Zebrican Warlord

by Arelak


Chapter 33: Fool's and Duel's

"Dueling, including to the death, are one of the best legal methods of solving problems ever instituted as cowards flee in terror and fools soon earn an early grave."
-Warlord-

Verik had been standing at the canal's edge for no less than five minutes before some random zebra walked up and began babbling. Not babbling in confusion nor fear but anger and pure hatred.

It had been a whole of two days since the work began and Asha's warning, now here was who he supposed she had warned him about. Everything was going so well too, the workers had really outdone themselves on moving a mountain of earth and the first "test section" had been completed. This meant that after some inspection, measurement and final approval would mean getting on with it and digging the rest of the canal.

Now however Verik faced a new problem as the stallion just kept droning on and on while the audience continued to grow till all work had halted. He also had absolutely no idea what so ever as to what in the hell this intruder was saying. Whatever allowed him to understand the locals had fizzled out on this one as his rough, near guttural speech wore on.

Verik did not he was being insulted and called all manner of things, any fool would know that and the gaping mouths from the audience only lended more credence to this. Only one question remained in his head: was the idiot going to attack or just keep running his mouth till he died of old age?

A tapping on his shoulder reminded him that he had been talking to his new "task master" Siji when this all started. Siji stared at him a long moment in confusion but the other never broke their stride in slurring out insults.

"You know this one?"

"Siji, could you translate for me? I know he is insulting me but I dont understand one word of it."

With a strange nod the zebra began to give rough translations of everything being said and frankly most of it was so laughable Verik wondered what the point was. He knew ten year olds who could cuss each other out better and use insults that actually meant something.

Wrapping up his tyrade the other finally pointed at Verik and barked out one last insult which resulted in confused stares from all but a couple flinched.

"Siji, translate that last one."

"Uhm. He say you, how to say this with other words... You have tiny pecker."

"Right. Okay asshole, I dont know your name and dont really give a damn but I assume your looking for a fight, dont know why either, never seen you before. I ain't some thirteen year old punk who is worried about his manhood either, what I got gets the job done just fine so you can just piss off!"

Silence reigned for a little while until the offender twitched and stomped off leaving all forty something of them to watch him go.

"That one deeply insult you-"

"I dont give a damn, I think I know what he is up too and wont fall for it either, if he thinks he can rile me up by acting like a jackass he's dead wrong."

"Think that one try again or worse."

"Probably, but I wont be goaded into a fight. Alright, back to work!"

Things had gone very well after that little interruption and everyone ignored it, a few gave him odd stares but went about their work anyway. As the day progressed Tendaji came down to look at the canal and after giving his final approval things were free to proceed in full gear. It would take not just weeks but months of digging with what little tools they had but once done the canal would nearly surround Wete forming a moat.

Having their own moat disguised as a canal tickling Sefu to death but made Tendaji twitch every time someone called it that. Neither did he fail to remind them that calling it such around one of Fareed's agents would result in no small amount of trouble either. Still, Tendaji was quite happy with his prospects at least.

For years the Wete had drug off the boulders and large rocks from any area they had interest in farming and dumped them into a huge pile. Now, those same piles would be emptied out and used as bracing walls for buildings which doubled as defensive walls. As the month wore on he was assured more work teams would be made available for the project allowing them to pick up the pace.

With any luck at all the projected months would be cut down and at least a few fields would be irrigable before the next planting season. Overall things were a mess, the fields were being used out of season in total desperation to get even one mouthful of greenery or corn but at least the climate allowed for the attempt, it was a bad one but they were desperate.

When the work day ended for his work crew Verik gathered them up and informed them they were to keep digging tomorrow with or without him. He would check in now and then but the markers were all in place and all they had to do was dig this exact same section out again and again. If by whatever reason they hit the larger markers they were to stop as it marked a floodgate and that would require specific details to be adhered too.

Floodgates, Tendaji had said he would "figure it out" somehow and everyone suspected someone was going to have a couple of tree's stolen in the near future. Stealing tree's... What a concept that was, but when your world is made of scrub brush and scraggly trees finding one that grew thick and straight was hard.

"We go home now?" Siji smiled when Verik nodded and waved the dust and dirt covered zebras away, they wasted no time in making a B-line for the river.

"Now we go home."

Verik had forgotten Asha and Sibi worked in the field adjacent to where he was working today, they had once more been shifted around. Just about every other day they were in a different field weeding or watering the plants and sometimes hauling water.

"I think that zebra you told me about came by today."

Asha twitched a little as they walked around the section of canal and towards home, he was right then, that was the one she had warned him about.

"He not cause fight?"

"Tried, but like I said I ain't some thirteen year old punk who can be goaded into a fight by insulting someones manhood."

"That not small insult."

"Well I am not a zebra nor anything else around here, just me."

"You cook more meat for dinner?"

What a day that had been, killing a wild boar or warthog, whatever it was. He had tried to remember every last detail he could about salt curing and put it to effect but the problem of bleeding the meat had remained. Without refrigeration it would spoil immediately so he had eaten well that night before packing the cut strips of meat into ground up salt.

It was no small ordeal having to learn a lot on the fly like that but something went right as two days later there was no rotting smell, only the smell of salt. Flies avoided it too, whatever bacteria was in there was dying quickly and after replacing the salt last night he figured it was luck or good memory.

Unfortunately there were not enough jars to actually brine it properly thus extending its life but at least for now he could eat well. Had to cook the meat to death though and drink water like a fish because of the salt but still, having meat after so long without it all tasted good anyway.

Scared the hell out of the few neighbors they had though. Nuru could care less and never said a word but that wonderful cooking flesh smell gave the other zebras and one Arabian the willies. Altayih and Shahid even stayed clear come nightfall but for whatever reason Asha was not bothered by it or at least not openly.

"Think I will chop it up and fry it on that flat rock I found... Make a kind of grits and fried meat chunk dish."

"Why you keep calling it grits?"

"Because where I come from that's what we call ground and boiled corn. I have a question though, why would whats his name spend all that time mouthing off? He never attacked, was he trying to get me to attack him?"

"Maybe, if you attack him others say you too dangerous and demand you be thrown out."

"I am guessing this is just the beginning of trouble then."

Asha nodded quietly as they walked home leaving Verik to wonder just how far feuds were allowed to go here. Was there any kind of limit or could a member of the Wete go to any length? Most likely not but that did not mean they would not get underhanded.

"They wont try and burn the hut down will they?"

"No! They burn or steal and they be punished severely or exiled!"

So that means they gave up on her and are coming after me now.


A week had passed without even a single run in, not a peep, not a word. Actually this grudge of theirs was rather boring Verik had to admit. Most of his time was spent training but three times a day he was sent off to check on things and make certain it was all going according to plan, which it was.

Siji was very good at keeping to the plan and while he was inept at counting his ability to judge distance and depth was excellent. Already the canal was stretching off nicely and threatening to cause problems for the water bearers if a bridge was not put up soon. Just one more thing on the ever growing "to do" list that was this whole project.

The potter had cranked out to sections of pipe and they passed muster but the sheer number required had made her balk at Tendaji. This was no small project but as the week had worn on they had all come to realize that very soon they would hit an invisible wall, once struck both Tendaji and Verik agreed it would take over half the work force in Wete to truly get the canal under way.

Reaching the first field would be easy enough within the next few days but after that the rough, rocky and hard soil would mean double the workers and tools. Verik had even suggested using water to soften the soil once a pit had been formed but after they mulled that over it was decided it would probably take far too long. Not that they would not at least try.

Up on the hill that was Wete things were going even better, Sefu had staked out an area he wanted "walled off" to make an attackers life that much harder and soon it too would be cleared. No huts sat on this area due to its slope but with some digging, leveling and reinforcement with boulders it would become a solid wall of stone and then adobe wall.

Three such sections would be built leaving gaps between them so it would not appear they were building a wall but merely housing as what the Arabian's were accustomed too. What a lot they were, somehow Wete had become the home of over a hundred of them. Currently they lived in dugouts or under reeds held up with sticks and prayer, hearing they would be given actual homes again had brought about a degree of joy.

There was no longer a shortage of willing workers but a lack of tools and material.

Meanwhile Asha's little hut was slowly improving, Verik had managed to get at least half the roof repaired and the walls fixed but it was slow going. When one spends all day long training there is little energy left for other things come nightfall.

A furious tapping on Verik's shoulder got him to turn around and face Siji, for whatever reason this one preferred to tap or shake rather than simply announce themselves. With a point he brought Verik's attention to a familiar face that had once more joined them only this time they were waiting patiently.

"What the hell do you want?"

They chose to spit towards him first then loudly declared some other random word he had never heard of but he did catch a name: Asha. Walking away they left everyone to stare and Verik to lean towards Siji to understand what just happened.

"He challenge you to duel. Over Asha."


Tonight they had visitors at Asha's hut, three of them: Nuru, Sefu and Tendaji. No one was amused by how things were developing and as Tendaji explained the law the others listened quietly till he finished.

"Okay, so Asha can refuse him, period. However, he can still challenge me over the right thereof since I am not Wete."

Tendaji nodded at Verik. "Yes but if you refuse challenge you must move from hut and give up Asha."

"So whats his name is using Asha to get at me."

"Yes, not honorable but legal."

"You are the chief and could simply put an end to this here and now by refusing him the right to challenge... Why have you not done so?"

"Others want you gone, if I refuse they make trouble, trouble we do not need."

"Some faction is using their numbers and whatever clout they have to force the issue then."

"Do you accept his challenge or not?"

During this no one had even asked Asha what she thought nor wanted, she had sat there wide eyed listening in silence the whole time but was now fidgeting. Verik turned slightly to look at her a moment before looking back at Tendaji.

"I can assume that if I fight there is a catch."

"If you win it means you marry Asha, no refuse, Asha must accept though."

"So this idiot thinks threatening me will chase me off? I have been living here for how long and he suddenly thinks I am going to run?"

Sefu let out a small laugh before speaking up, "one more catch, he declared duel to the death."

Were they counting on him to be scared? Did they well and truly believe him to be a mercenary or something else? None of this made any logical sense but it did not have too as in a way it did make sense: first of all he was hardly into his training and thus an easy target. Secondly no one wanted Asha so who cares, she could refuse if they won and no loss. However, it all provided the perfect precedent to put him in a pit with someone who they figured could win and if nothing else at least kill him.

It was all perfectly idiotic, foolish, full of faults and general stupidity. This was exactly what one could expect of a group that was willing to go to nearly any length to get at him. But why?

"Why? I have been here a while and now they cause trouble?"

"This long time coming, some not like you, want you dead or gone. I am not pleased with their choice but it is their right." Tendaji breathed out slowly and stared into the embers of the fire for a long moment before looking at Verik again. "It your choice but they not back down, that much clear. It make no sense and foolish but fools do foolish things in their hate."

"Fair enough, but I want to speak with Asha first. Alone."

Nodding the three guests left and Tendaji declared he would return in a little while once they had settled things.

"Asha-"

"It okay, you not have to, if you fight and kill you make more enemies, loose..."

"No, its not that. I really do love you but they are trying to force things and I cant stand that. What I really wanted was for us to have a chance to get to know each other, to well and truly understand each other. I have seen more than enough misery to know that rushing into marriage is a horrible mistake and the last thing I ever want is to wind up marrying someone who hates me or to wind up harming them because of who I am and what I believe."

"That why I love you, you care, want to know, learn, listen. Not want to hurt and make it mean something."

"Because marriage does Asha, I have never been married, never considered it and for that matter, hell I have never been with anyone, ever. Never laid a finger on any woman in my life and swore I never would unless we were married and Asha, I marry for life."

"Me too. Always want family but never find one who listens like you, at night you always sit and listen, smile at me. I know you help at night, wake with you holding hand sometimes but always sneak away before I wake. Feel safe with you here, you even fix hut, many things you do but never ask in return."

"I want a family too, a big one but I dont even know if that is possible, we are two different species."

"Not that different, who know, maybe yes may be no. We find out together though yes?"

"We could but you do now what I am planning, my aspirations are not hidden from you and the trouble it will cause-"

"You trust me so you tell me those things. Afraid? Yes, but evil times, what you plan maybe work or not but at least you think and try yes? Always telling me your plans and letting me know, you trust me very much hm?"

"Indeed but I do not want that to come back to haunt our decision tonight. This is deadly serious and while I wanted to take things slowly that is out the door now. If I accomplish even half of what I have in mind your world will change forever and maybe not for the better."

"Hah! I live in little hut, big cracks, leaky roof and-" Asha began to giggle, something Verik had never heard before but it brought a certain warmth he had never felt before to his chest. "You not only one who dreams of better things, that you willing to share with me is enough and I love you for it. Also that you always stare at me help too!"

All this time he had tried to make it a point to be polite and look away or avert his gaze but inevitably it always returned to her. At night when the embers still burned and cast enough light for him to see in the dark he would stare at her obliquely or during the day always from the corner of his eyes. It was not something to be proud of, always ogling someone but she was too eye catching, it was a crime to look away.

"Caught me red handed hm?"

"Many, many times. You think you so sneaky but not. Thank you though."

A half grin and nod was all he could return to her, his gut knotted up but released finally, what were his odds of ever finding a gorgeous woman... Or was it mare? What were the odds he would find one who actually liked it when she looked at him? It was always the opposite elsewhere and he had never even looked at them, just his mere presence had resulted in hostility. In a few cases in almost broke out into a fight just for being in the same vehicle but Asha was happy that he snuck peaks at her?

"Well, I guess all those jokes I have been hearing about us being married are finally going to bear fruit."

"Yes, but you win first. Then we marry-"

"I now know that when I win there will be a gorgeous zebra waiting on me... Why in the hell would I ever allow the other bastard to win?"

"So you accept his challenge?"

"Of course, you are the first to ever say they love me either, never had anyone say that before. Ever."

"Not even mother?"

"Hell no, that is a long story for another time though."

Verik was feeling a little light of spirit now that it looked like one of his dreams would bear fruit but what happened next cemented it. Asha wrapped him in a hug and just stayed there and neither moved. Both sat listening to the tiny pops from the fire while embracing each other, sharing in each others warmth and company until Tendaji returned.

The chief said nothing but merely nodded and left.


"Duel is set, four days. I make them agree because you not good enough fighter yet, give you chance to learn more."

"I take it there are rules then?"

Sefu moved his head side to side for a moment before shaking his head. "No, but you get to choose weapons for duel, it to death so you make choice. Fight be in circle and many watch, do not let mind wander! Focus."

"Any weapon I want? No limits?"

"No limits."

"Good, I have an idea, so no rules either, just so long as I kill them?"

"Yes... You eager to kill them now?"

"There is someone at stake and I am not going to allow them to take that away, not now, not ever."

Sefu continued to explain the little ritual that would take place before the duel could proceed, certain oaths were required of both parties and other legal matters tended too. One being who got the deceased belongings and in Verik's case it all went to Asha and his little band of mercenaries.

Tendaji had required one thing of the challenging side however, that should they win or loose the matter is dropped in its entirety. That once the matter was resolved no one would prey upon the aftermath nor try and start a fight again, nor would they encourage others, once the duel was over, it was over.

However, both Sefu and Verik had their suspicion's that it would not be so simple and that bad blood would pervade for some time if not permanently. Still, it provided the chief with the perfect excuse to hammer back any nail that stuck its neck out afterwords. Duels to the death were almost unheard of in their history but ordinary duels of the more fist related nature were somewhat common.

Rather than force everyone to sit on their bottled up rage till it exploded in out of control violence they chose to sanction and control it carefully.

As each day wore on Sefu kept Verik apart from the others and drilled him non-stop to the point of nearly passing out. He was absolutely sincere about making certain he had a chance of surviving the fight and since Verik refused to say what weapon he was choosing it meant putting him through the wringer.

Verik did insist more on hand to hand than anything though and when resting was told to stay in motion so he would not cramp up, he took to throwing rocks while walking around and by the fourth day the circle was a dark, looming omen.


"We have the baskets with your "weapons" as you asked captain." Altayih let his basket fall to the ground with a thud and sighed in relief. Shahid had born a basket as well and put it on the far side, this would be fair after all. Painful, but fair.

"Good, you already know that if for whatever reason I die you three are in my "will" correct?"

"Oh we are not worried, we know what you asked Sefu about the rules and such. Also we collected your weapons so we are aware what you have planned. Crude... But it sounds just like you."

Altayih was smiling as he finished that, it was a compliment too, the four of them were known for being deeply underhanded in their fighting. Four of them... Sabiwa had been a great help and had adopted to their "dirty fighting" as others called it very quickly. He even relished in it with them as they would discuss just how underhanded one could be in a fight in order to win.

They had all come to rely on each other quite a bit during training and whenever they were allowed to be on the same time in two's... It always devolved from being the traditional "one on one" melee to one keeping their attention while the other stabbed their opponent in the side.

While it was confounding to the locals that they would fight like this Verik's "new ways" were undeniably effective, today whoever there would be no ally to lend a hand. This battle was a forced one on one duel and there would be no assistance what so ever, one of them had to drop dead.

"Here they come..."

Watching the arrival of the other party made a small knot form for a moment in Verik's stomach, it unraveled quickly when he saw Asha being brought by Jelani.

Nuru did a little ritual for the circle to "chase off evil spirits" before saying a prayer over both Verik and his opponent. It was to better "guide their soul" so it would not linger or become lost and considering what strange things Verik heard at night coming from her hut, he believed it.

There was no pomp and circumstance afterwords though, once she finished and left having apparently no interest in the outcome Tendaji called them into the huge circle. They all knew what was at stake but he reminded them anyway along with the terms.

When he had finished Tendaji stared at Verik and raised an eyebrow.

"What weapons you choose?"

"Is the fight started?"

"Yes..."

Tendaji stepped from the ring and motioned at them, the other raised his fists assuming this was the weapon he had chosen. Normally he might have been right, Verik had a ways to go on learning how to fight so one would naturally assume he would choose hand to hand since he was ahead of several and gaining rapidly.

That was not the case.

"I choose rock."

Reaching into the basket quickly he drew out two stones, one in each hand and as his opponent looked on in confusion he hurtled one at him. While it was far from where he had aimed it still smacked them hard in the side and made them bend over in pain for a moment before the rush was on. Realizing what the basket of rocks was for the zebra snatched out a heavy one and charged in.

Flinging another at his opponents legs Verik made them jump to the side slowing their momentum before closing the gap and grabbing the arm that bore a stone. For one brief moment the two strained against each other before knocking their legs out from under each other.

Letting go of his rock Verik grabbed a handful of sand and straining as if to drive his former stone into the others face the zebra reached up to catch his hand. Releasing the handful of sand quickly into their face they shut their eyes, snorted and brought their legs up, with a powerful push they knocked Verik away.

The short distance made what would have been a severe blow somewhat less but they were both up again and grabbing his rock on the way up Verik chucked it quickly. It hit but they had learned and were not fools letting their own larger rock fly at him.

Grazing his leg as it passed Verik cringed in pain as his leg burned, it had just barely winged him but it hurt like hell all the same. Backing away they both grabbed new rocks before going at each other while the great throng of onlookers fled to a safe distance or crawled off so as to not be hit by accident.

Verik had asked Jelani to keep Asha and the others far away from the ring because of this, he could trust her to not give anything away but that meant others might get caught in the crossfire. A calculated risk but it was that or sacrifice his best chance of victory through surprise but more than that: his best chance at surviving.

Whoever he was up against was not a warrior but still trained well enough that it did not really matter. He had to keep the pressure on them so they could not regain their composure or else it would be his end. Even now the wild look in their eyes was all he needed to know, they were still in a mild state of shock.

Another rock whistled past his head as he closed in quickly with a smaller and larger rock, the smaller one he let fly in an underhanded pitch to force them low. Bringing the bigger rock up as he closed the final gap it nearly worked but they dodged quickly and the blow merely grazed their muzzle.

A sharp pain in his side let Verik know the other had just slammed a stone into his side but he continued to move and turn with the blow before throwing the larger stone down and onto them. It was not as hard a throw as it could have been but it was enough to knock the wind out of the as it struck their rib-cage.

Reaching out quickly Verik grabbed them by the tail and pulled back with everything he had while bringing his boot up between their legs and with a heavy thud dropped them. Unfortunately it was not a hit but instead missed the target as they moved reflexively to protect themselves resulting in their inner thigh taking the blow, they still collapsed on the ground thankfully.

Moving away long enough to grab a rock the two charged in again, the other loosing their temper bit by bit. Whatever blows they landed on each other were painful and would leave bruises but as they swung back and forth, ducking, dodging and moving to avoid a hit both became a little more bloodied as things continued.

There was a savage honesty to the fight, they fought with stones like two neanderthals hell bent on seeing who could splatter the others brains first. At one point the zebra stomped on Verik's foot giving him an edge but allowing himself to fall quickly the blow was avoided. Grabbing the leg as it passed Verik took his rock and drove it into the side of his enemies knee making them howl in pain before hobbling away.

Both were limping and bleeding but still standing, this meant it was not over and the burning rage in their eyes meant neither ever had any intent of seeing it end in anything less than death. For one their reasoning was largely unknown but for Verik his dreams and aspirations were at stake.

Circling each other till he was back at a basket Verik decided it was time to see just how much the other was paying attention. Pulling two large stones out he stalked forward, they were too heavy to wield properly and seeing this the other zebra hobbled in quickly.

Smacking one against the other it quickly sheered off the edge exposing the sharp edge of the flint. Slashing with it the other stumbled a moment but not before getting cut, with a swift movement of their arm they cracked Verik in the side but it came at a cost.

Tackling the zebra to the ground Verik began hacking and chopping at their side with the sharp stone while trying to keep them from bashing his head in with their own. It was far from perfect but blood flew as each cut added up along the zebras side until they started to push him back.

With a quick jerk of his knee Verik brought his leg up and hit his target making the zebra's eyes dilate and a gargled groan escape his lips. Snatching up at him his opponent grabbed his arm and yanked him back down and drove his stone into Verik's back. Air left his lungs and pain exploded as the Zebra leaned up to hit him in the head to end it.

Well it worked once, maybe it will work again.

Latching into the zebra's throat and sinking his teeth in Verik tried hold the stone bearing arm off while the other began pounding away. Digging in deeper and deeper then giving a few hard tugs and twists he tasted blood in his mouth, it was not his own.

Scared murmurs flooded his ringing ears as he bit harder and harder before pulling back and hoping the zebras hide would give out before his teeth did. Freeing his bite he dove in again but farther up the neck but this time there was an explosion of blood that blinded him.

Yanking free and feeling around he freed his stone bearing hand and groping in the blood haze he felt his hand touch the struggling zebras head. With a crack the stone struck something but they kept moving, their time was running out or at least he hoped it was. There was no room for chances though and dropping the stone he grabbed them, spun their body and after feeling them trying to staunch the blood loss grabbed their head.

One hand on their muzzle the other on the back of their head he gave it a sharp and violent twist and listened for the cracking sound. With it came the sound of utter silence, not even the air moved as he sat on their back wheezing and in agony from the various blows. A couple of cracked ribs did not help either but he had pulled it off.

Time ticked by before the sound of hoof-steps could be heard over the ringing and there was a splash of water on his face. Slowly they washed the blood from his eyes, their face was unsmiling but relieved that the whole thing was finally over.

Tendaji stared down at him for a moment before looking at the crowd still hugging the ground or staying well and clear.

"Verik win, it over. Go home."

At first no one left but slowly they stood and shuffled off, a few glared, some spat and others looked terrified. Some even smiled. It was a mixed bag of effects as they left but a few made their pleasure in his victory well known. Altayih, Shahid and Asha were overjoyed while Sabiwa just nodded before walking away, before now he had doubted the story of just how violent Verik could get in a fight but now he knew.

Jelani smiled before leaving, Sefu was distraught over the loss of a capable fighter but also glad it was over and that Verik had lived. Nuru never showed and the deceased family carried the body away for what he assumed was last rights and burial. One fact did remain: not one of them dared look him in the eyes, they had lost, completely, and as per the agreement the matter was dropped.

But for how long?

"Go see Nuru, she make something to heal injuries." Tendaji walked off, his own role in all of this over. He was not an enemy but neither an ally, the chief would sit on the fence.

"So, captain... A few told me what the "prize" was, you told me once you were not married... Well, now you are."

"Wipe that shit eating grin off your face Altayih."

He did not, Altayih and even Shahid kept smiling but none more so than Asha.

"Not afraid of me after all that?"

Asha shook her head, "no, you go that far for me then I right, you make good husband. But if you choose another I decide if you allowed to marry first."

"What?"

"It mean she not mind if you have many wives." Sefu patted Verik on the back as he walked away, leaving the little band to help him to Nuru's hut.

"Cant say I never found the prospect of several wives unappealing."

"Hmm, well no one cares so long as you can care for them or they you... Customs are strange that way." Altayih took one of Verik's arms and helped him along.

"Well considering how much today hurt I think one wife is all I can manage for now."

Two hummed at this but Asha stifled her own bout of happy giggling.