Night fell. She hadn’t spoken a word the whole way to the base of the mountain. I decided it wasn’t my place to pry. She seemed mortified, I’m all too familiar with that look myself. I’ve had my share of bad days, my own bad luck. Once you get in a funk it’s hard to get out. Every now and then I would sneak a look back at her. She was drained, her eyes sunken, hooves dragging. Every now and then she would furrow her brow, no doubt due to unwanted thoughts. Just as soon as they would appear she would relax once again. I’ve been frustrated before. I believe everybody has. We all have our ways of coping with it. Even so, we often try to hide it, especially around other ponies. Our feelings compress until they implode; destroying a bit ourselves or something around us. I find that it’s best to let these kinds of things out, you know, relieve pressure. Keep them from fermenting into something truly toxic.
“We’ll stop here.” At this late hour, the great mountain seemed to blend into the sky. We stood underneath the arch created by the base of the mountain, and it’s howlite extension. The howlite thickened as far as I could see upward, but it too disappeared into the snowy sky. There was a large crack in the rock. Any larger and it could have been a real nice cave; as is it can shield us from the wind. “Let’s get a fire going.” There were no trees nearby so we had to carry some wood from the first camp. I had the sack this time around. “Can you get this going for us? I’m just gonna have a quick look around outside.”
“...” Her movements were slow, but she wasn’t arguing.
This time around I won’t put down so many of those runes. Not that I could anyway. We’ve been walking on a slight incline since this morning. It feels like my shins are about to snap. Is this why my brother always tells me to stretch? I’ll have to ask him to show me some when I get back.
The wind was beginning to pick up. I couldn’t even see the crack behind me. I kept walking until eventually bumped into it; the howlite from earlier. The stone was milky white and smooth to the touch, like a marble with a tiny coat of oil that doesn’t stick to the finger. Usually, they have thick brown or black veins but the black streaks on this one were barely noticeable. I started to chip away at a weaker portion with the only we had left blade. It was hard to get a good strike because the edge of the blade tended to slide after impact. One swing found a crevice. Once stuck, I started hammering the pommel until chiseled a decent chunk off. I’d be lying if this wasn’t part of the reason I reluctantly accepted this job. While not exactly magically potent, there is a faint aura that can be used to relieve stress and anxiety. So faint in fact it might just be mumbo jumbo, but that’s not as important as its aesthetic. It’ll make a great gift. Might as well get one for myself as well. Maybe run some tests on the aura. When I found mine I tried to feel around for more crevices to shimmy a few more samples. Even with my horn’s light, I couldn’t find one before the chill started getting towards my fingertips.
A faint orange light guided my way back. Guess she got the fire going. When I walked back in she was sitting by the fire. She had her legs up to her chest and rested her chin onto her knees. Her eyes had a somber look as they reflected the light from the flames. I sat down on the same side as her, facing the entrance, and started pulling the small tin from my left pouch.
“You hungry?”
“...”
I shook the tin. Her eyes reacted at least. “There’s only a few left, you can have them if you want.” She lifted her head and grabbed the tin with both hands. It was hard to make out her face. It was almost sad, but it still had enough energy to glance in my direction for a brief moment before staring back at the tin. She pulled a disk out and started chewing. Her expression didn’t change. Honestly, I wanted them, but she seemed to really like it last time and I can’t have her sulking so close to the end.
For a while, the only noise that could be heard was the sound of her slow, almost silent chewing.
“Do you like games?” I said, rather abruptly. She didn’t respond, but at least was looking in my direction. “Well if you don’t say no, then I am just going to assume you do.” I started drawing a rectangle in between us, with one short side near her and the other near me. It was divided into five equal-sized squares. I then picked up several pebble-sized stones around the cave. I gave her a handful and then kept some for myself. She wasn’t amused but she didn’t drop the pebbles either. “Rules are simple. Using one pebble at a time per turn, you try to land your pebble into one of the squares.” I threw a pebble. She saw it bounce out of the rectangle. I threw another one, this time landing in the square second closest to myself “Once it lands in a square it’s yours and can’t be taken away from you. However, your opponent can do anything in their power, short of them physically touching you or the pebble with their body, to disrupt your throw. Moves are only valid if the pebble is in motion. The player with the most squares at the end wins.”
“...” She continued to stare at the squares. Maybe I should sweeten the deal.
“Tell you what,” I pulled out my journal, my personal chip of howlite and a small bag of bits; only about 10 bits I would guess. “...if you win, you can have any of these three things. Think about it, you could have access to an amazing reservoir of your Master’s knowledge,” Her eye twitched. “or maybe some cash for a rainy day,” Her face is started to loosen up. “Or a rock!” She moved her hand to cover her mouth. She was trying to be sly but could see the bending of her cheeks. “But before you go thinking this is some freeroll, you have to put something on the table too. So, what do you got, Lulamoon.”
“...Well…” Looks like the fish took a bite. She pulled a deck of cards from one of her pouches, followed by a piece of paper with her name written several times on it and...a blueberry?
“May I look at the paper and the cards?” She handed them to me very cautiously. Yep. She had been practicing her signature in different styles over and over again on this paper. I couldn’t help but grin.
“Don’t laugh…” she said in a defeated sigh. “...It’s gonna be worth something someday…”
“And this?” I held up the deck of cards. It wasn’t a full bicycle, but the remaining cards had work done to them. She was drawing over the old designs and putting her own personal spin on them. And by that I mean she was on almost every card.
“...It’s a work in progress…”
“Alrighty then, I’ve made my decision.” I handed them back to her. “What about you?”
“...What’s that rock…”
“Ahhh, I see you have a very discerning eye!” Time to put on a little show. “This, as you have ascertained, is no ordinary rock. No, this rock has magical properties. It emits an a magical field that cleanses its owner of inner woes! Are you bothered? Maybe angry? Clear your mind with this! Warning these claims have not been backed or verified by any reputable source.” She smiled after that last bit. Mother used to do this when I was down. I always thought it was silly.
“Ok, I know what I want.” But is it really silly if it works?
“Alright, let’s play. Yours truly will have the first throw.” I purposely missed the first throw, but it is by no means wasted. It’s an invitation really. A humor me kind of play.
She watched my stone bounce out of the square second closest to her. There was a faint glow on her face as she twisted her pebble in her hand. “Your turn, Lulamoon.”
With some haste, she tossed the rock high into the air in an arc towards my side. It bounced off the square second closest to myself before resting in the farthest corner of the square closest to me. She smirked and looked up toward me.
“Don’t let it get to your head, we’ve just started.” This time I flicked the pebble off my thumb, it landed in the middle of the square second closest to her. “Your turn.” Our eyes met again. She’s accepted the challenge wholly. Time to have a little fun.
She fixed her eyes towards the square in the center. Just before the toss, I struck.
“LOOK IT OUT IT’S BEHIND YOU!”
“Ah! Wha-”
“Oh, it’s just your shadow.” Her pebble landed outside of the rectangle. “My turn again, eh?” Oh. She didn’t seem to like that. “Don’t make that face Lulamoon, you knew the rules.” Let’s see if I can’t get you going again. I prepped my throw and swung my arm.
“There’s something-”
“-behind me?” I said. She stopped the second I halted the motion. “Come on, only an idiot falls for something like that.” I swung my arm again. She opened her mouth but didn’t say anything when I held my throw for the second time. She looked annoyed. “Really?” This can’t be all you have. “And after all this talk over the last couple days,” I flicked the pebble as I locked my eyes on hers. “This is really the best you could do?” One bounce. Two bounces. Thre- what? Something just hit my leg. It is a card. With my pebble? A queen of hearts except the queen’s face has been scribbled away and replaced with a caricature of herself. When did she… I looked back at her. Her eyebrow was raised and a devilish little grin pushed up her left cheek. She held one of the cards from the deck in her hand with two fingers; her palm facing toward me as well as the thin side of a card. As if to mock me she twirled her right wrist and rolled her fingers. Suddenly, the card in her hand was gone. “How did you slide the card-”
“Are we gonna talk or are we gonna play.”
“...We’re gonna play.”
“Well, you better start, cause it’s your turn and I’ve got the lead.”
“What?” I looked down at the rectangle. Another pebble had been placed in the square closest to her. How? When did...ah. I may not know how but I do know when. She blocked my strike when I was reading her face, and then she made her move when I was looking at the card. I guess I got caught up in the fun and she saw her opportunity. Now, how do I proceed? Maybe I could…
“What’s the matter? Starting to realize something? Maybe that you bit off a little more than you can chew?” Yeah I could try that. “Is the Great and Powerful Trixie just a little too much for you? I completely understand if you feel like giving up, I mean how could you have known what you were getting-”
“I’ve got to admit, you played me well.”
“...Yeah, that’s right.”
“I should’ve known better.”
“...Yeah…are you tired or something?” What’s the matter, Trixie? Not the response you were expecting? Now to play it up.
“I’ll just never be as good...why do I even bother?” Here’s where the fun really starts. “It’s just…*sniff*...I’ve never had much luck you know?” It helps to play to the tune of a song that they know. “It always feels like the world is pushing you down, and no matter how hard you try you can’t lift yourself back up.”
“Hey...it’s just a game. I wasn’t trying to...”
“*sniff*...yeah, I know… It’s not the game...you just never know when it’s gonna flare up, you know? One minute you feel okay and then you’re just...drowning…”
“It’s fine. We don’t have to keep going if you don’t want-” Now for my favorite part.
“OH WOE IS ME!” It helps to dig your hands into your mane for dramatic effect; really scratch in there. “I AM BUT A DESOLATE SOUL! FORCED TO WALK THIS WORLD OF MISERY!”
She’s startled. Not only am I obnoxiously loud, but I started standing, inching myself toward her side.
“OKAY! You need to calm down you are starting to freak me out!”
“WHAT’S THE POINT!” Step. By. Step. “I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE!” Almost there.
“I know you are having a rough time! But you need to BACK OFF!” Now! I dropped to my knees and lurched forward. I fell completely silent. It slipped through my mane. Everything was quiet save for the crashing bounce of a small round object hitting the floor. I couldn’t help but smile a fiendish smile. My eagerness got the better of me. I couldn’t help but look up at her face. Mouth agape, the tinge of disgust in her eyes, all wrapped up in a little bow of indignant confusion.
“Your move, Great and Powerful Trixie.”
One square left. The center square. Now that I know your game what can you do? Come on Lulamoon, show me what you got.
“You’re awful. You’re actually the worst the colt I have ever met.” She started twisting the pebble in her hand.
“You’re gonna have to try harder if you want to hurt my feelings.”
“I don’t think you have feelings.”
“...Why would you say something like that...”
“Ugh, please.” She’s crossed her arms. Notice the small details, Arcane. “And what exactly are you looking at! Eyes up here.”
“Yeah, you would want that wouldn’t you.”
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, what’s you’re trick?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Get your mind out of the gutter, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” The bashful look in her eyes disappeared; replaced by piercing daggers.
“...You’re not winning this game.”She said.
“And why is that?”
“Because you’ve already lost.”
“You’re bluffing.” She’s bluffing.
“You don’t know that.” I looked down. The square was still bare. When I looked away, she had taken her arms out from under her armpits. They were empty. Her grin was back.
“What’s the matter, something missing?”
Damn it! You messed up Arcane. You let your guard down and she got one by you. No! Look away! Don’t let her see your frustration.
“It’s not over yet, your pebble is not in play.”
“It doesn’t matter where it is, just where it’s going to be.” I grabbed my journal and opened it. If I am quick enough I should be able to deflect any throws. Look around Arcane. What can she do? Hmmm. Has her hat always been there? On the floor next to the play area; how long has it been sitting there? The entire edge of the rim sat flatly on the ground save for one spot. It was slightly pinched upward as if pressure was only applied to that particular spot. Did she… but when could she have? She wouldn’t have had time, right? But she’s quick with her hands. I’m going to have to bait it out. I looked back at her. Still smug. I glanced back at the hat, this time making it very obvious that I have noticed the impression in the hat. I looked back. Her smugness is gone.
“Jackpot.”
“...”
I launched myself at the hat and threw it into the air. I scanned as quickly as I could. Nothing. I looked back at her. She began her swing; it was on her the whole time. It was a fake-out. Smart, but not smart enough, Lulamoon. I immediately moved my hand onto my journal and thrust it just above the square. That’s when I felt it. A light bounce on one of the pages. Sorry, Lulamoon, I was prepared.
“It was a good try, but I’ve been around the block. I was never gonna fall for- what’s this?” A blueberry? It’s the same one she brought out earlier. “Where’s the pebble?” I dropped my journal. “All this work, for nothing?”
“...It wasn’t supposed to happen like that…”
“Then how was it supposed to go?” I stood up. I’m not sure why. I guess I don’t know what I was expecting. Did I overestimate her? Calm down. It’s just a game. A game that’s still live, though.
“Geez, are you ok?”
“Huh? Yeah… yeah. I don’t know I guess I was just expecting...something else to happen.” She reached down to grab the blueberry and placed it back into her sleeve. I started looking around again to see where she might attack from. It wasn’t in the hat, and there’s nowhere else nearby that she could have hidden it. It must be on her person. I just gotta figure out where.
“By the way, I win.”
“You said that already.”
“Yeah, but this time I mean it.”
“Oh? Yet another convoluted ruse to-” Sweet Celestia, it’s in the square. The pebble is in the square. I went down on my knees to inspect it. When? When did she put it there? I’ve been looking at her this whole time, how could she have… “The sleeve.”
“Yep.”
“It was in your sleeve the whole time. In that little pouch mechanism.”
“Uh-huh.” That grin was back.
“You switched the blueberry out with the pebble when you reached down to pick it up. That’s against the rules. It wasn’t a throw.”
“Don’t get technical.” She aimed the palm of her hand toward her other hand and demonstrated the pouch’s slingshot action. Practically silent
“Springs?”
“Look at you, putting it all together.”
“And so the hat and the throw were-”
“Misdirections.” There was nothing else I could do. There it was. Game over. I couldn’t help but savor the moment. I was completely defeated.
“Hahaha! Alright! You got me! I acknowledge the defeat. I’ll have to make the rules a little more exciting next time.”
“You can twist them all you want, It’s not gonna help.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“A promise.”
“Let’s put a pin in it for now! Haha!” I haven’t had a good laugh like that in a while. I might have needed it. Both of us really. Anything to keep our minds off what ails us. “Alright, What’s it gonna be.”
She quieted down again, but not like before. She wasn’t her usual brooding self. She looked like she had a happy song stuck in her head. She took a moment to take in the spread of “precious” treasures in front of her. Her fingers played while she slightly nudged her head side to side. Another moment more and she reached for her prize.
She brought it close to her face and smiled something genuine. The little white stone delicately rolled around her fingertips. After a while it sat still in her palm; the somber look returned to her face.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“You know...This. The jokes. The games. How do you keep...calm, I guess.”
“How do I keep calm?”
“I mean, you’re sitting there playing this game, but your arm is broken. We almost died today...again.”
“You forgot the real kicker. I’m stuck out here with you.” She didn’t laugh at that one.
“...”
“Well, I’ll tell you right now that your problems won’t go away because of some stone. There’s no magic that can fix everything. Trust me.”
“Then how do you do it?” It’s hard to answer questions like these. Those who ask usually want to hear something they like, but that is rarely the case. “How do you keep going?”
“If I’m being honest, Lulamoon, I don’t really know.” And I meant it. “You’re right you know. I should be worried. This fire could go out and we could freeze tonight and that would be it. Tomorrow isn’t promised to me, to any of us actually...”
“Then what’s the point. Even if I get this money I’m just going to go back to square one. Quick shows for scraps; a place to stay for the night If I’m lucky. Nothing’s gonna change.”
“You keep telling yourself the next thing you do will be the thing that fixes everything, right?” I know that feeling well. “The big leap that’s gonna set you up for life. No more worries, your future, your oyster.”
“And I actually get my hopes up every time...” She placed the howlite onto the floor and pressed a single finger against it. “And every time, something gets in the way.”
“Then what do you do?”
“Nothing, I guess.”
“I don’t believe that. If you did nothing each time you wouldn’t be here right now. You would have given up a long time ago.” Her attention returned to me. “So, what do you do?” Her eyes dropped to the floor again. Another moment snuck by before she spoke again.
“I just cycle back. I tell myself the next ones going to be better...That I’ll make it work. It used to work fine. But now it just feels like I’m...I don’t know…”
“Lying?”
“Maybe.” I know I’ve felt similar at one point. It feels like something is stolen from you each time you wake up. The feeling becomes familiar, a routine. Something to expect, something natural, something that must be burdened. But, who says we have to?
“Trixie.”
“Mmhmm.”
“How long have you been on the road like this?”
“Like what?” A tinge of dejection weighed on her.
“Alone. How long have you been on this little cirque of yours?”
“Oh, the shows. Ever since I started, I guess.”
“How long?”
“Don’t worry about it.” I shouldn’t press her too hard.
“Alright then. Then let me ask you this. When’s the last time you’ve gone out to eat.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Just curious.”
“Then you’ll excuse me if I don’t feel like sharing.”
“So you haven’t.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Got it, table for one.”
“Shut up…” She leaned forward, crossed her arms and rested them on top of her knees. Her forehead rested where her forearms crossed. Her voice got lower, almost inaudible, but I couldn’t tell you if it was because of the conversation or the exhaustion.
“...Trixie, I’m gonna tell you something and you might want to listen.” She didn’t move. “I hate this. This whole situation. Like you said, I’ve nearly died. My arms broken. I would love to be back in Canterlot tending to my garden, but I’d even settle to suffer through the obnoxious, redundant, self-congratulatory bile that comes out of the mouths of certain ponies plaguing the royal courts. So long as I was home.” Her ears perked slightly into my direction. “Yes, now is my chance. I can leave right now and not go back. All my problems solved, like magic. I could move out to the countryside. Maybe find a little barren piece of dirt somewhere to work with, to toil on. My own little paradise filled with the fruits of my labor; alone with my thoughts.” I could feel myself getting lost in my own words.
“That sounds pretty good…”
“It does, doesn’t?”
“Do it.”
“I should. I would be very happy.”
“Nothing’s stopping you-”
“-But myself.”
“Then why are you still here?” she asked. She brought her head back up. Her lilac eyes stared deep into my own. I leaned in closer.
“Come closer, it’s my little secret.”
“There’s no one else here.”
“Humor me.” She raised an eyebrow. She came a little closer, but her hesitation tells me she doesn’t want to get closer than she needs too.. “Well, I can’t tell you if you’re all the way over there.”
“Ugh…” She leaned her head in closer to mine; keeping her torso well out of arm’s reach.
“Just what kind of opinion do you have of me?”
“Hurry up.”
“Right, right…” I leaned my head closer to her ear. I opened my mouth; making sure to hold this position for dramatic effect. Her ears were focused on me. Her fingers were tapping the rock she was sitting on and she was fidgeting slightly from holding her body like this. I think I’ll let the fun continue for now.
“I...I...I’ll tell you tomorrow, Lulamoon.”
“For Celestias’s sake, what the hell is the matter with you!? Does this get you off or something?”
“HAHAHA! Or something, Lulamoon! Or something!” I leaned back and fell onto the rocky floor. Laughter is a great painkiller. “If you keep pouting like that your face is gonna stick in your sleep! Haha!” She stood up quickly and wrapped herself in her cloak. She tossed her hat to the ground and pressed her head against it, making sure to face in the opposite direction. “Awww! Don’t be like that. I’m a man of my word, I’ll tell you tomorrow, ok?”
“Whatever… go to bed already.”
She left some of her cards outside their pouch. Maybe I’ll take a look at them again before I go to bed. Could make for some cheap entertainment.
“Of course, Irate and Poutiful Trixie.” I’ll just leave her with that. One more day and I can head back home. Hopefully, I won’t be late. It’ll still take a week and a half to get back by cart. Not to mention the trek back to the Hayden. Do they have a proper doctor? I need to get this arm looked at before I go. Eh, one thing at a time.