I looked at myself in the mirror and ask, “Is this life really mine?”
I had to think about this since opinions and control can be one in the same. Ponies all the time will try and tell you what’s best for your life, and that some decisions you make might lead you down the wrong roads. Spoken from experiences that they once faced, they wanted to feed you with the best intentions.
I had to think about some of them. The ones I thought about are the same ones where they tell me that I’m not strong enough to do it either physically or mentally. They say that I need to stay within my bounds and never deviate from the norm. I’m a mare, thus to do something that wasn’t lady like was utterly preposterous! I’m supposed to be as delicate as a flower, and not as hard as a rock.
I’m told that I need to fit into the ideals of what a lady was supposed to be by those elitists. In the meantime, I couldn’t act like the true roughneck I was in the Royal Guard. They wanted to chain up that attitude under the sophisticated shroud of an upper social status. They wanted me to forget about my fighting spirit since it’s something that brought trouble to my hooves. I’m not supposed to bite back and say what I truly feel and want to express. I had to lock that way.
I believe they’ve tried to mold me into another one of their pawns.
I’ll admit, when I hung out with these ponies, I was a little bit scared of their notaries. They were influential equines, business leaders, and politicians that I have grew up with since I was a little filly. Some of them were my personal heroes. To meeting them was awe inspiring, but to know them was another story.
At first, I listened to what they had to say and took their advice to heart at times. It seemed like what they said were great lessons to hear and learn from, but l wasn’t aware of the game they all liked to play. I never saw the world through their eyes, like how any important pony would view others. I felt like a fool. I was blind from the truth, and it took me having Fancy Pants to explain how they all really acted. He had to tell we why they talked to me the way that they did. He opened my eyes up to the reality of what I had gotten myself into.
They all wanted to conquer each other. Fancy Pants said this world was full of dogs who only wanted to eat each other for the money or power they possessed. Greed was their fuel, and they wanted to make sure that no other pony stood in their way from obtaining whatever they wanted in the end. It’s their goal to seek out and eliminate all the opposition which could barter them from their desires.
You couldn’t believe the rage I flared up once I knew the truth. I wanted to turn around and punch the mirror before watching it shatter and fall to the ground in pieces. I’m not a pet to them! They don’t own me! They shouldn’t think that they are better than me! Don’t they know that in the end we are all equal and that their obsessions don’t add any value to their life? How shallow are their minds?
….
I won’t be like them. I refuse to bow down to their idea of a classy lady. I have no desire to be a stuck-up brat who can’t do anything except ask my husband to pick up on the tasks I can’t complete because I’m a mare. I won’t let their influences control my mind any longer since I’m the only one who serves me. I’m my own master. I won’t let their riches possess my will since I’m fine on my own.
This life is mine and I owe nothing to them! I have a right to ignore their words and not let the poison of their thoughts dictate my actions. I’m fine with who I am and the choices I made, even if they aren’t ideal or sound. I made that choice, and I’m willing to face the consequences even if they rear up and kick me in the face. Heck, I might have deserved the kick to the face, but I learned from it on my own.
I took the mirror and threw it out the window.
I’m done with the image of they wanted me to be. I’m ready to move on with my life and not look back. I’m ready to shock them all when I tell them to kiss the flank they’ll see when I go down my own path towards happiness. It’s what I want to do, and not the idea they would be happy with. Oh well! They can all sit there, crying and moaning over their cups of tea. In the meantime, I’ll carry my bottle of whiskey proudly as I take myself down the untraveled road.
I’m going to wear my outdated clothing, go skydiving sometime, or take a camping into the forest. I don’t care! I’m going to be the true rough mare that I was born to be! I’ll make my own fire, cook my own steak meals, and then eat them up with more BBQ sauce than what’s held at a steakhouse.
As for my husband, I know he’ll be right next to me the entire time. He gives me the strength to believe in myself. That’s another reason why I love him, and thank him for being the best thing that has ever happened in my life. He gave me the power and vision to see pass all the crap. He told me that I have the will to never be like any of those ponies. I’m Fleur Dis Lee, and that’s the only pony that I need to be!