//------------------------------//
// Broad at the Beam 
// Story: Right Fit 
// by Some Leech 
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“As you’ve probably heard, the Maresashi is the newest Ponymoto class dreadnought in the Equestrian fleet,” Celestia loudly and quite proudly announced as she led a tour group up to the vessel’s prow. “With a primary armament consisting of a trio of type ninety-six three-gun turrets, a mixture of two-dozen smaller caliber cannons, and an equal number of anti-air emplacements, she could and in all likelihood would dominate any naval engagement she found herself in.”

Seeing her glance over at him, Anon raised his hand at the subtle cue. “What about her sister ship?”

“Thank you, Anon,” Celestia noted with a curt nod. Turning and sweeping an outstretched arm across the bay, she motioned to an equally gargantuan vessel in the distance. “The Shirenano is equally well-armed, although she has slightly lighter armor and was designed for coastal bombardments.”

Anon smiled as the bustling ponies marveled at the feat of naval engineering. The salty air, the cloudless sky overhead, and sound of gulls circling in the heavens was a pleasant departure, yet his surroundings were only a part of what had him in such a fantastic mood. Celestia had done it, she’d actually found a job that involved ponies who were more interested in what she was talking about than her herself, and he was immeasurably relieved because of it.

Her job was as simple as simple could be, merely speaking highly of the Equestrian navy and periodically giving tours of vessels in port. Change of pace was nice for a number of reasons, and he would have loved it himself, although he had troubles of his own to contend with. Being constantly in her company, regardless of what she was doing, was making it harder and harder to ignore his feelings for her. As she looked over the dispersing crowd, the little groups or individuals wandering about to snap pictures, her eyes met his.

Seeing an opening, he weaved through the small throng and up to the towering alicorn’s side. “Having fun?”

Celestia nodded while she shifted and gazed up at the ship’s gargantuan cannons and bristling gun emplacements. “Oh absolutely! It’s been so, so long since I was in command of a vessel - even then, it was nothing as indomitable as the Maresashi.”

Following her gaze, he shielded his eyes and looked back at the devastating array of weaponry. She wasn’t technically in command of anything other than the ship’s visitors, having taken it upon herself to act as a chaperone for visitors, although that hadn’t stopped her from donning yet another uniform he hadn’t known she owned. The pressed suit, shined shoes, a host of metals pinned over her left breast, and her bucket cover, what she’d called her hat, looked quite dashing on her and, most importantly, were remarkably conservative.

“I gotta ask,” he chuckled, shifting to face her, “so are these really needed - like actually needed?”

Tilting her head, she gazed down at him. “What do you mean?”

“All this,” he clarified as he waved at the arsenal at his back. “When was the last time Equestria was involved in a large-scale conflict?”

She tapped her chin and turned her eyes up at the sky, deep in thought. “There were a number of sorties with the Griffon Empire half a millennia ago.”

“Exactly,” he triumphantly but somewhat softly exclaimed. “I don’t think there’s been a legitimate war in generations! Virtually everypony on the planet, pony or otherwise, gets along pretty well - plus Equestia has you, your sister, Cadance, and Twilight sparkle protecting it! Even if somepony was insane enough to become hostile, there’s no way in hell they’d get very far.”

“Anon, Luna and I are retired,” she clucked as she folded her arms beneath her mountainous bust.

“That’s a load of bull and you know it,” he huffed. “You two might be retired, but we both know you’d jump in if shit hit the fan - which is a big, big if…”

Turning her nose up, she gave a small, petulant snort. “I’ll have you know, vessels like these are good for more than just battle. Hundreds of ponies rely on the work these ships provide, the research and development divisions of the navy have brought great progress to metallurgy and engineering fields, and they’re a show of Equestrian might.”

He lifted a finger to protest, but she’d made a good point. Ponies needed jobs, acting as a global presence did come with benefits, and it didn’t hurt to flex and show the world what you were capable of as a nation. As he lowered his hand, another topic came to mind.

“So what’d you do before all this modern stuff?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“More often than not, my sister and I would show up and attempt to broker peace with whoever or whatever we were at odds with,” she coolly replied.

Giving her a moment to continue, but seeing her briefly pose for a photo, he grimaced. “And if peace didn’t work…?”

“A display of force was usually enough to make them change their minds,” she murmured.

A cold chill shrieked through him as she spoke. Her pleasant demeanor and warm smile stood in stark contrast to the incalculable might she wielded - he’d know, he’d seen it first hand more times than he would have liked. Happy to let the matter lie, he idly looked out over the glimmering sea and sighed.

“Like what?” somepony asked.

Anon turned as a pit formed in his stomach. Unbeknownst to him, several of the tourists had apparently been watching and eavesdropping on the exchange. Going to intervene, to pull something out of his ass and prevent Celestia from giving an answer, he was a split second too late.

Inserting herself between him and the gaggle of ponies, Celestia dismissively waved a hand. “Really, it was nothing. A large blast of magic or sinking a few ships could and often would be enough to get the job done. We always made sure not to severely hurt anypony in the process, although it was unavoidable that there were some minor casualties.”

“What kind of spell did you use?”

“That’s so cool! Did you ever blow up any boats?”

“Have you or Luna ever taken out an entire armada by yourselves?”

Celestia blushed as she was suddenly peppered with questions. While she was typically demure and modest, even under circumstances that called for the contrary, it was clear that the attention from the awestricken ponies was having an effect. Taking a small step back from the encroaching hoard, she held her hands up.

“On at a time, please,” she coyly stated. “I used to use a number of spells to demonstrate just how potent alicorn magic can be. I lost track of how many vessels I’ve personally sunk, but it’s somewhere in the dozens. Only on one occasion, but I’d prefer not to discuss it.”

“Alrighty!” Anon chirped, trying to steal the group’s focus from the former Princess to himself. “Lunch will be served in the galley soon, so why don’t we -”

“Do you think you could take on a ship like the Maresashi?” a small colt inquired, cutting him off as he tottered over and tugged on Celestia’s pant leg.

“I…” Celestia faltered, looking between the young pony and back at the emplacements behind her. “That’s actually hard to say. The Ponymoto class dreadnoughts are top of the line in both offensive and defensive capabilities.”

The colt scrunch his snout. “So you couldn’t? What if somepony bad steals one and tries to get you with it?”

Standing motionless for a long, silent moment, Celestia smirked and tousled the colt’s mane. “There’s only one way to find out. Anon, be a dear and keep an eye on everypony for a moment.”

“What are you up to,” Anon muttered as she marched past him toward the superstructure.

“Don’t be such a worry-wart,” she glibly laughed.

Her attempt to calm him was anything but reassuring. As badly as he wanted to follow her and demand to know what she was up to, he couldn’t for a number of reasons. The tourists were on a functional warship, there was nearly a two-story drop from the deck to the water, and there were a number of fillies and colts scampering around - in short, he couldn’t leave the visitors unattended. Hastily pulling a flier from his pocket, he did the only things he could think to do - read off facts about the Maresashi and keep his fingers crossed that Celestia wasn’t about to do something stupid.

The tourists were all well behaved, content to listen to him drone on about where the vessel was christened, its build time, and how it was actually a joint-project with the hippogriff nation, although they didn’t stay that way for long. After no more than a handful of minutes, he was interrupted by a deafening horn from near the bridge. Covering his ears, he felt the deck shift beneath his feet.

Pop

“Everypony,” Celestia blared as she appeared and with the ominous siren going silent, “I’d ask that you all make your way to the midship and either kneel or sit down.”

The ponies in attendance excitedly whispered amongst themselves as they followed her order and started shuffling away from the bow. Anon remained where he stood, debilitated by an unshakable unease. Whatever Celestia had done, he knew it wasn’t anything good in a conventional sense.

Walking up to the knee-high guardrail, Celestia peeked back at him. “You too, Anon.”

“No,” he grunted. Marching up to her side, he flinched when the horn sounded again. “Celestia, what did you do?”

She kept her eyes on the horizon and leaned forward. “Field trial.”

“Field…” The words died in his throat when he noticed the Shirenano’s cannons ponderously turning in their direction. “Are you fucking kidding me?!?”

“Language,” she tutted. “Anon, do you really think I’d do anything to put the sailors and our guests in any danger?”

“I…b…but…” he stammered as the blood drained from his face.

“The aegis wards on the Maresashi are rated to withstand destructive energies that, if Twilight is correct, are on par with anything Tirek could use when he was at full-power,” she continued. “If I can’t stop a full barrage, her shielding will keep everypony safe.”

He shied back as her horn crackled to life. “A…and you’re sure about that?”

Winking over at him, she outstretched her wings. “Quite certain - if anything you should be more worried about the Shirenano. The wards protecting her aren’t quite as robust as those on this ship, but I’ll be sure to dial it back just a touch…”

“Dial - Oh shit!” he squawked and stumbled back as nine distinct flashes from the sister ship’s main batteries.

Equestria’s technological development diverged from Earth’s in a number of ways. While the ponies had lacked in some areas, like their persistence with steam power and the recent advent of internal combustion engines, they’d excelled in others - namely in weaponry. Seeing the royal guard with swords, shields, and polearms could be intimidating, but that paled in comparison to their most ruinous armaments.

An ennead of prismatic beams lanced through the air and upset the water as they hurtled in his direction with blistering speed. The Shirenano hadn’t fired a single volley, they’d let loose a full broadside. He’d heard about the time when Twilight and Tirek pitted themselves against one another and decimated a portion of the countryside outside of Ponyville, but he’d never wanted to witness, much less be the target of such a cataclysmic attack. Praying that Celestia’s confidence wasn’t misplaced, he watched her tense.

The blasts impacted against an invisible wall and dispersed in a dizzying array of colors. The sight was awe-inspiring, beautiful, and alarming in equal measure, evoking a sense of wonderment and immeasurable terror within him. Once again, for the umpteenth time in recent memory, Celestia had proven herself to be a cheerful armageddon on legs, but the show wasn’t over not by a long shot.

“My turn,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of roiling waves and the water boiling around the prow of the vessel.

The shots from the Shirenano had been practically blinding, but they were a dim flash contrasted to the full-fury of the onslaught Celestia unleashed. All sound and light was consumed by the brilliant sliver of energy that raced to meet the imposing warship floating at the mouth of the bay. He blinked, his mind trying desperately to comprehend what he was seeing, and the blow struck.

There was no explosion, rippling of magical shields, or anything theatrical whatsoever - the prow of the Shirenano simply vanished. Like a hot knife through butter, either bypassing or piercing the immense ship’s barriers with ease, Celestia’s assault had perfectly vaporized what looked to be a dozen feet of wood and steel. Hearing claxons sound and spotting several small fires on the deck of the dreadnought, Anon inched forward then fell back when a second sun blossomed at the horizon.

“Huh,” Celestia grunted, dusting her hands and spinning on one heel. “I’m sure Twilight will be crushed to hear that her wards and enchantments aren’t quite as robust as she’d thought…”

Anon stepped back, completely dumbfounded, and peered up at Celestia as she strutted by. “A…are they gonna be ok?”

“She’s in no danger of sinking, and I made sure to radio over and have the crew move to the aft, so I’m sure everything will be fine,” she hummed. “You might want to cover your ears.”

Peaking a brow, he subconsciously lifted his hands to the sides of his head. “Cover my ears for -”

A furious roar and shockwave of pressure nearly knocked him off his feet as the earth-shattering aftermath of her fury finally hit the Maresashi. Waves crashed against the hull, the vessel swayed from side to side, and several of the onlookers had to keep themselves from falling. Anypony within the proximity of the detonation would have more than likely been erased from existence, but she’d made her point and proven that even the most advanced forms of applied science couldn’t hold a candle to her unfathomable power.

“I trust everypony is entertained?” she cheered.

Much to Anon’s surprise, not a single member of the group appeared dismayed - on the contrary, they were all elated. Each and every pony present whooped and clapped for the ex-Princess. The corners of his lips turned up, he shook his head, and he chuckled to himself. While she’d probably just caused a small fortune’s worth of damage, and would probably get a curt dressing-down from the admiralty and Twilight, the joy on her face was well worth the cost.

“Now who’s ready for that lunch?” she added, leading the way and waving for the tourists to follow. Slowing at an open hatch, she peeked back at Anon. “You coming, Anon?”

Grinning like a fool, Anon jogged over and took his place by her side. “You think they’ve got decent grub?”

“I’ll have a word with the captain if they don’t,” she snickered as she caressed his upper back.

He was both the luckiest and unluckiest guy on the planet, being tasked with assisting a demigod, but he was grateful to be with her. His arm reached out, almost as if it had a mind of its own, and he laced fingers with her. She started and glanced downward before turning and pulling him into the ship. He had no doubt that she’d get in any actual trouble for the little stunt she’d just pulled, although he did wonder if she’d noticed herself blushing when he took her hand…