As a shadow fell over him, Anon lowered his shades and peeked upward. “Can I help -”
“How much?” the stallion looming above him asked. Digging his pocket, the older, balding pony produced a fistful of bits. “How much?”
Anon hitched a thumb over and motioned to a sign beside him. “Fifty bits, pal.”
“Fifty…Fifty bits?!?” the stallion blared, dropping several coins as he gnashed his teeth. “That’s highway robbery, who the hay would spend fifty-bucking-bits just to get their car washed?!?”
Unable to keep himself from smiling, Anon shrugged. “The type of person who wants to get their car washed by her…”
He twisted his head and peeked behind himself, knowing what to expect but relishing the sight all the same. Cheerfully humming to herself, with an oversized sponge in one hand and a bucket of soapy water in the other, Celestia merrily scrubbed the front quarter panel of an El Caballo. As she turned and waved over at him, he beamed and lifted a hand before shifting his focus back to the stallion standing beside him.
“Fifty bits,” he repeated.
“And another thirty if you want it waxed!” Celestia excitedly added.
With his hand open and expectantly outstretched, Anon chuckled when the stallion slammed the cold coins into his palm. For anypony to pay such an egregious price to have their car washed was lunacy - then again, it wasn’t any ordinary car wash. He pushed himself when the stallion grumbled and stormed off to his car, tossed the bits into a nearby wheelbarrow, and sauntered over to the former Princess.
Straightening up after setting her bucket and sponge down at her feet, Celestia wiped her brow. “I can’t believe there are so many!”
“I can,” Anon hummed, looking down the line of vehicles waiting for their once in a lifetime opportunity.
Getting one’s car hand-washed by an alicorn would have brought in a metric ton of business by itself, but getting one’s car hand-washed by a scantily clad, utterly stacked alicorn had whipped the population of Manehattan into a frenzy - thankfully for Anon, he’d taken every precaution available to make sure things went smoothly. Alongside a contingent of hand-picked Royal Guards, each of whom were straight, married mares, to keep the peace, he’d enacted a set of rules to ensure everypony behaved. Nopony could leave their vehicle to do anything other than to pay him, cameras were strictly forbidden, and a single irate honk or bout of impatience would see you ejected from the queue - it was as simple as that.
Celestia grunted as she bent over and snatched up a hose from beneath her. “It’s a bit hot for my liking, but that’s alright.”
The irony of her statement was palpable. While the sun was a particularly balmy day, and the sun was blazing overhead, the heat wasn’t purely due to the weather. Glancing at Celestia for a split second, he was reminded of why ponies were lined up and willing to waste an entire day and an inordinate amount of money for something they could easily do themselves.
When he’d mentioned finding a sexy swimsuit for Celestia, he’d expected something alluring like a two-piece - what he hadn’t anticipated was that she already owned something that fit the bill perfectly. Snaked over her groin, parting over her waist, and being positively devoured by her backside, her sling bikini left virtually nothing to the imagination. Damned if he could say when she’d gotten the outfit, where she’d procured it from, or how much it had cost her, but it was fucking perfect for the job.
Running a thumb beneath one band of golden, elastic fabric, Celestia adjusted her attire. “This is a bit more snug than I remember it being.”
“Hey, don’t look at me, you’re the one who picked it out,” he grunted.
He hadn’t forced herself to wear it, nor had he been the one to select it for her, so he wasn’t about to let her complain - besides, if she was unbothered by letting a packed stadium see her in the buff, showing herself off in some swimwear shouldn’t have been an issue. As he eyed her chest and watched the twin bands cloth strain under the weight of her bosoms, he contemplated what he’d do if the garment should slip out of place.
Coughing into his hand, he lingered next to her. “Just to be sure, that outfit won’t - Ack!” A splash of cool water washed over him, cutting him off and causing him to flail his arms. Hearing her giggle, he wiped his face off and grimaced over at her. “Ha ha…”
“Here,” she tranquilly intoned, passing him the hose she’d just doused him with. “You can rinse them off after I wipe them down.”
Though he hadn’t intended to get his hands dirty, letting her do all the work while he minded the till, helping her would maximize the number of customers they were able to tend to - plus it wasn’t like one of the guards couldn’t be put in charge of collecting the bits. Placing his thumb over the end of the still-running hose, he showered the car free of suds while she moved to the vehicle’s opposite side. Nopony would get upset if he was acting as her assistant - at least he didn’t think anypony would get upset.
Leaning over the hood of the coupé, she beamed over at him. “This is delightfully refreshing! And to think I had misgivings about anypony showing up for something so silly!”
Anon peered into the vehicle and to the driver’s seat. The stallion, a younger guy from the looks of it, had his eyes glued to the sight before him. He could only imagine the view, seeing a pair of tits bigger than his head plastered against the windshield, but he wasn’t jealous in the slightest - if anything, he was entertained.
Shuffling around the car, Anon sprayed the vehicle down in Celestia’s wake. For all the display she was putting on, she was actually pretty damn proficient. Periodically dipping her sponge in the bucket of soapy water, she left no spot unscoured, expertly removing dirt and dust as she moved along, although their patrons probably weren’t shelling out hard-earned bits for the cleaning.
“That ought to do it!” jubilantly noted. Crossing to the driver’s side and rapping on the window, she lowered her free hand and waved her fingers. “Tip?”
With blood streaming from his nose, the stallion shakily offered her a handful of bits, muttered something completely unintelligible, and slipped his car into drive before idling away. Poor bastard - even if he didn’t have to go home to do some laundry and get a cold shower, Anon felt certain that he’d have plenty of inspiration for any long, lonely nights he had ahead of him. With the El Cabalo out of the way, a large truck rolled forward to take its spot.
“One sec,” Anon shouted, preparing to hose the pickup down.
Waving at him and catching his attention, Celestia lifted her arms over her head. “Do me first.”
“I…what?” he mumbled, thrown off guard by her request.
“Do me first,” she said again. Lowering her hands and rubbing herself down, she sent rivulets of soapy foam rolling into her cleavage and over her bust. “I need a rinse too.”
He hesitated to give her what she wanted - not because it wasn’t undue, but because he made the poor decision to look over at the queue. The drivers, each and every one, stared daggers at him while holding their steering wheels in death grips. He may not have done anything wrong, but he could feel the contemptuous envy of virtually everypony who could see him.
“I d…don’t think that’s a good idea,” he stammered.
Sending power into her horn, she snickered. “I wasn’t asking.”
To his horror, he saw and felt her aura surround his hose-wielding hand. Realizing that he’d only been given the illusion of choice in the matter, he strained against her sorcerous grip - sadly, her magic was too strong. While the stream of water sailed through the air, cascading onto her and making her squeal with delight, all he could do was marvel at her in a mixture of awe and dread.
He wouldn’t deny that the spectacle playing out in front of him was spellbinding, but the notion that he may have unintentionally ended up on several ponies’ shit-lists dulled his enthusiasm. Keeping her hands up and laughing all the while, she presented her back to him. Maybe she was giving herself a little break, or perhaps she really was hoping to get the soap out of her coat - regardless of what she was wanting to do, she was the only pony in eyeshot who was getting cooled off.
As she threw her head back and sent her damp mane flying to her back, droplets of water glistened like a hundred-million twinkling diamonds. “Much better…”
No sooner did her aura fade than he turned the hose to the pickup. He couldn’t allow himself to get distracted - for fuck’s sake, not this early in the day! Doing everything he could to avoid looking at her, he worked his way around the truck and rinsed it down. Unless Celestia was hellbent on needing his aid, she was going to have to handle the rest of their patrons by her lonesome after this.
Strutting to the front of the massive vehicle, Celestia signaled the driver. “This is a big one, even by my standards!”
Gruffly chuckling, the stallion behind the wheel shook his head. “That’s what they all say, Princess.”
“Former Princess,” she humbly corrected. “Would you mind if I get on the hood? Unless I levitate the sponge over, I won’t be able to clean the windshield.”
The driver grinned from ear to ear as he nodded. “Be my guest.”
Listening to the suspension groan, Anon frowned when she crawled over the engine bay. “Please be careful…”
“I’m fine, Anon,” she replied. “What’s the worst that could - Whoops.”
Falling forward with her arms spread wide, she landed with a soft thud. While she was completely uninjured by the small tumble, the same couldn’t be said for the truck. The hood folded like paper beneath her, buckling as its latch was ripped in half under her weight.
“Sorry about that!” she hollered, slipping as she pushed herself up.
Anon dropped the hose and ran around behind her. “You ok?”
Having her use her body to reel in customers was all well and good, considering she had no qualms about it and was having a grand time, but he’d feel awful if she ended up getting hurt or having her ego bruised. He doubted he’d be able to stop her if she lost her balance, but he was confident that he could prevent that from happening. Should she start to slip, all he’d have to do is catch her foot and keep her from rolling off the truck - easy as.
“Quite alright,” she answered over her shoulder. “I won’t let a little slip-up stop me.”
With his head only just clearing the top of the gargantuan truck’s grill, he braced his legs and prepared himself for the worst. It was a wonder that her tits hadn’t come spilling out from the small mishap, but rolling off and plummeting to the ground would all but guarantee her bikini coming free from her bounteous bosoms. As he stood on his tiptoes and went to check on the driver, his eyes were drawn to her immaculately presented tush.
Untold centuries of having unchecked access to the best cakes and pastries in all of Equestria had done wonders for Celestia’s figure - namely in regards to her lower half. With her tail flicking from side to side in annoyance while she wiped her trusty sponge over the windshield, her pillowy buns and thick thighs were put on full display for any and all to see. He’d never actively wished to fantasize about her in a lecherous way, yet all the willpower in the world couldn’t keep his subconscious from running absolutely wild.
His head drifted from side to side as he followed her profound, gently swaying hips. There weren’t many things about her that could shatter his concentration, but her rump was chief amongst them. In spite of his best efforts, a singular notion, something he actively suppressed whenever it reared its head, bubbled to the surface of his thoughts.
“Almost done,” she noted. “Anon, get the hose ready!”
“Hose…” he mindlessly repeated, transfixed by her meaty posterior.
He didn’t know why he had such a weakness for hind parts, especially big, impossibly soft ones, although they were his achilles heel. A gorgeous face or a big rack were nice and all, but a succulent ass - heaven help him, it was hard for him to resist a fat, juicy ass. Musing on how nice it would be to have his head buried in Celestia’s decadent derriere, he yelped when somepony laid on the horn.
“Get him out of here!” he blared, wheeling around and glaring at the driver who’d decided to honk.
A pair of the guardsmares were already flitting over to deal with the offending vehicle, but he wasn’t able to savor the moment for long. Catching a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head back to Celestia and locked up. Scrambling for purchase, kicking one leg out while the other dangled off the side of the hood, the colossal klutz was holding onto one of the windshield wipers.
“A…Anon,” she cawed, casting a fearful glance back at him.
One of her bosoms had liberated itself from its confines and was sandwiched between herself and the metal beneath her, the driver appeared to have succumbed and passed out from excitement, and several ponies were shouting something, although Anon was only dimly aware of any of it - instead, his focus lay solely on the squirming alicorn’s behemoth backside. Her butt was close enough to touch, close enough to squeeze, and the thought of sinking his fingers into her rear was his undoing.
With a small snap of sheared metal, the windshield wiper gave up the ghost and broke. Time seemed to slow, an odd sense of acceptance settled over him, and he smiled broadly as she slid toward him. There wasn’t a thing he could do to stop her, he had no time to get out of the way, and his life was in genuine peril - nevertheless, he was at peace. If he was going to meet his maker by being crushed to death under one of the most magnificent asses in all of Equestria, so be it.
The warmth of her inner thighs against his cheeks was a soothing balm, the delicate fragrance of her loins was ambrosial, and the soft fur of her coat on his face was that of an angel’s kiss as he was driven back off his feet. Though the world around him spun and the ground rushed up to greet him, he wasn’t upset in the slightest - not after this experience. As far as he was concerned, he’d done the unthinkable, attained something that ponies would likely kill for, and he would cross into the next life without any regrets whatsoever.
“Anon? Anon?!?” somepony, a voice he could place but didn’t quite recognize, called out.
Gazing up at the heavens, he found himself peering into a pair of twinkling, magenta eyes filled with worry. He couldn’t move, there was a deep ache every time he drew a breath, and his head was pounding, but he was happy - truly happy. Seeing the goddess above him turn and frantically wave, listening to her voice fade into nothingness, he closed his eyes and embraced oblivion. His final thoughts before the darkness consumed him were those of how lucky he’d been to spend the last years of his cut-short life with such a wondrous Princess - his Princess…