Well This Is Different

by Whatthef

First published

Sgt. James Gribs has served in the US Army for 8 years, everything he knows is about to disappear.

Sgt. James Gribs has served as a US Army Ranger for eight years, witnessing many tragedies with the deaths of his brothers being the most traumatizing. When given the option to lead a mission on the fifth anniversary of their deaths, he seizes the opportunity. Life as he knows it will change, but will it be for the better?




There might end up being some shipping much later on but no clop.

Prologue

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”Sergeant Gribs, we would appreciate it if you were paying attention here. You’re already notorious for having an incredibly short attention span, but still, I think you could probably last at least 15 seconds.” This statement earned chuckles from Gribs fellow squad leaders.

With that he suddenly looked up at his Platoon Leader. “Sorry for already spacing out, sir, but is this mission going to be any different than any of the numerous other snatch and grabs that we’ve already completed?”

Captain Rikes shrugged and resumed, “Probably, there have been reports from our assets that these ones have advanced technologies.”
Gribs interrupted, “Like what, sir? What have the terrorists come up with now? Have they figured out how to use the clackers?”
Rikes continued, “We don’t know for sure since our informant seemed terrified about being shot the entire time he was on the base; he didn’t really delve deeply into the information he was providing. But, we have been trained to handle any of the shit that they try to throw at us. Always remember that we are Rangers; there are few in this military that are better than us, and even then, they recruit from us.”

The Captain continued with his Op Order and told his men to get to their squads and gear up. Gribs stuck around for a moment after the rest of the squad leaders had left. Rikes noticed this and then sat down.
“Something on your mind Jim?”
“Well, yeah… It’s the 5th anniversary.”

“I know, I remember your brothers. Best damn sniper team we had. So what do you want?”

“Well… I was wondering, sir, could my squad be the one to breach the compound?”

“Does your squad know about this?”

“They were the ones who suggested it, sir.”

“I see, do you personally want to be the point man?”

“I… Yes, sir, I would like that very much”

“I’ll let 2nd squad know that their position has been moved to the roof.”

“Thank you, sir, I’ll go get my men squared away now.”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back at the barracks, Jim’s squad was busy getting ready for their mission. They all knew what had happened five years ago today.

Jim had two brothers that were in this very same company and had somehow managed to convince their superiors that they would make a good sniper team. The oldest brother, Luke, was the most deadly sniper in the U.S. at that time and had often gone hunting with the baby of the family, John. During their hunts--some of which having them go out into the wilderness for weeks at a time--they developed a method of spotting and sniping that rivaled and eventually surpassed the best of any nation that sent their teams to the annual sniper trials. Their shear amount of kills bestowed upon them the nickname The Brothers Grimm. During a mission that took them deep into heavily defended mountain ranges, the two brothers managed to take out almost ninety terrorists before they felt the need to call for an extraction. When Jim got the message that his brothers needed help, he was ready to go in ten minutes, record time considering that he had been sleeping when the message came in. The Blackhawks in which they were riding were heavily modified for silence and stealth so that all but one of them were able to sneak behind the encampment with great ease. The one that Jim was in was to be the one to actually pick up the brothers. When all of the helicopters were in place, an order was given and everything erupted in the camp; incendiary rounds mixed with hollow points roared from the mini-guns mounted to the helicopters, turning everything organic in the camp into smoldering piles of red jelly. John and Luke were sure they saw a terrorist’s head explode into nothingness. Once all life in the camp had been obliterated, the one helicopter that had hung back swooped in to pick up the brothers just as a group of terrorists that had been on their way to the camp came up behind the brothers and opened fire. Jim watched from the helicopter as his brothers were torn to pieces right in front of his eyes and screamed with rage. Accuracy ran in the family and Jim was currently the squads SAW operator; he opened fire and dropped half of the terrorists before the mini-guns even began firing. Once the last of the terrorists were disabled, Jim’s squad swiftly lined into position and Jim began stabbing any of the terrorists that were unfortunate enough to survive the machine guns’ tirade.
________________________________________________________________________________________________

All of Jim’s squad knew this unfortunate tale. For this reason, they encouraged him to ask to be the first squad into the compound they were storming.

“So, you ready to be the first in the door Jim?”

“That all depends… are you ready to give one of your signature kicks, Private Allen?”

“Well, are we going for the complete destruction of the door or just partial destruction?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

“Hell yeah! Which way do you want the door to go? Bottom first or top?”

“Let’s go with the top; we wouldn’t want the door to slide under anybody, now would we? Besides, if the top goes first, we can use the door to step on anything underneath.”

“Aw yeah, my legs are ready.”

“Alright, enough screwing around. Get your shit squared away and to the heli-pads”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

The ride to the LZ was uneventful, which gave Jim time to think about his brothers; about how Luke always protected them, about how John always seemed to be getting picked on and called gay because he enjoyed being able to show kindness to the most seemingly undeserving people. When his body made it back to the base, the only organ that didn’t have any bullet holes in it was his heart. Jim heard about this and began to do something he had really never done before; he began to cry.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

For strategic and stealth reasons, all of the soldiers that were entering the building at the ground level were dropped about five kilometers from the compound. When the compound was reached, Jim’s fire team formed up in their customary file formation to be able to charge in quickly. The signal was passed and Private Allen moved up to the door to check the frame for wires to any explosives. Finding none, he looked to Jim who merely nodded. Immediately following was a jumping two foot kick to the top and center of the door from Allen. The door flew down as requested and was followed almost immediately by Jim charging into the room.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Greetings James. I have been watching you for some time. You have unfortunately detonated a trap set by your enemies.”

“…JIM! JIM CAN YOU HEAR ME?...”

“I have noticed that since your brother’s deaths, you have not had any joy in your life and have been alone.”

“…DON’T YOU FUCKING DIE ON US JIM, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MEDIC?...”

"I, too, know what it is to be alone. Fortunately, it ended quite recently."

"...GIVE HIM THE FUCKING MORPHINE..."

“I am offering you a choice: you can either be sent back to your body and live without your legs and most of your face or you can be sent to a veritable paradise where you will be able to find happiness in your life again with a new body that is slightly conformed to your current skills.”

“…YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE JIM, STAY WITH US MAN...”

“No matter your choice, you will not remember our conversation.”

“…We can’t save his legs or his eyes. With how severe his wounds are, he should be dead right now…”

“Make your choice James.”

“…He’s gone…”

Ch1 Waking up and blacking out and waking up again.

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“Oh God, what the hell happened?”
Let’s think for a minute, what was the last thing I did? Trying to clear a building.
Why is it so dark? And why does the air smell stagnant? This is probably the nicest smelling hajji hut I’ve ever been in.
“Allen, where the hell are we?”

“Allen, where are we?”

“Allen?”

“Anybody?”

“OK, nice joke, get your asses out here now.”

“This is no longer funny.”

“Is there really nobody there?”

So that must mean that I’m dead, and that would make this Hell. Is that a tree? The entrance to Hell is in a forest? That’s actually really subtle.
*rustle*
“Well I guess it’s time to meet the Hell spawn.”
*low growl*
“Congratulations Satan, you’ve outdone yourself with weirdness.”

The creature that emerged from the bushes was unlike any that Jim had ever seen before. It had the three heads, one of a lion, one of a goat and the head of a dragon on its tail, this creature was known to the ancient Greeks as the Chimera, fortunately for Jim, this Chimera was not fully grown so was unable to breathe fire. Regardless of this, it was still a formidable creature.
Jim taunted the creature, goading it to attack him, “Aw come on, I’ve already got eternal torment and separation queued up, let’s get this shit started.”
The Chimera stared at Jim, a grin slowly creeping across all three of its faces. It crouched, coiled up its muscles and then pounced. Jim’s training gave him quick reflexes, which came to great use here as he had to move at his fastest to dodge the outstretched claws while still delivering a well-placed and solid strike the Chimera’s rib cage. The Chimera curled up in pain at the strike, used to having his prey run or completely cease to move from fear, he was unsure how to proceed with this new prey that actively resisted him. The Chimera adapted a different technique, he began to use the darkness and shadows to his advantage, luring Jim towards the darker parts of the forest, Jim followed as he knew he had no way of getting out of this forest by himself. Deeper into the forest, Jim began to sense more of the creatures circling around him, cutting off his escape. This Chimera, being young and foolish, led Jim across a well established path. When Jim realized this, he took his opportunity and sprinted down the path with the creatures hot on his trail. After 5 minutes of a dead sprint, Jim began to slow to catch his breath, as he did the young and foolish Chimera jumped at Jim from the side. Jim heard the Chimera at the last moment and dropped as low as he could, and avoided being tackled by the Chimera. He did not avoid the dragonhead that was the tail as it was able to bite a small piece of flesh out of Jim’s side. With the sudden addition of pain, Jim’s pupils went to pinpricks as a blood rage overtook him that he had been fortunate enough to not receive in exactly five years. He proceeded to beat the life out of the young Chimera, glancing down the trail he saw a light and began to run once more. The closer he got to the light, the more desperate the Chimeras attempts to reach him were. With a final surge of adrenaline, Jim burst out into the light and began running towards the first structure he saw, a small cottage just outside the forest. The Chimeras, having given up their pursuit at the tree line, roared in the forest with disdain for having let their prey go free. Jim slowed to a jog when he realized this and began to look around him at the vivid colors of the world.
‘Well, this is different from the entrance. Did I escape hell and now this is heaven? Oh would ya look at that, would ya just look at it, a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane, I wonder where the Centaurs are.’
“Excuse me, Pegasus thingy, but is this Heaven? Are you the Angel that’s supposed to lead me into the center of Heaven?”
Then something happened that Jim would have thought never to be possible. The Pegasus spoke.
“Oh my goodness, you’re hurt, let me help you.”
With that, Jim passed out, spent from his escape and in complete shock from the concept of a talking horse.
__________
Jim woke up in an environment that was familiar to him in his childhood, a hospital.
Well would you look at this concept, a hospital in Heaven. Jim looked down at his tan body and his hooves.
“I have hooves… I… Have hooves. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE HOOVES?! WHY AM I SOME KIND OF FUCKING HORSE??” Jim started to struggle around in the bed, flapping his wings in the process. “… I FUCKING HAVE WINGS!! HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!”
A pale horse with a red cross walked into the room “We’re called ponies, not horses.”
At this point Jim realized that he wasn’t in Heaven after all.
“I’m not in Heaven am I.”
“No sir you are not.”
“Well then is this Hell? Because I’m pretty sure I’m dead.”
“No sir you aren’t dead, you have Mrs. Fluttershy to thank for that. She came and got us after she found you, what do you eat? You’re a full head taller than Big Macintosh and he’s the largest pony in the area.”
“Uhm, you know, a little of this, a lot of that.”
“It took a lot of Twilight Sparkle’s magic just to keep you centered on Big Mac’s back.”
James wasn’t even paying attention to the nurse, thinking to himself, ‘What the hell? There are Pegasi and non Pegasi in this world? What’s next? Unicorns?’
“Oh by the way, what is your name?”
“My name?”
“Yes dear, your name, we need it for our records.”
“Umm, James. I’ve kind of made it a point to learn the names of my nurses, what’s yours?
“My name? Oh my, it’s been so long since a stallion has asked me my name. It’s Nurse Redheart, but you can call me Red if you’d like. Oh and before I forget, the Pegasus I mentioned before, Fluttershy, she’s been waiting for you to recover with some of her friends, they would like to speak with you. I would also like to warn you, there aren’t very many stallions in this town, to be precise, you are currently one of five stallions in a town with 250 mares.”
“Are you serious? The ratio is fifty to one?”
“Quite serious, you’re going to have a lot of visitors, and a lot of ‘visitors’”
‘Wow she put a lot of emphasis on that second ‘visitors’’
“And by ‘visitors,’ you mean?”
“Mares that want you to impregnate them.”
“Wow… Is that advisable?”
“Not if you’re planning on staying. Child support and all that.”
“Alright, am I in a recovered enough state to be allowed to have the first kind of visitors?”
“Yes, we’ve never had a pony who has received the amount of abuse that you did. Some other time, I would like to ask you how you got all of those scars.”
Jim glanced down at his new body and noticed that all of the scars he had received as a human had transferred to his new pony body in all of the same places. From the stab wounds in his abdomen to the scars from bullets in his chest, everything was where it should have been. James’s study of his new body was interrupted by a pink blur darting into the room.
“HI,MYNAMEISPINKIEPIEWHAT’SYOURNAME?YOU’RENEWHERECAUSEIKNOWEVERYPONYINPONYVILLEANDI’VENEVERSEENYOUBEFORE”
*GASP!!!* “THIS MEANS WE NEED TO HAVE A PARTY!!! LEERROOOOYY!!!!!! JENKINS!!!!!”
‘The fuck was that?’
Just as suddenly as the pink pony appeared it vanished. Its disappearance was followed by the appearance of three other ponies entering the room.
A purple pony with a horn on its forehead began to speak, “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, I am the personal student of Princess Celestia, these are my friends Rainbow Dash,” a light blue, maybe cyan Pegasus with a multi colored mane and tail “and Fluttershy,” the yellow Pegasus with the pink hair that you thought was the gatekeeper to Heaven before you were convinced that you were not dead. “Eeep.”
‘Ok, I now know for sure that I’m insane, there are unicorns and pegasi in this world, there is no other explanation to this since that nurse insists that I’m alive. Seriously brain? This is what you come up with? I am more fucked up than I had originally thought.’
“Forgive me for asking this, I seem to have sustained an injury to my head, but are you a unicorn?”
Slightly perplexed, Twilight answers, “Why yes, I am a unicorn.”
“Another question, what is the point of a unicorn?”
“You must have gotten quite a hit if you don’t know what a unicorn does, we have magical abilities that we can use on both our surroundings and other ponies if we wish.”
“So it’s a special weapon?”
“A what?”
“A special weapon.”
“What’s a weapon?”
‘Seriously brain? You create a fake world and you can’t even populate it with creatures that know what you’re talking about? I really hate your ass right now.’
“Uhh, an instrument of warfare.”
“Ohh, I read about war once, I didn’t know that they used instruments. Forgive me for judging you, but you don’t exactly look like a historian pony.”
“You... read… about warfare once…”
“Oh yes, the last war was when Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon and refused to lower the moon trying to plunge the world into eternal darkness.”
“…”
“Twi, I don’t think he knows what you’re talking about.”
“…”
“You’re really big.”
“Uhm, Dash...”
“What Fluttershy? He’s huge. He’s at least as tall as Princess Luna, and look at his wings, just one of them is as long as my entire wingspan.”
“Well I guess you’re right. Anyways, what’s your name?”
“James.”
“And where are you from?”
“Montana.”
“Hmm, I’ve never heard of that place before and I’ve read about every single city, province and country on this entire planet, so why don’t you tell us where you’re really from and why you have all those scars.”
“What is the name of this planet?”
“Equis, now answer the questions?”
“Well that explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“Why you’ve never heard of Montana.”
“And why is that? Enlighten us.”
“It’s not on this planet.”
“What? Are you like the Doctor?”
“Doctor who?”
“Hooves.”
“What?”
“Doctor Hooves.”
“Who is he?”
“He’s a colt that sometimes stays in town who once told me he could travel to different planets and times.”
“Well that’s just weird. Anyhow, I am tired, you know how it is with injuries and all, you need your rest.”
“…Fine, but I will be back.”
‘I’m sure you will.’
___________________________

“Dear Princess Celestia,
There is a new stallion in Ponyville who claims he’s not from this planet. He says his name is James and that he’s from Montana. He is a very large brown Pegasus with a brown mane and grey eyes. I may not exactly be the Element of Honesty, but it appeared that he was telling the truth. I thought it would be a good idea to let you know of his appearance.
You faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.


A/N Well this took a bit longer to put out than I thought it would. I realize that it’s just a little bit cliché to have your character attacked, but my prereader seemed to be fine with it when I pitched the idea to him. Anyways, I'll try to get these out more often but no guarantees.

Ch2 lolwut

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A/N Just for the hell of it, I’m going to add hyperlinks to the song I’m currently listening to while writing this, listen if you want to. I’m also slightly drunk right now so bear with me on the story clarity and spelling, and grammar, and coherence. A/N 3 months prior to the most recent authors notes. Seriously… Only while on alcohol can I write. And now to the story.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Dear Twilight Sparkle,
James is not of this world, I myself do not know the specifics of how he came to be, I do however know that he is willing to accept new things as he is under the belied that he is dead and this is his afterlife. My sister and I would be appreciative if you did not tell him about us and what we are capable of. Treat him as you would any other pony, he is a good pony to have as a friend.
Sincerely
Princess Celestia.

“Hello James.”
“The fuck is this, the fuck is that, the fuck is you?”
“You can call me your conscience.”
“… Oook, what are you doing talking to me?”
“Have you never had a conversation with your conscience before?”
“No, no I haven’t, if you’ve tried talking to me before I guess I couldn’t hear you.”
“Well then, now that the introductions are complete, how are you?”
“Fine I guess, considering that I’m a fucking horse and dead, I’m doing just fine.”
“You are not a horse you are a pony, and on top of that, you are a Pegasus.”
“Yeah yeah yeah, big fucking difference.”
“There is a difference, you are not a beast of burden.”
“Really.”
“Really.”
“Then what is a beast of burden here?”
“There are no true beasts of burden here in the context that you’re thinking. There are ponies that fulfill tasks that you would think qualifies as beasts of burden, but they are not beasts of burden.”
“Well isn’t that fanfuckingtastic.”
“Yes it is.”
“So what the hell am I supposed to do here?”
“What would you like to do?”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t Catholic, I don’t know what to expect from purgatory.”
“This is not purgatory.”
“It isn’t well let me just cross that off of my list of where the fuck I am.”
“You are in Equestria.”
“Yeah yeah, the purple unicorn said that too.”
“Her name is Twilight Sparkle, you may want to get to know her better.”
“Why? So she can question me some more?”
“If she attempts to question you that is not my problem.”
“Yeah it sure as hell isn’t, you’re my conscience or whatever.”
“No it is not my problem. While you are here you might as well learn to use those large wings of yours.”
“They aren’t just for decoration?”
“They are not, I think that Rainbow Dash would be a good teacher for you.”
“Why her?”
“In my opinion she seems to be built for speed.”
“Oh really, and my conscience has an opinion in this matter after only a day in this place.”
“Yes I do and just so you know you are not required to speak out loud for me to hear you.”
“So if I just think of what I was going to say you’ll hear it?”
“Yes.”
“This is a test of the emergency alert system, if you are hearing this holy fucking hell.”
“That was rather clever of you to think.”
“Holy shit it worked.”
“Yes it did, now are you going to complete your mission or not?”
“Yeah sure. Wait, mission? You never said anything about a fucking mission before.”
“…”
“Conscience?”
“…”
“Well fuck.”
“Hi Red.”
“Hello James, you’re being discharged now. Do you know where you’re going to go?”
“No idea, might as well start with the people that brought me here.”
“Ponies.”
“That’s what I meant, might as well start with them.”
“Which do you intend to start with? I can give you directions to where they live.”
“Might as well start with the one closest to the hospital, do you know which one that is?”
“Ah that would be Twilight Sparkle, she lives in the Ponyville library, it’s a giant tree towards the middle of the town.”
“Thanks, I should be able to find it as long as I know what I’m looking for.”
“No problem, if you’re not going to be staying in town and are interested in a little… sendoff… let me know.”
“She wants my dick.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”

*knock knock*
“SPIKE COULD YOU GET THAT?”
“Sheesh Twi, you don’t have to shout.”
“Sorry, I’m just a little bit confused about the Princesses reply.”
“Maybe you should just accept him and become friends with him like the princess suggested.”
“I don’t know, he thinks he’s dead and he’s from another planet, it’s not physically possible, he is not physically possible.”
“So? You thought time travel was impossible.”
“Ponies that think they’re dead are also probably more likely to be violent.”
“Well I guess I could see how that would be a prob…”
*KNOCK KNOCK*
“You forgot the door Spike.”
(Roadside, Rise Against – The Sufferer & the Witness.)“I’m coming.”
James heard some shuffling towards the door. It opened to reveal a large reptile creature, James had already become accustomed to peculiarities at this point and was not surprised that the lizard had the capability of speech
“You’re really big”
“Thank you captain obvious, I’ve been told that already.”
“No you’re really big.”
“Is my size really that much different from the other ‘ponies’ that live here.”
“Yeah, you’re at least as tall as Princess Luna.”
“That’s nice.”
“Are the royalty really that much larger than everything else?”
“The royalty seem to be the largest ponies in existence”
“Again, thank you captain obvious.”
“You should not be smart mouthing your conscience.”
“Fine.”
“Is Twilight Sparkle here?”
“Yeah, she’s upstairs, TWILIGHT!!”
“What is it Spike?”
“You know that pony we were just talking about?”
“James? What about him?”
“Well he’s here.”
“Coming!”
Twilight came bursting out of her room with a somewhat excited look on her face and charged down the stairs getting right into James’ face.
“She’s kinda hot in a nerdy way… WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN!! SHE’S A FUCKING HORSE!!”
“Pony, and maybe your preferences changed when you moved into a new body, the same way you were used to running using all of your legs instead of just your back legs.”
“But still, SHE’S A FUCKING PURPLE UNICORN!”
“And your point is?”
“Hello again James, there’s so many questions I want to ask you.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, stop right there, I’m not going to be interrogated by you on my second day here.”
“No questions?”
“None.”
“Alright, what did you want.”
“First off, I have no place to stay in this place since and for as much as I know about flying, these wings are useless. So I need a place to stay and I guess flying lessons.”
“For the flying lessons you should talk to Rainbow Dash, as for the place to stay, I’ll have to ask around among my friends.”
“I would appreciate that, where can I find Rainbow Dash?”
“Your best bet would be to look for any clouds with a rainbow colored tail hanging off of it.”
“Clouds are static and support a pony?”
To which Twilight just looked at James incredulously.
“Seriously brain, what the fuck.”
(So Sorry To Say, Celldweller.)
“Hey Rainbow Dash…”
No response.
“Rainbow Dash!!!”
Still no response.
“RAINBOW FUCKING DASH!!”
“WHAT!?!”
“Finally! I thought I was going to go hoarse trying to get your attention.”
“I see what you did there, and it wasn’t very funny.”
“What? Oh, that wasn’t intentional.”
“Fine, what did you want?”
“If I could get some flying lessons that’d be awesome.”
“Wait a second, you can’t fly?”
“Nope.”
At that Rainbow Dash jumped from the cloud she had been napping on and glided down to where Jim was standing.
“Not at all?”
“Would I be here asking for flying lessons if I knew how to fly?”
“Huh, you have to be the oldest Pegasus I know that doesn’t know how to fly.”
“Well thanks…”

“Hey Scootaloo, I know you’re hiding behind that bush.”
A small orange Pegasus with a purple mane and tail came crawling out of the bushes where she had thought to have been perfectly concealed, not realizing that her orange coat made her visible in even the thickest woods.
“Yeah Rainbow Dash?”
“Congratulations kid, your flight lessons start today.”
At that the small Pegasus became visibly excited. She had the prospect of learning how to fly, from her personal idol none the less.
“Really? You mean it? You’re finally gonna teach me how to fly?”
“Yeah squirt, it’s time you get off the ground. Besides, this guy seems kinda stuck up, it’d be kinda awesome if a little filly being taught the same stuff learned how to fly quicker than a fully grown colt.”
“I seem stuck up? Can she hear herself talking?”
“Rainbow Dash will always seem brash.”
“Fucking great, my conscience is now speaking in rhymes.”
“If you do not like me speaking in rhymes, perhaps I should talk some other time.”
“…Fuck you, and the insanity and hallucinations that spawned you.”
“Oh, you would do best to not wish that upon me, I might go… Crazy…”
“Oh yeah? What’s the worst you could do? Remove some memories? Go for it.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Dammit James, I’m trying to help you here, but I can’t do shit if you are busy being sorry for yourself. You need to grow the buck up and try to make the best of this that you can.”
“What was the original topic again?”
“I don’t rememb… You need to learn how to fly.”
“Right, I need to learn to fly from a blue and rainbow colored pony that has wings… Fucking medications…”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Final notes here. Drunk me is a speed writing genius...

Ch3 I've got nothing...

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A/N WOOHOO!!! I’m actually writing now. I am seriously shocked right meow. Whelp, pootis and all that fun stuff, here’s another chapter, I started this one right after finishing that last one. Edit: ONLY. ON. ALCOHOL. I have no idea why but it seems to run in the family.
(ANYWHO...)
“Are you sure that this is a good idea for someon…pony that has never used his wings before? Shouldn’t I be doing some muscle memory stuff instead?”
James was standing at the edge of a cliff with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo.
“I have no idea, now stop being a foal and jump.”
At that, Scootaloo took the jump and tried flapping her little wings as quickly as possible. She was unable to gain enough air speed though and instead of gliding, began to panic and tucked her wings hard against her body, beginning a rocketing journey towards the surface of the planet 1000 meters below.
“Wait, she’s not flying. Rainbow! SHE’S NOT FUCKING FLYING!!”
“Nah, give her a second and she’ll figure it out.”
“Fuck that and fuck you.”
At that James jumped from the cliff, elongating his body and doing his best to become as aerodynamic as possible, putting the training that he received during HALO school to use with an actual need.
“What the actual fuck was either of them thinking? What am I thinking?”
“Straighten your neck and flap your wings forward.”
“Oh hey conscience, just in time to see me die too.”
“Do what I told you.”
James did what he was told and began to flap his massive wings. As he gained speed he began to see what appeared to be a Mach cone forming in front of his face.
“Holy hell, is the atmosphere here so much different that I’m able to break the sound barrier?”
“Keep flapping, the life of that filly depends on you.”
“We have the strangest and longest winded conversations ever but it seems that no one else notices the time pass, why is that?”
“This is neither the time nor the place to ask that, focus.”
“K.”
James reached the petrified filly and grabbed onto her with his hooves. By this time they had fallen to 125 meters from the ground.
”Spread your wings straight out against the fall.”
James did as he was told and began to glide gently for the last 100 meters gently setting down on a grassy meadow with a Pegasus that was overjoyed to be on the ground again.
“Scootaloo are you alright?”
“You saved me.”
“Do you have any injuries?”
“You bucking saved me. What was I thinking, I can’t fly why’d I do that?”
“Because you wanted to learn?”
“Yeah I guess, but why would Dash take me up there to try to teach me how to fly when I can’t bucking fly?”
“Maybe she’s trying to kill you.”
“What?”
“It was a joke kid. But seriously though, I’ve never even had any basics and she took me up there, what WAS she thinking?”
“Hey, so I see that you guys survived.”
“No thanks to you, what the fuck were you thinking taking two flightless pegasus to a kilometer high cliff?”
“Well you flew.”
“And if I hadn’t, Scootaloo would be dead.”
“Well she isn’t.”
“I’m right here, and seriously though Dash, what the buck were you thinking? You know I can’t fly.”
“Maybe it was a small revenge for the Gabby Gums thing.”
“I apologized and had the paper print a retraction, what more do you want? My death?”
“You ruined my reputation in Cloudsdale, I can’t show my face there anymore because of you.”
“Whoa whoa whoa hold up a second here. What happened?”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders and I ran a gossip column for the Foal Free Press, Dash here was a subject for one of the columns.”
“What the fuck? Their gossip columns are run by children?”
“So it would seem, they even ran a column on Princess Celestia.”
“You seem to know a lot about this world conscience, are you actually a part of this world that just shows up around new arrivals?”
“I only speak when I need to get your attention.”
“So you’re like that annoying thing in Legend of Zelda.”
“But I say other words than what is needed to get your attention.”
“Right, so like I had started to say earlier, why are our conversations so much longer than the amount of time spent in them?”
“We are communicating at the speed of your thoughts, since you are more intelligent and have a faster working brain, our conversations need less time. By a factor of 6 to be exact.”
“Well that makes me feel pretty good about myself.”
“Kid, you’ve ruined my reputation of being a badass.”
“Not my fault that our cameraman was in the right place at the wrong time.”
“But you didn’t have to write that story to go with it.”
“But we did, and then we apologized to everypony that reads the paper.”
“Hey Dash, it seems that you’re holding a grudge that caused you to almost cause the death of somebody.”
“But you saved her.”
“I had no idea how to fly when I jumped. What would have happened if I hadn’t figured out how to glide and then I died as well?”
“Multiple tragic suicides.”
“You are a sick person.”
“A what?”
“Never mind. Come on Scootaloo let’s get out of here.”
_________________________________________________________________________
“What the actual fuck was she thinking?”
“I have no idea, and hey, I’m still a kid could you tone down the language?”
“Sorry about that, I’m really angry with somebopony right now. Anywho…. Let’s get you back to your parents.”
With that, Scootaloo stopped in the middle of the road.
“Kid, you coming?”
“I don’t know where my parents are.”
“What, did you lose them? It shouldn’t be that hard to find them, we can just get you back to your house at least.”
“I don’t have a home.”
“What? You don’t know where your parents are and you don’t have a home?”
“Yeah, I sometimes stay with Applebloom or Sweetie Belle but I can’t do that every night or Applejack and Rarity would start asking questions.”
“If you don’t want them asking questions, why are you answering mine?”
“You saved my life.”
“Hey conscience, is there a life debt thing in Equestria?”
“Meaning?”
“If I save somePONIES life, are they eternal indebted to me?”
“I think I understand what you mean, no there is not.”
“Then why is this little one opening up to me?”
“It seems that she trusts you enough to let you know what even her closest friends do not know.”
“That’s kinda fucked up, since I’ve already determined that you are a something from this world, what happened to her parents?”
“… They died, she doesn’t know, she thinks they are probably dead but is unsure.”
“They just died? And nobody is taking care of her?”
“That is correct, there are very few that knew Scootaloo’s parents and even fewer that knew that they had a foal.”
“She’s homeless?”
“Yes.”
“We have established that you aren’t my conscience, I want to help this one, I know what it is to feel loss, what can you do about getting me set up with living arrangements?”
“Well you could possibly stay with Lyra and Bon Bon for the summer, but you and Scootaloo haven’t broken a wing.”
“That matters?”
“It seems that to them it does.”
“Ok then, how about something a little more permanent?”
“I’ll see what I can do, go talk to the mayor of Ponyville, she’ll have something for you by the time you get there.”
“Thank you conscience. It would be nice if I could get a real name to call you by.”
“Conscience is fine for now.”
“Oodles.”
“Alright kid, I need to go to the mayor’s office, could you lead the way there?”
“Why do you need to go to the mayors office?”
“Find some housing.”
“Oh, ok it’s this way.”
“And then he just jumped after her.”
“He didn’t even hesitate?”
“I’m telling you Twilight, the guy knew what he was doing, I think he’s lying about the whole being from a different world thing. He even almost did a Sonic Rainboom.”
“Are you sure that’s what you saw?”
“As sure as I am that my name is Rainbow Dash.”
“Huh. But Princess Celestia’s letter clearly stated that he was from a different world.”
“Could Princess Celestia have sent a spy herself to check up on us?”
“I highly doubt that Dash. In all the years I spent with her in Canterlot, never once did she have and covert operations going.”
“You do know that they’re called covert operations for a reason Twi, because you aren’t supposed to see them.”
“Hey what were you doing with Scootaloo on that cliff anyways?”
“Uhh, I gotta go.”
“Rainbow Dash get back here!.. ughh.. I wonder…”
___________________________________________________________________
Dear Princess Celestia
It seems that this James pony has all the abilities of a Wonderbolt, but still claims that he is not from this world. He saved a pony from an almost certain death just today. If you and your sister could come and see him and examine him for yourselves to make sure that he is not a threat to anypony here, I would feel much safer.
Your Faithful Student
Twilight Sparkle.


____________________________________________________________________
Dear Madame Mayor
There will be a pegasus stallion coming to see you very soon. He will be inquiring about a home. His name is James and he is lacking a cutie mark at the moment. Give him the deed to the small vacant cottage near the library and also search for employment opportunities. You are not to tell him who made these arraignments for him on pain of banishment. I thank you for your assistance and finally, I have a feeling that he shall soon be interested in adopting the filly named Scootaloo, with this, help him where you can.
Sincerely,
Luna, Princess of the Moon.


A/N I blame any coherence and repetition errors on the bourbon. If you find one, let me know and I'll try to fix it.