Dear Princess Celestia
I'm going to be honest, this isn't a friendship report. Earlier today the show mare Trixie visited my home just to use my bathroom to change into her new suit.
It was already weird enough that she was wearing a suit, but as it turned out, she wasn't planning on staying in ponyville.
I had planned on trying to befriend Trixie, but it seems she wasn't going to give me the time of day, and besides, she mentioned that she had made new friends
But one of her friends in question is why I'm writing this letter to you.
His name is Stark, or, at least that's the shortened version.
His full name, is Tony Sparkle Stark, and, apparently, he's my cousin, and was in fact looking for me when I met him.
He claimed that he doesn't know what his cousin, or, I guess I look like? This is really confusing.
Kind of embarrassingly, I froze when he told me that, and he left before I could say anything.
From what I found out, he, for some reason thinks I'm south, beyond the badlands, and has ventured out there in the hopes of finding me.
So, I guess I have a cousin? I mean, he did sound pretty certain that I was his cousin.
Anyway, that's kind of why I've written this letter, do you think you could maybe help me find him? I would ask my brother, since this seems to be a family matter, but he hasn't really spoken to me in a while.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
P.S I think he'll take a break at Dodge Junction, maybe you could send some ponies to find him there?
Princess Celestia lowered the letter from her magical grasp.
Already, she didn't really like whoever this, stark was.
She had already known of him, as he was apparently the one who successfully attacked the Saddle Arabian royale palace.
For what motive? Celestia didn't know.
And now, he claims to be her students family member?
...
"What are you scheming, Stark?"
----
*/---*/
...
I take a look at my surroundings.
...
Darkness.
...
Uh, ok, I'm not dead right? No, no I'm not.
Let's see, what was the last thing I did? That's right, go to sleep.
Where was I? Dodge Junction.
Me and the girls had spent the rest of the day after we arrived just walking around, getting something to eat, and eventually took out a room at an inn or something.
So, is this a dream?
...
If that's the case, then, one, this is a pretty boring dream, and two, why haven't I woken up yet?
Im pretty sure I shouldn't be self aware that this is a dream and not wake up.
...
"So, thou art the one calle-"
"Holy fucking shit!!" I scream as I turn around to face whoever the hell just spoke to me.
...
...
"Christ, you almost gave me a fuckin heart attack!" I exclaimed as I got a good look at the mare standing before me.
She was a tad tall, and had both horn and wings.
She had what looked to be dark blue fur, a mane that straight up waves without wind and looked like it had stars in it.
She was also wearing what looked to be regalia, and had what looked to be a crescent moon tattoo on her thigh.
"Wait, who are you? Dawg, am I already dreaming about pony women? That sure didn't take long" I say, Wich causes the mares eyes to widen a bit.
"Ah, I am princess Luna, and thou must be stark, are you not?" the mare asks.
"...Yes?"
Luna nods her head.
"I have heard much about thou, sir stark"
"You have? Wha- wait, hold on, what's going on? Who exactly are you?"
"Did I not just inform you of who I was?"
"W- well yeah, but, like, where am I? And why are you here?"
"Thou art in your dream, stark"
"I gathered that much, and why am I dreaming about you? Am I supposed to know you?"
"I am not very surprised you don't recognize me, after all, it has not been that long since my return"
"Return from what?"
"Don't worry about it, and as for your question, I entered your dream to-" Luna began to say, but I cut her off.
"Wait Wait wait, you, entered my dream? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what you think it means, I can freely travel the dream space and enter the dreams of anypony, as it is my duty to watch over them"
...
"Ok, I'm not even gonna try and comprehend how that works, anyway, you entered my dream, for what?"
Luna squinted her eyes a bit at me.
"Why, to try and learn about thou of course, we need to know everything before we capture you"
...
Ah hell nah.
"Capture me?! F- for what!?"
"Is it not obvious? You are considered a threat, sir Stark, it's as simple as that"
"So what, you sending the damn swat team at me? Hell nah, where your warrant!?"
"My, what?"
"Your warrant, you know, government papers giving you the green light to capture my sorry ass"
Luna just blinked at me.
"I doth need a, warrant sir Stark, that is not the way we do things around here"
Godammit.
"Ok, well, I already don't like you luna, and from the looks of it, you're gonna be the next royal I piss off" I start saying.
"So, I'm gonna wake up now to book it south, if you don't mind" I say as I close my eyes.
...
Any moment now...
"I'm afraid I can't let you wake up, you are dangerous, and I would much rather not have my guards injured"
"So your locking me inside my own head? That's messed up yo, there's gotta be a rule against that in the dream handbook"
Surprisingly, luna looks down, a bit downtrodden, as she sighs.
"Yes, usually, I do not do this, but I just do not know what thou are capable of, I am doing this for the safety of everypony involved"
"Well, sorry Luna, miss moony, madam lulu, I'm gonna get out of here bro" I start saying as I start fnicking with my arc reactor.
I guess something I said must have struck some cord with the princess, as she visibly gets angrier.
"How did thou-... What are you doing?"
"I'm gonna give myself a little zap, that's sure to wake me up right?" I say as mess around some more with the arc.
"Yes, but how will you accomplish such a thing? And, what is that? She asks as she points at the reactor I'm currently turning Ike a nob.
"Uh, it's kind of like a electric heart, or something, anyway, good seeing ya Luna! I'm gone!" I exclaimed as I finished messing with my arc, effectively shocking myself.
"Wai-" Luna started so say, but was cut off by a sudden shock throughout my body that woke me up.