But she was just as drunk as he was, and together, they somehow managed to prevent catastrophe while experimenting with new dance moves they saw other ponies doing...

Only for the current song they were dancing in time with, to suddenly shift into a faster one without any warning.


~
One, two, three, four!
Gimme more, gimme more.
~


The sudden change shocked his mind, giving him an unusual amount of clarity at that moment. Enough for him to note that both of his front hooves were firmly gripping Eve's lower back, even though he didn't know how to hold things with his hooves, and that his extra long codpiece was fully entrenched between Eve's uncovered and decadently plush cheeks. Both were swaying and grinding in time to the new upbeat bass. 

Before he could react or pull away from his downright disgusting performance, he heard an unknown female voice whispering clearly in his ear, even with the loud music. "You're such a delightful little morsel. Just a touch of alcohol, and you become a macro head with a micro brain. Oh, I simply cannot wait until we officially meet. But, until then... Farewell, Mon Capitaine!"

At the same moment the voice stopped speaking, he felt a large, scaly something whip against his ass with enough force to topple both himself and Eve. He inhaled painfully, as a stinging, almost searing sensation spread across both cheeks, as Eve quickly pulled herself out from under him.

"Neil, are you alright?" She asked, leaning close to him and steadying him on his belly with her aura. "Are you hurt? Did you pull a muscle?"
Unfortunately, what clarity of mind he had was already gone, replaced with the alcoholic haze he nurtured for most of the night. "Maybe," He muttered, trying to remember exactly what happened and somewhat failing, "I think I'm done dancing f'r the night, though."

"That's fine," She said, wobbling as she stood back up. Then, with her green aura, she helped him up as well. "My legs are starting to feel a little sore, too. You're really big, y'know?"