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// Miner Mishap 
// Story: Right Fit 
// by Some Leech 
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“Ya load - Nnnph - sixteen tons - Huff - what do you get? Another day older and - Hah - deeper in debt…” Celestia sang as swung her pick-axe.

Anon stood well clear of the living, breathing excavator that was the alicorn. He’d had his reservations about taking up work in a mine, but he’d changed his mind as soon as he’d discovered just how incredibly industrious Celestia could be. Within a day, she was doing the work of an entire team - after a week, learning the ropes and becoming more familiar with the routine, she was doing the lion’s share for an entire shift by herself.

Management didn’t know that the sedulous mare was handling most of the hollowing out the mountain nearly by her lonesome, with her coworkers dealing with the relatively easy task of loading and moving carts of material to and from the shafts, and it was going to stay that way. Celestia didn’t mind the backbreaking labor, starting and finishing every day with a smile on her face, and the other miners sure as shit weren’t going to complain about not having to wear themselves ragged. Keeping a torch leveled at the wall the titan was cleaving through, Anon grinned.

The sound of her lilting voice echoing through the miles of tunnels and shafts was haunting and only punctuated by the Clanging of steel against stone. He wouldn’t have thought such a dark, cold, dingy place could hold such beauty - then again, Celestia had that effect wherever she went. She was a gift, a light in the dark, and there wasn’t a pony she’d met who hadn’t been awed by her divine presence.

She stopped mid-swing, illuminated the rock face she’d been carving at, and squinted. “Is that it?”

Leaving his shovel at his feet, Anon stepped over to her side. “I think so. Guys?”

One of the half-dozen stallions idling behind her trotted up to the exposed surface and ran his hand along its rough surface. “Yeah, that’ll do it. Alright, colts, time to earn that paycheck.”

Earn - shit, that was funny. For the better part of a month, the most they’d done was get serenaded, enjoy the spectacle of their regal colleague doing their jobs for them, and load carts. Anon took the pick from her hand and slung it over his shoulder as he shuffled back to give the crew some room.

Celestia followed suit, shying back as the ponies, a group of stallions and mares, began shoveling ore. “Anon, can I have some water?”

“Sure,” he hummed, unclipping a canteen from his belt. After uncapping the bottle, he offered her the bottle. “Better be careful.”

Taking the container from his grasp, she hesitated before taking a drink. “Careful of what?”

“If the ponies in charge figure out what’s going on down here, they’re liable to put you in charge,” he laughed.

It wasn’t hyperbole, she might have actually found her calling with this gig. She hadn’t caused a single problem since she’d started, she’d adjusted to the routine like a fish to water, and the combination of her physical and magical strength made her an absolute machine. Anon had figured she could be one hell of a miner, given that she could do practically anything she put her mind to, but even he was shocked that her true calling may have involved something so illustrious.

She rolled her eyes while helping herself to a long draught, lowered the flask, and wiped her chin. “I’d much rather be down here than in some stuffy office.”

Smiling all the broader, he took the bottle from her hand. “You know, I can appreciate that…”

As if to put her money where her mouth was, she waved the group of stallions and mares aside. “I can do it!”

None of the miners protested, content to let her do their jobs for them. Golden aura scooped up vast armfuls of debris, gathering the loose rock into huge floating bunches, and levitated them to the awaiting, empty minecarts. Nopony would have protested if she let her magic do the dirty work, but that was hardly her style.

Striding to a boulder that couldn’t have weighed less than a half-ton, Celestia squatted down, gripped the massive piece of earth, and heaved. The feat of strength was a wonder to behold, something even most powerlifters would struggle to accomplish, yet she made it look easy. With bulging biceps and a set jaw, she trundled the huge rock to one of the awaiting B-cars.

As he took a sip and savored the indirect kiss, his mind drifted back to stories he’d heard in his youth. John Henry, Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed - there were more folk heroes on Earth than he could shake a stick at, yet he may have been bearing witness to a myth in the making. If she kept this up, and he had no reason to think she wouldn’t, Celestia may just make a new name for herself.

“That should do it!” Celestia chipperly grunted. Dusting her hands and placing them on her hips, she shifted toward Anon. “Quitting time?”

What should have taken hours and hours of toil had been accomplished before everypony should have breaked for lunch - should in that the crew had swiftly accounted for the output of their hulking coworker. Simply put, shortly after trekking down to their assigned shaft, Anon, Celestia, and their teammates whiled away most of their time playing cards, shooting dice, or simply lounging around. The setup would have gotten everypony in trouble, mostly because the upper management wouldn’t look too kindly on paying ponies to fuck around on the clock, but it wasn’t like anypony wanted to go back to the way things had been.

Rolling up his sleeve, Anon turned his wrist to check his watch. “A few minutes early, but we can just take our time getting everything hauled up.”

“Sounds good, little buddy,” she coolly replied.

Leaning over and clutching the last in what was a string of eight carts, she braced her legs and started to push. Anon had stopped keeping tabs on how much ore she moved, although he had a pretty good idea. Each cart could carry approximately a ton, and there were ten of the things strung together, so it wasn’t rocket science. While there was a perfectly functional wench system in place, she’d only used the damn thing once - on her very first foray into the depths.

He trailed along behind her, eyeing her back and marveled at the sight. The whole of the mine was pretty dark, only lit by lamps hung from support beams, yet the gloom made her appear all the more incredible. The muscles about her titanic frame bunched and contracted with her every step, a testament to how mighty she was without her magic, and didn’t complain in the slightest from the exertion.

The gang only slowed when they reached the surface, shielding their eyes from the setting sun that bathed them in light. Most of the ponies dispersed, happy for the fresh air and a chance to warm themselves, yet Anon lingered. While mining was an underappreciated, dirty, and even dangerous profession, he’d found a guilty pleasure in it.

Running a forearm over her face, Celestia straightened up and rested her tush against the B-Car. “Not too bad, if I do say so myself.”

Anon nodded while looking her over. He’d been a bit stunned to learn how archaic Equestria’s mining practices were, simply giving their workers simple hand tools and a paycheck, but they came with one small benefit. Since there were no uniforms or related attire for the work, he and Celestia had been left to choose clothing they thought was suitable.

While he’d picked up some heavy canvas shirts and slacks for himself, as well as some sturdy boots, Celestia’s apparel was slightly more questionable. Adorned in not but a pair of overalls and boots, her outfit constantly ran the risk of letting something slip - a fact that she was wholly unbothered by.

Had he not known better, he would have thought he was looking at a gargantuan, jet-black giantess. Any trace of white on her exposed fur was covered in coal dust, as were two particular hairless patches on her chest, making her look like a jumbo version of her sister - well, excluding the eyes, mane and tail. Seeing her glance behind herself, in the direction of the office building sat beside a set of train tracks, and surreptitiously wave him over, he peaked a brow.

“What’s up?” he asked, unsure if he should be worried.

She kept her eyes on the buildings for a minute, clearly looking for something or someone, then bent over and brought her muzzle to his ear. “Wanna do something fun?”

He knew she’d said something, but the view of her bosoms made it hard to think of anything other than burying his face in her cleavage. Slick with sweat and dark as midnight, her udder-like breasts were so close he could feel the heat radiating off of them. Calling upon his willpower, he steeled his resolve and wrenched his mind from the lecherous morass it was sinking into.

“Like what?” he whispered, twisting his head to peek up at her face.

A mischievous smirk graced her muzzle as her eyes shot to one of the carts. “After we empty those, let's go for a ride.”

“Celestia,” he groused, “that’s a terrible idea.”

A wounded look instantly crossed her angelic, pitch-colored face. “Why? Everypony’s about to -”

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

She turned and motioned at the nearby horn after it had finished blaring. “See! Everypony’s going home for the night, we’ll have the mine to ourselves, and it’s not like we could do any damage.”

Ignoring Equestria’s lack of safety standards, the lax supervisory staff, and that she’d made several good points, he wasn’t completely sold with the notion of living out a skit from a cartoon show. It was true that she was more than capable of protecting him, both with her body and by arcane means, but shitting his pants while zipping through a series of tunnels could cause issues. Getting caught, breaking something, or making a mess would end with them getting berated at best and fired at worst - bearing that in mind, particularly because things had been going so well for them, he was going to put his foot down.

“Come ooooooooon,” she softly urged while fanning the bib of her overalls.

“I…” Anon stopped himself when a thought occurred.

The minecarts were pretty small, barely big enough to fit two ponies, and they hadn’t been designed to comfortably fit a mare of Celestia’s immense proportions. She’d have to squeeze herself into one of the damn things with her legs tucked up and staying hunched over, but that turned what would have been a terrible idea into an amazing idea. If he was going to cater to her child-like compulsions, there was only one way he was going to do it.

Containing himself, he backed away from her. “Can I sit with you?”

Her eyes lit up and she emphatically nodded. “Of course! You didn’t think I’d have you all by yourself ~ did you?”

He snickered and shook his head, both amused by her reaction and slightly ashamed of what he’d just signed himself up for. “Maybe?”

“Anon, while I doubt anything bad will happen, I’d much rather keep you close,” she tutted. “After what happened in Manehattan, I’m not running any risks with you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he hummed, grinning as she tousled his hair. “If we move slow enough offloading these, everypony should be done by the time we’re finished.”

Giving him a firm nod, and moving a bit too quickly for his liking, she shifted and crossed to one of the carts. The easiest way to handle emptying the cars would be to simply kick the locking lever and turn them on their side, allowing the bucket to swing and dump loads with next to zero effort, although that would put a kink in their little scheme. Tossing rocks down the slope and to the heaped mass of coal to be processed, they put themselves to work.

By the time they were done, the sun had set, the site was as quiet as a grave, and the crews had all departed. Once he’d knelt down and decoupled the last cart from the string, he got to his feet. He hadn’t planned on finishing his day with something so spontaneous, but the notion of going on a wild ride with Celestia was pretty compelling.

Leaping into the emptied cart, Celestia tucked her legs up and patted the sliver of space between her thighs. “Room for one more!”

He kept quiet as he climbed in and on top of her. There wasn’t nearly enough room for the two of them - then again, that’s what had ultimately inspired him to oblige her. Effectively seated on her lap, with his legs situated between her thighs, he eased his head against her bust and grabbed the car’s sides.

Luxurious carriages, sporty wagons, opulent airships - screw that. Having a heaving pair of sweater puppies as a pillow was where it was really at. Feeling her body heat seeping through his clothes, he peeked up and back at her while giving a thumbs up. As she wrapped one arm around his chest and held him to herself, she reached over and flipped the brake lever.

They started slowly, lazily rolling forward while impelled by her magic, but it didn’t stay that way for long. Reaching and rolling down the mineshaft, the cart picked up speed at a staggering pace. Flying by lamps in a blur, he held onto the cart for dear life.

“Woo-hoo!” Celestia shouted while keeping her chin on his head.

Was it fun? Yes, of course it was fun, but the scariest way possible. This wasn’t a roller coaster, a ride engineered with safety in mind, and Anon immediately realized his hesitation had been well-warranted. Feeling his heart hammering away in his chest, he instinctively leaned to one side to keep the car from tipping over in a steep curve.

“I…I don’t know about this,” he rasped, his voice barely audible over the whipping wind.

“It’s fine,” Celestia yelled. “Just enjoy yourself! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Anon winced when a thunderous crack and splinters of wood shot through the air. As he looked up, wondering what in the hell had happened, his blood ran cold. Feeling comfortable enough to release him, Celestia had thrown her arms to her sides in jubilation. Seeing her so overjoyed would have been heartwarming, but there was a problem - she was shattering every support beam they zipped by.

“C…Celestia,” he shouted. Failing to get her attention, he reached up and grabbed her face. “Celestia!”

“What’s - oh dear,” she gulped, only then understanding the devastation she’d been reaping.

Fully prepared to plead for his life, Anon blinked and found himself held in her arms outside of the mine. She’d teleported them to safety with but a thought, far and away from the deathtrap they’d been sitting in, yet he was given little time to appreciate it. A series of muffled booms and a peculiar rumbling wrenched his attention away from her.

The mountain - the entire mountain, shrank and collapsed in on itself. He’d had some idea that the operation was old, going back a few generations, but he couldn’t have fathomed that a single mishap would demolish the entire network of tunnels! Scrambling out of her clutches, he grabbed the bib of her overalls and hauled her down to his eye level.

“We were never here,” he hissed.

Meeting his gaze, she stiffened. “B…but…”

“We were never here,” he sternly repeated.

Rubbing the back of her neck, she closed her eyes. “I suppose I really should urge Twilight to look into how hazardous some of these job sites can be.”

Listening to another series of detonations, likely caused by one of the many dynamite stashes throughout the complex, Anon nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably the best idea you’ve had all day…”

If they wanted to avoid a hefty civil suit or criminal charges, he was going to have to cook up an alibi and coach her with it before the night was out. His expression softened the second he saw the crestfallen look on her face. It was probably for the best that things had turned out the way they had, but there’d still be a headache to deal with - mostly because he knew good and damned well that she was going to make sure the workers didn’t lose out from a lack of work. As he took her hand, she gave him a nervous smile. At the end of the day, after everything was said and done, she still had him to kick around, and that’s all he cared about…