> A Heart of Crystal and Glass
>  by Mani-Roar
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Cadance…"

I didn't recognize the name, but the voice that said it was lovely. So caring.

 “Cadance.”

I tried to open my eyes, but my heavy eyelids refused to move. I finally forced them open only to see a white void. 

Nothing. Emptiness. Something was missing. Part of me was gone and I didn't know what it was. I didn't even know-

"Cadance!" 

The voice was desperate now. My eyes adapted to the light and slowly the real room came into view. I was in a bedroom, laying flat on my back in an enormous bed. The sheets were silky and warm. The comforter was a thick wool that matched its name. My head rested on a cavalcade of pillows. I could feel my wings beneath my back.

I had wings?

Yes. I was a winged creature. A pony. This much I knew. 

"Cadance…" A purple colored pony smiled above me. Her eyes nearly crying, but her face shifted from concern to joy as my sight focused in on her. Tears flowed freely down her round cheeks as she sighed in relief, breathing heavily. She looked as if she had watched a family member come back to life.

Perhaps she had.

"Are you ok? How do you feel, Cadance?" The kind pony ran her hoof along my cheek. I had no idea who she was, but the warmth of her touch made me feel at home. Like I belonged here. 

"W-where am I?" I labored to speak. My jaw would barely obey my command to move. My lips were cracked and my whole body felt atrophied. Could I even lift myself out of bed? How long had I been asleep?

"You're home, Cadance. You've been home for a long time, but you wouldn't wake up." The poor mare shook her head. Her tears stopped, yet she seemed more upset all the same. "We weren't sure you would ever wake up. Oh Cadance, I was so scared."

She leaned over as her arms glided under my back and pulled me up to hug her. Instinctively I wanted to hug her back, but I was at a loss. Something was missing.

"Cadance…" I found myself saying. The word was foreign on my tongue. I struggled to find a way to ask. I didn't want to upset this gentle mare. "You keep calling me…" I watched her eyes glisten as if they may cry again. "Am I…?" She frowned. Concern gripped her brow, dragging it upwards to scrunch her forehead as I struggled to find the words. "Am I Cadance?"

She gasped. Her hoof slapped against her mouth as horrified understanding filled her face.

"Of course you are." She nodded quickly. "Don't you…"

"I can't remember anything." I shook my head as she released me from her grip. "I don't know… I…" I rubbed my forehead to ease the throbbing pain in my skull. My hoof bumped against my horn.

My horn?

I had a horn and I had wings. That meant I was an alicorn. I had to be. There was no other explanation. 

“You don’t remember?” The kind mare asked. The magenta and violet streaks in her dark hair rustled as she tucked her chin into her chest. “As in, you don’t remember what happened?” She frowned, studying my face like I was a science experiment. 

“I don’t remember anything at all.” I confessed. “I don’t know who I am, or who you are.” I pointed at her, which I regretted as soon as I did it. It seemed a bit rude and she hadn’t done anything wrong. Her face dropped as her chin quivered from frowning so hard. 

“You don’t remember me?” She leaned closer and I could feel her body heat. My eyes darted around the room. The sizeable space somehow felt too small. The whole room was made out of crystal. The nightstand and desk were shaped like wood, but the sparkling tint in them gave their true substance away. Everything in the room was brightly colored and sparkled with the tiniest bit of light. There was just enough of a shimmer coming through the closed curtains to glisten off the side of the dresser.

“No, I don’t.” I leaned my head away from her, but there wasn’t exactly anywhere for me to go. “I’m sorry.” I tried to think about the last thing I remembered doing before waking up in this bed. I strained my mind only to find myself staring into a deep fog. As if the truth was in there somewhere, but I just couldn’t see it. 

“Cadance…” The mare collapsed her hooves onto the bed. She sat there staring down at the sheets, and then at me, and then at the bed again. 

“What’s your name?” I asked, trying to break the awkwardness. Her eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. She shook her head as she picked up my hoof into hers. I was still nervous, yet I let her. 

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Her voice was soft and tender. “I’ve known you since I was a filly. You were my babysitter when I was little and now you’re my sister in law.”

My eyes went wide this time.

“Sister in law?” I repeated. It felt weird to say. “I’m married?”

Twilight nodded her head rapidly, like a bobble head toy. 

“Yes, Cadance, that’s right.” She squeezed my hoof. “You were married three years ago in the Canterlot Castle. It was a beautiful wedding, except for the part when…” she trailed off. 

“I was married in a castle?” I was surprised by the prestige of the venue. However, I had no idea what I should have expected in the first place. My blank thoughts could only think of one thing to say. “That… must have been expensive.”

“Well, yeah.” Twilight said, laughing a little. “It was expensive, but you’re a Princess. You were always going to be married in the castle.” Her dreamy eyes looked lost in memory. 

A Princess? I slid my hooves over my wings and horn again. If I was an alicorn, it made sense that I would be a Princess as well. Yet, I didn’t feel like one. Would I feel like royalty when I had my memories? Does any Princess “feel” like a Princess?

“Twilie?” A loud male voice came from outside the door. I flinched as the partially cracked bedroom door swung open in one quick motion. A tall white stallion burst into the room and I gripped Twilight’s hoof harder. “Twilie, I’m heading into town to check with the pegasi patrols. Is there anything you need…?”

He froze, staring directly at me. My jaw hinged open as I looked over his bulky figure. His blue hair curled around his angular cheek; touching him gently as the rest of his mane flowed down his back. His chest stuck out, protruding and exposing his pectoral muscles. He looked as strong as an ox, yet lean enough to still be quick and agile. A toned athlete or warrior.

He moved straight toward me and my mind panicked. I wanted to speak, but my voice wouldn't come. My heart beat furiously as he approached the bed. His face was determined and desperate as his hoof reached out. It came within an inch of my cheek when I blurted out,

"Don't touch me!" 

I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but terror gripped me just looking at him. He was handsome, but unfamiliar. Would anything ever be familiar to me again? 

He backed away one short step after another. His hoof was still reaching out toward me, but slowly losing the ground it had rapidly gained a moment ago. A knot turned in my stomach as I glanced at his face. He looked like someone had struck him. His eyes, much more gentle now, appeared like they might fill up with tears soon. 

"Cadance…" He said in a breathy voice. The name meant nothing to me. "What's the matter? Are you still hurt?"

He looked up and down my figure, causing me to blush. 

"I…" my voice wavered. "I don't know, I just…" I turned my gaze to Twilight, still sitting on the bed with me. My nose wrinkled as I silently pleaded for her to assist me. Even though I didn't remember either of them, it was harder to tell this stout stallion what was happening. As if there were more at stake. 

"Shining," Twilight began as she nodded at me before turning her gaze to him. "She doesn't remember anything. Whatever spell Chrysalis was conducting must have caused severe memory loss." 

Shining, apparently that was his name, stared blankly at Twilight. As if he couldn't quite process what she was saying until he looked at me again and the pieces fell into place. Or, perhaps rather, the pieces fell apart. His face looked gutted as he regarded me with pain filled eyes.

"You don't remember me?" 

The question stung, filling my mind with guilt. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do to assuage him unless I lied. I couldn’t bring myself to do that. 

"No." I looked away from him. "I don't remember you or her or anything. It's all blank." I rubbed my head again as if somehow massaging it would work the memories back into my brain. 

“I’m Shining Armor.” He started to move towards me, but stopped when he saw me shiver. “I’m your husband.”

My throat flooded with dread. “Cadance” was this stallion’s wife. “Cadance” was a Princess who lived in a castle. This was “Cadance’s” home, but I had no idea who I was. The thought of being married to a stallion I didn’t know horrified me. 

Cadance’s home was now my prison.

The corners of my mouth throbbed as I observed Shining Armor. Despite how strong and regal he was, his posture had collapsed. His shoulders slumped and his eyes looked like he hadn’t slept well. Everytime his eyes met mine, they quickly darted away. He had no idea what to do with himself. It wasn’t his fault. Assuming they were telling me the truth, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t hurt me. Yet having him in the room with me felt like a prison warden watching over me. 

“How long have I been unconscious?” I asked, changing the subject. I moved my hooves and twisted my torso, trying to feel out my physical being. I barely had any muscle on my bones whatsoever. I was weak and hungry, although food did not sound appealing at the moment. 

“A week.” Shining said and I felt my jaw drop.

“A week?” I yelled back a little too loud. No wonder my muscles were so decayed. 

“Yeah, you were hurt really badly.” He swallowed as if speaking was painful for him. “You were in a magic induced coma. I was afraid you would never wake up.” His brow lifted, lightening his expression which went from sorrow to hopeful, but then back to sorrow again. His fleeting joy evaporated by the reality of the situation. 

“I’m sorry.” Was all I could think to say. 

“Don’t be.” He smiled just a little too big. I didn’t know him and even I could tell he was attempting to be strong for me. “The important thing is that you’re ok.” He started walking forward again and I swallowed a lump in my throat. I tried to hide my anxiousness and put on a face for him too.

“Everything is gonna be fine now.” He creeped closer to me, his smile wide and his hoof outstretched. “Once you regain your memories, we’ll be back to how we were.” He was standing close enough that I could pick up his scent: a pleasant, yet overbearing musk. “It’ll be like nothing ever happened.”

He reached for my cheek. I wanted to let him. He obviously cared about me. He probably hadn’t slept the entire week while I was in a coma. Imagine waiting every night for your beloved to finally wake up, worrying that you may never see them again. Never getting to say “goodbye” or “I love you.” Wondering how many opportunities you had missed to say it now that they were gone. Then they finally come to. You think your prayers are answered, but then they…

“I can’t.” I closed my eyes and turned my cheek from him. I couldn’t stand to look at his reaction. I didn’t love him. I didn’t remember loving him. He was a stranger to me. And love, being in love, sharing love, well, that resonated with me. I understood it. But, towards him, I felt… nothing. When I opened my eyes again, he was past the foot of the bed and almost to the door. 

“I should let you rest.” He said to the floor. “You’ve been through a harrowing experience and you need time to process it. I don’t wanna…” He paused to look up at my uneasy expression, “I’m just afraid that I’m making it worse somehow.”  

Twilight pounded the bed with her hoof. It was absorbed by the mattress, but the sudden movement frightened me. 

“Queen Chrysalis.” She grunted through gritted teeth. She glared at me with a fierce rage. I could feel my own body heat rise as my heart rate went up. I wanted to believe that this mare was my friend, perhaps even my family, but I hesitated. I didn’t know her. I couldn’t be sure of anything. Who could I trust? What if they were the one who captured me and did this? No, that couldn’t be. It didn’t feel like they were faking their reactions. 

“Who is Queen Chrysalis?” I asked

“She’s the evil Queen of the Changelings.” Something about the way Twilight hissed “evil,” made me shutter. “All we know is, she kidnapped you and took you to the Crystal Caves under the mountain to conduct some sort of sinister experiment on you. That’s why your memories are gone.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “We didn’t get to you in time before she did permanent damage to you. I should have stopped her. Maybe then you’d remember. I’m so sorry, Cadance.”

Twilight wrapped her hooves around my waist and cried on my shoulder. She sobbed like she’d been holding it back for the entire week I was unconscious. Putting on a brave face. In some way, I could relate to that. I needed to do the same. Absorb this information in my own time but smile and nod for now. I could feel the warmth of her tears and breath in my chest as I ran my hoof through her soft violet mane.

“It’s alright, Twilight. Your name was Twilight right?” I laughed nervously, which sounded more like a chuckled cough. 

“Yes.” Her muffled voice was strained as the sound buried into my collarbone. 

“I’m sure you did everything you could.” I assumed that they had saved me from this Queen Chrysalis and brought me back alive. What was left of me anyway. Yet, she still blamed herself for what happened under the mountain. I was suddenly relieved that I couldn’t remember anything. It was probably an intensely unsettling affair. 

“But how could you know that if you don’t remember what happened?” She looked up at me with her foal-like gaze. Sniffling and frowning like she was about to be punished by a parent. I certainly had no reprimands for her. Unfortunately, I also had no answer to her point. I just stammered out something unintelligible and trailed off.

“I was there too, Twilie.” Shining Armor stood over his sister and placed his hoof on her back. My hooves were just below his, almost touching. Both of us were now comforting Twilight together. I wondered if this was normal for us as a family?

Family?

This was my family. For the moment, I didn’t mind their closeness. Shining Armor was standing right over me again, but he also respected my wish not to be touched. Not by him. 

“And I do remember what happened.” He continued and Twilight gripped me tighter. “You acted quickly and decisively. You destroyed the orb that Chrysalis was using to modify or enhance her magic. We’re not sure exactly what she was trying to do with her experiment.” He gave me a quick shrug. “There was nothing more you could have done.”

“But it wasn’t enough!” Twilight whipped her head around to face Shining Armor as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’m supposed to save the day. I’ve done it so many times, me and my friends. We’ve saved Equestria from many evil beings and it always works out in the end, but this time…” She looked at me and lost control of her tears, sobbing and gasping for breath to continue speaking. “It’s not ok.”

She shook her head and repeated, “It’s not ok. I’ve lost you, Cadance. I’ve lost my sister in law.”

I could feel my own tears welling up. It was hard not to be emotional when the pony grasping me so tightly was sobbing uncontrollably. Blaming herself for a failure that I could not condemn her for. I took a deep breath and forced them back down.

“I’m still here.” I pressed my forehead against hers, our horns crossed with a gentle tapping sound. “I may not know who I am, but I’m here because of you. Safe, alive, and obviously loved. Thank you, Twilight.”

“Her memories will come back.” Shining smiled at Twilight and then me. His eyes betrayed the doubt and anguish he was hiding. “We’ll find a way to fix this, to heal her. And failing that, I’m sure it will just be a matter of time.”

“How can you know that?” Twilight argued back. “We don’t know the nature of the magic being used. There’s nothing to base a working theory on whether it’s temporary or not. Without more data, there’s no way to…”

“Twilie.” Shining interrupted her. “It’s going to be alright. We will get Cadance's memories back.” He turned to look at me as he added, “I promise.” 

I saw the hope in his eyes. His promise filled me with a hope that was steadfast. I felt myself blush. Twilight didn’t look convinced so I decided to change the subject and hide my feelings.

“Why do you always have to save the day? Save Equestria?” I asked as my eyes drew to the wings on Twilight’s back. 

“Because I’m Equestria’s Princess of Friendship.” She loosened her grip on me to sit up straight and square her shoulders. “It’s my duty to protect Equestia from all who would threaten it, foreign and domestic.” 

My jaw dropped. Everypony in this room was royalty. Just one big happy royal family, I suppose. 

“So we’re all Equestrian royalty?” I asked as the mood in the room improved slightly. 

“Yes.”

“Sort of…” 

They spoke simultaneously. Shining Armor looked perplexed so Twilight elaborated on her comment. “Well, you see, I’m Equestrian royalty. This is technically the Crystal Empire of which you and Shining Armor are co-rulers.”

“The Crystal Empire? So, we’re not part of Equestria?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. I suppose that explained the crystal furniture. I wondered if the roads themselves were carved out of crystal.

“Yes and no.” Twilight tilted her head back and forth as if to answer my tilt. “It’s an independent protectorate state with its own ruling body. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna of Equestria are sort of like watchful friends and guardians for the Crystal Empire.” She smiled warmly as she mentioned the other Princesses. That made four in total by my count and one Prince. Just how much royalty these territories had I was uncertain of. 

“So we’re an Equestrian puppet state.” I said flatly, simplifying it rationally to myself. I didn’t mean to imply anything by it, but Twilight gasped and shared an uncomfortable glance with Shining Armor. 

“What? No!” Twilight’s face contorted in panic as she tried to find the right words. “I mean…” She sighed. “I suppose from a cynical point of view you could describe it that way, but it’s not like that at all.” She shook her head fervently.

I reeled back instantly. Embarrassed to have caused friction amongst the close group. My cheeks heated so much I must have been bright red in the face. 

“I’m sorry. If you, or we, don’t see it that way then that’s fine. I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” I could hear the wheels turning in my brain as I backpedaled. 

“But you think foreign powers might see it that way.” Shining Armor glared directly at me. No, not at me. Straight through me. As if he could read my mind and hear my thoughts. Maybe he could with some kind of royal magic or marriage bond spell. The more I thought about what I didn’t know, the scarier my situation was. I decided it was best to just stick to the conversation at hand and not let my mind drift too much.

Oh no. What was I going to do when I was alone and trying to sleep?

“Yes.” I answered him honestly and returned his serious stare. I didn’t care how frightened I was on the inside, I wasn’t going to let some stallion intimidate me. Even if he was supposedly my husband. That was probably unfair. It’s not like he was trying to intimidate me. I thought. I hoped.

“Then you think that the Crystal Empire may look weak to outsiders?” He said like he was trying to sound neutral and unimpassioned, yet just a tinge of attitude slipped through. 

“I think we may look dependent on Equestria, yes.” I furrowed my brow as I answered back, equally neutral. “And Equestria may look imperialistic as a result.” I expected Shining to get a little upset and respond, but it was Twilight who looked offended as she answered.

“Equestria is not imperialistic!” She sounded just as upset as when she spoke of Queen Chrysalis. Her cheeks flushed as fumes came off her glare. “Celestia would never oppress any country or race.” I wanted to apologize, but she continued before I could jump in. “And the Crystal Empire is not a puppet state. They have their own voice in Equestria and are free to rule themselves. You have your own laws and officials. And if you and Shining disagreed with Celestia on something she asked, you could absolutely refuse her request. Your independence is paramount!” She slammed her hoof on the bed again. Suddenly I felt like we were foals having an argument at a sleepover. Arguing with raised voices while lounging on a bed seemed a bit ridiculous. I half expected a pillow to fly at my face.

“I’m sorry.” My voice dropped to near a whisper. Twilight’s expression instantly softened. “I was just thinking about what someone else may think.”

“But you don’t seriously think that, right Cadance?” Twilight made the saddest, most puppy-like expression at me.

“I’m sure the relationship between the two powers is just like you say.” I smiled as kindly as I could muster at her. My family risked their lives to save me and all I could do was insult their homeland. A homeland that they themselves ruled. I must have been a miserably selfish creature. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just open up to them? Let them be my family. 

Why didn’t I feel safe?

Twilight returned my smile, taking my hoof into hers again. 

“Well that’s good.” She sighed for a moment. “I’m sorry I raised my voice at you. You’ve gone through such an awful ordeal and it’s not fair for me to lash out like that.” She rubbed my upper arm with her hoof. The rustling of my body fur felt nice to her gentle touch. 

“Uhm, while I hate to break up our touching reunion…” Shining Armor cleared his throat as he carefully watched his sister touch my arm. The jealousy was seeping into his furrowed brow and tired eyes. It was my fault. I was guilty of this hypocrisy. I could remember neither of them, yet I was ok with Twilight’s touch, but not his. I looked away from him in shame. “But, we do have a kingdom to consider.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked and I was grateful that I didn’t have to. 

“Princess Cadance has been absent from the public eye for a week.” He gestured to me. I saw his pointed hoof out of the corner of my eye. “We didn’t want the public, or our enemies for that matter, to know she was in a coma. But word has been getting around that she’s sick. We need to make a public appearance to show our subjects that Cadance is fine and life is going on as normal.” 

“Is my presence that critical?” I asked, finally looking at him again. There was nothing but coldness in his eyes. Maybe he was angry that his wife was so cruel to him. Maybe he was just dealing with such rejection by putting on a strong face and talking business. Rather it was either or both I didn’t know. 

“If you were just on vacation it would be one thing.” He sighed and made a conscious effort to lighten his expression. I almost preferred the cold one. This guy could not hide that he was in a bad mood at all. Was I into such sensitive and earnest stallions? His muscles sure didn’t look sensitive, but meeting him for five minutes revealed his true nature. 

“However, your magic controls the Crystal Heart.” He continued. “It’s an artifact that stores the good will of our kingdom. It forms a protective barrier around our capital, and powers the city. Your love magic is what keeps the heart functioning. If the Crystal Ponies knew you were unconscious, the public might panic.” He trailed off for a moment.

“And our enemies might take the opportunity to strike.” I finished for him. 

“That’s right.” He nodded. “Chrysalis is still out there.”

“Oh my Celestia!” We both turned as Twilight slapped her forehead. “How could I forget about the Crystal Heart? I’ve been so focused on Cadance’s recovery I forgot to consider the risk to the city. I’m such a bad Princess, I could have…”

“Hey, hey, hey…” Shining interrupted Twilight. “It’s alright. Nopony is a perfect royal, myself included. I’ve been keeping an eye on the Crystal Heart. If I saw any signs of trouble, I would have asked for your help.” He smiled at her. Finally a genuine, brotherly smile. I couldn’t help but smile myself.

“When do we need to make our appearance?” I asked and Shining Armor tucked his shoulders back

“If you need more time to rest, that’s fine.” He began walking towards the door again. The shifting light of day caught a magenta crystal vase on the nightstand, illuminating his exit with spectral light. “But I was hoping we could make a statement today. The sooner we address this the better.”

“Today it is then.” I replied. Shining looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead he chose to just nod in agreement.

“Cadance.” Twilight tugged on my hoof. “Please don’t overextend yourself. I would hate for your condition to worsen and for you to get hurt.” Her eyes pleaded with me again. For some reason I didn’t find it comforting this time. I was in a weakened state for sure, but even though I had no idea what my strength was before, I knew I wasn’t fragile. 

“We do it today.” My brow furrowed. “You say I’m a Princess. That means I have a duty to my citizens, and I will not fail them.” 

Twilight and Shining Armor fell silent as they each shared a nod with each other. We were all royalty. We all knew what was required of us whether we felt like it or not. Or at least, they did. I could only guess. 

“I’ll let everypony know that we’re going to make an official announcement from the balcony overlooking the grand plaza.” Shining opened the bedroom door with such a purposeful vigor, my eyebrow rose in intrigue. “I’ll summon Pell to help accompany you to the dressing room.”

“Who’s Pell?” I asked.

“Oh right…” He sighed and took a breath. “This is gonna take some getting used to. Pell, or rather Pellucid, is your personal servant. She can get you anything you need.”

“Servant?” My voice rose more than I wanted it to. “You mean like a slave?” I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips. Twilight and Shining both gasped this time. I apparently had a talent for blurting out social taboos. Shining Armor chose to grin this time while Twilight shook her head disapprovingly. 

“Call her a slave to her face and she may have some choice words for you.” Shining chuckled. It was nice to hear some genuine laughter out of him. “But, no, Pell is paid handsomely for her work here in the castle and she is free to resign anytime she wishes.”

“I see.” I turned to face Twilight and her grumpy expression. “I’m sorry for my weird comments.”

She smiled back at me. It was her turn to fake it this time. 

“It’s alright Cadance.” Her voice was warm and bright again. “You’re just trying to understand how everything works. You have to re-learn your whole life from scratch. I understand.” She rubbed my hoof one more time before standing up. The mattress jostled as she hopped off.

“I’ll set the announcement for two hours from now.” Shining stepped through the door but turned back around to face us again. “I recommend you wash up and get something to eat. If you feel faint at all, let me know and I’ll delay the appearance.” 

“I’ll be fine.” I said in a deep tenor, much harsher than I should have. He left without another word.

“You will say something if you’re not feeling well, right?” Twilight asked as she headed for the door.

“I will.” I lied. I would collapse on that balcony if I had to. For some reason, I couldn’t stand being looked upon as weak. Even if they only had the best intentions and I was physically weak at the moment. I moved my hooves into my lap and even that simple motion felt challenging. 

“Twilight.” I called her name and she turned around halfway out the door. I knew I shouldn’t push the issue. I had already said enough and should just leave well enough alone. I also couldn’t help myself. “When was the last time Princess Celestia allowed the Crystal Empire to disagree with Equestria on something?”

Twilight grinned bitterly at the floor.

“I hope you get better soon, Cadance.” She said and left me alone in the bedroom.



****

> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I spent the next few minutes thinking about crawling out of bed, but unable to find the strength to do so. I wanted to help serve this kingdom I was supposed to be ruling over. Unfortunately walking might prove to be too big of a challenge. Forget Princess duties. Maybe I was more injured than I thought? Physically I felt fatigued, sore, and overall just heavy. Mentally, well, I wish I felt more than… nothing. Guilt was certainly brewing, that’s for sure.

With a small, almost inaudible, creak of the door hinges, another pony walked into the bedroom. She didn’t look at me, she just went straight to the curtains and thrust them open in one motion. I looked away too late as the sunlight burned my eyes. I had been adjusted to a dark room for a week and the new incoming light was way too much. I cried out in a very un-lady-like manner.

“My Lady, it’s so dark in here. How can you even stand it? You need sunlight!” She said as she turned to face me. At least I think she did. I held my hooves over my eyes as they slowly readjusted. 

“Wh-who’s there?” I said through my hooved defense from the light. 

“Oh nopony important.” She commented with a bit of a drawl. “Just the glue that holds this kingdom together.” 

My eyes finally stopped hurting as color and shape returned to the room. I looked at the mare who had invaded my room and almost gasped. She was glowing in the sunlight. Was it just my eyes? No, she was legitimately sparkling like… well crystal. The sunlight danced and sparkled across her coat. It seemed that “Crystal Ponies'' was a literal term and not just a national aesthetic choice. Shining, Twilight, and myself had a more matte pastel coloring. Did that mean none of the royals were Crystal Ponies? Or was this mare the exception and not the rule? Her teal fur was accented by her cream mane that stood up in a diamond shape over her hair. There was no way her hair naturally did that, it must have been styled. Did she style it herself?

“Are you… Pell- Pellu-said?” I struggled to remember the name of the servant Shining Armor had mentioned. The thought of having a servant was still weird to me. 

“Pellucid, my lady.” She bowed to me, extending her head halfway to the floor. “Please call me Pell as you’ve always been terrible at pronouncing my name.” She stood back up with excellent posture. Apparently she was comfortable enough to speak frankly to a Princess, and Shining Armor did say she was well paid. Not a slave. 

“Pell it is then.” I sunk down into the pillow. How many ponies would I have to explain my situation to? How many could I trust? Pell was my servant, certainly she was on the top of that short list to trust? I glanced at the crystal pony before me. Silently judging her. Weighing my options.

Oh, whatever. I needed friends, not enemies.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’ve recently lost my memories.” I swallowed. Was I going to have to break the heart of everyone who knew me one by one? She stared at me blankly for several seconds. I could sense the gears turning in her mind, struggling to find what to say next.

“I’m sure I don't know what you mean by that, my lady.” She gave a knowing nod while claiming not to know.

“What do you mean you don’t know? I just told you my mem-” She interrupted me by gesturing with a slash in the air of her hoof to cut off my words. My servant was willing to interrupt and speak to me any way she pleased.

Okay, I think I liked her now.

“Prince Shining Armor has made it abundantly clear to me that nopony is to know the details of your condition.” She clarified. “Or that you have any condition at all. That includes me and any other castle staff. So with that said,” She smiled brightly at me, “I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re getting at. Don’t you recognize me, my lady?” 

“Uh…” I sat dumbfounded with my mouth agape for a moment or two. “Right, Pell, it’s good to see you again, Pell.”

“Likewise.” She said curt and marched straight to the side of the bed. “Now let’s get you out of this bed and cleaned up. You look like an absolute wreck. Your bedhead is taking on a whole new fashion statement.” She reached out to grab my hoof and I let her. With some reluctance I allowed myself to be pulled to the side of the bed with my bottom hooves dangling off the edge. 

“I-I may not be strong enough to get up just yet.” I stared down at the marble floor. It looked further down than it seemed just a moment ago. The thought of splatting on the ground filled me with dread.

“Well the longer you stay in this bed, the harder it will be to get up.” She stared at me with those bright mint eyes of hers. She looked older than Twilight or Shining Armor. Not ancient by any means. There was a natural strength to the way she held herself with just the slightest bit of aging lines around her eyes. She looked like a pony who had seen and experienced much in her life. 

“What if I fall?” Slight vertigo blurred my vision. 

“I won’t let that happen.” She declared with strict confidence as she wrapped my right hoof around her shoulder. “Let’s take it slow, alright?” She gently tugged on me as she leaned us forward. I felt my weight come down on my hind legs and left front hoof. Weight that I wasn’t ready for. I squeaked as my atrophied muscles gave out, closing my eyes waiting to feel the smack of the cold harsh floor. 

Nothing happened. I stopped moving. I opened my eyes to see that Pell’s grip was holding me in place. She was incredibly strong for a pony her size. She wasn’t small by normal pony standards. However, holding a flopping Alicorn Princess in place from the side like that must have demanded incredible core strength. She had no horn or wings so that meant she was an earth pony. Earth ponies are naturally strong. I knew as much as that. I could remember things, details. Unfortunately, specific ponies, places, and events had been wiped from my mind. I suppose I was fortunate. Had all aspects of my memory been wiped I would have awoken with the mind of a newborn foal. I couldn’t imagine how awkward that would have been for Shining Armor and the entire Crystal Empire. 

“You can do it.” She encouraged me. “Lean on me. Let your legs get used to weight once more. I’ll help you get to the bathing room.” I leaned all of the weight I couldn’t handle myself yet onto her. I let her strength guide me out of the bedroom and into the hallway. The Castle halls were filled with blue and white jagged crystal that served as both decoration and the support beams and rafters for the building. It was an impressive sight to behold with its high gothic arched ceiling and long tapestries. 

We moved slowly down the crystal halls. I got used to the rhythm of our walking cadance, but we were still crawling along compared to the pace even the most meandering of tourists would have moved. Occasionally another Crystal Pony would turn a corner and see us. They shined just like Pell did, proving that she was the norm and the royals were the ones who stood out. Ponies would take one look at us and then turn around to walk a different way, pretending they didn’t see us. Shining Armor’s standing orders must have spread around fast. Looking upon their Princess’s weakened state was not allowed. I wasn’t sure if that was more humiliating than being gawked at. Ultimately, I appreciated the privacy. 

When we got to the bathing chambers, I stared greedily at the giant spa tub built into the floor in the middle of the room. It was crystal because of course it was, and it was already filled to the brim with steaming hot water and flower petals. Bubbles packed along the side walls of the tub. There were probably bath bombs, and epsom salt, and essential oils, and who knows what else in there. All of it designed to rejuvenate my tired and achy skeletal corpse. It was the most inviting thing I’d seen since I had woken up. So basically the best thing in my new life so far. 

Pell sat me down next to the edge and helped me get my hind legs in first. The warmth of the water rushed my senses, sending a rippling shiver of pleasure through my entire body. I squealed indecently at the ecstasy. My face went beet red, but not because of the hot water. 

“If you like the bath that much, wait until you try the cuisine.” Pell just grinned and shook her head.

“The cuisine that I’m totally used to and eat every day.” I grinned back at her.

“Of course, my lady.” She raised an eyebrow back at me. 

“Eat in the tub?” I asked.

“It’s one of your favorite pastimes.” She made sure I could maintain my sitting position before letting go of me. “You’ll need to soak for at least 30 minutes to get the full benefit of the bath. Once you’re done eating, we can get to the scrubbing and rinsing part.”

“I guess I’ll go ahead and eat then.” The suggestion of food made me realize just how hungry I was. I had a week of fasting to catch up on.

“What would you like from the kitchen?” 

“I’ll have the uh…” I felt a little ridiculous. As if I was ordering from a fine restaurant while bathing. The visual of a bath in the middle of a dining hall made my lip curl up into a grin. 

“Surprise me.”

“The usual then?” She looked amused at me. 

“That’s literally the opposite of a surprise.”

“Is it though?” She tilted her head and we both laughed as we played chicken with who was going to bring up the memory elephant in the room. She left me alone in the tub, probably to prepare my meal for me. Or did other servants do that? With the size of this castle, there had to be many servants. Or employees. Yes, that was much better. I was more comfortable with the term employee.

I took a deep breath and leapt into the tub. Mostly just by letting my lower body slide down into it. The sensation of the water enveloped me. It was almost hot enough to be painful. I let another long and arduous groan slip from my mouth. This time I tried to sound less sensual with it. Tried and failed. I swear I heard Pell cackle all the way from the kitchen.

Screw it. I was a Princess. A Princess could do whatever they wanted in their own tub. I dunked my head underwater and let the bath consume me. The warmth on my face melted my troubles away. My starved muscles were soothed by the bath bomb cocktail. I let my mind slip as I exhaled a long stream of air bubbles under the water. I was nowhere and yet I was in my own world. No one could bother me or take me away from this feeling. I could have stayed there forever, drowned in it. 

However, the nagging feeling in the back of my head reminded me that I had things to do. Princess-y things.

I pushed off the bottom of the spa, letting my head and shoulders break the water line. I whipped my mane behind me as a stream of water splashed backwards onto the floor of the bathing room. My long unbound hair came to a rest floating all around me in the bath. Pink, magenta, and cream stripes laid near me like festival streamers. My hair was gorgeous. Maybe that was a requirement of being a royal. You had to have superb hair. I took a deep breath and my senses filled with the smell of lavender, eucalyptus, and coconut. If only being a Princess meant ruling from this tub, then it would be the greatest job in the world. 

Pell returned with a tray of charcuterie. A rainbow platter of cheeses, crackers, flat bread, fruits, veggies, hay, and oats. There were so many varieties of each, some of them I didn't even recognize. 

“Oh my.” I marveled at the intricately laid out platter, sitting on an ornately carved silver tray. 

“I thought we’d start with something light today. I don’t wanna upset your stomach with anything heavy or acidic just yet.” She placed the tray next to where I was lounging so I could easily reach it from in the tub.

“It’s beautiful.” I looked up at her smiling like a filly on her birthday. “Definitely fit for a Princess. Thank you. And thank the kitchen staff for me as well.”

Pell beamed at the compliment.

“I wish more royals and nobles were as complimentary as you.” She took a seat on the floor close to the tub, careful to avoid the water I had splashed. 

“It’s probably just because I’m not used to it like they are.” I clamped my hoof over my mouth. I was openly talking about the forbidden topic again. Pell just ignored it.

“On the contrary, you’ve always said something to that effect every time I’ve served you.” She gestured to the meal. I placed some cheese on a cracker and took a bite. My cheek stung with a rush of flavor that made me flinch before I could finish chewing. I suppose hunger truly was the best spice. I began gorging myself on the platter in not a very Princess-like manner. 

“Slow down, you’re going to upset your stomach.” She frowned at me.

“Mhmm.” I answered, but not slowing down much at all. The food was just too good.

“My lady, I swear on Celestia’s hind sun cheek that if you end up vomiting cheese and crackers on the royal balcony, I will make you clean it up.” She stared daggers at me and I paused my pigging out. I gingerly placed a grape on my tongue and chewed it slowly. “That is if Shining Armor doesn’t have my head for it first.”

My eyes bulged in terror.

“Is he really that strict? That cruel?” I asked, wondering just what sort of a husband I really had. Her brow stiffened as a darkness filled her eyes. 

“Indeed.” She just barely allowed her chin to nod. “I serve the castle on a commuted death row sentence. I could be executed at any moment on the Prince’s whims. Or yours.” She pointed straight at me.

“What on earth? That’s horrible! I would never, and I won’t let him…” Before I could continue Pell burst out laughing. Nearly rocking back on the floor to do so. 

“That’s not funny.” I pouted my lips, embarrassed as a foal made a fool of. 

“Oh, my lady.” She gasped in a breath, still barely able to control her laughter. “If it’s that easy to mess with you, this is going to be one heck of a summer season.” 

She wiped a tear from her eye as I narrowed my gaze on her.

“I order you not to mess with me.” I folded my hooves in protest.

“I refuse.” 

“You can’t refuse your Princess.” I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Execute me then.”

“I said that wasn’t funny.”

“Then why are you smiling?” The side of her lip curled into a devious grin. For a moment, I wasn’t weak, or tired, or scared, or hungry anymore. I felt like myself. Whoever I was supposed to be, I’m pretty sure this was it. Abruptly, I realized why. Pell wasn’t treating me as a broken, memory deficit Princess. This was the first “normal” and unapologetic conversation I’d had since waking up. It was refreshing.

My dinner and soak time came to an end. Pell rushed over with a brush that looked way too firm to me. She brushed all of the tangles out of my hair, ignoring my cries of pain as the brush would stick on a really stubborn clump. 

“Such a noisy filly.” She taunted me.

She stood me up and went to brush my back and hindquarters. My face went bright red.

“I can do that myself.”

She raised an eyebrow at me.

“Normally yes, but until you get your strength back I don’t want you to pull something trying to reach behind yourself.” She began scrubbing and my fur stood on end. “The soaking does most of the job anyway. Just a quick once over will be fine.” 

She was true to her word and went to brush out my tail mane. Once she was done, she helped me out of the bath, toweled me off, and wrapped me in a bright fuzzy blue robe. 

“Aren’t we going to do my hair too?” I asked. She simply gestured to the sink counter. There was a reclined seat in front of a sink with a cushioned opening for a pony to lay their neck. “Oh…” I felt a little silly as we moved over to the sink and she gently laid me down in the recliner. 

She ran cold water over my scalp that took way too long to warm up. Whatever she rubbed into my mane felt really nice on my skin and smelled like shea butter. She lathered, rinsed, and conditioned my hair. Then she wrapped it all up in a towel and began working on my tail mane. The position I had to sit in for my tail was much more awkward and I was happy when it was all said and done. Once I was sufficiently dry we left the bathing room behind to go to an entirely different dressing room. 

“Shouldn’t we clean up the bathing room first?” I turned around to glance back at the spa.

“Castle full of servants.” Pell simply stated. 

“Oh, right…” This was going to take some getting used to. I suppose I should be grateful to be so pampered. Though I wasn’t sure I really deserved any of it. Some strength had returned to my legs and I was able to walk on my own again. Or perhaps the bath had soothed the muscles into bliss. Pell strode next to me as more ponies now filled the crystal halls. It was getting closer to the announcement time so there must have been a lot of preparations to get done. Fortunately, nobody was avoiding us anymore now that I didn’t walk like a newborn gazelle. They would smile and bow their heads to me as they passed us. Some of them verbally greeted me. I felt like a celebrity. I was a celebrity, and I was going to have to get accustomed to that. These ponies were counting on me and I hadn’t the first clue on how to rule them. 

I was relieved to reach the privacy of the dressing room. There was a wall length mirror with a shining marble countertop to go with it. Not every material in the castle was made of crystal but the marble certainly shined like it. I wondered if ponies often got headaches from so much bright reflected light. There were racks of clothes littered all across the room in a well sorted, although chaotic fashion. Most of them were some kind of dress. They were all sorts of styles and shapes. A vivid spectrum of colors all, predictably, crystal themed. If crystal wasn’t so darn gorgeous, it would probably get old really fast. Maybe it would for me anyway. 

I sat down on a wooden stool while Pell brought one of the dresses to me. It was sapphire blue that was speckled with stars that flashed in and out as you turned it in the light. Kind of like sequins but thicker. It poofed in the butt like a petticoat and had jagged magenta strips at the bottom that looked like layered gem swords. 

“This is what you usually wear for formal announcements.” She held up the dress so I could see all of its parts. The collar was a deeper blue that accented the chest area in a sharp “V.” 

“It’s decorative, but a little too involved for dances or balls. Not a lot of space to maneuver while wearing it. However, you’ll mostly just be standing upright so it’ll be a nice spectacle and should match Shining Armor’s suit quite well.”

I nodded as I studied the dress. I didn’t have any idea what was fashionable, but it certainly looked nice. 

“Would you like to wear this one or something else?” She asked. I just shrugged and she rolled her eyes.

“Just make all the outfit decisions for me, Pell. Is that what you’re saying?” She raised an eyebrow at me. 

“Please?” I put my hooves together in a prayer like gesture. “It all looks fine to me.”

“Very well, my lady.” She sighed. “You’re lucky that I’ve been doing this for so long.”

She helped squeeze me into the dress, which was more challenging than I expected. It was a good thing I could move on my own or we probably would have needed more servants and a construction crane just to dress me. Once it was on, I gave myself a look in the mirror and gasped.

I looked stunning.

It sounded vain to think, yet I was finally starting to look like royalty. Pell sat me back down on the stool and began working on my hair. She braided it in several separate strands, wrapping them around my ears like a headpiece. She managed to separate the braids into two chords of magenta and cream, and two chords of pink and cream. She pinned gemstones that hung like earrings into the strands and placed a golden tiara on the top of my scalp. The center of the crown had a baby blue heart shaped gem on it. 

“I like the blue heart.” I finally said after a long stint of silence. I just wanted to let her work and the comment sounded dumb to me as soon as I said it.

“I imagine you would.” She smiled at me through the mirror. “It’s a replica of the Crystal Heart.”

“Oh yeah, the thing my magic uses to keep us safe.” A dark thought came to my mind. “How is it still working? What if it stops working?” 

She held her hoof to her lips indicating that I shouldn’t be so loud.

“You’ll have to ask the other royals and the unicorn magic experts. I’m not sure exactly how it works myself.” She shook her head. “But I do know that as long as we have your essence, the Crystal Heart cannot fail. That’s how we know you are our Princess. Why we will serve you for as long as we live.” 

The weight of her confidence hit me. Somehow I was operating this magical artifact. Or was I? I didn’t feel like I was doing anything or casting any spell. It must have worked passively with my “essence,” just like she said. 

“Thank you.” I smiled back at her, looking at my royal visage.

“For what, exactly?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

“Everything.” I was at a loss for words. Hopefully I wouldn’t be so awkward at the public gathering. What was I even supposed to say? “When I woke up…” I glanced at the dressing room door to make sure it was closed and we were alone. “Nothing was right. I was blank, empty. Thank you for helping me to feel right again. At least a little bit.”

“It is my duty and my pleasure, my lady.” She bowed her chin. “But I should think your family will do a better job of that than me.”

“That’s the weird thing.” I shook my head, being careful not to mess up my intricate hair design. “I don’t feel connected to them. And that just seems shameful.”

“Give it time, Cadance.” She said my name for the first time. For once, it actually sounded like my name. “You royals are a very eccentric lot. Soon you’ll be reminded of the bond that makes you family.”

“That’s what Shining Armor said.” I bit the side of my bottom lip.

“He is a wise and patient stallion. You chose him well.”

I looked away from her feeling ashamed.

“I chose him once. A version of me did. But what if I don’t love him? What if I never remember how?” I expected her to chide me for bringing up the memories again. She simply stared lost in thought.

“You will.” she rubbed my shoulder.

“How do you know?”

“I just know.” She grinned. Before I could respond a knock came at the dressing room door.

“Come in.” Pell answered for me. A unicorn attendant entered the dressing room and bowed. He stood stiff and proper. He had the dignified stillness of a statue. 

“Hello, Jadiz.” Pell greeted him. “What brings you here?”

“Pellucid.” He nodded to acknowledge her, before indicating to me. “My lady, Shining Armor sent me to collect you. It is time for the announcement.” He stood tall and regal with a calm expression on his face. Palace staff all seemed to have this royal air to them. I only hoped I could at least match it.

I grimaced a bit when he said “collect you.” Not the choice of words I would have used. Maybe those were his words and not Shining Armor’s. 

“Then let's get on with it.” I said firmly and stood up to my full height. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time, and a Princess stared back at me. 





****

> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stood on the balcony overlooking the Grand Crystal Plaza. The castle was by far the tallest and largest structure in the city. Our viewpoint was well above the rooftops of the shops and houses that spread across the landscape. The roads of the city made a star shape around the castle, with roads shooting out from each of the six points of the star until they reached the end of the city. A metropolis built in a perfect circle. Everything was symmetrical: the star roads, the building patterns of each block, and the circle. I was standing at the epicenter of a giant crystal snowflake flanked by farm lands and mountains. 

The Crystal ponies packed the streets in front of and below our balcony. Waves of bodies, shining in the daylight as their collective crystal visage illuminated around them. Their figures twinkled and sparkled below me. It was like staring at the star sequins on my dress. As if I could stargaze by looking down at the earth. 

I drew in a breath. I wasn't sure how long I'd been holding my breath, but the air I inhaled was long overdue. Heart racing and a little light headed, I looked over at Shining Armor. His suit was indeed as intricate as my dress with a matching color palette. I wondered if Pell had coordinated with Shining Armor’s servants. 

I didn’t have time to dwell on his appearance further when he began to address the gathered crowd. He spoke to them with a booming voice. His shoulders squared back as his confident tone barked down to his subjects below. I knew instantly, without a doubt in my mind: He was their rock, their prince, a strong foundation on which this beautiful kingdom could depend.

So, what did that make me? Certifiable arm candy?

He danced around the facts of my week-long absence, giving excuses for why I couldn’t make appearances or appointments. I hung my head looking at the tiny index card in my hoof. Shining Armor had prepared a speech for me. Just a few placid sentences saying I was fine and everything was ok. Pretty much backing up what he was already saying, although his speech had already gone on much longer than mine would. 

I sighed discontented and looked over at Twilight. Her dress matched her hair colors and had a yellow sash that elegantly hung around the back of her neck and hide. It was only the three of us on the royal balcony. I guess that’s why it was called the “royal balcony.” Only royals stood up here for these speeches. No advisors, no servants. Just us with our place high above the common folk below. It implied that everything was on our shoulders. Or our fault, should things go wrong. In better times, perhaps it implied we did everything ourselves and deserved all the credit. I doubted that royals would be able to accomplish much without advisors.

Twilight beamed with delight as her brother spoke. She didn’t even have a handful of sentences to read out like I did. Her job was just to smile and wave. I didn’t even notice that Shining Armor had called for me until Twilight started unsubtly jerking her head in his direction. If I didn’t respond soon, she was going to strain her neck. I walked forward until I was at the edge of the balcony next to Shining. There was a golden see through guard rail with hearts and crystals thinly carved between each gilded post. Still, it was nerve racking to look down from the edge.

Shining put his hoof around me and I did my best to hide my shudder. I knew he was going to do it. He told me he was going to. We needed to keep up appearances and I agreed to it. That didn’t stop it from being uncomfortable. I took all of my pent up awkwardness and aimed it as a smile in his direction. A momentary twitch in his expression told me I wasn’t doing a very good job. Fortunately we were far enough away from our audience that it probably went unnoticed.

Probably.

I buried my eyes into the index card again and spoke my first line. My voice was much softer and less confident than his.

“Greetings my beloved Crystal Ponies. It is wonderful to see you all, and your smiling faces again.” That sentence was fine. Probably better than what I would have thought of. However, the next sentence filled me with such seething rage that I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud:

I’m sorry for being so narrowly focused on my affairs this past week, I guess sometimes a mare just can’t help herself. *pause for laughter.*

He actually wrote “pause for laughter” on the card. What was this sentence supposed to say about me? That I was a selfish ditz who just forgot she had other duties for a week? He tried to make it all sound important during his speech, but this was just too much. Maybe the old Cadance was just a grinning twit, though I hoped not. I certainly wasn’t going to play that part. These ponies deserved to hear the truth from their leaders.

I flipped the index card over and focused my gaze outward.

“I appreciate my husband…” I put a bit too much attitude on ‘husband.’ “...trying to soften the blow for you all, however the truth is I was attacked.”

A collective gasp floated up from below. I watched as thousands of faces went from pleasantly blissful to outright panic. Shining Armor’s grip on me tightened.
 
“What are you doing?” He whispered through forced smiling teeth. I responded by removing his arm from my side and taking another step forward. My face was out over the rail now as I ignored the growing knot in my stomach at the plunging drop below. I had wings, why did I need to fear heights?

“Queen Chrysalis made an attempt on my life last week. I’ve been resting and recovering from my injuries ever since.” The crowd murmured and I could feel their fear lurking its way up the balcony. “I assure you that I have recovered back to my full strength and that the magic of the Crystal Heart, my magic, was never in danger of running out. I’m sorry that we kept you all in the dark for so long. We didn't want any unnecessary worrying while I was recovering.”

If Shining Armor wanted me to bluff for the sake of the Crystal Ponies, that was fine by me. I would bluff in my own way. The side of my cheek curled into a confident grin.

“But if you think for a moment that I got beat up by Chrysalis, well…” my grin widened, “you should have seen her after the fight.” I stood up on my hind legs and gave a quick one two air punch with my hooves. Finally there was a bit of real laughter to pause for as the panic of the moment subsided. 

“This attack on our Kingdom will not stand.” I removed all levity from my voice as the crowd collectively stood up straighter. “We are going to let Queen Chrysalis know that an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us. I will not allow her to harm anyone else. I will not permit her to spread terror and dismay amongst any of you. Look to the Crystal Heart. Look upon all of the love and friendship that we hold dear. For it is not maintained by my magic alone, no.” I shook my head fervently. Children were present in the crowd. Some of them seated on their parent’s backs holding small flags with our national emblem on them.

“That strength that you can see and feel.” I gestured above me to where the Crystal Heart was located. The castle was propped up on four massive bases, creating a foyer underneath that was open. Ponies could pass freely beneath the castle. There were probably an overflow of ponies underneath the castle as well. This unique castle structure turned it’s peak into a tall spire that rose far higher than any other structure in the capital. The Crystal Heart was all the way at the top of that spire. Floating under its own mysterious magic power, humming and reverberating in its open air chamber. It was the subtle background music of the Crystal Capital. They had shown it to me before the ceremony started. I was in awe of its massive presence while being small in size. I knew that I wasn’t the one holding it there together. I couldn’t be. It must have been the Crystal Ponies. Some magic they collectively possessed. This part of my bluff I actually believed. 

“That strength belongs to you.” I continued convincing myself as much as them. “And as long as you stick together, it cannot be broken. I promise you all that our response to this so-called Queen will be a swift justice. I promise to keep our kingdom safe for you, and our children’s generation, and for their children as well.” I wasn’t sure exactly where this bravado or where these words were coming from. I just let it flow out of me. If I was going to look like a Princess, then I certainly should act like one as well. 

The crowd was antsy now. Ponies were stomping their hooves and nodding to one another. I had their attention. Now to close it out.

“Thank you for your attention this afternoon. If any new developments occur, we will keep you informed. Long live the Crystal Heart! Long live the Crystal Empire!” I held my hoof down and out towards them as I shouted. They responded back to me in kind.

“Long live the Crystal Heart! Long live the Crystal Empire!” Their words echoed in my ear as I turned to leave the balcony. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep up a brave face. Shining Armor’s face looked like he was about to have a litter of puppies. Twilight was hyperventilating and gesturing her hoof from her chest to out in front of her over and over again. It looked like some sort of ritual to calm herself, although it didn’t seem like it was helping much. Apparently I would need to keep up my brave face a little longer for them. 






****






“Why did you tell them about the attack? Are you trying to start a mass panic?” My dear husband verbally tore into me once we were inside the antechamber for the balcony.

“They didn’t sound panicked to me.” I stood my ground staring him down as hard as he was glaring at me.

“But they may.” He stomped his hoof like a petulant child. “Now that they know you are vulnerable, they could…” 

“I am not vulnerable!” I interrupted him. He blushed for a moment and looked away.

“You know what I meant.” He looked to Twilight, probably to back him up. She just stared at the floor shaking her head.

“Do I?” That drew his attention back to me. “I’m starting to think that you think I’m some delicate little flower that has to be protected.”

"I never said anything like that." He sat down in one of the comfy office chairs, crossing his hooves in protest. 

"You don't have to. It's written all over your face." I pointed to Twilight instead of him. "And hers."

Twilight’s chin shot up. She looked positively stricken by my sudden accusation. 

"I don't think you're weak." She tried to hide her pouting lip. 

"Then let me be a Princess to my ponies." I sighed, letting out my pent up frustration through my hurried breath. "If I'm a leader, then let me lead. I don’t want to be some figurehead that just does what she’s told, wears frilly dresses, and reads pre-written speeches off of index cards. I have a voice. And, clearly, they want to hear it."

I let that thought hang in the air for a moment before Shining Armor eventually chimed back in.

"You're right." I blinked a few times at his sudden acceptance. "For what it's worth, I wasn’t trying to treat you like a fragile doll. I was just worried you were still hurt, and then worried you wouldn't know what to do or say, and then…" He shook his head a few times, "...I don’t know. I guess I just let my worries get away with me. You've always been able to handle yourself just fine with or without me, and now shouldn't be any different."

I started to smile until his eyes shot arrows straight at me again. His tone shifted to harsh once more.

"However." He cleared his throat. "If you want to be heard as a Princess, that's great, but don't forget that I am also Prince of this land. I get a say as well." He grunted a bit as he adjusted in his seat. I took the opportunity to sit down across from him at the fine mahogany table. 

"I just thought that the Crystal Ponies deserved to know the truth. I believe they can handle it." I neatly folded my hooves in front of me. Very polite and regal. I suppose royalty was part of my instincts even if I had no conscious memory. 

"Be that as it may." His voice relaxed just a little bit. "By going against what I said, you made me look like a fool or worse, a liar. Whatever decisions we make, we have to be on the same page. We have to show a united front."

Twilight calmly and quietly sat in the middle of the oval shaped table, splitting the distance between us. 

"You're right." I nodded. "I should have said something, instead of pivoting on the spot."

"So from now on we make decisions together?" He tilted his head at me. His sly grin looked cute at that angle. 

"Together." I agreed. 

An adolescent squeaking noise drew both of our gazes to Twilight.

"I'm so happy." Twilight clapped her hooves together rapidly. The joy on her face was unending. "I knew we would all come together eventually."

"Twilight Sparkle, the eternal optimist." I grinned at her, holding my cheek up with my hoof on the table. A bit less regal than a moment ago.

"As Princess of Friendship." She proudly pointed to her chest. "It's my job to be optimistic." 

"Somehow I think you're mixing business with pleasure." I stuck my tongue out at her. She giggled back like a school filly. 

"Cadance." Shining Armor looked worried again. "About your comments on the Crystal Heart, are you able to access your love magic?"

In response I activated my magic, levitating the crystal centerpiece on the table. I could feel the warmth of the glowing magic coming off of my horn.

"I can cast magic like a normal unicorn." I began. His face looked hopeful, but it wouldn’t last long. "But I have no idea how to access the love magic you described to me."

"That's why you said the Crystal Heart is maintained by all the Crystal Ponies combined. Do you really think that's true?" He watched carefully as I set down the crystal piece. 

"It has to be true." I shrugged. "Cause I'm not casting anything and the heart seems to be functioning fine."

"That makes sense." He nodded at Twilight who shared his pensive look. "However, I'm worried it may not be as strong without your magic guiding it."

"You worry too much." I grinned at him, stretching the side of my cheek. He returned it.

"Well I'm gonna go meet with Captain Flash Sentry on what security changes we need to make. Chrysalis is still out there." He stood up. "Do you want to join me? We're a team, after all.”

I stood up as well. I felt the dangling pieces on my hair shift as my legs rubbed against the rough interior of my dress.

"Yeah I do, but let me change out of my formal wear first. It's starting to chafe." I tugged on the fabric where it was particularly bothering me. 

Shining couldn’t hide the surprise from his face. He glanced at Twilight subtly but I noticed.

“What?” I asked glaring at both of them.

“You’re much more… rambunctious.” He replied softly.

I stood up, not bothered to smooth the wrinkled lines of my dress. “Must’ve been my week long nap. I’ll go change.”

"Fair enough. We'll wait for you in the west wing on the 4th floor." He turned to exit the antechamber into the rest of the castle. “You do know where that is right?” His head turned back to me as he grinned out of the side of his mouth. 

“I’ll find it.” I grinned back.

He continued on out the open archway. Each step was sharp and graceful like a well trained military officer. Then I remembered that Twilight told me he was military before he was a prince. I certainly could see what any mare would see in him.

"I have to go back to Equestria soon." Twilight said as she stood up. "But before I do, I'd really like to spend some quality time with you." She walked over and took my hoof into hers. Twilight had this demeanor that could instantly disarm me. 

"I'd like that." I squeezed her hoof back. "When do you have to leave?"

She shook her head.

"No particular time. But I can't just stay in the Crystal Empire. I have to get back to my own duties."

"I understand. You have your own kingdom to attend to."

"That's just it." She let go of me. "I wanted to stay until your memories came back, but…"

I pulled her hoof into my chest, and she looked up at me with her hopeful and youthful eyes. 

"Let's not worry about the past and make some new memories instead before you go."

She beamed at me, then blushed and turned away.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well," She hung on the word for a long time. "There's this little rhyme that you and I always do. You taught it to me when I was a little foal and you were my sitter.”

"How does it go?" I asked and she turned beet red.

"You might think it's dumb." She bit her bottom lip.

"Why would I think it's dumb?"

"Because once, when Chrysalis was imitating you, I didn’t know and tried to do the rhyme with her. She ignored me and I felt stupid and maybe the dance is stupid and childish…"

I shushed her by putting my hoof on her lips. Twilight and Shining had told me about when Chrysalis tried to replace me at my own wedding. It must have been a painful memory for everyone.

"Show me. I promise I won't laugh or think it's dumb." Whatever this little dance was, it made her think of the Cadance she had lost. The Cadance she wanted to get back. Maybe I could give her just a little bit of that back until my memories returned. 

“Ok!” She nodded at me with the excitement of a child given permission to play their favorite game. She began by galloping in place.

“Sunshine, sunshine…” She dropped prone on the floor with her hooves over her eyes. “Ladybugs awake…” She pulled her hooves off her face to peek-a-boo at me. Then she shot up and pantomimed a patti-cake exchange. I was probably supposed to participate but I missed my cue. “Clap your hooves and…” She spun around, stuck her rear in the air, and wiggled it. “Do a little shake!” 

Her butt was right in my face and it was all I could do to stop myself from chuckling. I promised not to, but the booty wiggle looked so ridiculous. Although, I had to admit it looked like fun. Especially for a kid.

Twilight sat sheepishly on the ground with her back to me. She gripped her shoulder as she turned her head in my direction. She could barely meet my eyes.

“I-it’s dumb isn’t it? I’m probably too old to be…” She started to say but I began galloping in place just like her. My dress was going to chafe and dig into me with all this jumping around, but it would be worth it. For Twilight.

“Like this?” I asked and began the rhyme before she could answer. “Sunshine, sunshine ladybugs awake.” I did all the motions as best I could remember them. She spun around to face me as I hopped back up for the next part. “Clap your hooves…” She clapped my hoof and we turned to face away at the same time. “And do a little shake!” We said the last part in unison as I shook my flank as hard as I could. I imagine Twilight did the same behind me. We turned to face each other again and neither of us could hold it. We bursted out laughing, falling on the floor unable to keep our balance. Pell was probably going to be angry if I damaged this dress, but I didn’t care. I’d deal with her later.

“I’m sorry.” I said in between laughing. “I promised I wouldn’t laugh.”

“No, no it’s fine.” Twilight giggled right back at me. “That was perfect.” We each sighed as we collected ourselves to stand back up. 

“That’s an adorable dance, but very ridiculous for grown mares to do.” I smiled wide and, for a moment, I wasn’t thinking about my memories or worries. “I love it.”

“Yes, very regal and dignified for a pair of royal Princesses.” Twilight chuckled again. I watched as her face slowly fell. In a moment she was much more serious, yet still held my gaze with her hopeful smile. “I missed you, Cadance.”

My heart leaped when she said it. It made me feel so much joy. I felt like family. Then the guilt hit me.

“I wish I could say the same.” I looked away for a second before forcing myself to meet her eyes again. “But I’m really glad I met you.”

Her eyes widened as her ears tucked back beside her head. Her smile consumed her expression until she was glowing with delight.

“I couldn’t ask for anything more.” She sniffled a little bit. Holding back tears through misty eyes.

“Yeah we could. We could ask for my dang memories back.” I laughed again.

“Well, yes, I…” She flustered as she began back pedaling. “Obviously I want your memories back, but for now I just meant that I really appreciate…” She started over explaining until I rubbed my hoof over her intricately styled mane, messing it up a bit. “Hey!” She said, pulling back before I could damage her royal hairdo any further.

“You’re too serious.” I stuck my tongue out at her. 

Twilight was about to say something back until Shining Armor came tearing into the antichamber.

“There’s been an attack!” He stared right at me as my heart plummeted into my stomach. “The Changelings just hit one of our rural villages.” His eyes darted to Twilight and then back to me.

“Chrysalis.” I said through gritted teeth. This Changeling Queen had attacked me, kidnapped me, stolen my memories, my family, my life, and now she was attacking my Kingdom. 

I hated her. Seemed strange to hate someone so easily. But I did. I hated her with every ounce of malice I could muster.

“Let’s go.” I demanded and the three of us trotted off without another word.




****

> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I entered the Hive, still reeling from our most recent hunt. The love energy from the ponies we attacked was so rich and filling. It was like the most tender and juicy meal you could ever eat, but we sucked it up through magic instead. The faces of those terrified ponies were fresh in my mind. I could still hear them screaming, begging me to stop. I felt guilty for what I did to them. I watched as their terror turned to curses and then turned to silence. 

“Mother?”

I tugged on her arm just below her shoulder and she turned to face me. I wasn’t tall enough to reach any higher on her.

“What is it, Thorax? Did you not get enough love to eat?”

“No Mother, I got plenty, it's just…”

I was scared of how to word it. I didn’t want her angry at me.

“Why do we attack the ponies? Why do we have to feed on them?”

“Oh, Thorax.”

She rubbed the back of my mane as I leaned into her touch, relieved she wasn’t mad.

“You are such a nice boy. So very kind. But you must understand that the ponies are our enemies. They have been for millenia.”

“But why?”

“They shun us because of our curse. We feed on their love because we need it to survive. And they hate us for it.”

Her eyes went cold and dark as she spoke.

“A long time ago, our people tried to reconcile and make peace. And they threw it back in our face. They called us ‘wrong’ and ‘abominations.’ Even if we didn’t feed on them, they wouldn’t accept us. They would let us starve and perish while they slept soundly in their cozy beds.”

Her face relaxed as she calmed down, making me feel less anxious.

“So don’t feel bad when you drain them. Know that their love is our love. It belongs to us, and we must harvest it by force.”

I looked around the hive. My brothers and sisters ducked in and out of tunnels that were dug into the walls and ceiling. There was always a constant buzz of Changelings moving. Even during sleep time there were Changelings who kept watch and slept in the day instead.

“We could never be friends?”

I looked up at Mother who scowled at me, sending a shiver down my back.

“That’s their word. They use it to manipulate others, and get their way. Don’t use that word.”

I thought for a moment. Something about this didn’t make sense to me.

“Then what are we? What are us hivelings to each other if not friends?”

She smiled wide at me, revealing her massive fangs.

“We are family. Nothing matters except family.”

“Yes Mother.”




****




By the time we got to the small farm village on the outskirts of the Crystal Empire, the sun was beginning to set. We had stripped off our formal wear, leaving it in a pile on the floor in the royal hallways. Twilight and I had taken to the skies, carrying Shining Armor between the two of us. It was no easy task. Even with the flight of two massive alicorn wingspans, his bulky weight was a strain on us. We refused to wait for the patrol regiment to join us, despite the Captain’s protestations. It was fortunate that I still knew how to fly. They say you never forget once you learn. Apparently that was true even if you forgot learning it in the first place.

The village houses were made of wood and straw. A far cry from the stone and crystal structures of the capital city. The town was quaint and quiet. It had a beauty and charm of its own that was less grand, yet more peaceful than its urban counterpart. 

It was the creepiest thing I had ever seen.

Quiet was too kind of a word to describe it. This place was dead silent. A stone well stood in the center of the town square, which should have been the richest social hub. There should have been ponies going about their business; closing up shops for the night and preparing for supper. There should have been some kind of movement, some sort of sound.

There was nothing.

Occasionally a breeze would whistle and rustle the trees. What would normally have been a background noise sounded like thunder in contrast to the eerily silent town square. The more I looked at the peaceful houses and shops, the more unsettled they made me. 

“Where is everypony?” Twilight’s voice echoed what I was feeling.  

“I don’t know.” Shining Armor’s expression looked as hard as stone. He checked up and down and all around the empty town. A military stallion at heart, he must have been looking and listening for the enemy to re-engage and ambush us on approach. 

No attacks came, and no one stirred from our arrival as Shining knocked politely on one of the houses. A crystal wind chime dangled over the door frame, and sang some dulcet tones as a breeze blew by. No one came to answer the door.

"Did they all evacuate?" Twilight asked as a chill ran up my spine. Something was wrong yet familiar about this scene. I must have seen or felt something like this before in my old memories. 

"Maybe," Shining Armor shrugged as we walked to the next house over. "But how did they leave so fast?" He rapped on their door as well. The houses were mostly the same shades of beige and light brown. A few crystal decorations here or there was all there was to remind you what empire you were in. 

"Wouldn’t we have seen them leaving on our approach?" I said. Twilight bit her lower lip and gave me a slow nod. "There's no way they all traveled further than we could see from the air. Even if they were chased away in a panic." 

"So where are they?" Twilight asked as we all stared at the front door of the second house Shining had knocked on. No one came to answer this house either.

"Open the door." I said as I swallowed hard. I didn't want to see what was on the other side, but we had to do something. 

"That's a violation of their privacy rights." Shining said, not sounding too confident in his own objection.

"I'll write them an apology letter later." No one laughed at my joke as Shining Armor tried the door.

“It’s locked.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

“Unlock it.” I replied before he could respond. A faint smirk appeared on the side of his mouth.

“So now we’re breaking and entering?” His amused glare almost made me forget how anxious I was.

“No you’re breaking and entering.” I pointed at him. “Twilight and I are watching.” 

“You two better be good character witnesses for me at my trial.” He took a step back from the door, angling his shoulder toward it. After a few taps of his hoof on the gravel walkway, he thrust himself into the door. A piercing crack echoed throughout the sleepy town. I watched as the door burst open in one hit. The deadbolt lock sent splinters flying as it shattered the part of the door frame it was housed in. I knew Shining was strong, but seeing his strength in action was impressive. He had exerted a large amount of force concentrated in a single push. It was enough to get the job done while doing the least amount of damage possible. He wasn’t some unruly brute. He was precise and calculated, in addition to being built like a truck.

An elegant brute.

“I could have tried to pick the lock with magic.” Twilight mentioned a few steps behind us. She didn’t look too eager to enter the humble home. Shining looked at the wood pieces splitting out of the door frame and blushed. 

“We’ll remember that for the next house.” I said with a sinking feeling about the task ahead of us. What none of us had thought (or wanted) to mention was that the only explanation for the empty town was that everyone was inside their homes or business.

And they weren’t moving.

We paused for a moment. Once again it was so quiet I could feel the pulsing of my own heart. The door was open, exposing the house to the elements. Twilight and Shining Armor were staring at each other. It looked like they were communicating telepathically.

Could they do that? No, I lost my memories, but I still knew skills like magic and flight. I would be aware of telepathy magic if it was available. They had just been siblings their whole life. 

“After you, Princess of Friendship?” He asked her.

“Oh no, no…” She frowned at the open threshold to the house. “It’s your empire, I’d hate to impose.” She gestured to the door. We could see the living room coffee table and couch from outside. 

“I’ve already broken the law.” He folded his hooves in protest. “The least you could do is go in first. With your diplomatic immunity and all.”

I rolled my eyes so hard I could feel my eyelids involuntarily blink.

“I’ll go.” I said and stepped over the threshold. It was a quaint little home with hardwood floors and floral decorating. The air was stale and warmer than outside. I could feel the residual heat from an intense magical discharge. Someone had cast something powerful in here, and I was pretty sure I knew what sort of spell it was. At least I did before.

“Nice place.” Twilight said from behind me. I did my best not to jump at the sudden noise. “Reminds me of my first house in Ponyville.” We were all standing in the living room now. A red throw rug sat in the middle underneath the coffee table. I checked our walking path to make sure we weren’t tracking dirt into these poor pony’s houses. 

“I guess we’ll check the kitch-” Shining began, but I interrupted. 

“They’re in the bedroom.” I spoke automatically and stepped towards a short hallway next to the living room.

“How do you know?” Shining asked me.

“I just do.” The hallway was darker than the rest of the house. All I could hear was our hoofsteps as we inched to the bedroom. The air got warmer the closer I got to the door at the end of the hall. It was ajar so I pushed it open with my hoof. 

My mouth dropped at what I saw. Just inches from the door was a pony standing as still as a statue. His body was crystal, but he was so fogged and dulled he looked like smoked glass. His face was aimed straight at me, and his empty eyes stared so far into me I felt a deep embarrassment in the core of my essence. His fully dilated pupils covered so much of his eye there was barely any room for a white rim around his irises. His mouth was cracked agape and drool gathered on his lower lip. I watched in horror as a bit of it overflowed and fell onto the bedroom carpet. 

He kept staring at me. His gaze was as blank as my memories. There was no will or feeling in his eyes. Even statues have some life in them, granted by the artist. This stallion was robbed of even that. A living hump of dead weight. He refused to move except for his slow breathing, which was the only thing that suggested he was alive. I wanted to run away. I wanted him to leave. I wanted to take to the sky, fly far away, and never come back. Anything but this. It was so wrong. Who could have done something like this?

“Cadance!”

Shining Armor’s voice cut into my thoughts as I realized I had been screaming the whole time since I opened the door. 

“It’s alright, we’re ok. Nopony is hurt.” He assured me as I gasped in an overdue breath. He stood behind me in the doorway. Not only had I been screaming out of control, I had blocked the doorway as well. 

“We’re ok.” He repeated. He offered me his hoof, careful not to touch me without permission. “Are you ok?” He asked and I took his hoof into mine. He drew in a quick breath. I don’t think he expected me to let him touch me, and I had eagerly accepted his hoof hold. I felt Twilight’s hoof on my back as well. My family was here for me. 

“We go in together?” He asked and I gave one slow nod down and back up. We walked around either side of the statue pony, raising our held hooves in the air. We passed with our hooves over his head like some sort of ballroom dance, careful not to disturb him as we did. Twilight followed suit once we were fully inside.

The bedroom window was shattered, and shards scattered all over the bed and carpet. I glanced over the edge of the bed and nearly had the same reaction as when I entered the room. There was a mare laying on top of the glass shards and broken window frame. She had a pool of blood under her shoulder.

“She’s hurt!” I yelled, careful to make sure I didn’t lose control of my voice again. Shining Armor rushed over, still careful enough not to cut himself on any of the glass. I gave him space as he knelt down next to her. He felt her pulse and inspected a gash in the middle of her shoulder, just above her chest. 

“She’s breathing ok.” He reassured me. I heard Twilight release a sigh of relief behind me. “Most of this blood is from her shoulder wound and it’s already clotted. She has some other minor cuts, but it doesn’t look like a dangerous amount of blood was lost.” He gently picked her up off the floor to move her somewhere without glass. Twilight and I helped keep her steady as we set her down on the other side of the bed on the floor again. There were too many glass shards to risk laying her on the bed. 

“What happened to them, exactly?” I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to my own question. I distracted myself by going to the closet and pulling out a fresh linen. “How does the Changeling magic work?” I began shredding the sheet with my magic to use as bandage strips. I suppose I would have to mention the torn linens in my apology letter for this home invasion. 

“The changelings broke in through the window." Shining explained. "The wife was struck by the glass and wood paneling, probably knocking her out instantly. It looks like the husband was completely drained of his love before he could escape his own bedroom."

Twilight bandaged the poor mare's chest wound while I helped hold her in place with my hooves. 

"Is that why he looks…" I swallowed trying to think of how to phrase it, "...like that?"

"Yes." Twilight said. Her face hardened as she gathered pillows to rest the unconscious mare's head on. "We've seen this before. What Changeling love magic does to the victim it leaves behind."

"Can they be healed?" My mind was flush with anger and questions. How could any creature commit such an act upon another? 

"They will heal." Shining Armor looked right at me. "It takes some time, but eventually the capacity to love will return and they'll be able to feel again."

"How long does it take?" My question was met with silence. Shining and Twilight shared that pensive sibling glance that I had gotten all too used to. 

"Uh… are you gonna answer my question or…" I began until Shining Armor finally spoke up.

"It depends on the pony. It takes weeks at minimum, sometimes months or the better part of a year. However…" 

Shining was interrupted by a desperate gasp. Twilight and I shifted in response to a violent movement right beneath us. The mare stood up sharply. She sat up on the floor and thrusted her hooves out, knocking me away.

"Changelings!" She screamed as her voice cracked. "The Changelings are here!" She thrashed her arms about, nearly clocking Twilight on the side of her head. The Princess of Friendship ducked it with little effort. The cute little foal that I apparently baby sat had seen combat before.

"It’s all right, it's all right." I declared, holding my hooves up to show I wasn’t a threat. "They're gone now, you're ok."

Her wild flailing slowed down as she turned to face me. Her eyes focused, recognizing me as she came to her senses.

"Princess!" She cried and tried to stand up to bow to me. Unfortunately, her chest wound got the better of her. She stopped her bow halfway to yelp in pain and grip her bandage.

"Calm down, please." Was the only thing I could think to say. “You’re injured.”

She rubbed her hoof on the makeshift bandage of her own bedsheets.

“You bandaged me, my lady?” Her eyes glistened as she looked humbly upon her ruler. I glanced over to Twilight.

“We both did.” I said, unable to meet her hopeful gaze. She craned her neck to see Twilight and gasped.

“Princess Twilight!” She tried to bow again, and was stopped by her injury. 

Twilight placed her hoof underneath the earth pony’s chin. She gently guided the young mare’s gaze to meet her warm smile.

“Please, rest easy.” Twilight’s voice was like a warm butter. “We can skip the formalities for now. It’s more important that you’re ok.” Twilight looked like an angel comforting a mortal being. She seemed so natural and well spoken in her role as Princess. I was supposedly her elder, her teacher. Yet here she was, so much more elegant and regal with her subjects.

“Thank you, my lady.” The mare thought for a moment and turned to me. “My ladies.” She started to bow again, but stopped herself. Her nervous side smile made me giggle. The levity was short lived as her expression froze and I noticed she was looking over my shoulder. 

“Harvest?” She asked as a cold reality sank into her expression. She scrambled past me, holding her shoulder as she approached the deathly still stallion by the bedroom door. Her orange crystal coat glowed in the low light next to the faded amber of what must have been her husband.

“Oh Harvest, what did they do to you?” She held his cheeks in her hoof and stared into his eyes. The dead dull eyes that had terrified me when I first saw them. She grabbed a shred of the sheet I had torn off the floor and wiped his drool covered mouth. She lovingly dabbed his jaw and cheeks until most of it was dry. Then brushed back some of his mane that was out of place.

“The changelings absorbed all of his love with their terrible magic.” Shining Armor stood from the broken window on the other side of the bed. 

“My Prince.” She acknowledged Shining, still staring at her statuesque husband. “Is he?... Will he?...”

“He’s physically fine.” Shining replied, shaking his head. “But the love draining will leave him emotionless for quite some time. I’m sorry, we didn’t make it in time. We failed to protect you.”

He knelt down, ignoring the glass, and bowed to his own subject.

“I failed you.” His voice turned low and breathy as he bowed his head. 

She opened her mouth to speak, yet remained silent. It wasn’t everyday that a royal bowed to a commoner. Maybe I was too harsh on Twilight after all. This seemed like a different kind of kingdom than I expected. A place where the ruling party truly cared about its ponies regardless of status. However, I had no memories of this or any other kingdom. What sort of kingdom did I even expect to begin with?

“Harvest?” She focused on her husband again. “Can you see me?” She rubbed his neck, massaging his back and shoulders. “Can you hear me?”

We all sat silently as she assessed her mate. Her face scanning for any sign of hope in his expression. A few eternal moments passed before a new voice spoke.

“Rain Flower.” A low baritone voice said. Harvest was conscious. Would his memory be damaged like mine? No, it couldn’t be. He said her name. She chortled as soon as she heard him say it. Her tears melted away as pure joy returned to her face.

“Yes, darling.” She held his face in her hooves. “It’s me. You remember me?”

I couldn’t help but feel jealous. I swallowed back my guilt and avoided looking over at Shining or Twilight. They were probably feeling something similar. I was happy that her husband seemed alright. However, my own ordeal was still so fresh that it stung. 

“Rain Flower.” His monotone voice repeated. There was no life or will in his voice. He was like an unfeeling machine reciting information. 

“That’s right.” She kissed him on the cheek. He made no reaction to her touch. “I’m your wife, and I love you.” 

“Love.” The machine repeated her.

“Of course, darling.” She gripped his hoof into both of hers and squeezed it to her chest. “Oh please tell me the changelings didn’t take it all from you. Do you…?” 

“Love… I don’t...” He stammered. 

“Can you feel anything?” Her eyes begged him. She was emoting enough for both of them as he may as well have remained a statue. 

“I feel your hooves.” His dry delivery could have been a punch line, except nothing about this was funny. 

“But do you feel me?” Her voice went higher, more desperate. “Do you love me?” A question that everyone hopes to find a good answer to. 

“No.” His flat tone slammed into her like a guilty verdict. She shook her head, unable to speak. Her tears flowed once more, dripping down her cheeks and joining her husband’s drool on the floor. 

“He doesn’t mean it.” Twilight chimed in. “It’s the love stealing magic. He’s not able to feel love because they took it from him. It’s not your fault, or his.”

“It’s my fault.” Shining Armor said. “We should have been more prepared. We should have expected another attack. We should have…” 

“Shining!” I interrupted, glaring down at him and he seemed to understand my meaning. He was saying too much. Just like me on the royal balcony, he was letting his emotions run away with him. At least we had the luxury of having emotions.

“We were too late.” He finished. Rain Flower sniffed and wiped her muzzle, forcing herself to look away from her blank lover. I felt my cheeks flush when she looked directly at me.

“No.” She declared, moving slowly toward me. For some reason it made me want to back away. I remained still. “It’s not too late.” She smiled through teary eyes.

“It’s not? Well that’s good.” My eyes darted around the room, landing on Twilight. She looked at me like a filly who showed up to a test she didn’t study for.

“Yes, my lady.” Rain Flower boldly took my hoof in hers. I blinked a few times. “Forgive me for imposing, but your magic. I’ve heard the stories. You can heal the changeling victims who’ve been drained.”

So that’s what was so hard to say. What Twilight and Shining Armor feared would come to a head. 

“My magic?” My eyes went wide and I could feel my heart beating faster.

“Yes, my lady.” She nodded so proud and happy. Cadance could save this mare’s husband. Cadance could bring love back from the dead and restore the broken that was once whole.

I wasn’t Cadance.

At least not really, not anymore. Without my memories I may as well be a stranger in this land.

“Please, my lady, I beg you.” She knelt on the floor, grimacing and clutching her shoulder bandage. “Please heal him. I will pay any debt, any tithe you ask.”

I would never charge her, or anyone, for something like this. In truth it was me that owed her. She deserved a peaceful, undisturbed life. Shining Armor was right. We failed her in that regard.

“Cadance...” Twilight began as I mindlessly walked over to the emotionless stallion. I made myself look in his eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Harvest.” I said. My heart sank into my stomach. There was no change on his face except that he was conscious. The eyes still creeped me out. I was sure they would haunt me the next time I tried to sleep.  

“Cadance, it’s ok if you can’t-” Twilight continued and I cut in.

“I have to try.” I said a little angrier than I meant to. I closed my eyes and focused on my magic.

Love. I tried to focus on love. I could reach out with my magic and feel Harvest’s essence. It was flat and dim, like a two dimensional picture of a dying flame. There had to be a way to manipulate his emotions by adjusting his essence, but I had no idea how to do that. It wasn’t like levitating an object. Emotions and essences are fluid. A trained mage can mess with essences but if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can permanently harm someone. I was hoping, praying that the magic would be intuitive to me. I could still fly and cast regular unicorn magic. If love magic was a part of me then maybe it would come back?

Of course it didn’t. It couldn’t be that easy. Without my memories, the connection to love magic must have been lost. 

“I’m sorry, Rain Flower.” I opened my eyes to see her on the floor clasping her hooves. She was all but praying to me. “There’s nothing I can do.” I looked away in shame.

“I don’t understand, my lady.” She dropped down, prostrating herself on the floor.

“Your injury!” I yelled. She ignored me, and probably her pain too.

“Did we do something wrong?” She groveled. “Did I offend you? Were we not good citizens to you? Were we not loyal to the royal family?”

“No, no you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s not like that…”

“Then why, my lady?” Her words stabbed into my belly. Why couldn’t I help him? It wasn’t fair. “Why won’t you heal him?”

“Because I can’t!” My voice got away from me again. I was on the verge of crying with her.

“You can’t?” Rain Flower’s eyes widened with awful realization. “You mean the stories are lies? Your love magic can’t heal?”

“Well… I…” I was caught. I couldn’t do what this country needed. I couldn’t be the Princess they counted on.

I was a fraud.

“If your love can’t heal…” Suspicion creeped onto Rain Flower’s face. “Does that mean you also can’t…” 

“She’s still sick.” Shining Armor mercifully jumped in.

“Sick?” Rain Flower peeked up from the carpet.

“Yes, did you hear the announcement?” Shining asked.

“I did.” She nodded. “It was broadcast all over the kingdom. But my lady said she was fully healthy.”

“Mostly.” He assured her. “The changeling Queen’s attack had some lingering effects on Cadance’s power. The important thing is that she can still manage the Crystal Heart. We didn’t want the citizenry to worry about her health.”

“I had no idea, my lord!” She planted her face in the carpet again, still lying prone in front of me. “Please forgive me, my lady. It was selfish of me not to consider your health.” 

It was Shining Armor’s turn to make me look like a liar. I suppose he owed me one. I gave him a dry gaze and he shrugged in response. It was certainly better than ponies knowing I had no love magic at all. I had no choice but to play along.

“It’s all right.” I reassured her. “I’m sorry I can’t help him. He will recover, I promise. The draining effect isn’t permanent, it’s just a matter of time.” Shining Armor’s optimism was rubbing off on me. 

“Thank you, my -AH!” She curled up in pain, gripping her bandage as blood seeped out the side. 

“You’re wound!” I levitated her with my magic, and turned her over. I was careful not to put any strain on the injured area. “You have to stay still and let this close properly.” I ripped off more of the torn sheet and began redressing her bandage. 

“My poor Harvest.” She said as I wiped the blood running down her hoof. My fumbling with the makeshift bandages wasn’t doing much good. Twilight came over and took over wrapping and tying the new bandage for me. “He said he didn’t love me.” She closed her eyes and wept quietly.

“He’ll remember that he does.” I said, fully aware of the irony. 

“Yes, my lady. But it hurts all the same. Why didn’t the changelings drain me too? Why did they leave me alone to see him like this?” 

“You want them to drain you?” I asked

“No, I don’t.” She said deflated. “But I do envy him. He doesn’t have to feel his own heart breaking like I do.”

“What will you do now?” I asked and she finally smiled. It was a sad and faded smile, yet it was there all the same. 

“I wait.” She said simply. “You and Prince Shining Armor said it’s not permanent. I’ll wait until the end of time if I have to. For my Harvest to return to me.” She sighed as she leaned her back against the bed. Finally letting herself rest. 

“Harvest is a lucky stallion to have you as a wife.” Twilight said and Rain Flower gratefully looked up at the Princess of Friendship. 

I opened my mouth to say something, anything. I wanted to tell Rain Flower that her love was enough to heal her husband. However I wouldn’t say it. Because I didn’t know what love, or love magic, was capable of. My supposed power was a ghost of an emotion within me.

“Someone’s coming.” Shining said. We all collectively held our breaths as he gazed out the window towards the sky.

“Are they coming back?” Rain Flower looked panicked. “Is it the changelings?”

“No, it’s just the royal guard.” Shining looked over to see all of our distraught faces sigh in relief. “I’ve been expecting them.”

“Ok maybe open with that next time?” I furrowed my brow at him while trying to resist the urge to grin. “Instead of giving us all a heart attack.”

“Oh, my bad.” Shining chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. “Well I’m gonna meet up with them and help set up a defense perimeter. Just in case the changelings do decide to come back.”

Before I could say anything, Shining Armor leaped out of the broken window and galloped to the center of town. 

“Rain Flower.” Twilight placed her hoof on Rain Flower’s good shoulder. “Are you gonna be alright here? We need to go see how everypony else in town is doing. There could be more injuries, and Celestia knows how many poor ponies got drained.”

“Do you really think they drained everypony?” Rain Flower gently rubbed her chest bandage. “Is my whole town just like Harvest?” She glanced at her husband. He still hadn’t moved.

“Most likely yes.” Twilight bit her bottom lip. Her soft eyes weren’t suited for giving grim news. “Do you want somepony to stay here with you two?”

“I want to go help everypony.” She stood up on her own, surprising Twilight.

“But, your injury.” 

“I’ll be fine, Princess.” Rain Flower took a few steps to figure out how to put weight on her bad shoulder without too much pain. “If I’m the only one who made it out unscathed…” She looked down at her bandage, “...Mostly unscathed, then it’s my responsibility to take care of them.”

“I’m just worried about you aggravating your injury. What if you…”

“Twilight.” I interrupted her and they both looked at me. “Let her help. She needs this.”

Twilight’s face lit up with realization.

“Alright.” Was all she said. Rain Flower walked halfway out of the bedroom.

“What about Harvest?” I asked.

“He’ll be fine.” Rain Flower turned around in the hallway. She stared long and hard at her husband, once more taking in that empty expression. “He usually does nothing around the house anyway, so this won’t be much different for him.”

I let a few snickers out at that, while Twilight looked taken aback by it. My naive little goody two shoes Twilight wasn’t much for dark humor, but I knew how valuable it could be to keep your mind away from darker places. 

“Harvest.” He didn’t stir at his wife’s call. “Harvest, look at me. Are you listening?” His head ever so slightly twisted in her direction. The first real movement I had seen from him.

“I’m going out for a while. Stay here and don’t cause any trouble, understand?”

“Stay here?” Every word he said sounded exhausted. 

“Yes. I need you to stay here. You can have anything you want from the fridge, including my expensive chocolates.” She thought for a moment. “But don’t eat them all.”

“Ok.” His joyless affirmation fell flat on the room as the three of us exited the house together. \



****

> Chapter 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What did you say to me, Captain?” Shining Armor demanded of the yellow pegasi guard in gilded armor. 

I should have expected a bunch of burly colts to be unable to play nice with each other. 

“I said, your blatant disregard for protocol is unacceptable!” The Captain shouted back at Shining Armor. 

It was easy for the three of us to find them in the middle of town. All we had to do was follow the shouting.

“You’re out of line, Captain. I’m trying to keep this Kingdom safe from Changelings, and all you can do is shout protocol at me.” 

Twilight watched in horror as her brother and the Captain had their screaming match. Rain Flower stood in stunned silence.

“With all due respect, sir.” The Captain flared his nostrils upwards. He was a hair shorter than Shining, as Shining was tall even for a stallion. “Bringing the entire royal party alone into an active combat zone, is hardly what I’d call ‘keeping the Kingdom safe.’”

“Look around.” Shining gestured to the silent and almost empty town. The four of us and the twenty or so mixed guards occupied the town square. “There’s no combat here.”

“You didn’t know that until you got here.”

“I had to do something. Time was of the essence.”

“Sir, you’re not a Captain of the guard anymore.”

Their back and forth paused as Shining looked taken aback. The other guards did their best to stand at attention and maintain decorum. I could see the uncomfortable looks on their faces.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Shining’s expression darkened and his voice got quiet.

“It means you’re a head of state now. You don’t get to gamble with your life so that you can relive your glory days.”

“It’s not like that at all.”

“What if there was combat, sir?” The Captain let the dead air sit for a moment. “What if we lost both of our rulers and a Princess of Equestria all at once. We can’t afford to lose you. And as Captain of the royal guard, it’s my job to make sure we never lose a Prince or Princess.”

Shining glanced over at Twilight, who was completely beside herself. Rain Flower looked like she wanted to be invisible. This was probably not how she expected royals to behave. Neither did I.

“Lose a Princess of Equestria huh?” Shining drew his gaze back to the Captain, noticing he was looking directly at Twilight. “Were you hoping to play the role of her rescuer?”

The Captain’s face turned bright red. 

“Sir-” He began to rebut before Twilight jumped in.

“Shining, stop it!” She marched up to her brother and got in his face. Forcing the Captain to back off for a moment. “This is childish. Flash Sentry is only trying to do his job.” She pointed her hoof at her brother. “You of all ponies should know what that’s like for him.”

Shining stood with his mouth open. He stared mute at his sister.

“Thank you, Princess Twi-” Flash Sentry began but she cut him off again.

“And you!” She turned around on him. I couldn’t see her expression from behind her, but Captain Flash took a step back. “Do I have to remind you that Shining Armor is your leader and superior? Your opinion is valid, but please refrain from arguing like a bunch of cadets.”

Flash stammered, unable to string together a thought out loud. His face looked like a child being scolded by his mother. 

“That being said… everything Flash Sentry said is absolutely correct.” Twilight turned back to face her brother. Her anger had evaporated as she looked down her nose at her own brother. “We acted rashly and let our personal feelings get in the way of our duty.” She stepped back so that she could address both of them at once. 

“It won’t happen again.” She nodded at Flash. “As I’m sure your tone will be more respectful from now on, right Fla- Captain?” She corrected herself. A small chink in her otherwise regal royal armor. 

“Yes, Princess. I apologize.” Flash cleared his throat, looking down at the gravel and stone pathway of the town square. 

I was honestly too dumbfounded to add to the conversation. So instead I opted for a sassy comment to lighten the mood.

“He’s cute.” I whispered to Twilight. To which she blushed a similar shade of red to match Flash. Shining must have heard me because he laughed out loud. The laugh was warm. I felt a slight tingle go down my spine.

“Cadance!” Twilight glared at me with nostrils flared. Which only drove my teasing smile wider. I wanted to poke fun at her again. However, in the corner of my eye, I noticed Rain Flower watching the whole scene unfold with wide and curious eyes. 

Clearing my throat, I switched gears and attempted to act like the royalty I was. “I swear it’s not usually like this. We usually behave like mature adults.” I said to her. Yet, how would I even know that? I essentially was born today. Or, at least, only had memories of today. It was my turn to flush a bit, as I felt the warmth on my cheeks. 

“Oh!” Rain Flower looked startled, like she had been caught peeking. She bowed her head again, careful not to aggravate her shoulder. “It is not my place to judge the affairs of royals and noble captains.” A long pause followed her unfortunate choice of words. Twilight looked like she wanted to bury her head in the sand as she covered her down right maroon face with her hoof. 

“Uh…” Rain Flower cleared her throat, hoping to clear the air as well. “What I meant by that was…” She closed her eyes and sighed. By the time she opened them, her demeanor had changed. She stared right at me with a solid purpose in her eyes, ready to change the subject. “My Lady, I can’t help but think that, since the Changelings can alter their appearance at will, I fear that the danger may not have passed yet.”

Shining and Flash stiffened their posture and regarded Rain Flower simultaneously. I could almost watch the wheels turning in their heads.

“There could be Changelings among us.” Flash glared intently at Shining who narrowed his eyes right back at Flash. 

Rain Flower looked from pony to pony, suspicion dripped from her brow. Just when I thought Shining and Flash were going to accuse each other of being Changelings and fight, Flash nodded to Shining. The latter activated his magic and a magenta haze covered Flash from head to hoof. I almost jumped in the way to stop Shining from attacking his captain of the guard with whatever strange magic this was. 

Fortunately, I hesitated as the flashing color simply scanned Flash for a few seconds and stopped. 

“My Prince, was that…?” Rain Flower began as Shining gave her a charming side smile. I hid the fact that him smiling at her like that bothered me. 

“A Changeling detection spell.” He nodded proudly. “Thank you for reminding me. We do have protocols for these situations to be followed.”

Rain Flower blushed as she curtseyed to her Prince. My husband. 

“Oh, so now you’re worried about protocol?” Flash raised an eyebrow. Shining snapped his head back to the Captain, looking like he wanted to throttle him. Other than that, he didn’t react to Flash’s comment. 

“You’re clear, Captain.” Shining turned his back to Flash, which I assumed was a show of dominance. Not that the Captain would attack his Prince, but leaving his back exposed sent the message that Flash presented no threat. Which Flash all but confirmed with the scorned burn in his gaze as Shining strolled regally over to Rain Flower. 

“As you just saw, ma’am, it’s a very quick and painless spell.” He told her as he held out his hoof. “May I?” He asked, looking like he would bow and take her hoof as if it were a dance at a royal ball. I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. 

“Of course, my Lord.” She declined her head, submitting to his will. Seconds later, the touch of his magic caressed her body in a magenta light screen. 

“Clear.” Shining said as he faced me now. My heart swelled into my throat and promptly dropped down to my stomach. His eyes were tender and his expression caring. His handsome mug looked into the face of his lover. Yet, there was something else there as well. A tinge of doubt as he observed my figure. A terrifying “what if?” darkened his brow as he stepped toward me.

The doubt seeped into my thoughts as well. I had no memory of myself or my life. What if I was one of them? A Changeling. A false sleeper agent waiting to be activated. What if this magic exposed me for who I truly was, breaking the illusion forever? 

I held my breath as he stood before me. He was taller by just a few inches. I must have been wearing my thoughts on my face because he suddenly smiled. A smile that I was grateful for. It eased my panic a tiny bit. 

“May I?” His voice was low as a whisper and smooth as caramel. That lovely tone reserved only for me. The town and crowd around me faded away, and only Shining Armor stood in my world with me. I was stunned in place, unable to move or run. 

Run? Where would I go? I was afraid, but I didn’t want to run. I wanted to stay here with him, regardless of the outcome. If I was false, a stranger, let it be known here and now. Maybe that would finally explain things.

“Do it.” I closed my eyes, taking in a shaking breath. A moment later I felt the warmth of his magic over me. My breath failed. My heart stopped. I expected to hear screams, gasps, terror all around me. All I heard was, 

“Clear.” 

I opened my eyes to see his loving gaze beaming in my direction, as if he was looking at me truly for the first time since I woke up. 

“Don’t act too happy about it.” I found myself muttering. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He winked and moved on to Twilight. 

I was allowed to breathe again. 

Cadance. My name is Cadance. I told myself for the first time. This was my home. These were my ponies. And he was my…

One step at a time. 





****





“Ow!” I cried as Pell found another knot in my mane. A quick flick of her wrist and the knot was broken.

“Hold still and it will hurt less.” Everytime she found a knot, it felt like my hair was going to be pulled out with the brush. We were sitting in yet another new room that I hadn’t seen before. I assumed the bathing area and the main dressing room were, well… all of the bathing and dressing areas. I was sorely mistaken. This castle had rooms upon rooms and multiple duplicates of each kind. If there were visiting dignitaries from other nations, (and they all hated each other) they could easily be pampered in luxury without ever having to see each other.

“Hurt less?” I winced as I said it. “How about not at all?”

“Such is life, my lady.” She gave me a wry look through the mirror as she groomed my mane. I swear she enjoyed finding knots. 

I hadn’t been back from that rural farm village for ten minutes before Pell found me, gasped at the state of my mane and fur, and insisted on grooming me back to “Princess Perfect” as she said. 

After Shining Armor and Twilight went through everypony in the town scanning for Changelings, they scanned each other. Then they taught every unicorn guard how to do the spell. Shining had said regular check points may be necessary if the threat increased or came closer to the Capital. 

I sighed as the sobering scene replayed in my head. The horror those ponies must have felt when they saw the Changelings coming for them. Sheer panic, running, screaming and then…

Nothing.

Not death, but something arguably worse. The inability to feel anything at all. Was it only love that was stolen, or was it any heightened emotion? Could you feel at all while drained? That stallion Harvest looked like an empty husk. I would have to ask Twilight about the details and long term effects. Maybe I could also ask Harvest about it once he recovered. It was fortunate that he would recover. Without love or feelings, life couldn’t be worth living.

Pell must have noticed my change in mood. She smiled warmly at me through the mirror. I could almost hear her thoughts. I was free to talk about what was bothering me, but I didn’t have to. 

“How are things with you and Prince Shining Armor?” She offered a new conversation topic. “Don’t fret too much on what once was. These things do take time, but I hope that at least…” My cheeks were already bright red when I interrupted her.

“Why do the Changelings have to feed?” I was absolutely not continuing that other conversation topic. 

Pell stopped moving the brush mid stroke. She looked taken aback from her reflection. 

“They must feed to survive…” She began as I interrupted her again, not caring about manes or manners much at the moment.

“I know they do, but why?” I let the question fill the quiet room for a moment. My voice echoed off of priceless crystal vases and art pieces that decorated this vanity area. “Why does such a creature exist? It seems too sick and cruel for both the victims and for them.”

Pell breathed a heavy sigh as she reloaded for another brush stroke.

“Far be it for me to understand the machinations of the creator of all existence.” She led the brush over my tri-colored hair, finally gently this time. 

“Were they always this way?”

“As far as proper recorded history is concerned, yes.”

I raised my eyebrow. She explained before I could ask a follow up question.

“History is full of battles and conflicts between the Changelings and the Empire. Before our return to this realm. Before King Sombra put us to sleep for a thousand years. Before Equestria was founded. They were always our enemy. A group of dark beings who were only sustained on feeding off of happier, more joyful souls.”

My eyes went glossy as I took in Pell in a new light. Twilight had told me that the Crystal Empire returned very recently from a thousand years of slumber. That meant that Pell and all the Crystal Ponies were ancient. Beings from a time long lost to history and legend alike. She was wise and gave me good council, but she didn’t look that old. I suppose none of them aged or had any memory of the time during their long rest.

Pell seemed to read my thoughts through the mirror.

“Not bad for a thousand plus years, wouldn’t you say, my lady?” She cocked her hip out to the side and gestured to her figure. I couldn’t help but giggle.

“A thousand and how many years exactly?” My own grin grew devious. 

“Watch it.” Her eyes warned me from her reflection. 

“Is there nothing we know about them except war and their magic?”

Pell nodded with recognition, remembering what she was about to say before.

“That's all history has to say about them.” She drew the brush smoothly through the end of my hair. The knots and split ends seemed to be yielding to her at last. “Although, there are stories.”

“Stories?” My curiosity was as peaked as my teased mane. 

“Legends. Myths. Stories we tell children to make them behave and go to bed on time, lest the Changelings come and gobble them up.” Pell bunched some tufts of my mane into a ball as if a monster were eating it. I couldn't help but giggle like a foal.

“Well if they’re just old pony’s tales, then I guess it doesn’t ma-”

It was her turn to interrupt me, as she quickly brushed out the mess she just made.

“Do not underestimate the value of a good myth, my lady.” Her expression was a bit serious for someone discussing children’s stories. “Myths may not always be true to history, but they tell us a great deal about the past all the same. They tell us who we are and what we were once like. What we believe and what we value.”

I didn’t have a response so I just nodded in my cushioned seat with my hair all over the place. 

“How do the stories go?”

“It is said that long ago, the Crystal Ponies lived in harmony with the Changelings.” She set the prickly brush down and grabbed a much tamer looking comb. “They shared these lands. From the peaks of the Crystal Mountains, down to the dual rivers that flow into the ocean, and all the rich farmland in between.” She pulled the comb down my scalp, slowly bringing my hair back into its original smooth and flowing shape. “The Crystal Ponies were a reserved and suspicious people. They mistrusted all other creatures and preferred to dwell in the mountains that bore their name; only coming down to the valleys and meadows for necessities like food and water. 

“The Changelings were a jovial and outspoken folk. They were full of love and laughter and wanted for nothing, except to spread their love to any creature they met. However, the Crystal Ponies were naturally suspicious of them. Shunning their love and retreating to their caves. Alone, cold, and empty. In order to gain the Crystal Pony's trust, they decided to make them a gift. A relic that would help keep the Crystal Ponies warm and spread around what little love they had for each other. The Changelings gathered all the rare and unique crystals they could find and forged them into a single form. A heart that they imbued with all the love and good will they could muster.”

“The Crystal Heart!” I chimed in like a child hearing the tale for the first time.

“Indeed.” She smiled. “Now the Crystal Ponies were cautious, but they still accepted the Changeling’s token of friendship. Which turned out to be much more than a pretty decoration. The heart could absorb love and then give it back in greater quantities. It could generate light and warmth in addition to warming the hearts of those who lived near it.”

“That’s why the Crystal Heart is used as a power source. Twilight told me that it powers the entire Capital.” My ears perked up, twitching just a little bit in excitement. 

“You see?” Pell rubbed my shoulder with her free hoof. “Myths are not all fiction. There’s always a bit of truth at the heart of the story.”

I rolled my eyes at her pun as she continued.

“The aloof Crystal Ponies quickly learned that the more love that was stored in the heart, the greater their power and prosperity was. Grateful for the gift, they opened their homes and their hearts at last to the Changelings. In turn, the Changelings convinced the ponies to come down from the mountain and live among the rich lands and explore the world at large. It was a beautiful union of species as the Changelings could embody love magic, and the Crystal Ponies could store and amplify it using the Crystal Heart.”

Pell’s smile faded slightly.

“This story doesn’t have a happy ending does it?” I said and Pell shook her head. 

“No, my lady, it does not.” She gazed curiously at my reflection. “Or perhaps, the story simply hasn’t ended yet.”

‘What do you mean?” I asked, but she just continued the story.

“After many eons of peace, love, and prosperity, a demon king was born. Sombra the cold King of the Crystal Mountains. Some say he’s a Crystal Pony himself. Others speculate he’s something else altogether. Sombra had terrible and powerful magic. Magic that could corrupt and ruin anything he wished. He used his magic like a plague. Spreading negativity and ruin. He turned his ambitions towards obtaining the Crystal Heart, thinking it would amplify his magic and spread his influence further. Fortunately, the Crystal Capital was a well guarded city. For the Crystal Ponies, although much happier now, were still a cautious people. Slow to trust new comers. Especially a supposed dark King. They wouldn’t allow him into the city. Sombra instead went to the Changeling tribe leaders. He bullied and demanded that they bring him the Crystal Heart so that he may corrupt it and add it to his power. When they refused to betray their friends, he cursed them. His corruption magic ripped through the kind and gentle Changelings, turning them into something twisted and evil.

“No longer did they give love magic. They took it instead. Sombra used them to invade the Crystal Capital, stealing the very love magic that they had given the Crystal Ponies eons ago. Even corrupted, they didn’t want to feed on their friends. But the hunger consumed them, tore at them so hard they had no choice but to feed or starve. After a great battle, the Crystal Ponies managed to repel Sombra’s force of love thieves. Only after much of the Capital had been ravaged, mind you. They rebuilt and bolstered their defenses. Once again becoming a secluded people for their own safety. Sombra swore to return and have his vengeance. Forcing the Crystal Ponies to remain constantly vigilant and frequently repel attacks from the now corrupted Changelings. Their old friends.”

“The Changelings, it wasn’t their fault.” I concluded. Pell didn’t say anything else for a moment.

“How do you like your mane, my lady?” She perked up once again. I had lost track of her progress on my hair. It looked gorgeous and glowing once again. Pell was a miracle worker. She could make a sewer rat look like royalty.  

“It’s perfect.” I turned my head to see her real face, not the reflection. “Princess Perfect.” I smiled. 

“That’s all I needed to hear.” She turned quickly to put her grooming tools away, trying to hide the beaming pride written all over her face. “Would you like to retire to the lounge or your bedroom this evening.”

My face plummeted as a nervous thought entered my head. Pell read my mind when she said,

“I have prepared separate rooms for you and Shining Armor. Only a handful of servants are aware of the temporary separation.”

I sighed a little too hard as my shoulders slumped forward and my hoof crossed my heart in relief. 

“You make it sound like a divorce.” I straightened up, observing my hair in the mirror.

“Only if you wish it to be, my lady.” Her face stayed even as my eyes widened. “As I said, temporary.”

“I-” I wasn’t sure what I wanted. “I just don’t want to do anything rash.” I looked down at my lap. My legs were crossed, sitting on a red heart shaped pillow

“That’s very wise.” She said as I fiddled with the tassels on the pillow. 

“What if we did get divorced?” I asked the pillow and Pell answered.

“Nothing would make me sadder, my lady.”

I believed her instantly. It would make me sad too. I could admit that much to myself. 

“What if I fall in love with him?”

“Nothing would make me happier.”

I looked up from the pillow to see her calm, warm expression. 

“Although,” She met my gaze as the side of her mouth curled upward. “I’m not the one who has to divorce or marry anypony. You have to do what you want to do.”

“What if I don’t know what I want?”

She looked up at the ceiling for a moment, rubbing her chin with her hoof. She moved away from the mirror and sat down behind me on one of the cozy crystal love seats with bright fluffy red padding. I spun around in my pillow to face her. This room was incredibly red. As if the interior designer expected this to be the place where ponies discussed romance. Or performed it. I bit my bottom lip at that thought. Pell didn’t seem to notice. 

“What do you think of Shining Armor?” She repeated her question from earlier. I was finally ready to answer it like an adult. 

“He’s fine.” I said curt and she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Fine?” She asked, tilting her head and widening her grin.

“He’s great.” I threw my hooves up exasperated. “He’s wonderful. Handsome. Kind. Strong. Devoted. A picture perfect Prince. Any mare would be lucky to have him. I’m sure they’d line up outside the castle if he was available. But…” I paused, running out of words for how it felt. Suddenly I sounded like a spoiled brat turning down her dream husband. Why didn’t it feel that way?

“But, you don’t want to be forced into it. Even if it’s a good deal.” She finished my thoughts. 

“Exactly.” I sighed, looking around this great vanity room. Just one of many palace rooms dripping with luxury that was mine. All of it mine. “I guess I’m just too selfish.”

“It’s not selfish, my lady.” Her grin faded as she shook her head. “Love must come naturally. It can take time.”

“What if it never comes?”

“Then so be it.”

I scoffed out loud. 

“You said you didn’t want to do anything rash.” Pell pointed her hoof at me, her back fully lounged in the comfy chair. A well deserved rest for all her hard work. “I would rather my Prince and Princess have a friendship with mutual respect, than see a forced romance that both of you will regret.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but I ended up just letting my jaw hang open.

“So take all the time you need, my lady.” She continued, sitting up straight to look closer at me. “Don’t let any pony rush you. Especially Shining Armor.”

“You think he’d pressure me?” 

She pursed her lips, taking time to consider my choice of words. 

“I think a love sick fool like him may let his heart get ahead of him.”

I grinned at the thought of Shining Armor chasing me down with chocolates and flowers. I could totally picture it. I bet he jumped through hoops while courting me. I wish I could remember.

Should I make him crawl for me now? As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I felt guilty for it. I should never do such a thing. I went to stand up and shake the intrusive thought from my head. My legs were heavier than I expected. I labored just to get on all fours, and soreness tugged at the base of my wings and hindquarters. Shining Armor was a heavy stallion, and I helped carry him alongside Twilight while flying today. What a dainty Princess I certainly was.

“I think I’ll retire to my room, Pell.” I yawned as exhaustion hit me. I may have recently slept for a week, but this first day back was hard on my weakened body. “Thank you for everything today.”

“Always.” She smiled brightly. “Make a left down this hallway and it’s the first door on your right.”

“Oh good, that’s not very far.” I breathed a sigh of relief as I took slow and heavy steps. 

“I had a feeling that we would need the vanity room closest to your current bedroom.” Her motherly smile switched to the devious grin of a friend thinking of a dirty joke. “Unless you’d rather go to Shining Armor’s room.”

I laughed out loud.

“Tempting, but one step at a time.” I nodded to her as I approached the archway leading into the hallway. The room was closed with only a double wide curtain. It was red, of course. I was just gonna call this the red room from now on.

“One step at a time, my lady.” 

I pushed open the curtain as I stopped to look at her again.

“Do you think it’s true?” I said and Pell looked confused. “That the Changelings used to be good. Do you think they could ever be uncorrupted?”

Pell looked down at the floor, lost in thought.

“I couldn’t tell you, my lady. It is just a children’s story.”




****

> Chapter 6
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you crazy?" Twilight glared at me across the conference room table. She didn’t look angry so much as perplexed by what I said. We sat together in our usual conference room. A long skinny wooden table that was obnoxiously too big for three ponies. It was also the room where we ate most of our meals. A convenient little, actually massive, dual purpose room in a castle that did not need dual purpose rooms. I suppose comfort and habit play just as much of a role as design. 

"I mean, it makes some sense." I looked away from her harsh expression over to Shining. His casual indifference wasn’t much better. "An entire race built to feed on other races? It can't be natural. It must be some sort of ancient corruption."

"I wish that were true." Twilight shook her head, finally softening her eyes. "But, there's no historical evidence that such a corruption ever occurred."

"What about the stories? They had to come from somewhere." I shrugged.

"That's just it. They're stories. Wishful thinking not wanting to face an awful truth. The Changelings are evil and always have been." Twilight looked like she wanted to continue, but choked on her words.

"Doesn't mythology tell us about who we are and who we once were? Even if it’s not historically accurate?" I did my best to recall Pell’s wisdom. 

"You're right, it does." Twilight smiled sadly, letting her muzzle dip.

"It does?" My eyes shifted in suspicion. I had a feeling she wouldn't concede that easily.

"Yes." She sighed. "It tells us that the Crystal Ponies are a good and noble people who want to see the best in anypony.” Twilight’s head nod was short and grim. 

“Anyone.” I corrected.

“That’s what I said.”

Shining stared between us, contemplative yet bored. 

“What do you think?” I asked him, snapping him out of his trance. 

“Me?” He pointed to himself. He looked to Twilight as if she would answer for him. When she didn’t he cleared his throat. “Well I’m no expert on history or archaeology.”

“Ok, but what do you think?” I prodded him.

“I think whatever Twilight says is probably correct. She knows everything about this stuff.” He shrugged his shoulders with a nonchalant sideways grin that I wanted to knock off his face. Couldn’t he think for himself? Have an instinct or opinion? Maybe Twilight was right, but it seemed like too important of a possibility to just brush off with a smarmy smirk.

Bastard.

Why did this make me so angry? I just wanted to know the truth. The empty expression on Harvest’s face haunted me all night. Rain Flower’s broken expression and words played in my head over and over. Something greater had to be behind this evil than just blind nature trying to feed itself. Didn’t it? Or was I just like the ancient Crystal Ponies? Trying to find purpose and meaning where there was none, and unable to face a cruel reality. 

"Is it really so impossible?" I could feel the air being sucked out of the room as I spoke. "That the Changelings could be saved? Why can’t they be made good again?" Twilight studied my face with something I had never seen on her expression: 

Suspicion.

I looked at Shining Armor who just stared off into space. He didn't seem to be focusing on anything as his thousand yard stare looked blankly forward. I swallowed as my neck craned back to Twilight. Her eyes had softened with sadness. 

"You don't remember your wedding." Twilight shook her head.

"Well yeah… I don’t remember any-" 

Twilight cut me off. "You don't remember what happened!" 

I drew in a short breath at her outburst. "You don't remember what they did. What she did." Twilight wore hatred poorly. Her face contorted unnaturally as her cute features gave way to something awful.

"She attacked my wedding, right?" I asked sheepishly. 

"She stole you from me!" Twilight's narrowed gaze met Shining Armor. "She stole you from us. She posed as you for weeks before the wedding. She tried to marry Shining and steal your life, and your family right from under you. All so that her awful hive could feed on our love. Our true and genuine love for each other.” Twilight glared at me, right through me with raw hatred on her face. Her muzzle was dragged down by her sagging cheeks. Calling it a frown wouldn’t do it justice. “Love is nothing but a tool for her to manipulate out of her victims. Love is the food source that she drains from the innocent, and feeds to her wild hoard.”

Her eyes burned into me. I could feel her gaze in my essence. That hatred that was meant for Queen Chrysalis pointed right at me, and it made me sick. I prayed that Twilight would never look at me like that again. Not for real. Not directed at me on purpose. 

“So no.” She finally calmed her expression, possibly realizing the ire she was throwing my way. “The Changelings cannot be redeemed. I’ve spent years serving Princess Celestia and all of Equestria. I’ve fought monsters, evil kings, and malevolent creatures. Many of them have changed, transformed by the magic of friendship. I’ve helped the wicked see the light personally, and become valued friends and community members. I know how to spot the goodness in anypony.”

Twilight looked at me. Her face was no longer contorted, yet a dark sadness covered her mug.

“There is no goodness in Queen Chrysalis or her Changelings.” She spoke her condemnation. It felt like the final gavel strike from an old and battered judge. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there dumbfounded. I was foolish for thinking there may be some good in such a foul species. I must have been. Twilight acted innocent and immature at times, but it was an act. She was a battle hardened warrior. A defender of good and justice. She would know better than anyone who the real monsters were. Perhaps the warrior princess was an act, and the sweet unassuming Twilight was the real version of her. The truth had to be a mix of both. People are more complex than one personality trait. Although, it was hard to swallow that these two Princesses were the same pony. 

“The real question is how do we stop Chrysalis?” Twilight snapped me back to reality. “If we stop Chrysalis, we stop the changelings.” 

I finally agreed with Twilight on something. Whatever the truth was about the Changelings, Chrysalis was the one behind all of this. She had hurt my people, hurt me. She took my life from me and made me start all over again. Looking around this table and Kingdom, I apparently had a lot to lose. She knew that. She struck where it hurt the most. Chrysalis wasn’t just a victim of raging hunger, she was evil itself. And she had to be stopped.

“Well with the three of us together, I’m sure we’ll track her down and put an end to this.” Shining grinned and nodded at his sister, however she lowered her head and looked like she was about to cry.

“Actually, it’s not three.” Twilight said to the table.  Her tri-colored bangs covered her eyes, hiding her wounded gaze. 

“What do you mean?” Shining asked. Twilight lifted her head to reveal her misty eyes.

“I have to leave.” She shook her head. “I can’t linger any longer.”

“I know you have to get back to Ponyville eventually, but…” Twilight interrupted her brother.

“Celestia has summoned me!” She shouted, taking the two of us by surprise. “She’s ordered me to come to Canterlot immediately. I have to leave today, I have to…” She trailed off.

“If you have to leave you have to leave.” I offered. The guilt on her face was not satiated.

“I have to abandon you, my family.” Twilight began openly crying. “Right now, in your hour of need. I have to leave you.”

“So linger.” I shrugged my shoulders and even Shining’s eyes widened at my flippant reaction.

“I can’t directly disobey Celestia!” Twilight vigorously shook her head. “A Princess committing insubordination? It’s unthinkable, it’s…” I interrupted her.

“You’re not disobeying, you’re delayed.” Twilight just stared at me with her mouth open. “The train broke down. The wind is too bad to fly in. It’s common knowledge that there are Changelings in the area and the guard has to scout first to make sure it’s safe.”

“Cadance, you want me to…lie to Princess Celestia.” Twilight said “lie” in a whisper. As if trying to keep the word away from prying ears that may inform Celestia.

Shining didn’t seem to approve, but he didn’t speak up either. He just sat with his elbow on the table holding up his chin with his hoof. 

“Not lying per se.” I said like I was a lawyer or something. “Just… truth stretching.”

Twilight’s eyes bulged as her breathing became loud and heavy. She kept holding her hoof over her heart on each inhale, and pushing her hoof straight out on each exhale. The same ritual she did on the balcony when we made the public announcement.

“Why do you do that breathing thing with your hoof?” I decided to change the subject. I felt that if Twilight even attempted to slightly skew any facts to Celestia, she would drop dead of a heart attack. 

“Oh…” Twilight paused to look at her outstretched hoof. “It’s a calming exercise that… you taught me. It’s supposed to steady a pony’s breathing and help them relax.”

“Really? Cause it looks like it’s doing the opposite for you.” I smirked a bit. Twilight just frowned as she set her hoof down.

“I guess it’s just stupid.” Her voice went soft and fragile.

“It’s not stupid.” I said a bit too loud. It was frustrating how extreme she took everything. Although, there was something charming and admirable about being so earnest. When she didn’t respond I decided to continue. “I just think you need to work on the intentionality of the exercise instead of just the motions.”

“You think it’s not working? Or am I doing it wrong?” Twilight looked at me with those puppy dog eyes. Her youth and inexperience projecting through her obvious emotions. If I hadn’t seen her in true Princess form yesterday and today, I would think that she just didn’t have the personality to lead. I was having emotional whiplash from Twilight jumping back into her vulnerable nature. I had to remind myself that she was still a child who wanted to be loved, while also being a warrior sworn to protect those she loved. God help anyone who met Twilight in combat. I hadn’t even seen her fight, but I could feel her essence. The magical aura coming off of her was enormous. Any unicorn, or creature sensitive to magic, could sense the terrifying power emanating behind her adorable facade. 

“Not wrong, but if you’re not mentally willing to let yourself calm down it won’t work.” I explained and she nodded with realization on her face. “Maybe the original me forgot to mention that.”

“You are the original you.” Shining finally spoke up, and Twilight nodded with him.

“You know what I mean.” I smirked, hiding my own doubts about myself. If I never recovered my memories, they may have to face the reality that I’d never fully be the same Cadance they knew. 

“Since you’re being recalled, does that mean Celestia is going to send the additional guard divisions I asked for to help with the Changeling threat?” Shining casually asked.

“No.” All of the light drained from Twilight’s eyes. “She wants Equestrian forces securing Equestria’s borders first. She says she’ll send help as soon as she can.”

When our cities are razed to the ground and our capital is in ashes, I thought to myself. Watchful friends and guardians indeed. I was livid at Celestia even though I hadn’t met her. According to Twilight, Celestia was my biological aunt. These kingdoms were just one big interwoven family. 

“What!” Shining Armor slapped his hooves on the table. “Secure Equestria? All of the Changeling activity has been well north of the border. Doesn’t she realize that we need help? Especially if they attack us in full force, we would need you here, Twilight, to help defend the Kingdom. Why would Celestia…” He paused, seeing the tears forming in his sister’s eyes again. Clearly, she was being emotionally torn in two different directions.

“Abandon us?” I finished for him and they both gazed at me horrified. Twilight even gasped aloud. I forced myself to smile. Nothing could be accomplished by sitting here and fussing about it. We had to deal with the hand we were dealt. Right then both of them needed encouragement and hope. So did I. Unfortunately, I would have to convince myself as well.

“She’s not abandoning us.” I wasn’t sure I believed my own words, but I could stretch the truth too. “And you’re not abandoning us either.” I smiled as convincingly as I could at Twilight’s vulnerable expression. I didn’t focus on the half-truth of my words. Rather I thought about how Twilight already felt like a little sister to me. She had helped encourage me and nurse me back to health. The least I could do was comfort her back like the big sister I was supposed to be.

“I’m sure Celestia has a plan.” Twilight’s frown softened just a bit at my statement. “She’s an ancient and wise ruler. She must be doing a better job than us at looking at the big picture. I’m sure she’ll explain it to you as soon as you get back to Canterlot.”

“So, you don’t mind if I go?” Twilight spoke from the far end of the table

“Orders are orders.” I shrugged and she frowned again. “Don’t worry little sis, we’ve got this.” I winked at her and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She ran over to my side of the table and wrapped her hooves around me.

“Thank you, Cadance.” She gripped me tightly as Shining Armor walked over from his side of the table. The unnecessary distance between where we sat felt especially stupid during this tender moment. Because, at this moment, Twilight wasn’t a Princess. She was a scared little sister and a friend torn between her duty and her family. Perhaps I could rebuild my life and family one piece at a time. I could stack moments like this until I stopped feeling the hole from the entire life I had lost. “I’ll miss you guys, please be safe.”

Shining Armor caressed the back of Twilight’s neck. I thought she was going to switch her hug to him, but she just grabbed him with her right hoof and pulled him down into a group hug.

“I’ll miss you too Twilie. And don’t worry about us. Nothing will hurt our Kingdom as long as Cadance and I are in charge.” I felt him squeeze back. His closeness and his touch made me nervous for a moment before it passed. I welcomed our closeness as we held our goodby embrace with Twilight for who knows how long. 




****



Twilight hadn’t been gone for two hours and the loneliness already set in. I had lost one of three people I felt I could talk to. I sat there staring at the dinner plate in front of me. Roasted stuffed mushrooms in cheese sauce, eggplant parmesan with arugula, fresh pineapple slices, and a garden salad with more veggies than I could count or name. Not to mention the literal trough of hay in the center of the table to add to the plate as one saw fit. Everything was delicious, and the smell was intoxicating. Even the hay had a tinge of sweetness to it which meant it was probably grown in a special green house and spliced with other plants to manipulate the flavor. It was a Royal’s feast, as per usual.

I could barely eat a bite.

Shining Armor sat across the dinner table from me. He seemed to be enjoying his meal just fine. Half of his plate was already demolished. Stallions handle stress differently than mares, I supposed. I wished my stress would increase my appetite like his. Must have been nice.

A blue crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling illuminating a soft light over the dining room. The light of the Chandelier crystal changed depending on the time of day or desired mood. Yesterday I asked if there was a smaller, more modest dining room and I was told that this was the small one. There was only one dark finished wooden table in here, but at least fifty could eat if they wheeled in more tables and chairs. I imagined the main dining hall must have been like a ballroom to be bigger than this. I tried to will myself to fork another bite into my mouth when a servant startled me.

"Oh!" I felt so embarrassed that I jumped.

"Forgive me, my lady." He bowed much lower than I would have liked as an apology. I'm the one who wasn't paying attention. He didn't sneak up on me. I should be embarrassed, not him. However, the servants here preferred to take the blame for any social awkwardness. Even if it wasn't their fault. Especially if it wasn't their fault. "Is the meal not to your liking? Can we prepare you something more suitable?" 

It wasn't just Pell. The whole staff doted on us. Constantly making sure we were comfortable, rested, and well fed. It was sweet and charming. Or it would have been if it didn't make me feel so guilty. 

"The food is perfect." I said though he didn't look convinced. "The mushrooms are cooked exquisitely." I pointed to each item on my plate as I appraised the meal. "The cheese blend is lovely and matches the seasoning. The eggplant is tangy and crisp. The vegetable choices in the salad complement each other even without dressing. And the pineapple is ripe and juicy." His eyes bulged a bit as I finished. He looked speechless so I continued explaining. "Unfortunately, I'm under a bit of stress and it's affecting my appetite." I rubbed my stomach. Probably not perfect table manners, but I didn’t care.

"I'm sorry to hear that, my lady." He did a bow/nod with his head that the servants were all talented at doing. "I can take your plate for you if your stomach is too upset. Perhaps a yogurt or something more calming and settling would help?"

"And waste this artfully created culinary masterpiece?" I looked down at my plate. I wanted so badly to want to eat it. "I could never insult the chef like that. I'll have some more, I promise." I smiled at him and saw he was trying to hide a boyish blush on his cheek. It was then that I finally noticed the chef's hat on this crimson crystal earth pony.

"My lady…" he removed his hat to hold it over his heart. "I am the head chef, and your kind words are more than I deserve." He bowed again. "Please, enjoy your meal at your leisure." He donned his chef's hat and walked out with his chest held high. Talent like that should be recognized, even if it was just routine for everyone else. 

I am the head chef. Him introducing himself was a passive acknowledgement of my memory loss. Supposedly very few servants were aware of my condition. However, it was probably a terribly kept secret at this point. There’s no way juicy gossip like that wouldn’t spread, no matter how loyal and dedicated they were. They would simply keep up the facade. Hopefully keeping the secret from outsiders to the castle.

Or enemies.

"Well I was gonna ask how your food is, but I guess that settles that." Shining shrugged as he shoveled another huge bite of eggplant into his mouth.

"We’ll have to go back to awkward silence again." I grinned. It must have been a weak grin because I didn’t feel convinced while holding it. 

"You're right about the cheese blend." He wiped his mouth with his red velvet napkin. "Really nice."

I pursed my lips and nodded grimly at my plate. 

“I just…” I began, but he interrupted me.

“It’s not your fault.” He said and I snapped my head up to stare at him. “I know you’re under a lot of stress. Believe me, I’m feeling it too. But you can’t fix everything by yourself.”

I wanted to be angry that he talked over me. Maybe I was too emotionally drained because I just let him continue.

“We’re a team. Not just you and me, but the whole kingdom. That’s what makes us strong. That’s why the Crystal Heart keeps us strong.” He grinned back at me and I relaxed a little bit.

“We’re a team, huh?” I forked a mushroom into my mouth. It was so cheesy and decadent. “Including Captain Flash Sentry?” My eyes studied him carefully. His brow furrowed at the name for just a half second before he shook it off and smiled. He may have thought he hid it, but I saw it.

“Of course.” He smiled way too politically. “Captain Flash is a fine…”

Both of our necks snapped towards the double oak doors at the entrance of the dining hall as they were shoved open with great force. Captain Flash darted into the room as if he had heard his name called. His expression did not look like he wanted to join us for our meal.

“...pain in my ass!” Shining finished his sentence. “Can’t you see we’re in the middle of dinner?”

Flash just glared at Shining for a moment. It was only then that Shining noticed the grim expression on his Captain’s face and understood why he had interrupted our meal. 

“No…” Shining’s voice was so quiet, the Crystal acoustics in the dining hall barely picked it up.

“There’s been another attack.” Flash didn’t mince words. He was dressed in his full golden armor and held his helmet in his armpit. Shining stared into space for a moment, looking past Flash. I could see the fear and shame in his eyes. Fear because he didn’t know how many of his subjects were hurt and would continue to suffer. Shame because he hadn’t stopped it, and probably wondered if he even could stop it. Just like when he bowed to Rain Flower and apologized, he kept the weight all on his shoulders. And yet he was lecturing me about sharing the burden. I supposed his words were just as much for him as they were for me. 

“So why are you here telling me about it and not sending a servant with this message?” Shining berated Flash. “Time is of the essence, Captain.” He made the word “Captain” sound like an insult. 

Flash’s lip curled revealing gritted teeth for just a fraction of a second. 

“My unit has gone ahead of me, along with two full reserve divisions to the attack site.” Flash squared his shoulders and looked down his nose at his Prince. “I came here to personally make sure the royal party didn’t follow us into danger again.”

“And you chose to prioritize your pettiness over leading your stallions into battle?” Shining stood up so quickly he knocked his wooden chair over. It must have been some strong oak because it didn’t crack or shatter. It just made a dull humm that echoed when it contacted the crystal palace floor. 

“I have full faith in my officers and soldiers to do their duty while they wait for me for a few moments.” Flash snapped back. “They are capable of following procedures and protocols, unlike you, sir.” 

Flash all but spit the word “sir” onto the floor.

Shining Armor’s eyes flashed with anger at the insubordination. His demeanor immediately changed as he charged forward towards Flash, commanding respect. “Lock it up, soldier. You are addressing a superior officer. You are hereby relieved of…” Shining began, but I couldn’t stand it anymore as I interrupted him.

“Shut up!” I screamed louder than I should have. Every servant in the Castle probably heard my voice. Both of them turned wide eyed at me like scared colts. I stood up swiftly and smacked my hooves on the table. My food plate wiggled a little bit.

“Both of you just shut up.” I controlled my voice, but the rage that boiled in my skin remained in my tone. “You’re not doing this right now. You are not squabbling anymore while our people are suffering.”

Shining Armor looked like he wanted to say something in his defense, but I didn’t let him.

“Let the Captain go do his job, Shining.  We will remain here and wait for the report.” I turned my attention to Flash. Shame, remorse, and a bit of shock filled his face. “If the Captain needs our assistance he will send for us, correct?”

“Yes, my lady.” Flash sheepishly bowed as he shifted his helmet to his side to get as low as he could. 

“Cadance…” Shining urged.

“Shining.” I countered firmly. “I need you here. With me.” One would have thought I had walked over and kissed him with the look now plastered on his face. 

“Right, very well.” Shining snapped out of his anger. He cleared his throat. “Get flying, Captain. Be sure to report everything back to me in excruciating detail. No matter how insignificant, I want to know everything.”

“Yes, my lord.” Flash actually bowed to Shining. Not as low as he did for me, but I was amazed that he did at all. Not to mention he called him “my lord.” Flash donned his helmet and made his way to the double doors he had slammed open. 

“Flash.” Shining added and the Captain turned his neck to glance back. “Happy hunting.”

Flash grinned back, curling his muzzle up a bit. He was a good match for Twilight. They both had a natural cuteness in their expressions. 

“Yes sir!” He saluted and darted off towards what could have been a dangerous battle.

“I’m sorry I yelled.” I sat back down feeling self conscious. A passing servant gently closed the dining hall doors shut, and I couldn’t help but notice his wary glance in my direction. I had probably just given them plenty more gossip to chew on.

“Nah.” Shining dismissed my apology as he knelt down to pick up his chair. “I needed that. We needed that.” He scooted his seat up to the table and sat down. “We always let our disagreements get out of hoof.” He rested his elbows on the table and stared thoughtfully with his hooves in front of his face.

“Why does he make you so mad? What’s the deal with you guys?” I leaned my head against the back of my crystal chair. A soft cushion was embedded at the top of the backrest to do exactly that. “Is he not a good Captain or something? It seems like he knows what he’s doing.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, he does.” Shining admitted. “He’s a great Captain, actually.”

“As good as you were?” I smiled so deviously that I felt like Pell. 

“Let’s not go crazy.” He grinned back at me before sighing. “We just clash because we have different ideas about how to do things.”

“It has nothing to do with his feelings for Twilight?” I asked and his face dropped. I grimaced at the sudden mood change. 

“I don’t want to talk about that.” His voice was a low baritone and much quieter. 

“Why? Is that going to be a problem?”

“What do we do now?” He changed the subject. “It’s agonizing to just sit here and do nothing.” He stared down at his half eaten plate.

“We eat. Together.” I picked up my fork and dug it into my eggplant parmesan. He stood there and watched me eat a few bites, not saying a word. “We’re useless to our people if we’re too tired and hungry to function.” I added as my appetite returned to me and I dove into my plate. I was quickly catching up with Shining Armor. 

“I think I may be full.” Shining started to push his chair back to stand.

“Your mind is full, not your stomach. Eat your food.” I commanded, not even looking at him. 

“Oh really?” Shining raised his eyebrow at me. “And what happens if I don’t?”

I paused scarfing my food to glare at him with an intensity that rivaled Flash Sentry. He just stared back with calm amusement. Maybe a bit of mischievousness shining through.

“Then you’ll insult the chef and all the servants will talk bad about you behind your back.” I continued shoveling food into my mouth. The flavor was better and better with each bite. Maybe it was the conversation.

“You’re trying to convince me to eat with the threat of idle servant gossip?” he teased.

“Maybe. Is it working?” I fired back. 

Shining picked up his fork. “We do have a reputation to uphold after your little complimentary speech to the head chef earlier. Wouldn’t want all this good food to go to waste.”

I smiled into my bite. “I’m glad you see it my way.”

Shining Armor threw his head back and cackled out loud. That same warm laugh again. I was starting to enjoy the sound. We both carried on with our meal in relative silence. The worry of waiting for potentially more grim news was loud enough to fill the room. 





****

> Chapter 7
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Crystal Castle halls were silent, but my mind was screaming with thoughts. It had been hours since Captain Flash had left to chase after the attacking Changelings. It would probably be too late once they got there. It was too late last time. The hive was fast. They got in and out before a response could be mustered. We would need to have guards closer to the attack. But, how would we know their next target? We didn’t have enough soldiers to station at every town and village. That’s why Shining Armor had requested reinforcements from Equestria, to which Celestia had frustratingly declined. 

We were on our own.

Shining and I had retired to one of the many lounges to discuss all of these points. We talked in circles. So many ifs and unknowns made it impossible to come up with a coherent plan. After a while, I felt so stifled that I had to get up and move around. Shining seemed to understand as I excused myself from the room. I wandered the halls aimlessly, taking in the decorations. The castle was enormous. There were so many levels built vertically to make better use of space. The artwork in the halls consisted of various paintings, tapestries, sculptures, and crystal manageries. All of them were unique. No matter how many different halls and levels I explored, I never saw the same piece twice. The talent on display was endless and magnified by the majesty of the architecture itself. The servants noticed I was seemingly looking for something, and I was asked if I needed assistance several times. Eventually they got the message that I was just roaming. No one had bothered me for some time. Except for the occasional smile and head nod/bow. 

I was lost in thought for so long, I almost didn’t notice the sudden bustling of movement in the hallways. Servants were scampering around and chatting loudly. Some relaying instructions, delegating tasks, and giving orders. I tuned in to pay attention to one conversation and heard that the royal guard had returned from the attacked village. How long had they been back? Was Flash already meeting with Shining Armor? I needed to get back to him now. I was pretty sure I knew which level I needed to head to. I asked a passing servant just to be safe.

“Excuse me, where is Prince Shining Armor and Captain Flash Sentry?” The servant bowed and then blinked at me, somewhat confused. 

“My lady,” The emerald crystal pegasus said. “Shining Armor is two floors down in the west lounge of that level.” He hadn’t moved in all the time I had been walking. I guess there wasn’t really anything else to do while waiting. I wanted to move, and he wanted to sit still. Different coping mechanisms I supposed. “From what I understand, Captain Flash Sentry briefed Prince Shining Armor on the… events of the town.” He avoided calling it an attack. I suppose it was unpleasant to think about your home being a war zone. “However, the Captain is not with the Prince anymore.”

I had missed the briefing. Some Princess I was. I spent so much time spacing out, I didn’t even notice when I was needed. 

“Where is Captain Flash now?” I asked and the smooth haired servant flustered. 

“Forgive me, my lady. I am not certain.” He bowed with a slight twitch. My tone must have been too harsh. 

“No worries.” I smiled at him as he met my gaze again. “Thank you for your help.” He seemed relieved as I left him in the hallway. I would just have to go back to the lounge and hear the briefing from Shining. On the way to the closest staircase, I passed a door I had probably passed several times this night. It was an unassuming door without much fanfare in its craftsmanship compared to other rooms. It was a storage closet, but it was cracked for some reason. I didn’t see any light coming from inside, and it seemed weird that a servant would just leave the door ajar. They were usually so meticulous with everything. I guess no team is perfect. 

With my curiosity sufficiently peaked, I went to inspect the closet. I pulled it open and gasped as the hallway light revealed what was inside. Not just what, but who. There was Flash Sentry out of his armor, and Twilight Sparkle leaned against a cabinet with cleaning supplies on it. It was an odd enough sight that was enhanced by the fact that Flash’s tongue was firmly planted into Twilight’s mouth. I had literally caught them necking in a broom closet. The romance only lasted another split second as they turned in horror to see me staring down at them. 

“Cadance!”

“Princess!” They said at the same time. Twilight pushed Flash off of her and jumped to her hooves. Poor Flash was caught off guard and he smacked into a rack knocking over a broom and mop. 

“I’m sorry Flash! I just…” She shifted her front hooves. “Cadance, we were just…” Her eyes darted, not willing to look directly at me. “I was…”

“You were having a good time, it looks like.” My mouth was gaped open, and I couldn’t contain the huge smile on my face. Good for Twilight, going after her stallion. I was actually proud of her. She looked ashamed, though, as her cheeks warmed into a bright maroon against her lavender fur. 

“Princess.” Flash had gotten back up unfazed. He knelt before me with his head bowed. Royalty came with so much drama it seemed. “Please forgive my… my…

“Your what?” I laughed in front of him. “Is making out a crime?”

“I…” His cheeks burned red against his yellow fur. Both of them were just too precious for words. Acting like naughty children caught in an indecent act, when they were both adults who could make their own decisions.

“Please don’t tell anypony what you saw!” Twilight begged. She got on her knees as well with her front hooves in a praying motion. Both of them were kneeling to me at the same time. Perhaps the whole world would bow before me if I just asked. 

“I mean, sure, but why?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Is there a law against a Princess dating a royal guard?” They exchanged a nervous glance, but quickly turned away blushing more. 

“Well, no, not specifically but…” Twilight began.

“Is it a social faux pa? A taboo?” I asked and they both stammered. 

“It would certainly be a hot topic for gossip. But it’s not against court etiquette or anything.” Flash said. His eyes looked like he still expected some type of punishment. Probably from Shining Armor more than me. My eyes widened in realization.

“Because of Shining Armor.” I said and they both nodded slowly. “Well it’s not exactly up to him is it? You two should do what you want.” I tapped my hoof in protest. The closet was beginning to feel stuffy and claustrophobic. 

“Well…” Twilight began.

“We just don’t want to make him upset.” Flash finished as they continued to complete each other's sentences.

“And we also don’t want…”

“The attention…”

“Or the gossip…”

“It’s embarrassing.” They finished together. It was nauseatingly adorable.  

“Gotcha.” I nodded my head. I still couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. “So, you’re just really private about it. I’m sure the servants can arrange a meeting room and keep everyone away from it. You could do whatever you want in that room, free from prying eyes.” My grin went crooked to one side. They snapped to look at each other. I could sense the intense desire in their expressions for a brief moment before they turned away again. The love magic flowing between their essences was rich and intoxicating. Maybe I was getting some of my love magic abilities back. 

They both glowed red with embarrassment. I waited for one of them to reply to my suggestion, but they both just mumbled uncommitted partial sentences. 

“I promise I’ll keep your secret.” I rolled my eyes and decided to change the subject. “Twilight, I thought you left for Equestria. Weren’t you recalled by Celestia?”

Twilight gasped for a second before covering her mouth with her hoof.

“I was.” She rubbed her shoulder with her hoof. “I am. I was just… delayed.”

“Delayed, huh?” I cocked my eyebrow. “That sounds familiar.”

“I was all packed and waiting for the next train out of the Crystal Empire. I didn’t feel like flying all the way back to Equestria, and I wanted some time to myself to think…” She started, but closed her mouth tight. As if she was afraid of what she might say next.

“But then…” I prodded. 

“Then the Changeling attack happened.” She looked over at Flash, much more serious this time. “I saw the pegasi royal guards flying at top speed, and knew it could only mean one thing. So I followed them to the attack site.”

“I didn’t realize Twilight was the one I needed to worry about breaking protocol.” Flash narrowed his eyes at Twilight. He tried to look annoyed, but the energy passing between their essences told me otherwise. 

“I had to do something!” Twilight argued back to him. It felt like I was watching a rerun of this particular conversation. “I couldn’t just board a train, and relax with a coffee while ponies were in danger.” Twilight huffed her chest out, ready to defend her actions to the end. She truly was a dedicated Princess who cared about all of ponykind, regardless of boarders or kingdom names. 

“Sweet Celestia, you’re just like Shining Armor.” Flash Sentry replied dryly, but his face turned to panic when he saw how hurt Twilight’s expression looked.

“Is that?...” She looked and sounded so meek. “Is that a good thing?” Her cute pouty face spelled trouble for Flash. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he did his best to avoid my stare as he swallowed a lump in his throat. 

“Well, in this case…” He said. Bad start. Twilight didn’t like the qualifier on his opening. Her eyes got wider and more hurt. If he screwed this up, I had half a mind to ream him myself. “It’s a good thing of course.” Correct answer. His smile seemed to calm her down. “You’re both noble ponies, who want to protect everypony. It’s admirable.” Nice recovery, Flash. I couldn’t help but nod approvingly. 

“Y-you think I’m admirable?” Twilight shuffled her back hooves and rubbed her right front hoof over her left. 

“Y-yeah.” He rubbed the back of his blue coiffed mane. I wasn’t sure if it was a lame way he styled it or if that jagged pomp and flow was just really good helmet hair. “Of course I do.” He ran his hoof through his hair. He was cute in a boyish way. Not the rugged, mature himbo that Shining Armor was. It turned out I had a type, and it was definitely Shining Armor. I guess my memories remembered my taste in stallions. That would have been awkward.

Twilight reached out her hoof towards Flash. Her movement was so timid, it was like watching in slow motion. Flash reached out and took her hoof into his. They kept looking at each other with goofy smiles until they couldn’t stand it and looked away. This went on for several seconds.

“Well aren’t you two just too cute for words.” I giggled and they looked at me with pouty and embarrassed faces, which made me laugh out loud harder. The Equestrian Princess of Friendship, and the Crystal Empire’s Captain of the royal guard couldn’t even hold hooves without blushing like foals. “Would you like me to leave, and close the door so you can get back to it?”

They jumped with such a start, I thought they were gonna fall face first while hoof in hoof. Twilight probably would have fallen, but Flash got his footing and stabilized both of them. If they had actually started falling I would have helped too. Probably. 

“Well…” Flash swallowed again. His love magic radiated intensely in his essence. Twilight’s essence reciprocated. “I am off duty until tomorrow morning so…” Twilight cut him off in more ways than one. 

“I really do have to get back to Canterlot.” She said, and Flash looked deflated. “I’ve ‘delayed’ too long.” She gave air quotes with her hooves as she said “delayed.” 

“Right now?” Flash’s gaze was filled with wishful thinking. “Like, right now, right now?” 

“I’m sorry Flash.” She squeezed his hoof for good measure before letting it go. “There’s no trains scheduled until tomorrow. I think I’m going to just fly. I can’t sleep anyway, and I have too much pent up energy.” Her face grew bright red as she realized the way she phrased that. My face was getting sore from grinning so much. 

“You’re going to fly that far at night?” Flash looked flabbergasted. “With a Changeling threat out there? It’s not safe. I’m sorry Twilight, I have to put my hoof down on this one.”

“Are you trying to order me around, Captain?” Twilight’s eyebrow furrowed as her true Princess form came out. “In direct violation of Celestia’s orders? You’re out of your league here, Flash. Especially if you’re only saying this so that you can…” Flash interrupted her before she could finish that sentence. 

“It’s my job to ensure the safety of the royal party.” He stomped his front hoof. “I have authorization to overrule a head of state if their behavior leads them into potential danger. It says so in the Allied Equestrian Kingdom doctrine page 74 para-” Twilight interrupted him too.

“I know the paragraph and subsection you’re referring to.” She stomped her front hoof back. “You don’t have to quote it to me. I’ve read it many times.” She would have. My poor little love struck bookworm loved her dry reading materials. As much as I enjoyed witnessing their lover’s spat, I decided I would wingpony for Flash a little bit.

“Flash, why don’t you escort her to Canterlot?” Both of their heads turned to stare at me. I could hear the gears turning in their minds. “It’s too dangerous for a head of state to fly alone, so who better than the brave and intrepid Captain of the guard to ensure her safety?” I winked at Twilight as I embellished Flash. 

“I-I wouldn’t mind.” Twilight said as the shy little foal in her came back out to play. 

"But what about the Changeling threat here?" Flash pointed to the floor. "I can't just leave while the Empire needs me."

"We'll survive for a day or two until you fly back." I shrugged. "Besides, until we figure out how to catch the Changelings in the act before they can vanish, we’re basically just helping the town clean up and taking care of wounded and love drained. It feels like chasing shadows."

"You're telling me." Flash shook his head in solidarity. “Uh, well…” Flash scratched the back of his scalp. “I suppose that an escort for the Princess would be sufficient, but…”

“But what?” I rolled my eyes at his hesitation. This was your chance, dummy.

“If I’m…” his eyes landed on Twilight again. “Romantically involved with a VIP. I’m not permitted to serve as her personal guard or escort. It’s also in the doctrine.” He frowned at Twilight and she nodded with regret on her face. I sighed so loudly they looked at me a bit taken aback. 

“Ok, but nobody knows you’re romantically involved, remember.” I made air circles with my hoof, hoping these two rules lawyers would catch on. Not everything can be done by the book at all times. 

“But you know, Cadance.” Twilight pointed to me, and I was just about ready to give up on them. 

“Yes, but…” I sighed out loud again. “Do I really have to spell this out for you two?” I tapped my hoof against my forehead in frustration. The smell of the cleaning chemicals in this closet started to nauseate me. 

“If Princess Cadance is keeping our secret…” Flash began, and I perked up. 

“Then there’s no romance.” Twilight finished, and I wanted to jump around in celebration. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no room to do that in this stupid closet. The ceiling was too low, and there were shelves everywhere, leaving no elbow space. This had to be the worst possible spot they could have picked to get frisky. Even a bathroom would have been preferable. The servants kept them exceptionally clean. 

“I’ll do you one better.” I pointed straight at Flash, trying to pull out my best Princess voice. “Captain, I order you to escort Princess Twilight back to Canterlot Castle.” 

Flash instantly straightened his posture and saluted me.

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” He said sharply. His face tried to look professional and serious, but he was obviously pleased as punch to receive the order.

“I guess we’ll say goodbye for real this time.” Twilight rubbed my shoulder and I took her hoof into mine. “Are you sure this is ok? What if Shining Armor doesn’t approve of the escort mission?”

“I’ll worry about Shining Armor. You two just fly fast, alright?” My smile faded a bit as a troubling thought crossed my mind. “Have you found anything in your research that could help me get my memories back?”

“N-not yet.” Twilight looked away in shame. There was something she wasn’t telling me. I had seen her hesitate to admit troubling details enough times in two days to tell.

Two days? It was still bizarre to think I only had two days worth of memories. It felt like so much more time had passed since I woke up from my coma. 

“Well, good luck.” I did my best to reassure her with my smile. “I’ll be researching everything I can too.”

“I love you, sister in law.” Twilight embraced me with a warm hug, yet I couldn’t help but wince.

“Do you have to add the ‘in law’ part?” I stayed in her embrace, squeezing back tightly. 

“Well we are sisters in law.” She defended, as if I was trying to argue or something.

“We are, but it just sounds so formal and impersonal.” I pulled away to look into her eyes, still holding her by the shoulders. “We’re sisters. Doesn’t that sound much nicer?"

“Sisters.” Twilight repeated with a nod. “I love you, sis.” She hugged me one more time and I melted into her touch much more naturally. 

“I love you too, sis.” I said and meant it. Twilight was my family. I knew it already. I had felt it in our essences, but I hadn’t felt it this strongly until now. 

After a long lingering moment, Twilight let go and walked out of the broom closet before darting down the hallway.

“Let’s go, Flash!” her voice was already getting further away. “We’re on a tight schedule.”

“Wait, I have to grab my armor!” He shouted after her, standing in the doorway before turning back to face me. “Thank you, Princess. I owe you one.” He bowed to me. Somehow his bow was more personal than the other servants and subjects. Pell’s bows were almost sarcastic, yet still genuine.

“You owe me nothing, Flash.” I shook my head as he got back up. “Just take good care of my sister, promise?” I grinned at him like a friend, not a ruler.

“I will cherish her, and protect her with my life.” He looked dead serious like the Captain he was.

“A bit dramatic, but I’ll take it.” I walked up and slapped him on his shoulder like it was a locker room. He looked shocked for a moment, before chuckling.

“Thank you. I’ll take care of her… Cadance.” He dashed off after Twilight before he could regret using my name instead of my title. I hoped he would use my name more often when we weren’t on duty. I was beginning to like my name.





****

> Chapter 8
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My lady, where are you going?” Pell asked, and I turned to face her. How did she always manage to find me in this huge palace? The archway behind me led to the balcony where we made our announcement to the Crystal Ponies. The announcement was only yesterday, but somehow felt like a lifetime ago. Actually, it was half of my known life ago. It was impossible to get accustomed to. Being two days old. Two days worth of memories in a body that knew so much more. Surrounded by ponies and a husband who knew more about me than I did.

Hence my desire to seek out a few quiet moments to myself. 

“To the balcony.” I said, wondering if it was a trick question. There was only one possible place to go on the other side of this archway.

“There’s a pegasi rain shower scheduled tonight.” She said with her left brow curved upward. “It will begin any moment.”

“I know.” I replied, letting the weight of everything I had felt over the last two days fall onto those two words. She softened her expression, grinning knowingly.

“Have a good shower, my lady.” She bowed her head and continued on down the hallway. Probably to inform the other servants not to disturb me for a while. I appreciated her attention to reading my mood without me having to say much more than that. 

I stepped onto the balcony that faced the center of the town square. The view was arguably more beautiful at night. The city was lit up like holiday decorations. Twinkling along with the stars above. The different colors of the semi opaque crystal buildings glowed warmly from the lights inside people’s homes, stores, and offices. Ponies were probably winding down from dinner, enjoying some quality time with loved ones indoors and away from the gathering rainstorm. Perhaps playing with children, or drawing up plans for the next big project to fulfill their dreams. Perhaps they were making love. Whatever they were doing, the love from their combined essences sent magic to the Crystal Heart many floors above my head. The Crystal Heart powered their homes and protected them in return. A perfect unity of love earned and reciprocated. 

I looked up at the dark cumulonimbus clouds above the town. The pegasi weather crew had gathered and cultivated the clouds themselves. A weather system that worked on a round the clock schedule, made to maximize agriculture and bring about bountiful harvests. 

It was more than that. The Crystal Empire needed a good cry, just as much as any pony did from time to time. Emotions build up and can overpower a creature if they don’t release them. This land was just as alive as any person who dwelt within it. It had a breathing essence that I could feel emanating from the Crystal Heart. This Empire had been hurt, and it was time for a good and powerful cry. Then we could rise tomorrow morning refreshed with the sun stronger, and ready to take on what threatened us all: stop the Changelings from being a blight upon this land.

The stars were almost covered in clouds, but enough evening glow showed through to see the edges of the cloud’s fluffy curves. They looked soft and intimidating at the same time. The clouds covered every inch of the capital and several miles beyond. I would have guessed that it took every pegasi in the capital to make such a massive rainfall. The weather team was incredibly efficient, and competent at what they did. Everyone in this kingdom was talented and able it seemed.

Everyone except me.

I was half a pony. An alicorn cut off from her own power. I could sense love essences, but I was powerless to manipulate them. I was supposed to be able to heal these ponies. My ponies. Cadance could ease their suffering and make them whole again faster once they had been drained. I wanted to help them, however, I was just a spectator to my own kingdom. A useless pony surrounded by luxury I couldn’t hope to earn or deserve. 

So, with those thoughts running through my mind, I needed a good cry and a rainfall to hide it. Tomorrow was a new day, and I would never stop searching for a way to help. A way to recover my magic and memories. And, if I failed, I would find a new way to help them. I would never give up on my people or my family. Not when they had given me so much in so little time. 

Lightning flashed high above my head. Barely a moment later the thunder sounded, filling up my ears with its crack and roar. I looked up to see the first rainfall. A few large drops for a few short seconds, until it flowed like a waterfall. I closed my eyes and let the droplets pour across my spine to my flank, then down to my hooves and tail mane. My hair was instantly ruined. At least as far as Pell’s styling work it was. I felt my damp mane matte to my cheeks and neck. The cleansing water was gentle and healing as I released all of my bad thoughts into the storm. I might have been shedding my own tears, but it was difficult to tell while standing in the torrential downpour. For a few precious moments, the rain was all I felt, smelled, and heard. Nature’s own cleansing. I let my shoulders droop, my head sag, my posture loosen. Bliss. Quiet bliss. 

 “Cadance?” Shining Armor’s kind and concerning voice woke me from my trance. I’m not sure how long I had stood in the rain, though I imagine it was at least half an hour. “Are you alright?” His mane quickly collapsed and hugged the side of his cheeks as well. He’d walked out into the downpour to check on me. 

“I’m fine.” I smiled, though I knew I couldn’t hide the troubling thoughts on my face. 

“Fine?” He grinned back. “You’re standing outside in the middle of a downpour.” He gestured to the sky just as lightning flashed and thunder erupted behind it. He winced a bit at the sound. He tried to hide his reaction, but I saw it. 

“The lightning won’t hurt you.” I tried to change the subject. “The pegasi design the lightning to…”

“I know, I know…” He interrupted me. “It’s made to disperse in the sky so that it doesn’t endanger any crazy ponies who may be roaming around outside in the middle of it.” He shook his head at me. He was equally as soaked as I was. “I remember my grade school weather classes.”

“Then why did you flinch?” My grin twisted sideways. He narrowed his eyes, staring at me for a few seconds. 

“I’m worried about you.” He said, not answering my question.

“I’m fine.” I repeated. “I just like the rain. It’s soothing.”

“Sure, but…” He struggled to find his next words. “I think you’re taking too much responsibility on yourself. You need to give yourself a break. Healing takes time.”

“They should be healing faster.” I glared out at the tops of the multicolored crystal buildings. 

“I meant your healing.” He sighed. “See, this is what I’m talking about.” He reached out to grab a clump of wet hair that was covering my eye. I allowed his touch as he moved it aside, revealing the rest of my face. 

“Did the royal guards find any clues in the aftermath of the attack?” I refused to remain on the subject of me. I didn’t want to talk about myself at the moment. Fortunately, Shining Armor took the bait on this one.

“Not really. We know the hive is in the mountains somewhere.” He took in a deep breath. “But, if we go on the assault, they may counter attack the capital while we’re trying to find the hive. Every potential solution is risky, including doing nothing. Either way, we risk losing more towns and citizens.”

“Maybe Captain Flash could…” Shining cut in again, and this time it made me absolutely livid.

“I’m going to court martial Flash tomorrow.” His stone solid eyes dug into me. I could barely control my bubbling rage. So many thoughts boiled to my mind, yet I ended up just curtly asking,

“Why?”

“He absconded with my sister!” His teeth gritted, and I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. 

“Absconded?” I repeated quietly. It was either muted speech or screaming. I was too mad to find an in between voice. I figured he would misread the situation, but I didn’t think he would be this short sighted about it. 

“He abandoned his post to ‘escort’ the Princess back to Canterlot.” He put air quotes on “escort.” 

“He didn’t abandon his…” I started to explain as he interrupted again. It was all I could do not to smack him across his square and chiseled jaw. 

“He didn’t ask permission to leave his post in the middle of a crisis. And to make it worse, he convinced Twilight to fly in dangerous skies when she could just take the train back to Equestria.” Shining ran his hoof through his wet and sloppy mane. “He’s stepped out of line one too many times. I can’t ignore his behavior anymore. And he’s endangering my sister in the process. I have half a mind to…”

“I ordered him to escort Twilight!” I screamed in his shocked face. “You pig headed, macho meat brained, sack of garbage!” Ok, that was too far, but I really needed to get that off my chest.

“You ordered this?” He said softly, ignoring my insults. “Why?” His vulnerable eyes looked so hurt.

“Twilight was delayed because she went to help the guard with the Changeling assault earlier today.” I relaxed my tone, but I could feel my tightened facial muscles. My expression was still harsh. 

“Oh…” Shining looked at the balcony floor for a second. “I thought he delayed her so that he could pull this escort crap.” He rubbed the back of his mane again. 

“Who told you that?”

“Well…” He swallowed as if he didn’t want to admit something. “I asked a servant where Flash was when I couldn’t find him, and they told me he was escorting Twilight…” He paused as I waited for more.

“That’s all they said?” I asked, raising my left eyebrow. 

“Well yeah, but then I reasoned that Flash must have…” It was my turn to interrupt him.

“You just assumed the worst possible scenario since that fits your poor opinion of Captain Flash.” I tapped my front hoof, waiting for his reply. He remained silent.

“Why do you hate him so much?” I shook my head.

“I don’t hate him.” Shining threw his hoof up in frustration.

“Could have fooled me.”

“You just don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?” I leaned into his face, until my face was just a few inches from his.

“I’ve been in the military a long time. I know what soldiers like Flash are like.” He looked at me as if I would cut in. When I didn’t, he continued. “They act all nice and cool. They make friends with everypony, and seem like a great all around guy.”

“You’re right. I hate him already.” I huffed. 

“But, it’s all an act.” Shining narrowed his eyes at me in anger, as if he were talking to Flash. “He pulls the highest caliber tail he can find…”

“Tail?” I raised my eyebrow.

“Yeah, that’s what the soldiers would call mares in private.” His face looked lost in memory, disgusted at the behavior he recalled from his time in the service. “He wants my sister as a trophy, and as soon as he’s done with her, he’ll dump her for the next cute flank that catches his eye.”

He was serious. He really thought Flash was that kind of shallow service colt. He had no idea what the truth was. Probably because he refused to see it. He was too busy being overprotective of his little sister. Besides, he’d caught the eye of a Princess. Not much better “tail” than that. 

“Flash isn’t like that.” 

“How do you know?” His stare hurt. I knew because of what I’d seen in the closet. I felt the love vibes between them. If it was just sex he was interested in, his essence would have felt different. Even without my love magic sense, my intuition told me the same from his behavior and demeanor. 

“I…” I couldn’t reveal what I saw in the closet. I was sworn to secrecy. Plus, it would just set Shining Armor off more if he heard about it. “I can just tell. I’ve talked to him.” 

“No offense, Cadance.” He scoffed at me. This jerk scoffed in my face. “You only have two days worth of interactions with him. I’ve known him for years. I find it hard to believe that…”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I lost my cool as I felt my magic erupt. A brilliant glow emanated from my body as if I were the latest flash of lightning in the storm. His eyes widened as my magic drifted over to him, settling on his face, connecting us. I didn’t quite know how my magic worked, and I didn’t want to attack him. I held it back as much as I could. As long as it was just a glowing light show, I could make my point.

“I am the Princess of Love!” I declared as my magic added an echoing reverb to my voice. “I may be a broken, half version of my true self. But I can read the love essences of anypony I meet. What I see and feel in Flash Sentry is genuine and true love.” 

His eyes looked tired and weak as he stared up at me and my power. Starring up because I could feel myself floating a few inches above the balcony deck.

“You want to believe the worst in Flash because you’re too afraid to let your baby sister grow up. She’s not a little filly anymore. She’s a Princess of Equestria. You have no right to interfere in her life or her love. Trust that she’s making her own good decisions. She deserves that much from her older brother.” I released my magic and gently set myself back down on the white marble floor. I waited for him to get mad and argue back.

“I’m sorry.” was all he said. His sad eyes full of guilt. “I didn’t mean to imply you were weak or broken.”

‘Well, you did.” I over did it again. I couldn’t be subtle or let anyone off the hook. I had this curse of saying whatever I truly felt no matter what the consequences were. Maybe because my previous life had no consequences for that.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated. “Do you really think Flash is… is…?” He stumblingly asked before I could forgive him for the perceived insult.

“A good match for Twilight?” I finished for him.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“It doesn’t matter.” I said and he looked confused. “Even if I’m wrong and you’re right about Flash, it’s Twilight’s life. It’s her mistake to make, and her heart to get broken. You don’t have the right to interfere. Even if you want to protect her, and care about her as deeply as I know you do. You can’t save a pony from living their own life.”

He considered my words for a few moments. His only response was to nod in agreement. It must have hurt too much to admit it outloud. 

“Do you really think that you’re broken?” His question caught me off guard. “Is that why you’re out here in the rain?” 

“You’re out here too.” I gestured to his soaking wet self.

“Answer the question, Cadance.”

“Fine. Yes, okay? I’m b-broken.” I looked at the ground, unable to hold his gaze anymore. Hopefully he didn’t catch that wavering in my voice.

“You’re not broken.”

“Yes I am.”

“With the magic you just displayed, you clearly are not.”

I waved his comment off. “It was a fluke. I assure you. I haven’t been able to harness any real magic since I woke up. Even when I need it the most. That’s the definition of broken.” 

“Then we’ll fix you.”

“How?” I looked at him with tears in my eyes. I don’t remember starting to cry again. However, this time, with an audience, I was self conscious about it. The mascara that Pell applied to my eyes had long ago melted down my face. Shockingly, Shining looked straight into my naked unaltered wet mug. No dresses, make up, or fan fare to hide me anymore. 

“Twilight will find a…” He started, but looked away. They were both hiding something from me.

“Twilight found something didn’t she?” I asked and his eyes widened in fear. “Something that neither of you want to talk about, so it must be bad news.”

“I… she…” he stammered.

“I’m not a child. I can take bad news. Just spit it out damn it!” I glared at him. He held his hoof over his mouth, lost in thought for a moment. 

“Twilight said…” He swallowed. “If a memory wiping spell had been cast on you, she could easily research a counterspell to undo that.”

“Considering she hasn’t done that, I’m guessing that’s not what happened to me then?” I tilted my head at him. 

“No, it’s not.” He shook his head, guiltily adding. “Twilight tried the counterspell while you were asleep last night.”

I raised my eyebrow, but said nothing. I didn’t like the idea of being experimented on while sleeping. However, I let him continue.

“Twilight says the only other thing it could be is a side effect from essence manipulation.” His face was neutral and unconcerned. He was a unicorn, but most unicorns didn’t deal with essence manipulation in their training. “In order to get your memories back, somepony would need to manipulate your essence to recover them, but…” He trailed off.

“Essence manipulation is incredibly dangerous.” I finished for him. “If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could permanently damage or kill a pony while messing with their essence.”

“That’s exactly what Twilight said.” He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “And the only pony in Equestria and the Crystal Empire versed in essence manipulation was…” 

“Cadance.” I finished for him. “In order to get my memories back, we need the magical knowledge from my lost memories.”

“A horrific catch twenty two.” Shining said. 

“Chrysalis could do it.” I casually remarked. Shining looked shocked so I explained. “Stealing love is essence manipulation. The Queen of Changelings would have to be an expert in it too.” I shrugged.

“Chrysalis would never-” He started, but I cut in.

“Unless we captured her and forced her to do it with a blade to her throat.” Even I was surprised at how calmly I suggested that. 

Shining Armor let out a surprised chortle before grinning. “I’ll keep that option on the table. Call it plan C.”

“What’s plan A and B?”

“Less blades to throats.” 

We nodded to each other, hiding half smiles. The rain picked up, falling so fast it felt like bathing in the open. It was a good thing the weather was warm this time of year. 

“Shining…” I began as my demeanor changed. “You need to consider the possibility that I may never…” 

“I loved you from the moment I first saw you.” Shining didn’t let me finish. This was the first of his interruptions that I didn’t mind so much. I felt my cheeks flush from his sudden remark. Pell warned me that this doofus would put his hoof in his mouth, and now his earnestness had piqued my interest. 

“Remind me. How did we meet?”

He smiled as if he won some sort of prize. It was my turn to bite on his subject change. He sighed, letting the memories of us wash over him. I couldn’t help but feel jealous. 

“We both attended Canterlot Academy.” He bit his bottom lip, grinning like an idiot. “You were a Princess, and Celestia’s niece. Basically the most popular mare in school. And I…” He paused for a moment.

“Let me guess.” I rolled my eyes, grinning sideways at his blissful expression. “You were captain of the hoofball team, and the most popular Stallion at school.”

“Nope.” His grin widened as he shook his head. “I didn’t play on any sports teams, and I was probably the biggest geek in school.”

“No way! You?” My jaw dropped as I looked up and down his toned and bulky figure. “Were you…” I tried to find a nice way to say it, “...fat back then?” I failed. He tipped his head back to let out a deep and boisterous laugh. I watched as the rain poured onto his handsome muzzle. 

“No, I was fit.” He raised his hoof and flexed for me. “Youth, workouts, and good genetics will do that for a stallion.”

“Lucky you.”

“My hobby of choice was Ogres and Oubliettes.” His cheeks turned pink against his snow white fur. “My buddies and I played in my parent’s basement all the time.”

I was almost too shocked for words. He really was a huge geek.

“You’re telling me you wasted that athletic body of yours on table top role playing games?” I raised my eyebrow.

“Hey!’ He said, playfully offended. “I was the greatest paladin a game master could ever ask for.”

“I’m sure you were.” I couldn’t help but giggle as I shook my head. “Do you still play?”

“Bi-weekly with the boys.” His smile suddenly faded. “Although I may cancel the next session while this crisis is going on.” He looked out over his kingdom. Some of the lights in the houses had gone dark. Families that had tucked their young in for sleep, and turned their lights off. It was getting late, and we had a big day tomorrow. Was it ever anything besides a big day for royals?

“You should play.” I said and he turned his head back to me. “We can’t solve this crisis if we let ourselves go insane from stress. We can set a few hours aside for you to play.”

He said nothing as he gave a single nod of acknowledgement. 

“So, how did we get together?” I wanted to hear the rest of the story. Maybe knowing more about my past would help me recover my memories. However, I mostly just wanted to experience my past through his eyes.

“Well, I was a loser and a nobody.” He began.

“Nobody who has friends is a loser.” I rebutted.

“True. Although, my social clout wasn’t much to speak of.” He bit his lip again. “You were being pursued by Buck Withers. The charismatic captain of the polo team. Polo was more popular in Canterlot than hoofball. With the homecoming game coming up, we were in a race to ask you to the dance.”

“So, we knew each other?  We were friends already?”

“Uh no, not really. Everytime I tried to talk to you, I couldn’t even get a complete sentence out.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re such a dork.” I rubbed my face in my hoof. 

“So I’ve been told. Twilight reminds me of it all the time, and…” He paused with a bitter sweet grin on his face. “...So do you.”

“Some things are universal truths, I suppose.” I grinned at him and he cracked up laughing again.

“Anyway, at the homecoming parade,” He continued his romantic tale. “In order to impress you, my buddies and I built a float inspired by our current RPG campaign. And we all dressed as our characters and formed a band. We performed a song written just for you. I was the lead singer, and…” he rubbed the side of his neck as his cheek turned a little bit pink. “Look I’m not the greatest singer in the world, but I belted that song like I was the main event at a Las Pegasus show.”

I did my darndest to hold in my laughter. It was the dumbest and sweetest thing I had ever heard. I may not have laughed in his face, but I know my eyes betrayed my every thought.

“Did it go over well?” I somehow managed to ask without chuckling. 

“We started to get some applause, but Buck and his friends made sure to loudly mock us. He turned the crowd against us. It was pretty humiliating.” Shining’s blissful expression didn’t match what he had said.

“Do you regret it?”

“I would perform that song live everyday to open ridicule if it meant winning you back.” He spat out quickly, forgetting himself. I felt my heart flutter with every word he stumbled out. “I mean… Not that I lost you erm… uh…” he rubbed the back of his head while looking at the floor. Splashes of water dripped out as his hoof ran over his scalp. 

“What did I think of the performance?” I mercifully let him move on before he tripped on any more words. 

“Well, according to what you told me later, you loved every second of it and wanted to be my special somepony.” He stated casually, which surprised me. I figured he would have declared that with a bit more triumph. 

“Oh ok, so I guess you just asked me to the dance right after that? Easy peasy?” I shrugged as he shook his head with a widening smile.


“Actually, Buck asked you to the dance first, and you said yes.” He looked at me with that cocky smirk on his face. How could a stallion be so confident and so insecure at the same time?

“What!” I was genuinely shocked, and completely sucked into his story. “Why? Was I conflicted? Did I like him too? High school mares can be fickle like that.”

“No, you couldn’t stand Buck, especially after he had made fun of me. You once told me that you secretly wished I had asked you to the dance.” He bit his bottom lip.

“How is that possible? Why didn’t I just ask you first?” I rubbed my face with my hoof.

“You thought about it, but Buck caught you off guard and asked in front of everypony. I guess you felt pressured to say yes, and weren’t sure if I was fully interested.” He shrugged.

“Even after that power ballad?” I raised my eyebrow, as he just nodded. “I guess we were both just dumb then.”

“It gets worse.” He pointed at me. “Apparently, you and Twilight had spent an entire night going over charts and analyzing how good of a match you and I would make. Charts that Twilight had made, of course. She was our biggest supporter.”

“I was already foal sitting for Twilight?”

“Yes.”

“So I was in your house, meeting you and your family, and you never managed to make a move at all? Or even start up a conversation to feel out if I was interested?” I threw up my hooves in protest.

“Correct. I couldn’t form a coherent sentence around you, remember?” 

“It’s a miracle we even got together at all.”

“Exactly.” His eyes looked into mine. He must have been remembering the mare he met all those years ago in school. How much different did I look now compared to then? “So you and Twilight had determined it was a done deal, but you swore Twilight to secrecy so I didn’t find out about that until much later.”

“What happened at the dance?” I couldn’t help but sigh audibly. 

“Well, my buddies and I hatched another plan, as our previous two had failed.”

“Two?” I tilted my head.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about the game. We tried to sabotage Buck in the polo game to make him look stupid, but it backfired. Our interference just made him look amazing. Our team won by a landslide.” He shook his head.

“So, you basically cheated for him.”

“I…” Shining looked caught off guard. “I never thought of it that way before, but I suppose you have a point.”

“Okay, that’s two failures, what was the third strike?” I crossed my front hooves, excited to hear the rest of his tale. 

“At the dance we tried to prank and annoy him so he would freak out and show his true colors.” 

“Completely logical and reasonable.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Was I that oblivious to his true nature?”

“No, he pretty much showed his true colors to you right away, and you never had any real interest in him at all. I kept myself up at night wondering why you said ‘yes’ to him.” Shining looked a little embarrassed to admit that.

“Well, please tell me I ditched him and we went home together.” I buried my hoof in my face and shook my head. 

“Long story short, yes we did.” He sighed, eyes lost in memory.

“Let me get this straight.” I held up my hoof. “I was in to you from square one, but you were too dense to realize it. So, you took the easiest layup imaginable, but made it so complicated and difficult for yourself that you almost ruined your chances entirely?”

“See!” He pointed at me with joy in his eyes. “It’s like you remember all along.” 

“My poor little idiot.” I boldly reached out my hoove to touch his face. I moved some of his blue mane out of his eyes until I rested my hoof under his cheek. He tilted his head into my touch, taking in a deep breath.

I’m not sure what came over me, but I leaned into him and kissed him on the opposite cheek that I was holding. He took in a short breath as my lips made contact with his facial fur. His eyes stared warmly into mine, wishing for more contact. More of my touch. Feeling a little shy myself, I backed off a half step.

“I get it.” I said as he felt the cheek that I had kissed with his hoof. “I may not remember it, but I see everything in you now that I saw back then.”

“Cadance.” His breathy voice whispered my name. I stood there waiting for him. Waiting for him to pounce on me, wanting more. Wanting his wife, and everything he had missed out on since my memories were stolen from me. From us. I was nervous, but I knew that I would probably let him. Would he go for it? Would he take me now? Would this fool let his heart get ahead of him, as Pell said, and would I be ready for him to?

“I didn’t have a voice back then, but I do now. Will you go out with me?” He asked like he wanted to know what I wanted for dinner. I just stood there blinking, not sure how to react to that.

“What?” I asked about as smoothly as his pick up game was in high school. 

“On a date.” He said it like it was obvious. “I-I was never confident enough to ask you directly back in school. So, I guess I’ll do it now. That way we can get to… we can…” He stammered, not wanting to finish his sentence. 

“Get to know each other?” I finished for him.

“We do know each other.” He said defiantly. His eyes showed that spark of royal leadership and conviction. “We just need a reminder.”

I nodded slowly, not sure if this was the best way to approach this. However, a date sure sounded fun.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Shining Armor.” I smiled warmly at him and he returned it looking like he might melt away. He moved towards me looking like he wanted to go in for the kiss. I trembled just a little bit as his face approached mine. He sensed my hesitation and redirected his muzzle to kiss me back on the cheek. I felt his lips on my fur, tempted to dive into his embrace as demand more. Before I could fall into desire, he backed away, looking at me with his boyish charm.

“Pick you up at eight?” He grinned out of the side of his mouth.

“It’s a date.” 

He bowed his head to me before leaving me alone on the balcony once again. The rain was starting to slack, and my body felt much warmer than when I started my open air shower.





****

> Chapter 9
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pick you up at eight” indeed. More like eight days later. We couldn’t find a single night to spend by ourselves for an entire week. Was it a week? I was losing track of days in the grind of our routine. Meetings after meetings upon more meetings. We had to strategize about the Changeling invasion, but that didn’t mean our regular royal duties stopped. The Empire still had to be run, and, on top of it all, I had to be re-taught my own day to day responsibilities along with Princess etiquette classes. Which also slowed us down. It was a miracle that we even had time to eat and sleep. Fortunately, the Changeling attacks had stopped after those first two.

For now.

Flash returned from “absconding” with Twilight, and instantly butted heads with Shining in just about every conversation they had. I was exhausted being in the room to mediate for those two meatheads constantly. At least they were keeping it civil. Ever since I screamed at Shining about Twilight on the balcony, he had kept his temper in check around Flash. Flash responded by keeping his cool as well. It also probably helped that I pulled him aside and said that if he kept disrespecting Shining to his face, I would just stand back and watch his butt get court-martialed. Everything was pretty smooth after that. It was a fake truce held together by fear of me, but smooth nonetheless. Flash ended up heading out on the larger perimeter patrol duty yesterday, and it was finally more relaxing in the castle. I was sick of the constant heightened tension, and both colts pretending they weren’t avoiding each other. I hadn’t seen him return since then, but he was probably just playing keep away again. Maybe he was nervous around me as well?

None of that mattered tonight. We were finally able to grab a few hours to go out to dinner in the city. No evening meetings were scheduled and we canceled anything that came up, claiming that we were already booked. Not untrue, though maybe a bit deceptive. Pell wrangled the servants to help make sure we were undisturbed. I told her to tell the head chef that our dinner on the town wasn’t a personal insult to him, and that he would always be my favorite chef. Apparently, he burst out laughing and told Pell he would find it in his heart to forgive me. Then he recommended a restaurant on the outskirts of the capital. It wasn’t the nicest side of town, but they served the best crepes he had ever tasted. Shining confirmed the recommendation, nodding his head quite enthusiastically at the mention of it. 

We decided not to make a reservation since it may draw a crowd if word got out that the royal couple were dining there. It was probably going to happen anyway, but this way we may have a quiet outing for a little while. I envied the Changeling’s ability to alter their appearance. Going in disguise would make sure no one bothered us. I loved mingling with everypony, though I was worn down from meeting new ponies all the time everyday. Always being on stage and needing to be presentable as a Princess. Shining suggested we put on hats, sunglasses, and long coats. I wasn’t into that idea. It seemed much lamer than just being recognized. Plus, we would look even more conspicuous, which would end up giving us away anyway. 

I sat on my heart pillow in the red room while Pell fixed up my hair much differently than normal. It was simpler than her usual stylings, yet there was something youthful and charming about it. She pulled it back into a pony tail, and tied it behind my ears with a quaint turquoise bow. I wore a violet dress that was long and slender with a high slit that revealed the Crystal Heart cutie mark on my hip. I was destined to connect with the Crystal Heart ever since it was magically imprinted on my flank when I came of age. I had a destiny and purpose that I could neither remember or control. I looked at my neck in the mirror as Pell placed a familiar turquoise necklace around me. Yet another Crystal Heart. Another reminder of what I couldn’t remember. 

Below my necklace was a pink pleated collar topping my dress and matching two of the three tones in my hair. Pell didn’t put my usual crown on. Probably because it would have looked cluttered and obscured the bow. My hair and outfit looked simple, yet elegant. 

Pell couldn’t stop grinning ear to ear. One might have thought she was the one going on a date.

“This is a new look.” I said, watching her through the mirror. 

“Actually it’s an old look.” She hummed quietly as she applied a light layer of powder to my face. Even my make up was much simpler tonight.

“Oh is it?” I tilted my head, curious. 

“Indeed.” She nodded, looking back at me in the mirror. “This is how you used to style your hair when you attended Canterlot Academy.”

The gears in my head started turning, as realization hit my face.

“I was hoping it would…” her smile mutated into a devious grin. “...spark something in Shining Armor tonight.”

“I…” My cheeks turned so red, I could feel the warmth in my face. “You’re a demon.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I’ve been called much worse, my lady.” She half bowed in her mocking manner. I wanted to banter back with her, but I just kept staring at the innocent looking pony in the mirror. Was that really me? It must have been at one point. I looked younger in this hair style, much more “cute” than “regal.” 

“Have you thought more about what you want?” Pell said, reading the thoughts in my expression as always. 

“I have, actually.” I ran my hoof through the pony tail. My tail mane was tied similarly with a matching bow. “And I do want him. I want to be with him.” I could tell Pell was being serious since she didn’t jump on the obvious innuendo. 

“But…” She let it hang in the air.

“I want him, but I’m not sure if he wants me.” As soon as I said it, it sounded dumb. “I mean…” Pell let me find my words, not interrupting. “He wants his wife back. He wants Cadance. But I don’t know how to be Cadance. No matter how long I spend trying. No matter how many things I learn about her. No matter how many years I get to practice, I don’t think I can ever truly be her without my memories. And I don’t know if he can accept that.”

Pell rubbed my shoulder, and I felt myself release some of my built up tension. I placed my hoof on top of hers. I had no memory of my immediate family or my childhood. I hoped that this is what it was like to have a mother. I felt so loved here. Not just by Pell and Shining Armor, but the entire kingdom. I was at home here, even though I grew up in Equestria. 

“I’m afraid he’ll wake up one day and the illusion will be shattered.” I continued, shaking my head. “He’ll realize that I’m someone else, and it will break him. I don’t want to think about what that will do to him. To us. To the Kingdom.”

“Then break him now.”

“What?” Pell’s flat tone shocked me.

“We all hope that you get your memories back, my lady.” She squeezed my shoulder firmly. “But, until you do, he has to realize that things are different. And it will hurt him much less now than many years down the road.”

“What should I do?” I thought for a moment. “Or rather, how do I do it? What do I say and when?”

“You should go on your date, and have a wonderful time. Make some new fond memories that both of you can remember.” Her eyes softened as her smile returned. “And then tonight, don’t wait, do it tonight.” Her voice was so forceful, I couldn’t help but nod back. “While you’re somewhere private, make him understand.”

“Make him understand.” I repeated softly. 

“You’ll know what to say when the time comes.” She patted my shoulder and gestured to the curtain that led to the hallway. “But for now, your Prince awaits.”

I stood up and turned to face her.

“Well, I am getting pretty hungry.” I walked toward the exit and Pell went ahead of me to pull the curtain open. “I suppose I can tolerate joining him for dinner as long as the food is good.” I curled my muzzle into a mischievous grin at Pell, and she returned it.

“The crepes are to die for.”

“So I’ve heard.” I rolled my eyes. “They better live up to everyone’s hype or I’ll be sorely disappointed.”

“Mhmm.” She mumbled as she held the velvet red curtain open, revealing the jagged crystal columns in the royal hallway. I opened my mouth to say something else, but she cut in first.

“Tonight, my lady.” She pointed at me accusingly. “Don’t wait.” Her expression was full of parental conviction.

“Right.” I looked away from her to continue down the hallway, to where I knew Shining Armor was probably waiting for me. I could feel Pell’s eyes on me as I went on my way.

I continued down the hallway lost in thought. The extravagant luxury of the castle, my home, blurred into background noise. Along with the nods and well wishes of the servants who saw me in the hall. Everyone knew what the royal couple were doing tonight. Many of them beamed with joy as they greeted me in passing, as if it were their own date. I can hardly remember if I smiled or greeted them back. I suppose I must have. No one seemed to be put off by my demeanor as I passed. My daze was finally broken by a familiar voice.

“Cadance?”

Shining Armor’s eyes widened with awe as he looked me over. Something childlike and wondrous crossed his face which soon shifted to a more primal and hungry look. He quickly caught himself, bringing his expression back to something more reasonably neutral. The charming and regal Prince of the Crystal Empire stared back at me, smiling with an air of confidence and pride. He wore a red velvet vest with gold trim. His usually sloppy mane was tamed and parted to the side. The back was combed into a wavy curl which rested on the side of his neck. 

He extended his hoof to me as I approached him, and I placed mine on top of his. He gently pulled me towards him until our muzzles were almost touching. My breath was taken from me as I was too afraid to breathe this close to him. I finally took in a breath, and his scent was like wooded amber. Was that a cologne he was wearing or his natural scent? I couldn’t remember what he usually smelled like, if anything. My mind went blank as I lost myself in his eyes. An elegant bliss until he spoke,

“You look so hot.” He blurted out. His charm evaporated into a goofy grin.

“Well, there goes your mystique.” 

“What?”

“Nothing.” I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, and I thought he might float away in excitement. I felt his muscles twitch under his skin at my touch, as his fur stood on end. 

“You remembered.” He stared at me with childish glee when I pulled back to face him again. 

“Remembered to kiss?” I asked as my cheeks went warm.

“No, I mean…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “That was great, but I mean the hair.” His eyes traveled down my pony tail and over my flank as well. 

“Pell remembered.” I looked away from his burning gaze.

“Remind me to give her a raise.”

“I won’t.” I rolled my eyes. Pell got the exact reaction she was hoping for. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was watching us from somewhere laughing. 

“You remember more than you think you do.” Shining said softly. I would have missed it if we weren’t pressed so close together.

I ducked my head slightly to hide the heat creeping up my neck. “Pell suggested we should go make new memories.”

Shining smiled at that, nudging me gently towards the door. “Let’s not disappoint her then. Or the other dozen eyes watching us right now.”

I snuck a glance over my shoulder, I couldn’t see anyone. But Shining was probably right.

“Shall we?” He asked, escorting me through the door and out into the early evening air. I nodded and let myself relax. 

The walk was quiet. The city was well after regular business hours, and the usual bustle had long since passed. I often enjoyed watching the commotion from the royal balcony, and this was my first time walking the streets myself. Citizens smiled and only waved at us - which was refreshing. How many ponies had Pell told it was our date night? It’s like they were purposefully leaving us alone. I had no idea where the restaurant was, so I let Shining lead the way and stuck close to his side. The street lamps were lit even though the sun wasn’t quite set. There was a lovely purple/pinkish hue to the evening light. The cobblestones beneath our hooves were echoing our steps. Lighting bugs flickered in flowering window boxes of the neighboring homes. Soft warm light pouring out from behind the interior curtains. I took it all in. It felt good to have my hooves on solid ground, and not up in a castle.   

I abruptly realized we had walked a few blocks in complete silence. Comfortable silence, but now that I recognized the quiet, it slowly turned awkward. 

“So… umm… How was your day, Dear?” 

Shining tripped on nothing and stumbled like my words had spooked him. “Dear?” Isn't that what he wanted? 

“Sorry, are we not doing pet names?” I cringed at my own sentence. I forced a smile to hide my discomfort. 

He collected himself quickly. “No, no, it’s fine. My day was fine. Everything’s fine.” I saw him swallow as he turned his head away from me. I thought I was awkward, and he was giving me a run for my money. 

I gave him a side smirk. “Are you nervous?”

He stared straight ahead putting one hoof in front of the other like walking a straight line was the most important thing on his mind. Or, he was clearly hiding something.

“You are nervous.” I teased. “Why are you nervous? I’m the one who should be nervous.”

He stopped walking and turned towards me. Truth pouring out of his mouth in a rush. “I guess it’s the fact that we haven’t done this in so long. Like a real date. Just us. And then you style your hair like that. And suddenly I’m back at Canterlot Academy all over again. Walking beside you like this and having to hold back.”

“Hold back?”

He nodded. “It made me remember what it was like.”

“What?” I urged him.

“To be the nerd in love with a Princess.” He admitted shyly. “Wondering if she’d ever look my way.”

I was stunned by his words. I felt my chest tighten and expand with every breath. Little butterflies in my stomach doing dances.

I am Cadance, I told myself. I could see why I fell for this stallion. I was falling all over again. Although, the new me liked to push his buttons. I offer him a mischievous smile.

“Aren’t you glad I looked?”

He grinned back. “Very much so.”

I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, as we continued to walk together. Our pace slowed like we were savoring every moment. “I’m glad too.”

I didn’t care how good the crepes supposedly were. This walk meant more to me. 

I almost didn’t hear the frantic beating wings until a pegasus slammed into the ground in front of us.

“My Lord, my Lady.” Flash Sentry stood before us with his wings spread full. His golden armor and yellow fur glowed in the late afternoon sunset from behind him. The low lighting made him look like a bronze statue staring down on us. 

“Flash?” I blinked incessantly at the imposing Captain. Something was different about him today.

“You must come with me quickly!” His furrowed brow eased as he gazed at us. Something was clearly troubling him.

“Flash.” Shining’s annoyance poured out of his mouth and into his words. “We're on our date. I told you not to bother us unless the situation was dire.” 

“You’re on a d-” Flash's momentary confusion vanished from his face as quickly as it arrived. “Of course.” He said with a bow, tucking his wings into his side. “I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but the situation is indeed dire.”

Flash bowed to Shining Armor, taking his eyes off of his Prince as he stared down at the sleek crystal road. “There has been an incident. It’s a lot to explain, but if you follow me…”

“Changeling test him.” I interrupted Flash and he jerked his head back up out of his bow.

“Princess?” His eyes widened as he looked my way. Shining looked surprised as well. Something about the way Flash spoke and acted seemed off to me. He was always polite and professional when he addressed royalty, at least until Shining did something to piss him off. He had also been minding his “Ps and Q’s” lately since I threatened to let Shining Armor follow through on one of his court martialing threats. Nothing he had said or done was particularly wrong, yet something felt off about him.

“What makes you say that?” Shining asked with a clam, but firm expression. It was difficult to describe it in words. Flash’s politeness was a little too polite. His bow was a little too low. He always kept Shining in his peripheral view, even when bowing. His urgency was too calm. Whenever Flash interrupted us with important bad news, there was usually something desperate and earnest in his voice. This Flash was lacking that. 

“Well…” How was I supposed to say it? It felt insane and paranoid just thinking it. “Just do it. Something feels off.” I had to hope Shining would trust me. 

“Maybe just to be safe, Flash?” He gave an apologetic nod to the Captain as he took a step towards him. Flash took a step back in response. 

“Is this really necessary?” Flash continued to backpedal from Shining’s approach. “T-time is of the essence. We need to get moving.”

“Get moving to where?” Shining’s brow furrowed and his eyes grew cold. 

“Uh, well…” Flash came to a halt when he backed into a street lamp. “North, uh… the incident is north and…”

“What incident? What happened?” Shining’s voice was eerily calm. None of the usual annoyance or banter was in his tone. 

“W-well… It’s a bit complicated. As I said, I’ll explain when we get there. There’s no time to waste.” Flash leaned against the black ash colored lamp post holding his hooves in front of him as Shining towered over him. 

“The spell only takes a second or two to cast. I could have done it several times since you started dodging it.” Shining Armor’s horn glowed with a magenta magical hue. I could sense from the spell energy that he wasn’t charging the Changeling test spell.

“I’m not dodging it!” Flash said a bit too loud. He cleared his throat and regained his composure, standing up tall again to look Shining Armor in the eye. “If you and the Princess think it’s necessary, then by all means.” He gestured to Shining with his hoof, as he donned an unconvincing smile. 

“Very good, Captain.” Shining powered down his spell. “By the way, Flash. How’s Twilight doing?” My jaw dropped at his question. Flash looked confused, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. 

“Princess Twilight?” The confusion filled his voice. “She’s doing well as far as I know.”

“Yeah, well I suppose you wouldn’t know, would you?” Shining called on his magic again. This time the spell was more intense and swelled with immense power. My eyes widened in fear of the destructive power Shining was prepared to summon. “This will only take a second.”

“Of course, my Lord.” Flash went to bow again, but it was a trick. He used the bow to hide himself prepping for take off. He sprung into the sky, spread his wings, and took off towards the edge of the city. I bent down and prepared to take off myself. Shining couldn’t fly and I assumed it would be me who would have to chase him. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Shining discharged his beam in the direction that Flash was flying. The heat coming off his horn caused vapor ripples in the air around him. I squinted my eyes at the brightness of the beam, which collided with Flash causing his body to ignite in a flaming magenta haze. He cried out as his wings failed and was sent careening back down to the crystal street. Before he hit the ground, his armor melted away and his fur turned into black, greasy skin. His golden wings were replaced with transparent ones as his body slammed onto the hard ground. Crystal did not make for a very soft landing. For a moment, I thought that Shining had killed him in midair. Or maybe the fall did. It wasn’t until I saw him squirming on the road that I realized that I was seeing the true form of a Changeling. 

He was hideous. 

His hooves were full of holes, and his mane was a burnt maroon. The greasy texture of his skin and hair looked like something out of a nightmare. I ran over to him as he rolled over. He looked up at me with fear, and something else I couldn’t place, in his eyes. His eyes were a solid dark purple. I could scarcely tell which way he was even looking as his iris and pupils melded into a gradient rather than a solid shape. 

“Curse you Shining Armor!” He screamed, as Shining came up to my side.

“That was an incredible shot.” I said with my eyes glued to the invader. It was surreal to see a creature so menacing, yet vulnerable and pathetic at the same time. 

Shining ignored my comment as he grabbed the Changeling by the neck. The creature groaned as Shining hoisted him off the ground. With one hoof, he held him up with his incredible strength. 

“Where are you holding Flash Sentry? How many others have you abducted and replaced?” Shining yelled in the Changeling's face. 

“I don’t remember.” The Changeling’s voice was raspy and strained. I couldn’t tell if it was how he naturally spoke or if he was affected by his injuries and Shining’s grip. Perhaps a little of both. 

The Changeling’s head swiveled to look at me, which only angered Shining more. “Don’t you dare look at her.”

The Changeling smirked and licked his bleeding lip. “Did I ruin date night?”

“Answer my questions, Changeling! You better start remembering before I make you forget everything.” Shining’s eyes darkened as he tightened his grip. The Changeling coughed and gargled as he was choked. His figure squirmed and struggled in vain.

“Shining.” I placed my hoof on his shoulder as he continued to ignore me. I had never seen him like this before. The anger. The hatred. Nothing about him was anything like the kind and dorky stallion I had seen just a moment ago. The one I had gotten to know in the short time I could remember.

The one I had fallen in love with.

“Tell me!” Shining screamed, releasing enough of his grip to let the Changeling speak. Instead of talking, the Changeling laughed. He cackled so loud it rang in my ears.

“You call yourself a Prince, but you are nothing but chattel to us.” His insidious laugh shook something inside of me. 

“Tell me where he is or else…”

“Or else what?” The Changeling interrupted Shining. “Do you have the stomach to do it, Prince?”

Shining’s neck stiffened under my touch. I could feel him trembling.

“Tell me what I want to know, and I’ll spare you.” His voice was so quiet it filled me with dread. 

“Does it occur to you to tell your lunch where the other vegetables are before you consume it?” The Changeling laughed in Shining’s face again. 

“I’ll give you one more chance.” Shining’s eyes narrowed as a vein bulged and throbbed on the side of his head. I looked around the crystal street, and saw many ponies watching the whole affair. Most of them were far away and trying to hide as they observed their Prince interrogate their enemy. Faces peered out of windows of the obelisk shaped shops and houses. Ponies dared to peek around corners and bushes, desperate to hide their presence, yet gazing all the same.

“Shining.” I called to him, but he just gritted his teeth as the Changeling cackled louder. His opaque eyes mocking Shining as if he were the captor. 

Sick of being ignored, I gripped his shoulder much like he held the Changeling.

“Forget him.” I commanded, finally catching his attention. His head swiveled to me, and for a moment, the hatred in his gaze pointed straight into me. It took all my self control not to reel from it. From him. “We have to go save Flash.”

“I can’t just let him go.” Shining’s hateful stare softened as his scowl remained. 

“I’m sure the guards are on their way. Let them take him prisoner.”

“What guards?” Shining yelled at me. He was stressed and not upset at me, but I didn’t like being yelled at. “They’re all engaged elsewhere. Or possibly captured by his kind.” Shining leered at the Changeling again. His smug face caused Shining’s shoulder to stiffen in my grip.

“Shining he-” 

“He can’t be allowed to leave here. I won’t let him claim another victim ever again. I have to…” Shining hesitated for a second. “I have to-”

“Kill him?” 

The dead air hung for a few seconds as the dirty deed was finally suggested out loud. Just the presence of that idea made the air smell foul and darken the essence of everyone around. 

“Don’t do it.” I whispered to him and squeezed his shoulder. I felt his muscles relax under my touch.

“What choice do I have?” With his meek question, he averted his eyes to the street. He did not loosen his grip on the Changeling.

“There’s always a choice.” I looked at the Changeling who stared at me with an expression I couldn’t place. “There’s always a chance to be better. Better than them.” I said that last part directly at the Changeling. 

“‘Better than us’, she says.” The Changeling scoffed at me. “I suppose the rumors are true.”

Shining shook him violently. “What rumors? What do you know?”

The Changeling’s eyes rolled around in his head as the dizziness slowly wore off. “The great Princess Cadence…” He looked past Shining and directly at me. “You really have lost your memories.” My heart froze for a beat as my brain washed over with panic.

“How could you possibly know that?” Shining shouted more than asked. There was no point in playing dumb. He said it so confidently.

“Oh, we know everything about you.” His cruel smile twisted to the side of one cheek. “All of you.”

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. I felt naked and exposed. Many Crystal Ponies in ear shot had heard him. It was an open secret within the castle walls, but now our enemies knew our weakness.

My weakness.

Did everyone already know? How long had they known? Did they all roll their eyes at my speech, knowing full well I was lying. Was their support all theater? The Changelings knew I couldn’t heal my ponies from their attacks. That’s why they were so bold. Why they felt confident to attack. Confident enough to infiltrate and replace us. 

“Shut up!” Shining squeezed again and the Changeling gagged in his grip. He squirmed and grabbed at Shining’s arm, desperate to free himself from the stallion Prince’s superior strength. Shining’s horn glowed a bright mauve. The same color as my eyes. I shivered as I felt his spell begin to manifest. The energy from his essence was maligned with hatred. I knew what this spell would do to the Changeling if cast.

I had to get a hold of myself. If my subjects didn’t love and respect me, I had nowhere else to go. If Shining Armor killed this Changeling in front of me, I wasn’t sure I could look at him the same way ever again. His smile would be tainted. His goofy and boyish charm would feel like a lie. Underneath would be a cold hearted murderer. I knew he had never killed in cold blood before. I could tell by the way the Changeling affected him. He was a warrior, and had seen combat, but this was different. It was a cruelty that would change him forever, and I couldn’t bear to watch it happen to him. I didn’t have time to wallow in my own pity and self doubt. I had to act. Even if I was nothing. Even if I wasn’t worthy of my station, I had to do something.

“Crystal Ponies!” I let go of Shining and turned to the open street that appeared deceptively empty. “I need your help, please.” Would they heed my call? Would they even come? Especially after hearing what the Changeling said. After knowing that I lied to them.

I watched for a moment as the street remained vacant.

“Please.” I closed my eyes and bowed my head. “I promise there is no danger. Everything will be alright. Please, we need your help.” I couldn’t bear to open my eyes. I held them shut for some time, until I felt a hoof on my shoulder. I looked up to see Shining Armor smiling at me. 

“They’re helping us.”

No hatred or fear. He looked like his normal self again. He gestured with his head behind him, and that’s when I saw it. Scores of Crystal Ponies had come out of hiding, and gathered in the sparkling capital street. The Changeling was restrained by three stallions as the rest of the onlookers stood by, ready to help if the Changeling caused any trouble.

“We’ll handle this, Princess.” One of the citizen stallion sentries said. 

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t go anywhere until the guards can take over.” A mare in the crowd stepped forward. I recognized her.

“Rain Flower?” It was the mare from the first town that was attacked.

“Yes, my lady.” She bowed briefly and smiled at me. 

“What brings you to the capital?” 

“I thought it would be safer than our home for the time being.” She glanced over at the Changeling and scowled. “And I would like to do my part to help keep it that way.”

“Thank you.” I was at a loss to think of anything else to say. 

“We have everything under control here, my lady.” She nodded. “Please go save our captain.”

The crowd mumbled words of agreement. Their love and trust for me left me spellbound. I would find a way to repay them for their kindness and loyalty. I would make it right for everyone, no matter the cost.

“Let’s go get Flash.” I grinned at Shining, but dropped the smile as soon as he said,

“Go where?” He held his hoof up in question. “We have no idea where they took him, and I don’t think the Changeling is going to tell us.” 

My cheeks burned as I bit my bottom lip. I had been so relieved to see Shining back to his normal self, I had forgotten that we were stuck with no leads.

“We’ll have to form a search party.” I began brainstorming.

“Which will take guards away from our patrols.” He replied as we spoke in rapid succession.

“And that could leave us open to attack.”

“But we can’t afford to lose Flash and his stallions.”

“We don’t even know how many we’ve lost yet.”

“Or who is false.” Shining finished as we stared at each other for a long time. Just as I was about to say something, a magical discharge went off to my left. I jumped without thinking, throwing myself between Shining and the strange magical attack.

“Shining? Cadance?” A familiar voice said. I looked up and saw a holographic projection of Twilight Sparkle. “Oh thank Celestia, you’re both together. I don’t have to cast a scrying spell twice. It’s exhausting.”

It was then that I noticed I was standing on my hind legs with my front hooves covering Shining Armor.

“I appreciate the thought, babe, but I don’t think Twilie is going to hurt us.” He grinned sideways at my awkward pose, which brought his muzzle right next to mine. I could feel my face go red as a tomato. Partially because I looked stupid, but mostly because he called me “babe.” Guess we were doing pet names after all.

“I have to warn you both.” Twilight’s semi transparent image spoke. “Flash Sentry has been captured and replaced by the Changelings.” 

I got back on all fours, finally out of that ridiculous position. I turned my head to look behind me when I heard some shuffling. Most of the ponies who formed the crowd had stepped forward to bow to the image of Princess Twilight.

“Yeah we just found out about it.” Shining nodded at his sister. “We captured his Changeling copy a moment ago.” His head tilted sideways as he squinted one eye. I watched as the gears turned in his mind. “Wait, how did you know about it? Aren’t you in Canterlot?”

“I am.” Twilight nodded. “Flash just scryed me a moment ago from captivity. He told me-”

“Flash can cast a scrying spell!” Shining’s jaw dropped. “I can’t even cast a scrying spell.” He said much quieter. 

“Yes, he can. Especially when I give him a scroll of scrying, and teach him how to use it.” Twilight frowned as she nodded. “He’s a better pony than you give him credit for.”

“When did you-?” 

“I taught him when he escorted me back to Canterlot.” Twilight’s cheeks turned a mild shade of red as she looked away for a moment. “I wouldn’t let him leave until he learned how to do it. We promised each other that if something happened to either of us, we would let each other know right away with this spell.” Twilight’s lip quivered, but her eyes stayed hard and focused.

“Did he say where he was being held?” I chimed in. 

“He told me he was being held in a cave in the Crystal Mountains. The same one where Cadance was held when we found her.”

The back of my neck clenched with guilt. I had been a liability ever since I was taken captive. Now other ponies had to suffer.

“Huh…” Shining rubbed the back of his head. “That seems way too obvious of a place to reuse. They must have been confident that we wouldn’t find any of their spies.”

“Queen Chrysalis is known for her hubris.” Twilight said, and my mind flooded with rage at the sound of her name. “We’ll be sure to use it against her.” 

“Who else has been captured? Did he give any names?” Shining demanded, and I was thankful for the change in subject. 

“He didn’t give me any names or numbers.” Twilight shook her head. “He-”

“Why not?” Shining looked flabbergasted. “Doesn’t he realize how vital is is that we-”

“He didn’t have time!” Twilight yelled as she interrupted him back. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I took satisfaction in seeing Shining being talked over for once. “He only had a few seconds before the Changelings saw what he was doing and stopped him.”

Twilight and Shining were quiet for a few moments. No one in the gathered crowd dared to interject in the Royal drama. The Changeling’s mouth had been gagged with some mare’s mane bow, so he couldn’t taunt us with a comment either.

“Shining.” Twilight finally spoke. Her voice was not that of a Princess, but a little sister standing up to her big brother. “You’re wrong about Flash.”

Shining said nothing. He just let Twilight continue.

“He’s a great colt, and…” Twilight choked on her own words. Shining’s eyes softened as they drifted to gaze at the crystal street. 

“I love him.” Twilight stared directly at her brother. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him. Please-” 

“I’ll save him, Twilie.” Shining said. “Nothing is going to happen to him. I promise to bring him home safe.” Shining spoke with Princely confidence. 

“Safely.” Twilight said as she sniffled. Clearly holding back tears. 

“What?” Shining looked confused.

“You said, ‘Bring him home safe’ but proper grammar would be ‘safely’ in that context.” Twilight corrected.

“Oh you cannot be serious right now.” Shining rolled his eyes.

“What?” Twilight threw up her hooves. “It’s true.”

“I know it’s true, but you’re being such a dinklebus about it.” Shining crossed his front hooves and sighed.

“Dinklebus?” I raised an eyebrow as I was completely ignored by them.

“You’re the dinklebus, you dorkopolis rex.” Twilight pointed directly at Shining.

“How about I go to your castle library in Ponyville and unsort all of your books?”

Twilight gasped as if personally insulted.

“You wouldn’t dare! If you do that, I’ll turn you into a pumpkin!”

“And I’d win the county fair for sure.”

Neither of them could hold it in after that. They both burst out laughing. I couldn’t help but smile myself.

“Thank you BBBFF.” Twilight said after a few moments.

“Of course, Twilie.” Shining grinned. “You know I always have your back. Thanks for the vital intel. We’ll find him.”

“Good luck, both of you.” Twilight said and her image vanished. 

“Let's go, BBBFF.” I said, smirking at Shining.

“Oh yeah.” He rubbed the back of his head. “BBBFF stands for-”

“Big Brother Best Friend Forever.” I said casually as his eyes lit up with excitement. 

“You remember.” The pure joy on his face sent a chill of guilt down my spine. 

“No.” I looked away from him. “It just seemed obvious.”

“Nah.” He waved my dismissal off with his hoof. “Those memories are coming back, I know it. You'll be back to normal in no time.”

“Shining…” I began, but he was lost in his own calculated thoughts. Planning our next move.

“I'm gonna gather every available guard I can find. I'll meet you back at the castle and we'll head out from there.” he prepared to trot off.

“Shining.” I repeated louder.

“I know. We didn't get to do our date. I promise the next one will be even better. We'll take a week off and go to Rainbow Falls or something.” His head was stuck in formulating a rescue mission. He wasn’t hearing his own name.

“Shining!” I yelled to no avail.

“I'll see you in a few. We gotta hurry!” With that, he was off. Running away from me, enacting his plan. 

“My memories haven't come back.” I whispered to no one as his figure ran down the twilight glowing crystal streets.

Tell him tonight. Pell’s voice rang in my head.

“I don't think they're ever coming back.”



****

> Chapter 10
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caves were awful. I decided that I do not want to live in a cave or even visit one for the rest of my life. Though the Crystal mountains may have been gorgeous: a splendor of shining rock faces that sparkled under the sunlight and changed color as the light source, or one's perspective shifted. Inside the cave this phenomenon was perverted. The reflected light dimmed the deeper you went, contorted with a haunting glow. Ghostly shadows were cast on the walls as the light tricked your eyes. Shifting colors were mistaken for moving creatures and monsters. Every flicker made me believe it was a Changeling ready to pounce.

Shining and the soldiers he gathered looked stoic and unaffected by the creepy, shifting shadows. It took him all night before he managed to find thirteen royal guards to accompany us on the rescue mission. Although it pained me to do it, we decided it was best to rest for the night and head out first thing in the morning. I hoped Flash would forgive us when we found him. If we found him. We knew the Changelings outnumbered us in this cave. With our forces stretched thin across the kingdom, we were vulnerable and over extended at all times. Especially when waltzing into their territory.

I walked next to Shining Armor as the group of us paced in close order. The cave was rather large, yet still cramped with everyone marching side by side. The only sounds I heard were my own breath and the soldier's metal armor clanging with each step. Not very stealthy. But I’d rather the soldiers have their armor than go without. The deeper we got into the cave, the quieter our surroundings were. All the little noises we made sounded louder in the thin mountain cave air. I had to take longer breaths just to feel like my lungs were full. Each one filled my senses with the smell and taste of the dry yet rich minerals. 

Shining held up his right hoof and all the guards stopped in sync. I stopped a step or two after and had to shrink back into my old position. I tried to hide my embarrassment from my delayed reaction. Fortunately, no one gave me a look of blame for being untrained. That didn’t mean they weren't thinking it though.

“What is it?” I tried to whisper, but my own voice rang too loud in my ears. I never realized how deafening the quiet could be. 

Shining shook his head, signaling with his raised hoof that we should just wait. I felt stupid for speaking up. Possibly giving our position away. Did they know we were here? Were they even still here at all? Maybe they moved after Flash got the scrying spell off. What if they did move and we could never find Flash?

I didn't get much time to dwell on that as Shining pointed his hoof down the cave. He signaled again and everyone dropped to the dusty cave floor. The soldiers managed to fall prone immediately. I dropped a second or so after them. We all laid in relative silence as Shining and our guards held their weapons at the ready. A Changeling walked into view. Barely visible in the warped cave lighting. Its black skin was perfect for hiding in the depths of a cave like this. Unlike Shining in his snow white fur, or my loud pink Princess butt. Despite our lack of camouflage, it failed to notice us as it turned the corner, revealing itself first. As soon as its head turned our direction, it came to a halt.

Shining didn’t wait for it to move first. He leaped up and thrust his spear forward in one swift, well practiced movement. 

I wished I could unsee what I witnessed next. I could barely make out the movements, and yet I saw it clear as day as my mind filled in all the horrible details. Shining’s spear found its target, piercing through the hapless Changeling who cried out in a shrieking hiss. The sound he made. The sight of his wound. The limpness of his form as he hit the ground, never to get up again. These pervasive images lingered in my head.

I had never seen combat before. Had Cadance seen combat? Had I fought before? Did my missing memories carry moments as awful as what I saw? Shining had drawn first blood in our war against the Changelings. 

First blood? No. They had attacked us first. I had been taken against my will. The poor ponies of those towns had been assaulted. The Changelings may not have killed us yet, but their hooves were not clean. We didn't bring this fight on ourselves. They came for us first. We had no choice but to survive. I told myself that as I stared at the motionless body of the Changeling on the crystal cave floor. 

“Move!” Shining commanded and I finally reacted as fast as the soldiers did. I wanted to be anywhere else except where this body was. 

The cave hallway curved a bit before opening up into a wider chamber. I saw a raised platform with two slabs for a pony to lay down, like a doctor's office. Next to each slab was a crystal tower with a giant orb sitting on top. One of the orbs was split in half. It was the first artificial construction we had come across. 

“What is this place?” I asked. Seemingly in response to my question, the cave walls began to shake. I felt the rumbling in my hooves first, then I heard the hissing. It was just like the Changeling from the hall, except this was a chorus of what sounded like giant insects. I didn’t know how many Changelings were coming. Only that they were enraged, and loud enough to overload my senses. I could feel their collective essences. So much hatred, anger, and fear. 

Fear?

Yes, they were afraid. Any creature, no matter how hideous, feared going into battle. My own fear gripped me as Shining placed his hoof on my shoulder. 

“Stay behind me.” He ordered, trying to push me back with his hoof. I stood my ground, refusing to move from his side. I appreciated his concern, but didn't like being corralled. He gave up and gripped his spear instead. The other soldiers held their own spears at the ready. We had four pegasi with us who took to the air. The room was large, however flying would still be a challenge. I decided to remain on the floor for now. Flying might be my only way out of here, should this mission fail horribly. Shining made me promise to fly away if things got bad. I was fuming mad at the idea, but agreed because he looked at me with such tenderness that my heart broke. Only one monarch should die, not both.

The Changelings flooded Into the room. Some from the ground, others gripping the walls and ceiling as they all scurried in. Their semi transparent wings buzzing, adding to the wet hissing they spewed. There were far too many of them. No amount of combat skill would matter if their massive numbers overwhelmed us. I wanted to use my magic, but what would I cast? Could I cast a big enough shield in time to cover everyone? Perhaps I could cover myself and Shining. Or maybe just myself. 

A pink layer enveloped my vision, creating a tinted sphere that colored everything outside of it in a magenta haze. It wasn’t my magic. My magic was blue. Pink must have been-

I looked over at Shining Armor. His horn glowed bright with the same color as my eyes. He had shielded our entire team just as I had meant to. For him, there was no delay in visualizing what he wanted and acting on it in battle. When the Changelings tried to attack us, they bounced harmlessly, and comically, off of Shining’s shield. Over and over they rammed their bodies into the shield. None of them held a weapon in their hooves. Their asymmetric fangs and jagged hoof ends were the only weapons they used. I was sure any royal guard would defeat any single Changeling, but what would they do against ten? A hundred? A thousand? Their numbers were their greatest weapon. My ears filled with the constant percussive smacking of Changelings against the shield.

“Attack!” Shining ordered. “The shield won’t hold forever.” With a short shout of affirmation, Shining’s soldiers rushed to the edge of the sphere and thrust their spears into the charging Changelings. One after another, a Changeling met its doom trying to penetrate Shining’s massive shield. It was horrific to witness as Changelings would charge forward, only to meet the sharp end of a weapon. 

Yet they kept coming. There were too many to stop all of them. Victims piled up at the base of the shield, but their numbers never seemed to dwindle. Perhaps they were being replaced. I watched as Shining Armor stabbed another attacker. He had to focus on his weapon, and maintaining the shield. I could see the fatigue in his eyes as sweat dripped down his cheek. 

I had to help. I had to do something to contribute. If Shining’s and his soldiers were overrun, I’d be forced to flee per my promise to Shining. But against such numbers, fleeing might not be an option anymore. I didn’t want to think about dying here in a deep dark cave, like the many Changelings who littered the floor. A horrible thought invaded my head: What if they took me prisoner again? Last time my memories were stolen from me. What sort of awful torture had I endured at the end of those dead memories? Perhaps I’d prefer to lay on the floor next to them after all. 

Warmth drew to the front of my forehead as the light of my magic glowed in my face. I cast a beam at the nearest charging Changeling. It went wide of my target. I cast another one, and the Changeling swooped below it. I fired in rapid succession to very little success. The trained soldiers made it look so easy. 

“My Lord!” One of the soldiers shouted at Shining, drawing my eyes back to him. Shining was keeling over, his magic sputtering and on the verge of failure. The Changeling’s endless assault added so much stress to him maintaining the shield. The unicorns among us activated their own magic, supporting his shield. Their combined effort reinvigorated our protection as the colors of their magic mixed with his. 

How long had the battle gone on? Minutes? It felt like hours. We grew tired as the Changelings remained fresh. Their dead and tired were replaced as our dead tired troops stayed on their hooves. Our shield shrank little by little, forcing us to close ranks. We ended up back to back and shoulder to shoulder with each other. The shield cracked and sputtered. Our pegasi could no longer fly. Our cramped conditions worsened by the sight of a black wave of Changelings all around us. 

The shield fizzled out and failed for the final time. I felt Shining drop to his knees. The other unicorns looked equally exhausted. I watched as the Changelings rushed towards us uninhibited by any barrier. Their hiss grew louder. Something about their cry sounded triumphant. A sinister smile in their snake-like shout. They were upon us. Nothing could stop their slimy hole filled hooves. Their crooked fangs bared as their wings vibrated.

I cried out, closing my eyes as I summoned all the magic I could muster. I felt a wave blast out from inside me. When I opened my eyes, the Changelings were scattered across the room. They had been knocked back by my desperate blast. I watched as they struggled to stand back up. They were stunned, but largely unharmed. I had bought us a little bit of time.

“Cast the shield again!” I looked down at Shining Armor, who’s knees shook as he failed to stand up. He looked as if his armor was too heavy for him to wear. I turned my head to the unicorns in our party.

“Help him!” I commanded. “Cast your shields again. Do something!” Even as I said it, I could see how spent they looked.

“My Lady.” A unicorn guard bowed his head to me. He breathed heavily as his horn flickered like a young filly trying to learn her first spell. “We are trying, we…” It was too much. I was asking too much and offering so little. If I could bark orders, I could do something more productive. The earth ponies and pegasi guards gathered around Shining and myself, trying to shield us from the Changelings with their bodies. I called on my own magic. I was tired, but what did that matter? I would not be taken again. I would not let their effort be in vain. I was a Princess. I could not fail them now.

My blue magic bloomed from my horn. A modest shield barely encompassed our rag tag group of soldiers. I focused all my thoughts on my essence. I had to continue the shield, and fight at the same time. I had to be like Shining Armor. The Changelings were recovering and walking up to my shield. Their hisses sounded hungry as they postured in front of us. I could see drool dripping from the mouths of the ones closest to us. 

“That’s enough!” A Changeling stepped in front and faced the rest of them. “Hold your position.” He commanded and turned to face me. “It’s over…” He stared into my eyes. There was no greed or hunger in his eyes. All I could see and sense from him was sadness.

“...Princess.” He finally said. “Surrender. You’ve lost. There’s no need for anymore fighting.”

I held my ground and kept my eyes focused on the Changeling who spoke. “We will not surrender.”

He glared back. “Your magic weakens. I dare say you had seconds before my horde tore through your defenses. Your poor husband is already on his knees.”

“Where is Flash Sentry?” Shining demanded as he labored to stand, probably fueled on anger alone. 

“You’re in no condition to demand anything from us.” The Changeling didn’t look any different from the rest of them. He was not taller or more distinct in any way, yet they waited and allowed him to speak for them. 

“I’m not done fighting yet!” Shining yelled, defiantly standing up to his full height.

“Yes you are.” The Changeling said with a nod towards our panting troops. There was no arrogant malice in his tone. This Changeling was nothing like the one who impersonated Flash. “You and your soldiers are completely exhausted. Please, surrender now and we won’t hurt you.” 

“Why should we believe a word you say?” Shining argued.

He had genuine compassion in his blue gradient eyes. “We’ve lost enough lives. On both sides. This is not a fight you will win. I’m giving you the chance to surrender, please. No more fighting.”

“I will never-” Shining began, but I interrupted.

“Who did you send to replace Flash Sentry?” I called out. The Changeling turned to me.

“What?”

“Your plan to impersonate Flash failed. Horribly. So, I’m asking, who did you send? Must’ve been someone important for such a critical mission.” I added a bit of nonchalance sass to hopefully get a reaction from him.

It worked, the Changeling's eyes flew wide in fear before he could control himself and hastily  narrowed them again.

“W-what does that matter?” He said unconvincingly. 

“We have him captured.” I said with an eerie calmness, pausing to see how the Changeling would react. 

“They won’t care about him.” Shining said, spitting on the ground. He was breathing heavily. “They’re mindless monsters that only care about feeding their insatiable appetite for stolen love.” His teeth gritted as he spoke. 

“Y-you heard him.” The Changeling said, trying to sound tough. This child wasn’t fooling me. That’s all he was. A child. Hardly a monster at all. “Surrender and I’ll spare your pathetic lives.” His eyes didn’t match his words. He was unable to look away from me since we started talking. I decided to go with my gut feeling.

“If you want to see him again, you’ll let us go.” I said and he and Shining looked at me perplexed. 

“I…” He froze. “Why would I…?” 

“What’s your name?” I asked him and I swear I saw him start to tear up.

“I’m Thorax.” He said as his cheeks blushed. It looked maroon against his black skin. 

“Why are you-?” Shining began.

“Shining!” I glared at Shining and he relented. He just sighed and focused on catching his breath. I needed him to trust me now.

“Thorax, if you comply with us…”

“Did you harm him? Torture?” Thorax cut me off. His gaze was drawn to the Changelings that laid dead on the cave floor. “Why didn’t you kill him as easily as you did them?”

“Are you and him close? Like family?” I deflected his questions.

“All members of the hive are family. That’s how a hive works.” He narrowed his eyes. 

“But, you two were close, weren’t you?” I asked and his eye twitched. “You were direct family. Like the same batch.”

“Batch?” He raised what constituted an eyebrow on his greasy forehead. 

“You know what I mean.” I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, I’m not familiar with your terms and genealogy.”

“He is my brother.” Thorax held out his chest, trying to look strong. Part of his bravado reminded me of Shining Armor. “We are from the same litter.” He emphasized the proper term.

Shining recovered enough to stand tall once more. As if reading my mind, he took over the conversation. “Well, if you ever want to see your brother alive again…” Shining stepped forward glaring at Thorax. “You will do exactly as I say, Changeling.”

Thorax said nothing as Shining stared him down.

“Release Flash Sentry, and anypony else you have captured, and let us all leave together. Then we will bring your brother back unharmed. Assuming I’m still in a good mood.” Shining did not sound like he was in a good mood. 

“You would have me trade so many for just one Changeling?” Thorax glanced at his fallen again. “After coming here and killing my brethren in front of me?”

“What is your brother’s name?” I asked. I felt guilty manipulating this child, but what choice did we have?

“His name is Pharynx.”

“Pharynx is very brave.” I said generously. “He’s strong but has a sharp tongue.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he said plenty of awful things to you when you captured him.” Thorax looked embarrassed as concern washed over his face. “Did… did you hurt him when you beat… when you took him prisoner.”

“Heh…” Shining chuckled and Thorax’s head dropped.

“No more than necessary.” I assured him. “He’s safe and well taken care of.”

“He wouldn’t do the same for you.” Thorax shook his head.

“I know. Which is why we are having this conversation. I want a different outcome for all of us. An even exchange. Your prisoners for ours.”

We looked at each other for what felt like a long time. Finally, Thorax spoke up.

“Alright.” His voice was soft and full of defeat. “You can leave, everyone can leave just…” I could hear the other Changelings hiss with discontent. “Bring my brother back to me.”

“You’re pretty trusting for a Changeling.” Shining sneered at him. No hint of relief or gratitude on his face. Thorax glared back at Shining, probably trying to think of something biting to say back.

With a quick gesture over his shoulder, Thorax beckoned the other Changelings to bring Flash Sentry forward. The poor soul looked more embarrassed than physically harmed. He gave a silent nod to me, but ducked his head and couldn’t look Shining Armor in the eye. He joined our meager ranks in solemn silence. One by one the rest of our captures guards walked into view and joined our ranks.

I glanced at Shining, who was already turning and making ready to leave.

“Wait, as a show of good faith, one of you must stay behind.” Thorax pointed to Shining. “That way I know you’ll actually return with Pharynx alive and well.”

“I’ll stay.” I instantly volunteered. I have no idea what possessed me, it just seemed right. Even if not strategically sound.

“Absolutely not!” Shining shouted. “We can’t risk…”

“I’m staying.” I interrupted him.

“One of our guards will assume the duty.” Shining shook his head. “I won’t allow-”

“Do not tell me what I may and may not do!” I cut him off as my blood boiled inside me. His hurt expression made me regret my harshness. 

“If any harm comes to her…” The softness of Shining’s voice sent a chill down my spine. “There is no army in Equestria that will stop what I will do to you.” He furrowed his brow at Thorax. 

“Same goes for you and my brother.” The meek Changeling said, equally calm. 

“When I return, meet us at the entrance of the cave.” Shining ignored Thorax’s threat. “I never want to enter this wicked place ever again.” He made it seem like it was pure distaste, but it was also a strategy. Thorax had the forces to keep us trapped in here. It only made sense to not risk coming back inside for the prisoner exchange.

“Very well.” Thorax nodded. “P-princess Cadance and I will meet you at the entrance alone.” 

Shining shot me one last troubled look, pleading with me to leave with him. I smiled back and sat on the dusty floor, staring up at the raised platform with the makeshift slabs. 

“I’m coming back for you. I promise, Cadence.”

I waved him away. “I’ll be okay. Just, don’t be long, alright?”

Shining nodded, turned and practically snarled at Thorax. “Remember what I said.” 

To Thorax’s credit, he said nothing back. Only turned to speak quietly to the other Changelings around him.

Shining relayed his exit orders to the remaining soldiers, and in a moment they were gone. 





****

> Chapter 11
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was abruptly alone with the Changelings. Surrounded by the enemy on all sides. I watched as Thorax directed them. Delegating and giving instructions to his family.

Family? That word felt weird to use even in my own head.

They were all technically related, but did these beings really live as family? I honestly wasn’t quite sure of their family dynamics. Now, I had no choice but to watch as a captive audience while they worked alongside one another. The Changelings collected their dead and tended to their injured. Some of the fallen moaned in pain as they were treated and bandaged. I heard words of reassurance and promises of hope as Changeling helped Changeling. It reminded me of walking through the streets of that Crystal town, watching as Rain Flower and her fellow townsfolk helped each other. 

I sat there observing them for what felt like hours. Occasionally shifting my position as one butt cheek went numb from sitting on the jagged ground. The dead and injured had long been carried away to be further treated or buried. I expected them to hiss and taunt me, wanting revenge for their fallen. However, they carried on peaceably. Either paying me no mind, or sometimes too much mind. They wouldn’t make much expression when they did. They would just… stare. It creeped me out, though I suppose it could have been much worse. I was technically their prisoner until Shining came back with Pharynx for the exchange. Perhaps I was fascinating to see up close. The leader of their enemy. The Crystal Pony Princess in their midst. Their curiosity seemed empathetic, almost caring. I shook the thought from my mind, certain I was projecting my own feelings on them. 

“Thorax.” I called, not wanting to focus on my imprisonment. I was also bored out of my mind, and starved for conversation with literally anyone. He turned and walked back over to me, their recovery operation well underway at this point.

“Yes M-miss Cadance?” Such a polite boy. 

“Are there any rules against a prisoner of war engaging in polite conversation while we wait?”

He thought about his reply for a few seconds. “No, I suppose not.”

I tapped the rock next to me. “Come and sit with me please.”

He obeyed and sat across from me, bringing himself to my height here on the ground. The hard cave floor wasn’t exactly comfortable, though it was certainly an improvement from combat. Fatigue had hit me as soon as my adrenaline rush died down. It was fortunate that I had such a long time to rest after the battle.

“What is this cave for?” My eyes drifted to the cracked orb above the slab on the right. “What happened in this room?”

Thorax was silent for a moment. He stared at me as if there was some answer to be read on my face.

“Honestly, I have no idea what mom was doing in this room.” Thorax rubbed the back of his head. Just like Shining did when he felt shy or sheepish. “She was doing some sort of experiment in here, and it went haywire.”

My eyes went wide as realization struck me.

“Is this where…?” I hesitated. “Is this where I was taken when I was captured by Chrysalis? By your mother?” It was bizarre to refer to Chrysalis as a mother. Even though she literally sired an entire hive. Nothing that I knew about her seemed motherly. 

“It was.” He confirmed, following my gaze up to the broken orb. “Your… family came and took you back.” He looked uncomfortable talking about the memory. I suppose if my mother was beaten and defeated, her master plan foiled, I wouldn’t want to talk about it either. I had the privilege of not being able to remember what happened. I would probably be bothered by uncomfortable memories in this room if I could. Looking around, all of this seemed academic to me. I had no personal connection to anything here. It was interesting to get a glimpse of the other side of the conflict. Even if I detested them.

“Why isn’t Chrysalis here now?” I changed the subject for him. 

“She…” He hesitated.

“She’s back at the hive.” He looked down at his lap. I was surprised he was willing to tell me the Queen’s whereabouts. Although, we didn’t know where the hive was. Maybe I should be more strategic with my questions to Thorax? Get him to admit something he shouldn’t. That would be very shrewd of me as a Princess.

I opened my mouth to start with the line of questioning. But Thorax kept talking, and his words startled me. 

“I miss her. I wish she was here. She’d know what to do right now.” He stared at me for a moment before continuing, sniffling slightly as if fighting back tears. “Sh-She entrusted my brother and I to use this cave as a forward operating base to…” He stared at me, seemingly unsure of how to address this to his enemy. He was showing weakness. I thought that I should exploit it. Use it against him.

“To spy on us, and replace us. So that you can draw us out and feed on our love magic.” I finished for him. No need to dance around the issue on this.

“Yes.” He said with a nod. His cheeks and brow stiffened as he made a brave face again. I would have called him endearing if he wasn’t a love sucking monster.

They were all monsters, right?

My mind wandered to the legend that Pell told me. A kind and friendly race that was cursed, and forced to feed on their friends to survive. Thorax seemed to fit that particular description, but he had to be the exception. A tender heart. The good cop to his brother’s bad cop. Not to mention, his own brother had said and done horrible things to us in the capital. His family had fed on innocent creatures for generations. Those attacks could not go unnoticed or unanswered. I had to use this opportunity. 

“And now you’re back to square one.” I continued.

“I…” He hesitated to admit it.

“Because you have to save your brother.” I filled it in for him. 

He was willing to fail in his mission just to save his brother. Would the rest of the hive be ok with this? What would Chrysalis think?

“Mhmm.” He nodded as his bottom lip quivered.

“And the rest of Changeling’s are just fine with that?” Not that I was ungrateful. Bringing up the issue felt like poking the bear. One word from Thorax and I could be taken away to the hive as a real prisoner.

“Pharynx and I are high born Changelings.” His chest stuck out as he held his head a bit higher. “We are bred for leadership. The others will listen and obey us.” 

“So, what, you’re better than the rest of them?” A few of the other Changelings in earshot gave me a sideways look at that comment.

“I don’t like to think of it that way.” Thorax corrected.

“But Pharynx does.” I fired back.

“Please don’t speak ill of my brother.” His turquoise gradient eyes glared at me. 

I softened. “Alright. I’m sorry. But, I’m curious, you are their leaders, right? How did you come to be in charge?”

“I was born into it.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you want to know this?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Curiosity? Enlighten me. I want to know more about you and the Changelings. Our people know so little about one another.”

He nodded briefly and adjusted his legs to sit up more properly. “High born means we are born of mother instead of from her.” He explained.

“Come again?” That sounded like the same thing to me.

“A Changeling Queen usually reproduces by laying clutches of eggs.” He glanced over at the other Changelings. “Most of my brothers and sisters were born that way, however…” He turned his head back to me, softening his expression. “She can also give birth like a mammal. My brother and I were born as twins, in a manner that… your kind…” He looked away again. “Would be more familiar with.”

“So Chrysalis favors Changelings who are born naturally.”

“All births are natural!” His eyes narrowed as his black hide molded his eyes into a fierce shape. 

“Then what makes you specifically ‘high born?’”

“Well…” He took a deep breath. “Mom says that high born are destined for greatness and leadership.”

“So it’s all mythology?”

“It’s all destiny.” He stubbornly pushed back. I don’t know why I was being so antagonistic, other than he was my sworn enemy. But, I was also terribly curious.

“Those born from egg clutches begin life in infancy. They grow and develop much like ponies or other species do.” He waited for me to comment. When I didn’t, he continued on. “Pharynx and I weren’t born as infants. We were born with developed minds, fully aware.”

“How in the world did your mother give birth to two fully grown…?” 

“Changeling.” Thorax cut in with a shrug and a grin. “Our bodies can mold and adjust as needed. At least it can for a Queen. A Queen’s anatomy has many unique features compared to normal Changelings. It also helps that we weren’t much larger than infants when we were born.” 

I had so many questions. His explanation left me more confused than before. However, what I did immediately focus on was that Thorax was born similar to the way I woke up. Fully grown, fully thinking and functional, but no memories. No idea who you are or where you came from.

“Well you look much bigger now.” I inspected him with my eyes like the mysterious creature he was to me. He blushed at my gaze, causing me to stop. I suppose that was a bit rude of me. 

“We grew to our full adult size in about a year.” He explained.

“A year!” My mouth dropped open. “That’s so fast. How old are you now?” I felt like I was prying too much, but I just had to know more at this point. 

“I…” He looked thoroughly uncomfortable. “My brother and I are three years old. Give or take a few minutes in between.”

“Three?” It was insane to me. No childhood? No adolescence? And he was supposed to be a leader. What sort of cruel child slavery was this? Did his mother even care how he felt? “That’s so young.”

“Perhaps.” He shrugged, rather mature for his age. Or was this normal? “But to me it’s just my life. It doesn’t feel that short to me.”

That I could understand. My life was even shorter than his without my memories. 

“What’s it like waking up fully grown?” I knew what it was like for me. I wondered if it was a similar experience for Thorax and Pharynx. 

Thorax smiled as if it was a pleasant memory, but never got the chance to speak.

“Thorax!” A gravely yell echoed through the cave. It had to be Pharynx. The malice in his tone was unmistakable. I imagined that hideously condescending look he gave Shining Armor, even when he was the one overpowered. 

“That’s our cue.” Thorax swallowed as he stood up. His face looked like he was marching to his own execution. He turned to the other Changelings nearby, directing them to stay put before heading towards the cave entrance. He paused after one step and gestured back to me. “After you?”

His offer seemed more for protection than politeness. He clearly feared his brother more than Shining Armor. Thorax, true to his word, walked alone with me to the entrance of the cave. The cave ceiling was much lower in the tunnel than in that large opening. Stalactites pointed down at me from way up above, making me feel like I was in the jaws of a beast.  The same dark twists and turns that filled me with dread hours ago, seemed oddly familiar now. The daylight hit my eyes hard as we approached the mouth of the cave. I had been adjusted to low light for so long, the white sunlight burned through my closed eyelids. 

“Thorax!” Pharynx’s voice pierced my ears, as I dared to open my eyes. Shining and Flash had returned together. Pharynx was unbound and moving freely with them. No one of that trio of Stallions looked pleased, least of all the Changeling. 

Pharynx rushed toward me and I instinctively dodged. It wasn’t until I leaped next to Shining and Flash that I realized I wasn’t his target. The dull sound of Thorax being stuck drew my attention, as Shining wrapped his hoof around me. I watched in horror as Pharynx assaulted his twin brother. Thorax made no attempt to defend himself. He just took every blow.

“You pathetic!” Pharynx struck Thorax’s jaw. 

“Weak!” He struck the top of his head. 

“Unforgivable!” He struck his eye, causing Thorax recoil. 

“Traitor!”

“Stop it!” I screamed. Every hit on the helpless Thorax filled me with increasing rage. His upper lip was cut. He cradled his hoof over his left eye, crying out in pain. 

Pharynx reared back for another hit as I activated my magic. I levitated him into the air. He flailed about uselessly in the glowing blue aura of my power. 

“You!” He shouted as he struggled to turn his neck to face me. “How dare you interfere!” He tried to activate his own magic. Whether he meant to hit me with an attack beam or try to drain my love magic, I didn’t know. I lowered him faster than gravity to the rocky ground, causing him to drop to his knees. Whatever he was casting was muted as he cried out in surprise. 

“You have no right-”

“I don’t care.” I interrupted him. “You will not hit him again, or I will do much worse than drop you on your ass.”

Pharynx stood to his hooves, sizing me up. Unlike his brother, his eyes were lavender, and his short mane stuck out in maroon spikes. The late afternoon sun was setting behind him, reflecting the sunset onto the crystal peaks here in the mountains. I wished that I could focus on its beauty, yet I had ugly business to deal with right in front of me. 

“M… miss Cadance.” Thorax’s voice cracked as he nursed his wounds. He was my enemy. A Changeling. Yet watching him suffer was simply unbearable for me. 

“Weakling.” Pharynx spat on the ground. “Show some pride in front of your enemy.”

“Enemy?” Thorax said, briefly forgetting himself. He looked to me, then at Pharynx, and finally the ground. “Right…”

“Changelings!” Pharynx shouted seemingly to no one. “I know you’re nearby and listening.” His mouth curled into a wicked grin.

“We came alone.” Thorax said, still cradling his eye. “That was part of the deal.”

“And I know that our brethren are too curious, and too intelligent to follow your treasonous orders.” He turned to look at the mouth of the cave. “Thorax may have given us a unique opportunity. We had the Captain, but now we can seize the royal family as well.”

“Fly.” Flash Sentry said from behind me.

“What?” I turned to ask.

“Go now!” Shining screamed, reaching for his weapon.

“Get them!” Pharynx yelled, pointing directly at me. “Anyone who captures them gets to feed on them first!” He concluded with a cackle, as a swarm of Changelings burst from the mouth of the cave. They were waiting and watching just out of sight. Pharynx had unleashed a trap without even being here to plan it. Or perhaps Thorax had orchestrated it all along. Was his torment and abuse all theater? Did he plan to renege on the deal from the start? I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He didn’t attack with the other Changelings, but he didn’t say anything either.

I spread my wings and was airborne as fast as I could think it. Flash and I flew side by side as the Changelings chased after us. I looked down in horror at Shining Armor hopelessly running away from the much quicker hive. He couldn’t fly, and apparently he didn’t know how to teleport either. 

“Shining!” I screamed as dozens of those dark winged creatures enveloped him.

“Keep flying, my lady!” Flash called to me.

“You would abandon your Prince?” I sneered at Flash, hurt by my disappointment in him.

“We can’t lose both of you.” His argument didn’t convince me. “Trust me, my lady, I have a plan.”

Trust.

I relied on trust. Demanded it. I looked down at Shining again. He covered himself in his Shield, barely visible through the wall of Changelings. The slope he tried to descend eventually dropped into a valley surrounded by crystal walls. Even if he made it that far, he would be trapped and surrounded from the ground and air. I looked back at Flash. My eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Believe in him.” Flash said as we both checked behind us. The Changelings in the air were catching up to us. I had to put all my energy into flying or risk being caught myself.

I spread my wings to their widest span. I coasted for a moment until I felt a pocket of warm air beneath me. Angling my wings I rode the thermal pocket higher, my face pointed upward at the low hanging stratus clouds still higher above me. I paused to hover a few thousand feet in the air. I saw Flash riding the same thermal right below me, and the Changelings struggling to rise farther beneath him. Our feathered pegasi wings could utilize thermal air pockets much better than their thin, transparent bug wings. 

“Keep going!” Flash said, hovering up next to me. My eyes were focused on the valley a few thousand feet below me. Shining was so tiny now, it took me a moment to find him again. He had made it to the valley, ready to make his final stand. I should have been there with him. I should have been boosting his shield, and casting attack spells. Instead he was alone, and outmatched. Not helpless, but outmatched. I hated myself for flying away. I hated Flash for telling me to run. I hated my cowardice for listening to him. 

My wings tingled as the breeze rolled off my feathers. I angled myself downwards, and prepared for a dive. I didn’t care what Flash thought anymore or what his plan was. I would not let Shining Armor be taken alone.

Die alone.

I would be by his side no matter what. For richer or for poorer. In sickness or in health. Till death do we part. I couldn’t remember saying these words, but I had said them. I said them to him. My husband. My fate would be his. Strategy be damned. 

“Here they come.” Flash’s militant voice gave me pause. I was unmistakably postured for a dive, against his direct orders, yet he just spoke calmly and confidently. “Look at the ridge above the clearing where Shining is holding up.”

The valley where Shining bravely fought off the Changelings was a clearing where the Crystal Mountains met the forest. The ridge above and around him was covered with trees, bushes, and foliage. In an instant, the forest moved. Trees and bushes shook with life, as waves of soldiers leaped out of them. Our soldiers. Royal guards in crystal armor jumped down to join Shining Armor in his fight. 

The earth pony soldiers jumped into the valley with lances, striking the Changelings from behind and linking up with Shining. A few unicorn lancers were with them, supporting his shield with their own magic. Most of the unicorns stayed on the edge of the ridge, firing down attack beams as artillery support. The pegasi took to the sky, engaging the Changelings that were in flight, and cutting off any support for the ones in the valley below. It was a powerful display of combined arms warfare. The Changelings still outnumbered the ponies, and more were coming to join the fight in the valley. 

“W-where did they all come from.” I asked, still fixated on the battle. “I thought we were stretched too thin. With all the patrols.”

“The force you encountered in the cave was large enough that we called back all of the patrols.” Flash said, as I tried to process it. “Sorry, that’s why we took so long.” He shrugged, continuing when he saw the confusion on my face. “Why do we need patrols if we know where the enemy is gathered?”

“What if they had more than this?” I asked. “What if this is half the hive and the other half attacked while we engaged them here.”

“It was a gamble.” Flash admitted with a bit of worry on his face. “But with the Princess's safety at stake, we decided it was worth it.”

My cheeks burned as Flash stared knowingly at me. I had caused this. If a soldier had stayed behind for the exchange, they would have exercised more caution. Caution that would have gotten them surrounded and captured when they returned.

“Calculated risks win wars.” Flash seemed to be able to read my thoughts from my expression. “If we play it safe constantly, we just lose slowly.”

“This was the plan the whole time.” I shook my head. “You and Shining knew this would happen.”

“We suspected they’d try to ambush us when we returned. Especially when that Pharynx guy kept blabbing about ‘getting his revenge.’” Flash chuckled. “Let’s get moving. They can handle this.”

I stayed hovering as the Changeling who were chasing us gained more ground. Or sky, I suppose.

“We’re almost out of time, my lady.” 

“What if they lose?”

“He won’t.”

Believe in him, Flash had told me. 

“Why aren’t you with him?” I asked, not meaning to sound accusing. Flash’s wide eyes looked like he took it that way.

“H-he ordered me to escort you-”

“We can’t afford to lose both of you. That’s what you said a minute ago.” I cut in.

Flash remained still, except for the minimum wing effort to remain airborne. His silence told me everything I feared.

“My lady-”

“He made you escort me in case he lost. I’m the back up plan, aren’t I?”

“Those Changelings are closing on us…”

“Answer the question!”

Flash sighed, rubbing his face with his hoof.

“You’re going down there, aren’t you?” He peaked at me with his hoof over his muzzle.

“You can help, or you can run. It’s up to you.”

“I’m sworn to serve and protect the royal family.” He positioned himself to dive, just as I had. “No matter how arrogant and reckless they may be.”

“Then you better keep up.” I gave him a sideways smile, and we both dropped into our dive in unison.

The small swarm of Changelings looked ravenous and hungry. Their fangs flared, as mischievous grins filled their faces. They hissed at us, ready to overwhelm the two suicidal dive bombing ponies. I waited until they were nearly upon us before activating my magic. A blue shield formed around Flash and I just as the first Changeling was in striking distance of me. His bared fangs met the shield instead of my flesh, and he comically bounced off of it. Several others did the same as we plowed through the mini swarm, sending the ones we hit spinning out of control. They struggled to recover, a few of them falling into a flat spin dive. I didn’t look back to see how they fared. My attention was focused on my husband in the valley below.

Do you, Cadance, take Shining Armor to be your lawfully wedded husband? My brain recalled a vow I couldn’t remember taking. All I could do was imagine what our wedding must have been like. A palace courtyard in Canterlot Castle. I didn’t even know what that castle looked like. It probably wasn’t crystal like mine, but I’m sure it was splendid. My dress must have been gorgeous. Like something Pell would come up with, complete with expensive jeweled accessories. My mane gussied up in an extravagant hairdo. I imagined Pell looking at me in the mirror, proud of her best work yet. Even though she probably wasn’t there at the time, I wanted her to be. Since I couldn’t have my real memories, I would have to just make them into what I wanted them to be. She would hold back her tears as I softly thanked her for everything. Then she would give me that dry look and say something sarcastic and inappropriate. I would retort with something crude, completely unbecoming of a Princess. 

Walking down the aisle I would see Shining Armor. How handsome he must have looked, despite his face giving away every emotion he was feeling. Like a foal on Hearths Warming, his earnest gaze would fill my heart with joy. I’d hold in my giggles, imagining him breaking out into that ridiculous song he sang for me at the homecoming game. A song I’d never heard, and a wedding I couldn’t remember. It was stolen from me, and I would not have him stolen as well. 

The ground swelled as the forest and crystal plateaus became clearer and more detailed. I could see Shining Armor’s movements in combat. The smooth, dance-like motions he wielded his lance with. 

“Uh my lady.” Flash’s voice sounded stressed. “I think we should slow our decent a-”

“Call me Cadance.” I said as I maintained my dive speed. Shining and the earth pony soldiers were clashing with a line of Changelings, as my rapid descent approached them like a shooting star.

“Cadance!” Flash’s voice cracked as he pulled out of his dive, thrusting his wings at the ground to reduce his speed. I recast my shield around me, aiming for the center of the Changeling assault formation. My timing needed to be perfect, or this would be a pretty short rescue mission. Even through my shield, the wind shear from my dive tugged on my cheeks and fur. I felt the heat from my horn as the aura of my magic grew. Casting multiple spells was taxing. The light of my magic lit up the battlefield, causing Changeling and pony to look up at the sky as I descended upon them. Shining’s jaw dropped, and eyes widened with shock and amazement. Yet, that was nothing compared to the terror on the faces of the Changelings below me. I waited until the ground was upon me before unleashing my magic.

The shock of the landing. The explosion of magical force. The cries of agony and horror. Everything happened so fast as I shut my eyes, praying I didn’t mistime the landing. All was quiet for a moment. Was I in pain, or shock? Was I dead?

I opened my eyes, and beneath my hooves was a smoldering crater I had created. None of the Changeling who inhabited my landing site still occupied this ground. They had been blown back by the blast I had sent out, just like in the cave. I saw the lines of Changelings all around me. Many of them were strewn about on the earthy ground covered in crystalline minerals. Some of them got back to their feet. I knew Shining and his soldiers were somewhere behind me. 

The battlefield had frozen upon my arrival. The Changelings hesitated to advance on me. They looked unsure of what to do next. An unfortunately familiar red mane Changeling stepped forward. If you could even call it a mane. It looked more like a frazzled toothbrush. 

“Changelings!” My voice rang the loudest I had yet heard it. “Go back to your hive, and tell your Queen that the Crystal Empire will remain free of her tyranny.”

My heart raced as I hoped my throat wouldn't give out. 

“You can’t give orders to me, Princess.” Pharanx's teeth bared as his lip snarled. “I give the orders now!”

“It wasn't an order. It was a threat.” I glared at Pharynx, holding his hateful gaze. My wings felt on fire from all the intense flying. I had cast so much magic, I was sure a young unicorn foal could beat me in a magic duel at the moment. I could barely stand. All of my strength was engaged in keeping my knees from buckling. 

“Changelings!” Pharynx's booming raspy voice commanded. If my bluff didn't work… Well, I didn't want to think about that at the moment. 

“Withdrawal.” He said with less gusto, giving me one last narrow eyed once over. Checking for any weakness or tell in my face and posture. I thought about Chrysalis, and what these Changelings would do to my people if we didn't stop them. My teeth gritted at the thought. 

The Changelings lifted themselves off the ground, as the soft reverberating hum of their collective wings echoed in the air. They flew off in neat orderly ranks. They certainly didn't look beaten or routed, but away they flew all the same. 

Once the last of their regiments and companies were on their way, Pharynx spit on the ground, and flew off himself. I waited until his back was to me. Until he was a diminishing speck on the horizon before I collapsed onto my flank, throwing my head back to look at the heavens. 

I breathed the first sigh of relief I'd felt since I learned Flash had been taken. Since my date with Shining wasn't even allowed to start.

“Cadance!” Shining had a few superficial wounds and was covered in dirt. But I didn’t care. He crested the hill with the setting sunlight streaming behind him, making his white coat glow. He looked downright ethereal. I let myself gawk as he approached. He rushed over and gently grabbed my shoulders. 

“Are you hurt? What on Celestia's green earth were you think-?”

I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked his lips onto mine. He jolted with shock, but didn't fight me. Relaxing his posture down to my height and kissing me back. Every inch of my body ached as I tasted him. I relished him, drawing out the moment with my lingering touch. I felt his jaw relax as he kissed me back, leaning into the tenderness as he caressed the back of my head. His touch was as gentle as it was longing. A hunger he held inside all this time was being fed at last. His hooves greedily wrapped around my back, taking me, claiming me as his. If only no one else was around…

At last I broke away and to stare into his eyes, I rubbed the side of his perfectly square jaw. He closed his eyes, leaning into it as my hoof squished his cheek. He placed his hoof on mine, guiding it to his chest, and kissed me one more time.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I think most would call it a kiss.” I smiled softly.

He flushed slightly. “No, I mean, yes. I mean, I know it was a kiss. And it was a great kiss. No complaints. I just meant, oh boy. What was it for? That kiss. That kiss we did just now.” 

My smile widened. Apparently, I kissed him into a state of complete shock and rambling. It was adorable. 

“Who says only Princes can initiate kisses? I think Princesses can too.”

His own lips upturned into a grin that turned his masculine face almost boyish. He ducked his head in an ‘aww shucks’ kind of manner. His inner nerd coming out and acting all shy and flabbergasted by a kiss from a cute girl. Good grief, this wasn’t an act. This was him. I wanted to flutter my eyelashes and giggle in response - somehow, I held it in. 

“What are you doing here?” He cleared his throat and tried to sound harsh and tough again, but his goofy grin gave him away. 

“I came to save you, my king.” I leaned my head forward, resting my horn against his. I could feel the residual heat from all the spells we had cast. 

“King?” His eyes lit up as he thought about it. I don’t know why I said that. It just sounded better to me. 

“They call it a ‘Kingdom’ do they not?” I smirked at him. He pursed his lips, scrunching his nose and muzzle. He looked so cute and kissable like that. 

“It does have a nice ring to it.” His wistful grin evaporated as he focused on me. “Why didn’t you escape with Flash? I gave him explicit orders to-”

“I made my own orders.”

“You can’t do that.”

“And why not?”

“Orders are orders. You cannot disobey them.”

“Disobey? What, are you going to put me in a time-out?”

“Cadance, this is serious.”

My anger rose through the exhaustion of battle. It flowed like tiny rivers in the top and sides of my brain, blurring my vision slightly as my teeth gritted. I took a slow breath, making sure I spoke softly and calmly. Containing my anger.

“I told you-” 

“Nopony can tell you what to do, I know.” Shining interrupted me. “But it’s not just about you. We have rules and command structures in place. We had to ensure that at least one of the Crystal Empire royals made it back to the capital. Nopony is above the rules. Not me. Not you.”

He glared back at me. The tilt of his brow hit me hard, with an expression I had never seen him point at me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to argue. I saved him, for goodness sake! And he thanked me with a lecture.

I opened my mouth to argue. I had words ready to fly out. I was prepared to fight about it right here and now. But those seconds gave me pause. 

He was right. Crap.

“I’m sorry.” I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. I watched them soften as the apology flowed out of me instead. “I couldn’t leave you there. They had you surrounded and I…” My words caught in my throat.

“We had it handled.” He reached his other hoof out to me, and I grabbed it.

“I’m not saying you couldn’t.” He tugged both of my arms, helping me back up to my shaky legs. “I just needed to make sure.”

“That wasn’t your call to make this time.”

“When is it my call to make?” I scanned the area, looking at all our soldiers in the crystal valley, and on the forested plateau. 

“When the situation calls for it.” He said. Most of the soldiers were trying to look like they weren’t paying attention to us, as they attended to our wounded, and secured the area. Did they agree with Shining? Were they judging me? Were they thankful that I came back?

“So, basically, when you say that I can make a decision...” I heard my voice get harsher than I wanted it to. Why was it so hard to control my temper?

“That’s not true.” He sighed, and rubbed his forehead. “Look, there’s no easy way to say this…” He paused, leaving the words hanging.

“Well, don’t stop now. Go on.” I gestured at him with my hoof, raising my eyebrows, and glaring at him. I had a feeling I knew what was coming. 

“Cadance, you’re a great Princess or…” his left eye twitched. “You were. When you had your memories. Without them, you’re basically new at this…”

“And?” My voice wavered. I was out of anger, and too drained to feel anything else. I was a cold dark crystal core that he was shattering. 

“And, please don’t be mad, but I don’t think you’re qualified to make some of these tough decisions, in your current condition.” He winced, probably expecting me to go off on him. 

But he was right. Again. I couldn’t argue with him anymore. There weren’t small pieces of myself missing. Entire chunks were gone. I was a stranger in my own body. Propelled forward by determination that, maybe, one day my memories would return. A blind hope. But that determination was weakening. Nearly breaking me.

“I’m a fraud.” I barely heard myself speak it. “I’m weak.”

“That’s not true!” Shining shouted. All of the nearby soldiers were staring at us. There was no pretense anymore. “Your condition is temporary.”

No use hiding it now. Even our enemies knew my condition. He kept telling me it was only for now. That my memories would come back. In vain I tried to dig into my mind, and recover something. Any memory would do. A meal. A day at school. A formal ball. A night of ravenous sex. Anything at all, if only I could find it in there somewhere. The fog in my brain thickened the harder I tried to find it. Digging through my head felt like I was bruising my temples. As if I was cutting into an open wound. There was nothing in there, and at this point, I was sure there would never be anything. 

I’m a fraud.

“Shining.” Flash had walked over to us at some point. They started talking, but I could hardly focus on what they were saying. 

“What is it, Captain?”

I had tried to convince myself by acting the part of a Princess.

“Is the attitude really necessary, sir? Are you planning to give me a dressing down like you did to Princess Cadance?”

I dressed the part. I spoke with authority. I met with advisors, and went to meetings, but Shining was the one holding the conversations. He had the knowledge and experience, while I just tagged along.

“Are you trying to tell me how to speak to my wife?”

“I’m trying to figure out logistics so we can get back to the capital before the Changelings regroup.”

I tried to go to war to fight for my ponies. I thought if I was brave enough I could make a difference. I had some magic. I wasn’t useless. Yet, I was a fool. A child playing pretend, and being humored by her peers.

“Watch your tone, soldier. The reason we’re out here at all was to save your sorry butt.”

Shining may have loved me, but did he respect me? Did I wake up in a Stallion’s world? Was I merely a figurehead to play Princess dress up while my husband ran the Kingdom? Had it always been like this? What more did I not remember? 

“And I bet that tears you apart inside, doesn’t it?”

“What is that supposed to mean, soldier?”

I felt the eyes of all the soldiers on me. Did any of them respect me? Was everyone just playing along, and I was just too privileged and important to be told the truth? A soft, fragile Princess. Was this the first time I’d ever stepped foot on a battlefield before now? Was the silver spoon shoved so far up my ass that I hardly felt it up in my ivory tower?

“The only reason you went through with this operation where you, once again, risked the lives of both heads of state, was because Twilight guilted you into doing it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You lost your chance to be rid of me forever. To keep me away from Twilight!”

Cadance was important, powerful, and worthy of respect. There were monuments to her greatness. A crystal that fed her magic. But if I couldn’t remember my greatness, was it even mine? What was I? A cute distraction for Shining Armor. A reminder to everyone of what they lost. I was paraded around like a living monument to what their real Princess used to be.

“As irritating as you are to me, I can’t stop Twilight from dating you.”

“Oh come on, we both know you've been trying to sabotage our relationship since day one.”

Was I supposed to just carry on being a pretty puppet? Just nod and smile as Shining and others made all the real decisions? Do I have no voice? No authority?

“What relationship? You two aren’t even together.”

“Yeah, thanks to you.”

“Is that what you think?”

Then when Princess Celestia calls on us, we’ll both smile and nod for her. The true ruler of the Crystal Empire. I was a puppet on a string held by a puppet on a string.

“Yeah that’s what I think!”

“You really think I’m the reason you and Twilight haven’t even gone on a real date?”

“Y-yes… You hate me because I’m not good enough for your baby sister. You won’t let her grow up, and you see me as a threat.”

Who knew if we’d even get another chance to bow to Celestia. The Changeling’s might turn us into soulless zombies first. That might be the only thing I remember: how I failed. 

“Flash… I think you’re an amazing match for Twilight.”

“...Wait what?”

Tell your Queen that the Crystal Empire will remain free of her tyranny. I had said that to the Changelings, but my words were as empty as my threat. I couldn’t even free myself. Free the hold my mind had on itself. How could I possibly free the Crystal Empire? How could I stop a war from happening? 

“You’re the bravest stallion I’ve ever met, but in this one regard, you’re a coward. You act like you’re into Twilight, but you keep dragging your hooves. You’re leading her on without committing!”

“T-that’s not true I-”

“Do you know how many times I’ve had to comfort her because she was left crying? Crying because you said something cryptic or dodged her question when she tried to take the next step with you.”

“I didn’t-”

“That’s right, ‘you didn’t.’ If you love somepony, tell them. Don't string them along for months and months to the point where they think they did something wrong. That something is wrong with them. Either tell Twilight you love her, or get the hell out of her life!”

I couldn’t take it anymore. The eyes. The staring. The yelling. Were they focusing on Shining and Flash now? Probably, but I still felt their judgment. Watch as the royals bicker amongst themselves. Free entertainment, right? I must look so ridiculous to them.

Frustrated tears stung my eyes. I needed to talk to Pell. She was the only one who understood me. The not Cadence me. The real me. The only me that was left. Cadance wasn't coming back.

I opened my wings and thrusted them at the ground, launching myself into the sky once more. The daylight was fading behind me as I soared my way back to the capital. The spire of the Crystal Castle glowed way off in the distance. At the peak of that castle was the Crystal Heart. The ultimate evidence of my fraud. My deception. I flew up into the sky until I was cruising through the low stratus clouds, adding my tears to them as if they were the rain. 





****

> Chapter 12
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pell was nowhere to be found in the Castle. All non essential personnel were sent into underground shelters while we were out fighting the Changelings. She was pretty essential as far as I was concerned. Even if it made sense that my hair and makeup were not of the utmost importance. Especially if I wasn’t around at the time. 

Crying and fighting left me looking like a train wreck. Enough to make the castle sentries concerned when I arrived back alone. When stallion sentries who are paid to be stoic notice that you look like hell, you know you look like hell. Changeling checkpoints were at every entryway of the castle, and every staircase to each level. I went through at least three Changeling spell checks before I finally got some privacy. Too much privacy with the absence of Pell. My vanity and lounge rooms were empty without her. It wasn’t very likely that the Changelings would attack us soon after that fight, but it was still a possibility. The infiltration and capture of Captain Flash had shook everyone to their core. Anyone could be compromised at any time. The usual friendly smiles and warm demeanor of the castle were replaced by tepid grimaces and a dark cloud of dread.

Speaking of clouds, I did have one tiny stroke of luck. Another pegasi rain shower was scheduled tonight. Maybe the rain would help drown out my chaotic thoughts. Part of me wanted to jump into the spa bath, and melt away in my own little pool of comfort. Unfortunately, all the ponies who knew how to set up the bath just right were underground with Pell. I’d probably throw in too much of one aromatic and make it smell weird. Although anything would be better than the rocky cave floor. As soon as I heard the gentle falling droplets, I decided to step out into the rain. 

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the sound of the rainfall, and the rhythmic pitter patter of the rain on my hide. Instead of comfort, every drop hit like an accusation on my back.

Liar. Fraud. Failure. Incompetent. Liability. Stubborn. Dangerous. Arrogant. Fool.

The rain told me, until it fell so fast it just flowed into a river of guilt down my body. Far from washing my sins away, I bathed in them. It was punishment. It was solitude. It was what I deserved.  

“I thought I might find you out here.”

My head snapped left to see Shining Armor standing next to me. How long had he been standing there? His mane and fur were already as soaked as I was. I had so many things to say to him, yet I didn’t want to talk to him right now. I didn’t want to be seen by anyone. Every face I looked at exposed me, and his was the worst. I was naked in front of him. I tried to surface my anger. Blame him for how I felt, for what he said to me. How dare he make me feel weak and incompetent after saving his ass? Every word I tried to say got swallowed by the lump in my throat and died. I just stood there looking at his cute face, and dumb little grin on his masculine muzzle. Because, dammit, I had grown quite fond of his idiosyncrasies. 

“Hey.” Not exactly a soliloquy from me. A soggy tuft of his blue hair had drawn over his eye. I took it in my hoof and dragged it behind his ear. 

“Thank you.” He said, biting his bottom lip.

“For your hair?” I finally grinned for the first time in days.

“No.” He chuckled, “For saving me.”

“I thought it was the wrong call.”

“It was.” He nodded, and I raised an eyebrow. “But you were worried about me. And if I was in your position, and I thought I might never see you again…” He paused, not wanting to add to the rain. “I get it. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same.”

“I’ll ask Flash if he can think of any examples.”

“Is this what he feels like all the time?” He stood right next to my side and put his arm around me.

“Probably.” I held him back as we stared out into the rainy capital together. One by one, the lights in pony’s houses would go out for the night, dimming the evening glow like a collective beast closing its eyes. 

“Did you mean what you said to Flash?” He stayed silent, looking out at his city. “About him and Twilight.”

He nodded softly, taking in a long breath. 

“I thought you said he was one of those military stallions who used mares like tissues, and threw them out.” He looked at me as a red hue stained his wet white cheek.

“I knew better than that.” He admitted, tilting his head at the balcony floor. “I was afraid his hesitation would eventually break Twilight, basically doing the same thing those other jerks do.”

“So, you lied to me?” His head snapped back to look at me. “What else have you been lying to me about?” I widened my eyes, glaring down at him. Watching his face panic as his pupils shrank. Doing my best to hold in my snickering.

“I-I well… you see it’s not the same I-” 

I gripped the back of his head with my free hoof, making him face me. “I’m messing with you, you insecure goofball.” I kissed him on the forehead, just to the left of his horn. He leaned into me and we stood head to head for a few moments.

“Are you upset with me?” he asked.

“I was.”

“Not anymore?”

“Depends on what you say next.”

“Then I’ll tell you that I thought your entrance was really cool.” He said, rubbing his hoof up and down my back. If I were a cat, I would have purred. “Like a superhero.”

“I was so tired and exhausted, I had no idea what I was doing.” I rubbed his shoulder back. 

“Well you fooled me, and the Changelings.”

“That was the idea.” I sighed out loud, still recovering from the last two days. “How do you fight like that? How do you not get too tired, or freeze at the fear of death? I don’t think I could do it.”

“But you did.” He nodded, hugging me a little tighter. “You faced death and didn’t freeze or falter. Even though it was your first…”

“My first what?” I said, watching him physically shiver. 

“Well it’s not really your first time-”

“Yes it is.”

“I don’t like to think of it that way.”

“Too bad. That’s reality now.” I regretted my harsh tone. I didn’t know how else to deal with it. I understood why Pell was so insistent, so urgent that I made him face the truth.

“What?” He paused his petting to turn and look at me face to face. 

“Shining…” There was no way to put it lightly. Either I break him now, or I live in his fantasy. A fantasy that would eventually destroy us both. “I’m not her. I’m not Cadance.”

“Of course you are. You’re right here. You’re real, I can see you.”

“It’s just an image of her. A fake.” I gestured to my body with my hoof. “I woke up a few weeks ago, for the first time. This is who I am. I look like her, but I’m someone else.”

“It’s just temporary. We’re gonna find a way to get your-”

“Who’s gonna find a way?” I yelled too loud, and he flinched. He broke his embrace as we turned to face each other. 

“Twilight is-”

“What is Twilight’s latest update on that? How’s the progress going? What lead does she have?” I wouldn’t let him finish a sentence. I doubt I would have let him cut me off this many times. 

“Well, nothing. It’s the same problem as before. The memories are trapped in your essence, and recovery methods could be lethal…” He paused himself this time as if it pained him to think of the consequences of doing drastic magic.

“Holding on to hope is one thing. But for now, and possibly forever, you have to let go of her.”

“What am I supposed to let go of? You’re right here for Celestia’s sake!” He screamed, pointing at me.

“You don’t love me, you love Cadance!” I closed my eyes and shouted. He didn’t say anything else and I was afraid to open them. 

“You’re not Cadance?” He questioned out loud for the first time. I opened my eyes, and saw him looking at someone different. His gaze was curious, and lost. 

“I haven’t been Cadance. Not since I woke up from my week long coma.”

“No, no, no, no, no…” He repeated, covering his ears with his hooves, and shaking his head. 

“I’m not her. She’s gone, and I took her place. I’m so sorry Shining, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to exist like this. I just…” He was crying now. I knew every word I said was tearing him apart, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. “I want to love you, Shining. But I’m afraid you’ll never love me. You’ll only love her, and I can’t be her. I can’t pretend. I tried but-”

“Then who are you?” He pointed at me again. His tears were pouring down his cheek, separated from the rain. 

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “But I’m desperate, Shining. I’m desperate to figure that out so I can finally start living again. Because I feel like I’m still waking up. Like weeks haven’t gone by. My head is clouded and I want out. I need out. I want to be awake again. Please. Will you help me figure it out?” I reached out my hoof to him. He hesitated, looking fearful at my face, then my hoof. 

“Will you help me?” I asked again.

“You’re…” He took a step forward.

“You’re…” His hoof was right next to mine when his eyes darkened. He made the same face he made in combat, when he swung his lance at his enemies. I wanted to step back, to run away, but I held my ground. If he attacked me now as the fraud I was, so be it. I had nothing save for him and this empire. This castle and stolen crown. If I couldn’t have it, let him end it now in her name.

“You’re not Cadance!” 

I flinched as his body was upon mine. There was no blow, there was no fight. His head rested in my chest, and his arms wrapped around my back.

“You’re not Cadance.” He repeated, wet hot tears streamed into my chest.

“I know, I know.” I rubbed his soaked hair with my hoof. The rain felt like it was falling harder, even if it wasn’t. 

“It’s not fair.” His voice was high and strained. Very undignified and unbecoming of a Prince. “You were right there in Chrysalis’s cave. We saved you. We saved you!” He screamed so loud, someone may have heard it in the city square. Fortunately, the night was quiet and empty.

“And now you’re telling me we didn’t save you?” He sniffed and sobbed. His body convulsed as he spoke. “We won. We brought you home, but you never woke up. This other y-you woke up instead.” He looked up at me with pain and realization in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” A woefully insufficient sentiment from me.

“She’s really gone?” He gritted his teeth, trying to stop the tears. 

“I’m sorry.” I could only apologize to him now that the truth was out. And yet my apologies felt trivial to his pain.

“She’s gone…” He failed to stop the tears. “Cadance…” I could feel his body shaking all over.

“Cadance!”

He shouted, holding her last syllable as long as he could. Until his breath failed him, and he had to gasp for more air.

“I’m sorry.” I said again. He remained quiet in my arms, as I rubbed his back. Letting the Prince grieve in my bosom. I don’t know how long we stayed out on the balcony. And I don’t remember going back inside to bed that night. We grieved the death of his Cadence together.




****

> Chapter 13
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up in his bed, covered in sheets that smelled like him. He was long gone, and judging by the light coming in through the window, it was already midday. I had missed breakfast, and probably lunch. Not to mention whatever other meetings and business was on my schedule. Was it Wednesday? Was I supposed to meet with the city’s planners on new construction, or the civil engineers about monthly maintenance? Whatever, it must not have been super important if no servants came looking for me. Pell would normally have a sharp opinion on me sleeping in. 

“Oh good you’re finally awake, my lady.”

Speak of the devil herself.

“Pell!” I said way too excited.

“Yes, me.” She nodded as she darted straight for the curtains. “And why is it so dark in here?” I shielded my eyes just in time, as the light wrapped around my hooves and stung the corners of my firmly shut eyes. 

“Why was I allowed to sleep so long?” I said as I slowly opened my eyes to readjust. Shining’s room was similar to mine. The door was on the right instead of the left, and his crystal furniture had a blue semi-transparent hue instead of a magenta one. His bed was a king size instead of a queen. For some reason that irritated me. 

“Are you a school filly?” She asked as she picked up linens off of the floor. “Do you need an alarm clock, or a mother to shake you awake?” She walked over as I started sitting up, and playfully tugged on my shoulder. “Cadance sweetie,” her voice was mockingly saccharine, “It’s time to get up for school.”

I couldn’t help but giggle as I batted her hooves away.

“You know what I mean.” I leapt out of bed and stretched my back. “Normally I would be interrupted by something important if I tried to sleep this long.”

“Well, Shining said you needed your rest.” She started making the bed now that I was on my hooves. “So he took on all of your appointments or rescheduled them.”

“Oh.” I felt my cheeks flush. “That was nice of him.” More like condescending. As if he needed to pick up the slack for a Princess who wasn’t qualified for her own title. Then again, after our conversations last night, maybe he thought he was doing me a favor?

“Do you plan to punish him for his kindness?” Pell raised an eyebrow at my sour expression. Maybe he was trying to be kind and let me sleep. I wasn’t accustomed to battle like he was. It made sense to give me some consideration. It was hard to not be insecure after the lecture he gave me on the battlefield. And now… oh no, I had almost forgotten about last night. Maybe he was more than happy to avoid me at this point. 

“Should I move your things to this room?” Pell smiled so genuinely. “I assume you’ll be staying in here for the foreseeable future?”

“I would hold off on that.” I looked at the floor, not wanting to spoil her fantasy the way I did Shining’s.

“So you did tell him.” She walked over to the door and closed it, so no one could hear us from the hallway. “I was worried you had put it off when I saw you in here.”

“Yeah I told him.”

“How did he take it?”

“Better than I thought, worse than I hoped.” 

Pell sighed as she fluffed out the pillow I had slept on, placing a new case on the feather filled cushion. 

“At least it’s done.” Something about her phrasing put a pit in my stomach. “Will you be divorcing soon?” She asked far too casually.

“Is everything just black and white for you?” I crossed my hooves in a huff.

“No, I just like to be prepared for the worst.”

I had no idea what to add to that, and I hated this conversation topic. Hated it because my heart ached at the thought. And, I quickly recognized, I was scared of losing him.

“Were you afraid yesterday, during the evacuation?” I asked Pell.

She turned to face me. The bed looked immaculate enough to be in an advertisement. A royal blue pillow tucked cozily next to a magenta pillow in a cream colored comforter. 

“Afraid, yes.” She crossed her hooves to match mine. “Disheartened, no.”

“What makes you so-”

“The Crystal Heart shone brightly while my lord and lady were out defending our kingdom.” Her head was held high. “I knew we couldn’t be defeated.”

“Thank you for that.” I smiled even though my chest clutched with guilt ridden pain. 

“For being optimistic?”

“For always being what I need, instead of what I want.” A tiny bit of warmth returned to my cold crystal heart. I had a mischievous thought to mess up the layers of decorative pillows on the bed and run from the room giggling.  

“You don’t want me, my lady?” Pell’s pouty face almost looked convincing. 

“I want my servants to be seen and not heard.” My wicked grin turned sideways up my cheek.

“Hmm.” Pell gave a single nod. “I was gonna have a feast of a late breakfast prepared for you, but how does cold gruel sound instead?” Her smile was as sweet as sugar.

“I’ll take it.” I called her bluff. “With our chefs, I’m sure even gruel will still taste amazing.”

“Well, you’re fortunate that I’m in the mood for banana-nut waffle cakes and tiramisu crepes.” She moved to open the bedroom door again. My mouth watered at the very mention of that breakfast, and that was probably only the first course. “It’s waiting for us in the east dining hall.” She gestured to the castle hallway as the sound of the midday bustle filled my ears. 

It was improper for a servant to dine with a Princess while on duty. However, I didn’t give a rat's butt about that, and Pell knew it. I walked with her side by side down the hall as we chatted and caught up on the last few days. The last 48 hours felt like an entire year had passed. We arrived together at the long oak wood table in the east dining hall. As soon as we sat down, the kitchen staff brought out tray after tray of decadent breakfast masterpieces, just as Pell had promised.

“I hope you have a large appetite today, my lady.” The head chef bowed to me with a big grin on his face. “I felt the need to make up for lost meals since it’s close to 2pm.”

Was everyone going to comment on my sleeping in? I smiled gratefully as he adjusted his chef’s hat. Bowing with that hat was a chore on its own.

“Oh I am starving, Carnelian.” I had learned his name recently, and tried to learn as many of the servant’s names as possible. “And if I wasn’t, I’d make room for this.” My greedy eyes scanned the waffle tower sitting in front of me and Pell.

“There is no way the two of us will even make a dent in all of this.” I shook my head, already tasting the caramel dripping off the sides of the bananas and cream. 

“Don’t worry, my lady.” Carnelian’s eyes drew to his own creation. “I always let my staff help themselves to your leftovers. They won’t go to waste.”

I paused as an impulsive idea stuck me.

“Why don’t you all join us while it’s hot and fresh?” I looked down at the many empty chairs at the long table. It never seemed right to me that the table should be so sparse at every meal. It was only ever full when a large party of dignitaries came to dine at the castle. 

“My lady, we couldn’t…” He blushed as he glanced over at Pell, already seated next to me with her own table setting already in front of her.

“Why not?” I said as steam gently wafted off of the numerous trays of food. “Consider it my treat. Well, actually it’s your treat, but you get the idea.”

“I…” Carnelian stared at Pell as if asking for permission. She just shrugged in response. “My lady, we would be honored to dine with you.” He bowed one more time, and scurried off back through the double swinging doors to the kitchen. 

“You’re in a good mood today. Must be all the sleep you had.” Pell commented. Her own gaze couldn’t help but linger on our feast. Like well trained dogs, we restrained ourselves from digging in just yet.

“Yesterday I was in combat for my life.” I closed my eyes to draw a deep breath. When the images of yesterday’s battle came forward, I opened them again before the thoughts could ruin my appetite. “I guess I feel like celebrating being alive today and hopefully tomorrow.” 

After a moment, the double doors swung open and the entire kitchen staff walked gleefully into the dining hall. More than two dozen crystal ponies in white chef’s coats, or black serving button down shirts took their seats at the many open spots. A few of the servers brought out table settings for everyone. They calmly and professionally laid out everyone’s plate and cutlery before taking a seat for themselves. A few more servers poured juice and water for everyone, before doing the same. I grabbed my glass of orange juice and stood up.

“Friends.” I said as all eyes turned to me. “To the greatest kitchen staff in the Crystal Empire- Neigh!” I thought for a second. “In all of greater Equestria and beyond.” I held up my glass as everyone cheered and raised their glasses as well. The dining hall was filled with the sounds of glass clinking and cheerful muttering. Sounds that were all too infrequent for a hall that was meant to have it. 

We dined. We laughed. We shared. We feasted. It was the first true celebration I’d had since I woke up in a Princess’s body. Everyday was filled with duties, meetings, and sometimes to our despair, tragedy. Today there would be no tragedy. We would eat, drink, and celebrate. Tradition and duty be damned.

“My lord!” Carnelian’s panicked voice made me spin around to face the entrance to the dining hall. 

“Oh.” Shining Armor’s blinked as he glanced around the room. He was flanked by pretty much every city organizer and politician I had seen or dealt with thus far. I recognized the mayor of the Crystal Capital, the head of the city commission, the police chief, the fire marshal, and many other important ponies. 

“My lord, we were just we…” Carnelian fumbled with his hat as he waved his free hoof at the staff. In a second, they were all standing up, and moving to clean up the room. 

“I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” Shining raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t looked at me yet. Was that on purpose? The situation was pretty distracting. It could have just been my imagination. 

“We were just cleaning up.” Carnelian bowed to his Prince.

“It was my idea.” I blurted out, and Shining finally looked my way. I couldn’t read what was on his face. He looked a bit confused, yet also so neutral. He was never neutral. Even when sitting through boring meetings. 

“What was your idea?” He said to me, but switched to look at Carnelian before I could say anything. “We’re about to hold a meeting for the Crystal Fair Council, but we can wait until you’re all done.”

The Crystal Fair? I had forgotten about that. Twilight had told me about the annual festival. How she and her friends helped host the first one since the Crystal Ponies were asleep in stasis for a thousand years. Which was still something I struggled to wrap my head around. A thousand year nap, only to wake up in a completely different world than the one you remember. It really put my own situation into perspective. 

“I’m so sorry to delay you and the council, my lord.” Carnelian bowed again. “We will have the room spotless for you in-”

“Carnelian!” Shining yelled and the head chef flinched. I gave him a nasty look for his tone as he cleared his throat. “Nopony is in trouble. I don’t care about this…” he gestured around the room. Carnelian recoiled, his face looked like Shining had struck him.  “I-I mean I don’t mind that you're all eating together. It’s fine. And the meeting can wait. Please… uh finish at your leisure.” 

Shining and Carnelian stood in silence for a moment. The Crystal Fair council members looked around at each other, shrugging and mumbling. The kitchen staff had frozen in place. Some had half filled a cart with used plates and cutlery. Their faces looked uncomfortable. Nopony seemed to know what to do. 

“Did everyone get enough to eat?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence. The kitchen staff nodded and mumbled soft affirmations as they continued to clean up the breakfast area. As quickly as our impromptu mid afternoon breakfast began, it was over. There was a somber hush as the staff carted off dishes, and wiped down the table. Despite the slowness of their movements, the room was clean and clear of kitchen staff remarkably fast. Nobody bothered to say anything until the double kitchen doors stopped swinging for the last time. The city delegates chatted quietly to each other, waiting to be instructed before sitting at the immaculate table. The kitchen staff had placed a frilly tablecloth and a rose bouquet centerpiece to make the room look more inviting for the meeting. 

“Way to read the room.” I smirked at Shining. He spun a little too sharply to face me.

“Can you not right now?” His annoyed expression caught me off guard. 

“Can I not what?” I held up my hooves while leaning back in my seat.

“Can you… nevermind.” He levitated a stack of notes with his magic, placing them on the long table. He screeched the chair along the floor as he pulled it out and plopped down like a missile into the seat. He let out a grumbling sigh as he fiddled with his meeting notes. 

“Who levitated your cereal off the balcony today?” 

“Everypony, have a seat, please.” He called to the meeting staff, completely ignoring me. “We’ll begin in just a moment.”

“Is everything ok?” I said as everyone did as Shining asked, ignoring the two of us by chatting away with their own conversations while laying out their books, notes, and scrolls.

“Everything is fine.” He glared firmly at the table, avoiding my gaze. I had seen him more “fine” on the battlefield. Literally yesterday. “I just need you not to be a distraction right now. This is a very important meeting.”

My voice cut to a low tenor, and I did my best to keep my volume low. “A distraction?” I looked around the room. No one was staring at us. We hadn’t caused a scene just yet. “Should I leave? I don’t want to distract you from your meeting.”

“No, you should be at the meeting. We’re talking about the Crystal Fair and everypony is nervous and scared…” He paused, calming himself down. Inhaling with his hoof on his chest, and exhaling extending his hoof outward. Similar to what Twilight did to calm down. Except, unlike Twilight, it seemed to visibly work for Shining. “We need you at the meeting, just…” he made circle motions with his hooves. “Don’t be a distraction.”

“So don’t participate.” I leaned against my hoof with my elbow on the table.

He turned to glare directly at me, making me miss him avoiding eye contact. I could deal with no eye contact, the glares were making me angry.

“Stop putting words in my mouth.” He hissed.

I wanted to get up and leave. Screw this. I didn't know what his problem was today. I didn’t want to know. Was it because of last night? He finally accepted the truth, but he couldn’t handle it yet. Pell’s mild comment of divorce sent a shock of panic to my heart. I stayed silent in my seat, moving as little as possible so as not to distract anyone. I had never seen this many ponies for just one meeting. Almost every seat at this obnoxiously long table was filled. The Crystal Fair was the most important event of the year, so I was told, and it was happening in the middle of a crisis.

I was about to get up and storm out when Shining turned away from me and abruptly began the meeting.

“Friends.” He stood up, leaning over the table with his hooves resting on his notes. Everypony ceased their private conversations to give the Prince their undivided attention. “I won’t mince words with you.” Most of the Crystal ponies looked to be about middle aged or older, with a few young faced exceptions. Their sparkly coats blended together like a stained glass menagerie. It was a sight I had gotten used to seeing. The vast majority of the population was of this crystalized variant of pony. Their bodies were still fur, and their manes hair. The natural glow was an aesthetic appearance that was chalked up to a mix of magic, and genetic adaptation to the Crystal Mountain regions. Today it stuck out to me like it did on the first day when I woke up. The stark contrast between the matted, pastel colored ponies (myself, Flash, and Shining), and these crystal creatures who otherwise looked like us. 

“The Changeling threat is far from behind us. Our Captain and brave soldiers have been successfully returned to us, following a victorious battle where the mountains meet the forest. However…”

Shining’s sober eyes didn’t match the triumph of his speech.

“The enemy outnumbers us. Greatly. Our best posture is a defensive one. Captain Flash Sentry and I believe their likely next target is our most well defended position: the capital.”

He paused, but no Crystal Pony even considered interjecting.

“As much as I would love to take the fight to them, to spare the capital and its citizens the horror and trauma of being the epicenter of a battle…” He bit his bottom lip. His shoulders started to slump before he forced them back to a better posture, sticking out his chest. “The truth is we would likely lose that battle. We were lucky enough to outmaneuver the Changelings while their Queen was absent. Without the Crystal Heart boosting our shields and weapons, we are vulnerable. The highest probability of winning, resulting in the lowest casualties, would be to rebuff an assault on the capital itself.”

The elegant and well respected Crystal Pony representatives whispered and muttered to each other. Shining allowed them a moment to digress amongst themselves.


“When they attack, not if, when.” Shining made a point to make direct eye contact with as many ponies as possible at that comment. Everyone except me. “The civilian population will be evacuated to the underground shelters, and the battle will begin properly. The shields will buy us enough time for the evacuation under normal circumstances, so as the innocent are protected, and also not a liability to the defense effort.”

I raised my eyebrow at the word “liability.” I wasn’t the only one who reacted to his word choice. A soldier may be required to think of things this way in a battle, even if it comes across diminishing. Was I just another liability to him? Along with his entire Kingdom?

“Unfortunately, this leads me to the heart of the issue today.” Shining glanced at Flash Sentry, who was sitting directly across from Shining and myself. “I won’t sugar coat this, the Crystal Fair is likely an enemy soft target. Our evacuation plans are designed for normal daily hoof traffic circumstances. The Crystal Fair will have everypony centralized in one location, which could easily lead to congestion and panic in an emergency situation. A botched evacuation could lead to catastrophe in the event of a Changeling assault. Therefore, I conclude that the Crystal Fair must be canceled until the Changeling threat is diminished.”

The meeting room was silent. Everyone sat thinking and reflecting on the bomb Shining Armor had just dropped on them. The meeting room sat still like a painting, with Shining leaning over the dark wood table facing his stunned council members. 

“My lord, if I may...” A silver unicorn spoke up from a few seats down. His eyes were wrinkled with worn fur wrapping around his cheeks. His beard was peppered gray and white on his chin that tucked down into his exposed collar bone. He looked as if sitting was tiring for him. I recognized him as the current mayor of the Crystal Capital. The oldest citizen in the Crystal Empire. 

“Of course you may.” Shining nodded, sitting down and putting himself at eye level with the Crystal elder. “This is a discussion. I want to know what everypony is thinking and feeling. The Princess and I may have final say on the issue, but I won’t go against the will of this council.”

Do what I say or fight your Prince on the issue, and if it goes south it’s your fault not mine. Was that me putting words in his mouth again? It was hard for me not to read into what he said that way. 

“Your risk assessment is correct, and you are wise to be cautious. A large festival crowd does indeed bring greater risk to a potential evacuation.” The elder took a moment to breathe audibly. I would have thought he was asleep if his eyes weren’t appraising Shining as if he were some sort of puzzle. 

“So you agree it should be canceled, Mr. Mayor?” Shining asked and got a long solemn gaze as his response. 

“Do you remember the first Crystal Fair we held after our long slumber?” The elder finally said. The Crystal Ponies in the room straightened their backs and drew in deep breaths at the mention of the thousand year stasis they had experienced. 

“Of course I do.” Shining looked offended. “I was there. We defeated Sombra. The Princess and I were crowned under the light of the Crystal Heart. I will never forget that day.”

The Princess? Was he avoiding saying my name?

“I’m sure you do, my lord.” The mayor’s soft head nod took longer than breakfast did. “We usually remember the what, and the where, and the who, and how.” His rhythmic whisper of a voice was like listening to a poetry reading, or a song. “But we often forget the ‘why.’” His song cadenced. 

“I don’t understand.” Shining shook his head. “What does this have to do with…?”

“When did we hold that festival?” His song went into the next verse. 

“Well, let me think.” Shining scratched his chin as he pondered. “It was after my wedding, but before…”

“Was it before or after Sombra was defeated?” The mayor interrupted.

Shining’s jaw tightened as he pondered the old stallion’s question.

“Before.” He finally answered. His face remained confused, but his shoulders relaxed. As if his body understood the meaning behind the question. 

“What sort of irresponsible leaders would hold a festival while a threat like Sombra- the very evil who put our people asleep for a thousand years, still loomed over us?” The mayor tilted his head as he finished his sassy quip. 

A shift occurred in the meeting. Only a moment ago, crystal faces of respected members of the community had looked upon their mayor with sympathy. The same sympathy I had seen afforded to me way too often since I woke up. A loving sympathy disguising an unfair truth that the one you sympathized with was naive. Mistaken. Out of touch. Unaware. Incapable.

Wrong.

Those same faces shifted to their Prince. Faces that shared a burning question within them that none of them dared express outloud. None of them except the gentle, naive, old stallion.

“That was different.” Shining shook his head. “You had just woken up. The Crystal Heart was depleted. There was no defense against Sombra unless that ancient magic could be awakened. It was our only recourse, so we took it.”

“Is the same not true now?” The elder pleaded. Shining and Flash shared a pensive glance with each other. I guess they finally agreed on something. It was weird to see them on the same page.

“The Crystal Heart is fully functional.” Flash chimed in for his Prince. “It’s emitting plenty of power to run the city, and our defensive measures. We appreciate the love and community of the Crystal Ponies.” 

We appreciate, he says.

“And we know that the Heart converts that love energy directly into power.”

But, I knew a “but” was coming.

“However,” close enough. Flash continued, “With the power reserves being as high as they are, it seems excessive and greedy to put the population at risk, unnecessarily, just to obtain more power.”

He kept referring to it as power. I didn’t think the elder nor the other council members were interested in obtaining power. I looked at Shining and Flash’s faces, noting their complexion. I looked at my own hooves. Compared to the Crystal Ponies we were drab, matte, and pale. I couldn’t help but notice that the dull colored outsiders seemed to be the ones directing the conversation. Making all of the decisions. 

“It is the same now as it was then.” The mayor’s gentle voice carried a weight that gave Shining and Flash pause. “Our people are afraid, lost, confused, uncertain of the future. We are suspicious of each other to the point where one can’t turn a street corner without three ponies demanding you undergo a Changeling test. We need the Crystal Fair now as much as we did then. Perhaps more so. We must, once again, be reminded of who we are.”

“We understand the risks.” Mr. Mayor looked directly at Flash, then to Shining. Calculated risks win wars, the Captain had said to me recently. “If we cannot be allowed to be who we are, then you should take down your shields and let the Changelings in.”

Shining and Flash staggered back in their seats. Both blinking stallions looked at each other, not sure if what they heard was real. They looked at the other council members for a reaction, but the community ponies, some young, some old, looked soberly at each other and said nothing. 

Shining rubbed the back of his neck. Collecting himself enough to respond. “I-I understand how you feel.”

Do you? I thought. I wasn’t sure I understood, but I knew that he meant it. The Crystal Pony’s identity was more important to him than their safety. Did all of them feel that way?

“But safety is paramount in the current climate.” Shining sounded like he was quoting someone else. 

“I ask that we put it to a vote.” The mayor said as his fellow council members turned their gazes back to Shining. 

“Well, certainly.” Shining looked away from the elder to his notes. “I don’t mind that, but you must understand that the royal party has final say on matters such as this.”

I thought you weren't going to go against their will. I remember his words from just a moment ago.

“We are well aware.” The elder smiled. The cracks in his cheeks outlined the warmth from his eyes that surrounded and filled the room. His stare wasn’t one of resentment, but of pity. It was Shining’s turn to be the out of touch, naive voice in the room. “All the same. We would like to put our votes on the record.”

“Very well.” Shining stood up and scanned the faces of everyone in the room. Forcing himself to make eye contact with them, even if he wanted to look away. 

“All in favor of proceeding with the annual Crystal Fair, please raise your hoof.” Shining watched as every crystal complexion raised a sparkling hoof into the air. He was completely and utterly outvoted.

All of the confidence drained from his voice. “Any opposed?” 

He swallowed as he looked down at the Captain of his royal guard. “Flash?” Flash took a moment to absorb the room.

“I have no vote. I stand with the decision of my Lord.” Flash’s eyes drew to mine. “And Lady.”

Shining turned to me for the first time since the meeting began.

“Princess?” He regarded me with suspicion. I had fought him so many times. I would lash out and rebel anytime I thought he, or someone, was trying to impose their will on me. I had acted on impulse so many times in the name of my own self expression. My selfishness had gotten in my own way and risked many lives. Including his and my own. He expected me to vote against him. I could read it on his face. Just another rebellious act from the naive Princess who thought she could get away with anything. Impose her will while denying the will of others. Yet, if I voted with him, I would be imposing his will onto the Crystal Ponies, as if it were my own. Their voice was clear. It was their time to be heard, not mine.

“Abstain.” I threw my tie break in the trash. Everyone’s face looked shocked, except for the elder, who sat amused. He stroked his considerable beard as he pondered my decision. Or lack thereof.

I stood from my seat and walked towards the exit door. 

“Where are you going?” Shining demanded. “You’re just gonna walk out on this?” I turned to look at his betrayed eyes. 

“The Crystal Ponies have made their decision clear.” I watched as Shining’s expression turned dumbfounded. “I don’t know why you and I would even bother to cast a vote. This is their identity and culture, not ours. We should, above all, respect that.” 

I turned and left the room without another word. No one called for me to stop. If Shining was going to overrule the will of his own Kingdom, he would have to do it on his own. I wouldn’t contribute to any pretense of consensus or compromise. The Crystal Ponies knew who they were and were willing to fight for it. Possibly die for it. It was time I learned who I was.




****

> Chapter 14
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shining Armor avoided me all day at the Crystal Fair. That's not entirely true. I was avoiding him as well. Things had not gone smoothly for us after the meeting. Even though Shining relented to the will of the council, and begrudgingly saw the wisdom in persevering with the festival, he blamed me for… I'm not sure what exactly, but it felt like I did something wrong. Every interaction with him was draining and guilt ridden for me. I could tell it was mentally taxing and conflicting for him as well. We compounded the stress of being a ruler during a time of crisis for each other, instead of soothing it. Not much of a healthy marriage if you could even call it a marriage. I wasn’t his Cadance anymore, and his eyes let me know it every time he saw me.

So, we took the easy way out: we avoided each other.

Pell was more than happy to accompany me on the festival grounds. No fancy dresses or make up today. Just my natural self. Even though getting ready this morning was much quicker than usual, Pell still spent a decent amount of time with her usual fussing. 

I sat in front of a large mirror - my typical spot while Pell worked her magic. Staring past my own reflection. Thoughts leaping around in my head, while emotions dragged me down. The cheeriest of morning sunlight beamed through the windows, practically mocking me with its glow.

“I’m afraid I don’t remember much about the last fair?” I admitted shyly to Pell, probably the only person who could understand my situation to its fullest. 

Pell practically squealed, “Oh, don’t you worry. Leave everything to me.”

I did exactly that. Putting my trust in my friend to ensure I had a good time. Even though my heart wasn’t in it. Despite the celebration happening all around me, I felt like a stranger impeding on another culture’s festivities. 

Pell led me by the hoof through the city streets. It was only my second time walking down this paved crystal, and the festival made the capital look like a completely different city. The streets were filled with rows of circus tents. Canvas concoctions held together by rope and wire. Strings connected each tent to the other making it difficult to tell where one ended and the next began, save for the change in color as you walked down the road. The real city structures loomed in the shadows behind this temporary festival town. Obscured just enough to draw your eyes away from reality, allowing one to live in the illusion of this fanciful marketplace. 

I tried not to draw attention to myself. But, of course, ponies recognized me. I waved back and faked my best smile. Pell, bless her heart, didn’t let me wallow. 

“My Lady, did you ever get a chance to try those crepes?” Pell’s breakneck pace left me staggering behind her. Or perhaps I was meandering too much. I couldn’t help but absorb all the eye candy around me. The smells of food alone were enough to distract me from walking normally.

“Actually, no. I never did.”

Pell gasped, and pretended to clutch pearls that weren’t around her neck. “They have a tent set up every year. Follow me.” She tilted her head left as we approached an intersection. Dashing down the new street, I saw what looked like crystal statues on sticks as we entered the food district of the festival. Speaking of candy, a sweet aroma assaulted my senses as I realized the crystal statues were giant fake lollipops. The sticks were supposed to be the paper base of each lollipop, all topped with a colorful plastic pop that looked too large for the skinny sticks to hold up. It was like walking through a forest of lollipops. 

“Cadance?” Pell’s voice snapped me out of my trance. “Are you going to stare at giant candy facades all day, or do you want a real treat?”

I grinned maliciously. “Sorry Mom, I’ll be good.” 

“Call me ‘mom’ again, and I’ll take you to the raw vegetable tent.”

“Is that a real tent?” Honestly, I’d believe anything at this point. 

It was then I noticed the balloons. So many balloons tied to poles, tents, and streamers. It looked like this lightweight minicity could lift off at any moment. Perhaps the tents were already hovering a few inches off the ground? I grinned to myself at the mental image. This section of the festival was more crowded. Obviously the smells drew people in.

“Greetings, my lady!” “Welcome.” “You honor us by being here.” I heard such phrases many times as we threaded our way through the crowd. I tried my best to acknowledge and smile at each pony as I noticed them. I was somewhat surprised that they didn’t swamp Pell and I, trying to keep my attention and company. They were certainly star struck, yet gave us our space. Left us room to pass and carry on our way. I had assumed the palace servants behaved this way because they were instructed to. Trained to not impose on royalty as they went about their own duties. It seemed more accurate to me now that this behavior was ingrained in the culture of all the Crystal Ponies. I suppose when a community survives a shared trauma like they all did, it breeds a certain humility and grace. However, it would be foolish to mistake their politeness for weakness. They are a proud people. I could see it in their crisp and eager bows. A showing of reverence that always came with a knowing smile, and a strong glimmer in their eyes. When a Crystal Pony rose up from their bow, their posture turned taller, and their chest stuck out higher. They would fight for what they had. Never giving up as long as their Crystal Heart emitted so much as a photon of light.

I pitied the Changelings, and any being who dared cross them. Because when push came to shove, the ones left standing would be the ponies who shined in the daylight, and sparkled in the moonlight.

Lost in thought, I almost dropped the heaping crepe Pell shoved my way. Holding it like the delicate and tender pastry that it was, I was ushered over to a small table covered with a light purple tablecloth. Sitting atop was a tray of toppings each in its own neat little container: confectioners sugar, honey, hot sauce, and chocolate. 

“Try it without adding anything at first.” Pell suggested. I nodded and took a tentative bite. I chewed thoughtfully and then my taste buds exploded in flavor. I don’t remember eating the rest of it. Only the sadness that followed when my plate was empty.

“You inhaled that.” Pell jested.

“And I thought the Palace chefs were talented. That was… that was… there are no words.” I could barely think. “What was in that?”

Pell opened her mouth to tell me, but I interrupted. “No, wait, don’t tell me. Because then I’ll wake up manic in the middle of the night and crave it. I’m safer not knowing.”

Pell cracked up and her laughter triggered my own. “I take it you want another one?”

I patted my already bulging stomach, weighing my options. Immediately glad I wasn’t in some skin-tight clothing or fancy dress. “Bring it on.”

I ate the next one slower. Dipping it into the variety of condiments and toppings with suggestions from Pell and several ponies passing by who also knew of the magical properties these crepes had. When my plate was empty for a second time, I sat back, finally defeated by food. I was ready for a nap, but settled for watching the festivities happening all around me. Families with their children, couples, groups of friends - the festival truly was for everyone. I was watching a couple a little too longingly. She had flowers weaved in her braided mane. While he looked handsomely rugged and disheveled. Polar opposites in appearance, and yet they shared a crepe under a tree together without a care in the world. 

Pell cleared her throat. “Don’t look so upset. You’ll get wrinkles.”

I pulled my gaze away. “Upset? Why would I be upset?”

Pell shrugged. “It’s none of my business. I thought you’d be more nervous than anything.”

“Nervous?”

“For the lantern lighting.”

“What’s that?”

Pell put her hoof against her forehead. “Good grief, did no one tell you?”

“No?”

“There’s a tradition at every Crystal Fair. At first dark, we light and release lanterns and fireworks to symbolize our perseverance through the tyranny of Sombra, and our thousand year sleep. We celebrate the magic of the Crystal Heart with a splendid light show in the sky.”

I drew in a breath. “That sounds beautiful.”

Pell smiled. “It is. And, as per tradition, the royal family must light the first pyre. Together.” She let that last word linger.

“Oh.” Guess there would be no avoiding Shining anymore. 

Pell nodded. “I guess somepony should have given you a heads up.”

“I appreciate it.” My very full stomach was suddenly feeling nauseous. “I’ll… I’ll be fine.” Was I trying to convince myself? I still had hours before sundown. Plenty of time to calm my nerves. Pell thankfully didn’t push it. I loved that about her. She calmly cleaned up our plates and gestured back towards the Fair. 

“Come along, my lady. There’s still a lot more of the Fair to see.”

I smiled gently, trying to add some lightheartedness to my voice. “No rides. I think I might hurl.” 

“How about the maypole, then? It’s just running around in circles.”

I mimed holding back vomit and Pell laughed. “Come on.” She dragged me up and we were once again walking at a breakneck pace through the crowds and back into the festivities. I did not throw up while doing the maypole. In fact, I smiled and giggled louder than most of the younger fillies. Pell and I got our faces painted. Her’s looked like an intricate spider’s web of sea-toned blues and greens. While I had vibrant swirls of glittery fairy wings around my eyes and horn. I sat patiently while a talented unicorn braided thick, sparkly ribbons through my tail and mane. The weave was so intricate, even Pell was impressed. I looked like the festival threw up on me, but I wore it with pride.

In a blink, it was sundown. I began to notice ponies preparing smaller pyre’s of wood while covering areas with sand and setting up canisters for fireworks. My nerves returned in full force and with newly added anxiety. Too soon, we were heading back towards the palace. 

Attendants had already set up a multi-level pyre of logs and kindling. My mood was solemn as I walked out onto the hill cresting the open festival grounds. Shining was already waiting for me, his back to me. I must have snuck up on him, or maybe it was the decorative paint on my face, because he jumped when I sat down beside him.

“Hi.” I offered to break the ice. I immediately noticed he was dressed up a lot more than I was. Even wearing his honorific medals pinned to his vest. Versus me, in my fancy braid and facepaint. I probably still had bits of crepe in my teeth.

“You look like you had fun.” he replied and I was shocked he finally spoke. Was he smiling? At me?

I smiled back at him. “I did have fun.” My eyes scanned over his fancy military dress. “Did you spend the whole festival in the war room?”

His eyes darkened for a split second before he chuckled. “Only one meeting, I promise I had fun too.” He brushed the right side of his vest that had rode up just a little on his side. His good mood seemed to be holding, which meant that this could be a pleasant evening after all. I would have to be careful not to tip him over.

“I imagine this fire light show is pretty impressive.” I swallowed, hoping he was feeling chatty. SItting here in silence would be the absolute worst. Actually, no, it could be a lot worse. An image of his wrathful face screaming at me blinked into my mind. Was that a memory? Or imagination?

“Oh it is.” Shining looked wistfully up as the last bits of purple twilight fell over the mountainous horizon. Leaving only the stars and the shadow of those crystal hills. His voice became softer, as he continued speaking. “I remember when Cadance and I lit the first pyre. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Second only to watching her walk down the aisle to me.”

I tried to imagine the wedding myself, but it was no longer me walking down the aisle. It was his Cadance. A stranger in my body.

In a moment, every light in the capital was extinguished. The stars looked painfully bright in contrast, and I could barely see my own hoof in front of my face. I was about to cast an illumination spell to see better when Shining’s gentle calming voice soothed my worries. 

“We turn off the lights on purpose.” He said as he took my hoof into his. “Even the Crystal Heart is quiet for this moment.”

“Now what?” I whispered back to him. Ready to be led through the motions of this breathtaking experience. 

“Follow me.” He said as we stood together and took a few steps forward in the darkness. “Can you feel it?”

We stopped as he let go of my hoof and instead placed a small dry piece of coarse string in my grasp. It must have been a wick.

“Do… I light it? Do you have your own?”

“Hmm.” He giggled. “Bring your horn to mine.” I leaned my head into his, and our horns gently tapped against each other. I felt his hoof on top of mine, guiding the wick to our horns. 

“Isn’t this a little…” I began, but allowed him to jump in and explain. 

“We have to conjure just enough energy to ignite the pyre wick, but not so much that we burn ourselves or each other.”

“It’s a trust exercise.” I said as I felt the warmth emanating from his forehead. The tiniest firefly’s worth of light lit up both of our faces.

“Yes.” He replied, patiently waiting for me to join with my own magic.

“I trust you.” I closed my eyes and called upon my magic. Thank goodness for the darkness, I couldn’t stand to look at his face if he didn’t say it back.

He didn’t say it back.

I focused on my spell, narrowing it, aiming it onto the wick and away from our vulnerable fur and manes. I thought about the Crystal Heart. Floating on its own up in the tall spire of the Crystal Castle.

The sound of a spark made me open my eyes. I watched as a small flame led down the wick. It traveled to the grass below us and down the hill we were standing on. I knew that thousands of Crystal Ponies were watching this leading light with me, even though I couldn’t see them. I heard their cheers and applause at the start of the racing wick, only to be hushed and replaced by an anticipatory silence. Our collective breaths held as the only sound was the soft hiss of the traveling flame fading away into the distance. At the end of its journey I winced and squinted my eyes. Expecting a loud explosion along with a brilliant burst of light. 

Instead, it stayed quiet. One by one I saw what looked like individual lanterns lighting up. As if a candle was being lit for every single pony in the Crystal Empire. These beacons rose into the air as hundreds more per second illuminated the sparkling faces of the Crystal Ponies gathered all around the festival grounds. Soon the sky was filled with glowing orbs, flickering in the night as if the stars had come down to kiss the earth. 

“It's beautiful.” The words escaped my lips and drifted off with the sky lights. 

“The spell is called ‘firelight.’” Shining was still leaning up against me. To the onlooking crowd we must have appeared just as enamored with each other as we were with the light show. 

“Why does it light with a physical wick?” I kept my eyes on the drifting lights. They clustered upwards and eastbound, creating what looked like a road leading straight to the heavens. 

“Because the spell isn't cast with a horn.” He pointed out to the crowd. “Every year, each pony gathers the ingredients, the spell components, that make up this low level illumination spell. You mix up the ingredients in a jar and save it for the Crystal Fair. Even children learn to make their own in school. 

“Who made mine?” I asked without thinking. 

“Cadence did.” His back stiffened. “Months ago. I set it up for you next to mine earlier today. All of them get attached to the master wick.”

“Which the Prince and Princess light together as a show of harmony.” I said, feeling like a child being told about her own culture for the first time.

“It's a celebration of the Crystal Ponies deliverance out of darkness. And it's also a memorial for the thousand years that were lost to the tyranny of Sombra.” 

“Are the firelights floating in their jars?” I didn’t have anything to say about Sombra, and didn’t want to hear more about him at this moment. Everytime I learned anything about the evil King, a pit in my stomach grew larger. I didn’t want anything to ruin this image for me.

“No.” Shining snickered at me.

I felt my face heat up. “It’s a legitimate question! Don’t be a prick.” I folded my arms in protest.

“My bad.” He was still giggling. “It’s just that you, well actually she, asked the same question back at the first festival.”

“Oh.” Was all I could think to say. At least he was willing to think of me separate from Cadance.

“Once lit, the firelights rise out of their jars and float away. Like naked souls drifting off into eternity.” He glanced at me out of the side of his eye. “To answer your question.”

“That’s very poetic of you.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome.” He turned his head away from the firelights to look at my confused face. “I got that poetic line from Cadance.”

“Well, I hope I can inspire you like that again.” I squeezed his hoof, and to my delight, he squeezed it back.

“Me too.” He said as we both watched on in silence. I didn’t mind the quiet anymore. The firelights danced away from us until the sky was a distant kite with a tail as long as the horizon. Everyone maintained a reverent silence as the far off lights faded, leaving us in contemplative darkness once more. 

“Is it over?” I asked with the sadness of a child who had run out of treats. 

“Actually there’s going to be fireworks next. I’m surprised they haven’t started yet.” Shining looked around confused, at least I think he did. It was almost impossible to make out his face anymore, much less the rest of the crowd. I looked out at the horizon. But all of the firelights had vanished from the sky. I guess they burned out or drifted too far away.

“Shining?” I asked as an uncomfortable tingling sensation drifted down my spine. Something wasn’t right.

“There was probably just some sort of delay. I’m sure the fireworks will start up any moment.” He sounded confident, but I could hear the nervous chatter of the crowd completely cast in darkness like the rest of the city.

“No, Shining.” I grabbed his shoulder to have someone to hold onto. To know he was still there in this unnatural darkness. “Weren’t there stars in the sky tonight?”

“Huh. That’s weird.” Shining’s comment was curious, yet still unconcerned. “Maybe the pegasi decided to put up a cloud layer?” He was digging for answers. His tone was unconvincing. 

I sighed. “Ok, but when? And why?”

“I-” I could feel the realization hit him. His timber dropped as he suspiciously replied, “I don’t know.”

“Cadance! My Lord!” Flash’s unexpected voice right behind me made me jump. I heard what sounded like Flash colliding with Shining.

“Ow! What the hell Flash?” 

“Sorry! I can’t see anything. I hoped you both were still here. I got here as fast as I could while feeling my way around.” I felt Flash’s hoof land on my shoulder. I touched him back and Shining did the same. The tactile reassurance was needed in the pitched darkness. 

“Obviously nopony can see, but do you know what’s going on? Where are the fireworks?” Shining asked.

“Sir, I’m afraid the situation is much worse than delayed fireworks.” Flash was quiet for a moment, catching his breath, as we both waited for him to continue. 

“The Crystal Heart won’t turn back on. There’s no power in the city.” Flash’s frantic words hit me like a flurry of blows. 

“What do you mean the Crystal Heart won’t turn on? That’s not possible!” Shining demanded as I tried to cast an illumination spell. I could feel the magic coming off of my horn, but no light was visible. 

“I don’t know, it’s just dead somehow?” Flash cried as the word “dead” tore open a hole inside me that I hadn’t realized was already there. 

“Magical darkness.” I couldn’t see the two stallions, but their silence told me they were staring in my direction. I could feel the darkness covering my body, and infecting my essence. This unnatural curse blocked out all light from without and within. It was sickening to stand in, like a humid fog as thick as smoke and clinging to me like spider webs. 

“Magical darkness?” Shining’s Armor’s voice sounded distant even though I knew he was right next to me. My senses were clouded in an unholy mist. “I think I’ve heard Twilight mention that before. It’s a very uncommon spell. You think this is an attack? I don’t sense any spells? Other than the obvious lack of sight.”

“You don’t feel it all around you?” I sat on the grassy hill wrapping my hooves around myself, letting go of them and gripping my own shoulders for comfort. “Focus on your essence. Feel the dark energy around you.”

“I’m a bit lost on this one, but I’ll take your word for it.” Flash chimed in. 

I sensed Shining’s magic as his essence activated next to me. “I think I feel it. Ugh…” I sensed him shudder. “It’s very unsettling.”

“Maybe the Crystal Heart is still working, but we just can’t see it?” I asked knowing that my question was naive. I kept trying to sense the Crystal Heart. I reached out with my essence, but nothing was there. I hadn’t realized how comforting the Crystal Heart’s constant presence was until it was gone.

“No.” Flash wasted no time confirming. “I would have heard it humming even if I couldn’t see it. It is completely dormant.”

“Dead.” I repeated.

“Our fire and illumination spells are technically working. But the city has been cursed with magical darkness. This is an attack!” Shining Armor’s voice boomed out in alert.

“Sir, keep your voice down.” Flash lowered his voice to a piercing whisper. “We don’t want to cause a panic.”

I could hear scattered conversations from the citizens below us. They questioned why the show had paused. Some of them remarked that their spells and lanterns weren’t working. They were concerned, but not alerted to an attack yet. Reality hadn’t set in. But where were the Changelings? Where was Chrysalis? Only she could create something as evil as this darkness that penetrated my being. 

“Captain, gather any soldiers you can find and prepare to mount a defense.” I heard Shining’s hoof tap the grassy hill authoritatively. “We need to find our unicorn mages, and see if we can do something about this darkness. Most of them are probably with the firelight team helping with the festival down at-” 

Shining paused, and I instantly heard what sound made him stop. It was a noise I had heard recently and too often frequently in my life. In my nightmares. A constant buzzing echoing in a distant chorus. Nearly vibrating the darkness surrounding us. The sound of Changeling wings filled the sky. Their numbers sounded massive. Their legions probably would have blotted out the stars, if they could be seen in the first place. 

“Mother of Celestia…” The dread in Shining’s voice matched what was in my heart. I heard the screams rising up from the populace. The horrifying reality of what was happening setting in on every pony, stallion, mare, and foal. 

“We have to move!” Shining commanded, and I started to get up. I felt Shining grab me by the arm. I’m not sure how he found me so easily in the dark, but I turned to face his direction, even though I couldn’t see him.

“Go to the Crystal Heart.” Shining's broken voice faltered as he spoke. He was terrified. I had seen him cool and collected in battle before, but this time he was truly shaken.

“I have to help fight.” I felt his grip tighten until it hurt my arm. “I have to-”

“Cadance.” He uttered, and I froze at the sound of my name mixed with the raw panic of his tone. “If the Crystal Heart is dead, then the city has already fallen. We cannot hope to win without it.”

Real fear gripped me. “B-but, I don't know how to-”

“Cadance.” He said nothing else, and I couldn’t see his expression. I didn’t need to. We were out of options. We had no power, no vision, no shield, no chance of victory.

No chance of survival. 

If I didn’t get to the Crystal Heart and figure something out, it would all be over before it even started. The Crystal Empire would fall to Chrysalis immediately. My thoughts briefly drifted to our allies. Where was Celestia? Where was Equestria’s support in all of this? We were left alone to defend ourselves, because Equestria’s great Princess couldn’t get off of her sunbutt and do something.

“Give ‘em hell, Shining.” I said and he let go of my arm. I could hear the grin in his voice.

“They'll get more than that from us.” Shining declared and trotted off.

“Good luck, Cadance.” Flash said before joining his Prince. The Changeling’s were so close now, I could hear their hissing. I imagined their greedy saliva drenched fangs eager to feast on the unsuspecting population whose hearts were undoubtedly overflowing with love from the ceremony. A feast for the descending masses. 




****

> Chapter 15
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mother! Mother…” I cried as I ran to her chamber. I glanced behind me to make sure he wasn’t following me. My ribs and flank throbbed with pain from where he struck me.

“Thorax?”

Mother’s kind voice asked as I rushed to her side. She had the largest personal space in the whole hive. Most of us shared a space not even a quarter of this size. Her sleeping pod was enormous. Four, maybe five of my brothers and sisters could fit in there.

“Mother, please make him stop. He won’t stop hitting me.”

I crawled over to where she was sitting and laid my head in her lap. She felt so warm and soft, I could have fallen asleep right there.

“Oh my poor Thorax. Didn’t I tell you to stand up to him? If you want him to respect you, you have to show him your courage.”

“I did, mother. He came up behind me and hit me in the leg. I turned around and told him he had to stop. That I wasn’t going to put up with him anymore. Just like you told me to, Mother. But he just got angrier and kept hitting me over and over. Everyone was staring at us, but no one would help me…”

I broke down crying. I felt my tears run into her lap. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok.”

Mother’s soothing voice said as she rubbed my back.

“Pharynx!”

Her voice turned so harsh, it scared me.

“I know you’re out there listening. Come in here right now.”

Pharynx rounded the corner into Mother’s chamber. He was probably hiding in one of the crawl tunnels that connected the hive chambers. There were so many twists and turns that I sometimes got lost.

“Tattle tale.”

Pharynx sneered at me.

“Pharynx, what have I told you about hitting your brother?”

“But he’s so weak! He’ll never be a hive leader. He probably still wets his pod.”

“I do not!” I argued back. I hadn’t done that in months. 

“Remind me, Pharynx, who decides who gets a leadership role in this hive?”

Pharynx stood silent, not answering her question.

“Is it you?”

She asked.

“No Mother.”

He said quiet enough that the hive walls nearly swallowed his words. 

“Then who decides these things?”

She demanded

“You do, Mother.”

“That’s right. Now leave us. But don’t go too far. I will deal with you in a moment.”

Pharynx growled as he left Mother’s chamber. 

“I’m sorry I’m so weak, Mother. I don’t know how to be strong.”

She sat silently for a long time as I was nervously anticipating what she might say.

“Thorax, do you know why you’re so cautious and timid?”

She asked, but I wasn’t sure what she meant.

“Because I’m a coward?”

“You’re not a coward. Pharynx is brave because he’s so single mindedly focused on what’s in front of him. He sees what must be done and acts immediately. But you…”

She picked me up and sat me on her lap instead of laying down. I looked up at her dark green eyes and long jagged horn.

“You think much farther into the future. You see the many paths ahead, not just the one. And all those paths lead to unknowns and uncertainty. And that uncertainty leads to fear. Justified fear. One day you will conquer that fear, and master the view of all those paths in front of you. Once you master your fear, all of that uncertainty will turn to wisdom. And that will be your contribution as a leader. Pharynx will conquer the path ahead, but it is you who must find the right path.”

“Ok Mother…” I said, not fully understanding. Wisdom sounded like it would be nice. I wished I had it sooner. 

“I know it’s hard to understand now, but you will someday. For now, be patient with Pharynx. He loves you very much, he just doesn’t know how to express it.”

“If you say so, Mother.”

“I do say so. Now go run along. I’ll take care of Pharynx.”



****



I galloped off towards the castle. At least I'm pretty sure I was heading to the castle. I knew what the general direction was, but I was stuck bumbling around in the dark to get there.

The attack began in earnest as I reached the main road leading up to the Crystal Castle. I heard the screams of Crystal Ponies running frantically through the streets. I heard the slashing and hissing of Changelings finding their targets. Could they see in the darkness? Was Chrysalis so terrifyingly powerful that she could cast darkness, yet shield her children from its blindness? 

Ponies ran into each other, crying, holding one another. I’d hear a slash and a scream, then silence from where there was just pain. I heard begging and pleading. 

“No please! I love her!” Someone cried out as the intrusive sound of love draining magic cursed my ears. It was the first time I had heard it in person, but I knew it couldn’t be anything else. A viscous sucking sound, like the hum of a hideous fluid machine back flowing. It was wrong. I heard cries turn into faint moans, and then passive silent acceptance. I heard curses from survivors, flailing wildly at an enemy they couldn’t see. I heard the Changelings laughing. Gorging themselves and going back for more. Reveling in the misery and defeat of the Crystal Empire. Our fine fortress city was falling without even a fight. We were submitted and beaten before given a chance to throw a single blow. I wanted to help them. I wanted to fight back. But I had to keep moving. The Crystal Heart was our only hope. Why did it fail us? Was it because of me? I was supposed to be its steward, its protector, and keeper. I didn’t know anything about it. I just let it run on autopilot and took the credit. Now my kingdom was paying the price for my complacency. 

I shrieked in pain as a gash ripped open on the left side of my flank. A Changeling had targeted me, and sunk its jagged hoof right into my cutie mark. A warm fluid dripped down my leg, as I turned in vain to find my attacker. I could hear him laughing out of my striking distance. I could shoot magic, but couldn’t hope to aim it. This Changeling wasn’t out for food, but blood. 

“I dare you to do that again!” I shouted. My knees bent, and my horn activated, ready for a fight. He laughed from above me as I heard him swoop into a dive. I gritted my teeth and braced for impact. As soon as his claws touched me, I acted before the pain could set it. In past battles, when I casted an attack spell, I held back some of my power. Afraid of what I might be capable of. What Cadence’s magic was. I didn’t want to kill or hurt anyone. No matter how vile or evil they seemed. 

I made no such reservation this time. I cried out and blasted all of the magical force I could summon into the Changeling who clung to my flank. I heard no scream in reply. Felt no counter attack. I can’t say for sure if I vaporized him into oblivion, but he seemed to be gone. I could no longer feel his essence. 

I clawed my way toward the castle, praying that my bearing was correct. Hoping that whatever magic tied me to the Crystal Heart would help guide me towards it. I tried to cling to the walls of the Crystal buildings, but my hooves would slip off of their sleek and smooth texture. I wasn’t sure how bad I was bleeding. The pain on both of my hindquarters shifted from sharp to dull pain, depending on where I put my weight as I walked. I was slightly thankful for the darkness. If I couldn’t see my wounds, my mind couldn’t dwell on how bad they might be.

I breathed a sigh of relief as my hooves found the Crystal Palace. I felt my way up the staircase to the main lobby. Once there I knew from recent memory where to find the long winding spiral staircase that led to the Crystal Heart. All of the other staircases had stops for each floor of the palace, but this one was special. It winded up like a corkscrew until it reached the chamber at the top holding the Crystal Heart. I had only climbed this staircase once, and beheld its single destination. The heart floated at the top of the spire in an open air chamber. It hovered on the power of its own magic with its simple jagged design and translucent turquoise glow. The warmth that emanated off of it was like sitting in the living room of the home you grew up in. If the comfort of family and friends could be artificially manufactured, it would look and feel like the Crystal Heart. Except it wasn’t artificial. All of that love energy was freely given and collected from the citizens of the empire. 

As I reached the first step of the long and winding staircase, my back legs collapsed. I sat in a heap on the ground, and cried out in intense pain. I felt the cuts on the sides of my hindquarters with my hooves. The gashes were worse than I thought. I tried to stand up, but my body failed me. 

Stupid Princess!

I should have done something sooner. Now, I’d lost too much blood. I was too weak to continue on. I had no training in healing magic. At least, no one had told me I did. I could try to patch myself up with magic, but I might just make it worse. An unskilled mage could cause improper clotting leading to an infection, or worse, blood poisoning. Add to it that I couldn’t see, and the idea was basically self sabotage. I gritted my teeth and flared my wings, only to have a sharp pain cinch my spine as my wings fell lifeless to drag on the floor. The Changeling hadn’t only targeted my legs, but my wings. I hadn’t thought to protect them - which was flying 101. I rubbed my face with my hoof, embarrassed and trying to think of some way to salvage my failure. My hoof ran through my mane as I felt the silky ribbons that had been braided in my hair during the festival. I wasted no time ripping them out of my mane and tail, ignoring the pain as it pulled on my scalp. It was nothing compared to what my open wounds felt like. I wrapped the ribbons around my left thigh, looping it around my back and underneath again. That side was hit harder so I gave it most of the ribbon. I had no time to wash or disinfect the wound. I would have to save that for later. Right now, I just needed something to bandage me up so I could carry on. As I tied off the mismash of ribbons, I was glad that I couldn’t see for the moment. I must have looked like a ridiculous Hearth's Warming Eve present. Or maybe something out of a horror movie with the mess that must have stained my back legs and wings. 

Standing up was still difficult, flying impossible, but I managed to get onto my hind knees. I pulled myself upwards with my front hooves, doing my best to crawl my way up the winding staircase. The air was dead in the insulated stair chamber, and the sounds of the attack outside were far away from me. The silence was disturbing, intrusive almost. I knew that many were out there suffering greater than I was. Even though it hurt me, I felt I needed to hear their cries. I was cut off from them, just as I was cut off from my memories. 

The crawling was agonizing, but I managed to find a rhythm. I wiggled my way up one step at a time. The tightness of my makeshift ribbon bandage tugged against my fur, feathers, and skin, chafing with each rotation of my hip. I could loosen it, although it may not do its job if I did. 

I lost track of how much time had passed. I started hearing the wind whipping through the open Chamber at the top. I was getting close. I couldn’t feel anything from the Crystal Heart. It should have been reverberating in my essence at this proximity, yet it was silent. Soon, the sounds of the battle returned to my ears. They were faded and far away. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy that there were still ponies to scream. Would it be better if the Changelings just got it over with? Drain every last pony quickly so that the nightmare could end. Everyone drained would eventually heal, but would the trauma last a lifetime? I knew I’d reached the last quarter turn of the stairs as I felt the cold rush of wind hit my face. Even in the summer heat, the wind chill from up here could send a shiver down your spine. 

I reached out my hoof for my next step, and felt the texture of the floor change. I had reached the top. I sprawled out on my back, my wings pretty much numb, feeling my heart beat furiously. I took in short, but deep breaths. Trying to inhale as much air as possible, yet limited by exhaustion. It felt like I had just run a marathon. As far as I was concerned I had. Frickin stairs. Just as I was rolling over to get back on my hooves, I heard a sinister voice.

“There you are, Princess. It’s about time you got here.” Her voice had a sickeningly sweet quality, like a slime cake in an infected bog. She clicked her tongue in three, short mocking ‘tsks.’ “Oh no, is something wrong with your pretty wings?”

“Chrysalis!” I forced myself to stand. The pain was shoved to the back of my mind, as my body fueled itself on hatred alone. 

“Oh ho ho!” Her amused laugh sent a creeping shiver down my spine. “How can you be so sure? It’s rather dark out tonight.”

“I know it’s you.”

“Right.” She held out her single word, relishing the sarcasm as she mocked me.

“Why are you doing this?” I stood alone out of breath, as her voice filled the entire open chamber. 

“You know the nature of Changelings. It can’t be helped. They must feed.”

“It’s more than that, and you know it.” I craned my head around in several directions, as if that would help me see in the magical darkness. Her curse. “You’re making it personal. You’re enjoying this. What did we ever do to you?”

“You dare lecture me on anything? You senseless twit. That is rich coming from the Princess who can’t even remember who she is.  ”

I tried not to be phased by her knowledge of my memory loss. I opted for peace. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be this way. Maybe we don’t have to fight.”

“You can’t be that naive.” I could hear the condescending eyebrow raise in her voice. Did she have eyebrows? “Did your memory loss remove your brain as well?”

I hated Chrysalis. Every bone, hair, and feather in my body cringed in disgust of her presence. Even if she was unredeemable, did that mean the Changelings were evil? Or were they just hungry? Thorax had a good heart. I couldn’t sense any darkness or deception in him when we met. If one of them could be good, then there must be hope for all of them. It wasn’t their fault that they were cursed. Cast out by every race and nation. Feared and shunned for being wrong and wicked. How could anyone avoid turning evil under such damnation?

“I’ve heard the legends. The stories were passed down for millennia. The Changelings and Crystal Ponies used to be friends. Why do we have to fight each other?” 

“They’re just stories.” Chrysalis hissed through gritted teeth. “They mean nothing. Invented fantasies to sooth Crystal Pony children, and help them sleep at night.” I heard the buzzing of wings as more Changelings landed in the open chamber. Great, I was even more outnumbered. 

“Where is Thorax?” I asked on a whim. 

“What?” She sounded genuinely confused by my ask.

“You’re so convinced that your own kind is inherently evil. Did you ask him how he feels? Did you ask any of your children? Or did you just lead them astray with your own selfish desires?”

“Thorax is none of your concern!” She shouted. Her calm, mocking control momentarily vanished. I managed to find the tiniest of openings in her verbal armor. 

“Sounds like he’s none of yours either. You let Pharynx abuse and bully him. Is that how you raise your own children? Especially your chosen leaders?”

“Shut up!” She demanded.

“I know both boys were born from your womb instead of an egg cluster, Thorax told me.” I could hear her seething with rage, as the growing Changeling crowd hissed along with her. “Who is their father? Does he get a say in any of this?”

“Enough! You speak of things you’re unfit to know.” She stomped her hoof, and I heard the Crystal Heart shift on its marble platform. No longer floating, it must have been laying there helpless and pathetic. Just like its ponies down below. I winced at the thought.

“Spare them. Please. Stop this. They’ve done nothing.” I begged for those who could not. 

“Nothing? If you must know.” Her conniving confidence returned. “I am, in fact, here on personal revenge.”

“Revenge?” After all the horrible things she’d done, what right did she have to feel wronged?

“Yes, revenge.” She said it with such venom on her lips. “Against you. Against Shining Armor, the Crystal Empire, and all of Equestria for what they did to me!”

“What did they do to you?” I knew her attack on Canterlot was repulsed during my wedding. But I couldn’t imagine what Equestria or the Crystal Empire could have done to slight her personally. And what about Shining Armor? Me?

“Nevermind.” She sighed. “It would take too long to explain, and you likely wouldn’t believe it anyway.”

I braved my next words. “I’m more open to the truth than you may think.”

She cackled long and loud. “Well, why don’t we just see about that. Let’s find out just how much truth you’re able to handle. Changelings!” She called to them and they hissed with glee. “Bring him here. Drop him right next to her so she knows it’s him.”

My stomach turned as the sound of a few Changelings approached me. I heard a dull thud, and felt a warm body smack into my hooves. I knelt down, feeling the pain in my hindquarters again, and ran my hoof through this poor pony’s mane. I felt his horn, fizzled and smoldering from firing countless attack spells. I felt his well toned chest and deltoid muscles. I felt the fine fabric of his military dress uniform, torn up into shreds. I smelled his breath as he struggled to breathe with loose tufts of his hair sucked into his mouth. I heard his dull moans. He was physically injured, but also…

“Shining!” I let my voice crack as I pulled the hair out of his mouth. Trying to soothe any discomfort, no matter how small. 

“Cadance.” His bored and distant voice replied flatly. It reminded me of Harvest. The first Changeling victim I encountered. 

“No.” I said barely above a whisper. “You didn’t!” I cradled his head as his limp neck made no attempt to steady himself. 

“Didn’t what? Suck him dry?” I could hear the twisted grin in her tone. I wanted to smack it off of her smug face. “Of course we did. I heard his love magic was particularly delicious.”

“You’re a monster!” I snapped.

“Tell her how you really feel, Shining.” Chrysalis relished every word coming out of her mouth. 

“I don’t love you.” Shining spoke, and the words plunged into my heart like twin daggers, but I took it in stride.

“I know, I know.” I shook my head, flinging tears that I couldn’t hold back. “She’s drained the love magic out of you. You’re not capable of feeling love, but we’ll-”

Shining interrupted me, and it stung more than any other time I had been talked over.

“No. Before that happened...” My eyes widened as my breath failed to enter my lungs. “I never loved you. I loved Cadance. The real Cadance. I don’t know you.”

Chrysalis laughed so hard, she had to catch her breath several times just to keep going. I sat there, holding the broken and defeated body of the stallion I loved, wishing that I had never woken up from my coma. My heart wasn’t stabbed, it was torn asunder. 

“Oh no, what a rejection.” Chrysalis mocked my pain, but I was beyond feeling anything else. I couldn’t even summon anger, I was just numb. “It’s like when the popular colt in school doesn’t want to date you, and lets everypony know that he turned you down. How embarrassing!” 

I couldn’t see. I couldn’t feel. The magical darkness grew tighter around my essence as if I might suffocate. 

“How does it feel, fraud?” Chrysalis continued. “You’ve been pretending to be a Princess ever since you woke up. Now your own husband doesn’t love you. Your Kingdom is in shambles, and it’s all your fault. How does it feel? What is this pain like? Can you even fathom a fraction of what I’ve felt? What you and everypony else did to me?”

“I give up.” I said, and it actually gave the Changeling Queen some pause.

“You give up?” Her amusement shifted to curiosity. 

“I surrender. You win.” I set Shining’s head down on the crystal floor gently. “If everything is my fault then punish me. Take me prisoner, execute me, do whatever you want with me. I don’t care anymore.” 

Everything Chrysalis said about me was true. I had suspected it myself all along. I was a fraud, and my deception punished everyone around me. Would anyone even miss me now? Maybe Pell, but I had let the Crystal Heart fail. I allowed the entire Kingdom to collapse, could she even look me in the eye anymore?

“Interesting.” Chrysalis considered my words for a moment. “You would give yourself up so easily? Not that you have much of a choice.” She giggled. 

“Please.” I knelt down before her. “I have nothing left to give. Nothing left to lose. Please, I’ll do anything you want, just spare the Crystal Empire. I beg you.” I prostrated myself with my forehead on the ground between my front hooves. My horn scraping the crystal floor. I wasn’t a Princess anymore. It meant nothing to me to do this. But I did it anyway because Chrysalis defeated me as a person. Body and soul. I was broken. 

“Fine.” Chrysalis said curt.

“Fine?” My head snapped up. Now I was confused.

“You think it can’t get any worse? Are you so broken and defeated? Like all is lost? Well, let’s test that theory.” She moved while she talked, her voice right in front of my face. “I think it can get much worse than you can possibly imagine. And you don’t even need my help.”

“What do you want?” I begged again.

I heard a wicked smile in her voice. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Is there an echo in here?” She jested. “How about a… oh what word to use… what do you call it? Oh, a truce?”

If I wasn’t already laying down, I would have fallen over. “Why? Why now, after all of this?” 

“Because…” She spewed her words in my face, as I smelled her hideous breath. “I can’t think of anything more punishing than to leave you here to clean up your mess.”

She was right. I wanted to be taken away from here. I had played my hand too openly. I didn’t want to face anyone at the Capital after tonight. Especially not Shining Armor. 

“Goodbye, Princess.” She backed away from me. “There won’t be anymore Changeling attacks, you have my word.” I didn’t think her word was worth much, but I didn’t have a choice in the matter. “And when everything truly falls apart. I will return to pick up the pieces of this broken kingdom.”

“Wait!” I yelled.

“Changelings!” She called to her children. “We’re done here. Head home.” I heard their collective hissing and their wings buzzing as they took off from the open chamber. In a moment, Shining and I were alone. But, really, I was all by myself. With the immediate danger gone, I crawled over to him again.

“Shining.” I called weakly. I could feel the tears pouring down my cheeks. “I know you can’t understand me right now. But, I’m in love with you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I’m sorry I was so difficult. I never meant to hurt you. I-”

His comically loud snore stole away the frantic ramblings of my own heart. Whether from his injuries or draining of his love magic, he’d fallen asleep. It put the final nail in my coffin. Queen Chrysalis had executed her revenge with tactical precision. Even when I thought my own love confession might somehow heal him. Heal us. No, I couldn’t even have that. 

I tried not to be angry at him. My rational brain knew what had happened. He wasn’t himself. But my emotional side made me want to smack him awake just so he’d hear me now. 

I wanted to rage, scream, roar my frustrations. My failings. But I found I had nothing else to give. Even my own love felt weakened. I wanted to run away and live a life of solitude and regret. But I was cursed with a recognizable face. It would never be over. I could never run from this life.

In a last ditch effort, I fumbled around in the dark, finding my way to the marble platform that held the Crystal Heart. My hoof ran over the heart’s smooth cold surface, and jagged edges. It was completely inert, and void of magic. I reached out with my essence, trying to make some sort of connection. There was nothing. I was talking to myself. Praying to a god who wasn’t there. I picked up the heart and clutched it to my chest. It fit comfortably in my bosom, like a firm crystal pillow. 

“Please.” I said aloud to no one. “Please, I can’t do this alone. I need you. We need you. There’s so much suffering, and I’m helpless to stop it. Please, I'll do anything.” I’d gone from surrendering and begging to my mortal enemy to now begging inanimate objects. It might have been funny if every part of my body and essence didn’t hurt. I felt my mind slipping from consciousness as the exhaustion set in. I no longer had the will to fight. To move. To live. I would have been happy to close my eyes right then, and never open them again.

My eyes flung open as a blinding light filled my vision.

“Ahhh!” I cried out, shielding my face from the sudden burst of light. Had my unspoken wish come true? Had I truly died? Was I going to start all over again? Waking up in a room that, maybe, I’d remember this time? Unfortunately, I could still remember everything that had happened since I first woke up in an unfamiliar body.

And nothing before.



****

> Chapter 16
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn’t in my bedroom, and I wasn’t in the Crystal Heart chamber at the top of the palace either. The room was spinning in sparkling light. If you could even call it a room at all. I couldn’t tell what was ground or wall or sky. It was like standing in a kaleidoscope while someone constantly spun the cylinder. I saw turquoise, and blue, and green, and teal. All of it glistening and forming around me in a beautiful array. My eyes were used to the magical darkness. This was an assault of colors and sparkles. It was making me dizzy.

“Please let me off.” I said to this fever dream I was having. “It’s too much.” I tucked my head into my hoof, and rubbed the side of my face.

“Sorry, sorry.” Someone responded so I braved blindness and looked up again. No one was there. There was nothing but a white void. Albeit, more subdued. I blinked my eyes multiple times, but they were adjusting quickly. 

 “It’s always too intense the first time. I sometimes forget. Wasn’t it beautiful though?” The voice spoke again.

“What?” I spoke into the void. No one was here. Here was nowhere, yet I could distinctly hear a voice. Had I gone insane?

“Never mind.” The voice dismissed me, sounding disappointed. “Would you prefer to be somewhere more comfortable? Like your room?”

“I don’t want to be in my room.” I stared at my own hooves in disbelief. None of this made sense. “I don’t want to be anywhere.”

“White void it is then.” 

“Who are you?”

“Who am I?” The disembodied voice countered with incredulity. “You called for me!” He declared as if that was obvious. “I should be asking who you are? In fact, I think I will. Who are you?”

“I-” I was at a loss. “I don’t know.”

“Hmmm, yes, I can see that?”

“Where am I?” I looked around the void. It was intense on the eyes, not having any point to focus on. 

“Now that is a much better question. Although I think it can be even better. Instead of ‘Where are you?’ what about ‘Where is this?’”

“Where is…” I started to repeat, when it hit me. “Are you the Crystal Heart?”

The room grew brighter with a burst of color that I could only imagine was in celebration of my correct answer. “The one and only.” He said. At least I think it was “he”. He didn’t have a physical body that I could see. But the voice was soothingly masculine, with a bit of humor. 

“Are you… are you alive? Like a real living being?”

“Oh yeah, just assume that the magical love artifact is an unthinking soulless power plant. It’s cool. I’m not offended or anything.”

I sucked in a breath of surprise. “I-I’m sorry?”

“Think about it.” He said, deciding to answer my question for once. “How could an object both harness and magnify love unless it was capable of love itself?”

“Love magic is essence manipulation which requires an essence to be present.” I rattled off like I was reading a textbook or somehow channeling Twilight.

“It’s so obvious when you actually think about it.” He declared gleefully.

“It just never crossed my mind.” I rubbed my eyes, still adjusting to the light. I had been blind for so long, in more ways than one. “Wait a minute. If you can see what’s going on, why did you turn off? Why didn’t you help us?”

“You know. I think I will change the room. This constant whiteness is a bit drab.”

“Don’t dodge the question!’ I demanded.

“I’d never dream of it.” In the blink of an eye, I was standing in my bedroom.

“I said I didn’t want to be in my room.” I looked around at my Crystal desk, my vanity table, and my immaculate bed. It looked like Pell had just cleaned up and made the bed. It hurt to see it again. Like it was a life I didn’t deserve. 

“Yes, indeed. However, sometimes we don’t get to choose our situation. That goes for Crystal Hearts as well.”

“Please.” I begged softly. “I can’t look at this place.”

With a small pop of light, the room stayed the same. But suddenly every surface, every piece of furniture and throw pillow was a vibrant shade of cheery, bubblegum pink and wholesome, baby blue. 

“That better?”

Somehow it was. So I nodded. I looked around my room, expecting him to appear from my closet or something. 

“Are you looking for me?” His amused voice was as annoying as Chrysalis’s was. At least he was playful instead of malicious. 

“Do you have a form, or some sort of body here in… uh… your mind?” I had no knowledge of how sentient artifacts worked. 

“Do you want me to have a form?” He asked as if I was picking out an ice cream flavor.

“I just wasn’t sure if you already had one.”

“How about this?”

My head snapped to the right as Pell appeared beside me. Standing in my room like she so often did.

“Pell?” I asked, feeling my face turn red. I was too embarrassed to face her. 

“Well, no.” Pell’s facial features moved in a way she never would, as the Crystal Heart’s male voice came out of her mouth. “But you clearly desire a face to speak to, and I figured a familiar one would be more comforting.” Pell’s face smiled at me with an extra twinge in her upturned cheek. The Crystal Heart spoke with more exaggerated expressions than the subtle and muted way Pell normally looked. However, they were both equally sarcastic. I blinked a few times to make sure my eyes were working properly. It was surreal to see Pell like this.

“Thank you for not appearing as Shining Armor.” I didn’t think I could take it at the moment.

“Yes, things do seem to be awkward in that regard.” He shook his head like my love life was a curious puzzle he wanted to solve. I decided to rapidly change the subject.

“Why did you abandon us?” I blurted out. 

“I didn’t abandon you.” His words and expression were uncharacteristically sincere. “My power vanished.”

“How can so much power vanish so quickly? So easily?” I glanced down at my own body. I was no longer bleeding or wearing ribbons as a bandage, but scars on both of my cutie marks remained and my wings were missing feathers. My eyes lingered on the slashes cutting through the image of the Crystal Heart on my body. 

As if reading my mind, he answered. “It’s a matter of quality, not quantity.”

“Quality?” My mind raced at the implication. “Is it because of me? Am I not good enough?” I stared at my defaced cutie mark. The wound no longer hurt physically, yet I still felt it intensely. 

“You’re always first to indict yourself. Why is that?” The heart had more questions for me than answers. 

“Because, I think what you're saying is that the Crystal Heart… you… require a genuine connection from a worthy steward. And I’m afraid that I’ve fallen short.”

“Hmmm.” He considered my words as his eyes drifted down to my flank. I might have blushed if it wasn’t the image of Pell, and the voice of what I assumed was some sort of demi god or celestial being. “You keep looking at your cutie mark. Why is that?”

“Are you going to answer any of my questions, or are we just going to trade back and forth?” His game was wearing thin on my patience. 

“Oh, I have no answers.” His smile got wider as my face contorted with frustration and confusion. “Everything that happens from here forward is up to you.” I wanted to challenge him, to look him in the eye, but my neck craned as my gaze cowardly fixated on my side. 

“Is this my real body, or am I a projection like you?” 

“Ooh, now we’re getting somewhere.” He took a step forward. “What makes you ask that?”

“My wound seems to be healed, and I don’t feel any pain. Yet the scar remains.” 

“Well of course it did. You chose to keep it there.” He pointed at my cutie mark, and my mind flooded with anger.

“What do you mean ‘I chose?’ I didn’t choose any of this.” I waved all around my quiet bedroom. 

“I appear before you in a form that I assume you want to see.” His voice explained very calm, and patiently. Much like Pell would have done. “In the same way, you appear before me in the way that you see yourself.”

“You’re saying that I’m rejecting myself?” I finally turned to look at him. “And in doing so, I’m rejecting the Crystal Heart.”

“Now you’re getting to the heart of the issue.” His eyebrow rose with his grin.

My eyes instinctively rolled. “If I were a crowd, I’d boo you.”

“Hahahaha!” He giggled with glee. “So spicy. Perhaps we’re due for a spicy Princess. We’ve had so many tender ones lately.” He flicked his hoof to the side. My mind thought of Twilight before I could stop it. I suppressed my own laugh. He noticed.

“Who are you thinking of? Anyone I know?” He dropped his voice and raised his eyebrow, much like Pell would have when telling a dirty joke.

“So it’s not that I’m not good enough, or unworthy.” I steered us back on track. Gossiping with a magical artifact was a step too far on the weird scale for me. “You’re saying I’m getting in my own way.”

“It was never a matter of competence.” He sighed. Did he need to take breaths? Or was he just mimicking bodily functions? “The qualification to connect with me, has always been a matter of heart.” He tapped on my chest with Pell’s hoof. I reeled momentarily at the sudden touch. “It’s right there in my name, for goodness sake.”

“You mean I just have to believe hard enough?” I scoffed. “Like some sort of poorly written children’s fantasy?”

His voice dropped to a low hum. “I thought you were a fan of children's stories.”

“The Changelings.” My cheeks flushed.

“What about the Changelings?” 

“Are the stories true? Did they used to be good?”

I knew he was going to ask before he even said it. “What do you think?”

“I think they were cursed through no fault of their own. I think they can be good again.” I thought of Thorax just wanting to see his brother returned safely. He knew he would be punished. He knew it meant failure, and a loss of his standing. Yet he did it anyway. Not out of greed, hunger, or selfish interest. Just pure love for his brother.

“Then they were good.” He nodded. 

“Is it that simple?” 

“It should be.” He shook his head. “But folks like to complicate things.”

“Well then, how do you solve the problem of the curse? The need to feed?”

He threw his hooves up in surrender. “Like I said, I have no answers.”

“Where do we go from here? What can I do?”

He paused for a few moments. Eying me, and considering his own options. 

“I’m at a bit of an impasse.” He admitted. “I’m going to be blunt with you, since you seem to like that sort of thing.” He waited to see if I would react, but I let him continue. 

“What happened to Cadance was tragic, and you seem…” His eyes darted as he tried to find the right word. “...Nice.” He settled on. “However, I cannot operate with a conductor who refuses to be a conduit.”

“Wait, is this a train metaphor or an electric circuit metaphor?” I tilted my head to the side. 

“Yes.” His sideways grin infuriated me. 

“Ok.” I wrinkled my brow thoroughly confused. 

“The point is, I cannot go forward if your doubts are going to poison the well.”

“But I want to help! I’ll do anything, please let me help.” I reached out to grab his shoulder, but he disappeared. Only for me to hear his voice behind me.

“I have no doubt of your will.” He was sprawled out on my bed. Pell would have lost her mind over the wrinkles he was making in her perfect tuck. That is if this room was real. “In fact, I pity anyone who dares match up against your will.”

“Then I accept the challenge!” I slapped my hoof down on the bed, causing it to jiggle. “Let me help. Let me do my job.” 

“But I don’t accept.” He sat up on the bed and folded his arms. Looking like an incredulous child. 

“Why?” I demanded.

“You’re so wishy washy.” He shook his head. “One moment you’re all gung ho, and the next you shrivel up.” His gazed pierced me, showing he could be quite serious when he wanted to be.

“I- I just don’t want to mess it up.” I admitted. “I only have a few weeks of memories in my head. I don’t remember anything.”

“Boring!”

I reeled back. He kept speaking. “Everytime you doubt yourself, you doubt me. You doubt the resolve of everyone under your charge.” 

He rolled off the bed and lept over to the desk. He pulled out my vanity seat, and plopped himself down with his hind hooves up on the counter. He leaned back with his hooves beyond his head, putting the chair on two legs with undo pressure on its small frame. I would have yelled at him if it was really my room. 

“Fine. Yes, it’s a boring answer. I can try. I’ve been trying. But what happens when I mess up? When I don’t know what I’m doing or what to do?” I watched as his hooves stretched kicking all my bottles and hair brushes off of the counter. I felt my eye twitch.

“When you doubt yourself, believe in me.” He waved his hoof and the room disappeared. We were back in the open chamber at the top of the castle spire. “When you don’t know something, defer to someone else’s knowledge.” The magical darkness had lifted, and the Crystal Heart lay on the ground behind the image of Pell in front of me. 

“When you don't know what to do, follow your heart and do what feels best.” Shining lay on the ground next to me. There was no sign of the Changelings. Was this reality, or still an image?

“And when, inevitably, you mess something up. Take responsibility and fix it with the help of everyone around you. You’re not in this alone, Princess. You never were.” He looked back at the heart on the floor. Looking at himself I suppose. 

“I can’t even imagine that kind of resolve.” I hung my head. “Especially when the stakes are so high.”

“Ridiculous!” He shouted in such a high pitch, it could have been Pell. “You see that sort of resolve every single day.”

“The Crystal Ponies.” I was starting to understand where he was coming from. The Crystal Ponies lived every day fearlessly, and full of conviction. Some of them had no power or magic, yet they believed. That’s why they could bow to me so reverently, yet I felt like I was the inferior one. 

“If you want to save the Crystal Ponies…” He began, and I finished. “Be more like the Crystal Ponies.” 

I thought of all of them down below. How many had been drained? How many had been killed or injured in the fighting and confusion? Were they as terrified as I was? Or were they looking up to the castle, waiting for their Princess to fix the Crystal Heart. Confidently waiting for everything to be returned to normal. My thoughts shifted to the Changelings. Lost, alone, hungry, and being misled by a mad mare leading them to destruction. 

“What if I want to save the Changelings too? Is it even possible?” I asked, worrying he would rebut me. Instead he smiled with the same warmth and kindness that Pell, and many others had shown me. 

“Do you think it’s possible?” He turned the question onto me yet again. 

I closed my eyes, but I no longer saw my nightmares. I saw what Pell had described in those children’s stories. The Crystal Ponies and the Changelings living together. Getting along, and loving one another. It was a naive dream that only a child could believe in.

“I do think it’s possible. I want to help them. I know there is good in them. I can feel it.” I opened my eyes, but the image of Pell was gone. Instead the Crystal Heart was floating in its place once more. Its glow was dim, but it was glowing nonetheless. 

“Wait.” I looked down at my side. The ribbon bandage was there, covering my dried blood, and partially cutting off my circulation. Had he already left me? It was dark outside, but I could see. I activated an illumination spell, and it made the whole chamber glow. 

“When did you…?” I began, but his voice filled my ears again.

“Alright. I’ve made up my mind.” The floating heart twinkled with each syllable. 

“I thought you said it was up to me?” I grinned, finally letting myself smile.

“It is.” He said confidently. “I convinced you to convince me. And you did a good job. I’m proud of myself.” His incessant giggling filled the room and sky. 

“Can you heal them?” My eyes drifted to the barely conscious Shining Armor. 

“Yes we can.” It felt like his arm was reaching out to me, even though he was a glowing Crystal Heart again. 

“How do I…”

“Leave that to me.” he reassured me. “Just open your heart, reach out to me with your essence.”

I did what he said. I allowed my essence to flow into the Crystal Heart, connecting us through a magical flow. It was the first time that I had truly connected with it, with him, since I’d woken up. I tried to leash it to me. Grabbing on with a panicked grip as if afraid I’d lose it.

“Stop trying to control it!” He chastised. “Just let it all pass over you. Let your energy echo with mine. With everyone’s.” 

I pulled back, loosening my reins. “I’m the conductor, but I’m also just the conduit at the same time.” I indulged his line of thinking.

“Now you’re getting it.”

I relaxed as I felt the love magic pass in and out of my essence. It was calming, fulfilling. I felt more enriched and fed than ever before. No amount of crepes or waffle towers could fill me up like this feeling. 

I chuckled to myself. “I can just hear the university scholars losing their minds over this ridiculously mixed metaphor.” I shook my head, as the love and hope of every mare, stallion, and foal flooded into me. 

“Yeah, well how many Crystal Hearts do they deal with on a daily basis?” He laughed back with me. I think the laughter was part of the medicine. That must be why he was so eccentric. 

“If they knew you could talk, they would never leave you alone. They’d spend eternity picking your brain and studying you.”

“And now you know why I stay quiet most of the time.”

“Fair enough. I promise to keep your secret.” I breathed a long overdue sigh of relief.

“And I’ll keep yours as well.”

I am enough. I told myself. I am good enough. I can do this. I am not alone. 

“Brace yourself.” He warned me. “This part is going to be a little intense, but you must trust me.”

“I trust you.” It was the second time I had said that tonight, and I’d meant it both times. I felt my body heat up, and my eyes opened instinctively. I was floating just like the Crystal Heart. There was a glowing tether connecting us, and countless strings of tethers heading out of the open chamber, down to the streets below. 

“Wh-what’s happening?” It was surreal being surrounded by such powerful magic, yet not casting it. I was just allowing it through me.

“I thought you trusted me?” He sneered.

“I do!” I pouted. “I just wanna know what’s going on, that’s all.” I would have crossed my hooves, but it felt out of place. Instead I opened my arms and embraced the flow of energy inside of me. 

“We’re about to heal everyone who was drained by the Changeling’s love magic.” 

I glanced over my shoulder to see the tether connecting me to Shining Armor. His eyes were open, glazed, but focused on me and the Crystal Heart. He looked stunned, yet showed no emotion on his face. All emotion had been taken from him.

“Love stealing magic.” I corrected the Crystal Heart.

“If you say so.”

I was about to question what he meant by that, when a radiant beam of magic burst from my chest.

“Ahhh!” I cried out, caught off guard. It was hot, but not burning. It pierced out of me, but there was no pain. 

I couldn’t see what was happening down below. My only frame of reference was Shining Armor. Who was blessedly awake. I watched as the color returned to his face. I watched his eyes reclaim their gleam. He managed to get to his knees and stand up, as his blank stunned face filled with concern. He looked afraid of what was happening to me, yet also full of wonder and amazement.

“Cadance?” He questioned. It was both comforting, and hurtful to hear his voice again. 

“It’s alright, Shining.” I saw my own glowing white eyes reflected in his irises. “Everything’s going to be ok. I promise.”

“I believe you.” He nodded. I let the magic feel its way through the city. I went on the journey with it, healing and touching hearts and minds. Each revived pony left my own heart feeling more whole. 

What could have been seconds or minutes passed, and we were back in the tower with the spell on its last breaths. 

“That felt… really good.” I told the heart. It gave a little pulse of light in response. I descended back to the marble platform of the Crystal Heart. The spell was finished, and the heart calmly floated over me. Still humming with its comforting glow like it always had. 

“Well done, Cadance.” The heart spoke to me, but Shining didn’t seem to hear it. “If that’s what you want to be called.”

“I’m not sure.” I said aloud. 

“Not sure of what?” Shining asked as he knelt over me, taking my hoof into his. 

“Hmmm.” The Crystal Heart pondered to me alone. “I suppose we’ll deal with that later.” And then, he was gone. Not completely, but his presence quietly left my mind. I was glad, because I was suddenly staring at a very concerned stallion.

“Cadance, you’re hurt!” I felt Shining caress the wound over my left cutie mark. “Who did these bandages?” He complained.

“Shut up.” I replied as my vision blurred. I felt like I wanted to go to sleep for another week long coma. 

“Oh, I see. My bad.” He awkwardly bit his bottom lip. “Well, don’t worry. We’ll get you fixed up properly.” He cradled my head with his hoof, ready to pick me up.

“Shining.” I said as my breathing grew heavier. “I’m sorry.”

“What do you-” He began, but I interrupted.

“I’m sorry that I tried to replace her.” I could feel tears welling up again, and I fought hard to suppress them. Unfortunately my strength was all but sapped. “I promise I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll let you grieve her. I just want…” 

“I heard you, you know that right?” He whispered. I could only blink up at him, fighting to remain conscious. 

“Do you…?” I couldn’t finish the thought. I couldn’t ask him if he felt the same way about me. My vision darkened around the edge of my eyesight. 

“I just want you to be happy.” Was the last thing I said before the exhaustion overcame me.





****

> Chapter 17
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes struggled to open despite the sunlight streaming through the window and curtains. The weight of my eyelids refused to budge and allow me to start my day. I had no choice but to roll myself out of bed with eyes half closed and a stiff, sore back. In fact, my whole body was sore. I felt like every muscle had been wrung out like a rag. The attack last night was still fresh in my mind, tormenting me like the Changeling hoard tormented my city. My citizens. At least I had the luxury of waking up in my same bedroom with my same life and normalcy. We had all been given a second lease on life. We had successfully lived to fight another day. 

I meandered over to my vanity mirror and nearly shrieked at the reflection. I was used to bedhead, but my normally luxurious blue mane looked like a rat crawled on my head, made a nest, and died. I sighed as I got to work brushing it out. Maybe I needed a haircut. I’d always loved my long hair since high school. It was a miracle that I was allowed to grow it out while I was in the military. One of the privileges of rising up the ranks to officer so fast and young, my hair length was scrutinized less than a freshly enlisted pony. Although, I was basically a kid when I got my first command. I thought I was so grown up at the time, and maybe I was, but my lofty thoughts and ambitions back then seemed so naive to me now. 

I just want you to be happy, Cadance told me last night. She had always been in my life. At least it felt that way. From babysitting my little sister, to attending school together, to dating, to getting married - my whole life she had been half of my whole being. I knew she was the one pony I would spend the rest of my life with. 

I don’t love you. I had really said that to her. What an awful thing to say. I couldn’t stop myself. It was like I had no mental filter. The only thing my lips could spill was terrible, hateful nonsense. Having my love and emotions magically drained from me was a hideous experience. It was like I was numb to my whole body. My essence. If it was possible for a pony to be a completely blank, emotionless being, that’s what it felt like. In that state I was asked a question, and I just answered it. No hesitation. No stakes. No caring. No feeling. 

“I don’t love you,” wasn’t wrong, exactly, but it wasn’t correct either. I wished I could have worded it a better way. But without any love in my heart, I had been a puppet of mindless simplicity. It’s true, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Cadance. New Cadance. The Cadance that lived in the castle with me. She was the same mare I married, but also not. I loved her, but I didn’t love her. Thinking about it made my head hurt. I was used to making split-second decisions, my military career was proof of that. One of the drawbacks of being a meathead jock my whole life. Sure, I was into fantasy role playing and tabletop games, but that just made me a geek, not smart. I had the dumbness of a gym rat lunkhead, and the anti-social awkwardness of being a complete dork. A dork who just had the nerve to tell the hottest mare in school that he didn’t love her.

But I’d heard her love confession to me. My mind was still processing it. Great Celestia knows I couldn’t process it while drained within an inch from death.

I gripped the brush in frustration. My mane wasn’t cooperating this morning, and I didn’t feel like turning it to plastic with gel, or greasing it up with pomade. Screw it. It looked passable enough, so I decided to live with it, as a knock rapped on my bedroom door. 

“Come in.” I called, still sneering at my stupid hair. Technically it was all laying flat, but it wouldn’t part right, and it wouldn’t hang loose without a part very well. The part looked way too dorky anyway, so I decided the shaggy look was the lesser of two evils. The door swung open, and I saw Jadiz peer inside through the mirror’s reflection. His mane was perfectly parted, and it looked good too. Must be nice.

“My lord,” His voice was calm and soothing. “I have your itinerary and notes for the day. Shall I make some changes to accommodate the more damaged areas of need, or should we just play it by ear, sir?” I turned to face him, as he stood by the open door with exquisite posture. His silver crystal body was covered up on his top half by a black vest over a white button down shirt. He wore a jade colored bowtie that matched his greased over, and parted mane. I guess some colts could pull it off better than others. 

“We’re for sure gonna play it by ear, Jadiz.” He held his position like a statue of a sentry. “Unless something is literally on fire, I think everypony is in equal need of some TLC.” Especially me. I didn’t have a wife to wake up next to anymore, which was almost entirely my fault. I needed comfort, but the kingdom came first.

“Very good, my lord.” His stiff, almost robotic head nod accented the stillness of his posture. He was a very tall stallion, more than most including myself. Although I probably had a decent amount of size on him in bulk. 

“You know, you don’t have to knock every morning.” I yawned and forced myself to stand up on all fours. “If my light is on, you can just walk in.”

“Thank you, sir.” He cleared his throat, covering his mouth with his free hoof. The other was holding the dossier of notes he had mentioned. “However, it feels polite to at least give you some notice. For your privacy.” He pronounced “privacy” in a way that rhymed with “chivalry.”

“If I ever need ‘prih-vuh-sea.’” I played a bit with his accent. “I’ll be sure to put a necktie on the door handle.” I winked at him. It was my personal game to try and get Jadiz to blush any chance I got. Unfortunately, he was very accustomed to my antics.

“Indeed.” He raised his left eyebrow back at me. “However, with the Princess currently occupying a separate room, I suppose that would be a solo affair.”

If anypony else had made that comment I would have snapped at them. It was a low blow. Last night was still stinging in my memory, and almost any mention of her hurt at this point. However, Jadiz and I went way back. He had been my personal servant ever since I had lived in the Crystal Empire. I didn’t think of him as a servant anymore. He was a friend. My right hoof colt. Also, he didn’t know about what transpired in the Crystal Heart chamber high above us in the castle spire last night. Nopony knew except myself and Cadance.

And Chrysalis.

Was the threat really over? Cadance had brokered a truce with her, but how could we trust that for even a moment. There was nothing forcing Chrysalis to keep up her end of the bargain. Just thinking about her boiled anger up into my chest.

I decided to lighten the mood for myself. “Well, it wouldn’t have to be solo if you joined me one of these nights.” I laughed out loud. I need a good laugh today.

“I’m afraid I don’t swing that way, my lord.” He shook his head with the tiniest of movement. As if it was just a darn shame.

“You’re telling me you don’t swing with colts?” I had met his husband many times. At this point, I was trying to poke at Jadiz’s buttons. Bring some sense of normalcy to the day ahead.

I walked over to him, finally feeling awake. He handed me the dossier, and I tucked it under my shoulder. 

His rebuttal was ironclad. “With spoiled brats, sir. I don’t find them very attractive.” 

“Oh yeah.” I racked my brain for a witty comeback. “Well your accent makes you sound like a… pretty girl.” I needed to work on my one liners. 

“Thank you, sir.” His smile beamed in my direction.

“Alright, you win.” I marched past him into the hallway. Normally it would be quiet this early, but the castle staff wasted no time preparing for the salvage operation of our own city. Great Celestia knew how much carnage was in the damage report in my dossier.

“Don’t I always, my lord?” Jadiz followed close behind me as we headed to get some breakfast. It wasn’t until food crossed my mind that I realized how hungry I truly was. My body needed the calories I had drained yesterday.

Flash Sentry was already halfway through his breakfast when Jadiz and I entered the dining room. This was also the room where we voted to hold the Crystal Fair. Was it the right decision? I could claim “I told you so,” but what would that solve now? The attack was devastating, but Cadance also unlocked and reaffirmed her connection to the Crystal Heart. So was it a net positive? Or is that too callous of a way to think of it? I was happy that I never attempted to study philosophy. 

“Hey Flash.” 

He looked up startled, abruptly torn from his eating ritual. He glanced over at me, a bit taken aback by my casual nature. Protocol and etiquette was great and all. I like to think I follow it more than new Cadance does. However, after the attack, it all just seemed unnecessary. Less than twelve hours ago, ponies were running scared and screaming in the streets. It put my everyday life into perspective. Who cares if somepony’s bowtie was done wrong, or a soldier didn’t salute perfectly, or if a Prince shared a meal with subordinates and servants. I’m sure I would feel differently once the shock wore off, but for now I needed the comfort of informality. 

I needed friends, not staff.

“Hello… my lord.” The pensiveness in Flash’s voice was palpable. 

“Please, call me Shining.” Flash looked at me like I just grew three heads. 

“Really?” His confusion continued to distract him from his meal. 

“At least for today.” I sat down in my seat, leaning back a little too leisurely for a Prince on duty. “I’m having a bit of a rough one. I imagine we all are.”

Flash finally ate the bite that was suspended on his fork. He nodded and chewed in silence. 

“My lord,” Jadiz said, still standing next to me. “While the two of you dine, I believe I shall go and…”

“Have you eaten yet?” I interrupted him, closing my eyes and letting my head rest against the backrest of the chair. 

“I have not,” Jadiz began cautiously. “However, I’m sure I will find time to…”

“Have a seat, Jadiz.” I patted the chair next to me, and he sighed.

“Sir, I understand how you feel, but it is highly irregular, while on duty, for a servant to…”

“Cadance held a whole breakfast banquet with the entire kitchen staff, and nopony batted an eye.” I interrupted him again. Cadance would have reamed me for trying to talk over her like that. I hoped she was doing alright. They took her to the medical center last night, but she insisted on recovering in her own room under Pell’s care. 

“But if I want to have one meal with two of my friends, NooOOoo…” I exaggerated my “no,” a bit too much. 

Both stallions blinked, not sure what to do or say next.

“I’m sorry.” I leaned forward to rest my chin on the table. I was acting about as unregal as possible. Not on purpose, but I couldn’t do the routine today. I was drained. My love, my emotions, my physical being, all of me had been taken to my limit. 

“I just… I don’t know… I…”

The words wouldn’t come out. I wasn’t sure if I had them in me at all. With my head on the table, I heard the sound of a wooden chair being dragged across the crystal floor. 

“What are we having?” 

I lazily rolled my head to see Jadiz had sat next to me. 

“Eggs, toast, grits, buttermilk biscuits, and gravy.” Flash grinned as he continued for another bite. He hesitated for a brief moment with the fork at his muzzle before looking over at us. Probably wondering if he should wait, now that we were officially eating together.

“Don’t mind us.” I waved my free hoof. The other was holding my cheek up. “We’ll get our food in a moment. I’m sure the staff already noticed we sat down.” 

“Sounds like a rural feast.” Jadiz said in a calm and neutral voice.

I grinned at him. “Well shucks, I know our country ways are confusing to you, but just close your eyes and I’m sure you’ll find our home cooked cuisine to be down right tasty.” I poorly attempted a country accent. Trying to channel the voice of Twilie’s friend Applejack. 

Flash failed to hide his chuckle. Making fun of Jadiz’s posh speaking cadence was a sport to me. 

“This coming from a stallion who was born and raised in Canterlot.” He bit back. “You’re about as rural as you are pink, sir.” 

Once again, I felt the unintentional sting from Jadiz’s joke. Pink just made me think of Cadance. Both of them. My brain was starting to blend the two of them together, which is what got me in an emotional mess in the first place. Yet, thinking of her as separate made her feel so far away from me. 

“What’s on your mind, my lord?” Jadiz asked, reading the expression on my face, and my lack of reaction to his humor. 

“That’s the issue.” I finally sat up straight. “What isn’t on my mind? There’s too much to think about, and it’s driving me crazy.” 

Both of them calmly nodded. Stallions suck at talking about their feelings. Twilie used to say to me. Perhaps she was right. Males preferred to keep their feelings bottled up and deal with them privately, and silently. I can’t say I wasn’t guilty of that as well. 

“So, which of those things is eating you right now?” Flash asked. He was close to Twilight. They were in love, I’d heard. Why was that so easy to think about now? A week ago, that thought would have consumed me with rage. It just seemed so… trivial wasn’t the word. It was important, it’s just weird that it was so… natural.

“How are things with you and Twilight?” I side stepped his question.

“I-” His face turned cherry red, as he tried desperately -oh so desperately- to hide his blush. Tried and failed. The fear in his eyes was both amusing and irritating to me. “I thought we were talking about your feelings- ah er… not for Twilight like that, obviously, I meant like in general feelings uh… yeah…” He shoveled a spoon full of grits into his mouth.

“I knew what you meant, Flash.” I wanted to make fun of him awkwardly blurting out a comment about implied incest, but he looked tortured enough on his own. I decided to take pity on him. That didn’t mean I couldn’t wear a knowing grin on my mug. “I just need to warm up on your personal life before I get to mine.”

Both stallions laughed. Well, Flash laughed. Jadiz had a subdued chuckle. At least he was  loosening up a bit. And so was I. 

“Twilight and I are…” His eyes were glued to my expression, looking for any concerning change of my face. I was tempted to mess with him. Unfortunately, he would probably believe it too much if I did. “Good, we’re very good.” He pursed his lips and nodded curtly. Like a foal trying not to be grounded. 

“I’m not gonna bite you, Flash.” I saw a servant approaching the table with two steaming plates. My mouth was already watering at the smell. “You don’t look as good as those eggs.”

“What?” Flash blinked at my comment.

“I mean, it’s ok to talk about. We’ve already talked about it. It’s all good.” I moved my head and hoof out of the way as the steaming plate was set in front of me, filling my senses with anticipation. 

“I mean, we’ve talked a few times but…” Flash paused.

“But what?” I raised my eyebrow, feeling the cold judgment return to my downturned cheeks. “Are you saying nothing’s changed since we talked?” I wish I had taken the accusatory tone out of my voice. Too late.

“If you must know…” Flash sat up straight and rolled his shoulders back. He looked at me like he was ready for a physical fight. “I sent her a message saying, in no uncertain terms, that I love her and I want to…” A chink appeared in his armor. “Well, I didn’t wanna say ‘spend the rest of my life with her,’ I mean… I feel that way. But isn’t it a bit too soon to start saying stuff like that? I mean we’ve known each other a long time-”

I mercifully decided to interject. “‘No uncertain terms,’ you say.”

Flash hung his head for a second before straightening up again. “Look, I told her I love her and I want to be with her. And I can’t wait to see her again so I can show her how much I miss her in person.” His cheeks turned bright red again. It looked like fire on the backdrop of his yellow fur.

“Good.” I nodded, and I swear a thousand pounds of weight dropped from his shoulders.

Flash smacked his forehead with his hoof. “Oh Celestia, I shouldn’t have worded it like that. Now she’s gonna think I’m only interested in-”

“No she won’t.” I cut in for his sake once again. 

“You don’t think?” He rubbed the back of his blue spiky mane. His two toned blue mane was a darker gradient than mine. Somehow it looked good, all messed up and spiked like that. Did he even have to brush his hair in the morning?

Lucky jerk.

“Nah.” I flicked my hoof. “She’ll have gotten the message, don’t worry. Especially if you had trouble phrasing it. She finds it earnest and… cute.” The word made me cringe. “Twilie and Cadance are very similar in regards to romance.” I instantly regretted my phrasing.

“Sir, with all due respect,” Flash grimaced at me. “Please never say that sentence out loud again.”

Now who was making incest references? “You know what I meant.” It was my turn to wear embarrassment on my face. 

“And Twilight knew what I meant.” Flash pointed his fork at me.

“And I’m hungry.” Jadiz spoke up, finally. He dug into his plate about as quickly and greedily as one could while still observing impeccable table manners. I looked down at my breakfast, feeling the rumbling in my stomach. For the next several minutes, the three of us ate in relative silence. Just a calm, serene moment to ourselves. No mention of the battle, or injuries, or losses. All of that would be addressed in due time. For now we needed a moment to heal and rejuvenate.

My eyes glanced over to the bandage on Flash’s left wing. It was a small wrap around the base of the wing on his abdomen. Some Changeling must have caught him there in the battle, grounding him. Although, I’m not sure he could have flown in that magical darkness even if he tried. 

“What happened to your wing?” A dumb question on my part. For some reason I wanted to hear the details. 

Flash reached over with his good wing to rub the injured one. “Oh yeah, it happened after you and I got separated. Changeling got a lucky shot.” He nursed his wing, continuing to rub it as if I had reminded him that it hurt. 

“Don’t need much luck when one side can see and the other can’t.” Excuses. I was making excuses for our loss. There must have been some sort of tell. Some clue we missed that could have prevented it. Magical darkness was alicorn level magic. We failed to consider that Queen Chrysalis would have access to such high level spells. In retrospect it seems obvious, considering how powerful she is. We just assumed that power was highly specialized. Now we were paying the cost of our assumptions, and our underestimation of the enemy.

“I was trying to use my ears to dodge and counterattack.” Flash went on. “That wing buzz of theirs is a pretty useful tell. I just…” He sneered down at his empty plate. “I heard him coming, I just misjudged the distance. I was so mad when he got me. Careless.” 

“You fought valiantly.” I had no doubt of that. If I ever had to march an army into Tartarus, I was sure Flash would be there to lead the vanguard. “We all did.”

But did I? I had some minor scrapes and bruises, but nothing that needed too much attention. Would the Crystal Ponies question their Prince when they see him walking around unscathed after a catastrophic defeat like that? Would they whisper things to each other like: Did he even fight? Or, Did he run and hide? And, Why didn’t he protect us? Did Jadiz think any of that when he first saw me this morning? Heck, Cadence was injured more than I was.

“After that, it was a matter of moments before I was overwhelmed.” Flash continued without acknowledging my comment. “I heard them surround me.” He caught a lump in his throat before going on. “They toyed with me. They knew who I was, calling my name. Calling me ‘Captain.’ I tried to fight back, but there were so many of them. Finally I felt their love draining magic on me. It was warm and ugly. Like an uncomfortable sweat on a humid summer day. I panicked. My mind instinctively thought of Twilight. I knew they were going to take all of my love and feelings away. I didn’t want to lose that. To lose her. But that fear it…” 

He shook his head. Trying to find the words. “It made it work faster, I think. I don’t know if that’s how the spell works, but the more I tried to hold onto my feelings for Twilight, the faster they drained it out of me. I watched as the image of her in my mind dulled and grayed. Until she meant nothing.” He bit his bottom lip, trying to hold back tears. “I still thought of her, but I didn’t know why. Why did I care? Why did I bother? I wanted to be horrified, but I couldn't even have that. It just didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. I heard them laughing as they flew away from my living corpse. I couldn’t even feel my wounded pride.”

Flash’s story was eerily similar to mine, and probably to thousands who were caught out in the open last night. I looked over at Jadiz, who was quiet as usual in social situations. 

“Was it the same for you?” I asked him.

He nodded his head, but didn’t look at me. “Very similar.”

“Do you want to tell your story?” I asked.

“No.” He replied. I decided to let it drop. 

“I thought all hope was lost until I saw Princess Cadance.” Flash perked up.

“You saw her?” I assumed he hadn’t seen her since the light’s went out. 

“Well, I saw her specter.” He looked up as if she were in the air above him.

“Her specter?” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hey!” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m not a unicorn, I don’t know how this stuff works.” He raised his hooves in the air, gesturing to the memory of what he saw. “It was the outline of her, but her body was glowing white and gold. Like an angel descending on me. I saw similar light all around me. The magical darkness was shattered, as she walked the city. She was everywhere. I watched as her light went into me. It was warm, not warm like the love draining magic. No, far from it. It was like sitting by the fire on a chilly Hearth’s Warming Eve. I felt myself come alive again. I could feel again. I thought of Twilight, and she was just as beautiful to me as ever. I wanted to see her again. Be with her.”

He paused, and looked down at the table again. “But now that I could feel again, that meant the guilt started setting in. I failed.” His haunted expression looked my way. “We failed. And Cadance saved us all.”

Flash gripped his glass of orange juice, and proudly held it in the air. “To our lady, Princess Cadance. The keeper of the Crystal Empire!”

In the corner of my eye I saw Jadiz raise his milk glass. All I had was water, and I raised it all the same. 

“To Cadance!” I echoed.

“To the Princess!” Jadiz’s firm tone stuck out to me. Compared to his usual calm demeanor. We clinked our glasses together, downing every single drop, before slamming the glasses down on the table. We laughed together for a good moment. We needed a good laugh. I hoped nopony misinterpreted it as irreverence.

“So what happened to you?” Flash asked, and it felt like an interrogation. He didn’t mean it that way. He was just curious. “Pretty much the same?”

“The first part yeah.” I nodded soberly. “After we were separated, I was cornered and drained. Although I got away without any serious injuries.” I bit my bottom lip, grimacing at the table. It’s almost like they’d kept me uninjured on purpose. 

“You don’t need an injury to prove you fought for us.” Flash tried to tuck his limp wing away.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I lied. 

“Don’t give me that!” He sneered at me, and I could feel my blood boil beneath the surface of my skin. Flash knew how to push my buttons just right. Or wrong. 

“Watch it, Captain.” I sneered back at him. 

“Do you wanna know how I know you’re full of it, Shining?”

“How am I full of it? I’d love to know!” I would actually love to know. Yelling and arguing with Flash just felt… normal. I needed things to be normal. 

“Because I’m the Captain of the Royal Guard. And I feel like I failed every stallion and mare under my command. I was embarrassed that I didn’t die out there defending the capital.” He took in a quick deep breath. “Don’t you dare tell me that the Prince of this land, and a former CRG himself, isn’t ashamed that he got out of that fight uninjured. You did everything you could, Shining. We all fought valiantly, just like you said.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I let the dead air hang. The validation meant a lot coming from Flash. I hoped the Crystal Ponies felt the same way. Flash held his hoof out to me. I met his hoof bump with my own. It was the first time we had shared something like that as friends. We held each other’s gaze, pushing our hooves together for a long time. At first it was in solidarity, but soon turned into a competition. To see who blinked first, or moved their hoof, or what have you. We didn’t think about it that hard. I held the pose so long, my shoulder started to hurt. Flash noticed and started grinning at me. I grinned back and pushed my hoof harder against his.

“Shall I begin the wedding arrangements for the two of you? Inform your current wife and girlfriend?” Jadiz chirped with his dry wit. Flash and I broke off at the same time, and laughed so hard we nearly fell out of our chairs. 

“I’ll break the bad news to Twilight.” I pointed at Flash, who was waving his hoof and laughing so hard, he couldn’t speak. I turned to Jadiz, feeling on a roll. “Are you officiating the wedding? Which one of us is the wife?”

Jadiz didn’t miss a beat. “I’d say both of you are the wife.” 

That did it. We were all reduced to giggling hysterics. So much so that the kitchen staff kept peeking out the swaying double doors at us. 

“Yeah, I’ll break the bad news to Cadance too.” Flash slapped his knee, breaking into more laughter. I instantly clammed up. The smile sucked off of my expression like love stealing magic. 

Flash noticed my change in mood, and cleared his throat. “I mean uh… well. I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s ok.” I let Flash off the hook. “It’s just that, I hope that would be bad news to her.”

I’m sorry I tried to replace her. I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll let you grieve her. Cadance had said to me in the castle spire by the Crystal Heart. Cadance wasn’t a replacement. She was her own pony worthy of love and admiration. Jadiz looked perturbed at me. Flash sat there in remorseful confusion. 

“Why do you say that?” Flash asked, and I told them. I told them everything. The weight of it poured off my shoulders with every spoken word. I told them about how I was drained emotionless. I was barely conscious as several Changelings grabbed me and carried me into the air. Being dragged blindly upwards would have been terrifying if I was able to feel it. I was dropped at Cadance’s hooves. Chrysalis used me to hurt Cadance. It wasn’t enough that she wouldn’t leave us alone. She had become the bane of our existence ever since our wedding. Now she was making us hurt each other. How did she know there was something wrong between us? Did her spies tell her? Were they watching us at every private moment somehow? Did she hear us talking on the balcony during the pegasi rain showers? The thought of this wicked Queen stalking us filled me with dread.

And hatred.

I told them about what happened up there. The taunting, my anti-confession, the truce, the Crystal Heart’s revival, and what Cadance said to me. I won’t bother you anymore.

“That’s a tough one.” Flash blew out a long puff of air. 

Jadiz swallowed before speaking. “My lord, please forgive my remark earlier this morning.”

“You didn’t know, Jadiz. It’s ok. It was just a joke.” 

“All the same, I’m sorry.” Jadiz gave a tiny nod.  

“Is that how you really feel about her?” Flash asked. Making me completely exasperated.

“I don’t know!” I blurted out too loud. “Everytime I look at her I see the mare I married, but it’s not her. She’s a completely different person. I don’t even know her.”

“You don’t?” Flash looked confused. “Huh, could have fooled me.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I mean…” Flash stammered again. I swear he was even worse than me at putting thoughts into words. “Tell me everything you know about her. The new Cadance.”

I sat stunned for a moment. “Like, everything?”

“Yeah, let’s say we’ve never met this new Cadance.” Flash gestured to me. “How would you describe her to me and Jadiz?”

“Well...” I turned to glance at Jadiz. By the look in his eyes I could tell his ears were perked. So I let loose:

“She’s a firecracker of a personality. Completely bold, never afraid to say anything that’s on her mind. She is super passionate to a fault. Which means she’ll go from fine to raving mad if she feels slighted or insulted, but she’ll also defend anypony she cares about with the same quick trigger. And when she drops her shield, even just a little bit, you can see how sincere she is. She has the warmth and care of a mother, along with the fire and grit of a warrior. Sometimes at the same time. She’s a sucker for fine cuisine, basically a foodie. She has a way of rallying an entire room, making everyone feel important and comfortable. She makes anywhere she goes a safe place for everypony to be themselves. She treats everypony equally with no sense of hierarchy. Nopony is more or less than anyone else. I thought I was an egalitarian, but she puts me to shame in that regard. She’s brave, loving, and kind. And if you ever cross her or put somepony she cares about in harm’s way, Celestia help you, she’ll…” I finally paused for a breath, realizing that Flash’s point was thoroughly made.

“That sounds like a lot of things to know about somepony you don’t know.” Flash smiled.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I scratched my cheek. “I do know her pretty well, but it pales in comparison to how much I knew her before.”

“Sir, if I may?” Jadiz chimed in. 

“Of course you may.” I turned to Jadiz. “You never have to ask.” That put a gleam in his eye. Still, I was sure he would continue asking in the future. Like a politeness code he lived by.

“It would seem to me that you don’t have a wife in Mrs. Cadance. You have a marefriend.” He said, adjusting his bowtie even though it was already straight. 

“Yeah, that’s a good way to put it.” Flash agreed. 

“So, what?” The gears in my brain began to turn. “I should just start dating her like we’re a new couple?”

“Do you like her?” Flash gave me a sideways grin. “As in, do you like, like her?” He said as if we were still school colts. 

“Yes I do.” I replied with confidence that surprised me. It didn’t surprise the two of them.

“Then you are literally a new couple.” Jadiz’s logical voice confirmed. 

“Is it really that sim-” The realization hit me. I laid my head on the table, covering my face with my hooves. “Oh Celestia, did I do it again? Did I really take a lay up and over complicate it?”

I felt a hoof on the back of my shoulder. “Would you prefer I didn’t say it?” Jadiz asked.

“Shut up.” I said through my frustrated smile. 

“Well I’d never…” Jadiz siad, taking mock offense. 

“So go get that lay up, Shining.” I felt Flash’s hoof tap my other shoulder. “Make it a slam dunk.”

I sat up suddenly, causing them to retract their hooves. “But what if it’s too late?”

“Why would it be too late?” Flash shook his head.

“Because…” My mind raced through the last several weeks. Had it even been two months yet? “She told me ‘I won’t bother you anymore.’” I waited for one of them to say something, but they stayed quiet. “Maybe I pushed her over her limit. She was ready to be with me, and I broke her heart. What if I can’t take it back now. What if it’s too late?” I yelled as I repeated my question. 

“What if a meteor strikes the Capital?” Jadiz flippantly stated.

“What?” I wasn’t sure where he was going with that.

“Many things are out of our control, my lord. If it truly is too late, then worrying about it cannot change it. All you can do, all you must do, is tell Miss Cadance how you feel. And if she doesn’t feel the same way, then you must live with her decision. As she was willing to live with yours.” Jadiz’s words cut straight into me. He sat calmly as ever with one hoof on top of the other. A proper gentlecolt. 

I turned to look at Flash, who quietly nodded his agreement. 

“Alright.” I stood up. “Might as well do it right now.” I marched to the door that exited into the castle hallway. “It’s sure not gonna get any easier.” I turned back to look at the two of them.

“Wish me luck.” I waved.

“Good luck.” Flash waved back.

“May the Crystal Heart bless your union.” Jadiz gave a muted, parade-like wave. I straightened my back, rolled back my shoulders, and took a deep breath. The last thing I heard as I exited into the hallway was Flash asking,

“You gonna eat that?”





****

> Chapter 18
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hallway was much longer than usual today. Each step I took towards Cadance’s room made my heart beat faster. It felt like school all over again. I hoped she still liked me, but couldn’t be sure. All I could think about was how devastating it would be to get rejected. Here I was a grown stallion, but nothing had changed about this part of me. The dork who couldn’t talk to mares. I got lucky back then. I got through it. I got the girl. I was married, and didn’t have to worry about dating or impressing mares anymore. I was passed that. Yet, here I was having to do it all over again.

I stood in front of her door for what must have been a solid ten minutes. Sweat had built up on my back, and I was taking big long breaths to calm myself down. Should I have brought a gift? Maybe some flowers or chocolate? I could have dressed up. Looking nice never hurts. Was my mane ok? It was good enough for regular interactions, but I didn’t expect to have to shoot my shot today. Or ever again for that matter. I rubbed my mane, looking for places it might be messed up. I probably messed it up in the process. Was I about to mess this up too?

“My Lord?” I snapped around way too abruptly. As if I had been caught doing something bad by a teacher.

“Pell!” My voice nearly cracked. “Oh I was just um… hello.” I greeted her.

“You weren’t about to go in there were you?” Pell raised her eyebrow in suspicion. 

“Uh, well, yes.” I rubbed the back of my head. “Actually I was. Is that bad?” I looked back and forth down the hallway, feeling guilty.

“She can’t see you right now.” Pell put herself between me and the door. Was she blocking me from going in? “At least, it’s best if you didn’t disturb her.” Something on Pell’s face seemed hesitant. As if there was something she didn’t want to say. Was it really that bad? Had I gone so far, and hurt her so much that she was bitter?

“You mean, she doesn’t want to see me?” I could feel my heart breaking, ready to crumble to the floor.

“No, my lord.” There it went. Shattered into pieces. “Please give her some time.” What good would time do? If she wasn’t interested anymore, I may not be the best at math, but zero plus zero is zero.

“I…” I held back my tears. The last thing I wanted was to make a scene, or cry out in the open. “I understand. I’m sorry, just… tell her I’m sorry.” I turned to walk away.

“No harm done, my lord.” Pell tried to sound cheerful for my sake. However, harm was done. I had hurt Cadance, and now I was devastated as well. “Oh, also the parade got moved back an hour.”

“What?” I looked back at Pell.

“The parade that’s scheduled at the end of the week. The planners thought it would be best to have it right at sunset.” Pell continued casually. I guess there was nothing to be done, but go about with business as usual. “The royal seats will be on the main castle balcony promenade, as usual.”

I opened my mouth to tell Pell to tell the planners to cancel the parade, but closed it. Life had to go on. I understood that.

Ugh, great. Cadence and I would be forced to sit together. That was going to be awkward. Hopefully the parade would be a good distraction from that. I couldn’t help but remember our homecoming parade. And the float that my friends and I spent so much time making. Not to mention the costumes, and the song we wrote. How long did we have to keep up this charade of ‘happily married couple’? 

That’s when the idea hit me. If Cadance didn’t want me anymore, so be it. But I was going to go out with a bang. I would let her and everypony know exactly how I felt. 





****




“My lady.” Pell’s voice took me out of my thoughts and back to consciousness. “Is that all you’re going to wear?” I sat in front of the vanity mirror in my room. I had no dress, no crown, or any of my usual princess accessories today. In fact, it would likely be a long time until I’d feel comfortable wearing all that glitz and glam again.

“Is it already time for the parade?” I asked. Time went by at a bizarre pace in the week following Queen Chrysalis’s assault. Laying in my bed recovering from my wounds made the days pass agonizingly slow, yet somehow the week had flown by me. I was delighted to finally have the bandages removed from my wings yesterday, and the scars on my cutie mark were healing well. My injuries prevented me from attending any royal duties, but now I was healed enough, the parade would be my first outing since the attack. 

“We have a few minutes, but yes.” Pell said while staring at my mane. “I see you went with the ‘classic’ look.” She raised her eyebrows at the word “classic.” The only “outfit” I had chosen to wear was to tie my ponytail with a baby blue bow. Just like when Pell styled it for my doomed date with Shining. I hadn’t seen him all week. Apparently he had been diligently leading the recovery effort in the capital, while I sat on my butt recovering. 

“Shall we get going?” Pell asked cheerfully as I lingered in my seat.

“I guess.” I let out a long breath. “I just feel embarrassed to show my face after a week of doing nothing… again.” I slapped my forehead as the irony of my previous coma struck me. 

“My lady, you saved us all.” Pell bowed. There was no wink or quirk in her movement. She was serious. “You did more work for us than any other pony, and you need your rest. You deserve your rest.” She insisted. 

“The Crystal Heart saved us.” I retreated into my old doubts. I could almost hear his voice, the Crystal Heart, chastising me for doing so.

When you doubt yourself, believe in me. He had told me. 

“The Crystal Heart needs a vessel to unleash that sort of power.” Pell corrected me. I could have sworn she was roleplaying the Crystal Heart. 

Did you put her up to this? I focused my thoughts down my connection to the Crystal Heart, and I swear I could hear him laughing.

“Is it wise to hold a parade so soon after the attack?” I dodged our current conversation. 

Pell stood thoughtful for a moment. “Wise isn’t the right word.” She shook her head. “It’s hope.”

“Hope?”

“I think that the citizens feel cheated that their festival was cut short.” Pell marched over to the bed. “I think they are angry that they were violated by the Changelings.” She began pulling the linens off to remake it. “I think they fear the Changelings are trying to take away who they are. They want to celebrate what their Prince and Princess have done to protect them, and pay tribute to the Crystal Heart who guides them.” Pell was a uniquely efficient worker, but something about her movements today was extra crisp. 

“And that gives them hope?” I finished Pell’s line of thought. “This parade is their way of giving thanks.” She smiled out of the corner of her mouth as she finished making the bed. 

“Are you ready to receive their thanks, my lady?” Pell walked away from her perfectly made bed, and stood by the door to the hallway. 

“Yeah, sure.” I couldn’t help but giggle as I stood up. “What am I, some sort of goddess?” I pictured myself floating in the heavens, baked in divine light, and wearing a robe.

“No, my lady.” Pell closed the door behind us as we entered the castle hallway. “A goddess would not need a nanny to clean up after her and keep her on schedule.” 

“Well, if you see a good nanny, be sure to send her my way.” I sassed back. Pell gave me a deathly glare, but her lips curled up with a grin.

“Good to see you haven’t lost your spunk, Princess.”

We made our way to the center balcony overlooking the grand plaza down below. This was the same balcony where I made my first announcement to the Crystal Ponies. I had used this balcony during evening pegasi showers to vent and reflect. Shining had been there for all of those moments. He was nowhere to be seen now. When we got to the balcony, there was only a silver colored earth pony with a jade mane. He was dressed quite dapper, and sat politely in one of four pre-arranged seats, facing the parade path.

“Jadiz?” I tilted my head. I had met him a few times, though our interactions were usually polite, but brief.

“Welcome, my lady.” He stood up to bow to me. A clean and crisp bow that he took nearly to the floor. Pell could learn a thing or two from him. 

“Where is Shining?” I looked around the balcony with only the three of us standing on it. 

Jadiz’s eye twitched before he spoke. “Apparently, he is still getting ready. He asked me to join him for the parade viewing, and said that Pellucid would most certainly be joining you as well.” The pronunciation of Pell’s full name sounded natural in his accent. “Naturally, I prepared our seating section ahead of time.” He gestured to his work. The four seats looked exquisitely comfortable. They were thickly cushioned, and had reclining action on them. Above them he had set up a rectangular overhang to keep the sun out of our eyes.

“Oh ok.” My eyes greedily fixated on one of the center seats. Such an inviting set up. “I’m sure he’ll be here any moment.” I wasted no time plopping myself into the seat, and leaning my head back. I may have been resting all week, but the recovery process still left me tired. Being able to lounge in a position different to my same old bed reminded me how it felt to truly relax. Pell sat on my right. Jadiz, somewhat reluctantly, sat on the far left, leaving the other middle seat for Shining. 

We chatted idly for a few minutes before the parade began. The citizens down below eagerly positioned themselves on either side of the roped off pathway. Children sat on their parent’s backs, holding national flags, fresh flowers, and memorabilia. It reminded me of the first time I had seen them all gather together like this. So much joy and hope in their eyes. The hope that Pell spoke of radiated off of them like the reflected sunlight on their crystal hydes. It wasn’t until the parade began in earnest that I started to worry.

“Where is Shining?” I asked as the first float passed beneath the balcony. The parade was pathed to pass beneath us first and then drive out to the edge of the city. I waved to everyone who eagerly waved back at me. 

“I-I’m not sure, my lady.” Jadiz’s shaky voice answered. Was he sweating? What in the world was going on?

The parade was spectacular. Pegasi would fly banners through the air, and drop confetti onto onlookers down below. In between floats there were marching bands, and dancing ponies on the street. They dressed in feathers and streamers, creating organized formations that appeared as various shapes from our vantage point. Larger than life balloons were guided by tethers. There was one for each of the royals in Equestria and the Crystal Empire. It was surreal seeing giant inflated representations of myself and Shining Armor pass in front of my view. It was a splendid sight to behold, especially considering how little time there was to plan it. Not to mention that it was taking place while the capital was still recovering. Bits of damaged buildings and broken storefronts were covered with colorful banners, but the scarring could still be seen peeking through. The floats and balloons dwindled as the parade seemed to be wrapping up. Ponies began flowing into the street, following behind the ending parade.

“I can’t believe he’s going to miss the whole thing!” I complained to Pell who seemed just as perplexed as I was. Jadiz remained quiet in his corner. 

The street cleaners looked prepped to start their clean up, and I assumed the parade had come to an end. However, one more float came forward and turned the corner into view. This one was set up as a stage with instruments ready to go. The crowd abruptly turned and headed towards the stage, obviously expecting live music. There was an ancient castle setup in the back of the float, and, as the float got closer, a band came out from behind the setup, picked up their instruments, and stood ready to perform. In the center of them stood what looked like…

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

It was Shining Armor! He was dressed in a ridiculously over the top old timey suit jacket. It had an obnoxious golden lapel complete with frilly sleeves, and ascot tied around his neck. He was holding a keytar. A freakin’ keytar? 

I sat with my mouth agape as the float came to a stop in the center of the grand plaza. Shining Armor looked straight up at where we were sitting.

“This song goes out to the fairest mare in all the world!” He declared into the microphone set up in front of him. The speaker stacks on the sides of the float were massive, and their power showed as his voice boomed across the capital. 

Pell and I turned to look at Jadiz at the same time with what I assumed was the same narrow eyed expression. His head slowly, and reluctantly, turned to face both of our suspicious gazes.

“Surprise?” He said with a shrug. Before we could chastise him, the song began. The instrumentation was loud like a rock concert. It was a rock concert. The crowd began to jump up and down with the beat. 

Shining belted the song to the entire empire: 

I love pretty pink mares. They make me feel so good!
I love tri-colored hair. It makes me feel so bad!
When they’re around they make me feel like the only colt in town.
I love pretty pink mares. They make me feel so good!

My cheeks were burning red. I couldn’t believe he was doing this. Well, other than the fact he had literally done it before - or so I remembered from his stories. But, this time it was for me. The current me. He wasn’t singing to his lost wife in high school. The memory of his beloved. He was singing to me. His singing voice wasn’t bad, however, he was certainly not a practiced performer. Yet, he belted away without an ounce of shame or remorse in his body. When he was done, the crowd erupted in cheers and applause. So many hooves stamped the city streets below, you could feel the vibration up here in the castle. 

“Princess Cadance.” Shining spoke and the crowd subsided again. “Will you go out with me?”

I could hear the subtle ‘again?’ that he didn’t say. But I could feel it. 

The crowd laughed at him. I heard “oohs” and “aahs” and hollering and whistling. Shining took it all in stride, while I felt embarrassed enough for the both of us. I assumed his comment was meant as a joke. However, he just stood there looking up at me. His baby blue eyes filled with anticipation.

“My lady, are you just going to leave him standing there?” Pell asked with Jadiz looking on in quiet approval. 

I smacked my forehead with my hoof. “This can’t be happening.” I looked down to see he was still waiting for a response.

Fine. If he was willing to make a complete fool of himself, the least I could do was go down there and let him know how I felt about it. I spread my wings and gave them a quick test. I hadn’t flown since the attack. The base of my wings were still tender, and I probably wouldn’t want to fly anywhere for very long. Although, a quick controlled descent would be fine. I stood up on the balcony rail to a resurgence of cheers and applause. I leapt into the air, gliding my way down to Shining Armor’s cheesy castle float. He watched me descend with wonderment in his eyes, never averting his gaze as I landed beside him.

“Cadance, I-” I placed my hoof on his muzzle, instantly shutting him up. His trembling gaze weakened as he looked at my neutral stare. I decided to put him out of his misery.

“You had me at ‘I love pretty pink mares.’” I moved my hoof off of his muzzle and replaced it with my own. The crowd cheered so loud, my ears rang as I kissed him in front of our entire kingdom. I could feel his goofy smile on my lips. 

“Is that a yes?” He asked as we broke away to take a breath with our horns resting against one another. 

“Are you gonna make me say it?” I asked as both of our voices were being picked up by the microphone. 

“It’d be nice.” The mischievous glint in his eyes blended with his boyish smile. 

“Yes, Prince Shining Armor.” I sarcastically dragged out his full name. “I’d love to go out with you.”

He went back in to kiss me again, and the crowd went wild.





****





“So let me get this straight.” I asked Shining as he tried not to look embarrassed. We were standing in my room, far away from the prying eyes of the entire kingdom. I have no idea how many subjects knew the context behind that parade float moment, or if they thought it was just theater. 

“When Pell told you that you couldn’t go into my room to see me, you assumed that I had demanded you be kept away from me. Because I didn’t like you anymore after you rejected me under a love draining spell. And not because it was the morning after the attack, and I was unconscious and recovering from my physical wounds, and exhausted from casting a mass essence regeneration spell.”

Shining stared blankly for a few seconds. “Well, when you say it all like that, it sounds pretty stupid and obvious.” I was about to say more when he continued. “But there is another reason. A good one I promise.” He held up his hooves in defense. 

“I’m listening.” I raised one eyebrow. 

“First of all, I’m sorry about what I said in the Crystal Heart chamber.” My heart sank at the mention of that. Chrysalis’s haunting laugh echoed in my mind. “The truth is, I want to love you. But we have to start where we are, not where I want us to be.” He took my hoof into his. “I want a fresh start for us. Give us a chance to make something out of what we’ve started.”

This was basically what I was trying to tell him on the balcony in the rain. I guess he needed to internalize it and make it work with his own thoughts. No wonder stallions think they’re so smart. They just steal all their best ideas from the mares in their life. 

“And what about her?” I asked with a lump in my throat. I accuse him of putting his hoof in his mouth all the time, but I certainly had a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time too.

“Best case scenario…” He swallowed before he went on. “She comes back. Then I have both of you. Because you’ll remember everything. We’ll gain everything we had before without losing a single day since.” He squeezed my hoof as his bright smile helped clear the dark clouds in my head. 

“And worse case scenario?”

He paused to think for a moment. “Is there a worse case scenario? We’re together again. We go forward with what we have. We rebuild like we did with the capital after the attack.” He nodded.

“And that’s ok?” I asked barely above a whisper. 

You’re not in this alone, Princess. You never were. The Crystal Heart’s words resonated with me.

“I would fall in love with you all over again, everyday for the rest of my life, If it means I get to have you.”

That’s when I knew that everything would be ok. Shining Armor gave me courage and strength where mine failed. Pell, the Crystal Heart, and my whole kingdom stood behind me. I would never fail them because they would never fail me. Brick by brick and day by day, we would never stop building upon what we had. 

As our lips met once again, the doubts vanished from my mind. Never to return.





****

> Chapter 19
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


One Year Later



“Cadance?” Shining Armor called from across the room. I had been fussing with my hair in front of the vanity mirror for longer than I wanted to confirm by looking at a clock. 

“Cadance, we’re going to be late.” I could see his amused expression from across the room in the mirror. He wasn’t really mad, only pushing my buttons.

“I’m almost done.” I ran the brush through a thick section of the cream colored part of my hair, and I swear it undid the last five minutes of brushing. “Ugh!” I cried, slapping the brush against my thigh.

“Yeah, it sure sounds like you’re almost done.” He walked up behind me, looking at me through the mirror. 

“Shut up.” I said with the sweetest and most saccharine smile I could muster. 

“Why don’t you just have Pell do it?” He shrugged.

“Because Pell is busy with the baby, and I wanted to do this myself while I still have time in my morning routine to do so.” I went back to brushing out my long hair. It was probably due for a trim. “And I’m not looking forward to having no time myself, so forgive me if I cling onto the last vestiges of my free time.” 

“Honey, the baby was born last week. Nopony is expecting you to have it all figured out.” His eyes nervously darted to our bedroom door. “I’m sure we’ll figure out a new routine, and everything will be fine.” 

“Easy for the stallion in the relationship to say.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Hey!” He rested his hoof on his hip with great indignance. “I’m doing my part too. We’re a team, remember?”

“Oh yeah? Letting Jadiz go buy diapers for you makes you a real trooper.” I rolled my eyes as I picked up a headband to tie my mane off with. 

“You’re not going to let me live that down are you?” Shining, tapped his hoof on the floor.

“Darling, I love you. And Jadiz is a dear, but he’s never had a foal before. And if I knew you were going to send Jadiz, I would have sent Pell. Or at least told him exactly what type of diaper we were looking for like I spent ten minutes telling you. Because he ended up coming back with, like, a year’s supply of the cheapest diapers in the kingdom.”

“And I returned those diapers, and bought the correct ones.” He proudly pumped his chest.

“With Pell’s help.” I reminded him, letting the sassy tone match my grin.

“And a great help she is, what’s your point?” 

I turned to face him. “The point is that I don’t want to lean too hard on Pell. I want to make sure I’m doing the work of raising Flurry Heart myself.” It made me smile on the inside just to say her name. I pictured our little baby laying in her crib in the newly minted nursery just down the hall from our bedroom. She was probably coughing up snot as we spoke. 

“You mean that we are doing the work.” Shining raised an eyebrow.

“Yes of course, dear.” I agreed before snapping to look back at the mirror. Was my hair still not cooperating? 

“Speaking of not leaning too hard on Pell, we should probably get to the baby’s room and relieve her.” Shining pointed his head towards the door.

I sighed, letting go of my hang up with my mane. “You’re right. Let’s go before I change my mind, and spend all day in front of this mirror.” 

“Something that has never happened before, I’m sure.” He quipped as I stood up to face him.

“Watch it, buddy.” I pointed in his face. “You may find yourself in trouble with my postpartum.”

We walked out the bedroom door, and continued our conversation. Which was probably going to start some castle gossip when taken out of context.

“You’re telling me you have postpartum depression?” He asked as if talking about a cold. 

“Postpartum annoyance.” I corrected him. “Everything you do and say wrong annoys me twice as much now that I’ve had a baby.” 

“I don’t think that’s a real thing.” Shining said as we reached the nursery door. It was cracked open, so we just entered. Pell was standing next to Flurry Heart’s cradle, and immediately shushed us with a silent hoof to her lips. 

Shining and I quietly stepped over to the side of her crib. It was built into the floor and made out of prismatic crystal, which would change colors in the full spectrum of the rainbow depending on how the light hit it. It was a beautiful sight to see when the curtains were open, but the cradle’s crystal was a semi-transparent gray with them closed. 

I leaned over the side of the cradle and looked down at my daughter. Her short stubby baby mane had already come in. She had pink and magenta colors like mine, with long streaks of turquoise instead of cream. I suppose the blue-ish color came from Shining Armor. I watched as her belly softly rose and fell with her tiny breaths. Her eyes were closed as she dreamed away without a care in the world. If I had anything to do with it, I would see to it that she never knew hardship or famine. However, if she started becoming a little brat at anypoint, I’d show her just enough hardship myself to set her straight. 

“She looks so peaceful when she’s sleeping.” Shining rested his elbows on the crib, holding his cheeks as he looked longingly down at his little baby filly. I knew Shining would be weak to her charm as she got older. I’d have to keep a watchful eye to make sure he didn’t spoil her rotten. He had only the best intentions, but still…

I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to hold her. I reached down into the crib and wrapped my arms under her head and bottom. I gently lifted her up to my shoulder, trying my best not to disturb her.

“A-heh… A-waaaaaaaah!” Flurry Heart wailed into my collar bone. 

“Oh poor baby.” I rubbed her back and wiggled her butt, trying to get her to calm back down. She just kept screaming.

“Now you’ve done it.” Pell put her hoof on her hip. “She was crying all morning, and I just got her to relax.”

“I know, I know, baby.” I said, answering both Flurry Heart and Pell. Her wings fluffed out, not sure where or how to lay. I tried to lay her back down in the crib, but her grip on my neck was something fierce. I may have woken her up crying, but she still wanted her mother. Her cries turned into desperate wheezes that forced her to suck in deep breaths in between each one. I held her in my arms, letting her cry her poor heart out. Pell and Shining stood by as mother and daughter bonded. Eventually, Flurry Heart’s cries subsided until she was fast asleep once more in my breast. 

“What time is it?” I asked as Shining Armor wrapped one hoof around me, and gently placed the other on top of Flurry Heart’s head. Her horn stuck out into the air. She was an alicorn, naturally born. Only Celestia and Luna were naturally born alicorns back in Equestria. Twilight and myself had ascended after coming of age. The implications of Flurry’s alicorn birth were still unknown. Was her biology the same as an ascended alicorn? Or would she live multiple millenia like Celestia and Luna? Would she outlive myself and Shining Armor as we simply guided her along the early part of her life? Perhaps she would rein on high long after we were gone. 

Twilight, Celestia, and Luna were currently on a train heading to the Crystal Empire. Perhaps the great sisters would have some answers for us when they got here - along with what I’m sure will be a mountain of gifts, which is why they took the train. Rumors had already reached me that the train cars were bursting with presents. I could only imagine the sight. For the time being, I was content to hold my precious child in my arms. 

“It’s 11:46.” Pell said and my brain panicked. 

“11:46!” I yelled as quietly as possible. Desperate not to wake Flurry Heart again. “The train is supposed to arrive in 14 minutes.”

“I told you to spend less time on your mane.” Shining mumbled. 

“Not now, dear.” I glared at him trying to hold back my smile and failing. “Quick, we need the stroller! And her binky, and a change of clothes, and a toy, and spare diapers. Where’s the diaper bag? We have to get moving before we leave them all waiting for us.”

“My lady.” Pell’s hoof rested on my free shoulder as Flurry Heart slept in my grasp, content as can be. “There’s no need to panic. I will look after Flurry Heart. You and Shining go meet the Princesses at the train station.

“Are you sure?” I pleaded with her, feeling guilty putting more duties on her. “I don’t want to impose…” I began as Pell waved me off.

“It’s fine, my lady.” She reached out her hooves, and I leaned over to transfer Flurry Heart to her. By some miracle, traveling from my shoulder to Pell’s didn’t wake her up. I was momentarily jealous, feeling like Flurry preferred Pell’s touch to mine. 

“Go to the train station.” Pell said quietly. “We’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back.”

“Do you have…” I was ready to list off things Flurry Heart would need, but Pell anticipated me and interrupted.

“I have everything she needs right here.” She rubbed the baby’s back as Flurry’s wings drooped, still not willing to properly tuck in. I felt Shining’s hoof on my shoulder.

“It’ll be fine.” He smiled at me. “We’ll be back in just a moment. Auntie Twilight, and great aunt Celestia and Luna will be delighted to see her.”

I nodded, and Shining and I left Pell in the nursery with our baby. It was still insane to me. Shining and I had a baby together. I now had a year’s worth of memories with him, and I cherished every moment we had spent together. Including the moments where I wanted to strangle him. He had brought me so much joy and now we had the privilege of raising a child together. I couldn’t wait to show her off to everyone. 

“But…” I began to argue one more time.

“Go, my lady.” Pell reassured me. “Time is of the essence.”

Shining and I left for the train station, leaving Flurry Heart under Pell’s care once again. I couldn’t think of any more trustworthy hooves to leave my daughter in. Pell, of course, was a champion at all things - including baby care. In fact, she excelled at it. I was incredibly thankful to have her as a faithful backup to my mommy duties. 

We made haste to the rail hub on the outskirts of the capital. Citizens waved and greeted us as we passed by. We tried not to brush them off or seem too much in a hurry. We had made going out in public like this a regular occurrence, so the citizenry was accustomed to seeing us wandering around. 

The station was modest for being the main stop in the Crystal Empire. It was a light purple and violet crystal building on a raised platform. There was a ticket window and office underneath an overhang, and a small indoor waiting area. There were maybe a dozen or so ponies waiting to buy tickets or waiting for loved ones like we were. It was 12:01 when Shining and I arrived, and so far no train had shown up at the station.

“Excuse me.” I walked to the ticket counter and spoke to the thick mustached crystal unicorn behind the counter. He wore a red velvet vest with a pocket watch sticking out of the front pocket.

“Greetings, my lady.” He smiled warmly at me. “Where are you and Prince Shining Armor off to on this beautiful day?”

“Oh, actually we’re waiting for someone to arrive.” I nervously looked at the empty train track. “Did the 12pm non stop from Canterlot already come and go?”

“Hmmm.” He opened his pocket watch and inspected the time piece. “Hasn’t arrived yet. They didn’t send a message that they were delayed so I imagine it’ll arrive any moment now. If you look southbound down the railway, you’ll probably see it coming down the track.” He pointed to the edge of the rail station. 

“Thank you.” I said, ready to hop over to the edge of the platform and watch for the train. However, the ticket pony’s words gave me pause.

“No, thank you.” He said as my eyes lingered on him for a moment. “Forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn, but thank you for everything you’ve done for us, my lady.” He bowed to me. When he came back up I tilted my head to him as well.

“May the Crystal Heart bless you and your family.” I said before leaving him at his booth. I was accustomed to interactions like this now. They felt natural with my newly rebuilt connection to the Crystal heart. I did my best to never take them for granted. The day that I start doing that is the day that I no longer deserve to be their Princess. 

Shining and I stood at the edge of the platform on the south side, and eagerly looked down the railroad track. Sure enough, a train was chugging its way towards us not too far down the horizon.

“Please stay behind the yellow marked line, my lord and lady. For your safety.” The ticket pony called from his booth. I looked down and saw a yellow painted line about a meter away from the edge of the platform. Shining and I were standing on the wrong side of it. Both of our faces turned a bit red as we gingerly stepped back behind the line, only to lean our heads over it, and watch the approaching train. 

I watched the smoke gently billow out of the chimney as the engineer blew the whistle signaling their approach. Once it came to a rest, a few moments passed before the passenger doors swung open.

“All passengers bound for the Crystal Empire, please disembark. Thank you for choosing Canterlot Rail.” The conductor said over the loudspeaker as my heart raced with excitement. I hadn’t seen Twilight in months, and I had yet to meet Princess Celestia and Luna in person. 

Apparently my back leg was twitching, cause I felt Shining Armor gently place his hoof on my thigh.

“It’s alright, babe.” He grinned at me as I forced my leg to calm down. “Celestia and Luna don’t bite. And if they do, Twilight will ask them politely and reverently to stop.”

“I know.” I narrowed my eyes and pouted my lips at him. “I’m not nervous, I’m just excited. The world is still very new to me.”

“Is it a good world?” Shining asked, and I put my hoof around him in response.

We held each other as we watched the passengers disembark. A modest amount of ponies walked off the train. Some of them carried small bags while others gathered and waited for their checked bags to be brought around by the porters. None of which acted like there was an insane amount of cargo on the train needing to be offloaded. A part of me was relieved by that. 

“It’s a magnificent world.” I rested my head on his shoulder as he squeezed me tighter. 

We watched for a minute or two until it seemed like all the passengers had left the train. No Princesses were to be seen, save for myself. There was no way we missed them. Three alicorn Princesses would be about as conspicuous as it gets.

“Huh, that’s weird.” Shining commented as my heart sank. Where were they? “I guess they got delayed and had to catch the next train.”

“Why didn’t they send a message?” I asked as the train hissed, releasing the built up steam in its engine. 

“Maybe they did.” Shining shrugged. “There could be a message back at the castle. I doubt Twilight would contact us directly with a scry spell just to say they had to get the next train. That would be overkill, even for her.” We both giggled at the thought. I imagined Twilight casting high level magic just to tell me she ran out of toothpaste.

Still, this was odd.  

We walked back to the castle, much more leisurely this time. If they had to come on a different train, or even wait until tomorrow, then we no longer had a tight schedule to keep. We decided to stop and chat with a few ponies along the way. Shining suggested we get a bite to eat while we were out and about, but I wanted to get back and relieve Pell. I didn’t want her to feel obligated to take over all of our parenting duties - even though I knew she enjoyed it.

Inside the castle, things were moving along with the normal amount of bustle. It was a relief to, for once, not be a part of that bustle. We just watched as ponies went about their business, diligently heading to their next task or appointment. 

“I bet she slept this whole time.” I sighed contentedly.

“Lucky her.” Shining echoed. “I could use a nap.”

I had a vivid image of the two of us snuggled in bed for an afternoon nap, Flurry Heart sleeping between us. Nothing sounded better.

“Adults are allowed to take naps too, ya know.” I reminded him. To which he smiled in return. It probably would take very little convincing to get him to lay down with us.

When we got to the nursery the door was wide open, and I instantly had the feeling that something was wrong. I darted inside with a quick leap.

“What’s wrong?” Shining asked as I stared frozen in place at Flurry Heart’s crib.

“Where is Pell?” I asked. The room was way too quiet. Even if the baby was sleeping, there shouldn’t be such an empty feeling in this room. The crib blanket was laying carelessly on the floor. I walked to the edge of the crib and looked down.

“Where’s Flurry Heart?” I yelled. My mind was already swimming in panic. 

“Woah, woah.” Shining placed his hooves on my shoulder as I turned to face him. My face must have looked terrified. “Calm down, everything is ok.”

“Where are they?” I asked, failing to keep my voice calm. 

“Pell must be somewhere else in the castle with Flurry Heart. Maybe they went for a walk?” Shining rubbed my back as I closed my eyes. I was overreacting. Everything was fine. Pell taking the baby somewhere else to feed or change or just run a quick errand wasn’t weird. Maybe she thought we were supposed to meet up in the dining hall once we came back with the Princesses from Equestria? 

“Cadance.” I felt Shining’s shoulder tense as he leaned over the empty crib. “There’s a note on the pillow.”

My heart sank into my stomach. Pell wouldn’t leave a written note behind in the baby’s crib. That was for sure strange and Shining knew it too. I couldn’t move. I couldn't speak. I watched silently as Shining picked up the note and started to read it. All of the color drained from his face, and I’m sure mine did the same right behind him.

“It says…” His eyes darted around as his brow twitched. As if he couldn’t believe what he was reading. “If you want to see your child again, meet me at the Crystal Cave under the mountain. You know which one. Come alone, just you and Shining Armor. If you tell or bring anypony else, there will be consequences.”

My heart stopped. My breath failed. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. I was having a nightmare, and I would wake up at any moment. My baby was gone. Kidnapped. The ‘me’ in the letter was glaringly obvious. Queen Chrysalis had taken her. No other could have done this. I felt the rage build up in the back of my brain. Anger washed over me, consuming my every thought and feeling. She had gone too far this time. After all the things she had done to me, she dared go after my innocent little baby? This was unforgivable. I was going to go back to that cave. The cave I hated and swore I wouldn’t return to. I was going to meet Chrysalis face to face, and this time only one of us was going to walk out of that cave. 

“I’ll get Captain Flash.” Shining’s cold military voice came out. He probably flipped a switch in his mind. Because if he allowed his thoughts to go the way mine were, he would already be talking about Chrysalis’ demise. “We’ll bring the whole army if we have to. She’s not going to get away with this-”

“No!” I screamed, and Shining looked surprised. “We have to go alone. We can’t tell anyone else.” I glared at him, trying my best not to direct the hate in my heart out through my eyes at him. 

“It’s a trap, Cadance. We’d be playing right into her hooves.”

“I know it’s a trap!” I yelled as I looked at the open nursery door. I activated my magic and slammed it shut. No one could hear what we were talking/yelling about. It had to be kept a secret. “But if we show up with an army, even if it’s just Flash, she may harm our baby.”

“It’s a bluff. She wouldn’t risk losing her bargaining chip-” I cut him off again. Unable to control my voice.

“Flurry Heart is not a bargaining chip.” I yelled as tears streamed down my cheek.

“Cadance…” Shining looked at me with pity in his eyes. The very last thing I wanted right now.

“She’s my child. And I won’t risk anything happening to her.”

“What do you suggest?” Shining asked, and my response probably scared me more than it scared him.

“I’m going to march straight into her trap, get my baby back, and drag her corpse through the streets of the capital as a warning to any who would think to try something like this again.”

Shining stood in stunned silence for a moment. He looked like he wanted to chastise my proposed brutality, or tell me my plan was foolish, and poorly thought out. However, the glint in his eye told me that he felt the same way. I was just willing to say it outloud. 

“I understand how you feel-” He began.

“Then let's get going.” I bluntly cut him off. 

He sighed, letting the weight on his shoulders out through his breath. “Flash is going to kill us.”

“Sounds like he’ll have to get in line.” I forced myself to grin with a crooked smile. If I succumbed to my emotions now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. I wouldn’t be able to fight. I wouldn’t be able to save my baby.

“Remind me never to get on your bad side.” Shining raised an eyebrow at me.

“Why, were you planning on it?” I retorted. He matched my crooked grin, and that was the end of the talking. We left the castle as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. We kept our pace casual until we got to the edge of the city, and away from suspicious eyes. 

Chrysalis had walked into our kingdom and captured Flurry Heart, and probably Pell as well. I know Pell would have put up a fight if they didn’t neutralize her before she could sound an alarm. There hadn’t been Changeling check points for months. She must have disguised herself and easily walked into the castle. Which instantly made me angrier, at myself more than anyone. We had gotten soft and complacent during a year of her truce. She honored it for so long that we took it for granted. We had been successfully lulled into a false sense of security, and now we were paying the price. 

Shining couldn’t fly, so that limited how fast we could move. I would occasionally take to the sky to look around and make sure we weren’t being followed or approached. We passed the point where the forest broke, and the gravely roads led to the cliff base of the Crystal Mountains. This was where we fought the Changelings when we rescued Flash and the others from captivity. It was the last time that we won a battle with the Changelings, and Chrysalis wasn’t even there. We would have to beat her for good this time. Her reign of terror had to come to an end. 

We got to the mouth of the cave. No sign of any Changelings. No army came to meet us. Shining wasn’t wearing his armor, and had no spear. We feared that weapons would provoke the Queen. If this was indeed a trap, and we were surrounded, a single spear was not going to get us out of this. 

The cave was just as unsettling as I remembered it. Every shift of the shimmering reflected light told my mind there was a Changeling at the corner of my eyesight. We stayed on our guard as we marched deeper into the cave. 

“Shining.” I stopped suddenly, and he turned to face me. “Whatever happens, I love you. And I always will.”

“Cadance…” He struggled to find the words for himself. He probably didn’t want to come across as a fatalist. I decided to assure him that I wasn’t either.

“You saved me.” I reached my hoof out and he took it into his. “You once said that when you took Cadance back from this cave, that you failed to save her. But I want you to know that you did save me. You gave me my life back. You made me fall in love with you. Even if I never get my memories back, I have no regrets. And you shouldn’t either.”

“I love you too, Cadance.” He nodded as he squeezed my hoof. “Nothing will ever change that. Everything is going to be alright. We are leaving here together with Flurry Heart. I won’t let anything happen to either of you. No goodbyes.”

“No goodbyes.” I repeated.

We walked hoof in hoof until we reached the big open room where I had been taken captive. Where we fought the Changelings, and bargained for Flash’s release in exchange for one of their Changelings. There would be no exchange today. Someone was going home the victor, and someone was going to lose everything. With Shining by my side, I knew I couldn’t fail.

The big open room was nearly empty except for one pony. 

“Hello, darling.” I watched as another me stood up on the pedestal where the twin slabs were next to the towering orbs. There I was standing over us, looking down, sneering. It was my tri-colored hair, my crown, my pink body fur, and my face. A mirror image. Did Chrysalis use my face to kidnap Flurry Heart? If so, why keep up the disguise? Unless to mess with us?

“No games, Chrysalis!” Shining let go of my hoof as he barked at the pony who looked exactly like me. “We know it’s you. What have you done with my daughter?”

“Oh, you mean the halfling?” Cadance, this fake Cadance, said ‘halfling’ in a way that enraged me. “She’s fine, don’t worry about her. We have so much to talk about. So much to catch up on, dear.” 

“Don’t you dare call me that!” He snapped at her. “We know you’re not Cadance, so just drop the disguise already.”

“Oh darling, you’re confused.” Her cheek twisted into a perverted grin that I prayed I was incapable of making. “I am the real Cadance.” 

 “And… that…” She pointed directly at me. “Is Queen Chrysalis!”

It was impossible, maddening, insane. An obvious lie that couldn’t possibly be true.

So why did I instantly believe her?  





****
             
> Chapter 20
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t wanna hear it, Chrysalis.” Shining sneered up at the pink colored pony who looked exactly like me. “I don’t know if you think we’re stupid, or if you’re just taunting us. Either way, this charade ends now. What have you done with Flurry Heart? Where is my child?” Shining’s voice started to break as he said “child.” He took a moment to recompose himself, rolling his shoulders back and straightening his posture. 

Chrysalis, the pink look alike, dropped her smile. She stared long and hard at Shining as if she was considering something. Her impassioned glare in his direction made me uncomfortable, jealous even. 

Her voice dropped the bravado. “Do you remember what happened here a year ago?” She looked from him to me, her features contorted with rage as her eyes rested on me. “When you and Twilight…” she mimed air quotes, “‘rescued Cadence’ from this cave?”

“I remember you were doing some sort of fiendish experiment on Cadance.” Shining stomped his hoof in protest.

“And what experiment was that?” She asked him plainly, catching him off guard for a moment.

“Uh… well…” He looked like he was thinking really hard. “It wasn’t good, whatever it was.”

“Oh, honey.” She shook her head with genuine pity in her eyes. “You’ve always been so stupid. Sweet and obnoxiously cute. But really stupid.” The fact that she sounded sincere made her insults more enraging to me.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Chrysalis.” Shining fired back with a satisfied grin on his face, bouncing off her insults like they were nothing.

“Oh ho ho.” The lookalike brought her hoof to her face in fake surprise. “He’s got jokes now. Chrysalis taught you to have a little bit of spice.”

“Stop.” Shining paused after every word, emphasizing his point with audible frustration. “Calling. Her. Chrysalis.”

“Did you really never bother to ask, ‘why was she doing an experiment?’” This Cadance ignored his demand, moving on. “What was the goal? What was she trying to do?”

“Essence manipulation.” I spoke quietly.

“Oh she has a voice after all.” She looked at me amused. “That’s a pretty good memory you have there.”

“I have no memory of what happened that day.” My words felt flat and unconvincing to me. “You took my memories from me.” 

“So you say. How do we know you’re telling the truth?” She asked, but turned back to Shining before either of us could answer. “Believe me, or don’t. But I have no reason to lie. Chrysalis was trying to swap our essences. She wanted access to my magic and essence so that she could replace me.”

“You lie.” Shining hissed.

The fake Cadence shrugged. The gesture was so flippant and carefree, like she didn’t care if we believed her. Which only made my resolve weaken. 

Shining and I glanced at each other. Both of us were stunned, and unsure of what to say. It was an unbelievable, elaborate lie. It had to be. Yet I saw in Shining’s eyes something I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Doubt.

“The experiment was halfway done.” This Cadance went on to explain. “Our essences were intermixed with each other. Her evil plan was working. That’s when you and Twilight showed up and shut the experiment down.”

I looked over at the orb that had been cracked. The patchwork was obvious, but it had definitely been repaired. 

“When Twilight shattered the orb above Chrysalis’s side…” She gestured to the marble slab on the right. “The built up energy backfired into Chrysalis, knocking her unconscious.”

“This isn’t real.” Shining shook his head, refusing to look at either her or me. “This is a lie. Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just leave us alone?” He covered his head with his hooves, as if to try and block out any incoming information.

I wish I had words to comfort him. To take away his doubt. But it felt like I was finally hearing the right side of the story for the first time. 

“This is as real as it gets, Shining.” There was no joy or revelry on her face. If she was being deceptive, she was hiding it very well. The ease at which she told the story only made it feel more true. 

“Especially what you did to me next.” She sneered.

“No.” Shining’s blank eyes stared at the gravelly cave floor.

“So you do remember.” I heard the pain in her voice as she went on. “I was strapped to that slab on the left, scared and alone. I felt her essence invading me, violating me, as a part of me was being stolen away. All of her anger, her hatred, her evil infected me. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t control it. I started screaming, and cursing. I thrashed about in my restraints, while she laid peacefully unconscious on her side.”

“This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.” I could hear the wavering in Shining’s voice. Skepticism was infecting both of us. I didn’t know what to believe. 

“You and Twilight mistook me for Chrysalis, because of my condition.” Her voice was breaking. Downright quivering. “I tried to explain what was happening to you, but you called me a liar.” She started crying. I wanted to say it was fake, and accuse her of crocodile tears. But I was frozen in place. I watched myself cry and it felt real.

“You threatened me.” Her face contorted with every word. “You cast me out. You told me that if I didn’t leave you would… you would…” She paused as more tears trickled down her face. 

She sucked in a deep breath, gnashing her teeth together and rearing up. “The experiment was a success!” 

She pointed at me, causing me to startle. “You brought home the monster, and nursed her back to health. She replaced me. She stole my life. She took over the Crystal Empire just as she planned all along. You fell for it. And now you have a bastard child with her! That child should be ours, Shining. Not hers!”

Shining glared up at her. He looked like he wanted to argue back. Take offense to his daughter being called a ‘bastard.’ In the end he just stood there.

“I had to do something.” She shook her head as a few tears flung from her cheek and fell to her hooves. “I couldn’t stay silent in exile any longer. Once I learned you had a child… our child… with that monster… I couldn’t stand it.” 

She receded into herself a bit. Wings drooping to hug herself.  “I’m sorry for taking drastic measures, but…” She held her hoof out towards Shining. Practically reaching for him. “...I had lost you. Truly lost you. I was holding out hope that you would wake up and realize that something was wrong. That you’d come to me eventually. Realize that she was a fake but…”

Something was off, besides the obvious. She was trying to guilt him into taking her back. But even if what she was saying was true? It was her who attacked the capital. She was working with the Changelings. That had to be true. Who else could that have been in the tower by the Crystal Heart?

I closed my eyes and focused on my connection to the Crystal Heart. Did you know? I asked him as anger filled my mind.

Answer me! I demanded. He gave me no response other than the feeling of sadness in his essence. 

“Stop. Wait a minute.” Shining stood up tall, definitely raising his head. “None of this makes any sense.” Hope filled my heart as he regained his composure. “We had Changeling checkpoints in place for months. If she was Chrysalis, we would have detected her hundreds of times by now.” He glared up at her. Not falling prey to her sob story. To her lies.

Please let it be lies.

“I can explain that.” Twilight Sparkle walked out of the cave corridor. She walked past us and joined the other Cadance on the raised platform. 

“Twilie?” Shining looked up at her stunned.

“We were tricked, Shining.” She shook her head and looked down at her perplexed brother. 

“We fell for her lies!” Twilight pointed at me. All of the hatred she had ever expressed for Queen Chrysalis was beamed at me through her gaze. Her hateful wrinkled brow gaze. I instinctively took a big step back. This was the Princess of Friendship’s rage directed at me. I had every right to be afraid. 

“I don’t understand…” Shining began to ask, but Twilight continued.

“The Changeling test is flawed. It wasn’t really a Changeling test at all.” Her words were cold and calculated, like she was trying to hold back her emotions by giving a dry lecture.

“We don’t know much about Changeling anatomy, so a proper magic test would be quite cumbersome, and difficult to teach and replicate.” She stood side by side with the new Cadance like partners. Did Twilight help kidnap my baby? 

“It’s much easier to just test for a pony essence. That’s all the magic test is. It detects a pony’s essence. And since the experiment mixed their essences together, both of them would pass a Changeling test. Observe.” Twilight activated her magic as violet haze quickly scanned over the other Cadance.

“She’s clear.” The Cadence didn’t even look smug about it. In fact, she looked downright heartbroken.

Twilight turned her horn to me and activated her magic again. I wanted to run. Her eyes said she wanted to attack me. The haze covered my body for a moment, and the test was over before I could even think about it too hard.

“Also clear.” Twilight shook her head. “At least as far as the test can tell.”

Shining looked at me with fear and confusion in his eyes. The suspicion he regarded me with stung, but I had a bigger burning question I needed answered.

“Twilight, where is Flurry Heart?” I heard the panic in my voice.

“The baby?” Twilight looked confused. “She’s back at the castle.”

“She told us that she was holding Flurry Heart hostage and that we had better come alone, or else.” I pointed at the other Cadance. I didn’t have a defense or counter theory to what they were saying. I couldn’t remember anything from before I woke up in the Crystal Castle. I could actually be Chrysalis and not know. I could have been anyone. Was I really this creature that I had come to hate so much? Whatever the truth was, I had to know if my child was safe. Nothing else mattered to me, even if I was the fraud they said I was. I had to make sure she was safe first.

“Cadance?” Twilight stared perplexed at her.

“I- I panicked.” Her eyes darted between Twilight and Shining. “I just wanted to make sure they showed up. I needed the collateral. Or, at least, the threat of collateral.”

“You told them you kidnapped their baby?” Twilight looked hurt by Cadance’s actions, and she responded in kind to neutralize the situation.

“It was reckless of me. I shouldn't have done that.” She rubbed her head with her hoof like she had a headache. “I’ve just been through so much this last year. I must not be thinking straight.”

“It’s alright, Cadance. You didn’t mean any harm.” Twilight smiled and rubbed her shoulder. Couldn’t she hear it? The fake hurt in her voice? It was so obvious to me that she was playing it up. Covering for doing something truly messed up, and Twilight was buying all of it.

“She’s at the castle?” Shining’s eyes glimmered with hope.

“Yes.” Twilight confirmed. “We took Pellucid into custody, and moved the baby to another room. She’s being looked after. I promise.”

“What?” I cried, shocked at what Twilight said. “Why? What did Pell do?”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed at me. “She’s your accomplice. She’s known who you really are the whole time, and helped keep you under cover.”

“Pell?” I asked openly. She knew who I really was? When? How?

“I don’t buy it.” Shining declared.

“Shining-” Twilight began but he interrupted.

“You say we were fooled, but how do we know that Chrysalis isn’t fooling you?” He accused his sister. 

“What?” Twilight looked offended. Cadance scrunched her face like an indignant child.

“I think Chrysalis is using Cadance’s memory loss to confuse us. Make us doubt. Remember, she wanted to replace Cadance, right?” He pointed at the other Cadance. “Well making us think you’re the real Cadance is one way to do that.” The irony of what he was saying was not lost on me.

“So you want proof?” The other Cadance grinned, her smugness returned. “Then let's prove it.” She pointed to the repaired orb.

“Twilight and I fixed the equipment, and figured out how to use the device.” She and Twilight nodded at each other. 

“It’s actually a brilliant machine. Evil, but brilliant.” Twilight explained. “As long as we set it to reverse the swap, and let the machine finish completely…” She blushed a little at that. “It should be perfectly safe. After all, it was designed by an essence manipulation expert.”

Me. Chrysalis. Cadance and I were the premiere experts in essence manipulation. At least I would be if I could remember. 

“We already have proof.” Shining spoke up again. “Cadance has a magical bond with the Crystal Heart. There’s no way Chrysalis could do that.” His words were confident. 

“I’m sorry, Shining. I know this is tough to hear. But that’s also where she’s manipulated you.” Twilight stared at him with pity. “Chrysalis has half of Cadance’s essence in her. The Crystal Heat isn’t a living thinking being. It would be as easily tricked as the Changeling test.”

Not alive my ass I thought, making sure the Crystal Heart heard me. 

“But-” Shining started, but the other Cadance jumped in.

“It’s true.” She shook her head as if it were just a darn shame. “I would know. My connection has dimmed because she tricked the Heart with my essence.”

I glared long and hard at the other Cadance, the other me, until she also met my eyes. She knew as well as I did that the Crystal Heart was alive. It’s power given freely. But, anything that made me look good was inconvenient for her. She was willing to blatantly lie to them to get her way. I saw the hidden, knowing grin as she looked at me. It was my word against hers, and arguing about the Crystal Heart wouldn’t get us anywhere. We needed hard proof here and now.

“I’m willing to prove who I am at anytime.” The other Cadance declared. “Let’s see who is really lying.”

“This is insane.” Shining stepped forward. “I don’t want to subject Cadance to that awful machine again. I don’t want to make her go through that. I-”

“Shining.” Twilight interrupted. “She either goes on the platform willingly or… well, let’s not have it come to that.”

He looked at me with hesitation. He knew what I was about to say and it already upset him. 

“I’ll do it.” I said to Twilight and the other Cadance. “Let’s settle this once and for all.”

“Cadance…” Saying that name held so much reverence for him. I walked over to him, and caressed his cheek. He leaned his head into my touch.

“I know it’s not true.” He said, kissing my hoof. “I believe you.”

“Shining.” I began and he looked into my eyes. “Whatever happens, I love you. Please know that I genuinely and truly do. I love our daughter and the life we’ve had together this past year. Whatever happens, that will never change and I will always be grateful.” I felt my own eyes tearing up.

“Cadance?” That name again. 

I let go of him to walk up the raised platform. His eyes were too full of fear and doubt. I couldn’t look at him. I had to stare forward at the other Cadance, and then Twilight, and then the slab. I quietly laid myself on the slab and looked up at the cave ceiling. The stalactites stared back at me like eyes watching, judging our experiment. 

“Cadance, are you sure you want to do this?” Twilight’s loving, and concerned voice asked.

“Yes.” I replied out of habit.

“I was talking to her.” Twilight’s condemning tone cut into me. The other Cadance laid down on the slab to my left.

“Don’t worry, Twilight.” Cadance’s overly saccharine tone annoyed me. “I promise everything will be ok.” I watched as Twilight took Cadance’s hoof into hers to comfort her. No one stood by my side to comfort me. Shining looked frozen in place where he stood, trapped between two worlds. His doubts were just enough to make him keep a cautious distance. 

“Activate it.” Cadance commanded. 

Twilight hesitated one last time before her horn lit up with a gentle purple glow. I watched as the orbs filled with light. It was so bright I had to shield my face from their powerful radiance. As my eyes adjusted, I stared up at the spectacle. What looked like an emerald lightning bolt arced between the two orbs. The orb on my side was discolored in the places it was repaired. Would it hold? Would it shatter over me again, killing me this time? If it turned out I was Queen Chrysalis, the source of all our pain, the bane of me and Shining, and Twilight, and the Crystal empire, would I even want to wake up again?

A nauseating feeling overtook me as what felt like my soul leaving my body evacuated up to the glowing orb. It filled with a cloudy pink mist. The other orb filled with a similar mist that was emerald green. My essence was diminished. I could feel that half of me was gone. It floated above me in this unnatural, wicked machine. Had I built this? Was I truly that wicked?

My body jolted involuntarily as something new forced its way into my being. It filled the empty half of my essence with something dark and hideous. To my chagrin, it was also familiar. Then the emotions hit me. It was like the opposite of being drained. Powerful emotions pierced their way into my head. I felt like my mind would explode. So much anger and resentment flooded into my essence. Was this truly me? Is this who I was?

As if answering my own question, the memories began swarming into my consciousness. The locked away, forbidden parts of me that were missing suddenly came back in force. And it horrified me. 

I remembered my hive. A cavalcade of tunnels and chambers, built up into asymmetrical spires. Changelings filled every corner of these halls. They were my Changelings, my children. Flurry Heart wasn’t my first born, not by far. I tried to think of her. Focus on my new baby, but the onslaught of memories were too much to ignore. I saw Canterlot Castle, and a wedding taking place in the great chamber. There I was standing next to Shining Armor. His eyes were glazed over from a stupefying love spell that I had cast on him. I saw my Changelings attacking the city on my command. I saw everything. More than I wanted to ever see or know.

I was Queen Chrysalis. I was the Changeling Queen. This was not my body. This was not my home. I had planned everything. I disguised myself as Cadance and captured her. I brought her to this cave to steal her essence and take her place. I wanted to take over the Crystal Empire from the inside so that my Changelings, my children, could feed on their love, and never go hungry again. To fill up the terrifying curse that forced us to feed on others. A curse that could be satisfied, but never satiated. A sickness with no cure. We never asked for this curse, this hunger. Yet someone had to lead us. Someone had to ensure our survival, and that someone was me. I loved my hivelings, and I would do anything to keep them safe and fed. Even if it meant tormenting and terrifying unsuspecting populations. I had rationalized it for years, my entire life. I believed that we did what we had to do. That it was right. That all of these lesser species we consumed deserved it. We deserved their love as food. How dare they live and love alike? How dare they get to have a happy and fulfilling life that we were denied? Why shouldn’t we take everything from them? The whole world was ours. It was mine. Everything was mine and I would stop at nothing to obtain it.

I was a monster. 





****

> Chapter 21
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remembered my Changeling magic. I had dawned this disguise a year ago, and because of my unique Queen anatomy and terrible power, I could hold this form indefinitely if I needed to. The spell wouldn’t run out, unless I commanded it so. 

I commanded it now. I dropped my false image, as my pink fur evaporated off of me, replaced by black greasy hooves filled with holes. My beautiful feathered alicorn wings exploded into transparent insect-like wings. I felt my smooth and elegant unicorn horn twist and contort into a long bent and mangled monstrosity. My herbivore pony teeth stretched and sharpened in my mouth as my cuspids extended into the long pointy fangs of a predator. My beautiful symmetric hair and body, the body I had been accustomed to for a year, the only body I knew, twisted into something horrible and corrupt.

Except it wasn’t new. This was my real body. As the life I had forgotten invaded my mind, taking back its home, everything about me that was clean and comfortable became borrowed. The me that I thought I was turned out to be fake. My biggest fear was true. I was a fraud. Everything I had been and done in my previous life was all that I had come to hate. I was something else. Something wicked.

The Crystal Heart was wrong about me.

I levitated myself up above the slab. I stood on my real hooves for the first time in a year. I was taller than before. I looked down at the faces of the ponies in the cave with me. Twilight’s face was full of righteous indignation. Cadance, the real Cadance, looked upon me with disgust. Yet, she also had a satisfied smugness to her. She had finally won, and gotten her revenge.

I think it can get much worse than you can possibly imagine. She had told me during the raid on the Crystal Capital. I couldn’t see her at the time through the magical darkness. A darkness she had cast. An assault she had commanded against her own ponies. She had kept my secret, waiting for the biggest possible moment to hurt me the most.

And hurt me she did. My eyes glanced over to Shining Armor. The betrayal on his face was a dagger in my heart. I had fooled him. Lied to him. Even after my memories went missing, I was still carrying out my original mission. I had used him, and his eyes told me he knew.

“You!” he hissed at me.

“Shining, I…” 

What could I say? What could I do? There was no explanation for what I had done. No rationalization that would make it ok. 

“You were Queen Chrysalis the whole time?” He leaped up onto the raised platform, joining Twilight and the real Cadance’s side. “Everything you said. Everything you’ve done. It was just an act. I believed you. I trusted you!” He screamed as his voice echoed down the cave halls. 

“Shining.” I looked down at my husband. The stallion I had fallen in love with. “It wasn’t like that. Not since I woke up. Not after I lost my memories. This last year, it was all real. I meant every word. I lo-”

“Don’t you dare say it!” Shining interrupted me, and I could feel an ever gaping hole in my essence. “You have no right to say that. What kind of creature are you? What sort of monster would pretend like that for so long? You make me sick!” He cursed, sapping the strength out of my legs. I wobbled on all fours as I pleaded with him.

“You loved me a minute ago. I’m still the same person. I may look different, but nothing has changed…” He cut in to deal a death blow.

“I never loved you. I love Cadance. You’re Chrysalis. You’ve tried to ruin my life, and here you are doing it again. I hate you!”

My legs failed me and I was no longer able to stand. I collapsed on the slab, awkwardly splayed out on my front hooves, as if wounded in battle. I had no energy to move. No strength to fight.

“Shining…” I said aloud to no one. I had never felt so empty and alone. 

“Please.” 

“Shining.” I heard my voice repeat. Except it wasn’t my voice. Not anymore. My voice was deeper now. Much more resonate. 

Cadance swooped in on Shining as he regarded me with shock and horror on his face. Her gleeful, toothy smile boiled the bile in my gut. I wished I could knock those teeth out of her mouth.

“Shining, it's me.” She whispered in his ear. “I’m here. I’m alive. Everything is going to be ok.” 

I could hear the greed and perverted joy in her voice. Had she no empathy for what he was going through? 

She tried to put her hoof around him. “I need a moment.” Shining said, taking a step away from her touch. She looked surprised, but let him stand off by himself.

“Look what you did to him!” Cadance barked at me. “You made him like this. He can’t even trust his real wife because of your lies.”

I couldn’t argue. I didn’t think what she was saying was right, but I had no defense for myself. I was trying to replace her. I was trying to use him. The fact that I lost my memory was all too convenient. It didn’t change who I was or what I had done. Did it even matter if I ever loved him? Was the person I was this last year even real? Would I go back to the way I was?

The rage was swimming in my mind. All of the resentment and hatred of the evil Queen was still in me. Was it a matter of time before I turned back into the person I was before? Maybe my guilt was the last vestige of the pony I tried to be. A fleeting memory of someone I might have been if given the chance. I didn’t deserve love or happiness. I didn’t deserve him. I deserved to-

Chrysalis. A kind male voice spoke in my mind. 

Crystal Heart! I cried down my mental connection to him. So I could still talk to him. Did he have to initiate it? 

Did you know? I demanded of him.

Of course I knew. He admitted. There was none of the usual play or banter in his voice. 

Why didn’t you tell me? I asked. If a person can cry in their mind, then I was crying in front of him. 

Would you have believed me if I did? He asked, and I didn’t want to answer him. 

I’m sorry. Was all I could think to say.

Sorry for what?

For everything I’ve done. For the person I was. For all the pain I’ve caused. I can’t be forgiven. I don’t deserve-” He interrupted.

I told you, when you doubt yourself, you doubt me.

But how can I possibly be forgiven? What could I ever do to make it right? He thought for a moment. Or at least, he was quiet in my mind.

Forgiveness doesn’t come easy. Sometimes not at all. When I made the decision to bond with you, I knew who you were. I knew what you had done in the past. I did not make that decision lightly.

Why did you make it at all? I couldn’t stop doubting myself. Now I was openly doubting him.

Worthiness is not a resume, or a list of deeds. It is who you are now, and who you are willing to be. You said that you wanted to save everyone. The Crystal Ponies and the Changelings. You are uniquely equipped to do exactly that. That’s why I made the decision I did. Did I make the right decision, Chrysalis? Are you willing to do whatever it takes?

The world darkened around me as I spoke with the Crystal Heart. I was aware of the other ponies in the cave, but they seemed so distant. It was a small comfort considering the circumstances. I knew they were talking to each other, maybe even to me, but all I could think about was what the Crystal Heart was trying to tell me.

What do I have to do to save them? 

I have no answers. I knew he was going to say that. What do you think needs to be done? I knew he was going to ask that. Everything was up to me. Somehow I had to figure it out. 

I must pay the price for the terrible things I have done. Saying that filled me with dread, yet it was also a relief. I couldn’t run from my past. All I could do was own up to it. I am the evil Queen of the Changelings. I can’t undo that.

You’ve been Chrysalis. You’ve been Cadance. Who you are now is up to you. Good luck my friend. I could sense his presence slinking out of the recesses of my mind. He was going silent again.

Wait! How do I-? I started to ask, but the conversation in the cave caught my attention again.

“She’s too dangerous to be allowed to leave.” Twilight pointed at me. They were talking about me as if I wasn’t there. 

“We should have her turned to stone and placed in the Canterlot Gardens as a statue.” Cadance suggested. It wasn’t an idle threat. Other beings who had attacked Equestria suffered the same fate, and were now permanent stone residents of Canterlot. A fate much crueler than a prison cell. Maybe crueler than death. 

“Chrysalis.” Twilight said through gritted teeth. “There’s three of us and one of you. If you try to resist we’ll-”

“I’ll go with you.” I surrendered before she could threaten me. The pony who once called me sister. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Oh…” Twilight’s eyes went wide in surprise. “Very well.” Her eyes darted. She was clearly not expecting it to be so easy. 

“My only request, if you’d grant it, Princess? I’d like to stand trial before I’m punished.” I said directly to Twilight. A glimmer of softness broke through her expression before suspicion furrowed her brow again. 

“Hah!” Cadance scoffed. “You think you can somehow prove your innocence?” 

“Why?” Twilight asked, although her tone wasn’t malicious. 

“I want to hear my crimes spoken out loud. Each and every one of them. However long it takes. I need to know, so that I can admit to them.” My eyes skipped over Cadance and landed on Shining Armor. He looked away from me, trying to hide some sort of realization on his face. 

“I-if that’s what you want.” Twilight looked downright confused as she spoke. “That can certainly be arranged. A trial would be more proper anyway.”

“It’s a trick!” Cadance startled Twilight with her outburst. “Whatever you’re planning, Chrysalis, it’s not going to work. And I’ll be sure to make you regret whatever stunt you try and pull.” She walked right up to the edge of the slab. I hadn’t left it since I transformed. Since I was revealed for who I truly was. “In fact, you’re gonna be regretting a lot more than that.”

“Cadance.” Twilight moved next to Cadance and placed her hoof on her sister in law’s shoulder. Her real sister. “There’s no need to be nasty if she’s going to cooperate.” Twilight turned to look at me with a cold, neutral face. After all the glaring I had received, it was practically a smile by comparison. 

“Queen Chrysalis.” Twilight took in a breath. “You’re under arrest for crimes against Equestria, and the Crystal Empire. I’m going to place a restraining spell around you so that-”

“Miss Cadance?” A familiar voice interrupted from down the cave corridor. The path that led to the outside. “Miss Cadance, are you in here? We’ve been looking everywhere for-”

Two Changelings burst into the chamber. They stopped in their tracks as soon as they saw me. I knew both of them. They were my boys. My precious sons.

“Thorax, Pharynx.” I turned my back to Twilight and the others. Thorax’s jaw dropped to the floor. Pharynx was still, but his face looked conflicted. 

“M-mother?” Thorax’s mouth quivered as he spoke. “Is it really you?”

I smiled for the first time since I entered this cave. I nodded at him, too emotional to properly express my thoughts. He cautiously approached my slab on the raised platform. 

“Do you…” He swallowed, afraid to ask his question. “Do you remember me? Are you-”

“Yes Thorax, I remember everything. My poor brave youngling.” I reached my hoof out in his direction, and he leaped at the invitation.

“Mother!” He charged the slab I was sitting on, and dove into my arms as I wrapped his head into my bosom. Tears of joy streamed down his face before he started babbling on and on. “Oh mother, I missed you so much. Miss Cadance said you lost your memories, and that’s why you left us. I wanted to tell you when I first saw you here, but she said it would just confuse you and make things worse. So I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t know what to do and…” He caught his breath for a second as I rubbed my hole ridden hoof through his greasy mane. 

“Please don’t ever leave us again.” He squeezed me tighter. “We didn’t know what to do without you, and Miss Cadance tried to help us but…”

“Princess Cadance helped you?” I raised my eyebrow, as I looked over at the pony trio. They had backed away when Thorax rushed the platform. Twilight and Shining both looked at Cadance. She was standing between the two of them as she took a defensive step back. 

Changelings began pouring into the room. Soon a good portion of my hive was here with me. This time they appeared to be on my side.

"You knew who I was when we spoke before? After we fought..." As soon as the words left my lips I gasped. I had battled against my own children. Oh my god, what had I done? 

“What do you mean the Princess helped you?” I asked Thorax gently, trying to cleanse the memory of attacking my own children from my mind.

“I-it’s not true.” Cadance’s head rapidly went back and forth between Twilight and Shining. She summoned tears that I was sure were fake. “They kidnapped me! I was their prisoner.” 

She wrapped her hooves around Shining’s shoulder, causing my eye to involuntarily twitch. “Oh Shining, I was so terrified. I finally got away from them. They were horrible and mistreated me.”

Shining stared at the mare attached to his arm. His brow wrinkled as he seemed to be unsure of what was going on. Good. He was no fool. He had to realize that something was off about her. 

“Cadance, I’m so sorry we-” Twilight began when Pharynx of all people jumped in.

“Liar!” He flew next to my slab, pointing at Cadance. “You were no prisoner. We welcomed you into our hive when our Queen abandoned us.”

“Pharynx…” I didn’t realize he felt that way, but I suppose it made sense. I left them alone for over a year. I had abandoned them to go and steal a new family, and risked losing them both in the process.

“Your own kind cast you aside.” Pharynx continued. Twilight looked away in shame. Shining stood like an unreadable statue with a lying harlot on his arm. 

“Just as we had been cast aside, we fed you, gave you a home, and protected you. We needed a Queen, a leader. Thorax and I were too young, too inexperienced to lead the hive. So we let you lead us. You were our hive Queen. Our surrogate mother. And this is how you repay our kindness? After a year, you disappeared without a word to rejoin your kin. Now you dare deny us with your wicked tongue?”

“Cadance?” Twilight’s eyes looked at Cadance in horror, as her mouth dropped. “You were acting as their… their…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. Her fragile little sister demeanor had surfaced.

“I-it’s not true.” Cadance, seeing that Shining was a dead end at the moment, turned her attention to schmooze Twilight instead. “They kept me locked up. They threatened me, they… they… tortured me!” 

Twilight gasped at the torture cherry on top of Cadance’s sundae of lies. Shining narrowed his eyes in anger as he looked over at Pharynx. I could almost read his thoughts. He wanted to believe that Pharynx tortured his poor wife. It was easier to hate him. To crave revenge on the Changelings. Because the alternative was too painful for Shining to consider. 

Cadance began crying a little too loudly.

“You monsters!” Twilight turned her rage filled expression onto Pharynx. He was about to rebut Twilight, when I decided it was time to be a Queen to my hive once more.

“Tortured you say?” Confidence returned to my deep and resonant voice, with perhaps a tinge of amusement. This was going to take some getting used to. “You don’t appear to have been tortured.” I looked up and down her immaculate pony figure. 

“Don’t listen to them, Twilight.” Cadance grabbed Twilight’s hoof with her own, and she cautiously accepted. “They’re trying to trick us again. She played the role of Princess for a year. All they know is deceit and lies.”

“There are no visible injuries on you.” I continued before Cadance could say anything else banal. “If you had been their prisoner, they would have kept you in a stasis cocoon. Periodically cracking you open to feed on your love energy. You clearly haven’t been drained anytime recently, not to mention your mane and fur are in pristine shape. Which the cocoon fluid would have absolutely ruined. Did Pell fix you up before kidnapping my newborn foal?” I raised my brow at her, not afraid to let the sarcasm drip from my voice. 

I no longer dreaded my own past sins. I was ready and willing to face them, and I’d be damned if I didn’t make sure Cadance faced hers as well.

“I didn’t kidnap your halfling brat!” She spit out with venom. Her true nature leaked into the persona she was trying to present. 

“Sorry.” I held up my hoof in apology. “I meant lie about kidnaping my child to black mail us into meeting you here. But let’s not argue about semantics.” I grimaced at her. 

“No I’m sorry, Chrysalis.” Twilight stomped her hoof in protest on the crystal cave floor. “But I believe Cadance. I made the mistake of not believing her last year when you actually kidnapped her. I’m not about to make the same mistake all over again.” 

“I’m so sorry, Cadance.” Twilight caught her eye. “I- we really messed up. I’m so sorry about what happened to you. You’re my sister in…” Twilight caught herself. “...My sister. And I failed you.” She hung her head in shame.

Cadance placed her hoof under Twilight’s chin and brought her eyes back to meet her smiling face. 

“Oh, Twilight.” Cadance looked down at Twilight with all of the love and tenderness she could muster. “You know I forgive you. I just want to go home. I want to go back to my life, my kingdom, my family.”

Twilight and Cadance hugged each other, and I could feel the incalculable rage surface up the back and sides of my head. 

“This is nonsense!” I pointed at the pretty pink faker. “You attacked your own ponies. You turned on the Crystal Empire, and sacked the castle you claim to call home.” Twilight and Cadance wanted to argue back, but I didn’t let them interrupt me. I was too full of rage to not be heard. 

“If I’ve been at the Crystal Capital for a year, then who led the attack on the Capital on the night of the Crystal Fair, or on all those unsuspecting villages? It was you!” I hissed and Cadance wrinkled her nose in disgust. She started to bare her teeth at me, but brought her face back to normal when Twilight took notice of her expression. 

“You may have been acting as Princess during the attack.” Twilight’s Princess voice returned with her confidence. Defending the ones she loved brought her courage out. “But that doesn’t mean that Cadance led the attack.” She gestured to Pharynx. “He may say that the hive required a Queen, but that doesn’t make it true. There’s no evidence she was there.”

“Which is why you cast magical darkness before the attack.” I looked behind me at all of my children watching quietly and obediently. One word from me and they would envelop these three ponies. They looked like a wave of black shadows in the low light. The pony trio had enough power to put up a fight, but our overwhelming forces would be too much. Even for Twilight. 

“You needed to make sure there was no evidence of your betrayal.” I looked back at Cadance and Twilight. Shining Armor’s ears perked up, as he glanced over at me for the first time since he told me he hated me. Those words were still an open wound on my heart. 

“I was there in the Crystal Heart chamber.” I spoke through gritted teeth. “I couldn’t see you, but I heard your taunts. You gloated over your victory. You spoke of getting your revenge on me, the Crystal Empire, and Shining Armor.”

Shining looked over at Cadance, and then back to me. The confusion and hesitation on his face was palpable. The air was dead as we sat in awkward silence for a moment.

“It’s your word versus mine.” Cadance finally said with a twisted, crooked grin. “And everypony knows what the word of the Queen of the Changeling’s is worth.”

“You were there.” Shining finally spoke up. “You were at the Capital during the assault.” Cadance’s eyes bulged with fear. She had made a mistake. There was a witness besides me in the Crystal Heart chamber. She was the reason he was up there at all. She made the Changelings carry him up there.

“Shining, what are you saying?” Twilight demanded, looking hurt by her brother’s words. 

“I remember everything.” Shining rubbed his mane as he stared at the gravelly floor. “I was laying in the Crystal Heart chamber. I was blind and drained. I couldn’t feel anything.” He looked up and glared at Cadance. His eyes narrowed as he stared down his dear old wife. Emphasis on ‘old.’ 

“But I could hear two voices. They were the same voice. I didn’t think about it at the time, because I was emotionless. Empty. Nothing mattered to me.” His bottom lip quivered as an awful realization dawned on him. 

“I heard you.” He said so quietly, he could barely be heard. Cadance’s shocked expression said she heard him loud and clear. “I heard everything you said to…” his eyes darted to me, then back to Cadance. “...Chrysalis. She’s telling the truth, Twilight.”

“No!” Cadance screamed as her face contorted.

“What?” Twilight looked like she might break into tears. 

“Cadance lead the attack on the Capital.” Shining pointed at Cadance, cementing his accusation. “Cadance has been acting as the Changeling Queen for a year.”

“Shining.” Twilight’s voice cracked. “Think about what you’re saying. That can’t be true. This is Cadance we’re talking about. She would never betray her own family. Her kingdom. This all must be just Changeling deceit and lies. It has to be. There…”

“Twilie.” Shining interrupted her thoughts. “I was there. I heard her declare her revenge. She did this.” His words turned to Cadance. “You did this.”

Cadance stood in silence as she stewed in frustration. I was surprised steam wasn’t coming out of her ears. 

“Are you sure?” Twilight asked Shining, praying for some doubt. Something to let her keep believing. He simply nodded, and Twilight took a step away from Cadance. She regarded her sister in law with suspicion for the first time. 

“Why?” Twilight's voice sounded like a crying child. 

“What happened to you?” Shining asked.

“What happened to me?” Cadance backed away from them both, creating a triangle in the way they were positioned. “You…” Her hooves shook as she tried to find the words, and control her anger. “You’re supposed to be a stupid, but lovable meat headed stallion. Why did you have to pick right now to start thinking for yourself?”

“Excuse me?” Shining cocked his head back, thoroughly offended. 

“You wanna know what happened to me?” Cadance began shouting and now there was no closing the floodgates. “You happened to me!” She pointed at him as her face contorted.

“I was taken from my home. Dragged to this forsaken cave, and experimented on. I was filled with her disgusting essence. It assaulted me with all of her spite and anger. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was broken, and scared. And you, both of you…” She pointed to Twilight as well.

“You said I was false. You called me a liar. You called me Chrysalis. You said I was evil. You threatened me.” Tears welled up in her eyes. They seemed much more real to me this time. “You said that if I didn’t leave you would attack me. What was I supposed to do? I was cast out. I was replaced. I had nowhere to go, and then I ran into Thorax and the rest of the Changelings. I thought I was finished, but they were so broken up about their own mother that they let me take over. I couldn’t go home. You wouldn’t believe me. You believed that memory deficient twit instead. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair, and I hated you.”

The tears flowed like a waterfall at this point. Shining looked hurt and shocked to hear his wife say ‘I hate you.’

Now you know what that feels like. I couldn’t help but think.

“For the first time in my life, I hated you. I was a prisoner out here. Maybe not the Changeling’s prisoner, but I was trapped. You want to know why I betrayed you? Because you betrayed me!”

Her voice echoed off the cave walls as she screamed her last word at the top of her lungs. 

“You left me for dead, and then you took this whore into your bed.” I shook for a moment at her insult. “You went on without me as if nothing had ever happened. So I went after you in the only way I had left. I would make you notice me. I would make you care again. Even if I had to drag the whole Crystal Empire down, I would make you pay for what you did.”

Twilight was stunned. She didn’t know how to process an emotional cut this deep. However, Shining and I were veterans at it by now. He held her gaze as she dressed him down like he was a misbehaving recruit. 

“And then you had a child with her.” Her voice dropped so low, it sent chills down my spine. “You contributed your seed to the spawn of evil. She cannot be allowed to claim the throne one day. I swear I will wipe this tainted bloodline from the face of the earth.”

“What?” Shining shouted with pure anguish on his face. 

“But first.” Cadence’s wrath swapped over to me. I saw the violent purpose in her eyes too late.

“You!” her horn lit up with blinding hot blue light. Her beam was in the air and right in my face before I could react. I should have been ready. I knew a fight was brewing, and she still caught me off guard.

“Mother!” Thorax cried as my vision was eclipsed by a black body leaping in front of me. I heard a miserable singing noise as the blast hit Thorax in his soft underbelly. 

His painful, weeping cry filled my ears. It would fill my nightmares for years to come. I was helpless to save him as Cadance’s powerful attack wreaked havoc on my poor baby boy. 

“Thorax!” I screamed out as my shrill voice cracked in its upper register. Cadance’s attack mercifully ceased. I was about to throw him out of the way if she decided to persist. 

“Ugh, Stupid boy.” Cadance flipped her hair back as if commenting on petty school drama. 

“Traitor!” Pharynx’s voice shouted, as he leaped and flew over to Cadance. His jagged hoof landed squarely on her left cheek. The blows sent her careening back, and tore a gash into her soft furry face. He was about to go for another blow when a magenta magic aura enveloped him, freezing him in place.

“Let go of me!” He demanded, as Twilight maintained her restraining spell on him. 

I heard the buzzing sound of my hive taking to the air. I craned my head around to see them hissing and jumping to action. They took Pharynx’s charge as a call to battle. They advanced forward, and I knew this was about to turn into a massive brawl. My family, both of my families, were about to be locked in mortal combat. 

“Wait!” I commanded my Changelings and they reluctantly settled back down, although now much closer to what was potentially a battle ground. 

“We don’t want to fight.” Twilight and I said in unison. Our eyes met for a tense and awkward second. The battle was delayed for at least another moment. I wanted to ask her to let Pharynx down, but with how much he was struggling in her magical grip, it was probably for the best that he was restrained. 

“Mo…ther…” Thorax’s weak and hoarse voice cried as he reached out with his hoof to grab me. I wrapped him up into my arms, and forced myself to look at the damage. My heart collapsed as I looked at his burnt middle section. 

“Radiant burns!” I shouted as my hateful gaze landed on Cadance. Because of the Changeling curse, our bodies were weak to radiant spells. She had intended to kill me with her attack. 

“It burns…” Thorax coughed, causing him to convulse in yet more pain. “Please… make it stop burning.” He looked like he was on the verge of losing consciousness. I held his head in my left hoof and gently placed my jagged right hoof on his burnt chest. He reeled slightly at my touch on his delicate and damaged skin. 

“Does anyone know healing magic?” I certainly didn’t. It wasn’t something we had access to at our hive. We used birthing pods as healing chambers when needed, but there was no time to do that now. Thorax was fading in my arms.

“Please…” I watched as my tears dripped onto Thorax’s shoulder. “I’ll do anything. I’ll go face trial, turn me to stone, whatever you want. But please, someone. Somepony save him. I-I don’t know how.” I looked into his fading eyes as guilt riddled my useless Queen mind and body. We were a species catered to make war and terror. Not peace and healing. 

“I’m no expert.” Twilight said as I looked up at her. “But I can cast some healing spells.”

“Name your price.” I pleaded with her. “Tell me your terms. Anything you want, for his life.” Thorax’s painful moans filled me with dread. Twilight was my only hope. Thorax’s only chance. These burns would resist natural healing. His body would need help. 

“No price.” Twilight shook her head. “I’ll do it, but uh…” She gestured her head at the floating Pharynx who was still bound in her spell.

“Pharynx.” My calm yet stern maternal voice shot out of me. “Be a good boy and stay still so that Auntie Twilight can heal your brother. No fighting.” I demanded.

Shining rose an eyebrow when I called Twilight ‘auntie.’

“Y-yes mother.” He obediently replied and stopped resisting the spell. Twilight gently set him down as she released him. He calmly walked over to us until he was in Thorax’s field of vision. 

“I…” Thorax struggled to speak. “I’m sorry for being… weak.” He said to his red maned sibling. The hair color was the only discernible difference between the two of them. 

“No.” Pharynx shook his head. “You were quicker than me, and you saved mother when I was too slow. I… I’m proud of you little brother.” Thorax grinned in response, too weak to speak anymore. 

“Um… excuse me… Pharynx was it?” Twilight shuffled her hooves as she spoke. She was still a socially awkward nerd. “I need to um… I need space so I can…”

Pharynx’s eyes regarded her with suspicion as he shuffled out of the way to make room for Twilight. 

“T-thank you.” She nodded to him.

“Why did you stop me?” He asked her point blank. 

“Pardon?” Twilight looked confused.

“Why didn’t you let me finish her?” Pharynx bared his fangs as he spoke. “She betrayed you. She attacked her own kind, and you dare deny me my vengeance on her?”

“She’s my sister.” Twilight replied unapologetically. “I had to save her. Even if she hurt me.” 

Pharynx didn’t agree, but he let the matter drop. Twilight inspected Thorax’s burns. Her face looked more and more grim the longer she looked. 

“You’re right. It’s radiant damage. Which is especially potent against… uh…” Twilight paused as she wasn’t sure how to look at me.

“Say it.” I ordered in a severe tone.

“It’s especially potent against evil creatures.” Twilight swallowed. 

“Debatable.” I replied with a sly grin. “It threatens our bodies because of our curse, not our deeds.”

“His body can’t heal on its own.” She continued dodging the issue. “The radiant energy prevents cells from reprod-” I felt my eyes roll as I interrupted her.

“I know how radiant damage works, Twilight.” 

She nodded softly. There was still something she didn’t want to say.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. It felt like the first real conversation we’d had now that I was her enemy. 

“It’s just that…” She looked between Thorax and myself. “I can cast the healing spell, but if there’s evil in his heart. It will only… damage him further.” Twilight avoided the word ‘death.’

I suddenly took her hoof into mine, and she nearly jumped back away from me. Instead she tolerated my touch with suspicion in her eyes. 

“We’re not evil Twilight. If this is what it takes to show you that, then so be it.” I held her gaze for a moment as she considered my words. To my surprise, she briefly squeezed my hoof back. Twilight activated her magic as a purple haze enveloped Thorax’s body.

“Mo…ther…” Thorax’s semi conscious voice spoke. “What’s… what’s happening?”

“It’s ok, darling.” I petted his mane as Twilight’s healing spell started pulsing. “Everything is going to be alright, I promise.”

I watched as Thorax’s crisp and burnt flesh mended back into new young skin. I let myself hope again, as I watched the color return to his eyes. He was getting better. Twilight may not be a healing expert, but when it came to magic, her capable horn could be trusted. Her eyes looked surprised as she watched the healing spell work as intended on Thorax’s body. 

Twilight’s spell ended and she took a moment to catch her breath.

“Ok, that’s about all I can do.” Twilight shook her head. “Anything more will require a professional. However, he should be out of any immediate danger.”

Twilight cried out as I took her into my embrace. Her horn lit for a second, ready to defend herself. She finally relaxed herself as I said,

“Thank you, Twilight.” Tears were flowing down my cheeks again. “I know you hate me. I know we’ve been enemies for so long, but thank you. Thank you for saving his life.”

I let go of her, and she regarded me with a conflicted expression. 

“You’re welcome… Chrysalis.” She nodded with a slight grin on her cheek. 

“Thorax, how do you feel?” I focused my attention back to my son.

“It still hurts, but…” He struggled to turn himself over. “I think I can move.” He managed to get onto his knees and elbows and started to stand up.

“Don’t overdo it.” I advised. “Rest if you need to.”

“I’m ok, mother.” He smiled at me. “I’ve had worse.”

“Thorax, what have I told you about lying to me?” I said sternly. 

“I know. I just wanted to sound cool.” He looked deflated. Pharynx bursted out laughing.

“We’ll work on your image, little brother.” Pharynx patted his brother on the back.

“Ow!” Thorax cried out, staring daggers at Pharynx.

“Sorry, sorry.” Pharynx put his hooves up in apology. 

“I hate to break up this tearful family reunion.” Cadance spoke up causing the four of us to look over at her. “Oh wait, no I don’t. Twilight, if you’re done fraternizing with Changelings, we have a Queen to prosecute.”

“You tried to kill her.” Twilight looked at her sister in law in a different light. “You almost killed him.”

“Nopony is perfect.” Cadance shrugged as her voice dropped. “I’ll aim better next time.” I heard the vitriol in her voice. 

The collective hiss from my hivelings bounced off the cave walls and into our ears. I saw them stomping their hooves and baring their teeth. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to hold them back. They weren’t likely to let Cadance leave this cave alive.

Sounds like her problem to me. The thought was comforting, even funny to me, but I knew it wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what was right. 

Cadance rubbed her newly scarred cheek, and I saw fresh anger wrinkle her nose and cheeks. 

“You dare mark my face, Changeling?” She glared at Pharynx. She wouldn’t even use his name. “By the time I’m through with you, you’re all going to be extinct.” She shouted, and my Changelings screeched back in disgust. It was impossible to hear anything but my hive’s war cry for a few moments. 

“Cadance, shut up!” Shining yelled at her, catching everyone off guard. Especially Cadance.

“Shining?” She looked at him, genuinely concerned. 

“We are trapped in this cave with a hive between us and the exit.” He gestured to the Changeling mob. You couldn’t even see the cave path as my children filled the floors and walls. 

“And you’re screaming about exterminating them? Stop talking before you get us all killed.” He berated her. She wanted to say something, but Twilight beat her to it.

“Perhaps a truce is in order?” Twilight inched her way over to Shining, leaving Cadance standing off by herself. 

“A truce?” Cadance scoffed. “You can’t make a truce with Changelings. At least, not forever.”

“You’re the one who broke our truce, Princess.” I hopped down from my slab, leaving Thorax alone to rest on it. 

“It doesn’t matter what we agree to or what the terms are.” Cadance had to yell to be heard above the buzzing of my hive.

“And you know this, Chrysalis.” She pointed past me, gesturing to my noisy hive. “Look at your Changelings.”

I turned to see their faces, and I instantly understood what she was getting at.

“They’ve been starving for a year.” She said with joy in her voice. I turned back to face her, and saw the satisfaction on her face. “Look at their drooling fangs. Their overactive wings. The uncontrollable noises coming out of their hideous bodies. It’s hunger, Chrysalis. You can’t change what you are. You can make all the promises you want, but eventually the hive will disobey you and give in to their base nature.”

She boldly stepped forward to be face to face with me. I was taller, yet still felt like the smaller creature. 

“You… you starved them? My children… for a whole year?”

Cadance’s shrug made my anger boil over. “For all my wrongs, I honored our truce, Cadance. We pulled back on the checkpoints. There has been peace. The crystal ponies are happy and prospering. And yet, you… you allowed this to happen? My children looked up to you, and this is what you did?”

Cadance tossed her mane and grinned. “I’m surprised they lasted as long as they have.”

I glared at her. “Of course they did. They didn’t ask for this curse driving their hunger and forcing them to feed. There is good in them.”

“So says their evil Queen.” Cadance shot back. “And soon.” She tapped her hoof on my shoulder, practically pushing me as I stood my ground. “You’ll give into it too. The hunger. You must feel it too.”

“No.” I said as the ravenous cry of my children filled my ears. She was right. I couldn’t stop them forever. Not when they’ve been starved. They had to feed, or they would…

What about me?

“You know it’s true.” Cadance taunted me. “Eventually you’d feed on Shining, and your baby, and anypony else you claim to love. It’s who you are, you’re nothing but a vile thing.” Her voice dropped so low, the vocal fry from her last words burned into me. “Queen of the monsters.” 

“No…” My reply was weak.

Am I a monster? I questioned. Are we cursed to feel this way forever and feed until we are wiped out? 

I believe you’re asking the wrong question. A familiar and kind voice said.

You’re still here? I asked the Crystal Heart.

Always. His simple response kept what little flame I had in my heart lit.

Ok, one more game I suppose. I relented and I could feel him chuckling. What is the right question?

You keep wondering why your hive must eat. But the answer is obvious. 

They are cursed, and haven’t eaten in a year. I replied bluntly

Correct. He said as if he were my school teacher. Therefore, the question I have for you is, why aren’t you hungry, Queen Chrysalis?

The gears started turning in my head. I had been asleep for a year. Dreaming in someone else’s life. I hadn’t drained anyone the entire time, and yet…

I feel no desire to feed. I realized.

Indeed. He said as if it were obvious. So why are you full and they’re not?

“Mother.” Thorax’s soft voice took me out of my thoughts. I looked at my boy. His fangs were bared. Drool filled his mouth as his wings started beating like his brothers and sisters behind him.

“I’m so hungry.” He said as greedy desire filled his round eyes. I looked over at Pharynx. He looked like a rabid animal ready to pounce. I wasn’t fully sure he would hear me if I spoke. He was shaking, and veins were popping in his neck. I had mere moments, seconds to act.

“Cadance betrayed us.” Thorax said with a wicked smile in his voice. “Can I eat her, mother? Just her. Just a little bit.”

“Thorax, wait.” I stood between him and Cadance who was wisely backing away at this point.

“Keep that monster off of me.” Cadance cried as she joined Twilight and Shining’s side again.

“Oh now you’re worried about that?” Shining chastised her.

“I’m too hungry, mother. I have to…” He started and I took his cheeks into my hooves, as I stared into his starving expression.

“Oh Thorax. Love must be given freely, not taken.” I rubbed his squishy cheeks.

“I don’t understand.” One tear dripped down his cheek and onto my hoof. 

“I’ll show you.” I let him go, handing him back to his brother. With a growing resolve building in my gut, I levitated myself into the air, making sure I could see all of my children. 

I know what I have to do. I told the Crystal Heart.





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