“Mommy, why don’t I have wings?”
It was a simple question, but it caught Twilight completely off guard. One moment Star Spark looked like he was trying to decide whether to play with a toy, work on his coloring books, or maybe play with one of the plushies Pinkie and Cheese kept sending him, the next moment that question hung in the air.
She mulled over what she was going to tell him. There wasn’t any way to do it without getting into something she wanted to wait several more years to explain, but she also wasn’t going to lie to him. A small smile crossed her face as she thought of how to answer him.
“Well, sweetie, do you know where foals come from?”
His face lit up, his answer bursting out, “They come from mommy’s tummy!”
Twilight had to suppress a giggle at how innocent his response was. There was so much more to it than that, but it was enough for her to explain her point.
“That’s right, very good, but you didn’t come from mine.” Seeing his yellow eyes looking at her in confusion, she continued. “You are my son, never doubt that, but you didn’t come from me. I adopted you when you were just a baby.”
“What’s that?”
It took her a moment to think of how to tactfully explain the concept to such a young pony. “Adoption is when a family looks after another family’s foal if they can’t. They bring them into their homes, their lives, and they love them just like their own. It’s how you came to be my child, and I’m happy you are.”
“Mom, I’m fine!”
“I know, I’m just making sure it stays that way,” Twilight said as a purple light cast over Star Spark. “This would go a lot faster if you’d just hold still.”
He frowned in discontentment as he felt a strong tingle running through him like his whole body had fallen asleep. The urge to shift around from hoof to hoof and wiggle to relieve some of it was too strong to ignore, but it only made these sessions last longer. Finally, mercifully, the light projected from his mother’s horn faded and the tingling stopped.
“There, see? All done, and we don’t have to do another health scan for six months.”
The prospect of having to go through another of these uncomfortable scans at any point in the future made him huff, “How long do I have to keep having these done?”
“Until you reach physical maturity,” Twilight told him matter of factly. “They’re to make sure you’re healthy. You know, as a foal, these used to make you just laugh and laugh and laugh.”
He rolled his eyes at the notion of laughing at the intense tingling her spell caused. “Can you just show me how to do them myself?”
“I could, but we both know you wouldn’t do them, or you wouldn’t probe deep enough because you think it’s uncomfortable.” She reached out and patted his head. “I know you don’t like them, but I promise they’re for a good reason.”
A smirk crossed his face, “To keep you from twilighting?
Her expression soured at that accusation.
“I haven’t done that since you nearly set yourself on fire practicing your immolation spells,” She chided, “If you knew why I was insisting, you wouldn’t think I was being paranoid.”
“Then tell me what it is, mom. I asked my friends and none of their parents do this.” A hint of worry began to creep into his voice, “Is there something wrong with me?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, I promise, you’re perfectly healthy.” She inhaled deeply before letting it out as a sigh. “I suppose you’re old enough to know.”
With a flash of magic a picture appeared in her hooves. She looked at it for a moment before holding it out to him. “Do you recognize the pony in this photo?”
Star Spark was frozen by what he saw. There was a stallion, one that looked nearly identical to him, decked in armor, and standing in what looked like the castle’s throne room. Almost all the Royal Guard ponies had white coats, but this one had the same mane and tail as him, even the same gray muzzle stripe! A million thoughts raced through his mind as he took the photo in his hooves.
“He looks just like me, is that my dad?”
His imagination began to run away with him as he stared at the photo. Was that his father? The armor he was wearing had the accents and coloring that denoted the rank of captain. Was he not adopted and really the illegitimate child of Twilight and this unknown captain? But then why wouldn’t he have seen him anywhere around the castle? Did he have to step down to protect Twilight’s reputation? Did they-
“Star Spark,” hearing his name jolted him from his runaway train of thoughts and brought his focus back to her, “What I’m about to say won’t be easy to understand, but I promise it’s the truth. That pony isn’t your father, it’s you.”
There was a disconnect between hearing those words and processing what they all meant together. “Mom, that’s impossible. He’s a grown pony, a captain, I’m barely into my teens!”
She shook her head, her eyes betraying a sadness in them. “Through magic, all things are possible. One night in the throne room I was attacked, and you were there, but what no one but you knew was that when you were a colt you’d had an enhancement spell cast on you. During the fight it came undone and then everything went bad.”
The weight in Twilight’s eyes grew heavier as she looked at the photo in her son’s hoof. “You were in so much pain and I tried to help you, but it had mixed results. You survived, physically, but the side effects reduced you to a newborn foal without your memories. After two days of nothing but working to get you back, I didn’t make any progress, so I did the next best thing.”
He blinked in surprise when Twilight made the photo vanish from his hooves. “I’ve always been afraid that the enhancement spell being removed would negatively impact your health, that’s why I insist on these checkups.”
“Okay, I understand, but who attacked you, mom?”
Twilight paused, mulling over her answer for a moment. “A misguided pony trapped in a bad situation who didn't see a way out. I don’t know what he was hoping to accomplish, but after the fight was over, he just... Disappeared. Nopony’s seen him since.”
“Was he a bad pony?”
A strong urge to cringe came over her, and Twilight had a hard time fighting it as the awkwardness of his questions pressed on her. “No, I truly believe he wasn’t a bad pony, but he was hurting deeply. I wish he’d come to me sooner, I could’ve at least tried to help him.”
The implications her words had weren’t lost on Star Spark. “Came to you? Did you know him before then?”
While normally she applauded her son’s inquisitive nature, right now she felt herself getting pushed more and more into a corner by it, and she needed to get out.
“Yes, but that’s a story for when you’re older. Right now it’s time for your magic lessons so you don’t almost spontaneously combust your fur again.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it without saying anything when he realized it wouldn’t do any good.
“I hope you enjoyed your party, Star Spark. Li’l Cheese really outdid himself this year.”
The young stallion smiled, the taste of buttercream frosting still faintly noticeable on his tongue. “Yeah, he may even rival his parents at parties these days.”
Twilight returned the amicable expression as they went onto the balcony overlooking Canterlot, and from there much of Equestria, the cool night air gently blowing through their manes.
“I have two gifts left for you. Well, gift isn’t the right word. They’re rightfully yours, I’m just giving them back to you. One moment-”
Before he could ask, her horn lit as the evening sun dipped below the horizon, the moon soon rising to replace it. As it lifted into the sky Star Spark wondered what she could possibly be talking about. He tried to think of possibilities but he was drawing blanks.
He didn’t have long to wait as Twilight soon finished her task and returned her attention to him, the magic around her horn remaining as an envelope appeared in front of him.
Star Spark took it in his hooves and opened it. As he pulled out the contents and examined them, he grew curious. A property deed and a statement? His gaze was immediately drawn to the figure at the bottom, his eyes widening at the amount.
“What the- mom, what is this?”
“They’re yours.” She moved a bit closer. “They’re your bits and finances from before.”
Words failed him as he rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing the right number of zeroes. The amount of bits he’d just received were more than enough to set him for life, but Twilight didn’t let him focus on that for long.
“The second gift is worth more than any amount of bits: it’s the entire truth. I’ve never lied to you, but I haven’t been completely honest, either,” she got down to his level looking him right in the eye. “Sweetheart, the pony who attacked me that night, that was you, or rather it was who you used to be.”
He dropped the letter from his hooves, but Twilight caught it in her magic, teleporting it away for the time being.
“Mom, why?” He struggled to make sense of what she’d just told him. He was the one who attacked her? But in hindsight, it all made perfect sense. She said he was there, not that he protected her, and that afterwards her attacker disappeared, just like he did when he lost his memories, but he wasn’t focused on that. “Why would you lie to me? What else have you lied to me about?”
“I Pinkie Promise that while I have withheld the truth from you, I’ve never lied to you.” Twilight did the motions associated with the immutable promise, hoping it would convince him.
Even with the assurance of a Pinkie Promise he was still unsettled. “Why would you keep this from me, mom? Is there anything else you’ve kept from me?”
“No, I just didn’t want you to live your life dwelling on it and wondering why before everything was ready. Yes, I kept things from you, but I’m not going to hide anything anymore. But why tell you, when I can show you?”
Once again magic enveloped her horn and a small sphere of light appeared between them. It lit the balcony with a warm glow, and on the front of it was a marking he didn’t recognize. It looked like a pony being protected by a shield.
For the second time that night, Star Spark was at a loss as to what he was seeing. “What’s that?”
“Your memories, the ones you lost.” Twilight looked proud and relieved all at once. “It’s taken me over twenty years to find a workaround, but I finally figured out a way to give them back to you. All your triumphs and tragedies, all your struggles and successes, all your knowledge and experiences, they’re all right there for you. All you need to do is reach out and touch it.”
Star Spark studied the mark on the orb. Was that his cutie mark before? He could finally find out the truth about everything, but then again it was only when Twilight revealed she’d kept things from him that he cared. It was also clear that whoever he was before was markedly different from who he was now.
He looked back at the orbiting stars on his flank, then back at what Twilight had presented him with, and the marks weren’t at all similar. His past self was a Royal Guard, and while he was many things, that wasn’t one of them. Would accepting change who he was?
The weight of the decision pressed down on him, but deep inside he knew what he wanted to do.
With a single magic shot, the orb shattered into fragments of light that soon faded away. He felt tears pricking the edges of his eyes as Twilight stood there dumbfounded.
He launched himself forward and hugged her around the neck, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. “I know it bothers you that after all this time of working so hard to give me back those memories to hear that I don't want them. But please, don't think of it as throwing away who I used to be and letting those memories die. Try to look at it as I do. That you gave me a whole new life instead. One I never want to give up or cheapen with the life of someone I don't care to be. I don’t know who that pony was, but he’s not me, and I don’t want to be him." He squeezed her tighter, burying his face in her shoulder. “I love you, mom…”
Twilight hugged him back as he explained his reasoning, and she couldn’t find a single fault with it. She wrapped her wings around him, shutting out the outside world as she pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you, too.”