Working Out the Kinks

by TritiumAge00

First published

You must have enemies working behind the scenes of reality. How else would you explain managing to jump start existence and slide sideways through space before landing unceremoniously in a magical world of ponies

You must have enemies working behind the scenes of reality. How else would you explain managing to jump start existence and slide sideways through space before landing unceremoniously in a magical world of ponies! Now almost three years have gone by and you find yourself as the owner and proprietor of The Simple Pleasures, a one stop shop for all things tactile. Using your own brand of magic, you soon become well known throughout the kingdom for delivering an unforgettably relaxing, and often times sensual, experience to an ever expanding list of clients. So take the time to treat yourself.t Trust me when I say you're in good hands.

Introductions

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C'mon you little..."

With your hands completely full, you struggle and curse through the process of retrieving the small keyring from your pocket and making the proper selection. Getting the deceptively slippery implement into the keyhole and turning the knob truly test your patience as snow continues to patter down around you from the slate grey sky above. You smile with relief as the the familiar jingle of bells signals victory over the stubborn door granting access to the cozy entryway of your home and shop. The place was pretty big and you know for certain it never would have been in your budget were it not for your very specific circumstances. Being the lone representative of an entire race in a decidedly foreign land had put you into almost overnight contact with the ruling class.

After managing to discharge the entire contents of a commercial freight train battery array through your body, you had found yourself spiraling through a dizzying plane of shapes and colors. Your first guess of the afterlife proved incorrect as the tube soon ended in your being dumped gracelessly through a cloud a horrible distance above the most stunningly crystal blue lake you had ever seen in your life. As if you really needed two doses of guaranteed death in less than a minute.

Miraculously, your seemingly much more resilient than usual body survived the flailing plunge.

You dragged your sputtering, bedraggled self all the way to shore swallowing at least a gallon of lake water along the way. You must have laid there starting up at the almost perfect summer sky for an hour wondering just what the holy high hell had happened. Somehow you managed to doze off, only to be awakened by who would be the first of your new friends in this bizarre world.

Rarity later explained to you that her reaction to finding what she thought to be a half drowned shaved minotaur was completely dignified and rational. Of course, she admitted, it may have helped with all the screaming and shouting had she not inadvertantly tripped over your prone form and landed her active horn directly into your navel. Imagine ten tons of dynamite going off in a fireworks factory and you'll draw an accurate picture.

Once your, how do you say, informal introductions had been sorted out, and your mind managed to come to terms with a land of colorful talking ponies, Rarity had calmed considerably and offered to cut her beach day short and bring you back to Ponyville with her. You still chuckled from time to time thinking about the town's incredibly appropriate name. Most of the citizens had been amazingly welcoming of your presence, so much so that you sometimes suspected larger forces at play. That suspicion eventually gave way to the realisation that these ponies, people, were just naturally trusting and friendly. It was incredibly refreshing considering the accepted social norms of the world you unexpectedly departed.

You fondly remember meeting practically every resident of town over the course of a single night courtesy of a certain pink party pony. There was the proud and loyal cyan pegasus Rainbow Dash. She hadn't exactly extended the olive branch upon your arrival and watched you like a hawk for the first month or so. Come to think of it, she had even give to the extent of hiring an actual hawk to keep tabs on your no doubt nefarious dealings while she was on weather detail.

It took a botched expedition into the eerily familiar shadows of the Everfree Forest with the adorably driven and sometimes socially detached Twilight Sparkle to convince Dash of your trustworthiness. For one reason or the other Twilight had insisted she absolutely needed your unique attributes to render assistance on the retrieval of an exceedingly rare flower to study its medicinal properties. You of course argued that the only unique attributes in your possession were your hands, and that she had managed quite nicely on her own without their aid long before your arrival. She had blushed cutely and babbled for a few minutes about interfering with the plants' innate leylines. You had a feeling it was a load of BS, but you acquiesced anyway after letting her squirm for a while.

So, you accompanied the miniature Jane Goodall on her trip wielding your trusty machete to act as glorified menial labor hacking through the dense foliage blocking your progress. Eventually, Twilight found a nice grove of the admittedly beautiful flowers and with much fanfare you proceeded to pluck them out by hand. Twilight tried to act annoyed, but your show of miming super dense impossibly heavy flora soon had her cracking up in heady peels of laughter. Everything was going great until the return trip.

Apparently your charades had eaten up more daylight than anticipated, as you had soon found yourselves trekking through a darkness that felt almost physical. Twilight continually assured you that everything was fine fine fine, but you could tell she was making a show to distract herself from the very real dangers lurking in the night. Your luck eventually ran out when a horror pulled fresh from your foulest nightmares ran shrieking and roaring at you from the maw of a cave. It wasn't until later in safety that you discovered the name for such an abomination; Manticore. It lunged for Twilight first, and you found yourself taken as if possessed to protect her. Your sanity was screaming at you from somewhere in the corners of your mind that you had a snowball's chance in hell of beating this behemoth with nothing more than a machete. That didn't matter though. As you ducked and wove your way mere inches from death, only the life of your new friend seemed important. As you gradually discovered in your time since, the fact that your body had gone through an unspecified toughening, something far beyond the human thresholds, was the ultimate reason for your survival that day. Twilight recounted your heroics to the rest of her closest friends when you had returned in the early hours of morning and even you couldn't explain this otherworldly durability. Suffice to say, there would be nothing more left of you than a smear on some trees had you arrived in Equestria as you had departed Earth.

Ever since then, Dash had trusted you implicitly, as if it had been her life you saved. You had to admit that once on your side, Dash made one hell of a friend.

That was nearly three years ago. Dropping your bags full of groceries and pressed flowers in the alcove off to the right, you sigh contentedly and shrug off your heavy winter coat and boots before returning to the door and flipping the 'Sorry We Missed You' sign around to face you. It was late Friday afternoon trailing steadily towards evening and you doubted any other customers would be gracing you with their presence. But still, business hours were what they were. You hummed to yourself while placing your groceries in their respective spots and hanging the flowers above the kitchen window. Looking out onto your now snow blanketed backyard, you mentally curse at the inevitable morning of shoveling you had to look forward to. Ah well. Honestly you didn't find yourself ruminating on the outdoor necessities as you may have back on Earth. The enthusiasm exuded by your neighbors as they worked to clean up after some of nature's nastier temper tantrums was infectious.

Speaking of infectious, you found yourself still absentmindedly humming along to the tune of the mystery song from earlier. Where had you picked that up? Probably something Pinkie had been singing on your last visit. Shrugging, you grab an apple and put the water on to boil. You were really looking forward to try some of the newly stocked tea you had picked up earlier at the market.

The tinkle of bells from the room behind ring out, distracting you from your routine. A customer? Could be. More likely just a friend stopping in to escape the weather. Pulling another mug down from the cabinet, you make your way to meet your guest. No matter guest or customer; you could use some company on this cold winter night.

Palming open the swinging door, you exit the kitchen with your signature greeting and a wide smile on your gave. "Good evening and welcome to Simple Pleasures! How may I service you?"

Chapter Two

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Working Out the Kinks - Chapter Two

"Is that really how you greet all your friends?"

The edges of your face curl up into a warm smile before you even step into the room.

"Well well, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening Miss Cherilee?"

She laughs like silver and moves towards you from her spot at the door. Your eyes are drawn immediately to the olivine scarf tucked snugly around her delicate neck, the way it brought out the warm laughter in her eyes. You loved the way it framed her face.

"How many times haves I told you not to call me that?" she asks, cheeks rosy from the winter chill.

"At least once more from the sound of it", you reply playfully.

"I've heard that one before", she jokes, now coming to directly before you, "and to answer your question, I was just on my way back from walking little Sweetie Belle home. You know how we've been spending extra time after class with her math lately.

You did in fact know. Sweetie Belle may inexplicitly be a walking talking dictionary, but her grasp of mathematics was another story entirely. Cherilee had started staying after two or three days a week to get the filly up to speed with her classmates. Still though, it wouldn't be right to let the school mare off that easily. "Well that does make sense I suppose, but still, my house isn't exactly on the way. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal, but with this weather..." You let your sentence trail off as you watch the heavy snowflakes glide silently by the window.

From the corner of your eye you can see the teacher doing everything she can not to stick her tongue out at you.

"Anyways", you begin stepping away from the window and towards the kitchen, "I just put some tea on and was thinking you might like to share some with me, since you're here and all." She smirks at your antics, but accepts. "Great!" You clap your hands dramatically. "I'll go grab our mugs. Why don't you go ahead and get comfortable on the couch? I'll be right in."

A look of pleased surprise flits across her face before she can school her features, but you catch it and smile. She notices and flushes slightly before clearing her throat and trotting past you into the kitchen. Shaking your head you turn and amble into the kitchen, set on retrieving your steaming hot prize.

After taking the few minutes to prepare tea for two, you make your way into the living room. Cherilee's ears swivel almost imperceptibly and she turns her head to track your progress across the room. She smiles and you can't help but feel a twinge of something fluttering in the pit of your stomach.

"Tea for the lady", you quip, passing the porcelain mug to her waiting hoof and taking your seat beside her. She glances quickly at the small gap between your bodies before taking her first sip of tea and humming appreciatively. You set your cup down on the heavily lacquered wooden top of your coffee table and stand making your way across the room to the fireplace. "So, why don't you catch me up with how things have been down at the schoolhouse while I get a fire going?"

"Oh things are going well", she replies smiling over the edge of the mug between her fore hooves. "The children get along so well for the most part and even when they don't it's usually fairly easy to play peacekeeper."

You smile at this and put the finishing touches on a fire that would make a survival expert proud. Once the paper and tinder are happily crackling, you brush a few stray sticks and wood splinters into the hearth and stand, turning back towards the couch. The joke you had ready dies on your lips as you see Cherilee looking wistfully past you into the jumping flames. It's immediately obvious that something is bothering her.

"Cherilee?" Your voice breaks her from the fire's spell. "Is something wrong?"

She looks into her now cooling mug with a barely audible sigh. "Oh I don't want you worrying yourself with my problems."

You consider this for a moment before retaking your place on the couch beside her. "Cheri. Please. I hope you know that I will always have time to listen to what's troubling you." Placing a reassuring hand on her back, you continue. "It's always good to talk to friends about your problems. Maybe it's something I can help with."

She thinks for a moment before rewarding you with a small smile. "Well okay. Maybe you're right." She breathes deeply and begins. "I've really been worried about Scootaloo lately."

Scootaloo? Honestly you hadn't been expecting that. "What's wrong with Scoots? She's been so happy since Dash started chaperoning her flight practice." You had a soft spot for the pint sized pegasus filly with the hard luck past.

"Oh yes, she has been beside herself about that. It's so wonderful that Dash stepped in to help her along. She's all Scootaloo ever seems to talk about. But there's only so much Dash can hope to do for her."

"This time of year is always especially hard for Scootaloo."She looks to you, eyes heavy with emotion. "She doesn't have anyone waiting for her at home. Can you imagine how hard that must be for a child around the holidays? When I think about what she must be going through inside it just breaks my heart. She always puts on such a tough act for her friends too."

A single tear slides down the mare's cheek as her emotions finally pour forth. With a sniffle she tries to settle herself and brings her hoof up ready to wipe the tear away. She is only halfway before your hand instead gently lands on her cheek, wiping away the offending drop with a single motion. She's silent for a long moment before closing her eyes and smiling beautifully.

"I'm really sorry about this. Here I am keeping you from your tea with a teacher's worries."

You sit back on the couch and can't help but notice she was right about the tea. That simply won't do. In a single motion, you pick up and drain the deceptively hot beverage hissing as the liquid coats your insides. From the look on her face she's even more surprised by your sudden action than you are. You decide to use this moment to speak your mind.

"Cherilee, I hate when people don't think they rate the attention of their friends. I care, I really do. Scoots is probably my favorite little filly around Ponyville. I don't think I could stand knowing she spent another Hearth's Warming Eve alone when I could have done something to help." The burn from the tea has tapered, giving your thoughts clarity and direction. "Cherilee, I don't know exactly how I'll do it yet, but I promise that Scoots is going to have the happy holiday she deserves."

For a full minute, she sits looking down at the small space between your bodies on the cushion. Worry begins to replace the tea in your stomach, and you close your eyes groaning silently at your lapsed judgement. "Look Cherilee, maybe it wasn't my place to say anyth".

You pause feeling the pressure of a fore hoof pressing softly against your chest.

"Stop. Please. You should never apologize for wanting to show kindness to those who need it most." There are more tears at the edges of her eyes just barely being held back. "You're always like this with everyone. So giving and warm. In fact, it's probably my favorite thing about you."

You smile at her display of honest emotion and move to bridge the remaining division between your bodies. She is suddenly very quiet, taking a sudden interest in what can only be the very last few drops of her tea.

She's gauging you. Waiting for you to take the initiative in what has suddenly become a game of predator and prey.

Who were you to disappoint a lady.

You casually pull her into your side and bring your hand down, palming her thigh. "You know, if I didn't know any better I would swear that you were saying you had a thing for me." You feel her entire body tense. Her breath hitches in surprise, but then she melts into you with a long sigh.

She hums from somewhere in her chest and you feel it more than hear it. "Subtlety? That's a new one for you."

"Hmm? Really? Well, maybe." Your hand twitches and starts tracing lazy circles in her luxuriously soft fur with your fingertips. An adorable blush cuts across her cheeks as her eyes slowly drift closed. Your fingertips trace shallow furrows in the soft fur beneath them.

You continue to make small talk to thenow enchanted mare while making slow passes up and down her side. She doesn't even attempt to hide the fact that she's no longer listening. Testing the waters, you allow your hand to cup the firm muscles lining her ribcage and trail downwards, tracing the defined curve of her flank. This draws a quiet murmur of approval from your captive audience. You take your time here, alternating in the pressure and pattern of your touch. Massage the shallow valley below her ribs before moving north once more to the nape of her neck, toying with each sensitive rib along the way. Her breathing begins to deepen and quicken while her body draws further into you, reacting to your caress.

Your hand reaches her cutie mark and she reacts as though hit by an electric shock. Her back arches and her mouth opens drawing a deep breath that trails into a low moan. You grin and turn your chest, moving your bodies along the length of the couch.

Breathlessly, she looks up at you though heavily lidded eyes. "You know... I think I can see why... your little business here is so... popular." You almost didn't think she'd manage to get that out. Smirking, you take her soft lips in yours.

For several long minutes, you kiss, barely pausing for breaths. Your tongues gently meet and briefly wrestle for dominance. You smile into the kiss and break away for a scant moment before moving to her delicate jawline. You move from one spot to another paying lavish attention to each as you go. Her gasps and soft coos bring a welcome warmth to your chest.

"I really hope you're not intending to charge me for a session tonight", she manages between the sounds of her satisfaction.

"Oh Cheri, it hurts me that you would think so little of my character", you reply, barely pausing for a moment in your barrage on her body. She laughs and you respond by covering her with your warm shadow, your bodies seamlessly following the curves of one another. Her breathing is coming heavy and firm now; her heart pulsing strongly in concert with your own. You hear the sharp crack and hiss of the fire still burning strongly in the room behind you, but it seems almost silent in comparison.

You trace your fingers in figure eights lightly across her cutie mark and use the digits of your other hand to tenderly knead a spot along her shoulder. Your hand trails off in its ministrations of her cutie mark, dragging purposefully down first to trail circles around her knee before turning and tracking north along her inner thigh. Using your thumb, you firmly massage the sensitive flesh, earning more appreciative sighs for your efforts. You cup her cheek and meeting her pressed lips in another passionate kiss. This seems to finally restart her mind, and she returns your attention with equal fervour. Her breath hitches as your fingers continue to channel passion through her body.

The flush in her cheeks has now spread down to her chest, visible through even the longer tufts of fur there. She starts to shiver in your firm grasp, but you know it's not from any cold. Her body is nearing its limit. Amidst moans, she calls out your name and arches her back in one last powerful throe. As if a puppet whose strings have been cut, her body collapses back into the couch, all tension gone in a moment.

You smile feeling deeply satisfied at having been able to bring the beautiful educator such pleasure . "So", you begin, " did you enjoy what is more commonly known by some of my other clients as the Simply Sensual treatment?" Her only response is deep and even breathing as she has fallen asleep beneath you. You can't help but laugh at the heart warming display and pull a heavy blanket from behind you before falling over next to her beneath its woollen embrace. In her sleep she cuddles into the hollow of your chest with a look of total satisfaction gracing her serene face. You kiss her forehead and shut your eyes before joining her in sleep only moments later.