Shit.
Things might have gotten out of hand.
Sunset Shimmer barely registered getting in the car, starting the engine, and driving herself and Wallflower home. She swore she could still hear the crying child beneath Wallflower’s triumphant exclamations of “Fuck!” “Shit!” and other profanities. Though Sunset had endured more than her fair share of trauma—in two different realities, no less—she had never appreciated the phrase “thousand-yard stare” prior to tonight.
“I fucking love this goddamn bunny!” Wallflower squeezed her prize tight, snuggling into its thick warmth. “If anything happened to him, I would literally die!” Her eyes widened on Sunset. “I would literally die, Sunset!”
“Uh-huh,” Sunset muttered, eyes wide as saucers—but not focused on Wallflower. Or the road, really.
Holding the bunny up to meet her eyes, Wallflower beamed. “My first ever stuffed animal! I’m gonna name you Chad, Respecter of Women!” After hugging Chad, she added, “He doesn’t afraid of anything, not even my mom!”
Sunset blew through a red light. “Mhm.”
“Um, hey, so…”
This time, Sunset noticed the stop sign. “Uh huh?” she replied, still staring straight ahead.
“So… I’ve been thinking about something Rainbow Dash told me…” As Wallflower trailed off, Sunset felt her lean in closer. “A-and I, um…” A shaky, yet warm hand found its way atop Sunset’s thigh. “Was wondering i-if we could… um… talk about it tonight? Ifyouwanttoofcourse.”
Any other time, Sunset’s reaction to her girlfriend’s hand resting there, alongside wanting to “talk” about something later, would have set off so many sapphic alarm bells that they could be heard from the island of Lesbos itself. Given that the evening had culminated in Wallflower Blush dabbing on a sobbing child, though, taking that next step in their relationship was… not exactly at the top of the priority list.
“Yeah…” Sunset said slowly, finally pulling the car into their parking lot. “We really need to talk.”
“Holy bitch sauce!” Swirling a tortilla chip into a lake of queso, Wallflower shouted, “This is the best queso dip I’ve ever had! Ever!”
“Holy… bitch sauce?” Eyebrows raised, Sunset looked up from her burrito. “Uh, what does that mean, exactly?”
“Who knows?” Wallflower shoved another chip, dripping with cheese, into her mouth. “I sure as fuck don’t! But who cares? It’s delicious!”
Normally, Sunset would be inclined to agree, likely with a giggle and a bright smile. Tonight, she could only busy herself with pretending to take another bite of her burrito, though she was no longer hungry. Ordering delivery was all she could think to do once they got home, too distracted to cook. Although she was internally debating how to address the… dabbing incident… Wallflower was none the wiser. She was more than happy to try a new restaurant, not even questioning why Sunset had changed their dinner plans.
What otherwise would have been silence was peppered with Wallflower powering through her own chips and tacos. The third chair at their small dining table was occupied by Chad, Respecter of Women. Sunset didn’t even have the heart to make a joke about his presence, let alone his name, when her mind was racing like this.
After what happened at the arcade, something needed to be said. Might as well get it over with.
“Wally…” Slowly, Sunset looked up from her food to meet Wallflower’s eyes. Doing her best to sound neutral, she began, “I’ve noticed you’ve been… swearing a lot lately.”
A rainfall of crumbs tumbled from Wallflower’s chips-and-cheese stuffed cheeks. After quickly swallowing, she replied, “I know! Isn’t it great?”
“Well, actually—"
“It’s just been so…” A wide smile curled across Wallflower’s lips. “Liberating, y’know? I mean…” She traced idle circles on the table with a finger. "It's just like you said, she can't hurt me anymore. Swearing helps me remind myself of that. Whenever my stupid brain starts being stupid, I can just—"
"Wally, you're not stupid—"
"—shout FUCK, and I feel better! Honestly, it works so well that I'm wondering if we should just cancel that therapy appointment you made for me."
Sunset frowned. "I don't think that's—"
"I used to be Wallflower Blush, the sad little loser afraid of her mom, but now…" Wallflower pounded the table, rattling the plate before her. "I'm Wallflower Blush, the girl who swears all the goddamn time!"
Sunset fell silent. This was definitely not going how she planned.
With a small sigh, Wallflower shook her head. “And yeah, there’s still a lot of things that I’m afraid of, and things that she did that hurt me, but…” She reached for Sunset’s hand. “I can just say bad words and not have to think about it! Whenever I feel scared, I can swear as much as I want and I don't have to feel anxious for a while.” She gave Sunset’s hand a gentle squeeze. "And I have you to thank for that.”
Dread chilled down Sunset’s spine. At seeing those beautiful brown eyes, brimming with happy tears, and that sparkling smile, which glowed with a confidence and security never seen or felt before…
This wasn't the right time to talk about this. Not now. Sunset couldn't take this moment away from her. There were real concerns that they needed to address. Real limits to Wallflower's newfound confidence that needed to be discussed. But right now?
Right now, Sunset would rather jump off a building than shatter that smile.
And so, Sunset plastered on a smile to match Wallflower’s. “That’s great, Wally.” She squeezed her hand back. “I’m just… so happy that you’re happy.”
The look they shared was one that should’ve made Sunset’s heart soar. Instead, it made it sink like a stone into the icy depths of an uncertain sea. When the moment was right, that talk was not going to be easy. Sunset needed to choose a time where both of them were in the right headspace, whatever that was.
To make matters worse, Sunset felt Wallflower’s other hand come to rest on her thigh again. “S-so, um…” A bright blush cascaded across Wallflower’s cheeks. “About that talk I mentioned…”
Oh no. Speaking of bad timing...
“Uh…!” Mind scrambling, Sunset struggled to come up with any reasonable excuse that wouldn't shatter their hopes and dreams. Especially Wallflower’s, who before today had always seemed frightened by the very prospect of intimacy. As much as Sunset wanted to lean into her touch and see where the night took them, this was definitely not the right time.
Cheeks flushed, Sunset continued to stutter. “I… uhh…” In a snap, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m—period. Perioding!” She stood up from the table, legs crossed. “I, um... I’m perioding! Right now!”
“What does that even—ohhhh.” Wallflower withdrew her hand. “Okay.” Then, she tilted her head. “Wait, didn’t you have that last week? Are you okay?”
Before Wallflower could question further, Sunset called out, “I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM," and rushed into it, slamming the door behind her.
Well aware that pretending that she was on her period could only buy her a few more days, Sunset spent her rare bits of free time between school, shifts at work and everything else thinking over what the best way would be to curb Wallflower's new habit without ripping away her newfound confidence as well.
Today, she pondered the issue even while at work. The clothing store wasn't the biggest step up from working at the sushi place, but at least it smelled better. Plus, she didn't have to wear that ridiculous uniform.
While she mindlessly folded jeans and placed them on a display shelf, Sunset's mind puzzled over the problem again and again.
It was clear from the events at the arcade that Wallflower wasn't aware of just how much her behavior was escalating. Cursing in public wouldn't be too much of a problem if it was sparse and necessary. Dabbing on a sobbing child, however…
If Sunset hadn't seen it for herself, she would have never believed Wallflower would have behaved so thoughtlessly. Then again, perhaps this was the first time in her entire life that Wallflower had been allowed to think about herself at all. She was just going a bit overboard with it, that was all. Surely once Sunset pointed this out, she would draw back and—
"Sunset?"
The voice of her boss, Miss Couture, pulled Sunset from her thoughts. She turned around to face her. "Yes?"
Miss Couture passed her a clipboard. "When you're done folding those, can you do inventory for the junior section?"
Sunset held back a sigh. Doing inventory would take another couple of hours. Hopefully she would be able to get off work before it got too late. She didn't want another reason to put off that conversation at home. At least more mindless work could help her brainstorm.
"Sure thing." Sunset set down the last pair of folded jeans. "Anything else I need to do before my shift's over?"
Miss Couture shook her head. "Just don't forget to set the alarm before you leave, okay?" The sound of a bell ringing at the front of the store caught her attention. "I'll get that." She waved Sunset off. "Go ahead and get started on—"
Suddenly, Sunset was grabbed from behind by a pair of weak nerd arms. "Wha—?"
"Hi, Sunset!" Nuzzling her hair, Wallflower squeezed her tight. "It's me! Your girlfriend! Who you love!"Â
"Aww…" Hands clasped together, Miss Couture regarded the couple with a smile. "How cute! But work while you talk please, Sunset. I don't pay you to flirt." She then left them to tend to the customer who had entered the store.
"W-Wally!" Sunset moved her hands down to hold Wallflower's, where they were wrapped tightly around her waist. "What are you—I mean, when did you get here?"
Giving her another squeeze, Wallflower giggled. "Oh, I've been here for a while!" Still pressed against her back, she kissed Sunset's cheek. "I tried to get your attention earlier, but you were kinda staring off into space."
"Oh…" Sunset cringed. "Sorry."
"No sorries!" Wallflower playfully tapped Sunset's nose. "No sorries allowed. Those dresses were pretty fuckin' cool, huh?"
Glancing over in her boss's direction, Sunset was relieved to note that neither she nor the customer had apparently heard Wallflower. Or, at least, they didn't seem bothered by her. "Uh…" Sunset looked at the discount rack beside the jeans she had been folding. Sure enough, there were dresses on it. "Uh, yeah. They're pretty cute."
"You're pretty cute!" Wallflower untangled herself from Sunset, then walked over to the rack. "Did you want one for yourself? Is that why you were staring at them?" Before Sunset could reply, she went starry-eyed. "Oh, did you want one for me?!"
Sunset rubbed the back of her neck. "Um, w-well—"
Twirling around, Wallflower began excitedly rifling through the rack. "I've never had a dress before! Mom never let me have one!" She shuffled through various dresses, occasionally pulling one out to look at. "She always said I'd look like a slut. Isn't that fucking ridiculous?"
Another nervous glance at the other side of the store, while clear, failed to calm Sunset's nerves. "Heh, yeah." She moved closer to Wallflower. "Hey, babe, maybe you could keep your voice down—?"
"Oooh!" Wallflower grabbed a dress and held it in front of her. "Look at this one!" The dress was a long, flowy mint-green garment with lattice around the bust and a row of emerald sequins along the hem. At just the right angle, the sequins caught the light and sparkled.
"That is really pretty, but—"
"Can you imagine me wearing this?" Wallflower draped it over herself. "What if I wore it to that big pony party dance thing you told me they have where you're from? I'd be the glitziest bitch at that gala!"
After looking over her shoulder, Sunset muttered, "Wally, could you please—"
"What the fuck?!" Holding the price tag, Wallflower scoffed, "Two hundred dollars?! That's fucking insane! Who comes up with this shit?!" She threw the dress back on the rack. "That's more than every fucking outfit I own! Which admittedly isn't a lot, but still! What the fuck!"
Between frantic glances back at Miss Couture and the other customer at the front of the store, Sunset tried to shush her. To no avail. Wallflower continued looking through the dresses with equal parts profanity and envy, all while Sunset tried her best to check on her boss and get Wallflower to calm down.
Once Wallflower had seemed to have gone through all the dresses, Sunset put an arm around her. "Well hon, it was real… nice of you to visit me at work, but I need to finish a few things before I can clock off." She steered her towards the door. "Why don't you head on home and I'll—"
"But I thought we could ride home together!" Frowning, Wallflower reached for Sunset's hand. "I walked here all the way from class."
Though seeing Wally crestfallen made Sunset hesitate, she had to get Wallflower to leave. It was only by some strange stroke of luck that her boss hadn't already stormed over and kicked Wallflower out herself; she'd seen other customers banned from the store for less. This wasn't some big box store with mass-produced clothing literally falling apart at the seams. This was a high-end, designer label—one that expected better from its clientele and its workers.Â
Realizing that she had fallen silent, Sunset shook off her thoughts and turned back to Wallflower. "I have at least two hours left. How about you take the bus home and I'll try to grab some takeout once I'm off?"
Wallflower's eyes lit up. "Pizza?"
Sunset held back a sigh. "I'll do my best, Wally."
"Fuck yeah!" Wallflower cheered. She wrapped Sunset up in another hug. "I fucking love you, you know that?"
More concerned with looking behind them than returning the hug, Sunset replied, "I-I love you, too, Wally. Now…" Abruptly, she broke their embrace and shuffled Wallflower to the door. "Don't miss the bus, okay? I'll see you at home."
Oblivious to her obvious discomfort, Wallflower just smiled. "Okay! See you soon!" After a quick peck to Sunset's lips, she was off.
At last, Sunset let loose a breath she very much knew she'd been holding. Shaking her head, she picked up the clipboard she'd left with the jeans, then made her way to the junior section. Up front, she heard Miss Couture check out the customer at the register. While the transaction was completed, Sunset started on the inventory. Rather than rush through it, she took her time, distracted by both her earlier dilemma and Wallflower's surprise.
Tonight had been the first time Wallflower had visited her at work. Other than an occasional bus ride home, Wallflower never went anywhere by herself. Especially after dark. Such ventures always made Wallflower anxious. Tonight should have been something to celebrate—a new milestone.
Instead, Sunset had been the one anxious the entire time. Literally looking over her shoulder.
Sighing, she took a break from the inventory sheet. How Wallflower had sworn that much without Miss Couture hearing, Sunset would never—
"Miss Shimmer."
Icy dread coiled its tendrils through Sunset's stomach. That was not Miss Couture's "happy to see you" voice.
Sunset turned around, fidgeting with her clipboard. "Y-yes, Miss Couture?"
A stern frown on her face, her supervisor said, "We need to have a talk about you bringing visitors to work."
By the time Sunset made it home, she was exhausted. She fumbled with the key, her hands shaking. Gritting her teeth, she finally made the damn lock turn. Before she opened the door, she took a long, slow, deep breath.
As painful as this was going to be, it had to be done. It had to be done tonight. No more excuses.Â
Envisioning the conversation that lay before her, Sunset almost contemplated going back to the car. Not to drive anywhere. Just to sit. And think. And put this off.
Sighing, Sunset steeled the last shred of her resolve, then opened the door.
"Hi, Sunset!" The enthusiastic greeting should've brought a smile to her face.
Rather than paint on a smile, Sunset just closed the door behind her. "Hi, Wally," she said half-heartedly.
If Wallflower was phased, she didn't show it. Instead, she was sprawled across the couch, phone in hand, some colorful cartoon show on the TV screen. With a stretch and a yawn, she rolled over so she was looking directly at Sunset. "You're sure home late! Was traffic really shitty or what?"
There was that cute little giggle that never failed to make Sunset light up before.
Tonight was an exception.Â
"No…" Sunset took off her boots and jacket, then left them in their place beside the door. "Traffic was pretty much gone by the time I got off work."
Wallflower shrugged. "Huh." With nary a speck of grace, she rolled back over, eyes back on the screens. As she did so, she scooted closer to one end of the couch. When Sunset didn't move, Wallflower patted the freed seat beside her and gave a playful waggle of her eyebrows.
Hint received, understood… delayed with just one more deep sigh.
This time, Wallflower heard her. "Everything okay, hon?"
"No," Sunset said again, both slower and more forcefully this time. She took her seat, then folded her hands in her lap.
"Oh." After sitting up, Wallflower turned to face her. "What's wrong?" she asked, reaching for Sunset's hand.
For the first time that she could remember, Sunset didn't reciprocate.
Wallflower must have remembered, too. She instantly pulled away, then looked at the floor, rubbing one palm over the other.
"...Please talk to me," Wallflower whispered, once the silence grew too thick and heavy and all-encompassing.
Sunset knew it. She felt it too. The alternative to staying silent was burning with anger, and she'd be damned if she let her temper show. Not here, not now. Not to Wallflower. Wallflower had just broken free of someone who terrified her; Sunset would not allow herself to become someone her girlfriend had to fear.
"Wally."
Slowly, timidly, Wallflower met her eyes.
Sunset hated how they looked. How she made them look.
"Wally…" Sunset heaved a deep sigh. "We need to talk."
"...We're talking right now." Wallflower's voice was quiet, uncertain. As if she thought she'd shatter something precious if she spoke too loudly.
But she was not the one with that power. Sunset knew this too, and hated herself for it.
She still had to do this. She had to.
"That's not what I mean." Sunset sighed. "Do you know why I was late getting home tonight?"
Wallflower silently shook her head.
"Miss Couture pulled me aside to talk after you left."
"Who?"
"She's my boss," Sunset said. "She was there when you first snuck up on me."
"Oh." Wallflower fidgeted with her hair. "Okay."
"She told me I'm not allowed to have visitors at work anymore. Not you, not Rarity, no one." A bit of an edge crept into Sunset's voice. "If anyone comes by to see me, I have to tell them to leave immediately."
"What?" Wallflower scoffed. "Wow, Miss Couture sounds like a huge bitch."
Sunset's jaw hurt from how hard she bit back a swear of her own. "She's not, actually. She's not the problem here, Wallflower."
Silence hung heavy in the room as Sunset waited for Wallflower to connect the dots. "So… so it's my fault?"
"Of course it is!" The outburst slipped out before Sunset could think. In her head, she berated herself for it. The way Wallflower flinched definitely didn't help.
"I… I don't understand." Wallflower's voice was quiet, almost dull. "What did I do wrong?"
"You really don't know?" Sunset could barely stop herself from shouting. "You came into a luxury boutique and started swearing like a sailor, Wally! Nobody wants to hear that!"
"But I… You said…" In Wallflower's soft brown eyes, Sunset could see the gears turning, meshing and jamming as she apparently tried to piece together what should've been the most obvious thing in the world. Finally, she managed, "Isn't that what you wanted? I… I thought that's what you wanted!"Â
Sunset rolled her eyes. "I wanted you to do something your mom wouldn't let you do, not parade around in public cursing out anything and everything you see!"
"Well, I'm sorry!" If Wallflower was trying to shout, it wasn't working. All that came out was a choked-up cry. "I only do that so much because I have to, Sunset! If I don't, then I'm back to being the same useless loser my mom was so eager to get rid of!"
"Please don't do that." Sunset rubbed at her temples. "Don't just turn around and use this as a reason to hate yourself."
"It's my fault though!" Growing louder, Wallflower's voice cracked with the strain. "I got you in trouble! I made you uncomfortable!" Red-faced and shaking, she continued, seemingly talking more to herself than Sunset, "How many other people have hated being around me the past few weeks because I-I was too much of an idiot to think about anyone but myself?! I was stupid and selfish and—"
Sunset's hand smacked on the coffee table, rattling Wallflower's milk glass and cereal bowl. "Would you fucking stop that?!" Sunset shouted. "Stop talking about yourself like that! S-stop—"
Suddenly, Sunset realized what she had done, and fell deathly silent.
Across the couch from her, Wallflower was trembling, tears lining her cheeks. A series of broken, whimpering apologies tumbled from her lips, so soft that they could barely be made out. In an instant, she turned away from Sunset and stared at the floor, making herself small. Silent. Scared.
Sunset buried her face in her hands. They'd only been talking for a few minutes, and she'd already lost her temper.
Just like her.